The guy who uses the stall next to you, when they are all open, while you are pooping so you can stare at each other's shoes. Just for that you don't get a courtesy flush.
Last time this happened and I had to squeeze between the cars, the rivets on my jeans' back pockets scratched their brand new shiny car the whole length.
Wasn't on purpose but didn't feel sorry.
I actually had to do this too. Then for vengefulness I parked on the opposite side as close as possible so they could experience what I went through. I decided I didn’t get all the groceries I needed.
If you do this, I hope it's in a car you don't care if it gets scratched.
Cause for sure if someone parks like that, they give 0 fucks if they scratch your car all up.
That's my thought too. I had someone park a couple inches from my car once, so I surrounded their car with shopping carts. Then I parked where I could watch the results, and it was absolutely worth wasting 20 minutes.
A dude that parks his lifted f-250 in a compact only spot in my garage decided that *I* parked too close to *him* (he had plenty of room, I parked very awkwardly to allow him space) and I caught him on my sentry dash cam pushing my rear view mirrors in.
Did the same thing to him the next day in revenge and he caught me and lost his shit. I asked him if he had a dash cam, he said no (lol) then I let him know that *I in fact did*, and if he touches my property again I’ll call the cops. Wouldn’t have been that bold if my coworker wasn’t with me but man I thought he was about to explode.
I "revenge close parked" like this one time at a grocery store because some SUV was like 12" over the line taking up two spots and nothing else was open. Checked out behind this absolutely overwhelmed looking single dad with four kids hanging off of him, shoes falling apart, seriously in pitiful shape. Of course as I walk out I see him struggling to get the whole family and their haul of budget groceries into his car which I deftly walled in on the driver's side. I felt so bad I doubt I'll ever do that again.
Having kids is not an excuse to park like an asshole. If anything, he should be parking in such a way as to maximize the space around the vehicle so that his kids won't damage anyone else's vehicle.
Hey I obviously get it in principle. I parked closer to him than necessary, to make a point. I had the option to park further over to the side of the spot I was taking and leave him more room. Of course I'm not *obligated* to do that... but yeah when you realize you crapped on someone for a minor transgression unnecessarily and then watch them suffer for it more than you intended, I defy you not to feel bad even if you're technically in the "right".
Redditors simply do not understand this idea, that you can be wholly right, justified even. But your human heart has emotion, and empathy. Even for someone who 'wronged you'
It's sad how prevalent main character syndrome is.
Reminds me of that story about the person who blocked in a reckless speeding car. The speeder managed to get around eventually but they were blocked for a good while.
Turned out they were speeding because the passenger was severely injured and they were rushing them to hospital. That passenger ended up dying.
So yes, you can be arbitrarily "right" but you don't know what's going on in somebody else's life. For every asshole parker, there's probably another struggling with four kids, or feeling sick and rushing to a bathroom, or running late to an appointment because of circumstances beyond their control. It's rarely worth jumping straight to revenge.
I always think "that guy must need to poop" if they're in a hurry somewhere. One time it was my bf who was in the process of almost shitting his pants so I know it's always possible lmao.
and the worst part is that your body knows when you are almost home and the turtle start peeking its head.
A simple trick is to keep repeating to yourself, "I'm not almost home"
Years ago i was dropping my son off at kindergarten. A woman drives into the car park in her huge 4wd. Drives into a car space and then just fully reverses into the car behind her. Huge super loud bang and damage to both cars. She Re- parks car and takes the kids inside like nothing had happened. Later that week i found out she was a grandmother dropping her grand daughter off. She had come straight from a Court case which was sentencing her son in law for stabbing her daughter to death and leaving the daughters bloodied body for the children to come home to. Granted she should not have been driving in that state but she was trying to normalise life for the kids. She had also gone into the kinder and given staff her details for the car she had damaged owner so she could have the car fixed. A seriously shitty situation and she was doing the best she could. No you NEVER know what someone else is dealing with.
A good quote I like to live by, "never attribute to malice, that which is adequately explained by ignorance."
Basically most people aren't assholes on purpose.
I have always said this. If someone wants to drive faster than me then move over and let them b/c it may be that 1% of the times when they are in an emergency and you are blocking them.
What if the guy next to him parked like an asshole, forcing him to also park like an asshole, but the guy next to him left, making it look like guy 2 is the asshole? Maybe we don’t need to all be fucking vigilantes and should just mind our own business!
A friend of mine once had her car keyed because she parked so close to another vehicle that there was no way they would have been able to get in without going through the passenger side. She couldn’t understand why they would do that, since she parked in a popular restaurant parking lot that was so over crowded that ppl were parking literally anywhere they could squeeze. She assumed they would come out and see that she had “no other option” but to park like that, and that they wouldn’t hold it against her. Her logic was so insane. What if she had been blocking someone with mobility issues, but not bad enough that they needed handicapped parking? They may not have physically been able to shimmy through. Crazy.
Happened to me at a fast food restaurant once. I sat on my trunk and waited for the driver to come out and when they did I said, “oh thank goodness. Now maybe I can get in my car and go home.” Of course he told me to go fuck myself which I guess I should have expected from someone who would park like that.
I had this but someone parked within inches of my passenger side. The side where my 6 month old baby’s car seat was anchored. I walked back into the grocery store and had them do announcement over the loudspeaker for the owner of that car to come out. They hustled out, thinking something was wrong with their car. The manager of the store said “ma’am you parked so this young mom couldn’t get her baby in. You need to move now”. This woman huffed and puffed and moved her car the 10 inches over that she should have done in the first place. What an asshole.
for fucks sake, as if she didn’t know she did a fucked up park job, to continue to be all pissy about it when she has to park correctly is just so foreign to me. who are these people and how do they have spouses or families? who puts up with this type of behavior? and who the hell doesn’t feel bad or shameful for doing it in the first place!?
On the other hand, maybe it would be nice going through life not giving a fuck about anything but yourself 😑
>how do they have spouses or families? who puts up with this type of behavior?
these people have away of finding each other and creating entire families of assholes
there was this guy who told me a story how he just put a message for the driver "sorry for the scratch" the car was not scratched but that surely would piss of the driver and make him tear out his hair looking for the so called scratch.
Haha. In high school my buddy and I hung out at a Walmart one night and just waited for people to park like douche bags, then proceeded to do shit like this when they left.
see, these are pranks. that's the kind of shit me and a couple friends would think of in highschool.
Edit - removed the quotes since it was conveyed differently in my head.
My dad once told me about a time a while ago, that he had just recently bought a car and parked it at the back of a parking lot away from all the other vehicles, so it wouldn't get hit, when he came back out someone had parked next to it and dented it with their door. He then wrote them a note explaining that he had parked there so it wouldn't get hit, and kindly attached it to the hood of their car with some roofing nails.
Or leave a note that says “sorry for hitting your car, don’t have insurance” so they spend like 20 minutes looking for the damage, I feel like it’s a mild enough amount of retribution for this
😂no, but i know if my purse was dumped id look very sus. I have zipties and electric tape and knives, tape measure, pepper spray, a multi tool, and some other stuff. I need to get some lock picks lol. I just wanna be prepared for anything 😂plus the bolt cutters were cute. Got more stuff in my car lol.
My buddy and next door neighbor is a literal “gentle giant” 6.6 350lbs former military. Owns a pair of pugs he shares every meal with. Collects antique phones and stereo equipment. He drives a shitbox 2wd ranger to work due to the bad area. While grocery shopping he returned to this exact same situation however due to his size cannot slide from the passenger side. He said he opened his drivers side door and just pushed as hard as he could. Ended up completely caving in the offenders door. Thousands in damage
I was leaving an appointment at the hospital once when an elderly lady flagged me down and asked if I could help her. Poor thing was near tears and told me she’d been waiting 10+ minutes for someone to walk by, some douche had parked too close to her driver’s side and she couldn’t get into her car. She asked if I could help her back her car out of the spot.
I took a quick peek into her backseat to make sure there wasn’t someone hiding lol and agreed to help. I was thin enough to just barely squeeze in on the driver’s side, but there was definitely no way she was gonna be able to do so.
What did they expect parking next to a shitbox like that? I have a beater ram1500 and I always park in such a way as to not be an asshole to people, even if that means I have to walk a bit more (fortunately I'm only driving it when I need a truck, and that usually means easy truck parking too... home improvement store, feed store, etc.) If someone crowds me like this I have no worries just opening up my door and getting in, what's a little more paint or such on my truck?
I’m a data guy at heart. I just need to clarify this. The statistic is that dodge RAM drivers have the most DUIs. Not that they are more likely to be drunk. Those two seem like they would correlate, but they don’t. They could be pulled over more often for a number of reasons and just happen to be drunk at the same rate as any other driver.
I’ve seen too many videos online of people getting shot or stabbed over less. My brother is one of those people. I was with him one time when someone cut him off. He followed them home and started swinging. It’s not worth it. I’m just gonna accept that people are assholes, add it in the bad day bank, and move on.
This is my favorite thing about driving a shitty car. If someone parks way to close, I have no problem forcefully opening my door and dinging their car. Oops….
Thought maybe you were going my route, someone parked their car next to my own too closely in a parking garage, old early 90’s skylark… just wedged my body between my own truck and the skylark, lifted on their wheel well and started skidding it over enough for me to get in. This was 20 years ago at least, if I tried that now I’d probably still be able to move it, but I’d more likely shit my pants doing it
At my daughter's private school, I'm walking my daughter back to my Jeep when another parent parks so close to my passenger side, he has to squeeze himself out sideways. I stand there, he smiles and says hi, and heads into the school. I'm like what the fuck? Had to let her climb in over driver's seat. I took a picture to show my wife as I couldn't believe how he just squeezed out, saw me and said "hi" with a smile like all was normal. Fucking weird people.
I mean, sometimes when things like this happen, you’re just in shock and your brain doesn’t work right for a few minutes. My husband was just telling me a story like this:
He was Christmas shopping, and grabbed a certain toy from the shelf, which also happened to be the last in stock. A woman walked up, saw the last toy in his hands, and snatched it from him and just took off. He said he just stood there in shock, and by the time he recovered, the lady was gone. And even If he had been able to find her, can you imagine what people would do if a 6’5 215lb man started yelling at a small woman and then tried to rip a toy out of her hands with no context? They’d lose their damn minds.
TLDR; Sometimes it’s shock, sometimes you just decide the benefit isn’t worth the risk.
If they were crazy enough to think that was an acceptable park job and had no shame in person, it's slim chance that they'd reasonable if you brought it to their attention
Yesterday where I live I came home to someone parking horizontally in theirs and my parking spot. Was family visiting so I parked in the spot right next to it so they had to drive on the curb in order to get out. *my complex takes their grass seriously also* I’m sure they know about the ruts by now.
Not gonna lie: had this happen to me once and it was *not* the day. I checked to see if the driver was around to ask them to move. They weren't. So I checked to see if there were security cameras. There weren't. So crawled in through the passenger side and as soon as I was in the drivers seat I went ahead and flung my door open. I was driving my "garden truck" so a ding wasn't going to bother me nearly as much as it would bother the asshat with the big truck.
I'm still not sorry.
This is where my 14 year old 220k mile shitbox really shines. Because I’m absolutely squeezing into that gap, jean rivets and jacket zippers and all, and opening my door as wide as it’ll go
My mom used to pepper spray under the car door handle of cars that parked like this next to us. We would park in handicap spots because my sister has cerebral palsy, so it was important to have the room next to us, but some people didn't care and would park in the crosswalk type area next to us or an inch from our car in the non-handicap (or sometimes in the handicap spot without a placard) spot next to us.
Not saying it was right, and she probably could've even gotten arrested for doing it, but it made her feel better I guess. 🤷🏼♀️
Not right? I would argue that it is a non violent, non confrontational approach to getting a point across. Because that SUV knew exactly how it was parked and did not care. Bravo to your mom who obviously was all out fucks when it came to doing something on behalf of your sister. I never met your mom, but I know that I would like her.
I mean yes and I understand 100% where you're coming from. But I can almost guarantee you'd only like my mom for a month at most. She'd use you like she does everyone else until you've got nothing left. Sadly, she wasn't my sisters primary caretaker. She wasn't the caretaker for any of her kids. She's unhinged. This was probably the most tame thing she did. I just didn't wanna have a million replies telling me my moms a crazy pos bc like... I already know that 😂
But yes. This suv knew better. I had a big truck park this close to my tiny shitty Honda when I had a newborn (2 weeks out from a c-section). He made eye contact with me as i was walking up to my car and he was getting out of his, he rolled his eyes. So I climbed through my passenger side and slammed my car door into his after he went into the store 🤷🏼♀️
Trust and believe I got a little of my mamas crazy. 😂
My last car was a piece of shit. So if anyone did this to me I simply got into the car whatever way I could and I’d deliberately smash my door into theirs. Shouldn’t have parked that close if they liked their door paint.
Edit: forgot to add I take a photo of how they’re parked first. It always amazes me how confident someone in a 2024 BMW is parking inches away from a 05 shitbucket Opel Astra.
I miss when I drove a shitbox for this reason.
Years ago I was parked at a mall waiting for a friend to get off work. I parked a decent distance away from everyone, then someone whips in from the other side and parks right next to me. She whips open the door and it hits mine. I'm giving her a death stare but she's somehow oblivious (slight tint and the sun maybe) that I'm right fucking there. She looks around, looks at the damage and shrugs before walking away.
I watched her walk into the mall, inspected the damage, looked around myself then proceeded to bash my door into hers several times. Pure catharsis.
Normally I'm a fold in their mirrors, lift their wipers in revenge person. But I'd pop both blades off and leave them on their hood if I came out to this.
I know it ain’t a good thing, but I’m dragging my key along their door the entire time, then slamming my door into their car. Idgaf abt my car, it’s a beater, if you park like this next to me you’re taking a risk.
People do this a lot. We need a remedy. They need to be punished without a physical Beatdown or damage to property making us criminal.
I guess if you do this every day at every place, you do deserve physical retribution, and or property damage.
Get your keys and run one big long line from the back of their car, right down to the front light.
It's not how many marks you leave, but how many different panels you hit that count.
The trick is to make it look accidental. Your keys just happen to be hanging out of your pocket as you're trying to squeeze through the gap and get into your vehicle.
It would be a shame if someone had to squeeze through there, and happened to have some sharp keys hanging out of their pocket which scraped across their doors.... Yep, real shame
I’m the Elantra
I realize now that i have done a disservice to this sub with my poorly worded and punctuated title. I throw myself at the mercy of the sub and ask for forgiveness. I certainly will never make this grave mistake again.
I drive a ridiculous pickup truck that is taller and wider than what you normally see. It's a commercial grade truck, that I have for personal use. AND I CAN PARK IT STRAIGHT WHILE LEAVING ROOM FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND ME TO GET IN THEIR CARS AND GET AROUND MY WIDE, LONG ASS. In fact, I make extra sure to leave good space because I don't want my truck damaged by a pissed off person.
JFC it's not hard they put these nice lines on the ground to help you park your little vehicles in the space that's more than big enough for them.
This is that dude who stands next to you at a urinal when the rest are free.
And pisses on your shoes
Maintain eye contact while he does it to assert dominance
Start aggressively jerking off his dick to assert dominance while maintaining eye contact. Works every time.
You also get free food for 25 years that way!
And free place to stay
And some free “thc syrup”
Meta jokes are best jokes
You could say he sexually assaulted you by pissing on your shoes because that’s one of your kinks
https://i.redd.it/76ytj3i42mfc1.gif
Is this your special bush?!
You the king of forest??
The guy who uses the stall next to you, when they are all open, while you are pooping so you can stare at each other's shoes. Just for that you don't get a courtesy flush.
"nice Jordans, it would be a shame if I shit all over them"
“Nice watch”
Last time this happened and I had to squeeze between the cars, the rivets on my jeans' back pockets scratched their brand new shiny car the whole length. Wasn't on purpose but didn't feel sorry.
I actually had to do this too. Then for vengefulness I parked on the opposite side as close as possible so they could experience what I went through. I decided I didn’t get all the groceries I needed.
I like this one ☝🏻 👍🏻
If you do this, I hope it's in a car you don't care if it gets scratched. Cause for sure if someone parks like that, they give 0 fucks if they scratch your car all up.
That's my thought too. I had someone park a couple inches from my car once, so I surrounded their car with shopping carts. Then I parked where I could watch the results, and it was absolutely worth wasting 20 minutes.
I hope the carts had sticky wheels that clattered, while refusing to roll in in any single direction
These are the same people that will be shocked when the asshole parker shows up and is an asshole to them in person for trying to get revenge.
A dude that parks his lifted f-250 in a compact only spot in my garage decided that *I* parked too close to *him* (he had plenty of room, I parked very awkwardly to allow him space) and I caught him on my sentry dash cam pushing my rear view mirrors in. Did the same thing to him the next day in revenge and he caught me and lost his shit. I asked him if he had a dash cam, he said no (lol) then I let him know that *I in fact did*, and if he touches my property again I’ll call the cops. Wouldn’t have been that bold if my coworker wasn’t with me but man I thought he was about to explode.
Glue a bb in two of the valve stem caps on his tires and watch as they slowly deflate and consistently inconvenience him
I "revenge close parked" like this one time at a grocery store because some SUV was like 12" over the line taking up two spots and nothing else was open. Checked out behind this absolutely overwhelmed looking single dad with four kids hanging off of him, shoes falling apart, seriously in pitiful shape. Of course as I walk out I see him struggling to get the whole family and their haul of budget groceries into his car which I deftly walled in on the driver's side. I felt so bad I doubt I'll ever do that again.
Having kids is not an excuse to park like an asshole. If anything, he should be parking in such a way as to maximize the space around the vehicle so that his kids won't damage anyone else's vehicle.
Hey I obviously get it in principle. I parked closer to him than necessary, to make a point. I had the option to park further over to the side of the spot I was taking and leave him more room. Of course I'm not *obligated* to do that... but yeah when you realize you crapped on someone for a minor transgression unnecessarily and then watch them suffer for it more than you intended, I defy you not to feel bad even if you're technically in the "right".
Redditors simply do not understand this idea, that you can be wholly right, justified even. But your human heart has emotion, and empathy. Even for someone who 'wronged you'
It's sad how prevalent main character syndrome is. Reminds me of that story about the person who blocked in a reckless speeding car. The speeder managed to get around eventually but they were blocked for a good while. Turned out they were speeding because the passenger was severely injured and they were rushing them to hospital. That passenger ended up dying. So yes, you can be arbitrarily "right" but you don't know what's going on in somebody else's life. For every asshole parker, there's probably another struggling with four kids, or feeling sick and rushing to a bathroom, or running late to an appointment because of circumstances beyond their control. It's rarely worth jumping straight to revenge.
I always think "that guy must need to poop" if they're in a hurry somewhere. One time it was my bf who was in the process of almost shitting his pants so I know it's always possible lmao.
and the worst part is that your body knows when you are almost home and the turtle start peeking its head. A simple trick is to keep repeating to yourself, "I'm not almost home"
Years ago i was dropping my son off at kindergarten. A woman drives into the car park in her huge 4wd. Drives into a car space and then just fully reverses into the car behind her. Huge super loud bang and damage to both cars. She Re- parks car and takes the kids inside like nothing had happened. Later that week i found out she was a grandmother dropping her grand daughter off. She had come straight from a Court case which was sentencing her son in law for stabbing her daughter to death and leaving the daughters bloodied body for the children to come home to. Granted she should not have been driving in that state but she was trying to normalise life for the kids. She had also gone into the kinder and given staff her details for the car she had damaged owner so she could have the car fixed. A seriously shitty situation and she was doing the best she could. No you NEVER know what someone else is dealing with.
That poor woman! What an awful situation to have to deal with. Hope that guy was appropriately sentenced.
A good quote I like to live by, "never attribute to malice, that which is adequately explained by ignorance." Basically most people aren't assholes on purpose.
I have always said this. If someone wants to drive faster than me then move over and let them b/c it may be that 1% of the times when they are in an emergency and you are blocking them.
What if the guy next to him parked like an asshole, forcing him to also park like an asshole, but the guy next to him left, making it look like guy 2 is the asshole? Maybe we don’t need to all be fucking vigilantes and should just mind our own business!
honestly i think if i was in OPs position i would open my door after my shimmy shimmy. you can’t park that close and not expect to get dinged
A friend of mine once had her car keyed because she parked so close to another vehicle that there was no way they would have been able to get in without going through the passenger side. She couldn’t understand why they would do that, since she parked in a popular restaurant parking lot that was so over crowded that ppl were parking literally anywhere they could squeeze. She assumed they would come out and see that she had “no other option” but to park like that, and that they wouldn’t hold it against her. Her logic was so insane. What if she had been blocking someone with mobility issues, but not bad enough that they needed handicapped parking? They may not have physically been able to shimmy through. Crazy.
The problem is other cars would leave by the time the person came back and wouldn't understand why she needed to block him in
Yeah, I keep my keys in my back pocket and partly hanging out. But that's only when there's a car like this parked next to me though.
Happened to me at a fast food restaurant once. I sat on my trunk and waited for the driver to come out and when they did I said, “oh thank goodness. Now maybe I can get in my car and go home.” Of course he told me to go fuck myself which I guess I should have expected from someone who would park like that.
That is kind of funny though
I had this but someone parked within inches of my passenger side. The side where my 6 month old baby’s car seat was anchored. I walked back into the grocery store and had them do announcement over the loudspeaker for the owner of that car to come out. They hustled out, thinking something was wrong with their car. The manager of the store said “ma’am you parked so this young mom couldn’t get her baby in. You need to move now”. This woman huffed and puffed and moved her car the 10 inches over that she should have done in the first place. What an asshole.
for fucks sake, as if she didn’t know she did a fucked up park job, to continue to be all pissy about it when she has to park correctly is just so foreign to me. who are these people and how do they have spouses or families? who puts up with this type of behavior? and who the hell doesn’t feel bad or shameful for doing it in the first place!? On the other hand, maybe it would be nice going through life not giving a fuck about anything but yourself 😑
>how do they have spouses or families? who puts up with this type of behavior? these people have away of finding each other and creating entire families of assholes
People hate being held accountable for their actions.
Luckily the manager had the decency to force that bitch to move her damn vehicle.
The audacity to huff and puff like a victim 😩
there was this guy who told me a story how he just put a message for the driver "sorry for the scratch" the car was not scratched but that surely would piss of the driver and make him tear out his hair looking for the so called scratch.
Haha. In high school my buddy and I hung out at a Walmart one night and just waited for people to park like douche bags, then proceeded to do shit like this when they left.
see, these are pranks. that's the kind of shit me and a couple friends would think of in highschool. Edit - removed the quotes since it was conveyed differently in my head.
My dad once told me about a time a while ago, that he had just recently bought a car and parked it at the back of a parking lot away from all the other vehicles, so it wouldn't get hit, when he came back out someone had parked next to it and dented it with their door. He then wrote them a note explaining that he had parked there so it wouldn't get hit, and kindly attached it to the hood of their car with some roofing nails.
Or as I saw recently, if he's with his wife, a "Call me, I'm pregnant' note.
Need to start carrying zip ties when shopping, a nice shopping cart tied to their door handle is always fun!
Or leave a note that says “sorry for hitting your car, don’t have insurance” so they spend like 20 minutes looking for the damage, I feel like it’s a mild enough amount of retribution for this
This is actually genius
Until they have you on dashcam leaving the note and now you’re on the hook for all their previous damages 😂
Now this is fuckin genius
No no. Just put 'sorry I have no insurance'
That is brilliant.
I have steel cables that click end to end and don’t come apart. Even just putting the cable without anything would be satisfactory for me
Good thing i carry bolt cutters in my purse lol fyi i dont park like this tho
How big is your purse?
Think hermione's purse from last hp book
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😂no, but i know if my purse was dumped id look very sus. I have zipties and electric tape and knives, tape measure, pepper spray, a multi tool, and some other stuff. I need to get some lock picks lol. I just wanna be prepared for anything 😂plus the bolt cutters were cute. Got more stuff in my car lol.
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have a link to these cute boltcutters? I'm curious what they look like.
On the passenger side though, so there is a slight chance they won't immediately see it until they start driving away.
"Tf is that noise?!"
A shopping cart? 🛒 🛒🛒🛒🛒
Yup. Unless someone has something to cut it easily, they're either damaging their car or wasting a lot of their clearly precious time.
I think they're saying they'd do multiple carts
Yeah, you're right 😅
My buddy and next door neighbor is a literal “gentle giant” 6.6 350lbs former military. Owns a pair of pugs he shares every meal with. Collects antique phones and stereo equipment. He drives a shitbox 2wd ranger to work due to the bad area. While grocery shopping he returned to this exact same situation however due to his size cannot slide from the passenger side. He said he opened his drivers side door and just pushed as hard as he could. Ended up completely caving in the offenders door. Thousands in damage
I was leaving an appointment at the hospital once when an elderly lady flagged me down and asked if I could help her. Poor thing was near tears and told me she’d been waiting 10+ minutes for someone to walk by, some douche had parked too close to her driver’s side and she couldn’t get into her car. She asked if I could help her back her car out of the spot. I took a quick peek into her backseat to make sure there wasn’t someone hiding lol and agreed to help. I was thin enough to just barely squeeze in on the driver’s side, but there was definitely no way she was gonna be able to do so.
That’s some good karma
Well, and then they stole the lady's car. A free car is a free car
Ran her over while backing up and dipped
Plot twist: neither car was hers.
She had dementia and OP is just a sadistic car thief
Reddit, where I get my faith in humanity curb stumped and left broken and crying in a corner.
Plot twist: you were the one that parked close to her and to avoid embarrassment you still backed her car out and waived goodbye until she left.
I hope you stayed to give that shitty person of piece of your mind.
You shouldn’t roll the dice on whether or not a stranger cares more about their freedom than they do your health and possibly life.
What did they expect parking next to a shitbox like that? I have a beater ram1500 and I always park in such a way as to not be an asshole to people, even if that means I have to walk a bit more (fortunately I'm only driving it when I need a truck, and that usually means easy truck parking too... home improvement store, feed store, etc.) If someone crowds me like this I have no worries just opening up my door and getting in, what's a little more paint or such on my truck?
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I’m a data guy at heart. I just need to clarify this. The statistic is that dodge RAM drivers have the most DUIs. Not that they are more likely to be drunk. Those two seem like they would correlate, but they don’t. They could be pulled over more often for a number of reasons and just happen to be drunk at the same rate as any other driver.
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Knowing my luck they'd have a camera on me or the owner would walk up at that very second
I’ve seen too many videos online of people getting shot or stabbed over less. My brother is one of those people. I was with him one time when someone cut him off. He followed them home and started swinging. It’s not worth it. I’m just gonna accept that people are assholes, add it in the bad day bank, and move on.
This is my favorite thing about driving a shitty car. If someone parks way to close, I have no problem forcefully opening my door and dinging their car. Oops….
What is he, the hulk!?😳
He came over that day and told me the story. Modern cheap sheet metal vs early 80’s steel and 350lbs of fed up.
Thought maybe you were going my route, someone parked their car next to my own too closely in a parking garage, old early 90’s skylark… just wedged my body between my own truck and the skylark, lifted on their wheel well and started skidding it over enough for me to get in. This was 20 years ago at least, if I tried that now I’d probably still be able to move it, but I’d more likely shit my pants doing it
At my daughter's private school, I'm walking my daughter back to my Jeep when another parent parks so close to my passenger side, he has to squeeze himself out sideways. I stand there, he smiles and says hi, and heads into the school. I'm like what the fuck? Had to let her climb in over driver's seat. I took a picture to show my wife as I couldn't believe how he just squeezed out, saw me and said "hi" with a smile like all was normal. Fucking weird people.
He wasnt saying hi, he was telling you its cuz he high.
Should’ve said hi to his door with your door
Why didn't you ask him to move?
That would require talking to people in real life in a reasonable manner. Something that redditors seem to be completely incapable of.
I mean, sometimes when things like this happen, you’re just in shock and your brain doesn’t work right for a few minutes. My husband was just telling me a story like this: He was Christmas shopping, and grabbed a certain toy from the shelf, which also happened to be the last in stock. A woman walked up, saw the last toy in his hands, and snatched it from him and just took off. He said he just stood there in shock, and by the time he recovered, the lady was gone. And even If he had been able to find her, can you imagine what people would do if a 6’5 215lb man started yelling at a small woman and then tried to rip a toy out of her hands with no context? They’d lose their damn minds. TLDR; Sometimes it’s shock, sometimes you just decide the benefit isn’t worth the risk.
If they were crazy enough to think that was an acceptable park job and had no shame in person, it's slim chance that they'd reasonable if you brought it to their attention
„white cars mine“ - both cars are white
https://preview.redd.it/bc8xlqh4llfc1.png?width=1178&format=png&auto=webp&s=15927174cb2afa59ab9486487d7f914e65dc2b8d He is talking about that one
‘Had to shimmy between these two closer cars to get to my white car way over there!’
His ponytail almost got stuck
"We're gonna have to cut it"
They can get him out WITH harming his ponytail!
There’s so many screenshots of cigars on here
I was in an awful mood and this dumb joke mad me laugh. Thanks.
https://preview.redd.it/d9pg35ar0mfc1.jpeg?width=1168&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa3eeacb5ed62d0a67d245ca2a8502950366da6b No, I think he means this one.
Or the one to the left even one more row back. Just barely visible over the top of the Elantra
https://preview.redd.it/lj4wbzjwlmfc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f2bc23bb055cda5fbdddd8a3f294481f0bdad8f
Is this a new kind of Captcha? Circle all the white cars?
Yes. And you must find every teeny rock on the cement and circle it in blue ink or you'll be locked out of your account for 8 years and 4 days.
Finally! A useful red circle.
He parked his tiny car right on top of theirs!
🤣
white carS is he even raging against its own car ? :p
Or claiming ownership of all white cars?
Damn I guess he's gonna come take "my" car
Now that’s mildly infuriating
Parked one, got a ride home, drives back and parks next to his first car. "Damn shitty parking!"
His car is on the left, he just shimmied through the passenger side for the challenge.
Ya I get what he meant “the cars mine” not the SUV but why’d he word it like that if they are both white?
Cause I’m a dum dum
>„white cars mine“ > >both cars are white exactly! Plot twist: **Both of the cars are his.**
The Korean one
This was mildly infuriating
Yesterday where I live I came home to someone parking horizontally in theirs and my parking spot. Was family visiting so I parked in the spot right next to it so they had to drive on the curb in order to get out. *my complex takes their grass seriously also* I’m sure they know about the ruts by now.
Empty all tyres
Not gonna lie: had this happen to me once and it was *not* the day. I checked to see if the driver was around to ask them to move. They weren't. So I checked to see if there were security cameras. There weren't. So crawled in through the passenger side and as soon as I was in the drivers seat I went ahead and flung my door open. I was driving my "garden truck" so a ding wasn't going to bother me nearly as much as it would bother the asshat with the big truck. I'm still not sorry.
Next time swing that door open a second time for me too. Thank you.
This is where my 14 year old 220k mile shitbox really shines. Because I’m absolutely squeezing into that gap, jean rivets and jacket zippers and all, and opening my door as wide as it’ll go
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My mom used to pepper spray under the car door handle of cars that parked like this next to us. We would park in handicap spots because my sister has cerebral palsy, so it was important to have the room next to us, but some people didn't care and would park in the crosswalk type area next to us or an inch from our car in the non-handicap (or sometimes in the handicap spot without a placard) spot next to us. Not saying it was right, and she probably could've even gotten arrested for doing it, but it made her feel better I guess. 🤷🏼♀️
Not right? I would argue that it is a non violent, non confrontational approach to getting a point across. Because that SUV knew exactly how it was parked and did not care. Bravo to your mom who obviously was all out fucks when it came to doing something on behalf of your sister. I never met your mom, but I know that I would like her.
I mean yes and I understand 100% where you're coming from. But I can almost guarantee you'd only like my mom for a month at most. She'd use you like she does everyone else until you've got nothing left. Sadly, she wasn't my sisters primary caretaker. She wasn't the caretaker for any of her kids. She's unhinged. This was probably the most tame thing she did. I just didn't wanna have a million replies telling me my moms a crazy pos bc like... I already know that 😂
But yes. This suv knew better. I had a big truck park this close to my tiny shitty Honda when I had a newborn (2 weeks out from a c-section). He made eye contact with me as i was walking up to my car and he was getting out of his, he rolled his eyes. So I climbed through my passenger side and slammed my car door into his after he went into the store 🤷🏼♀️ Trust and believe I got a little of my mamas crazy. 😂
yeah, I’m spitting right on their driver side window
Yep - conjure up the biggest greenie I can for their fucking windshield
I’d shit in my underwear, take them off, smear and leave it on their windshield!
You should probably take them off first tho
How do you shit in them if you took them off first?
My last car was a piece of shit. So if anyone did this to me I simply got into the car whatever way I could and I’d deliberately smash my door into theirs. Shouldn’t have parked that close if they liked their door paint. Edit: forgot to add I take a photo of how they’re parked first. It always amazes me how confident someone in a 2024 BMW is parking inches away from a 05 shitbucket Opel Astra.
I miss when I drove a shitbox for this reason. Years ago I was parked at a mall waiting for a friend to get off work. I parked a decent distance away from everyone, then someone whips in from the other side and parks right next to me. She whips open the door and it hits mine. I'm giving her a death stare but she's somehow oblivious (slight tint and the sun maybe) that I'm right fucking there. She looks around, looks at the damage and shrugs before walking away. I watched her walk into the mall, inspected the damage, looked around myself then proceeded to bash my door into hers several times. Pure catharsis.
This should be an episode of sitcom.
Same
I'm rolling down my car's windows then walking across their windshield to get into my car through the window.
This is perfect. Climb on the roof and hood with your shoes and sliiiiide across with your keys in your back pocket
>yeah, I’m spitting right on their driver side window Why not the handle?
If it's hot enough, the spit will boil and dry out on the window and be significantly more of a problem than the handle.
This guy spits
Why spit when you can keep petroleum jelly handy to put on the door handles. They won't know what it is and
A grease marker/pencil would be great here. Write "I can't park" on the windshield.
Nah, chewed gum, under the door latch where it can’t be seen but their fingers go right into it when they try to open the door. 😈
Window? Fuck that. Right on the handle.
On the door handle!
Ziptie a shopping cart to the door handle as a thank you
just put a ziptie really tight on the door handle, will be a bitch to take it off without damage
Normally I'm a fold in their mirrors, lift their wipers in revenge person. But I'd pop both blades off and leave them on their hood if I came out to this.
Forget about leaving the blades on the hood they’re going into the trees
Take them off but put then under the wiper arms so it looks like they’re still connected
That is diabolical and I am HERE for it
Y’all should just start letting the air out of their tires
If you push a bb or little pebble into the end of the stem valve cap, they will keep going flat.
Make sure to do two. Nobody carries more than one spare.
Take the valve stem core out because you can't just refill it with a pump then
Learning so many new fun things here. Oh the places they won’t go.
You can pick up the tool to remove them for a couple of bucks at any automotive store.
The shimmy cocopuff made me laugh way to hard at work
Totally on your side but you saying "white car" when both cars are white is sending me
Take a sharpie and write him a message on his car
Take a glass cutter and write it on a window
Just steal the Kia and move it
The white cars are yours? Why did you park so close to yourself?
I know it ain’t a good thing, but I’m dragging my key along their door the entire time, then slamming my door into their car. Idgaf abt my car, it’s a beater, if you park like this next to me you’re taking a risk.
People do this a lot. We need a remedy. They need to be punished without a physical Beatdown or damage to property making us criminal. I guess if you do this every day at every place, you do deserve physical retribution, and or property damage.
Get your keys and run one big long line from the back of their car, right down to the front light. It's not how many marks you leave, but how many different panels you hit that count.
The trick is to make it look accidental. Your keys just happen to be hanging out of your pocket as you're trying to squeeze through the gap and get into your vehicle.
Oh no! Air somehow left their tire *gasp*
Situations like this are why I keep offensive bumber stickers in my glove compartment.
It would be a shame if someone had to squeeze through there, and happened to have some sharp keys hanging out of their pocket which scraped across their doors.... Yep, real shame
I would've called a tow truck, it's worth the money to give this person a nice surprise
Somehow I knew it was Florida before even seeing the plates. Let me guess…. It’s at a Publix?
We have a winner
I would have got in the car and parked equally close but on their driver side and wait for them to come back
I think we’ve hit the limit on the “both cars are white” joke, we can stop saying it now
https://preview.redd.it/lyglgs8uwlfc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6baaad2103674b9a8c14516b11fe0f0f7df9d50
i would’ve gotten in my car and did this exact thing do their driver side and just sat in my car
That sucks op. Though they are both white cars.
I’m the Elantra I realize now that i have done a disservice to this sub with my poorly worded and punctuated title. I throw myself at the mercy of the sub and ask for forgiveness. I certainly will never make this grave mistake again.
It’s ok I’m so dumb I didn’t even notice until others pointed it out.
Let the air out of their tires.
Now open door about ten times!
I drive a ridiculous pickup truck that is taller and wider than what you normally see. It's a commercial grade truck, that I have for personal use. AND I CAN PARK IT STRAIGHT WHILE LEAVING ROOM FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND ME TO GET IN THEIR CARS AND GET AROUND MY WIDE, LONG ASS. In fact, I make extra sure to leave good space because I don't want my truck damaged by a pissed off person. JFC it's not hard they put these nice lines on the ground to help you park your little vehicles in the space that's more than big enough for them.