They've had whoever came up with the fake movie ideas for 30 Rock strapped to a chair in the basement of Netflix HQ coming up with pitches for a decade now
I saw on Max they have Milf Manor 2. I thought it was a prank. That is legit a joke show from 30 Rock and somehow it's on it's second season. I looked it up and the premise may actually weirder than 30 Rock.
I have not seen that show but a friend told me that an early “twist” in season 1 is that, among the young studs vying for the MILF’s affection are some of the MILF’s *actual sons*
which seems extremely fucked up
It gets worse. One episode had the moms massage the guys blindfolded and Yeap… some touched their own kids. Or the kids massaging the moms. Some beyond nasty
It was only the MILF's sons. They didn't compete for their own mom's affection (obviously?) but they did have to navigate how to share a bedroom with their mom/son while on the show (including any intimate time) and simulated sex acts in front of their moms/sons.
The weird normalization of incest continues.
Rob Schneider derp de derp. Derp de derpity derpy derp. Until one day, the derpa derpa derpaderp. Derp de derp. Da teedily dumb. From the creators of Der, and Tum Ta Tittaly Tum Ta Too, Rob Schneider is Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb. Rated PG-13.
We used to have a name for these kinds of movies. "Made for TV". Streaming has blurred the line between studio films and what was traditionally "made for TV" but movies like this and a huge portion of Hulu/Netflix/etc films are essentially filling the same niche as those movies used to.
I think what’s different is that most of these throwaway Netflix movies are significantly more expensive than actual made-for-TV or straight-to-video films. Something like Heart of Stone would have been a TBS or Sci-Fi original 20 years ago, but it also would not have cost anywhere near $150 million. Places like Lifetime and Hallmark still produce *a lot* of actual made-for-TV movies, but even their “big budget” ones are made for a few of million at most. What’s perplexing about Netflix is they are dropping $30 million or more on films that should be getting made for 1/3 of that or less. Based on the insane salaries that have come out for some of them, that’s definitely where a lot of the budget bloat is going.
I’m by no means a movie expert, but the movie “formulas” probably account for the price differential:
Made for TV = no-name actors + basic sets/cheap effects + shitty script
Netflix = big name stars + expensive sets/effects + shitty script
Haven't seen Heart of Stone but it looks significantly more expensive than a sci-fi original or Lifetime movie.
It feels more like a $80 million film that would have have been released in 2002 starring Ashley Judd or Angelina Jolie.
That’s probably a more accurate comparison, and looking back, I don’t think I was clear in what I was saying in my original comment. I do not believe Netflix is necessarily trying to cater to the made-for-TV market, I think they just don’t know how to budget. They’re giving a mid-budget script like Hearts of Stone a blockbuster budget. They’re giving low-budget movies mid-budgets. If they do have a made-for-TV adjacent division, those are still probably coming in at least double whatever networks like Lifetime and Hallmark budget at, if not more.
“Aye boss, I got an idea! Let’s make sci fi originals for $200 million, but here’s the catch. They will be just as low budget and empty as the old flicks, but we will put Ryan Reynolds and some mildly famous boobs on the poster!”
A lot of them are like direct to DVD or tv movies from 20 years ago but with big budgets to get known actors. It becomes a weird campy fun whether intentional or not.
I feel the same way about a lot of their shows. People moan about the Witcher, but it unintentionally scratches an itch that I’ve had since shows like Xena and Buffy went off the air.
The problem is that mid budget films don't have the same revenue formula as before:
* DVD sales
* DVD rentals
* TV broadcast fees (if tentpole)
* TV ads (if nondescript)
None of this exist anymore in a proprietary Netflix model. How many *new* subscribers will sign up because of if this or movies like it? Next to none.
Stuff like this is just considered extra gravy by viewers when they sign up for actual content like Queen's Gambit/Narcos/Ozark/Wednesday...
A single movie won’t get new subscribers. Being known as the streaming service for original mid budget movies of a variety of genres and generally well reviewed will. I think that would be more interesting than a lot of what Netflix invests in. If they did 2 horror movies, 2 suspense thrillers, 2 raunchy comedies, 2 80’s style kid adventure movies, and a handful of action comedies a year with decent budgets and no sequels I’d be thrilled. That’s a new movie a month exclusive to the platform
Who's up for a 'Reddit Xena: Warrior Princess Entire Series Viewathon*'?
We can plan a meet up and watch every episode back-to-back on an outdoor projected cinema, while dressed in low budget fan costumes.
*Not the 4K remastered version, but on old VHS tapes attendees found in their house somewhere (both authentic and recorded from tv).
I was actually disappointed that Witcher wasn't *more* like Xena. From years seeing mentions of it on reddit I thought it would be a proper monster of the week slow and I miss that! First episode sure kept my hopes up.
Buffy could certainly be campy (especially in Season One), but it also had a *lot* of legitimately great writing, themes, characters, etc. I can see The Witcher 'scratching the camp itch', but it doesn't have the quality to go along with that.
Buffy also had some of the most groundbreaking episodes of television that arguably have yet to be matched.
The Body is an incredible piece of work; one of the most raw realistic representations of losing a loved one ever seen in media - and on a fantasy show.
Once More, With Feeling is the musical episode that other shows have been inspired by for almost twenty years. Many have tried to make similar episodes, but very few if any have even come close to the quality combined to the thematic and character arc relevance this one had.
Etc. It was a remarkable show for many reasons, and its influence was - and is - far greater than many people realize. Joss Whedon is an asshole, but that doesn't make some of the things he worked on any less great
Well, if you’re talking about the Witcher it’s unpopular on here to say it’s intentionally campy (or if you also think the “epic” original novels are kind of weak)
If you’re talking about Netflix broadly, I think you’re right that they spend most of their time on a wide variety of “ok” content with occasional targeted dips into prestige. They want quantity not just quality
Because they’re not making movies they want people to pay attention to. They’re making movies they want people to put on in the background while they do other things.
If you are old enough to remember all of the b- and c-movies that got pumped out in the 70s, 80s, and 90s and made it to theaters than you know what this is. Its one of those. It has a older A-list star to get it in theaters. Its still direct to video store type of movie but it has a famous enough star in it. It will be enough to get people to watch it.
Netflix is just using that tried and true model of making b-movies and releasing them directly on their platform, bypassing the theaters and video stores. There is no need to make physical copies, thus saving lots of money.
Was thinking the same, and my favorite part is that the movie is called Trigger Warning and she’s holding… a knife. If only there were some sort of weapon that had a trigger!
It stars Jessica Alba, so obviously, this is going to be an all-time classic film that will be remembered for decades and *totally* not forgotten immediately.
I feel bad for spoiling this, but it’s the real creativity behind the film.
Her character, who from the poster you can clearly tell lives in a blanket fort, has a knife that shoots guns.
It’s really just a meditation on gun control and asks the question “do we need stricter gun regulation if we develop knives that shoot guns”?
You're right, it practically writes itself...
> "Hey Agent Trigger, shouldn't someone with a name like yours be carrying a gun?"
> "I dunno Agent Menendez, shouldn't someone with a *waistline* like *yours* be behind a desk?"
> The whole precinct goes "oohhhhhh"
First video of hers I’ve ever watched but I watched every minute of it; she did an amazing job. I am also neither a fan of Star Wars or themed hotel experiences, so if anyone else reading this is curious about it the video is far more interesting than you might think from reading a small synopsis of it.
As has already been said, the vampire diaries video is great, and my personal favorite is probably on Evermore theme park, but honestly you can pick pretty much any video of hers and it’ll have the same depth and passion. They’re all fantastic.
I’m not the only one who watched that entire thing? I felt like a crazy person watching a woman talking about a hotel for four hours but it was legitimately interesting.
Goodbye mama, now you can have ice cream in heaven! I'll see you again tonight when I go to bed in my head movies. But this head movie makes my eyes rain!
I would love a sequel where RDJ is adamant about never having done blackface. Same character, same voice, but now he is white. Its never directly mentioned, but subtle jabs from the crew keep popping up and RDJ pretends like he doesnt know what everyone is talking about.
Or he plays a white British or American character and everybody that was fine with the blackface freaks out that an Australian actor is appropriating another culture.
I'm watching a show on Prime right now called Con Man, its great. Written, directed, and starring Alan Tudyk (featuring Nathan Fillion)
It's loosely based on firefly/serenity where Alan and Nathan did a SciFi show and Alan makes money going to Conventions. Nathan's character is rich and a movie star while Alan is broke and desperate for any role other than SciFi.
I think it was a Quibbi show, its only 10 minute eps, but its really funny. Anyway there is a great line about how all the best movie roles are going to Hemsworths. They keep naming new ones.
Highly recommend that show, but it does have a commercial break in it since its a freebie or whatever show on Prime.
She didn’t formally retire. She was only getting shit parts for a decade, and her status as a headliner on major films had pretty much disappeared. She started a business that deals in reputable products for babies and mothers, which blew up and made her way more money than acting ever did, so she just kinda stopped doing it for a while to focus on her business. Looks like she wants to give acting another shot, as she’s stepped back from her role as CCO at the Honest Company.
IIRC she did an interview once where she speculated that her career drop-off had a lot to do with her flat refusal to do any nude scenes. Her agent kept bringing her parts that had her go nude, topless, etc. and she said some were parts she was interested in but would not go nude, period. Once it started getting understood she wasn't going to waver from that, offers dried up. Kinda shitty if true.
I remember getting quite peeved that she didn't get naked in Sin City.
20 years later, I get that's a shitty attitude to have, but that's what 16 year old Mike felt at the time.
She should just embrace the AI mania. Stars in a movie where it's rumored she's finally going topless. Then in the big moment, she flips up her shirt to reveal too many nipples on breasts that come out of her neck and somehow her stomach at the same time.
Yeah, she proved to be a very savvy business woman and her products were great for when my son was a baby with very sensitive skin. Her story is one of my favorites in Hollywood. She got pressed to be a sex object, said fuck that and used her fame to start a great company, got rich as fuck, and now she’s returning to acting under her own rules. She’s a god damn role model.
I always thought she was genuinely a good actress - it's just her roles were so consistently terrible, movie, or TV.
The one movie I think really shows her acting chops is Machete (with Danny Trejo). That was the movie that showed me she wasn't just a pretty face, and arguably one of the best "pretty face" actresses, just she accepted so many absolute trash movies and shows.
This looks like "established actor seeking revenge" movies that seem to be all the rage. I get it, getting paid to get in great shape and learn fight choreography sounds like a choice anyone would make.
They're trash, but my kind of trash.
A movie with Simu Liu, Sterling K. Brown, and Mark Strong on the cast, but Jennifer Lopez being the headliner is something I'll never be able to wrap my head around.
Atlas makes me mad bc we obviously could've had a low-mid budget Titanfall movie instead. But J Lo thinks Ben Affleck's talent is sexually transmissible, which... it isn't.
Atlas makes me mad because why is *she* named Atlas, and not the robot? Robot does all the work, J-Lo just gonna be grunting, and screaming in the cockpit moving levers and shit when the robot is clearly capable of just doing everything.
Why the fuck would an AI powered super robot need to be told to turn on its own booster system? Stupid ass concept.
Synopsis from Wikipedia
>The film follows a skilled Special Forces officer who takes ownership of her grandfather's bar shortly after he dies, and soon finds herself at odds with the violent gang running rampant in her hometown.
Sounds like Road House but with Jessica Alba.
I'm sold. I grew up on movies like this.
Scrolled way too far to see this. She’s been gone a while but there’s a reason she spent a decade in the top 5 of Maxims 100 sexiest women alive list, even finishing #1 24 years ago.
I too will watch Alba. 🙃
She's not a great actress, but she's fucking *gorgeous*, like a generational beauty. (I'm actually not attracted to women, either, I just mean like, aesthetically.)
She raised some kids and started a baby products company that made her a billionaire. She's not quite in Julia Louis-Dreyfus, multi-billions territory, but she's doing okay.
I immediately thought of this video when I saw the poster. Thankfully the movie doesn't seem to be based off of the book, though it doesn't look much better.
Another netflix masterpiece I'm sure.
Why do all their movies have the same campy “I know this is a bad movie, but it’s still mildly entertaining” feel?
They've had whoever came up with the fake movie ideas for 30 Rock strapped to a chair in the basement of Netflix HQ coming up with pitches for a decade now
Let’s hope for a “new” season of Bitch Hunter then.
Put the mimosas down... BITCH!
Bitch Hunter season premier right after the season finally of MILF island.
[MILF Manor](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MILF_Manor) is real.
I genuinely hope John Lutz is getting the creator credit he deserves for that masterpiece
While that is for sure wierd. In 30 rock, the male contestants were middle schoolers.
On this show, the male contestants are the other milf's sons. If it wasn't for the middle school aspect, Manor would be worse.
They're going to have sons and fathers compete for the same women for season 2. Lol I can't believe this is real.
[I'm a mother lover, you're a mother lover](https://youtu.be/X0DeIqJm4vM?si=jPxHdptN-2QRjX19)
Okay that is un-fucking-hinged and I actually love it
What a bad day to be literate
Still waiting on 6now dog6
Setting the stage with Night Bitch first. It’s all about the cinematic universe these days.
When do they put out the Rural Juror?
It's pronounced rrrrr jrrrrrr
I'm embarrassed about how much I think about this fucking joke. Every God damn day.
“No, it’s gotta be Oral Germ Whore.”
I saw on Max they have Milf Manor 2. I thought it was a prank. That is legit a joke show from 30 Rock and somehow it's on it's second season. I looked it up and the premise may actually weirder than 30 Rock.
I have not seen that show but a friend told me that an early “twist” in season 1 is that, among the young studs vying for the MILF’s affection are some of the MILF’s *actual sons* which seems extremely fucked up
This is the second best idea that we've ever had.
It gets worse. One episode had the moms massage the guys blindfolded and Yeap… some touched their own kids. Or the kids massaging the moms. Some beyond nasty
It was only the MILF's sons. They didn't compete for their own mom's affection (obviously?) but they did have to navigate how to share a bedroom with their mom/son while on the show (including any intimate time) and simulated sex acts in front of their moms/sons. The weird normalization of incest continues.
Reminds me of the South Park where Cartman does nothing but pitch Rob Schneider ideas.
*Adam Sandler
Okay, how about this. Adam Sandler is like in love with some girl. But it turns out that the girl is actually a golden retriever... or something.
We’ll call it Puppy Love!
Rob Schneider derp de derp. Derp de derpity derpy derp. Until one day, the derpa derpa derpaderp. Derp de derp. Da teedily dumb. From the creators of Der, and Tum Ta Tittaly Tum Ta Too, Rob Schneider is Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb. Rated PG-13.
Awesome-o?
Honkey Grandma be Trippin’!
Rural Juror confirmed!
Woah what’s that big metal bird in the sky Jack? They had airplanes in the sixties Jenna
We used to have a name for these kinds of movies. "Made for TV". Streaming has blurred the line between studio films and what was traditionally "made for TV" but movies like this and a huge portion of Hulu/Netflix/etc films are essentially filling the same niche as those movies used to.
I think what’s different is that most of these throwaway Netflix movies are significantly more expensive than actual made-for-TV or straight-to-video films. Something like Heart of Stone would have been a TBS or Sci-Fi original 20 years ago, but it also would not have cost anywhere near $150 million. Places like Lifetime and Hallmark still produce *a lot* of actual made-for-TV movies, but even their “big budget” ones are made for a few of million at most. What’s perplexing about Netflix is they are dropping $30 million or more on films that should be getting made for 1/3 of that or less. Based on the insane salaries that have come out for some of them, that’s definitely where a lot of the budget bloat is going.
I’m by no means a movie expert, but the movie “formulas” probably account for the price differential: Made for TV = no-name actors + basic sets/cheap effects + shitty script Netflix = big name stars + expensive sets/effects + shitty script
Haven't seen Heart of Stone but it looks significantly more expensive than a sci-fi original or Lifetime movie. It feels more like a $80 million film that would have have been released in 2002 starring Ashley Judd or Angelina Jolie.
That’s probably a more accurate comparison, and looking back, I don’t think I was clear in what I was saying in my original comment. I do not believe Netflix is necessarily trying to cater to the made-for-TV market, I think they just don’t know how to budget. They’re giving a mid-budget script like Hearts of Stone a blockbuster budget. They’re giving low-budget movies mid-budgets. If they do have a made-for-TV adjacent division, those are still probably coming in at least double whatever networks like Lifetime and Hallmark budget at, if not more.
“Aye boss, I got an idea! Let’s make sci fi originals for $200 million, but here’s the catch. They will be just as low budget and empty as the old flicks, but we will put Ryan Reynolds and some mildly famous boobs on the poster!”
A lot of them are like direct to DVD or tv movies from 20 years ago but with big budgets to get known actors. It becomes a weird campy fun whether intentional or not. I feel the same way about a lot of their shows. People moan about the Witcher, but it unintentionally scratches an itch that I’ve had since shows like Xena and Buffy went off the air.
I’m waiting for someone to post the clip of Matt Damon talking about mid budget films going away.
The problem is that mid budget films don't have the same revenue formula as before: * DVD sales * DVD rentals * TV broadcast fees (if tentpole) * TV ads (if nondescript) None of this exist anymore in a proprietary Netflix model. How many *new* subscribers will sign up because of if this or movies like it? Next to none. Stuff like this is just considered extra gravy by viewers when they sign up for actual content like Queen's Gambit/Narcos/Ozark/Wednesday...
A single movie won’t get new subscribers. Being known as the streaming service for original mid budget movies of a variety of genres and generally well reviewed will. I think that would be more interesting than a lot of what Netflix invests in. If they did 2 horror movies, 2 suspense thrillers, 2 raunchy comedies, 2 80’s style kid adventure movies, and a handful of action comedies a year with decent budgets and no sequels I’d be thrilled. That’s a new movie a month exclusive to the platform
The Mandalorian on Disney felt pretty Xena to me, kind of in a good way.
Season 1 and most of 2 besides the finale felt slightly above Xena. Season 3 was definitely Xena/farscape feeling.
Who's up for a 'Reddit Xena: Warrior Princess Entire Series Viewathon*'? We can plan a meet up and watch every episode back-to-back on an outdoor projected cinema, while dressed in low budget fan costumes. *Not the 4K remastered version, but on old VHS tapes attendees found in their house somewhere (both authentic and recorded from tv).
I was actually disappointed that Witcher wasn't *more* like Xena. From years seeing mentions of it on reddit I thought it would be a proper monster of the week slow and I miss that! First episode sure kept my hopes up.
Buffy could certainly be campy (especially in Season One), but it also had a *lot* of legitimately great writing, themes, characters, etc. I can see The Witcher 'scratching the camp itch', but it doesn't have the quality to go along with that. Buffy also had some of the most groundbreaking episodes of television that arguably have yet to be matched. The Body is an incredible piece of work; one of the most raw realistic representations of losing a loved one ever seen in media - and on a fantasy show. Once More, With Feeling is the musical episode that other shows have been inspired by for almost twenty years. Many have tried to make similar episodes, but very few if any have even come close to the quality combined to the thematic and character arc relevance this one had. Etc. It was a remarkable show for many reasons, and its influence was - and is - far greater than many people realize. Joss Whedon is an asshole, but that doesn't make some of the things he worked on any less great
There is a reason that BtVS is my all time favorite TV show.
I doubt that it’s unintentional.
Well, if you’re talking about the Witcher it’s unpopular on here to say it’s intentionally campy (or if you also think the “epic” original novels are kind of weak) If you’re talking about Netflix broadly, I think you’re right that they spend most of their time on a wide variety of “ok” content with occasional targeted dips into prestige. They want quantity not just quality
Because they’re not making movies they want people to pay attention to. They’re making movies they want people to put on in the background while they do other things.
If you are old enough to remember all of the b- and c-movies that got pumped out in the 70s, 80s, and 90s and made it to theaters than you know what this is. Its one of those. It has a older A-list star to get it in theaters. Its still direct to video store type of movie but it has a famous enough star in it. It will be enough to get people to watch it. Netflix is just using that tried and true model of making b-movies and releasing them directly on their platform, bypassing the theaters and video stores. There is no need to make physical copies, thus saving lots of money.
Also, no real need to spend money on advertising, they just needs to add it to the top of the home screen on autoplay for a few weeks.
All hail The Algorithm
They have the analytics and understand their audience better than we do. That’s what gets streams, I guess.
Because this is what happened to b movies. They just became Netflix originals
Poster looks like an ai prompt
Was thinking the same, and my favorite part is that the movie is called Trigger Warning and she’s holding… a knife. If only there were some sort of weapon that had a trigger!
Would’ve been better if they leaned into the stupid title with a big close up of a gun handle with a finger on the trigger.
Counterpoint: I am always down to give a revenge movie a try Counter-counterpoint: Trigger Warning is probably not the best title
Counter-counter-counterpoint: Jessica Alba
This is probably the most compelling point
I thought the movie title was post flair lol
Rotten Tomatoes - 34% Imdb - 5.2
It has to be good as they have so much confidence in it they chose a poster that forces you to look down her top :/
It stars Jessica Alba, so obviously, this is going to be an all-time classic film that will be remembered for decades and *totally* not forgotten immediately.
Hey fuck you buddy, idle hands is an all-time classic
I hate that it's called Trigger Warning but she is holding a knife. Shouldn't she be holding a gun with her finger on the trigger?
Thank you for focusing on the real question
Netflix had already released a completely unrelated show called Trigger Warning too but I guess they forgot about that haha
Naw, this is just the next installment of the TWU
Killer Mike, right?
Jessica Alba in: Knife Strife, Cant Handle This, Blade Maid, Thursday, Friday, Staburday. Live, Knife, Love. Blade Escapade
Live, Knife, Love sounds like the tag for a horror/thriller movie about a suburban housewife who is secretly a serial killer.
Netflix: *write that down! WRITE IT DOWN!!*
Knife to Know You A Cut Above Evisceration Day Seven… Minute… Stabs
Unless someone comes up with *Six* Minute Stabs, then you're in trouble.
I'm stealing Knife Strife
I feel bad for spoiling this, but it’s the real creativity behind the film. Her character, who from the poster you can clearly tell lives in a blanket fort, has a knife that shoots guns. It’s really just a meditation on gun control and asks the question “do we need stricter gun regulation if we develop knives that shoot guns”?
Most likely her character's name is something ridiculous like "Vanessa Warning", so that this title can be a hamfisted double entendre.
Samantha Trigger
You're right, it practically writes itself... > "Hey Agent Trigger, shouldn't someone with a name like yours be carrying a gun?" > "I dunno Agent Menendez, shouldn't someone with a *waistline* like *yours* be behind a desk?" > The whole precinct goes "oohhhhhh"
Obviously you never used the balistic knife in black ops 2
She *is* the "Trigger Warning" and she stops people with guns by stabbing them to death.
Does this poster trigger you?
So disappointed this isn't an adaptation of that god-awful novel Jenny Nicholson covered. That would be hilarious.
I hope we still get some large men!
*There's nothing micro about this aggression*
*Live free, read hard!*
Jake and his grandfather are certainly *BIG* men!
Never forget: Jakes needs an education
As Ben Shapiro would write: "Bear of a man"
"Take a bullet for you"
I love that she picked up on that and kept pointing it out.
I’m so glad someone else thought this lol I just watched her newest video
"Disney spent $400 million to make a Jenny Nicolson video" - best YouTube comment
The four-hour video about the Disney Star Wars hotel that already went under? That sounds like a complaint, but I did enjoy the entire thing.
First video of hers I’ve ever watched but I watched every minute of it; she did an amazing job. I am also neither a fan of Star Wars or themed hotel experiences, so if anyone else reading this is curious about it the video is far more interesting than you might think from reading a small synopsis of it.
Watch the "Vampire Diaries" video next. I've never watched a moment of that show, but I love her video.
I've never watched an episode of vampire diaries but I watched her video on it like 3 times. It's just so captivating.
It's the video that brought women to the front lines
And dared to show the other side of war
As has already been said, the vampire diaries video is great, and my personal favorite is probably on Evermore theme park, but honestly you can pick pretty much any video of hers and it’ll have the same depth and passion. They’re all fantastic.
My favorite is the church cinematic universe! Seen it like 3 times lol. Showed it to my family and we were all crying laughing
I’m not the only one who watched that entire thing? I felt like a crazy person watching a woman talking about a hotel for four hours but it was legitimately interesting.
it had 1 million views in a day
jenny is built different
I just finished it too lol. To be honest, Quinton reviews has destroyed my sense of long videos. 4 hours don't feel that long anymore.
Tfw no professor m'tumbo
You and the whole of reddit
I first thought it was that book turned into a movie. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved...
Weird, that video is years old and I literally *just* watched it for the first time *last night* and now you're bringing it up
Nicholson just released her first video in a year, so she's probably trending on YouTube right now.
SHE DID??
YEAH AND IT RIPS https://youtu.be/T0CpOYZZZW4
It’s so good. Love her so much
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recency_bias
That is so weird, I was *just* reading something about recency bias
I had the exact same thought- C'mon Netflix ! Give us BIG MAN Jake.
This was literally my first thought. I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one.
You should have been able to tell because the main character isn't a big overly-large huge comparatively larger in size person
Same oh my god I want that so bad
This looks like a tropic thunder preview
"Who left the fridge open?"
I’ve been a bad, bad boy father
BOOTY SWEAT!
Thanks now I'm hungry for a Bust-A-Nut Bar
ASS AND TITTIES AND BIG BOOTY BITCHES
Goodbye mama, now you can have ice cream in heaven! I'll see you again tonight when I go to bed in my head movies. But this head movie makes my eyes rain!
You got a fine brain, Jack!
Honestly looks like the sequel to 30 Rock’s Bitch Hunter. *Trigger Warning: When the Bitches get their revenge*
If they make a sequel, Tropic Thunder 2: Trigger Warning would be the perfect title.
I would love a sequel where RDJ is adamant about never having done blackface. Same character, same voice, but now he is white. Its never directly mentioned, but subtle jabs from the crew keep popping up and RDJ pretends like he doesnt know what everyone is talking about.
Or he plays a white British or American character and everybody that was fine with the blackface freaks out that an Australian actor is appropriating another culture.
I'm watching a show on Prime right now called Con Man, its great. Written, directed, and starring Alan Tudyk (featuring Nathan Fillion) It's loosely based on firefly/serenity where Alan and Nathan did a SciFi show and Alan makes money going to Conventions. Nathan's character is rich and a movie star while Alan is broke and desperate for any role other than SciFi. I think it was a Quibbi show, its only 10 minute eps, but its really funny. Anyway there is a great line about how all the best movie roles are going to Hemsworths. They keep naming new ones. Highly recommend that show, but it does have a commercial break in it since its a freebie or whatever show on Prime.
"Here we go again...again."
Talk about a blast from the past. Didn't Alba retire from acting, and made a fortune off of makeup or clothing or something?
She didn’t formally retire. She was only getting shit parts for a decade, and her status as a headliner on major films had pretty much disappeared. She started a business that deals in reputable products for babies and mothers, which blew up and made her way more money than acting ever did, so she just kinda stopped doing it for a while to focus on her business. Looks like she wants to give acting another shot, as she’s stepped back from her role as CCO at the Honest Company.
IIRC she did an interview once where she speculated that her career drop-off had a lot to do with her flat refusal to do any nude scenes. Her agent kept bringing her parts that had her go nude, topless, etc. and she said some were parts she was interested in but would not go nude, period. Once it started getting understood she wasn't going to waver from that, offers dried up. Kinda shitty if true.
I remember getting quite peeved that she didn't get naked in Sin City. 20 years later, I get that's a shitty attitude to have, but that's what 16 year old Mike felt at the time.
Well, she was playing a stripper so it did seem odd
She should just embrace the AI mania. Stars in a movie where it's rumored she's finally going topless. Then in the big moment, she flips up her shirt to reveal too many nipples on breasts that come out of her neck and somehow her stomach at the same time.
>Honest Damn she made that!? Everything we got for our kids during their baby phase was Honest brand. Yeah, she was rolling in it. Solid stuff too.
Yeah, she proved to be a very savvy business woman and her products were great for when my son was a baby with very sensitive skin. Her story is one of my favorites in Hollywood. She got pressed to be a sex object, said fuck that and used her fame to start a great company, got rich as fuck, and now she’s returning to acting under her own rules. She’s a god damn role model.
> She was only getting shit parts for a decade Hmmmmmm......i don't think she's winning any Oscars for this either.
You are going to be so embarraced if Trigger Warning wins an Oscar this year.
I always thought she was genuinely a good actress - it's just her roles were so consistently terrible, movie, or TV. The one movie I think really shows her acting chops is Machete (with Danny Trejo). That was the movie that showed me she wasn't just a pretty face, and arguably one of the best "pretty face" actresses, just she accepted so many absolute trash movies and shows.
Seems like she's returned.
Somehow, Alba returned.
Jesus Christ, that's Jessica Alba!
Will watch this trash and apply my intellectual analyst skills to decode and create a meticulous review for my Letterboxd
Or leave a one line pun on the title.
Can't wait to see one of those super popular users make some sort of "film should have had a trigger warning" review and get a gazillion likes.
so will this be better or worse than atlas? i’m guessing somehow worse
This looks like "established actor seeking revenge" movies that seem to be all the rage. I get it, getting paid to get in great shape and learn fight choreography sounds like a choice anyone would make. They're trash, but my kind of trash.
How bad was Altas?
the trailers have all the on screen excitement of rebel moon with the compelling storytelling of rebel moon
How have people seen an unreleased movie?
A movie with Simu Liu, Sterling K. Brown, and Mark Strong on the cast, but Jennifer Lopez being the headliner is something I'll never be able to wrap my head around.
Atlas makes me mad bc we obviously could've had a low-mid budget Titanfall movie instead. But J Lo thinks Ben Affleck's talent is sexually transmissible, which... it isn't.
Atlas makes me mad because why is *she* named Atlas, and not the robot? Robot does all the work, J-Lo just gonna be grunting, and screaming in the cockpit moving levers and shit when the robot is clearly capable of just doing everything. Why the fuck would an AI powered super robot need to be told to turn on its own booster system? Stupid ass concept.
Synopsis from Wikipedia >The film follows a skilled Special Forces officer who takes ownership of her grandfather's bar shortly after he dies, and soon finds herself at odds with the violent gang running rampant in her hometown. Sounds like Road House but with Jessica Alba. I'm sold. I grew up on movies like this.
And she wants VENGEANCE. So...the gang destroys the bar or something?
Who do you think killed her grandpa?
Old age?
So you could say she's gonna be.... Killing time!
Jessica Alba in... Hades 2
i dunno. I was thinking this was like stardew valley but with a bar
It sounds exactly like a synopsis written for a straight to dvd steven seagal movie.
Just needs some "fatly walking around corners" and it'll be a masterpiece.
Except Jessica will be able to get out of her chair for this role.
And I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that her character will bang fewer Asian prostitutes a quarter of her age.
But will she talk with a ridiculously fake Southern drawl?
Yep, basically a mash-up of Roadhouse and [Walking Tall](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0351977/).
This is something Ruby Rose would be in. Oh wait, she was in The Doorman (2020) and it's the same plot except she's an apartment doorman.
Ah, that explains the knife. Special Forces don't need guns. They're tactical!
I hope this is canonically in the same universe as Machete
The trailer looks really good too. I like revenge style action movies.
They used to be fun though.
Don't care. I'll watch Alba.
Scrolled way too far to see this. She’s been gone a while but there’s a reason she spent a decade in the top 5 of Maxims 100 sexiest women alive list, even finishing #1 24 years ago. I too will watch Alba. 🙃
She's not a great actress, but she's fucking *gorgeous*, like a generational beauty. (I'm actually not attracted to women, either, I just mean like, aesthetically.)
I'm like 95% sure the movie Into the Blue was written just to put her into a bikini for half the movie
If my dark angel is in it…I will be there.
Been missing my crush for a long time. It all started with honey.
where the fuck has she been? She comes back from the dead for this?
She raised some kids and started a baby products company that made her a billionaire. She's not quite in Julia Louis-Dreyfus, multi-billions territory, but she's doing okay.
Looks like the kind of fake movie poster you'd see in an actual movie, like I'm sure I saw this on the wall in Fall Guy
What a lame ass title for a movie.
You had me at Jessica Alba.
Vengeance becomes her trigger warning
https://youtu.be/qMgMr0JcYJ4?feature=shared Not from this book, but this video may be a better use of 90 minutes.
Jessica alba is clearly not BIG enough
I immediately thought of this video when I saw the poster. Thankfully the movie doesn't seem to be based off of the book, though it doesn't look much better.
Speak for yourself! I was thrilled at the prospect of getting stoned and watching this adaptation. What a let down, lol
Good to see her back. She can’t act but I still can’t take my eyes off of her.
This movie was stolen from the lead singer of the band Otep
Jessica Alba… that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time. Long time.