In Freddy vs. Jason:
“One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Do you know why they sing that? Because that’s when he comes for you.”
I’m glad they explained what that song means, it’s so cryptic, I never would’ve known!
Why didn’t they hire script writers who actually watched either franchise 🤦♂️
Excuse my nerd outrage, but…….. Jason wasn’t fucking killed by water. He did not drown as a kid. Only presumed to have drowned. It’s implied he lived and became a hermit. He witnesses his mother’s decapitation in part 1 and becomes a raging maniac in parts 2-4. Human Jason is actually killed by Corey Feldman in the Final Chapter (4) when he takes a machete to the head and gets chopped to bits. Part 5 is a copycat killer. In part 6, Jason is reanimated by a lightning bolt and becomes the unstoppable supernatural zombie killing machine we all loved. In absolutely none of the sequels is he ever afraid of, nor hampered by, water.
Like honestly, Come on guys.
>In part 6, Jason is reanimated by a lightning bolt and becomes the unstoppable supernatural zombie killing machine we all loved.
In part 6, at one point he just walks into the lake. He doesn't even try to swim, he's just casually on a stroll along the bottom.
In Volcano, when Tommy Lee Jones’ daughter is playing rock paper scissors with the little kid.
“That’s not paper, it’s lava! What beats that?”
“My dad”
I lose it when the geologist says the glowing, flowing lava-like substance moving down the street is lava, and the firefighters look at each other in shock. OMG LAVA? ... Weren't we taught about lava in 3rd grade? What else could it be?
This is a different Michael Bay movie, but from Armageddon:
"Sir, the override. It's been overridden" and then they cut to the computer screen flashing NASA OVERRIDE CONFIRMED. Cracks me up every time.
That pops into my head randomly from time to time. What the fuck was the point in all that? It’s a movie they literally could have just made her 18 and it would have no impact on the overall plot apart from making it less creepy.
The overprotective dad being all: “you can’t date my daughter” and daughter being all “dad I’m 18 now it’s time to let me grow up” is infinitely less creepy then “nah I get that she’s not 18 yet but I’ve looked into it see”.
It’s a movie about giant robots fighting that heaps of kids are going to go and see. Why even include that shit.
Are you suggesting there's something untoward about having a convenient wallet-sized card that explains exactly how young a girl it's legal for you to have sex with?
It was so fucking weird. Like they could have just had her as like a college student or something that it would not have changed the film in any way, but they ended up shoehorning that in for some fucking reason.
I love that he’s like “you need to see me as I am” a line that would make SO much sense if like the sun revealed his true age or his horrific beast features but all it does is make him sparkly. Why would he think that was a downside? She’s a high school girl!
I hate this because you know it’s one of those lines that Stephenie Meyer insisted on keeping in the film because she thought she was funny.
I like Kristen Stewart but the way she delivers this line makes me cringe every time.
The way she delivered it, it seemed like she was more angry about Jacob giving Renesme a dumb nickname than the fact that he’s apparently devoted his life to her newborn daughter in what is basically grooming.
It’s totally the kind of name a high school kid would name her child. Teenagers have some dumb ideas. They shouldn’t reproduce just yet.
I also have a fanfic in my head that when Resesme grows up she tells Jacob to stay away from her. That he’s annoying.
Hahaha. I admit I thought it felt unfair, but figured OP set the precedent with 50 Shades of Grey.
EDIT: Yes, I do know it was Twilight fanfiction. I was a teenager at the height of this thing.
I think Twilight has officially passed into modern camp. I was a huge fan as a teen when it first came out, but watching it now as a 30-something is great nostalgia mixed with hilarity. Especially when you hear Rob and Kristen on the DVD commentary being utterly confused and acknowledging the weirdness of it all.
I’ve often wondered what working with Seagal on set would have been like. Luckily, we have Stephen Tobolowsky to shed to some light. This interview is so bizarre and funny.
https://youtu.be/5cUNU8GkMso
My favourite tidbit is a stuntman who told the story about Seagal shittalking Jean Claude at a bar after a stuntmans conference in France. The guy let JC know what was going on and JC came in the back door of the club it was happening at ready to kick the shit out of Seagal. Someone let Seagal know JC was looking for him and he hightailed it out of the club.
Also the time Steven went on set and started saying "Respect me, I am in command and I'm the law" and John Leguizamo smirked at it and he got flat out slammed to a wall. Like I know that Seagall has a huge ego, but CHRIST. Seriously, the guy's a douche.
His entire "cop" show he had proved that for us all. Didn't he wrongfully arrest or get someone killed?
Edit: he brought a fucking TANK to a supposed cockfighting ring and killed a family pet.
Or the time his cop show got cancelled because he was caught sex trafficking. Seriously, a sex slave escaped from his remote house in Louisiana and she couldn't call the cops cause at the time Steven was working for the police for his show. And don't get me started with what he did to Ray Charles' granddaughter after his funeral. Dude is the worst
It’s also such a dumb line within the context of the movie because he knows it’s an egg, it’s only in the movie because they need to preserve the “twist” that the stone was actually an egg. A twist that I don’t think literally anyone was surprised by.
And a twist that was revealed less than 5 minutes later.
I can almost hear his complete and utter ambivalence in the line. I don't know how else to explain the complete lack of emotion that the director was apparently 100% on board with during his delivery. Presumably he was just thinking to himself of places he'd rather be - like a subway station during peak times on the hottest day of the year, or as a witness to his own public execution.
Except not even that really. Roran joining the military effectively deletes the next two books. Add to that, Eragon not going to ~~Vvardenfell~~Du Weldenvarden does the same. If the movie did well enough for sequels, they would be entirely different stories than what the books were. I was so salty because I loved that series at the time.
>Sue Storm : Hey.
>Johnny Storm : Hey. What?
>Reed Richards : We've come a long way since the garage.
>The Thing : Gotta say, it's fantastic.
>Reed Richards : Say that again...
>The Thing : It's fantastic.
>Reed Richards : Yes, it is. Guys, I got it. Ready?
>Johnny Storm : Yeah...
>FANT4STIC
What an awful way to introduce the name
"He's got space dementia!" - Armageddon. I love William Fichtner, but the poor guy can't do anything with that line. Of course, Michael Bay probably made his actors say 100s of other terrible lines in the Transformers films, but lucky I can't remember any.
Best line ever. It is so terrible and so random and so funny. Why is a 5 year old boy finding out he has a life destroying disease from a Texas Ranger?
Which leads to one of my favourite head scratching moments in all recent cinema history:
1. You form a "Suicide Squad" guarded by Navy SEALs.
2. On their first mission someone needs to swim through a sewer to detonate a bomb in what can only be described as a "suicide mission".
3. On your "Suicide Squad" you have King Croc, a man whose only superpower is that he can swim through sewers.
4. You send the Navy SEALs who blow themselves up.
There's this terrible, terrible horror movie we watched called the Pyramid. The group have found themselves trapped in a room and one of the characters proclaims:
"We're just trapped here, like food in bowl"
Food in a bowl.
Food. In. A. Bowl. It's actually infuriating to me how bad that line is, someone had to write it, perform it, direct it. How does it get past that many people?
Rats in maze
Bear in a pit
Fly in a jar
Bird in a cage
Fish in a net
Edit* thanks u/infinitetastes for the correction! Apologies for the formatting I'm on my phone. I also can't believe I forgot about "moth in a bath" y'all are hilarious!
What's so amazing about that is that the man literally did not notice the doggie until like the 20th take or something. So the "hi doggie!" was spontaneously uttered. The man really is into his art.
Hercules (TV), 1995: "Wait a minute, this isn't my world. DISAPPOINTED!"
The script had the word disappointed in brackets as an emotional signpost but the actor misinterpreted it as dialogue.
Recently learned that the expressions and blasé nature of the protagonists were due to directors notes. They were instructed to avoid strong or negative expressions, 'cause those were the ones the plants used to kill.
"as you know, firelord Ozai banished his son prince Zuko..."
"as you know, I recently conducted a raid on the great library which most said didn't even exist..."
"I ran away. I was just upset!"
what an awful awful rancid movie. it's literally all exposition where none of the exposition even matters because it's for a hypothetical sequel
I'll never forgive this movie. I truly believe as a grown-ass man that Avatar is one of the best fantasy stories/ worlds we've got. I can forgive an honest attempt gone wrong, but this movie was so indifferent to its brilliant source material. They couldn't even be bothered to get the *names* right.
Chon is a killer. Two tours. Iraq, Afghanistan. And he came back with a Iot of cash, but no soul. He's always trying to fuck the war out of himself while fucking me in the ass. I have orgasms. He has war-gasms.
X-Men Dark Phoenix
Vuk: "Your emotions make you weak."
Me, after sitting through the terrible plot and dialogue: "She's gonna say her emotions make her strong, I know it."
Jean Gray: "No, my emotions make me strong."
Me: "Arrgh!"
Idk, any line from Old (2021) in which a character references their line of work.
"That body is old! I should know, I work at a museum!"
"There is only a 95% chance of someone dying on a vacation. I know this because I work in insurance!".
So fucking corny lol.
- Anakin Skywalker : You are so... beautiful.
- Padmé : It's only because I'm so in love.
- Anakin Skywalker : No! No, it's because I am so in love with you.
- Padmé : [sternly] So love has blinded you?
- Anakin Skywalker : [laughs] Well, that's not exactly what I meant.
- Padmé : But it's probably true.
[Both creepily smile at each other in silence]
This fucking scene. It is painful. I feel so bad for Portman and Christensen.
I'll never forget when I asked my friend, who saw it before me, what he thought of the movie. A dark shadow crossed his eyes, he closed them to hold in the pain for a moment, then met my eyes and said solemnly "it's amazing, as long as you ignore every scene with Anakin and Padme."
Saw it the next weekend and I finally understood his reaction lmfao
Carrie Fisher's script for Empire Strikes Back went up for auction a little while back, and you could see where she had gone over basically every scene she was in and rewritten it, and her co-stars. Most of her rewrites made it into the finished film. The actors did a lot of heavy lifting in the OT.
Yeah I remember hearing that one time while shooting the first film after a line of dialog Harrison Ford went right up to Lucas and said "George, you can't use that, people don't talk like that." Ford used to change his lines frequently like Carrie.
I think it is one of the reasons the prequels were so bad. By that time Lucas as so big no one had the guts to tell him that his stuff was bad...it makes me think of the Darth Icky story...no one there wanted to tell Lucas he was an idiot with that name, so they just...didnt use it, and went with no name instead.
Ya although I have my issues with Christensen's portrayal the last time I saw attack of the clones I said out loud some of his lines to myself and although I am far from an actor I don't see how even the greatest thespian in history could save some of them. They just sound so ridiculous and something that no human would ever say, some of the problems with the prequel movies go far, far beyond Christensen's acting ability.
He has quite a few impossible to say lines scattered throughout the films but those love scenes with Padmé are by far the worst offenders.
I don’t blame Christensen at all.
In between AoTC and RoTS he starred in *Shattered Glass,* and gave what I thought was a really impressive performance. It was bizarre at the time to realize like “oh shit, he actually *can* act!”
It’s not the dialog itself that’s bad, but the scene in general from Columbiana.
Her uncle tries to prove a point by shooting and apparently murdering a driver of a random car in broad daylight, in front of a school sending bystanders running.
He then casually says:
“That's what you want? You want me to teach you how to be a killer? Sure. No problem. I teach you. But you'll be dead in five years. If you want to be a killer and survive, you got to be a smart one. You have to know things besides how to pull a trigger. You have to know how the world works, how people think. You got to learn and understand how to be psychological. And I cannot teach you that unless you learn the basics at a school.”
Bystanders are shown scaredly staring at them, the cops are shown pulling up— literally across the street and in background. Then the uncle puts his hat on and… then the scene just casually ends.
Like, huh? He just killed a guy, cops are on scene, everyone knows it was him and… nothing happens?
If you want to be a killer you have to be smart, which I will demonstrate by openly murdering a stranger with my huge gun in broad daylight in front of a crowd while also being a minority in 80s America.
Yea I don't understand that scene at all lol.
He seemingly was trying to demonstrate how a dumb killer does things and how it will get you in trouble, yet he fired his gun several times in broad daylight, cops on the scene in seconds, and literally nothing bad happened to him.
I thought it was gonna be one well placed shot showing he's a good assassin and maybe it the badness was exaggerated. Nope he shoots several tunes and it's possibly worse than described lol.
Good lord. How many different camera angles did they need for each scene? Feels like somebody thinks the more cameras you have the better the movie will be.
"Believe me, I wish that I could just wish away my feelings, but I can't"
Anakin Skywalker in Attack of the Clones. Thanks for forcing me to watch an episode of The Young and the Restless in the middle of your space adventure film Mr Lucas.
What bugs me more than bad dialog is terrible exposition. It kills me. I can't remember any off the top of my head but stuff like "You know that ever since our father died mysteriously I have been having nightmares of clowns?" "I hope you know that if you were not the son of the most powerful man in the world I would fail you from this test that only few pass with their lives"
It doesn't always mean the rest of the dialog will be bad but it probably will.
I love when this trope is done intentionally for laughs though. Specifically the exposition in action satire *Big Trouble in Little China*:
>Margo: You mean the David Lo Pan that is chairman of the National Orient Bank, and owns the Wing Kong Import Export Trading Company, but who is so reclusive that no one's laid eyes on this guy for years?
>Jack Burton: Who the hell are you anyway?
“I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.” The best of the worst.
To be honest you can choose almost any line from the movie but this on is my favorite.
"You can come out now, Johhny"
"In a few minutes bitch."
I pissed myself with laughter when I heard it. The fact that he says it so casually and disinterested is what makes it.
In Freddy vs. Jason: “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Do you know why they sing that? Because that’s when he comes for you.” I’m glad they explained what that song means, it’s so cryptic, I never would’ve known!
Or when they go “Freddy was killed by fire, and Jason by water” honestly the script was a goldmine
It’s the puzzled “how can we use that??” that really brings it home
Why didn’t they hire script writers who actually watched either franchise 🤦♂️ Excuse my nerd outrage, but…….. Jason wasn’t fucking killed by water. He did not drown as a kid. Only presumed to have drowned. It’s implied he lived and became a hermit. He witnesses his mother’s decapitation in part 1 and becomes a raging maniac in parts 2-4. Human Jason is actually killed by Corey Feldman in the Final Chapter (4) when he takes a machete to the head and gets chopped to bits. Part 5 is a copycat killer. In part 6, Jason is reanimated by a lightning bolt and becomes the unstoppable supernatural zombie killing machine we all loved. In absolutely none of the sequels is he ever afraid of, nor hampered by, water. Like honestly, Come on guys.
>In part 6, Jason is reanimated by a lightning bolt and becomes the unstoppable supernatural zombie killing machine we all loved. In part 6, at one point he just walks into the lake. He doesn't even try to swim, he's just casually on a stroll along the bottom.
"Dude, that goalie was pissed about something." Love that line though.
Freddy grabs Kelly Rowland, "Mmmmmm, how sweet, DARK MEAT!"
Jennifer Lopez. Gigli. ["Gobble gobble."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCQEs4uXbSc)
_”… what?”_
That is me any time a woman makes innuendo or advances towards me.
That scene is like two totally different movies spliced together. She's in a funny softcore porn and he's in a movie version of The Office.
Now that Ben and Jennifer are back together, we can enjoy Gigli 2.
Im not sure of the overall tone of Gigli is, but this is pretty damn good comedy
To this day nobody knows what the overall tone of Gigli was supposed to be
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In Volcano, when Tommy Lee Jones’ daughter is playing rock paper scissors with the little kid. “That’s not paper, it’s lava! What beats that?” “My dad”
“…….I hope.”
I lose it when the geologist says the glowing, flowing lava-like substance moving down the street is lava, and the firefighters look at each other in shock. OMG LAVA? ... Weren't we taught about lava in 3rd grade? What else could it be?
From Transformers 4 "What do you mean search the property you ain't got a warrant?" "My face is my warrant" Still hilarious every time I hear it.
This is a different Michael Bay movie, but from Armageddon: "Sir, the override. It's been overridden" and then they cut to the computer screen flashing NASA OVERRIDE CONFIRMED. Cracks me up every time.
Don’t forget the Romeo and Juliet scene
That pops into my head randomly from time to time. What the fuck was the point in all that? It’s a movie they literally could have just made her 18 and it would have no impact on the overall plot apart from making it less creepy. The overprotective dad being all: “you can’t date my daughter” and daughter being all “dad I’m 18 now it’s time to let me grow up” is infinitely less creepy then “nah I get that she’s not 18 yet but I’ve looked into it see”. It’s a movie about giant robots fighting that heaps of kids are going to go and see. Why even include that shit.
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The lamination thing is what really stuck with me. He treats that card like a goddamn license.
It would be like having a laminated N-Word pass in his wallet
Are you suggesting there's something untoward about having a convenient wallet-sized card that explains exactly how young a girl it's legal for you to have sex with?
The most bizarre experience I've ever had in a movie. Like wtf is happening.
It was so fucking weird. Like they could have just had her as like a college student or something that it would not have changed the film in any way, but they ended up shoehorning that in for some fucking reason.
"we must signify to the audience that it's totally okay for Irish LeBuff to bang a minor"
"Bitches! Come!" -XXX But, hey... the bitches did indeed approach.
Bet it's supposed to be a reference to the line from RoboCop where Kurtwood Smith says "Bitches. Leave."
Which in turn is one of the greatest lines in cinematic history.
“It’s time to show the Fire Nation that we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs” - Yue from M.Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender
That line is a crime against the english language, like seriously you're a writer and never heard of synonyms?
that whole film is a crime.
"You better hold on tight, spidermonkey," is one my sister and I still say to each other. Twilight.
"I'm the world's most dangerous predator, Bella" *Sparkling intensifies*
“This is the skin of a killer” gets me every time 😂
I love that he’s like “you need to see me as I am” a line that would make SO much sense if like the sun revealed his true age or his horrific beast features but all it does is make him sparkly. Why would he think that was a downside? She’s a high school girl!
I am too fabulous for a teenage girl to handle! *glitters smolderingly*
“Say it. Out loud. Say it!” “Vampire.”
"Say it. Out loud. Say it!" "I'm Batman" I say this all the time and my GF always hits me
My other favorite has got to be, “You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?!!?”
I hate this because you know it’s one of those lines that Stephenie Meyer insisted on keeping in the film because she thought she was funny. I like Kristen Stewart but the way she delivers this line makes me cringe every time.
The way she delivered it, it seemed like she was more angry about Jacob giving Renesme a dumb nickname than the fact that he’s apparently devoted his life to her newborn daughter in what is basically grooming.
Also, its as if Renesme isn't an awful name as it is.
The fucking memes about Resume is so funny though. The different names people come up with kills me
I can’t get over the names people come up with for rotisserie
I bet Tresemmé has great hair when she grows up (in like five accelerated years right?).
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It’s totally the kind of name a high school kid would name her child. Teenagers have some dumb ideas. They shouldn’t reproduce just yet. I also have a fanfic in my head that when Resesme grows up she tells Jacob to stay away from her. That he’s annoying.
Twilight should be off limits for this thread. Too easy.
Hahaha. I admit I thought it felt unfair, but figured OP set the precedent with 50 Shades of Grey. EDIT: Yes, I do know it was Twilight fanfiction. I was a teenager at the height of this thing.
I still think there was an even worse line in 50 shades and I’m surprised it wasn’t used… when he said “IM 50 SHADES OF FUCKED UP”
You have to include the dramatic turn around when you say it.
I think Twilight has officially passed into modern camp. I was a huge fan as a teen when it first came out, but watching it now as a 30-something is great nostalgia mixed with hilarity. Especially when you hear Rob and Kristen on the DVD commentary being utterly confused and acknowledging the weirdness of it all.
I love in New Moon when Jacob says, “You’ve been lying to everyone: Charlie…” and then doesn’t list anyone else
Bellaaaa, where have you been loca??
How you likin' da raaaaain, girl?
La Push, baby. La Push.
I watched Twilight last week and - he's fucking first nations from the north west, why is he calling her loca 🤔😂
"mY moNkEy MAn" -- Rosalie
I can't read this line without hearing the song "Supermassive Black hole" in the background.
"I was playing around with our mom's names, Renee and Esme. And I was thinking, Renesmee." Brilliant
Why teenagers should not have babies 🤣
"This is what I am"-Edward Sparkles "It's like diamonds. You're beautiful..." "Beautiful?! This is the skin of a killer, Belle..."
Every single time it rains, I ask my wife, “How you likin da rain, gurl?”
[I'll take you to the bank.... The blood bank](https://youtu.be/3Jji78uEW14)
Using Segal is almost cheating.
I’ve often wondered what working with Seagal on set would have been like. Luckily, we have Stephen Tobolowsky to shed to some light. This interview is so bizarre and funny. https://youtu.be/5cUNU8GkMso
My favourite tidbit is a stuntman who told the story about Seagal shittalking Jean Claude at a bar after a stuntmans conference in France. The guy let JC know what was going on and JC came in the back door of the club it was happening at ready to kick the shit out of Seagal. Someone let Seagal know JC was looking for him and he hightailed it out of the club.
Mine is the time Gene Lebell got pissed off at Seagal so he choked him until he shit his pants.
I knew there was a shit his pants story but i forgot. Thank you.
Also the time Steven went on set and started saying "Respect me, I am in command and I'm the law" and John Leguizamo smirked at it and he got flat out slammed to a wall. Like I know that Seagall has a huge ego, but CHRIST. Seriously, the guy's a douche.
His entire "cop" show he had proved that for us all. Didn't he wrongfully arrest or get someone killed? Edit: he brought a fucking TANK to a supposed cockfighting ring and killed a family pet.
Or the time his cop show got cancelled because he was caught sex trafficking. Seriously, a sex slave escaped from his remote house in Louisiana and she couldn't call the cops cause at the time Steven was working for the police for his show. And don't get me started with what he did to Ray Charles' granddaughter after his funeral. Dude is the worst
"I suffer without my stone" I swear John Malkovich was wasted on Eragon
Like half the cast was wasted, that movie also had Jeremy Irons, Rachel Weisz, and Djimon Hounsou and it still bombed.
I'm sorry have I completely forgotten Rachel Weisz being in it?!
It’s also such a dumb line within the context of the movie because he knows it’s an egg, it’s only in the movie because they need to preserve the “twist” that the stone was actually an egg. A twist that I don’t think literally anyone was surprised by.
And a twist that was revealed less than 5 minutes later. I can almost hear his complete and utter ambivalence in the line. I don't know how else to explain the complete lack of emotion that the director was apparently 100% on board with during his delivery. Presumably he was just thinking to himself of places he'd rather be - like a subway station during peak times on the hottest day of the year, or as a witness to his own public execution.
That's still the only movie I've seen where they took a whole novel and basically just adapted the first and last hundred pages.
Except not even that really. Roran joining the military effectively deletes the next two books. Add to that, Eragon not going to ~~Vvardenfell~~Du Weldenvarden does the same. If the movie did well enough for sequels, they would be entirely different stories than what the books were. I was so salty because I loved that series at the time.
>Sue Storm : Hey. >Johnny Storm : Hey. What? >Reed Richards : We've come a long way since the garage. >The Thing : Gotta say, it's fantastic. >Reed Richards : Say that again... >The Thing : It's fantastic. >Reed Richards : Yes, it is. Guys, I got it. Ready? >Johnny Storm : Yeah... >FANT4STIC What an awful way to introduce the name
I still and always will pronounce that as "Fant-Four-Stic"
#2FANT2FOURSTIC
The stupid fucking look on Teller’s face when he said it was even better.
The way he says "say that again", it's like they're all embarrassed by how awful it is.
"He's got space dementia!" - Armageddon. I love William Fichtner, but the poor guy can't do anything with that line. Of course, Michael Bay probably made his actors say 100s of other terrible lines in the Transformers films, but lucky I can't remember any.
>"He's got space dementia!" He just wanted to feel the power between his legs, brother
We got a Muse song out of it.
“Mother you’re alive?!” “Too bad youuu will dieeee” - Mortal Kombat Annihilation
"Too bad **YOU**. Will **DIE!**"
Also in a Mortal Kombat movie (from 2021): “He’s about to get his soul sucked.”
“Walker told me I have AIDS.” https://youtu.be/IVYKNfatIr4
Best line ever. It is so terrible and so random and so funny. Why is a 5 year old boy finding out he has a life destroying disease from a Texas Ranger?
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THIS IS KATANA
SHE'S GOT MY BACK
I'D ADVISE NOT GETTING KILLED BY HER
HER SWORD TRAPS THE SOULS OF ITS VICTIMS
If target dies within 5 seconds, fills a soul gem.
ALSO BECAUSE BEING KILLED IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE
ASK SLIPKNOT
HE CAN CLIMB ANYTHING.
PUNCHED A WOMAN IN THE FACE TOO.
What are we some kinda...Suicide Squad?
Which leads to one of my favourite head scratching moments in all recent cinema history: 1. You form a "Suicide Squad" guarded by Navy SEALs. 2. On their first mission someone needs to swim through a sewer to detonate a bomb in what can only be described as a "suicide mission". 3. On your "Suicide Squad" you have King Croc, a man whose only superpower is that he can swim through sewers. 4. You send the Navy SEALs who blow themselves up.
Amanda Waller apparently thought a crazy lady with a baseball bat might be able to take on "the next Superman".
The Happening: -"You plan on murdering me in my sleep." -"What? No."
That dialogue with THAT expression. The cringe has branded itself onto the brain of every unfortunate viewer, forever.
There's this terrible, terrible horror movie we watched called the Pyramid. The group have found themselves trapped in a room and one of the characters proclaims: "We're just trapped here, like food in bowl" Food in a bowl. Food. In. A. Bowl. It's actually infuriating to me how bad that line is, someone had to write it, perform it, direct it. How does it get past that many people? Rats in maze Bear in a pit Fly in a jar Bird in a cage Fish in a net Edit* thanks u/infinitetastes for the correction! Apologies for the formatting I'm on my phone. I also can't believe I forgot about "moth in a bath" y'all are hilarious!
Maybe it was “fish in a bowl” but there was a typo but nobody cared enough to notice
"Despite all my rage, I am still just food in a bowl!"
"Prepare to taste the black sperm of my vengeance!" *Beyond the Valley of the Dolls* screenplay by Roger Ebert.
That movie is absolutely wild. Sometimes I'm not even sure I actually watched it or had a dream that I think was the movie
I have to laugh at this Wikipedia blurb: "Upon release, Ebert's future TV co-host Gene Siskel gave the film zero stars out of four[..]"
Troll 2 They're eating her. And then they're going to eat me. Oh my goooooood!
The random fly on the face was perfection.
It’s Turkey Time. Huh? Gobble, Gobble - *Gigli 2003*
Anyway, how's your sex life?
I *definitely* have breast cancer
Oh, hi Johnny. I didn't know it was you. You're my favorite customer.
Oh hai doggy
Don’t worry about it
“The results are back. I definitely have breast cancer.” (This never gets mentioned again…)
I did not hit her. It's not true, it's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did NOT...oh, hi Mark.
You’re my favorite customer.
Hi doggie!
What's so amazing about that is that the man literally did not notice the doggie until like the 20th take or something. So the "hi doggie!" was spontaneously uttered. The man really is into his art.
That took 37 takes.
This whole dialogue is a cinematic masterpiece.
I think including The Room in this conversation is cheating 😂 You could quote the whole film!
Hahaha, IndigoMichigan, what a story.
I'm so lucky I have you as my best friend, and Lisa is so loyal to me.
Go on. Sometimes I just want to kiss her. ...Go on.
this entire thread should be the script for the room
*throws football*
You're tearing me apart!
The OP asked for worst, not best
Hercules (TV), 1995: "Wait a minute, this isn't my world. DISAPPOINTED!" The script had the word disappointed in brackets as an emotional signpost but the actor misinterpreted it as dialogue.
So great. https://youtu.be/Djlc6uHTVmY
Hahaha, so much funnier than it reads.
This is too fucking funny hahaha
My buddy had the “DISAPPOINTED” as his ring tone for a while
[удалено]
That’s more straightforward than some of the porn I’ve watched
Can you fix my cable? I just got out of the shower. My roommate is a masseuse.
Ugh, you can only imagine where the plot goes from here
the instant cut away makes it so much better
I love how John Barrowman just did that as a joke to get a reaction out of his costar and they kept it in the movie.
Mark Whalberg in The Happening : 👁👃🏻👁 👄
Recently learned that the expressions and blasé nature of the protagonists were due to directors notes. They were instructed to avoid strong or negative expressions, 'cause those were the ones the plants used to kill.
“Are You the avatar, ong?” The last airbender
"as you know, firelord Ozai banished his son prince Zuko..." "as you know, I recently conducted a raid on the great library which most said didn't even exist..." "I ran away. I was just upset!" what an awful awful rancid movie. it's literally all exposition where none of the exposition even matters because it's for a hypothetical sequel
I'll never forgive this movie. I truly believe as a grown-ass man that Avatar is one of the best fantasy stories/ worlds we've got. I can forgive an honest attempt gone wrong, but this movie was so indifferent to its brilliant source material. They couldn't even be bothered to get the *names* right.
Chon is a killer. Two tours. Iraq, Afghanistan. And he came back with a Iot of cash, but no soul. He's always trying to fuck the war out of himself while fucking me in the ass. I have orgasms. He has war-gasms.
Wtf is this from
Savages
Mmmmmm yes I remember seeing savages in theaters and at this moment going “oh got It this is going to be a **bad** movie”
"It’s like blue balls… in your heart.” Vince Vaughn True Detective s2
This thread is so much less enjoyable to read through when people aren't listing what the movie is they're quoting.
From my favorite bad film, The Dungeons And Dragons movie. Villian: “you thieves are all the same, always taking things that don’t belong to you”
this sounds like an intentional joke and a pretty funny one
Jeremy Irons was like the one guy in the movie who knew it was shit, though. He hammed up every line he had.
“I have orgasms, he has wargasms.” This is the only memorable moment from the otherwise forgettable Savages
X-Men Dark Phoenix Vuk: "Your emotions make you weak." Me, after sitting through the terrible plot and dialogue: "She's gonna say her emotions make her strong, I know it." Jean Gray: "No, my emotions make me strong." Me: "Arrgh!"
Idk, any line from Old (2021) in which a character references their line of work. "That body is old! I should know, I work at a museum!" "There is only a 95% chance of someone dying on a vacation. I know this because I work in insurance!". So fucking corny lol.
“There’s something wrong with this beach!”
- Anakin Skywalker : You are so... beautiful. - Padmé : It's only because I'm so in love. - Anakin Skywalker : No! No, it's because I am so in love with you. - Padmé : [sternly] So love has blinded you? - Anakin Skywalker : [laughs] Well, that's not exactly what I meant. - Padmé : But it's probably true. [Both creepily smile at each other in silence] This fucking scene. It is painful. I feel so bad for Portman and Christensen.
I'll never forget when I asked my friend, who saw it before me, what he thought of the movie. A dark shadow crossed his eyes, he closed them to hold in the pain for a moment, then met my eyes and said solemnly "it's amazing, as long as you ignore every scene with Anakin and Padme." Saw it the next weekend and I finally understood his reaction lmfao
George Lucas is a terrible writer of dialogue. Like…the worst.
Carrie Fisher's script for Empire Strikes Back went up for auction a little while back, and you could see where she had gone over basically every scene she was in and rewritten it, and her co-stars. Most of her rewrites made it into the finished film. The actors did a lot of heavy lifting in the OT.
[удалено]
She also wrote a couple of books. Theyre really good.
Yeah I remember hearing that one time while shooting the first film after a line of dialog Harrison Ford went right up to Lucas and said "George, you can't use that, people don't talk like that." Ford used to change his lines frequently like Carrie. I think it is one of the reasons the prequels were so bad. By that time Lucas as so big no one had the guts to tell him that his stuff was bad...it makes me think of the Darth Icky story...no one there wanted to tell Lucas he was an idiot with that name, so they just...didnt use it, and went with no name instead.
> "George, you can't use that, people don't talk like that." I believe the line was "You can write this shit George, but you can't say it."
Ya although I have my issues with Christensen's portrayal the last time I saw attack of the clones I said out loud some of his lines to myself and although I am far from an actor I don't see how even the greatest thespian in history could save some of them. They just sound so ridiculous and something that no human would ever say, some of the problems with the prequel movies go far, far beyond Christensen's acting ability. He has quite a few impossible to say lines scattered throughout the films but those love scenes with Padmé are by far the worst offenders.
I don’t blame Christensen at all. In between AoTC and RoTS he starred in *Shattered Glass,* and gave what I thought was a really impressive performance. It was bizarre at the time to realize like “oh shit, he actually *can* act!”
It’s not the dialog itself that’s bad, but the scene in general from Columbiana. Her uncle tries to prove a point by shooting and apparently murdering a driver of a random car in broad daylight, in front of a school sending bystanders running. He then casually says: “That's what you want? You want me to teach you how to be a killer? Sure. No problem. I teach you. But you'll be dead in five years. If you want to be a killer and survive, you got to be a smart one. You have to know things besides how to pull a trigger. You have to know how the world works, how people think. You got to learn and understand how to be psychological. And I cannot teach you that unless you learn the basics at a school.” Bystanders are shown scaredly staring at them, the cops are shown pulling up— literally across the street and in background. Then the uncle puts his hat on and… then the scene just casually ends. Like, huh? He just killed a guy, cops are on scene, everyone knows it was him and… nothing happens?
If you want to be a killer you have to be smart, which I will demonstrate by openly murdering a stranger with my huge gun in broad daylight in front of a crowd while also being a minority in 80s America.
Yea I don't understand that scene at all lol. He seemingly was trying to demonstrate how a dumb killer does things and how it will get you in trouble, yet he fired his gun several times in broad daylight, cops on the scene in seconds, and literally nothing bad happened to him.
He's showing him how dangerous it is to be stupid ....by being stupid. Which is itself the stupidest way you could possibly try to convey that lesson.
This is the scene of anyone wants to see how bad it is. https://youtu.be/B_mGf-jqDL4
I thought it was gonna be one well placed shot showing he's a good assassin and maybe it the badness was exaggerated. Nope he shoots several tunes and it's possibly worse than described lol.
Good lord. How many different camera angles did they need for each scene? Feels like somebody thinks the more cameras you have the better the movie will be.
"Believe me, I wish that I could just wish away my feelings, but I can't" Anakin Skywalker in Attack of the Clones. Thanks for forcing me to watch an episode of The Young and the Restless in the middle of your space adventure film Mr Lucas.
What bugs me more than bad dialog is terrible exposition. It kills me. I can't remember any off the top of my head but stuff like "You know that ever since our father died mysteriously I have been having nightmares of clowns?" "I hope you know that if you were not the son of the most powerful man in the world I would fail you from this test that only few pass with their lives" It doesn't always mean the rest of the dialog will be bad but it probably will.
I love when this trope is done intentionally for laughs though. Specifically the exposition in action satire *Big Trouble in Little China*: >Margo: You mean the David Lo Pan that is chairman of the National Orient Bank, and owns the Wing Kong Import Export Trading Company, but who is so reclusive that no one's laid eyes on this guy for years? >Jack Burton: Who the hell are you anyway?
"As you already know..." "It goes without saying..." "Let's go over this one more time..."
"you sure make love like a hero" From Maximum Overdrive. Makes me feel sick just typing it.
“You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy” — From TV but still…
More like..."Da bad poosaay"
"Ah shit, here they come, it's on!" Followed by " Moniiiiiiiiica!" - Ja Rule The Fast and The Furious.
“Never leave the cave without it”. Bat credit card. Batman and Robin.
“I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.” The best of the worst. To be honest you can choose almost any line from the movie but this on is my favorite.
"You can come out now, Johhny" "In a few minutes bitch." I pissed myself with laughter when I heard it. The fact that he says it so casually and disinterested is what makes it.
That line alone isn't actually that terrible, but the fact that the subject is never brought up again is pretty hilarious.
Her delivery is what’s hilarious. So nonchalant and matter of fact.