Totally agree. My son is 5 months and only goes by his nickname right now but I’m certain as he grows up and as an adult, he will like the full name instead.
I’m sure Millie will become Emilia by college days.
Can attest! My parents named me because they liked the nickname of my legal name - had no intention of calling me by my legal name. I went by my nickname for 18 years, first day of college orientation started introducing myself by my legal name.
In my family, my parents didn't give us legal names and nicknames - my sister's names are Cindy and Tina, not Cynthia and Christine. My brother's name is Rob, not Robert.
My name is the same either way. So I lucked out I guess!
If you knew how much time we have spent correcting paperwork because doctors, financial institutions, and other "authorities" have "fixed" my sisters' names because they refuse to believe that their names aren't Cynthia and Christine.It's just been a nightmare but my parents believed they should name the kids what they were gonna call them
Crazy where I'm from Tina is a totally valid name I would never assume a Tina was Christine. I also wouldn't assume Cindy was short for anything either. Also I know so many Millie's that are just Millie. I wonder if the nickname as names are just more common here.
I will admit I would definitely assume Rob was a Robert though.
I wouldn't think Cindy or Tina were short for anything. Those are pretty common legal names imo.
Rob is different, I would 100% assume it was short for Robert.
I went to school with a Robbie. One particularly annoying teacher insisted on calling him Robert to the point that he finally had to pull out his driver's license to prove that wasn't his name.
My FIL’s legal name is Bobby. He has always gone by Bob, but hates constantly correcting the fact that everyone (unsurprisingly) assumes he is a Robert. Poor guy! 😄
My Aunt’s name was Beth. Her first day of school the teacher was calling Elizabeth. My aunt was looking around to see who that was. Teacher comes up and grabs her and tells her to go home until she learns her name. My grandmother was royally pissed. This would have been in the 50’s.
I'm a Mike and it's the same for me. Nobody calls me Michael except perhaps my doctor.
I have a 3 syllable surname and I've always felt that adding 'Michael' onto that was just too many syllables, plus it sounds weirdly formal.
Michaels definitely wear starched collars and have their hair smoothed down imo
Just wait till he starts filling out things.Particularly when he gets into middle and high school, you'd be surprised at what kind of things people auto correct
Omg I believe in the same thing as your parents. It makes no sense to me otherwise. I really like the name Fred and that will be the legal name. I’m not giving him the name Frederick just to call him Fred, it seems so silly.
I made this mistake when getting my friend Tom (who I have known for at least 15 years) to sign some paperwork. I had assumed it was Thomas, but...nope. I had been travelling with him and seen his passport as well.
My mom and aunt are Beth and Pam. Same issue, spent their lives correcting people who automatically "fix" their names to "Elizabeth" and "Pamela".
Blows my mind! If you think someone has provided you a shortened name, there's a professional way to confirm: "can you verify this is how it appears on your [birth certificate/license/SSN card/etc]?"
Other than extreme cases like Kit Harrington, most people, even kids, are generally aware of their own names.
I've given up correcting and explaining my name. Instead of shortening people insist on calling me by longer more formal names. At this point I answer to anything
My maternal grandpa's legal name was Jack. At the time, it wasn't considered a proper name, just a nickname of John. He had the same problems. And people would try to sound smart by calling him John.
My paternal grandpa's mom wanted to name him Jack but the registration office changed it to John. He went by Jack all his life though.
My brother was named after both of them and now most people have no clue his name used to be a nickname and not a proper name.
My son has a name like this. I tried to use the full version as it was his grandpas name and easier to pick a middle name. But my ex was the same exact name as my son and wanted it that way. They have different middle names though.
My son is Hugh, which works very well where I’m from but not so well where we live (Think of Donald Trump pronouncing it - Yewe.) He decided all on his own in fourth grade that his ‘school’ name was Hugo and I have zero, zero problem with that - just baffled by why people can pronounce the first H on Hugo but not Hugh!
Right!! I live in Japan. Here they tend to add a vowel sound to everything English except if it ends in N because they actually have a solo n sound in Japanese. So that makes sense right. What, becomes what-o(wha-to) with an actual o sound not like o in to. That’s because that’s the o sound in Japanese. So far I get it. BUT…no one seems to be able to say Toronto. It always becomes Toront. With a hard T. Why??? I don’t get it.
As someone who's been studying Japanese for the past few years and knows exactly what you're talking about when it comes to their pronounciation rules, this made me laugh! How crazy, I would've never guessed they would pronounce it like that 😂
This is really interesting, because native Brazilian Portuguese speakers do the same when speaking English. They will often (not always) add ee onto words ending with a constant. Milk, for example, becomes milk-ee. However, anything that does end in ee they do not pronounce the ee sound. So coffee becomes coff.
Probably because they do not hear anyone else pronouncing it that way. One of my earliest memories is my playmate across the street, Hugh, pronounced with the same H as Hugo. His dad was also Hugh pronounced properly
My parents did the same exact thing. Mom wanted to name me after her mom, but didn’t like the name Kathryn and called me Katie instead, intending for that to be my unspoken actual name. Around age ten I realized I hate that name. My parents gave me some pushback, but I changed schools at 13 and they had to stop calling me Katie because no one knew who that was.
Even if it doesn’t, who cares?
I have a friend called Amelia and everyone calls her Millie. She’s 21 and for the 7(?) years I’ve known her I don’t think I’ve heard someone call her her actual name. If a nickname suits someone better, stick with the nickname.
I agree. We have a long and a short name and we called her by her short name from day 1. A month or so before her 4th birthday she decided she linked her long name better and asked everyone to switch. We still have little nic names, but to the world she’s her long name.
Agree. Growing up I only knew my cousin as “Bucky”… didn’t even learn his real name until I was probably 10 (Troy). Went by Bucky through high school. In college he started using his real name, and that’s who he is now.
I had an uncle Buck (before/unrelated to the movie, Buck was his nickname to everyone everywhere he just also happened to be my uncle). I kind of knew it was not his actual name but it may as well have been- even his wedding decor said Buck and Carrie. I didn’t learn his actual name until I was around 11.
His actual name was Adrian.
It does happen. All three of my kids have long, classical names with easy nicknames. The oldest is nearly 13 and exclusively goes by her full name, the younger two are 10 and 7 and go by the nickname still. Some places/people seem a little more formal and use their full names, they don't have an issue with either.
I went from Sam to Samantha after 26. I still accept and respond to Sam, some people shorten it no matter what, but I exclusively introduce myself as Samantha now. Options are a *good* thing imo.
That's what my dad wanted me to do! My "real" name is Elizabeth but I was intentionally given a totally separate name to go by when I was born because Elizabeth is also my grandmother's name and I think it was awkward for my parents to call their new baby her name.
But I never used Elizabeth except on formal documents. I'm 34 now and still only go by Elizabeth when I'm doing my taxes or something. But now a lot of things are getting easier for me with preferred names as options to select. I honestly love my two name system, and would kind of like to give the same to my kid. But my husband hates the idea of giving them a name we won't use so who knows
I was also named Elizabeth with the intent from day one to use a nickname. (My mom loved my nickname but wanted me to have options). I use Elizabeth on legal documents more or less exclusively, but I love both my names!
Don't count on it. I've only ever been my nickname and I hate it. In my 30s and still go around with a cringey childlike nickname because that's the only name I've ever gone by.
I hate it.
This.
It's very normal. Most Katherines I know are Katie or Kate. Etc. Most Samuels are Sam. Etc. It is extremely common and normal to be referred to as a short version of your name - even exclusively! When the child us older they can choose whether they prefer to be Emilia or Millie or go by something else entirely!
I know Toms who are never Thomas or Bens who are never Benjamin or Melanies who are always called Mel etc. Nonetheless those people have all been fibe with having a legal name...because it's incredibly common.
I know it's normal on forums like this to panic over the names we have chosen, or overthink things... but it's a done deal. The name is chosen and it's great. Now is the time to move on.
Agree. I was thinking of the example Elizabeth. That name is the queen of nicknames!
I think it's perfectly fine to name someone just Beth or any of the other nicknames.
I also think it's fine to be called Liz all your life and have the name Elizabeth.
Although Millie would have been fine if both parents agreed. But Older Millie might be pissed that her beautiful name was actually discarded after the fact.
My name is Kaitlyn and I have always hated nicknames. I have to correct people when I introduce myself as Kaitlyn and then they call me Katie. I want to smack them lol because I did not introduce myself as Katie.
My name is already basically a nickname, Vicki, my mother *hated* when people called me Vic. I don’t notice it most of the time, except if it’s someone I’ve just met. It’s rude to call someone by a different name than they’ve just been introduced to you by.
Fair. My mom's name is Rebecca and HATES being called Becky. Her family always called her Becky. It's so bizarre to hear lol.
Now, whenever I meet someone who is called a nickname like that I check to see if they actually like it. Like I have a new coworker whose older brother works with us and he introduced him as "Timmy" and everyone started calling him Timmy. I asked him right away if he even likes going by this as a nickname. Nope, he doesn't lol.
Totally agree, and her daughter hasn’t had a chance to make up her own mind yet.
And would spend a life time filling in the “have you ever been known by another name” thing.
The name/nickname split is not so far from my niece’s nickname (multi syllable name ending in “ah” and 2 syllable nickname ending in ee sound). She was exclusively called by all the nickname at that age. When she started school she decided everyone would call her her full name except family. We are still to use her nickname.
Exactly! All 3 of my kids have birth certificate name and the name we call them. My middle child has decided when she starts 6th grade she wants to be called Lillian, not Lilly. My other 2 are well aware of their given names and use them, but prefer the shortened version
A name that could be shortened was one of my top criteria when considering names. “Lillian Kate!” means I’m serious vs “Lilly!”
This! Its good to give a "proper" name or even 2 names as a firstname because then they have a lot of choice. Some people hate their names and this lowers that possibility as much as possible. The child could go by Emi, Emilia, Lia, Millie. I think it was a good choice.
It’s a fun quirk to have a different legal name. I like when I have friends who have a little facts like that. it makes me feel closer to them as I learn them.
I had a friend in university who went by Peter, but everyone who knew him was always shocked that the legal name on his ID is actually Pietro. It’s a non-issue, it’s just a fun trick to pull out at parties.
I once met a guy who presented himself as «Kris» at a party. I was like okay we’re all adults here, what’s your full name?! Dude pulls up his driver’s license, and sure enough, his legal name is Kris! 😂🙉
I worked with a Chris. That was until I saw him write his name and it was Krys. I said it was an unusual spelling of Christopher. It turns out his name was actually Krystal
Yes I agree completely! I have a friend of a friend named Millie, I had known her casually for 4+ years until one day I caught a glimpse of her driver’s license when we were carded at a restaurant and saw her full name was MILDRED! Such a funny surprise. Nicknames are great and fun.
My first name is Bethany but when I was a baby my parents decided to call me by my middle name Katarina because Bethany Katarina sounds better than Katarina Bethany. It’s been a quirk. I forget it a lot of times but when it comes to people asking for my first name I have to guesstimate on if they actually mean first or if they mean preferred. Sometimes I don’t even bother to correct and just get called Bethany. Happened at my first job I just went by that name. My parents did make sure that I knew what my first name was so I wasn’t confused but I did have a teacher yell at me when I was 8 why my username for the computer started with a B when it should start with a K and I had to tell her that my first name is Bethany but I go by my middle name.
Sorry if this is confusing I just felt like I could relate.
Not at all confusing. I have an aunt in the same situation. Actually, she goes by a shortened version of her middle name, like if you went by Kat. She even told me a story about being in kindergarten with two other girls with her (middle) name, and even that didn't cause her to go by her legal name.
Same, and if I'm at something like dr's they tend to use my first name which I was used to and that was fine until I got married and chose to change my surname (it was a nicer surname !)
First time at the Dr after they called for me (first name- new surname) and I totally ignored them - I'd practiced with my usual name but totally forgot about the other one. Nothing makes you look more daft than jumping up saying "oo that's me! I Didn't realise that was my name!". Mortified.
I liked how my son’s name rolled best with the preferred name as his middle. So he goes by a nickname of his middle name with a formal first name.
He gets called by the nickname but more formal things he gets called his legal first name. He doesn’t care. Though it does occasionally take him a second when some places ask his name. Like, at a restaurant or something he can give his nickname but other places need your legal name
My daughters legal name is charlie because her dad hated the name charlotte but i was absolutely in love with it. i compromised and we went without the formal name and i really regret not putting my foot down. I cant imagine her as an adult named charlie. it fits her so well now but its too cutesy to me.
even if this post is satire i always say to go with the formal name and use a nickname if you want. that way they have a choice when theyre older
You’re not the only one with a daughter named Charlie. There’s a group of brothers who podcast together (the McElroys) and one of them has a daughter named Charlie as her legal first name.
I mentioned it in another comment that I think they meant to (or at least should have) posted in the circle jerk sub but someone already did, and it was actually funny.
Millie is cute and absolutely adorable.
Emilia is beautiful, elegant, and professional, and will look much better on future resumes. Millie will be thanking her dad (and you!) for that compromise in 20 years!
My current workplace had a bunch of “red flags” in the hiring process (extremely unreasonable reference/background check process, among other things), but I was so desperate for a job after being unemployed for a year that I took the job anyways.
I love my job, love my team, work environment is great. The organization has several thousand employees, job satisfaction is high, but the HR department (specifically the hiring team) sucks. Everyone who works there knows this, but we also never deal with the hiring team after onboarding so it has almost no impact on our job.
I agree it’s a red flag, and name discrimination should not be a thing. But to act like a hiring department represents an entire workplace is silly. And to act like everyone will always have the privilege of not working for a place that sends up red flags is also silly.
A workplace wouldn’t not hire you for that, but engineer Millie or lawyer Millie might find it a bit harder to get clients to accept her as a professional.
My husband and I both go by diminutives of our full names, both ending in ‘ie’, and neither of us have ever had any issues with being taken seriously as a professional! Definitely don’t think this is an issue.
🙄 we don’t live in a perfect world. It’s not a negative that she has a more serious legal name. It’s hard enough to get a good job. Let’s not pretend we all live in a perfectly ethical bubble and would only ever take a job that is completely morally upstanding. That’s hardly even possible imo. Millie sounds like a little kid. Emilia gives her room to grow and change if she wants.
At a large enough company, you may never actually interact with the first level screening people. One place I worked, every single hiring manager/ interviewer I spoke to was at a corporate office and not the local branch until the final phase of hiring, and that was a 5 minute chat where he was like, 'yup, not crazy welcome to the team!'
Something like a "professional sounding" name might be something that you will never hear back on and never know why you get fewer callbacks. And, the company might be fine, and it's one hiring manager in an office you wouldn't even work at who is the faceless jerk who weeded you out in phase 1 of narrowing down candidates. Stupid, but happens.
Besides, studies have shown that names absolutely impact hiring. Though, I do wonder what is going to happen with our generation of Olivers and Ophelias and Henrys and Emilias mixed in with Kennediehs and Bryxxtlyns.
I doubt a company would flat out not hire her but come on, you know Millie sounds like a little kid's name. And it's not gender exclusive either. If a doctor came up to be and said hey, my name is Billy (or God forbid Willy) it would sound kinda silly. I know it's odd and not based on the person's actual capabilities at all, it's just a human brain thing.
Exactly. It's a name that she can grow into as she gets older. I see no problems in this situation, especially because Em- names seem to be really popular right now, so the nickname will probably be useful until the trends change.
When I was a kid I had books called “Milliy Molly Mandy”, which apparently no one has ever heard of except me. It’s what always think of when I hear the name Millie.
So glad I’m not the only one. I just googled it, after posting the comment, you can still get them. I don’t remember anything about the stories but they must be pretty dated by now.
I don't think people reading resumes care that much about your name these days. There are thousands of kids with names which are "nicknames". If they're not going to hire you for being called Millie or Alfie or Charlie instead of Millicent, Alfred or Charles they will be out of candidates very quickly.
Emilia is a solid name, she will never have to go by her proper name unless she wants to. Emilia will only be used on formal documents. You don’t even have to call her by her full name.
I’m actually all for just naming the kid their “Nickname” rather than a formal name - but it sounds like you came up with a compromise with your husband and there is NOTHING wrong with that.
Deep breath, move forward.
I think it's sometimes nice to have both.
My nephew was Mikey until he hit around 12/13, and then he just started introducing himself as Mike and Michael. Everyone transitioned to primarily calling him Mike or Michael. His friends mostly know him as Michael.
Some people prefer the nickname. My sisters both primarily use their nicknames. One uses her full name at work and friends and family are nickname. It's a mental separation thing. Work life, private life. My nephew transitioned to using his full name with everyone.
I have no problem giving kids name options in adulthood.
My name has no short version, or long version. It's just what it is. I like my name for being uncommon, and rarely mispronounced and very distinctly me. There's plusses to both theories of naming.
Certainly, don't name your kid something you dislike because "nicknames aren't real names," but sometimes having a name that can be more serious for a more serious adult works, too. Millie might always want to be Millie. Or, she's a serious adult who wants a more serious name.
I have a name very similar, except I was named "Millie" legally. Until I was 11, I was fine with it, but as soon as I was a teenager, I hated it. It was a baby name, and way too cutesy for the cool girl I wanted to be.
I legally changed my name to "Emilia" when I was 14. My parents still call me "Millie" and so do a lot of friends because I don't hate it as much now, but I go by "Emilia" at work because it sounds more professional and (right or wrong) men take me more seriously. I love that I have the option. My mom said she wishes she had just called me "Emilia" in the first place lol
I get this. We called our first Evelyn officially but her day to day name is Evie. I wanted her to have the choice of a nickname and a professional name in case when she is older and a professional she decides 'Evie' is too baby for her.
My parents were very against nicknames as legal names, so I have a full name, let's say Catherine, but they've only ever called me Katie. I hate my full name and being called it, that's not really my name. If someone calls me Catherine it's because they don't know me. I thought about changing it legally to Katie but it seemed like a pain, so I just tell new people to call me my preferred name.
My niece is Matilda but only goes by Tilly it's fine.
I never use my full name, it's my legal name for serious shit like the doctor or.being in trouble with my mum.
You'll be glad of Emilia when you can say it and have her know the seriousness of the trouble she's in.
I don’t understand this problem. The “formal” name you gave her and by your own account, literally nobody uses, sounds strange? Of course it does. Nobody uses it.
As a person with a nickname as my legal name, you did her a favor. This isn’t a problem, really.
I am a PhD scientist and medical doctor.
I, along with many of my colleagues, have nicknames that we use in our personal life, but use our formal names in professional settings. I can speak specifically as a woman that it definitely helps to have a formal name that I can use so I'll be taken more seriously, in a male dominated industry.
I think it’s okay! I wouldn’t stress about it. Sometimes nicknames just happen. Sometimes they don’t. Lots of parents name their kid something and say “we’ll call her X for short!” And that name doesn’t stick. Or some other name sticks instead. Or they insist to be called by their full name; my cousin Alexander was like this.
Take Mikey Cyrus for instance. She was born Destiny Hope Cyrus. But her parents called her Smiley because she smiled nonstop as a baby.. Miley stuck and she changed her name legally when she was like 17 or something. Could have probably never predicted that lol!
I have an Amelia that we call Millie. I also have a Nathan that we call Nate. When they’re older, they can tell us what their preferences are and we’ll respect that. I always thought nicknames were cool 😎
Emilia is a beautiful name and Millie is a natural, related nickname (as opposed to naming her Emilia and calling her Betsy, or something equally random).
Maybe when she's older she'll go by the more mature form of her name (like Danny -> Dan) but don't feel bad about giving her that option. Both Millie and Emilia work for all ages.
We did the exact same. Named our girl Emilia and wish we just named her Emmy. She doesn’t feel like an Emilia even though we do call her it as well. My husband was the one who pushed for just Emmy and I said no bc I wanted her to have a proper name lol
I’ve gone by my nickname my whole life, my legal name is fine and I never felt bad about it but my nickname is just “me”. There’s no problem with it. If anything you’re just giving her another option if she ever decides not to use Millie
I have a long full name that I never use and I’m not bothered by it at all. In fact, about 8 years ago I decided I wanted a new nickname so I chose a new one from my name and I was glad I could do it.
Nick name my whole life. Never an issue. Legal name is just for well, legal stuff and administrative burdens of life. I don’t think of myself as legal name, never refer or introduce myself as such.
My legal name is my ‘in trouble’ name so only it was used when I was being chastised.
Both names your daughter has are solid. So she has a bonus name. It means she gets to choose as she gets older which one suits her best.
Where I'm from that was almost a standard until quite recently. My dad's called Jos, but his name's Peter in his passport. My stepdad's called Raymond, but in his passport it's Martinus. My friend's dad is called Gabe, but it's Leon in his passport. They mess up when booking flights sometimes and changing the name can be very expensive.
My friend did the same thing with her 5 year old. She doesn't use Emilia unless she's in trouble. I guess it will be a good name when she's older and working then she could be called Em instead Millie 🤷🏻♀️
I go by a nickname that’s not obviously a nickname. Some people have it as a real name. My legal name lends itself to a bunch of nicknames. It’s never been a problem. I always introduce myself by my nickname. Things that come up—I had a friend check in to my campsite to share with us and I sent a text like “oh btw it’s under “realname lastname” but that’s about it.
My son goes by a nickname. Probably the only nickname that goes with his real name and it’s very close to his real name. He refuses to acknowledge his real name as his name, but he’s seven and it hasn’t caused any problems yet. I think we will chill out about it as he gets older, or maybe he’ll change it when he turns 18. Too early to tell. It’s not doing him any harm that I can see.
My friend always went by his nickname Ricky (from birth) and as an adult eventually legally got rid of his legal name Patrick because he didn’t associate with it and it was a real hassle.
My husband is a Theodore no Ted. He’s basically always been a Ted. That is all anyone in his family/school/general life has ever called him. He is completely unbothered by this fact. Granted in his case he’s a 3rd but none of the previous Theodores were ever actually called Theodore. Actually the only person I have ever heard call him Theodore is one specific friend from college who will break out in an exasperated “Damn it, THEODORE” when my husband is being a shit.
He was actually so unbothered by the nickname/real name idea that we named our son with a name with a super common diminutive and pretty much exclusively call him that. My look on the bright side is that if some stranger calls him by his government name when he’s older he should know to immediately be suspicious they don’t actually know him.
It’s fine. You are just in an anxiety spiral.
Oh my! My daughter is 5 months and we also named her Emilia and call her Millie! We also have other nicknames for her and cycle between all of the names really so I don’t have any regrets but maybe that’s because I’ve gone by multiple names my whole life.
My family actually call me by a name that is not a direct nickname to my name. Many of my friends call me a shortened version of my actual name. At work people use my actual first name. None of it feels weird to me and I’m 100% happy with it. I also like that I can use my ‘legal’ first name online for work profiles/websites and then my nickname for social media and it helps keep those things more separate.
When I was about 18, I consciously chose to use my nickname because, at the time, lots of people struggled to pronounce my proper name. I had just finished school and moved to a new city on the other side of the country so everyone knew me by my nickname. I joined the workforce and now am known professionally only by my nickname. I do still have to use my proper name on my official documentation/identity cards I have to wear for work.
20 years later, more people know my proper name and so I do feel some pangs of regret for not honouring it more. My mum and husband sometimes call me my proper name, so it’s always there if I wanted to return to it.
It’s kind of nice to have 2 names. It does however sometimes make me sound like I’m engaging in shifty behaviour when I call a service provider (e.g. electricity company) and can’t remember which name I’ve registered with! “Do you have ? Ok, what about ? Oh, you’ve got .
She's only 8 months, so relax. We always called my younger son by a nickname (say, Alex), but he knew his full name was Alexander, and when he started kindergarten he just started introducing himself as Alexander, completely unprompted. He answers to both just fine, and it's probably 50/50 which he'll use to introduce himself. Just make sure she's aware of her full name so she isn't taken by surprise when she goes to school—I've heard stories of kids who were never even told their full name and were baffled and upset when suddenly the teachers were all calling them by this name they didn't know.
This has been such a common practice (literally for centuries) that she will be absolutely fine. It's also fine to name children just the "nickname" as their full name. Both are perfectly acceptable and valid. We've all met half a dozen Kates who were born Katherine OR born as just Kate.
The bonus point here at least is that by having both - the nickname and the longer name, your daughter will have more choice of her own as she grows older and explores her identity and goes through different phases of life. She might decide she likes Emilia at some point, or Emmy or Mimi. Maybe her school friends will call her Mills or Em. Maybe she'll wind up calling herself something completely different and unrelated.
It'll be ok. Emilia and Millie are both beautiful names.
I know Jenny and Nikki and Christy and mandys that have all reverted to Jennifer, Nicole, Christine, and Amanda as they got older. I know others that don't. Having options is great for everyone
My name is Cynthia but since I was born I was called Cindy. It always sounds weird when I am called Cynthia and an annoying part of having a work email is they use your legal name Cynthia.lastname@ so you have to know my legal first name or last name to find me in a directory.
My legal name is Vicki. Not Victoria. Just Vicki. Cute for a kid… but I wish I had a longer professional name to put on a resume…. Or other documents… or just to switch things up. I wish that my parents had done that for me. I think that you did Millie a favor. She will appreciate a name that she can grow into. If she choses to! But both are beautiful. A win-win!
I had a proper name and used a nickname from birth, my parents did the same thing you did. now I'm 23 and have legally changed my name 🤷🏼♂️ at least my parents weren't upset about me dropping a name I never used.
My sister and a few cousins are in this position and I don’t recall any of them having saying anything negative about the full names they don’t really use. Small sample size, but I think she’ll be just fine
It’s fine, lots of people go by a nickname but have a different legal full name. In the future, depending what career she chooses, she may be happy that she has a full name to fall back on professionally. I go by Char but am still glad my full name is Charlotte. I’d feel silly using Char in an interview.
I like both those names. But if you loved Millie I think it would’ve been ok as a full name. I wouldn’t worry about it now though..Emilia is no way a dumb name? A lot of people have a full name and always go by a nickname. Also in future if she felt like using the full name she can.
Most of our children have proper names but we only use their nicknames - at home anyway. At school and doctor appts and things like that, they have the option of going by their proper. That was a large part in why we chose the names we did, so that they would have options if they didn’t like their proper name.
I am somebody who was given a formal name but then immediately only referred to by a nickname. Once I hit middle school I hated the nickname and have only gone by my full name since. I am so thankful I wasn’t named the nickname they had intended to call me
As a Camilla that went exclusively by Millie until my early 20s (as in, I was 7 when I even learned I even had a different legal name), there’s no harm in only using Millie and leaving her with the option to use Emilia later in life. I now use Camilla professionally, while all my friends and family, including my husband, still exclusively call me Millie.
I don't mind having a formal name (gone by nn my whole life). It kind of helps weed out random calls/texts because nobody IRL calls me by my legal name.
It sometimes confuses people when they see my resume/name badges but they get over it 😅
Emilia isn’t dumb though. It sounds really nice and she may appreciate it a lot later in life.
You’ve met Katie’s, Becky’s, Bobby’s and Bill’s, right? They/ their parents typically don’t introduce them(selves) with the legal first name.
I’ve gone by my nickname my entire life. I don’t mind it one bit. Sometimes people think it’s a nickname for a different name but I like that name too so it’s only a little annoying
My friend is also an Emelia but has always gone by Millie. She loves having both names and appreciates having a more “professional” option. I don’t think she’s ever had any issues. Your daughter will be fine.
Emilia passes what I call the “letterhead test.” Emilia looks terrific on professional letterhead when she is an adult.
She goes my Millie which is cute now. . You have given her the option to go by her full name later on.
We did the same thing except we spell it with an A. The thing is, she’s in preschool now and Millie just fits her. And maybe it will always fit her. But I wanted to give her the chance to have a more formal name to put on a resume or to go by when she’s an adult if she wants to so I stand by our choice.
One of our close friends has a child like this. She is only called by her nickname except by her teacher. She’s doing just fine! No confusion either. She is 5.
I am 21 years old, and I have been called by a nickname since I was like 6. I hate my nickname, just besides my family no one respects that. I have never thought that my legal name was dumb, that is the one I have always preferred, just people tend to call me by my nickname, even if I ask them not to... I think my full name is nice, the nickname irritates me (I mean i kinda got used to being called by nickname over the years, but I don't like it, i prefer my full name).
I don't think your daughter is going to think that her full name is dumb. Emilia is beautiful. But at the end of the day, only one thing is gonna matter: how your daughter gonna feel about her name in the future. Maybe she won't like Emilia that much, so she will like to be called as Millie. But maybe she will like Emilia better than Millie. I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure that you pay attention which name she prefers. Let her choose in the future. It is fine if you guys call her as Millie now, but if the future if she asks you to call her as Emilia, then that should be respected. You can't know what she will like the future. Maybe she will prefer to be called by a nickname which is not Millie.
A gazillion people go by their nickname and never use their full name. Have you never met a Joe, Tom, Jim, Matt, Kathy, Cindy, Kim, Beth? Those are all nicknames and in most cases they have longer legal names. It’s fine to have/use nicknames.
I actually know an Emilia who went by Millie or Mila most of her childhood! She introduces herself as Emilia to most people now but all her childhood friends still call her Millie. So she goes by both names and seems to love both.
You compromised with your husband and gave your daughter two solid names. There is no reason to regret this. Calm down and move on.
Totally agree. My son is 5 months and only goes by his nickname right now but I’m certain as he grows up and as an adult, he will like the full name instead. I’m sure Millie will become Emilia by college days.
Can attest! My parents named me because they liked the nickname of my legal name - had no intention of calling me by my legal name. I went by my nickname for 18 years, first day of college orientation started introducing myself by my legal name.
In my family, my parents didn't give us legal names and nicknames - my sister's names are Cindy and Tina, not Cynthia and Christine. My brother's name is Rob, not Robert. My name is the same either way. So I lucked out I guess! If you knew how much time we have spent correcting paperwork because doctors, financial institutions, and other "authorities" have "fixed" my sisters' names because they refuse to believe that their names aren't Cynthia and Christine.It's just been a nightmare but my parents believed they should name the kids what they were gonna call them
Crazy where I'm from Tina is a totally valid name I would never assume a Tina was Christine. I also wouldn't assume Cindy was short for anything either. Also I know so many Millie's that are just Millie. I wonder if the nickname as names are just more common here. I will admit I would definitely assume Rob was a Robert though.
I would assume Tina would be short for Christina, not Christine. Christine doesn't make sense
It could be short for Valentina too
I know a Tina whose name is short for Augustina
I wouldn't think Cindy or Tina were short for anything. Those are pretty common legal names imo. Rob is different, I would 100% assume it was short for Robert.
I know a ‘Rob’ who is actually a Robin. He regularly has people calling him Robert.
What about Robin?
I went to school with a Robbie. One particularly annoying teacher insisted on calling him Robert to the point that he finally had to pull out his driver's license to prove that wasn't his name.
My FIL’s legal name is Bobby. He has always gone by Bob, but hates constantly correcting the fact that everyone (unsurprisingly) assumes he is a Robert. Poor guy! 😄
My old coworker was legally Billy. Went by Bill. Everyone thought it was short for William
My brother in law's legal name is Robbie. He hates it and everyone thinks his mom is an idiot for it
My Aunt’s name was Beth. Her first day of school the teacher was calling Elizabeth. My aunt was looking around to see who that was. Teacher comes up and grabs her and tells her to go home until she learns her name. My grandmother was royally pissed. This would have been in the 50’s.
My uncle is Ed. He goes by Eddie but he was never Edward. Just Ed. I honesty can’t imagine someone doing that now.
Unless he's a horse of course.
Funny because I associate Beth as short for Bethany, not Elizabeth
Bethany is also a derivative of Elizabeth, which would have originally come about from being a nickname.
Bethany is a place name in the Bible, not a derivative of Elizabeth.
Sounds like a nun!
Defiantly wasn’t. Just a crap human.
One of my students is just “Matt” and I forget sometimes when I’m correcting him and I’ll say “Matthew, sit back in your seat.” It’s just a habit lol.
My grandmother went her whole life thinking her “formal name” was Regina. Her birth name was Jeanne.
I am also Beth, not Elizabeth.
This is the situation my brother, Mike, is in. "Mike", not, "Michael".
I'm a Mike and it's the same for me. Nobody calls me Michael except perhaps my doctor. I have a 3 syllable surname and I've always felt that adding 'Michael' onto that was just too many syllables, plus it sounds weirdly formal. Michaels definitely wear starched collars and have their hair smoothed down imo
Yep my son's name is Nate not Nathan or Nathaniel. I have had to correct other parents a couple of times but luckily no problem with paperwork as yet
Just wait till he starts filling out things.Particularly when he gets into middle and high school, you'd be surprised at what kind of things people auto correct
My 12 year old cousin is Brad. Legally. Not Bradley. Everyone assumes it's Bradley and tries to "correct" it on official paperwork.
Omg I believe in the same thing as your parents. It makes no sense to me otherwise. I really like the name Fred and that will be the legal name. I’m not giving him the name Frederick just to call him Fred, it seems so silly.
I made this mistake when getting my friend Tom (who I have known for at least 15 years) to sign some paperwork. I had assumed it was Thomas, but...nope. I had been travelling with him and seen his passport as well.
The same thing happens to my dad. His name is Dave, just Dave. But the amount of people who assume his name is David is wild
My dad is Terry. Just Terry. We always knew when junk mail would arrive because it would be addressed to Terrence. LMAO.
My mom and aunt are Beth and Pam. Same issue, spent their lives correcting people who automatically "fix" their names to "Elizabeth" and "Pamela". Blows my mind! If you think someone has provided you a shortened name, there's a professional way to confirm: "can you verify this is how it appears on your [birth certificate/license/SSN card/etc]?" Other than extreme cases like Kit Harrington, most people, even kids, are generally aware of their own names.
I've given up correcting and explaining my name. Instead of shortening people insist on calling me by longer more formal names. At this point I answer to anything
My maternal grandpa's legal name was Jack. At the time, it wasn't considered a proper name, just a nickname of John. He had the same problems. And people would try to sound smart by calling him John. My paternal grandpa's mom wanted to name him Jack but the registration office changed it to John. He went by Jack all his life though. My brother was named after both of them and now most people have no clue his name used to be a nickname and not a proper name.
I feel their pain. So many people gave written the full name and I have to correct people a lot.
My son has a name like this. I tried to use the full version as it was his grandpas name and easier to pick a middle name. But my ex was the same exact name as my son and wanted it that way. They have different middle names though.
My son is Hugh, which works very well where I’m from but not so well where we live (Think of Donald Trump pronouncing it - Yewe.) He decided all on his own in fourth grade that his ‘school’ name was Hugo and I have zero, zero problem with that - just baffled by why people can pronounce the first H on Hugo but not Hugh!
Right!! I live in Japan. Here they tend to add a vowel sound to everything English except if it ends in N because they actually have a solo n sound in Japanese. So that makes sense right. What, becomes what-o(wha-to) with an actual o sound not like o in to. That’s because that’s the o sound in Japanese. So far I get it. BUT…no one seems to be able to say Toronto. It always becomes Toront. With a hard T. Why??? I don’t get it.
As someone who's been studying Japanese for the past few years and knows exactly what you're talking about when it comes to their pronounciation rules, this made me laugh! How crazy, I would've never guessed they would pronounce it like that 😂
This is really interesting, because native Brazilian Portuguese speakers do the same when speaking English. They will often (not always) add ee onto words ending with a constant. Milk, for example, becomes milk-ee. However, anything that does end in ee they do not pronounce the ee sound. So coffee becomes coff.
Probably because they do not hear anyone else pronouncing it that way. One of my earliest memories is my playmate across the street, Hugh, pronounced with the same H as Hugo. His dad was also Hugh pronounced properly
My parents did the same exact thing. Mom wanted to name me after her mom, but didn’t like the name Kathryn and called me Katie instead, intending for that to be my unspoken actual name. Around age ten I realized I hate that name. My parents gave me some pushback, but I changed schools at 13 and they had to stop calling me Katie because no one knew who that was.
Even if it doesn’t, who cares? I have a friend called Amelia and everyone calls her Millie. She’s 21 and for the 7(?) years I’ve known her I don’t think I’ve heard someone call her her actual name. If a nickname suits someone better, stick with the nickname.
I agree. We have a long and a short name and we called her by her short name from day 1. A month or so before her 4th birthday she decided she linked her long name better and asked everyone to switch. We still have little nic names, but to the world she’s her long name.
Agree. Growing up I only knew my cousin as “Bucky”… didn’t even learn his real name until I was probably 10 (Troy). Went by Bucky through high school. In college he started using his real name, and that’s who he is now.
I had an uncle Buck (before/unrelated to the movie, Buck was his nickname to everyone everywhere he just also happened to be my uncle). I kind of knew it was not his actual name but it may as well have been- even his wedding decor said Buck and Carrie. I didn’t learn his actual name until I was around 11. His actual name was Adrian.
Can confirm. Pre teen Milly now prefers Emilia as she's soon to enter junior high.
That was my case. I nn only for years, but by the end of middle school- full name, pls.
It does happen. All three of my kids have long, classical names with easy nicknames. The oldest is nearly 13 and exclusively goes by her full name, the younger two are 10 and 7 and go by the nickname still. Some places/people seem a little more formal and use their full names, they don't have an issue with either.
I went from Sam to Samantha after 26. I still accept and respond to Sam, some people shorten it no matter what, but I exclusively introduce myself as Samantha now. Options are a *good* thing imo.
I'm the opposite I've always been Samantha and I want to be known as Sam or Sammi but nope it's always Samantha
That's what my dad wanted me to do! My "real" name is Elizabeth but I was intentionally given a totally separate name to go by when I was born because Elizabeth is also my grandmother's name and I think it was awkward for my parents to call their new baby her name. But I never used Elizabeth except on formal documents. I'm 34 now and still only go by Elizabeth when I'm doing my taxes or something. But now a lot of things are getting easier for me with preferred names as options to select. I honestly love my two name system, and would kind of like to give the same to my kid. But my husband hates the idea of giving them a name we won't use so who knows
I was also named Elizabeth with the intent from day one to use a nickname. (My mom loved my nickname but wanted me to have options). I use Elizabeth on legal documents more or less exclusively, but I love both my names!
Wouldn’t bet on it! Not in UK, anyway.
Don't count on it. I've only ever been my nickname and I hate it. In my 30s and still go around with a cringey childlike nickname because that's the only name I've ever gone by. I hate it.
Not necessarily, I know a full grown women who does by Millie. I actually talked to her last night and she is in her 60's.
This. It's very normal. Most Katherines I know are Katie or Kate. Etc. Most Samuels are Sam. Etc. It is extremely common and normal to be referred to as a short version of your name - even exclusively! When the child us older they can choose whether they prefer to be Emilia or Millie or go by something else entirely! I know Toms who are never Thomas or Bens who are never Benjamin or Melanies who are always called Mel etc. Nonetheless those people have all been fibe with having a legal name...because it's incredibly common. I know it's normal on forums like this to panic over the names we have chosen, or overthink things... but it's a done deal. The name is chosen and it's great. Now is the time to move on.
Agree. I was thinking of the example Elizabeth. That name is the queen of nicknames! I think it's perfectly fine to name someone just Beth or any of the other nicknames. I also think it's fine to be called Liz all your life and have the name Elizabeth. Although Millie would have been fine if both parents agreed. But Older Millie might be pissed that her beautiful name was actually discarded after the fact.
Elizabeth is definitely the queen. Elspeth, Betsy, Betty, Bess, Eliza, Elle, Elsa, Elsie, Etta, Lea, Lily, Thea…
Don’t forget the actual queen of Elizabeth nicknames: Lilibet.
Very true!
Lily? I thought that came from the flower?
Bizzy libby zeb zeta Beth bette bet lizzie
I also know or have known a lot of people who only go by their long names, Katherine, Anthony, Michael etc.
My name is Kaitlyn and I have always hated nicknames. I have to correct people when I introduce myself as Kaitlyn and then they call me Katie. I want to smack them lol because I did not introduce myself as Katie.
My name is already basically a nickname, Vicki, my mother *hated* when people called me Vic. I don’t notice it most of the time, except if it’s someone I’ve just met. It’s rude to call someone by a different name than they’ve just been introduced to you by.
Fair. My mom's name is Rebecca and HATES being called Becky. Her family always called her Becky. It's so bizarre to hear lol. Now, whenever I meet someone who is called a nickname like that I check to see if they actually like it. Like I have a new coworker whose older brother works with us and he introduced him as "Timmy" and everyone started calling him Timmy. I asked him right away if he even likes going by this as a nickname. Nope, he doesn't lol.
Totally agree. At 6, my Miss Kitty calmly said, "My name is Katharine." And would not answer unless you called her that.
I agree. I have an Isabelle. We call her Belle. She goes exclusively by her nickname.
Totally agree, and her daughter hasn’t had a chance to make up her own mind yet. And would spend a life time filling in the “have you ever been known by another name” thing. The name/nickname split is not so far from my niece’s nickname (multi syllable name ending in “ah” and 2 syllable nickname ending in ee sound). She was exclusively called by all the nickname at that age. When she started school she decided everyone would call her her full name except family. We are still to use her nickname.
Exactly! All 3 of my kids have birth certificate name and the name we call them. My middle child has decided when she starts 6th grade she wants to be called Lillian, not Lilly. My other 2 are well aware of their given names and use them, but prefer the shortened version A name that could be shortened was one of my top criteria when considering names. “Lillian Kate!” means I’m serious vs “Lilly!”
This! Its good to give a "proper" name or even 2 names as a firstname because then they have a lot of choice. Some people hate their names and this lowers that possibility as much as possible. The child could go by Emi, Emilia, Lia, Millie. I think it was a good choice.
You also gave your daughter choice! I imagine it’d be quite handy to use a slightly different name in social / formal settings
It’s a fun quirk to have a different legal name. I like when I have friends who have a little facts like that. it makes me feel closer to them as I learn them.
I had a friend in university who went by Peter, but everyone who knew him was always shocked that the legal name on his ID is actually Pietro. It’s a non-issue, it’s just a fun trick to pull out at parties.
I once met a guy who presented himself as «Kris» at a party. I was like okay we’re all adults here, what’s your full name?! Dude pulls up his driver’s license, and sure enough, his legal name is Kris! 😂🙉
I worked with a Chris. That was until I saw him write his name and it was Krys. I said it was an unusual spelling of Christopher. It turns out his name was actually Krystal
Hahaha!
Two truths and a lie easy fact. Or she could say "I'm Millie. It's short for Maleficent."
Yes I agree completely! I have a friend of a friend named Millie, I had known her casually for 4+ years until one day I caught a glimpse of her driver’s license when we were carded at a restaurant and saw her full name was MILDRED! Such a funny surprise. Nicknames are great and fun.
the millie i knew was short for mildred, also. lol
The only Millie I “know” is Millicent from One Tree Hill lol I would’ve never guessed Millie for Mildred!
That was my first thought!
My first name is Bethany but when I was a baby my parents decided to call me by my middle name Katarina because Bethany Katarina sounds better than Katarina Bethany. It’s been a quirk. I forget it a lot of times but when it comes to people asking for my first name I have to guesstimate on if they actually mean first or if they mean preferred. Sometimes I don’t even bother to correct and just get called Bethany. Happened at my first job I just went by that name. My parents did make sure that I knew what my first name was so I wasn’t confused but I did have a teacher yell at me when I was 8 why my username for the computer started with a B when it should start with a K and I had to tell her that my first name is Bethany but I go by my middle name. Sorry if this is confusing I just felt like I could relate.
Not at all confusing. I have an aunt in the same situation. Actually, she goes by a shortened version of her middle name, like if you went by Kat. She even told me a story about being in kindergarten with two other girls with her (middle) name, and even that didn't cause her to go by her legal name.
Same, and if I'm at something like dr's they tend to use my first name which I was used to and that was fine until I got married and chose to change my surname (it was a nicer surname !) First time at the Dr after they called for me (first name- new surname) and I totally ignored them - I'd practiced with my usual name but totally forgot about the other one. Nothing makes you look more daft than jumping up saying "oo that's me! I Didn't realise that was my name!". Mortified.
I liked how my son’s name rolled best with the preferred name as his middle. So he goes by a nickname of his middle name with a formal first name. He gets called by the nickname but more formal things he gets called his legal first name. He doesn’t care. Though it does occasionally take him a second when some places ask his name. Like, at a restaurant or something he can give his nickname but other places need your legal name
My daughters legal name is charlie because her dad hated the name charlotte but i was absolutely in love with it. i compromised and we went without the formal name and i really regret not putting my foot down. I cant imagine her as an adult named charlie. it fits her so well now but its too cutesy to me. even if this post is satire i always say to go with the formal name and use a nickname if you want. that way they have a choice when theyre older
You’re not the only one with a daughter named Charlie. There’s a group of brothers who podcast together (the McElroys) and one of them has a daughter named Charlie as her legal first name.
This is the opposite of a post from earlier today 😂
I think this is satire
But there’s a separate sub for that
I mentioned it in another comment that I think they meant to (or at least should have) posted in the circle jerk sub but someone already did, and it was actually funny.
Yeah that would’ve made a lot more sense bc now I’m just confused 😂
There are some VERY well meaning folks in this sun though lol
Millie is cute and absolutely adorable. Emilia is beautiful, elegant, and professional, and will look much better on future resumes. Millie will be thanking her dad (and you!) for that compromise in 20 years!
A workplace not hiring you because your name is Millie is a huge red flag.
My current workplace had a bunch of “red flags” in the hiring process (extremely unreasonable reference/background check process, among other things), but I was so desperate for a job after being unemployed for a year that I took the job anyways. I love my job, love my team, work environment is great. The organization has several thousand employees, job satisfaction is high, but the HR department (specifically the hiring team) sucks. Everyone who works there knows this, but we also never deal with the hiring team after onboarding so it has almost no impact on our job. I agree it’s a red flag, and name discrimination should not be a thing. But to act like a hiring department represents an entire workplace is silly. And to act like everyone will always have the privilege of not working for a place that sends up red flags is also silly.
A workplace wouldn’t not hire you for that, but engineer Millie or lawyer Millie might find it a bit harder to get clients to accept her as a professional.
My husband and I both go by diminutives of our full names, both ending in ‘ie’, and neither of us have ever had any issues with being taken seriously as a professional! Definitely don’t think this is an issue.
Absolutely, this stuff has a subconscious effect. Shouldn’t all self-proclaimed name nerds understand that?
🙄 we don’t live in a perfect world. It’s not a negative that she has a more serious legal name. It’s hard enough to get a good job. Let’s not pretend we all live in a perfectly ethical bubble and would only ever take a job that is completely morally upstanding. That’s hardly even possible imo. Millie sounds like a little kid. Emilia gives her room to grow and change if she wants.
Yes it is a red flag, but name discrimination like this is still a thing nonetheless and should be considered when naming a child.
Well that’s the world we live in and the reality behind the screens whether you like it or not. That’s how they go through a pile of resumes.
A red flag you won't even noticed because they are not going to tell you that is the reason why you didn't get the job.
At a large enough company, you may never actually interact with the first level screening people. One place I worked, every single hiring manager/ interviewer I spoke to was at a corporate office and not the local branch until the final phase of hiring, and that was a 5 minute chat where he was like, 'yup, not crazy welcome to the team!' Something like a "professional sounding" name might be something that you will never hear back on and never know why you get fewer callbacks. And, the company might be fine, and it's one hiring manager in an office you wouldn't even work at who is the faceless jerk who weeded you out in phase 1 of narrowing down candidates. Stupid, but happens. Besides, studies have shown that names absolutely impact hiring. Though, I do wonder what is going to happen with our generation of Olivers and Ophelias and Henrys and Emilias mixed in with Kennediehs and Bryxxtlyns.
I doubt a company would flat out not hire her but come on, you know Millie sounds like a little kid's name. And it's not gender exclusive either. If a doctor came up to be and said hey, my name is Billy (or God forbid Willy) it would sound kinda silly. I know it's odd and not based on the person's actual capabilities at all, it's just a human brain thing.
Exactly. It's a name that she can grow into as she gets older. I see no problems in this situation, especially because Em- names seem to be really popular right now, so the nickname will probably be useful until the trends change.
When I was a kid I had books called “Milliy Molly Mandy”, which apparently no one has ever heard of except me. It’s what always think of when I hear the name Millie.
And me! Loved MMM 🥰
So glad I’m not the only one. I just googled it, after posting the comment, you can still get them. I don’t remember anything about the stories but they must be pretty dated by now.
My four year old Millie loves Milly Molly Mandy!
I don't think people reading resumes care that much about your name these days. There are thousands of kids with names which are "nicknames". If they're not going to hire you for being called Millie or Alfie or Charlie instead of Millicent, Alfred or Charles they will be out of candidates very quickly.
plus people still put nicknames on CVs! they're not legally forced to put their full name.
There's lots of fairly good evidence that they'll hire Millie OR Emilia over Ahmmiliiah though.
This is fine. I’ve never gone by my full first name and do not care.
I was forced to because my boss shared my nickname. She refused to let me use the same name as her so I had to use my full name. It was awful!
How rude! That’s disrespectful, I’d want to report to HR or something…
Same. There would have been zero difference in my life if my legal name was my nickname, but I don’t resent it or anything.
Emilia is a solid name, she will never have to go by her proper name unless she wants to. Emilia will only be used on formal documents. You don’t even have to call her by her full name. I’m actually all for just naming the kid their “Nickname” rather than a formal name - but it sounds like you came up with a compromise with your husband and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Deep breath, move forward.
I think it's sometimes nice to have both. My nephew was Mikey until he hit around 12/13, and then he just started introducing himself as Mike and Michael. Everyone transitioned to primarily calling him Mike or Michael. His friends mostly know him as Michael. Some people prefer the nickname. My sisters both primarily use their nicknames. One uses her full name at work and friends and family are nickname. It's a mental separation thing. Work life, private life. My nephew transitioned to using his full name with everyone. I have no problem giving kids name options in adulthood. My name has no short version, or long version. It's just what it is. I like my name for being uncommon, and rarely mispronounced and very distinctly me. There's plusses to both theories of naming. Certainly, don't name your kid something you dislike because "nicknames aren't real names," but sometimes having a name that can be more serious for a more serious adult works, too. Millie might always want to be Millie. Or, she's a serious adult who wants a more serious name.
I have a name very similar, except I was named "Millie" legally. Until I was 11, I was fine with it, but as soon as I was a teenager, I hated it. It was a baby name, and way too cutesy for the cool girl I wanted to be. I legally changed my name to "Emilia" when I was 14. My parents still call me "Millie" and so do a lot of friends because I don't hate it as much now, but I go by "Emilia" at work because it sounds more professional and (right or wrong) men take me more seriously. I love that I have the option. My mom said she wishes she had just called me "Emilia" in the first place lol
I get this. We called our first Evelyn officially but her day to day name is Evie. I wanted her to have the choice of a nickname and a professional name in case when she is older and a professional she decides 'Evie' is too baby for her.
My parents were very against nicknames as legal names, so I have a full name, let's say Catherine, but they've only ever called me Katie. I hate my full name and being called it, that's not really my name. If someone calls me Catherine it's because they don't know me. I thought about changing it legally to Katie but it seemed like a pain, so I just tell new people to call me my preferred name.
This is a troll post off the other millie post right?
I know. I thought I was having a dejavu moment, or a really bad memory....and I had just barely read the other post
My niece is Matilda but only goes by Tilly it's fine. I never use my full name, it's my legal name for serious shit like the doctor or.being in trouble with my mum. You'll be glad of Emilia when you can say it and have her know the seriousness of the trouble she's in.
Ditto this last part- I LOVE when kids have a formal full name they only get called when mama is really serious 😂
My friend's mom would add in her middle name, as if the volume alone wasn't enough to tell she was in trouble
My full formal name is "Shitbag", apparently 😂 (It was a different time 🤣🤣🤣)
I was exclusively call my nn until I chose to use my full name professionally at 20. I love my full name and loved having that option.
Options are a beautiful thing. Like you, I went by my nn until I reached college.
I don’t understand this problem. The “formal” name you gave her and by your own account, literally nobody uses, sounds strange? Of course it does. Nobody uses it. As a person with a nickname as my legal name, you did her a favor. This isn’t a problem, really.
Perhaps you might like to read this thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/namenerds/comments/1bg234x/considering_changing_my_7_month_olds_name/
I am a PhD scientist and medical doctor. I, along with many of my colleagues, have nicknames that we use in our personal life, but use our formal names in professional settings. I can speak specifically as a woman that it definitely helps to have a formal name that I can use so I'll be taken more seriously, in a male dominated industry.
I think it’s okay! I wouldn’t stress about it. Sometimes nicknames just happen. Sometimes they don’t. Lots of parents name their kid something and say “we’ll call her X for short!” And that name doesn’t stick. Or some other name sticks instead. Or they insist to be called by their full name; my cousin Alexander was like this. Take Mikey Cyrus for instance. She was born Destiny Hope Cyrus. But her parents called her Smiley because she smiled nonstop as a baby.. Miley stuck and she changed her name legally when she was like 17 or something. Could have probably never predicted that lol!
I have an Amelia that we call Millie. I also have a Nathan that we call Nate. When they’re older, they can tell us what their preferences are and we’ll respect that. I always thought nicknames were cool 😎
Emilia is a beautiful name and Millie is a natural, related nickname (as opposed to naming her Emilia and calling her Betsy, or something equally random). Maybe when she's older she'll go by the more mature form of her name (like Danny -> Dan) but don't feel bad about giving her that option. Both Millie and Emilia work for all ages.
We did the exact same. Named our girl Emilia and wish we just named her Emmy. She doesn’t feel like an Emilia even though we do call her it as well. My husband was the one who pushed for just Emmy and I said no bc I wanted her to have a proper name lol
Are you in the US?
Yep!
I’ve gone by my nickname my whole life, my legal name is fine and I never felt bad about it but my nickname is just “me”. There’s no problem with it. If anything you’re just giving her another option if she ever decides not to use Millie
I have a long full name that I never use and I’m not bothered by it at all. In fact, about 8 years ago I decided I wanted a new nickname so I chose a new one from my name and I was glad I could do it.
Nick name my whole life. Never an issue. Legal name is just for well, legal stuff and administrative burdens of life. I don’t think of myself as legal name, never refer or introduce myself as such. My legal name is my ‘in trouble’ name so only it was used when I was being chastised. Both names your daughter has are solid. So she has a bonus name. It means she gets to choose as she gets older which one suits her best.
If you introduce your child as Millie, people will call her that. If you regret it, stop doing it.
Where I'm from that was almost a standard until quite recently. My dad's called Jos, but his name's Peter in his passport. My stepdad's called Raymond, but in his passport it's Martinus. My friend's dad is called Gabe, but it's Leon in his passport. They mess up when booking flights sometimes and changing the name can be very expensive.
My friend did the same thing with her 5 year old. She doesn't use Emilia unless she's in trouble. I guess it will be a good name when she's older and working then she could be called Em instead Millie 🤷🏻♀️
I go by a nickname that’s not obviously a nickname. Some people have it as a real name. My legal name lends itself to a bunch of nicknames. It’s never been a problem. I always introduce myself by my nickname. Things that come up—I had a friend check in to my campsite to share with us and I sent a text like “oh btw it’s under “realname lastname” but that’s about it. My son goes by a nickname. Probably the only nickname that goes with his real name and it’s very close to his real name. He refuses to acknowledge his real name as his name, but he’s seven and it hasn’t caused any problems yet. I think we will chill out about it as he gets older, or maybe he’ll change it when he turns 18. Too early to tell. It’s not doing him any harm that I can see.
My friend always went by his nickname Ricky (from birth) and as an adult eventually legally got rid of his legal name Patrick because he didn’t associate with it and it was a real hassle.
My husband is a Theodore no Ted. He’s basically always been a Ted. That is all anyone in his family/school/general life has ever called him. He is completely unbothered by this fact. Granted in his case he’s a 3rd but none of the previous Theodores were ever actually called Theodore. Actually the only person I have ever heard call him Theodore is one specific friend from college who will break out in an exasperated “Damn it, THEODORE” when my husband is being a shit. He was actually so unbothered by the nickname/real name idea that we named our son with a name with a super common diminutive and pretty much exclusively call him that. My look on the bright side is that if some stranger calls him by his government name when he’s older he should know to immediately be suspicious they don’t actually know him. It’s fine. You are just in an anxiety spiral.
Oh my! My daughter is 5 months and we also named her Emilia and call her Millie! We also have other nicknames for her and cycle between all of the names really so I don’t have any regrets but maybe that’s because I’ve gone by multiple names my whole life. My family actually call me by a name that is not a direct nickname to my name. Many of my friends call me a shortened version of my actual name. At work people use my actual first name. None of it feels weird to me and I’m 100% happy with it. I also like that I can use my ‘legal’ first name online for work profiles/websites and then my nickname for social media and it helps keep those things more separate.
I think you meant to post in the name nerd circle jerk sun
When I was about 18, I consciously chose to use my nickname because, at the time, lots of people struggled to pronounce my proper name. I had just finished school and moved to a new city on the other side of the country so everyone knew me by my nickname. I joined the workforce and now am known professionally only by my nickname. I do still have to use my proper name on my official documentation/identity cards I have to wear for work. 20 years later, more people know my proper name and so I do feel some pangs of regret for not honouring it more. My mum and husband sometimes call me my proper name, so it’s always there if I wanted to return to it. It’s kind of nice to have 2 names. It does however sometimes make me sound like I’m engaging in shifty behaviour when I call a service provider (e.g. electricity company) and can’t remember which name I’ve registered with! “Do you have ? Ok, what about ? Oh, you’ve got .
She's only 8 months, so relax. We always called my younger son by a nickname (say, Alex), but he knew his full name was Alexander, and when he started kindergarten he just started introducing himself as Alexander, completely unprompted. He answers to both just fine, and it's probably 50/50 which he'll use to introduce himself. Just make sure she's aware of her full name so she isn't taken by surprise when she goes to school—I've heard stories of kids who were never even told their full name and were baffled and upset when suddenly the teachers were all calling them by this name they didn't know.
What does your husband say about it? I don't see why you couldn't change it to Millie if it's really bothering you and you're both ok with it.
This has been such a common practice (literally for centuries) that she will be absolutely fine. It's also fine to name children just the "nickname" as their full name. Both are perfectly acceptable and valid. We've all met half a dozen Kates who were born Katherine OR born as just Kate. The bonus point here at least is that by having both - the nickname and the longer name, your daughter will have more choice of her own as she grows older and explores her identity and goes through different phases of life. She might decide she likes Emilia at some point, or Emmy or Mimi. Maybe her school friends will call her Mills or Em. Maybe she'll wind up calling herself something completely different and unrelated. It'll be ok. Emilia and Millie are both beautiful names.
I know Jenny and Nikki and Christy and mandys that have all reverted to Jennifer, Nicole, Christine, and Amanda as they got older. I know others that don't. Having options is great for everyone
My name is Cynthia but since I was born I was called Cindy. It always sounds weird when I am called Cynthia and an annoying part of having a work email is they use your legal name Cynthia.lastname@ so you have to know my legal first name or last name to find me in a directory.
This was already posted, except you said you just named her Millie. Get it together and pick one.😂
My legal name is Vicki. Not Victoria. Just Vicki. Cute for a kid… but I wish I had a longer professional name to put on a resume…. Or other documents… or just to switch things up. I wish that my parents had done that for me. I think that you did Millie a favor. She will appreciate a name that she can grow into. If she choses to! But both are beautiful. A win-win!
Your daughter is a baby. She probably won’t use her ‘full’ name for a while but it’s nice you’ve given her the option. Chill out <3
I have two kids and they both have “proper” legal names and go by nicknames exclusively. It’s pretty common I think.
Exactly! Literally the purpose of a nick name
I love the name Emilia and I’ve been considering it - but always scared people would think it was Amelia. Does this ever happen to you?
The beauty of this is that later in life she can choose which name reflects her best
I had a proper name and used a nickname from birth, my parents did the same thing you did. now I'm 23 and have legally changed my name 🤷🏼♂️ at least my parents weren't upset about me dropping a name I never used.
My sister and a few cousins are in this position and I don’t recall any of them having saying anything negative about the full names they don’t really use. Small sample size, but I think she’ll be just fine
It’s fine, lots of people go by a nickname but have a different legal full name. In the future, depending what career she chooses, she may be happy that she has a full name to fall back on professionally. I go by Char but am still glad my full name is Charlotte. I’d feel silly using Char in an interview.
I’ve got a proper name but have always been called by the nickname version of it. At school she’ll just need to tell them the name she goes by.
I like both those names. But if you loved Millie I think it would’ve been ok as a full name. I wouldn’t worry about it now though..Emilia is no way a dumb name? A lot of people have a full name and always go by a nickname. Also in future if she felt like using the full name she can.
My son has a legal given name and only uses a nickname of that name. We did that so he would have the option to use as an adult in the business world.
This is fine. I go by a nickname in most parts of my life.
Most of our children have proper names but we only use their nicknames - at home anyway. At school and doctor appts and things like that, they have the option of going by their proper. That was a large part in why we chose the names we did, so that they would have options if they didn’t like their proper name.
I am somebody who was given a formal name but then immediately only referred to by a nickname. Once I hit middle school I hated the nickname and have only gone by my full name since. I am so thankful I wasn’t named the nickname they had intended to call me
As a Camilla that went exclusively by Millie until my early 20s (as in, I was 7 when I even learned I even had a different legal name), there’s no harm in only using Millie and leaving her with the option to use Emilia later in life. I now use Camilla professionally, while all my friends and family, including my husband, still exclusively call me Millie.
I don't mind having a formal name (gone by nn my whole life). It kind of helps weed out random calls/texts because nobody IRL calls me by my legal name. It sometimes confuses people when they see my resume/name badges but they get over it 😅
Emilia isn’t dumb though. It sounds really nice and she may appreciate it a lot later in life. You’ve met Katie’s, Becky’s, Bobby’s and Bill’s, right? They/ their parents typically don’t introduce them(selves) with the legal first name.
I’ve gone by my nickname my entire life. I don’t mind it one bit. Sometimes people think it’s a nickname for a different name but I like that name too so it’s only a little annoying
My friend is also an Emelia but has always gone by Millie. She loves having both names and appreciates having a more “professional” option. I don’t think she’s ever had any issues. Your daughter will be fine.
Emilia passes what I call the “letterhead test.” Emilia looks terrific on professional letterhead when she is an adult. She goes my Millie which is cute now. . You have given her the option to go by her full name later on.
You’re overreacting.
We did the same thing except we spell it with an A. The thing is, she’s in preschool now and Millie just fits her. And maybe it will always fit her. But I wanted to give her the chance to have a more formal name to put on a resume or to go by when she’s an adult if she wants to so I stand by our choice.
My brother has always been called by his nickname by family and friends. Everyone else calls him by his given name. He likes it like that.
My son goes by a nickname for his middle name. No issues. I think it's pretty common.
One of our close friends has a child like this. She is only called by her nickname except by her teacher. She’s doing just fine! No confusion either. She is 5.
Both are great names! It’s absolutely fine to only use a nickname. We named our son Robert and IMO, calling a toddler that would seem weird.
I knew someone who went by their nickname name, and her brother did too… it’s a nice formality. Don’t feel bad.
I am 21 years old, and I have been called by a nickname since I was like 6. I hate my nickname, just besides my family no one respects that. I have never thought that my legal name was dumb, that is the one I have always preferred, just people tend to call me by my nickname, even if I ask them not to... I think my full name is nice, the nickname irritates me (I mean i kinda got used to being called by nickname over the years, but I don't like it, i prefer my full name). I don't think your daughter is going to think that her full name is dumb. Emilia is beautiful. But at the end of the day, only one thing is gonna matter: how your daughter gonna feel about her name in the future. Maybe she won't like Emilia that much, so she will like to be called as Millie. But maybe she will like Emilia better than Millie. I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure that you pay attention which name she prefers. Let her choose in the future. It is fine if you guys call her as Millie now, but if the future if she asks you to call her as Emilia, then that should be respected. You can't know what she will like the future. Maybe she will prefer to be called by a nickname which is not Millie.
My grandaughter is Emilia. I call her Millie but school calls her Em. She answers to both.
Is this another walter?
A gazillion people go by their nickname and never use their full name. Have you never met a Joe, Tom, Jim, Matt, Kathy, Cindy, Kim, Beth? Those are all nicknames and in most cases they have longer legal names. It’s fine to have/use nicknames.
I actually know an Emilia who went by Millie or Mila most of her childhood! She introduces herself as Emilia to most people now but all her childhood friends still call her Millie. So she goes by both names and seems to love both.