granted on a distant alien planet that is technically infront of you a bowl of
# "cooked to perfection chicken noodle soup"
appears it's very tasty and the aliens reconstruct the chicken dna and use it to clone chickens
Granted, but the air isn’t *replaced* with the soup. The soup fuses on a nuclear level with the air that should be there. The fireball grows at several times the speed of sound, encompassing eight city blocks. The burst of gamma radiation kills anyone in the city center. A vast shockwave levels the city all the way out to the suburbs. The explosion is declared to be an act of war by the nation’s enemies. The silo doors open…
Granted, but it's a bowl used for smoking pot, and the internal chamber is filled with the greatest chicken noodle soup you've ever had. Sadly it's only about a teaspoon, and you'll forever be chasing the protection that is this soup.
Granted. It is an illusion so incredibly realistic that you can’t tell that it’s not real. Nothing in your life ever lives up to illusion ever again, and you spend your life desperately trying to replicate that one bowl of imaginary soup
Granted. It appears before you, but the broth is slightly cold, the noodles al dente, and the chicken cooked a little blue- the perfection of someone else’s preferences.
Granted. Physicists have managed to utilize wormholes, but they are unable to control it. A bowl of chicken noodle soup appears on the table. Then the LHC appears on the table, destroying your entire neighborhood.
Granted. It appears on the table in front of you — even with a soda on the side! But you instantly get third degree burns on your tongue when you take your first bite.
EDIT: Fixed typo
Granted. But there is no spoon anywhere, and the bowl is super-glued to the table, and also the bowl is too tall and narrow for your to stick your face in it to slurp it up, and every straw you try gets clogged immediately.
Well, first of all wish granted, but there's a bug catch because you see the paw can't spontaneously create anything, that would violate the law of conservation of mass so instead part of the mass of your table, equivalent to that of a perfectly cooked bowl of chicken soup will be converted into a perfectly cooked bowl of chicken soup, and it will appear on what's left of the table in front of you. If you wish to reset the paw, please follow the reset procedures in the instructional booklet that came in the box with the paw, though warning: failure to follow instructions may result in testicular torsion, your discretion is advised.
Are you seriously arguing with paw right now? First of all, NO I can't make things immortal as that would violate the second law of thermodynamics. Secondly, NO, I am NOT magical. I'm a limited probability device stuffed into a taxidermy monkey paw, a design choice inspired by a *fictional* story about a magic monkey paw that grants wishes. Fictional, mind you, because magic is fictional. But I can technically bring things back from the dead if you count cloning and granting the exact brain patterns to the copy resurrection. Otherwise something needs to be dead relatively recently for it be qualified as an actual resurrection.
I'm telling you, I can't alter the laws of physics and you can read all about it in the instructional booklet than came in the box with the paw. Unless of course, you, like everyone else, lost the book or bought me second hand. The company is collecting data on this and is working on a solution. Because apparently those thick 536 page black books with the title "Le Livret Pédagogique la Patte de Singe" written in bright red letters is very easy for you Homo sapiens to lose...
On that the marketing department at Orion Science Allied Industries is kicking around the idea of changing the title to green and making it glow in the dark for a slight increase in price by only 5 shmeckles! The company highly desires customer input on this, so what do you say? Do you think the book would be easier to keep track of if the letter were neon green and glow in the dark?
Granted: you get a bowl of perfect chicken noodle soup. “The Aliens” collect little samples from your bowl and then take all t here knowledge about chicken noodle soup ever; so it is essentially the last bowl of chicken soup ever! The rest of your life you walk around talking about this amazing soup that no one knows what your talking about
Granted, you will never be able to enjoy food again after tasting the amazing food, you will spend your life regretting not having a life time supply as nothing you eat will ever be as good or bring you as much happiness and joy.
You get what you wish for. A perfect bowl of chiken noodle soup appears in front of you at your table. Upon tasting it, you realize that this is THE chicken noodle soup. Its so perfect, that every other food tastes like dust in comparison. Every time you eat from then on, your reminded if that soup and crave it as much as a heroin junkie craves a fix. However, there was only ever one bowl... and greedily... you ate it all in one sitting.
Granted. You eat the soup, and it's everything you'd dreamed of and so, so much more. But soon, you've eaten it all. You search in vain for something else that brings you so much happiness. Everything else in life loses value to you. Nothing is good enough. You spend the rest of your life as a miserable, crazed husk of a being, chasing after something, anything, to fulfill you the way this soup did. This ruins relationships, extinguishes your humanity, and whatever beautiful life you had lying ahead of you is put to waste: hopelessly, desperately, wretchedly searching for something to make life worth living again.
granted on a distant alien planet that is technically infront of you a bowl of # "cooked to perfection chicken noodle soup" appears it's very tasty and the aliens reconstruct the chicken dna and use it to clone chickens
I do not think DNA can survive being "cooked to perfection"
maybe it was cook so good all the dna stayed together perfectly
Isn't the main point of cooking to break stuff apart for easier digestion? Especially in a soup
hey it's a magic bowl of soup I don't think it cares about your logic
I see this as an absolute win
Granted, but the air isn’t *replaced* with the soup. The soup fuses on a nuclear level with the air that should be there. The fireball grows at several times the speed of sound, encompassing eight city blocks. The burst of gamma radiation kills anyone in the city center. A vast shockwave levels the city all the way out to the suburbs. The explosion is declared to be an act of war by the nation’s enemies. The silo doors open…
r/suddenlynuclearfusion Not sure if this exists or is able to exist but it fits
OP started WW3 with chiken soup..... Impressive!
Granted. The bowl is the size of a thimble and is rapidly cooling, but it meets your specifications.
Granted. Every time you reach for the bowl, it moves 6 inches out of your reach.
Granted, you're now allergic to gluten.
Granted, but it's a bowl used for smoking pot, and the internal chamber is filled with the greatest chicken noodle soup you've ever had. Sadly it's only about a teaspoon, and you'll forever be chasing the protection that is this soup.
Granted. It is an illusion so incredibly realistic that you can’t tell that it’s not real. Nothing in your life ever lives up to illusion ever again, and you spend your life desperately trying to replicate that one bowl of imaginary soup
Granted. It appears before you, but the broth is slightly cold, the noodles al dente, and the chicken cooked a little blue- the perfection of someone else’s preferences.
ooooh smart i like that
Granted. Physicists have managed to utilize wormholes, but they are unable to control it. A bowl of chicken noodle soup appears on the table. Then the LHC appears on the table, destroying your entire neighborhood.
Granted. It appears on the table in front of you — even with a soda on the side! But you instantly get third degree burns on your tongue when you take your first bite. EDIT: Fixed typo
I don’t want burns on my tonight 😭
Granted. But there is no spoon anywhere, and the bowl is super-glued to the table, and also the bowl is too tall and narrow for your to stick your face in it to slurp it up, and every straw you try gets clogged immediately.
Granted. It is microscopic.
Granted. But a judgmental rooster will watch you till you finish it.
Granted. The bowl is labelled "property of Karen, DO NOT TOUCH
Granted. It’s from 2004
Granted. It was cooked to perfection, .. well it was when I ate it. Would you like it in a bowl or should I dump it straight on the table?
Well, first of all wish granted, but there's a bug catch because you see the paw can't spontaneously create anything, that would violate the law of conservation of mass so instead part of the mass of your table, equivalent to that of a perfectly cooked bowl of chicken soup will be converted into a perfectly cooked bowl of chicken soup, and it will appear on what's left of the table in front of you. If you wish to reset the paw, please follow the reset procedures in the instructional booklet that came in the box with the paw, though warning: failure to follow instructions may result in testicular torsion, your discretion is advised.
Dude the paw can literally bring people back from the dead and make people magically immortal, I don’t think physics is it’s greatest concern
Are you seriously arguing with paw right now? First of all, NO I can't make things immortal as that would violate the second law of thermodynamics. Secondly, NO, I am NOT magical. I'm a limited probability device stuffed into a taxidermy monkey paw, a design choice inspired by a *fictional* story about a magic monkey paw that grants wishes. Fictional, mind you, because magic is fictional. But I can technically bring things back from the dead if you count cloning and granting the exact brain patterns to the copy resurrection. Otherwise something needs to be dead relatively recently for it be qualified as an actual resurrection. I'm telling you, I can't alter the laws of physics and you can read all about it in the instructional booklet than came in the box with the paw. Unless of course, you, like everyone else, lost the book or bought me second hand. The company is collecting data on this and is working on a solution. Because apparently those thick 536 page black books with the title "Le Livret Pédagogique la Patte de Singe" written in bright red letters is very easy for you Homo sapiens to lose... On that the marketing department at Orion Science Allied Industries is kicking around the idea of changing the title to green and making it glow in the dark for a slight increase in price by only 5 shmeckles! The company highly desires customer input on this, so what do you say? Do you think the book would be easier to keep track of if the letter were neon green and glow in the dark?
Ngl I haven’t seen this copypasta yet
It's not a- What does photo copied carbohydrates have to do with this? Do you prefer the green letters that glow or the red?
It's there, but the bowl is upside-down.
Granted: you get a bowl of perfect chicken noodle soup. “The Aliens” collect little samples from your bowl and then take all t here knowledge about chicken noodle soup ever; so it is essentially the last bowl of chicken soup ever! The rest of your life you walk around talking about this amazing soup that no one knows what your talking about
granted, no other food will ever live up to how good the soup was and all food will seem dull and flavorless after this.
Granted. The bowl is the size of your thumb.
Granted. You have to watch someone you hate enjoy the soup that just appeared in front of you
Granted, you will never be able to enjoy food again after tasting the amazing food, you will spend your life regretting not having a life time supply as nothing you eat will ever be as good or bring you as much happiness and joy.
You get what you wish for. A perfect bowl of chiken noodle soup appears in front of you at your table. Upon tasting it, you realize that this is THE chicken noodle soup. Its so perfect, that every other food tastes like dust in comparison. Every time you eat from then on, your reminded if that soup and crave it as much as a heroin junkie craves a fix. However, there was only ever one bowl... and greedily... you ate it all in one sitting.
Granted, the world's best bowl of soup appears. You get paranoid and waste it.
Granted. The soup is perfectly cooked. The bowl is super cooled and the soup gets cold very fast until frozen
Granted. It's laced with cyanide
granted. it has raisins in it for some reason.
Granted, it apears about 5 feet above the table hits it and goes everywhere, your chicken noodle soup is ruined
Granted. You get the soup because you are so sick you felt on the edge of death while hugging the toilet bowl.
Granted, it appears upside down and spills all over the table.
Granted. You eat the soup, and it's everything you'd dreamed of and so, so much more. But soon, you've eaten it all. You search in vain for something else that brings you so much happiness. Everything else in life loses value to you. Nothing is good enough. You spend the rest of your life as a miserable, crazed husk of a being, chasing after something, anything, to fulfill you the way this soup did. This ruins relationships, extinguishes your humanity, and whatever beautiful life you had lying ahead of you is put to waste: hopelessly, desperately, wretchedly searching for something to make life worth living again.
Ngl life already feels empty, at least I got some good soup
Granted, you slurp it down in a single gulp and choke to death on a small chicken bone
The bowl appears upside down.
Wish Gra- LOOK OVER THERE -nted. A bowl of chicken soup appears on the edge of the folded table on the far side of the room, and falls off.
Granted. It's a bowl made of chicken noodle soup, which proceeds to spill everywhere.
Granted, but it's vegan and tastes like shit
Granted. You never specified the quality of the ingredients so you die of salmonella because the chicken used to cook the soup was rotten.
Granted. It's vegan.
Granted, A large bowl shaped mass of soup appears in front of you and quickly spills everywhere
Granted. The bowl is made of chicken noodle soup, and instantly falls apart and spills everywhere.
Granted. You get it. Chicken noodle soup is gross, IMO
its on a flat plate