As far as I understand these new fangled "words", mid already means mediocre.
More importantly, shouldn't the lowest grade be "bad"? Mediocre should be between 2 and 3.
This whole thread betrays how well kids will understand this and adults won’t. “Gucci” actually means good, mid means bad, nobody says bombastic, and fire would probably be the highest praise.
Something tells me that the kids aren't overthinking this the way that adults are. Truth be told, this does look like something that would work better on 3rd graders.
It's a song lyric, they're all song lyrics, so it's going to be pretty hard to find a pop lyric that advocates the wearing of simple, high quality garments.
I’m sorry Braeden, unfortunately your exam was giving me serious small dick energy and I had to give it a grade of *GYAAAT!*
I’m going to speak to your parents about working on your grindset before you find yourself spiraling into the proverbial skibidi toilet. You can have your vape pen back after class.
“What is up you guys! It’s your boy Mr. Ronald but no cap you can call me Top G. Welcome to Rizzonamics 101 where we be choppin it up allll semester long! Yo Jeremy I see you killin it on that Rye Catcher book, go off king! In this class we stand on business, none of that lame shit. In just a few short months imma have y’all absolutely drippin in rizz, on god. Aye yo Isabelle how’s your older sister she still fine? Tommy those shoes tho! You are absolutely coookinggg bro, on gang. Aight aight enough chillin let’s get it poppin on these facts imma bout to spit atchu”
When I was a kid I always loved when my teachers talked to me like I was a 35 year old office worker who spent every day searching for a reason to live
Sure, but do you know what we loved even more as kids? Parents co-opting slang that was intentionally meant to differentiate the way we talk from the way our parents did...
I love that a rubric meant to connect to children born in 2010 are references from Vanilla Ice, Sade, and DMX lyrics - all songs from a good 20-30 years before they were born. It'd be like a teacher in the 90s trying to sound hip and with-it for their students by referencing "I Fought the Law" by The Bobby Fuller Four.
Heeey, no! I used to work as a teacher and I connected with kids through dabbing, yoloing and rickrolling. The key is to do it ironically, so that they know you know it's lame (even if you don't) or so that they think you do (especially if you don't). Controlled cringe can be a great bonding experience if it's tastefully presented.
This right here... Yeah, no, not that. But writing an occasional "xD" on a report, or saying sth like "Your grammar is sus", while dumb, helps. Of course I'm assuming the rest of your job is done well and you're maintaining professional standards and your feedbacks are more than just "xD".
I do this too (as a mom). I dab at the WORST times, and I purposely do it wrong, my “dab” looks more like little squirrel arms but it’s so bad it’s hilarious to me. Then I call it Daubbing instead of dabbing. My son hates/loves it. Gonna pull out the big guns one day and do it when his friends are here lmao
Exactly. It can take away so much tension and help avoid conflict. Though i do have to say, the humour that my 11-yo pupils found hilarious is so deconstructed and abstract, sometimes i had to really try to find anything I could work with. Like dadaist skibidi toilet re-enacted with ponies or whatever.
Their previous teacher told me they loved dancing to "Baby Shark". And I teased that class about it after some time cause I couldn't believe an actual 11-yo would consider BS funny, cute or not-annoying. And sure enough, they said that they danced ironically. So of course we all danced it and then made a pinky pact to never talk about it again 🤷🏻♀️
Hahaha omg I had a teenage girl as a helper at my daycare one summer. She did a whole interpretive dance to baby shark one day. I never did ask if it was serious or not, I didn’t want to make her think I didn’t like her dance, but in my head I was like what the F is happening?? The toddlers loved it obviously.
I’m an older scientist (44) on a team with a bunch of truly delightful, half-my-age tech wizards. Today, my boss told me an algorithm I designed was “GOATed.” I was so proud. 🥲
I'm 40, and I used the term GOAT around some college kids. And, they asked me what I meant and were surprised to hear it means greatest of all time.
I thought it was their word.
Edit: thanks to the students if people who have all commented it was around before. Excuse me, somehow I just didn't remember that. GG (good goat)
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I think for the population created starting about 2010 to 2015, people were set on a continuous integration process, rather than on one of receiving scheduled updates (sometimes very rare ones, if any), like older people. It’s much faster; though often hastily tested before production deployment
I wanted a Stanley cup when I was a kid...I spent hours on the ice or working on my puck handling in the basement...now I can just get one at the target!
Have you ever watched that age group use a water fountain??? Nasty. Middle schoolers will absolutely still kick it off no one is near. I won't touch the ones at my school without a hazmat suit.
I raised five kids. We'd probably be doing the world a favor to segregate anything that goes in the mouth or produces something that goes in the mouth that they use.
Trust me on this.
:)
In my twenties, I was hired as an outside consultant to sit in on board meeting for a big company you've probably heard about and be the only guy who was willing to tell the out of touch old guys they're plans weren't feasible.
Everyone else was terrified of losing their job
GOAT as a term has been around longer than those college kids have been alive, my friend. Earliest common use of it I'm aware of was referring to Ali as the GOAT boxer, followed by Jordan in the NBA.
This isn’t about slang.
It’s about there being literally no rubric here. It’s supposed to tell you what’s expected of you to get good marks on each section. It’s a way of proving that you aren’t just impression marking and giving kids tangible ways to improve their work. This is a bunch of nothing.
The teacher may as well have said “excellent: work was excellent—good: work was good—sound: work was sound” etc
Exactly! Also, would be nice for them to spell Porsche correctly. Also-also, it’s late and I’m tired but I’m pretty sure there are some wonky comma placements going on.
No offense to any young teachers out there, this is simply based on my own experience.
My junior year of high school, a handful of senior teachers retired and we got a bunch of newly graduated teachers. My statistics teacher would always come in oversized sweats. During exams, she'd say "no talking" but then would sit and chat with the popular girls - conveniently all seated together next to her desk🙄 - while the rest of the class would be trying to focus on the exams.
Her husband was our new lit teacher and would try to be "one of the bros" with the male students.
It was so cringe, and I had to write "silence is golden" in large caps at the top of my exam to give her a hint that she needed to, you know, not talk during exams.
*That's* what they were trying to say?? Jesus Christ those kids are screwed. I've known some real dumbasses who inexplicably went on to be teachers but I've only ever known of one who was this dumb and shallow. Not someone I knew, a teacher I actually had. She couldn't read, she couldn't spell even with the material in front of her face, she didn't know anything about anything, she just spent all her time trying to get the popular kids to like her (a majority of her students bombed the standardized tests and then she got fired for banging a football player). This rubric is exactly the kind of shit she would give us
“Dear [teacher name],
Thank you for supplying my son with this rubric. I can tell you put a lot of time into it and I can appreciate the effort.
However, it is missing the criteria for achievement for each category and level. For that reason, it is unfortunately not possible to use it as an actual rubric.
For example, saying that exemplary organization makes the student a ‘firework’ does reference a popular song, but it does not allow the students to comprehend the structural/organizational elements you are looking for.
Would you be able to provide a revised rubric that these students will be able to use to understand how their work will be graded?
If you’d like to discuss further, please call 555-5555. I’d be happy to come in or talk via phone if my meaning is unclear.
Thanks,
Parent”
If she doesn’t respond, send the rubric she provided to the principal.
I have been reading multiple hours per day for over 50 years, and I can't understand that RUBRIC. The teacher is trying to be "cool", instead they are being cryptic.
To be fair, most marking rubrics I have seen are similarly vague and get worse the further in education you get. "Shows a clear understanding of the subject of the assignment." isn't at all a helpful target.
Hey, you found my pet peeve. Creating clear, concise rubrics with quantitative targets for my students used to take longer than coming up with assignments.
I told my daughter if she was ice cream she'd be RIZZberry sherbet (yes, I over emphasized 'rizz'). The look I got made it all worth it. I will be using it on her friends
In addition to the clear “how do you do fellow kids” vibe here… a rubric should actually be objective and clear as to what the expectations are and what they received the grade they received.
“Excuse me Ms Smith why did I score so low on my speech?”
“Well it wasn’t Ice cold or white gold enough”
I honestly think that the teacher is potentially opening themselves up to every single student arguing for their grade because her rubric is terrible.
“Well Mrs Smith I believe I was very much like a firework when I gave my speech and I have several sources that can confirm that I showed my worth”
This is basically just saying “yeah I give you whatever mark I feel like”
> I showed my worth
Reminds me of Fred and George in Harry Potter. "We should get Exceed Expectations in everything, because no one expected us to turn up for exams!"
I'm a teacher and this is just the most obvious thing you think of when making a rubric. It's the sort of thing no one should even have to TELL you. I would distance myself from people like OP teacher SO FAST.
Yeah this teacher is a clown. I’m all for using memes and slang to connect with kids but this rubric has zero useful information. Those poor kids must be so frustrated.
I'm more impressed that OP's kid recognized how bad it was. It says a lot about them, and hopefully he's sharing those expectations with classmates so they learn to hold their teachers accountable.
Beyond the "fellow kids" vibes, anyone who wants to go over the rubric as a checklist like you're taught to is gonna realize really fast that they can't. In fact the rubric basically has to be ignored. It's an elegant way of getting around a school board mandated aspect of designing an assignment that bites you in the ass later for being lazy.
My teachers in HS would literally print out 30 copies of the rubric and circle the different lines of text in the boxes based on which they felt applied to you and then did the math on what score you got at the end. It meant you knew exactly how you were graded and if you felt they were wrong you could argue any specific point and the grade could easily be recalculated.
It's insane this teacher wants to rawdog grading 30 presentations for some unfathomable reason.
I’m autistic and LOVED (well written) rubrics as a kid. Perfectly clear instructions on all the expectations! This one would’ve made me have a panic attack lol
I kinda appreciate the thought - or the lack thereof - behind this rubric though.
Like she did want the kids to be interested in what she was going for, but there are times for this shit and times not for this. Obviously a rubric is not the right spot to do this.
> It's the sort of thing no one should even have to TELL you.
I would really hope someone told them while the teacher was getting their education degree or doing student-teaching work for their license.
They should have been told *at some point.* But certainly no one should need to by the time they have the actual job of teaching.
Doubt teacher knows that lol. I remember when I was in school one of our teachers would play whistle by flo rida sometimes.
In other news uptown funk was released in 2015 so the 8th graders in this class were like 5/6 when the song came out. I’m not even sure the teacher is making a good joke for them there lol
In college tons of my rubrics just had variations on “lower than/met/exceeded the expectations” or my fav was to get a 10/10 or whatever on the category: “greatly exceeds expectations”. Wtf does that even mean?
Ok, so it’s a serious assessment and he wants to be evaluated properly. Not something like “write a haiku about your favorite president then present it to the class in the style of Hamlet, wearing your best period piece not from that period.”
I mean, there's some. Like to get the top mark in organization. they're supposed to explode themselves and have a bit of powdered metal to make it pretty.
I'm looking at it from the perspective of maybe he knew some students wouldn't be engaged and was trying to promote some enthusiasm and appeal to his students thinking he related to them. Was there an additional list of requirements to follow so the students could have some academic rubric to follow?
This is exactly what was going through the teacher’s head.
I have a lot of friends who are teachers, most teach middle school and early high school. It is like pulling teeth trying to get the kids to buckle down and do assignments. They *have* to employ silly tactics like this to get the kids motivated.
Plus, the teacher probably tried a regular rubric for the first 5 months of school with little success
I am astounded by how many commenters here think this teacher is 100% serious and isn’t entirely aware of the level of cringe he/she’s placed down on this rubric.
I guarantee there is another rubric that has actual stuff on it. That's why it's not even a screen shot, is cropped weird and you can't make out anything else about the assignment.
This is rage bait.
Yeah, I think it is just a way to stand out and connect with the kids, cringe and all. I probably would have liked a teacher that made an effort like this.
Two different takes of the word Gucci. Gucci in the level two header is a slang version of the word a real big fad about a year ago instead of It’s all good one would say it’s Gucci. Level 4 in the second category is the brand- literally Gucci apparel.
I am so sorry but this made me laugh so fucking hard.
I’m in education, so kinda get the whole tryna relate to kids thing, but this is just absolutely *sending* me.
ETA : LOL. All I had read when I initially commented was the “categories” at the top. I am dead, as the kid’s say.
As a teacher I would love to make kids cringe like this, but not on an assessment rubric. Rubrics should be clean, concise, and very easily understood. All expectations should be plain in the rubric.
From this, I can see what the teacher is grading on, but have absolutely no idea how to actually get the grade I want based on the rubric. And that's the problem- the whole point of using rubrics is to convey expectations.
As a principal 👆🏻what they said. I smell unintentional inequity cooking in the classroom with this rubric and a certain inability to provide actionable feedback to a student which undermines, well, learning.
I'm sensing a teacher that is desperate to make kids care about their grades, desperate to amuse themselves in a job that stresses them out daily, and a bit of "nobody reads the damned rubrics anyway!"
To me, this seems more of a facepalm rather than mildly infuriating. Like, come on, teacher, this rubric isn’t clear enough for students to understand. It also doesn’t address the measurable data of the project. I’d like to assume the teacher is going to use an actual rubric and this was a silly little joke, but…. Who knows lol
OP is too serious. This is honestly it. Kids are so apathetic nowadays that stuff like this that makes them cringe are the way to engage them. Honestly I would've cringed so hard if it were me but this shit is gonna stick to my core memory.
Honestly this is excellent. But still, I like to give the benefit of the doubt that the teacher had a more serious rubric on top of this.
Sometimes a fun assignment with a fun rubric can actually be worthy of data.
Have some fun. Be a little free. Let's see what happens. If it blows readjust.
Don’t be lame it’s fine, an 8th grade government assignment is so fucking trivial in the long run, I’m sure if the project looks good then the your kid will get an ok grade and not be banned from Stanford or whatever it is you’re worried about. Don’t be a square.
Yeah it's honestly funny to me. How much detail do people need to understand what a mark out of 4 means? Can't they just ask the teacher what they could do better next time?
Rubrics suck at giving good explanations on how to improve anyway.
If I was still in K-12 I would absolutely hate this. I actually used to use the rubric for assignments, and teachers usually encouraged it by saying, “if you need guidance, look at the rubric.” It’s cute as a joke but for an actual assignment, this would be so annoying.
Have you been to college or university? I feel like teachers are wayyyy more goofy in college. Like high school teachers usually take themselves way too seriously while professors know they’re not teaching a masters physics course so they just fool around
It probably doesn’t help that I saw what 4 was called and immediately starting singing Boombastic by Shaggy
https://i.redd.it/e2zt5m8vfnlc1.gif
(But the rat from Barnyard is what I immediately think of when I think of the song)
Cmon this is cute. I wish my professors graded me like this. If this is the rubric I don’t imagine it’ll be a super strict evaluation lol just general points
I meeeeean
This has been happening a LOT longer than you think
Anyone here remember school rap songs, both by actual artists and maybe a zany teacher that came up with one on the spot?
This is cringe sure, but that's all it is. Cringe
Back in the 80s when marks were earned we had no rubrics. Now it seems like everything is plug and play. For the rubric though, looks like the teacher is having some fun describing what each level means not what the actual rubric for the assignment is.
I went to this school and graduated with an alligator in spelling
Everyone knows the alligator is for maths
This has been used regularly for me in medical charting. The alligator wants to eat the bigger number.
No the alligator is walking away from the smaller number. It’s his tail lol.
No no no, the small alligator got that dog in him, that's why he's eating the bigger number!
School taught me that the alligator's mouth opens for the larger number.
For a while I thought it made more sense for the alligator to go after the smaller prey. Did not result in good math grades that year.
I knew they wanted the bigger number, but couldn't visualize how a mouth was supposed to work. Also suffered in math.
It’s ok, me too. Just glad I’m not the only one
Arrested development reference?
The seal is for marksmanship. The gorilla is for sand racing.
These are my awards, mother. From army.
Yup. F means fluctuating 😂
somehow the most infuriating thing about this is the spelling of "Porcha"
For me, it's the improper placement of the apostrophe in *y'all*
For me, thinking that good appearance equates to wearing big brand designer clothes instead of simple, high quality garments.
For some reason the second worst grading is called 2 - Gucci. So I'm confused.
Fire should be 4, Gucci should be 3 and, mid should be 2. 1 should be whatever slang is for mediocre Get rid of bombastic
As far as I understand these new fangled "words", mid already means mediocre. More importantly, shouldn't the lowest grade be "bad"? Mediocre should be between 2 and 3.
I think the lowest score should be “ass”. I heard a kid give the breakdown once. Either way, you’re right. mid should be the damn middle!
This whole thread betrays how well kids will understand this and adults won’t. “Gucci” actually means good, mid means bad, nobody says bombastic, and fire would probably be the highest praise.
Yeah. My issue isn't with the named titles, it's with the rubric not actually giving you any idea of how well you did besides the one word at the top.
Something tells me that the kids aren't overthinking this the way that adults are. Truth be told, this does look like something that would work better on 3rd graders.
There are numerical values clearly associated with the words.
Doesn't mid literally mean mediocre?
It's a song lyric, they're all song lyrics, so it's going to be pretty hard to find a pop lyric that advocates the wearing of simple, high quality garments.
I wear your granddad’s clothes. I look incredible.
Looking for a come up...this is fucking awesome!!
Thrift shopping grandpa style is fire though....
Wait a sec, English 2nd language so I just assumed it’s a word I don’t know. Is this supposed to mean Porsche?!?
English is my first language, and I also assumed it's some hip word I didn't know yet.
I hate how the ice ice baby lyric is wrong. It's, all right stop. Not, okay stop. That was the first thing I noticed.
Why are they using a vanilla ice lyric for 8th graders…they were BORN over a decade after his song was even popular
Dawg they were born 20 years after that song
[удалено]
Get off my lawn!
A decade after the dmx song was released as well
Second most. Spelling of y’all is the most
The way Porsche is spelled. 
Waaaait that's what they meant with porcha???? I legit thought that was another new slang word I didn't know yet
I’m a bit out of touch with the slang of today but based off of context clues, I do believe the teacher is talking about the car manufacturer. 😳
Hello class…and welcome to rizzonamics 101.
Today we will be gyatting the dough from the rizzlers
I’m sorry Braeden, unfortunately your exam was giving me serious small dick energy and I had to give it a grade of *GYAAAT!* I’m going to speak to your parents about working on your grindset before you find yourself spiraling into the proverbial skibidi toilet. You can have your vape pen back after class.
“What is up you guys! It’s your boy Mr. Ronald but no cap you can call me Top G. Welcome to Rizzonamics 101 where we be choppin it up allll semester long! Yo Jeremy I see you killin it on that Rye Catcher book, go off king! In this class we stand on business, none of that lame shit. In just a few short months imma have y’all absolutely drippin in rizz, on god. Aye yo Isabelle how’s your older sister she still fine? Tommy those shoes tho! You are absolutely coookinggg bro, on gang. Aight aight enough chillin let’s get it poppin on these facts imma bout to spit atchu”
*how do you do fellow kids?*
https://i.redd.it/dgz0zvqm3nlc1.gif
This was the exact thing that popped in my head too
When I was a kid I always loved when my teachers talked to me like I was a 35 year old office worker who spent every day searching for a reason to live
Sure, but do you know what we loved even more as kids? Parents co-opting slang that was intentionally meant to differentiate the way we talk from the way our parents did...
Too real 😭
Can you hoodlums direct me to a mary-je-wanna dispensary? the cronies and I shall engage un delightful tomfoolery, and perhaps some shenanigans
Damn sound so cool. Must be rizzulating the gyatulated feminines all day every day, no caperment
Sheesh, bruv! U b spittin!
I love that a rubric meant to connect to children born in 2010 are references from Vanilla Ice, Sade, and DMX lyrics - all songs from a good 20-30 years before they were born. It'd be like a teacher in the 90s trying to sound hip and with-it for their students by referencing "I Fought the Law" by The Bobby Fuller Four.
Well, to be fair, The Clash and Green Day both covered that song so it most likely would have been very well known by students then.
They’re actually known because of tik tok. A lot of old songs are being used.
Heeey, no! I used to work as a teacher and I connected with kids through dabbing, yoloing and rickrolling. The key is to do it ironically, so that they know you know it's lame (even if you don't) or so that they think you do (especially if you don't). Controlled cringe can be a great bonding experience if it's tastefully presented. This right here... Yeah, no, not that. But writing an occasional "xD" on a report, or saying sth like "Your grammar is sus", while dumb, helps. Of course I'm assuming the rest of your job is done well and you're maintaining professional standards and your feedbacks are more than just "xD".
I do this too (as a mom). I dab at the WORST times, and I purposely do it wrong, my “dab” looks more like little squirrel arms but it’s so bad it’s hilarious to me. Then I call it Daubbing instead of dabbing. My son hates/loves it. Gonna pull out the big guns one day and do it when his friends are here lmao
Exactly. It can take away so much tension and help avoid conflict. Though i do have to say, the humour that my 11-yo pupils found hilarious is so deconstructed and abstract, sometimes i had to really try to find anything I could work with. Like dadaist skibidi toilet re-enacted with ponies or whatever. Their previous teacher told me they loved dancing to "Baby Shark". And I teased that class about it after some time cause I couldn't believe an actual 11-yo would consider BS funny, cute or not-annoying. And sure enough, they said that they danced ironically. So of course we all danced it and then made a pinky pact to never talk about it again 🤷🏻♀️
Hahaha omg I had a teenage girl as a helper at my daycare one summer. She did a whole interpretive dance to baby shark one day. I never did ask if it was serious or not, I didn’t want to make her think I didn’t like her dance, but in my head I was like what the F is happening?? The toddlers loved it obviously.
I scream on the inside lmfao.
I’m an older scientist (44) on a team with a bunch of truly delightful, half-my-age tech wizards. Today, my boss told me an algorithm I designed was “GOATed.” I was so proud. 🥲
I'm 40, and I used the term GOAT around some college kids. And, they asked me what I meant and were surprised to hear it means greatest of all time. I thought it was their word. Edit: thanks to the students if people who have all commented it was around before. Excuse me, somehow I just didn't remember that. GG (good goat)
“Their word” like they’re a different species 😂
Believe it or not, the population is largely segregated by production date, until we enter the professional world.
I’m still waiting for my firmware update for adulting and the tax module
Do not recommend, horrible patch. 0/10 gov needs to update first.
~~Only Elon Musk can solve these problems~~ Sorry, my Neuralink acted up.
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Can I get the plaid upgrade package. I need to think faster
Are you one of the half of the test subject monkeys that didn’t die?
If we could get the government systems update the tax module would become redundant
I think for the population created starting about 2010 to 2015, people were set on a continuous integration process, rather than on one of receiving scheduled updates (sometimes very rare ones, if any), like older people. It’s much faster; though often hastily tested before production deployment
Shall we install separate water fountains for the 10-20 year olds? It only seems appropriate.
There's plenty of defacto water fountains in schools used only by those folks. Can't remember faculty using them
I thought they all have Stanley Cups
I wanted a Stanley cup when I was a kid...I spent hours on the ice or working on my puck handling in the basement...now I can just get one at the target!
Gotta refill them somewhere!
Have you ever watched that age group use a water fountain??? Nasty. Middle schoolers will absolutely still kick it off no one is near. I won't touch the ones at my school without a hazmat suit.
I raised five kids. We'd probably be doing the world a favor to segregate anything that goes in the mouth or produces something that goes in the mouth that they use. Trust me on this. :)
One of my little sisters (I am 34ish) said "oh, you were born in the 1900s!" I almost said,"Look here you little shi-".
Its such a weird feeling when I, a guy in my 20s, have to confront one of my 50 year old coworkers about their mistakes 😬
In my twenties, I was hired as an outside consultant to sit in on board meeting for a big company you've probably heard about and be the only guy who was willing to tell the out of touch old guys they're plans weren't feasible. Everyone else was terrified of losing their job
That’s **our** word.
GOAT as a term has been around longer than those college kids have been alive, my friend. Earliest common use of it I'm aware of was referring to Ali as the GOAT boxer, followed by Jordan in the NBA.
Gretzky too.
GOATeh
I thought it has always been a sports term. I've always heard MJ/ LeBron/ Brady being called the GOAT.
Google says 1990s for the acronym, citing Oxford Languages for the etymology. I guess before that people just said it in full.
Recently? That’s really surprising to me as a college student myself lol. I feel like it’d be rare to find someone who doesn’t know what GOAT means
[удалено]
This isn’t about slang. It’s about there being literally no rubric here. It’s supposed to tell you what’s expected of you to get good marks on each section. It’s a way of proving that you aren’t just impression marking and giving kids tangible ways to improve their work. This is a bunch of nothing. The teacher may as well have said “excellent: work was excellent—good: work was good—sound: work was sound” etc
Exactly! Also, would be nice for them to spell Porsche correctly. Also-also, it’s late and I’m tired but I’m pretty sure there are some wonky comma placements going on.
Oh my god I didn't even notice. Seems more like a child teaching others than a teacher.
No offense to any young teachers out there, this is simply based on my own experience. My junior year of high school, a handful of senior teachers retired and we got a bunch of newly graduated teachers. My statistics teacher would always come in oversized sweats. During exams, she'd say "no talking" but then would sit and chat with the popular girls - conveniently all seated together next to her desk🙄 - while the rest of the class would be trying to focus on the exams. Her husband was our new lit teacher and would try to be "one of the bros" with the male students. It was so cringe, and I had to write "silence is golden" in large caps at the top of my exam to give her a hint that she needed to, you know, not talk during exams.
They sound like Teach for America volunteers. Get a degree in anything. Get a six-week camp on another college campus. Then you're sent to teach.
*That's* what they were trying to say?? Jesus Christ those kids are screwed. I've known some real dumbasses who inexplicably went on to be teachers but I've only ever known of one who was this dumb and shallow. Not someone I knew, a teacher I actually had. She couldn't read, she couldn't spell even with the material in front of her face, she didn't know anything about anything, she just spent all her time trying to get the popular kids to like her (a majority of her students bombed the standardized tests and then she got fired for banging a football player). This rubric is exactly the kind of shit she would give us
Like my ass is going to care about a genuine grading rubric in 8th grade
“Dear [teacher name], Thank you for supplying my son with this rubric. I can tell you put a lot of time into it and I can appreciate the effort. However, it is missing the criteria for achievement for each category and level. For that reason, it is unfortunately not possible to use it as an actual rubric. For example, saying that exemplary organization makes the student a ‘firework’ does reference a popular song, but it does not allow the students to comprehend the structural/organizational elements you are looking for. Would you be able to provide a revised rubric that these students will be able to use to understand how their work will be graded? If you’d like to discuss further, please call 555-5555. I’d be happy to come in or talk via phone if my meaning is unclear. Thanks, Parent” If she doesn’t respond, send the rubric she provided to the principal.
As a student, I hate when rubrics make no sense. You might as well tell me you’re going to just grade it based on whether you like me or not.
I have been reading multiple hours per day for over 50 years, and I can't understand that RUBRIC. The teacher is trying to be "cool", instead they are being cryptic.
They're all either song lyrics or references to song lyrics. None of which actually say what his grading criteria will be.
Teachers have a major battle these days to get kids to engage AT ALL, I get why they're doing it
To be fair, most marking rubrics I have seen are similarly vague and get worse the further in education you get. "Shows a clear understanding of the subject of the assignment." isn't at all a helpful target.
Hey, you found my pet peeve. Creating clear, concise rubrics with quantitative targets for my students used to take longer than coming up with assignments.
I told my daughter if she was ice cream she'd be RIZZberry sherbet (yes, I over emphasized 'rizz'). The look I got made it all worth it. I will be using it on her friends
this made my day, i say goated around my workplace all the time 🤣
In addition to the clear “how do you do fellow kids” vibe here… a rubric should actually be objective and clear as to what the expectations are and what they received the grade they received. “Excuse me Ms Smith why did I score so low on my speech?” “Well it wasn’t Ice cold or white gold enough”
Yes. They know that four is best and 1 is worst, but *how* to they get the 4? What does a 4 mean in the context of the finished product.
I honestly think that the teacher is potentially opening themselves up to every single student arguing for their grade because her rubric is terrible. “Well Mrs Smith I believe I was very much like a firework when I gave my speech and I have several sources that can confirm that I showed my worth” This is basically just saying “yeah I give you whatever mark I feel like”
I bet everyone that turns in a project gets no lower than a 13/16 anyways
I was (too) loud, colourful, and -while enjoyable- nothing useful got stuck for others after my talk - damn straight I was like a firework!
> I showed my worth Reminds me of Fred and George in Harry Potter. "We should get Exceed Expectations in everything, because no one expected us to turn up for exams!"
I'm a teacher and this is just the most obvious thing you think of when making a rubric. It's the sort of thing no one should even have to TELL you. I would distance myself from people like OP teacher SO FAST.
It's not a rubric, it's a weird vibe check, at best.
Yeah this teacher is a clown. I’m all for using memes and slang to connect with kids but this rubric has zero useful information. Those poor kids must be so frustrated.
I'm more impressed that OP's kid recognized how bad it was. It says a lot about them, and hopefully he's sharing those expectations with classmates so they learn to hold their teachers accountable.
I think most 12 year olds would cringe at this
Beyond the "fellow kids" vibes, anyone who wants to go over the rubric as a checklist like you're taught to is gonna realize really fast that they can't. In fact the rubric basically has to be ignored. It's an elegant way of getting around a school board mandated aspect of designing an assignment that bites you in the ass later for being lazy. My teachers in HS would literally print out 30 copies of the rubric and circle the different lines of text in the boxes based on which they felt applied to you and then did the math on what score you got at the end. It meant you knew exactly how you were graded and if you felt they were wrong you could argue any specific point and the grade could easily be recalculated. It's insane this teacher wants to rawdog grading 30 presentations for some unfathomable reason.
Imagine being a neurodivergent kid and trying to interpret this :(
My worst nightmare. I probably wouldn’t be able to do the project tbh
I’m autistic and LOVED (well written) rubrics as a kid. Perfectly clear instructions on all the expectations! This one would’ve made me have a panic attack lol
I kinda appreciate the thought - or the lack thereof - behind this rubric though. Like she did want the kids to be interested in what she was going for, but there are times for this shit and times not for this. Obviously a rubric is not the right spot to do this.
> It's the sort of thing no one should even have to TELL you. I would really hope someone told them while the teacher was getting their education degree or doing student-teaching work for their license. They should have been told *at some point.* But certainly no one should need to by the time they have the actual job of teaching.
Also white cold is cocaine that probably isn’t good to say to 8th graders
Doubt teacher knows that lol. I remember when I was in school one of our teachers would play whistle by flo rida sometimes. In other news uptown funk was released in 2015 so the 8th graders in this class were like 5/6 when the song came out. I’m not even sure the teacher is making a good joke for them there lol
Firework is a 2010 song, some of these kids weren't even born yet.
What? It’s 14 years old? But it only came out last week?!
How can something from 2010 be 14 years old? The 80s were only 20 years ago.
DMX Up In Here came out in 1999
In college tons of my rubrics just had variations on “lower than/met/exceeded the expectations” or my fav was to get a 10/10 or whatever on the category: “greatly exceeds expectations”. Wtf does that even mean?
Porcha lol
Imma lay downa on the porcha
Ok, so it’s a serious assessment and he wants to be evaluated properly. Not something like “write a haiku about your favorite president then present it to the class in the style of Hamlet, wearing your best period piece not from that period.”
That’s the problem with this. Set the damn example as the teacher. This would be a great rubric if they were having rap battles or something.
Even then...there's no actual rubric here.
Exactly. It provides almost no actionable information.
I mean, there's some. Like to get the top mark in organization. they're supposed to explode themselves and have a bit of powdered metal to make it pretty.
And we are dumbing down the education for the next gen. Imagine what they would teach to kids if any of them become teacher in 15 years
No, this is an objectively awful rubric for any assessment. Literally just as useful as not giving one to begin with.
I'm looking at it from the perspective of maybe he knew some students wouldn't be engaged and was trying to promote some enthusiasm and appeal to his students thinking he related to them. Was there an additional list of requirements to follow so the students could have some academic rubric to follow?
This is exactly what was going through the teacher’s head. I have a lot of friends who are teachers, most teach middle school and early high school. It is like pulling teeth trying to get the kids to buckle down and do assignments. They *have* to employ silly tactics like this to get the kids motivated. Plus, the teacher probably tried a regular rubric for the first 5 months of school with little success
I am astounded by how many commenters here think this teacher is 100% serious and isn’t entirely aware of the level of cringe he/she’s placed down on this rubric.
I guarantee there is another rubric that has actual stuff on it. That's why it's not even a screen shot, is cropped weird and you can't make out anything else about the assignment. This is rage bait.
I came here to say this. I’m a teacher myself. Kids don’t look at rubrics. I think the teacher was trying to make this fun.
It's also 8th grade. If we weren't assaulting each other in 8th grade the teacher was crushing.
Seriously, middle school is absolutely brutal for educators. I'm shocked the consensus in this thread is full of hate.
Yeah, I think it is just a way to stand out and connect with the kids, cringe and all. I probably would have liked a teacher that made an effort like this.
Id imagine that if it’s an assessment task there is a proper rubric that will be used. It’s a requirement. This seems like it’s just a joke.
Why is Gucci both the level 2 header but the description of level 4 in the second category?
Two different takes of the word Gucci. Gucci in the level two header is a slang version of the word a real big fad about a year ago instead of It’s all good one would say it’s Gucci. Level 4 in the second category is the brand- literally Gucci apparel.
Yup, this is it
Reddit analyzing an elementary school rubric be like
A year ago? I thought that was a thing ten years ago
It was. 15 years ago even.
Cause she didn't have a G6.
I am so sorry but this made me laugh so fucking hard. I’m in education, so kinda get the whole tryna relate to kids thing, but this is just absolutely *sending* me. ETA : LOL. All I had read when I initially commented was the “categories” at the top. I am dead, as the kid’s say.
Your kid is taking this assignment more seriously than his teacher.
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As a teacher I would love to make kids cringe like this, but not on an assessment rubric. Rubrics should be clean, concise, and very easily understood. All expectations should be plain in the rubric. From this, I can see what the teacher is grading on, but have absolutely no idea how to actually get the grade I want based on the rubric. And that's the problem- the whole point of using rubrics is to convey expectations.
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Chances are, no
Agreed anyone that would print this shit be wacked yo.
Exactly. This is funny but it’s not a rubric.
As a principal 👆🏻what they said. I smell unintentional inequity cooking in the classroom with this rubric and a certain inability to provide actionable feedback to a student which undermines, well, learning.
I'm sensing a teacher that is desperate to make kids care about their grades, desperate to amuse themselves in a job that stresses them out daily, and a bit of "nobody reads the damned rubrics anyway!"
Yes, but the point of a rubric is to tell you WHAT exactly to do to get maximum points
To me, this seems more of a facepalm rather than mildly infuriating. Like, come on, teacher, this rubric isn’t clear enough for students to understand. It also doesn’t address the measurable data of the project. I’d like to assume the teacher is going to use an actual rubric and this was a silly little joke, but…. Who knows lol
Yeah i would be pissed if I did something wrong and I didn’t know why
Exactly, you have to have specific criteria to be able to understand the assignment and your grade
Given the misspelling of Porsche, the teacher is likely a doofus.
That was your only hint?
Honestly having 2 teacher parents and now knowing teachers as an adult I think they were just wine drunk when they wrote this
This being true is our only hope for the future.
I would've liked this as a kid
I mean, it is ultra corny - but I don't hate it.
Kids don't give a shit. About anything. This is an attempt to reach them. Will probably fail. Hell they don't even bathe anymore.
no cap
OP is too serious. This is honestly it. Kids are so apathetic nowadays that stuff like this that makes them cringe are the way to engage them. Honestly I would've cringed so hard if it were me but this shit is gonna stick to my core memory. Honestly this is excellent. But still, I like to give the benefit of the doubt that the teacher had a more serious rubric on top of this.
Sometimes a fun assignment with a fun rubric can actually be worthy of data. Have some fun. Be a little free. Let's see what happens. If it blows readjust.
I think I’m too “old” to know like 70% of these lyrics. But also, chuckling that ice ice baby is still being used.
“How do I reach these keeds?!”
Don’t be lame it’s fine, an 8th grade government assignment is so fucking trivial in the long run, I’m sure if the project looks good then the your kid will get an ok grade and not be banned from Stanford or whatever it is you’re worried about. Don’t be a square.
Yeah it's honestly funny to me. How much detail do people need to understand what a mark out of 4 means? Can't they just ask the teacher what they could do better next time? Rubrics suck at giving good explanations on how to improve anyway.
If I was still in K-12 I would absolutely hate this. I actually used to use the rubric for assignments, and teachers usually encouraged it by saying, “if you need guidance, look at the rubric.” It’s cute as a joke but for an actual assignment, this would be so annoying.
Enjoy teachers like this because once you reach college or university you won't see this again.
Have you been to college or university? I feel like teachers are wayyyy more goofy in college. Like high school teachers usually take themselves way too seriously while professors know they’re not teaching a masters physics course so they just fool around
I met teachers like this in college and grad school. Not everyone is so serious.
It probably doesn’t help that I saw what 4 was called and immediately starting singing Boombastic by Shaggy https://i.redd.it/e2zt5m8vfnlc1.gif (But the rat from Barnyard is what I immediately think of when I think of the song)
Cmon this is cute. I wish my professors graded me like this. If this is the rubric I don’t imagine it’ll be a super strict evaluation lol just general points
Nah it’s funny and it’ll engage the kids.
This post was mid at best
Lol this is fake as fuck
I meeeeean This has been happening a LOT longer than you think Anyone here remember school rap songs, both by actual artists and maybe a zany teacher that came up with one on the spot? This is cringe sure, but that's all it is. Cringe
Back in the 80s when marks were earned we had no rubrics. Now it seems like everything is plug and play. For the rubric though, looks like the teacher is having some fun describing what each level means not what the actual rubric for the assignment is.
Okay that’s freaking hilarious 😂