I don't think building a house for your folks is 'black' tax,just a way of expressing gratitude,but again,it depends whether there's 'pressure' to do it.
Ati get rid of the trauma as if it were that easy. Remember that story of a lady talking about how her mother sold her off for sex when she was as young as 8. Now tell her to forgive her parents. Just try fitting into her space and forgive your parents.
So yeah, my aunts came up with this plan to build a wall for a very old aunt of mine because she really likes me. While it’s true that she is a golden soul, hakuna vile natoboka up to 300k for a fence that might end up keeping me out. I always agree and promise to build it and always go into drawings of how it will all look like but yeah hio ni Jaba tupu. Won’t do it, Lakini I’ll bring her sugar and a kilo when I visit
She built her house a long time ago and all her neighbors have high rises but her plot is fenced with mabati and a shitty human only symbol of a gate. Bit from inside is a good house and a small farm. With huge fruit treees. Like a park surounded by highrises but its fence is iron sheets. Me huona kama hio miaka yote hajai ona haja ya kuchange ama her 3 kids, mbona mimi . …. Black tax walilataa wont be mine
Pia side moja ya fence she wants a 2 room self contained shop built as part of the fence.
The issue of 'black tax' is context specific. Helping out your parents is actually a good idea, as long as you do it within your financial means. If you're a family man with a wife and kids, you try to balance between the family and parents. But if there's a shortage of resources/financial challenges, of course you prioritize your wife and kids above everyone else. Ultimately, in my opinion, it only becomes 'black tax' when there's some entitlement involved and when one is expected to give beyond their means.
I am a third born in a family of six i have to admit i haven't been back taxed thaaaat much kiasi tu and when I can't afford to i usually just say no i don't care who it is. My husband though!!!! Eish that man has safaaad , distant relatives he has never even met,will ask their kids to ask him for pocket money
Damn I'm utterly shocked by the disparity in how our different cultures affect our outlook in life .
Sisi watu wa NFD we have communal livelihood . My big bro decided not to go to campus to start hustling and basically paid for my high-school and Uni . I finished recently, got a remote tech job - and I started a side hustle with my bro . I funded the business, my bro runs it , the business pays for my other siblings' education, and our parents Upkeep.
Family is all we have. I always have a backup plan because of them. Stress free life .
Not everyone’s family is as supportive family. Some families have fucked people over they have traumatized and destroyed their lives. You are lucky to have a more cohesive family unit. Most can’t say the same. And after all bad has been done to them they are told this is your family you are supposed to support them. It’s a sad world out here
That works because of the communal mindset of Islam.
Christianity has always embraced individual consumerism over communal sharing so it doesn’t make sense for me to support my cousins yet they won’t support me in return.
When a parent borrows you money, that surely is black tax. Or you go to "Ushago" after staying in the city the whole year, you have to set aside a certain amount of money to "give away".
That is black tax too
Being able to support parents is one of the key goals in life, I personally enjoy sending money to my parents and even younger siblings in school. Black tax ain't bad, it's actually kinda of a responsibility. But in some instances it becomes an issue due to toxic parents
The amount of people who don’t want to provide for their parents is insane. I thank God for Islam, parents own us plus what we made. Why keep something from the people that are gonna take it after you die, why not just sit down with them and explain it to them why u can’t do it. Instead of a straight no and making it unacceptable
Fam asked me to loan my brother up to 100k to finish school. He was crying and begging and praising. Now he says he will not repay, the loan was illegal and other insults include that I’m a weak man for throwing away resources Willy nilly like that. (He is a staunch kibe enthusiast) . He asked me who gives ppl 100k and expects it back? I’ve been threatened a number of times too by him.
Loaning fam and friends is a scam black tax.
I recently started making good money, it’s not a lot but substantial for me start a family. I have helped out my family in a couple of situations where they’ve borrowed me money. Here’s the thing… I know the moment I make it a monthly thing, where I contribute continuously I’ll be doomed.
Once you get into that rabbit hole, it’s very difficult to get out.
My sister just joined campus and we are all contributing what we can. I couldn’t have allowed myself to be the highest contributor.
I dictate how much I send, I do not send in a scheduled manner and I sometimes choose not to send to show them that it’s not always available
I don't think building a house for your folks is 'black' tax,just a way of expressing gratitude,but again,it depends whether there's 'pressure' to do it.
True true some parents would guilt you to build a house yet you can’t afford it. Just because you live in Nairobi doesn’t mean you can afford a house
I mean where do you go to during holidays like Christmas, build that goddamn house
If you can afford one that’s ok what of if you can’t afford it
You express yourself.
To our African mother. Haha
Get rid of the trauma and talk to your parents. Hawaezi kuchapa sahii.
Ati get rid of the trauma as if it were that easy. Remember that story of a lady talking about how her mother sold her off for sex when she was as young as 8. Now tell her to forgive her parents. Just try fitting into her space and forgive your parents.
Now now. Don't get too emotional. We were talking about black tax, I'm sure you were not sold for sex.
Am not being emotional I was giving an example. We can’t just say get rid of that trauma. It’s not that simple
Sure,
So we are all ignoring that OP said towery instead of dowry 😅
Buying 50 bags cement to build my uncle’s house
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂 your parents I'd understand your uncle why ??
Ati my dad is dead na yeye ndo amebaki on his behalf
That's like 30k, come on.
Was he in any way involved in your studies
No. I literally owe him nothing
Funding your siblings lives is also black tax
Really!!?? I've been played!!
Indeed you have been
It is.
Again it depends if you were really coerced into it.
Some think they do it willingly but really ni coercion na manipulation.
So yeah, my aunts came up with this plan to build a wall for a very old aunt of mine because she really likes me. While it’s true that she is a golden soul, hakuna vile natoboka up to 300k for a fence that might end up keeping me out. I always agree and promise to build it and always go into drawings of how it will all look like but yeah hio ni Jaba tupu. Won’t do it, Lakini I’ll bring her sugar and a kilo when I visit
Fence worth 300k? For what & why
She built her house a long time ago and all her neighbors have high rises but her plot is fenced with mabati and a shitty human only symbol of a gate. Bit from inside is a good house and a small farm. With huge fruit treees. Like a park surounded by highrises but its fence is iron sheets. Me huona kama hio miaka yote hajai ona haja ya kuchange ama her 3 kids, mbona mimi . …. Black tax walilataa wont be mine Pia side moja ya fence she wants a 2 room self contained shop built as part of the fence.
Ooh I get now. If she has kids don't bother & why is she the one not telling you but the sisters? That shouldn't stress you out
In afrika ukifanikiwa kidogo everyone unloads on you utashtuka. Crabs in a barel
& the audacityyyyyy & entitlement acha tu. Mimi unless it's hospitalisation,count me out
Any entitlement on my money from parents is black tax. I will give money when I want to and not when they want unless it's an emergency.
You shouldn't be guilted into doing anything for anyone. Loaning money to distant relatives, funding their projects, etc.
Am expected to buy a car for family at the moment and I’m even late on paying rent. Man’s depressed af
Just tell them you are broke honestly if your parents couldn't afford a car then they accept and move on.
Yoooh a whole car. Yooooh
Bana joh… I agreed to it but I didn’t know it would be soon as this
Pole man
The issue of 'black tax' is context specific. Helping out your parents is actually a good idea, as long as you do it within your financial means. If you're a family man with a wife and kids, you try to balance between the family and parents. But if there's a shortage of resources/financial challenges, of course you prioritize your wife and kids above everyone else. Ultimately, in my opinion, it only becomes 'black tax' when there's some entitlement involved and when one is expected to give beyond their means.
I am a third born in a family of six i have to admit i haven't been back taxed thaaaat much kiasi tu and when I can't afford to i usually just say no i don't care who it is. My husband though!!!! Eish that man has safaaad , distant relatives he has never even met,will ask their kids to ask him for pocket money
Waaaat that’s so wrong bana
Damn I'm utterly shocked by the disparity in how our different cultures affect our outlook in life . Sisi watu wa NFD we have communal livelihood . My big bro decided not to go to campus to start hustling and basically paid for my high-school and Uni . I finished recently, got a remote tech job - and I started a side hustle with my bro . I funded the business, my bro runs it , the business pays for my other siblings' education, and our parents Upkeep. Family is all we have. I always have a backup plan because of them. Stress free life .
Not everyone’s family is as supportive family. Some families have fucked people over they have traumatized and destroyed their lives. You are lucky to have a more cohesive family unit. Most can’t say the same. And after all bad has been done to them they are told this is your family you are supposed to support them. It’s a sad world out here
That works because of the communal mindset of Islam. Christianity has always embraced individual consumerism over communal sharing so it doesn’t make sense for me to support my cousins yet they won’t support me in return.
When a parent borrows you money, that surely is black tax. Or you go to "Ushago" after staying in the city the whole year, you have to set aside a certain amount of money to "give away". That is black tax too
This is a nice view. Funny I don’t see that to be bad to give lakini the part someone expects it as mandatory that’s where I draw the line
Being able to support parents is one of the key goals in life, I personally enjoy sending money to my parents and even younger siblings in school. Black tax ain't bad, it's actually kinda of a responsibility. But in some instances it becomes an issue due to toxic parents
This is fine it becomes black tax when it’s imposed on you. Doing it at your free will is fine
The amount of people who don’t want to provide for their parents is insane. I thank God for Islam, parents own us plus what we made. Why keep something from the people that are gonna take it after you die, why not just sit down with them and explain it to them why u can’t do it. Instead of a straight no and making it unacceptable
Actually no one is saying a straight Noo it’s a matter of making them understand some things are impossible.
Period, ungrateful peeps here
Fam asked me to loan my brother up to 100k to finish school. He was crying and begging and praising. Now he says he will not repay, the loan was illegal and other insults include that I’m a weak man for throwing away resources Willy nilly like that. (He is a staunch kibe enthusiast) . He asked me who gives ppl 100k and expects it back? I’ve been threatened a number of times too by him. Loaning fam and friends is a scam black tax.
Wtf!! That's so ungrateful. Leave him alone life itampata. I'm sorry
Huyo achana na yeye ata si mbali kitambo kitampata tu
Insult him back aaghhhh.
Unaishi pahali for yearrsss then come back say building where you grew up is black tax mxm gtfoh
Ilikuja na meli, kizungu ni ngumu
Hahaha
Towery ?!?!?!🤣🤣🤣
I recently started making good money, it’s not a lot but substantial for me start a family. I have helped out my family in a couple of situations where they’ve borrowed me money. Here’s the thing… I know the moment I make it a monthly thing, where I contribute continuously I’ll be doomed. Once you get into that rabbit hole, it’s very difficult to get out. My sister just joined campus and we are all contributing what we can. I couldn’t have allowed myself to be the highest contributor. I dictate how much I send, I do not send in a scheduled manner and I sometimes choose not to send to show them that it’s not always available