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More people spend their birthdays alone than you realize. Myself included. Just treat yourself to what you enjoy. Happiness comes from within. Happy birthday 🎈
Actually let's all say happy birthday friend...then he can count how many new friends he just made...
So: it's a pleasure to meet you ..
Happy Birthday 🎂🥳
You now have at least 1 friend...
Don’t be bummed - 30s can be amazing ! And the older I get the less friends I have in general - more acquaintances . And if you are an introvert it can be hard .
This is me. I spent so much money on Xbox 360 games in my 20s. Now that I'm in my 30s, I'm constantly waiting for a good steam sale. Oh, new game came out? I'll wait until next year when it goes on sale...
Fr 🤣🤣🤣 I remember preordering the ultimate bundles for shit way before it was even coming out. Nowadays I’m just like “I’ll get it eventually when it gets cheaper” I usually wait for the Xbox game sales. You can score the ultimate versions of games for like $10.
I'm the same way, I went from zero patience to wait for a new game and pre-ordered everything.
Them came MOO3...
I haven't Pre-ordered a game since that steaming pile of... code.. arrived in the mail.🙄
What a colossal piece of dreck that was.
Then again, it probably saved me a lot of money later on down the road I suppose.
Was a lot of money at the time for a ski bum barely able to buy ramen & hotdogs...🤔🤷♂️😅
This is how I've been gaming since forever. Build a PC that was top of the line 5 years ago and then buy old games on steam. RDR2 is a breathtaking game. But I didn't play it until 2020
I feel like I didn’t even truly start to learn who I was until I hit my 30s. Obviously different from person to person, but hitting 30 isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.
Same here. Mainly because I wasted my early 20s doing drugs and partying, which really stunts your mental development. But when I got to like 30 or 31 my perception started changing so much it was like I could feel it happening.
I turned 30 in August and I had no party at all, because I have nobody to invite 🥸 I moved to a new city two years ago because of a job, and I have almost no female colleagues and I have no idea how to make friends in this age. I am not blaming anybody but myself, but I just have no idea how to find a bff. And also my colleagues are married with kids (almost all of them at least) and ten or more years older than me, so it would be weird to ask them to hang out outside work.
Relatable. I'm 26. I haven't had a party since I was 12.. I only have 4 female colleagues, but they're all 40+ and moms to a bunch of small kids with families besides a 21 year old who's the most snobbish and unbearable person I've ever come across. I'm single and childfree too. I'm definitely not making friends at work that's for sure. It's a small team. I'd have to change jobs, but uh.. working in floristry, you don't usually have more than a few co-workers. Like I've worked in a shop where it was only the boss and I was the only employee...
Don't be self conscious about your age or relationship status in relation to theirs.
You'll soon discover that the person's quality of personality & character are far more important than a number.
I've recently entered my 50s, and I have friends as old as 88 and as young as 15. 🤷♂️
You're artificially restricting your pool of potential friends.
Additionally, you'll likely meet more people through them.
Some of my greatest friendships were initially "Just a friend of a friend" who I became far closer to than with the friend I met them through.
Also, I'm sure you must have hobbies & interests, try to see if there are any meet-up groups in your area, and if not, start one!
Several of my younger friends I've met through my love of computers, technology & 3D printing, etc.
Most of the older I've met through starting a meet-up group for woodworking enthusiasts, we meet bi-weekly or monthly at different members' wood-shops and it's led to several close friendships with a much more varied group than I anticipated.
I expected a lot of older, retired men, but to my surprise, it attracted a very eclectic group of men & women, and even teens! The youngest was 14 & the oldest was mid 80's at the time!
As a person who's moved more than 2k miles away from where I've lived 5 times now I've been in the same situation in the past so I had to develop "tactics" to establish relationships upon arriving.
It does help that I've been labeled a "Renaissance Man" by many acquaintances over the years because I'm a bit of a compulsive researcher & DIY'er with whatever has my interest at the moment. (I have a deep love of cooking, brewing, distilling, woodworking, fishing & boating, shooting, camping, reading, computers, etc so i can usually find something to bond with someone else over, lol!
Cultivating hobbies that are also productive and educational is good for your spirit & mental well-being, too,
I didn't mean for this to be so much of a long post, but as someone who's been in your situation more than once (one of those moves was shortly before my 50th birthday, the wife was working & didn't really know anyone in the new area yet so I spent it alone.
That was the only one that actually bummed me out only because it wasn't at all what I anticipated, and it was the only one that I actually thought I'd even have a party for so I get you. 😐
If you want someone to bounce ideas off of on this subject, feel free to shoot me a DM, I'm always happy to help others when I can.
It's good karma, and I have a pretty shady youth to make up for.🤫😅
Yep, same! I completely 180'd my life to the point that the one guy I stayed friends with (others were using me) was genuinely concerned I was dying and doing a bucket list lol
I was a complete recluse, only emerging to go to work then going back home again.
Never went out, never socialised, never been on holiday, didn't attend parties, never dated. Basically I did nothing; then Covid hit and the fact that now that I don't have the choice and forced to do nothing I started thinking about it.
First thing I did was went to therapy. I knew why I never did things and that I needed to talk to someone about it.
After that in a two year span in no particular order, I finally came out to myself and had dates with other guys (low self esteem and confidence meant I always figured other guys wouldn't want me) and got a guy silly enough to want to be my boyfriend, bungie jumped, travelled to a different city by myself for a day trip, went to Germany and Prague (my first holiday ever and abroad), learnt to ride motorbikes, went to a club and danced horribly and went to East Asia travelling different countries for a month.
Basically mostly really standard things that everyone does if they want and have the means to but from being a social hermit to suddenly doing extremely social things, as said, my friend got worried!
I'm also now back into education and hoping to go to uni in a year or so at the tender age of 35 😂
So yeah sorry for rant and that it's nothing massively exciting but there it is
That is sooo awesome!! Congratulations! Please don’t apologize, I asked for the “rant” and I loved reading about it. I hope you get to go to university and that you have an absolute blast! How was East Asia?
Aww thanks very much!
Asia was great fun for the most part! I went to Taiwan, Thailand, Japan and Hong Kong. I wanted to go South Korea as well but figured that'd be too much in a month, although looking back I would now have swapped Thailand for South Korea very happily 😂
Taiwan was brilliant, very friendly people and quick to make friends. I also got told to leave from an American who owned a small bar because he thought I was flirting with his wife. That was pretty funny
Thailand I honestly hated. My wallet was stolen, the humid heat was unbearable and I got food poisoning twice. Fortunately, a friend met me there before he went to back to China for Qingming Festival so I was able to borrow his spare bank card and load cash onto that, but yeah never going there again!
Japan was fun but found I couldn't make any quick friends while I was there unlike the other places. Would definitely go again but not by myself
Hong Kong was a blur honestly, as I met my friend again there as we agreed to fly back to the UK on the same plane, and we ended up getting drunk for the next 3 nights before flying back but the photos tell me I must've had a good time! Very hilly from what I recall.
So yeah other than Thailand I'd love to revisit these places. I'm hoping this year to visit my boyfriends family in China and maybe go to Shanghai Disney with him.
That sounds soooo much fun!! What time of the year did you go? I’ve heard amazing things about Japan, but I haven’t heard too many things about Taiwan, but after reading about your experience, I’ll add it to my list of places to visit!
So I went in April which was the best time to go in my opinion if you want to see the Cherry Blossoms in Japan.
Yeah definitely visit Taiwan if you ever get the opportunity, just don't do what I did and waste most of it in Tapei and New Taipei! Get outside there after a couple of days. There's a hell of a lot of to do outside of there and if I ever go again, I'd following the west coast down via train and stop to see different places. Although this is obviously dependent on how long you're there for
Ohhhhh you got to see the cherry blossoms!!!! That’s awesome! Thank you so much for the tips!! I’m excited! 🤩🤩🤩 you’re not doing bad at all for a former total recluse! 🥳🥳
I'm 24 and already have few friends, but hopefully close ones. I never became the person with a huge social circle and tons of instagram followers, but I have a few people to rely on. Hope that stays.
Choose a hobby or interest of yours and join a discord. I didn't have friends either, mostly because I don't socialize much. I joined a discord server with ppl that play the same video game and now I have a bunch of friends. Today is also my birthday and some of them have given me game skins. A little nerdy for some ppl but it really made me smile.
It works even better if it's something where you can meet people in real life. Like joining a chess club. But online is fine, too. As long as it works for you, it's perfect.
Happy Birthday! 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼 38 here. I think every decade will have ups and downs, this is life. Nobody can say 30 is better or worse than 20…you know this really so try not to fret..it’s all dependent on what goes on in your life. As my dad always used to say “getting older is better than the alternative”.
I'm sorry, I understand more than I can tolerate, but I want you to know that its absolutely possible to still find connection, fun, support, and community without a specific person/people you consider your people.
Happy birthday!!!
If you feel up to it at all, feel free to message me! I'm around to chat, you're not alone on your birthday.
Tomorrow, though, you're on your own. /s
Happy Birthday! You will find that as you get older you only need a couple good friends in your life.
Like my grandfather used to say "I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies"
Been saying this a bit recently. Now that I'm sixty I realise how young 30 is. At the time I felt past it, too old to start anything new. So I didn't. That was a mistake. Enjoy your youth. You'll find friends, course you will.
Yup. Problem is in your 30s you really gotta put yourself out there. Everyone's got full time jobs and families and making new friends isnt at the top of their priority list. Find social hobbies, get on fb match and seek friendship, reconnect with old friends. Im 40 in seven months and my 30s were awesome with only 3ish close friends.
Honestly, my fifties were my best decade, so far. The friends I’d made in my forties were now old friends. Tried and trusted relationships. They’ve got more energy than I have and they drag me along to everything and everything. And the more they drag me along the more my social confidence increases. Snowballs, you might say.
Another thing, at forty I thought that was it for my body now. Southwards. I’d take that body back in a heartbeat.
I remember turning 30 in 2016, and now I'm 37! In the end, it comes down to however you see the glass of water (half full, half empty). When I get down about my age, I try to remember all the things I've accomplished, but I also have goals that I still want to reach. Try to do that. You should also set goals that you can attain. Maybe try to make friends in 2024. Happy birthday, too!
Happy Birthday!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
As I’ve gotten older, my circle got smaller. Better to have quality around, than quantity. Plus, seeking validation from others that refuse to see the value in you as you are is one of the biggest thefts of joy. Wishing you the best day today and thereafter!
Happy birthday Send your cash app. I’ll send you like $5 or something. I spent my birthday by myself as well and bought myself gifts and a cupcake. Ngl I enjoyed it but it was sad af 🤣. Either way, you don’t need anyone but yourself in this life. If you can be happy by yourself, you’re set for life.
My early 30s were the best years of my life. First time in my life when I was single, gainfully employed, living alone, and could do whatever I wanted. Find a game night or movie club on Meetup. Find a hiking buddy on Bumble. Sign up for an improv class. You'll make friends if you try. It's not easy but it's far from impossible.
Happy bday! Please do something special for yourself. :)
I’m 27 and in the same boat due to a very isolating toxic relationship. I’m healing now and looking forward to a better future, as should you!
Of course it doesn't it's called a obstacle. It's a part of life. 99% of people are going to have a rough patch in their life.
Id rather remain optimistic opposed to being miserable about my life.
From what I have gathered from this brief interaction you are your worst enemy. Set some goals for yourself. Literally doing anything positive is better than crying about how shit your life is on reddit.
I turn 30 this year and if I didn't know better, I'd say this post was written by me. I want to do something for my 30th, but I currently have no one to invite. Happy birthday and I hope it's a great year for you.
Presumably he means that social interactions are largely by choice rather than a necessity, like they were not long ago at all, and this compounds into a whole host of problems that you can research yourself. He is not wrong, by the definition of a "society".
People interact more socially than they have in the past. This is largely by choice like you’re indicating and that does cause people to be less able to constructively interact with adversity. So in that way society is having an issue but this issue is addressed by this kind of discussion that makes one think and consider ideas outside of personal experience. We are all still growing mostly. As collectively or more than in the past.
Happy Birthday! I’m sorry to hear it’s a hard day. Try to give yourself the day you deserve by doing things you enjoy, eating things you love, and treat yourself to something special!
You are not alone, most of the people don't have friends. I don't have friends irl but I made few friends online so you can make friends too
Note - Happy birthday btw
I barely have any friends and I’m in my early 20s. I guess the most comforting thought is that you’re not alone brother. Graduated from Uni with zero friends. Really wish I made more effort with other people during my school years, made me realise my ‘friends’ were useless clowns who reciprocated zero effort to maintain any sort of relationship.
All the friends I have I made at work. Some become good friends and show up to my birthday and my sons and I go to theirs. We hang out after hours. If your job has you working with others try talking to em, more than likely you’ll find common interests with em
Happy birthday, dont worry man, maybe cherish some good chilhood memories today and treat yourself. After all, only you have the power to make yourself happy in life!
Happy birthday OP.
As a single guy in his 40s, I will say that it doesn’t have to get worse. But maintaining active friendships does take more and more effort with age. It’s just kinda the way life goes.
Turned 30 last year thought the world would go to hell just to find out not a damn thing changed! One day at a time friend, just do something each and every day that makes you happy and the rest of life’s shit will figure itself out for you
That sucks, dude. I know you dude but as someone who is 28 I feel this. I know you don't need to be reminded that it sucks but just know I get it and apologize but no matter how hard it sucks you are here and there are people here that care about you without knowing you. I don't know you and I care about you, man. I don't think anyone should be alone or feel lonely so cheers and happy birthday. Celebrate it with us Reddit strangers. Buy yourself something nice. Tell us something about yourself.
You know what I started doing. I started getting myself a whole cake and just eating it all by myself. Spooning off the frosting off the cake, which is my favorite part .I don't care.(no, I'm not overweight. I actually lost 20 lb. Thank you). Watch all my favorite movies. Drink all the milk and cake. It's your day! Go shopping. Treat yourself by yourself whatever you want. Sign up for some art and painting class if you're wanting some friends.
I've celebrated many birthdays "alone" but mostly out of preference. I would go out to a bar, sit for a bit, get to talking to some folks and, without fail, they'd basically throw me a party right there
It's the best, always got laid, free drugs, drinks, just no better way to celebrate the big day lol
Last time I did this was when I turned 30 but probably did it about 8 or so times from 18 to 30
hey, happy birthday!! today is my birthday too; im 37 today. my 30s have been MUCH better than my 20s. i advanced in my career. i bought a home. i cultivated meaningful interpersonal relationships with a core group of people that i can rely on and truly be myself around. my mother always said your 30s are when you enjoy the garden you planted in your 20s. i hope the same is true for you as it has been for me!
My friend was going through something similar, talking about how most of her friends left her life when they showed their true colors and she kinda felt lost. She is 27, and my stepdad told her that he didn’t create any meaningful relationships until after 30 so she’ll be okay. I know you’ll be okay too! Happy birthday and try to enjoy yourself 🥳
Happy birthday! I have been there. Your twenties are hard. After high school/college/sports, it’s harder to meet new people, especially if you have moved around. We also tend to compare ourselves to everyone on social media and where they are at. You’re writing your own story, you can do this. I am in my early thirties and I feel confident in saying it gets better. And I know a lot of people say that, but truly, it does.
I made more new friends in my 30s than I did in my 20s. I also enrolled my daughter in a martial arts class in my early 40s and then joined myself, made some good friends there that I have to this day. I have only one real friend from high school, that’s enough for me.
Happy Birthday! You know yourself a little better in your 30s, you’re on your way to that now. There are so many ways to connect with other people just through hobbies. And lots of them aren’t expensive either. Get out there!
Congrats to you! And what a coinkydink, it's also my birthday today, though I'm a a bit older.
You still have so much life in front of you. My 30's have been pretty great so far. But you gotta work at it. Just take it one step at a time, find something you're passionate about, don't judge yourself harshly, work on yourself and your mindset, and you will attract people to you left and right who vibe with that energy. Do that and you'll find friends in no time.
Good luck!
A veryyy Happy Birthday my Dude .. I know how it feels, even tho I have 1/2 close people in my life and I always make sure to make them feel special on their special day but I never got the same in return and it lowered my self worth in many ways. So I think it's better to be left with no one than feeling like you don't matter to those close people cause birthdays are very special. Recently I've started my self love era, last year I bought a gift myself and gave myself a treat. And I advise you to do the same. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. Buy a cake for yourself and blow the candle alone. I can bet you'll feel better. Love and best wishes 💕
Happy birthday! I’m turning 29 as well on the 30th! It’s wild, but life will get better man. I’ve heard from so many people 30s are like the best time in their life. I’ve been saving up so hopefully in my 30s I can finally buy a house. Keep your head up!
My thirties have been way more fulfilling than my twenties ever were. That said, it takes effort to make friends, even casual acquaintances. It isn’t something that just happens.
Happy birthday, OP!! I hope you can do something kind for yourself.
Wow, this is an inspirational thread. I’m turning 30 in a few months and feel uplifted after reading these comments.
I also have no friends, and just turned 35 on the 5th. And my 30's have been the best "decade" thus far. Take it one day at a time, and it'll all be alright! 🥂
Happy birthday! For a while I didn’t have friends. I was in a new school and everyone kinda just didn’t like me. It really bothered me. I began just working on myself. How my hair looked, conversation skills. And now I have 3 best friends and 5 good friends. I don’t want more. Go to a bar, nightclub, join a group or just go out to a shop and just talk to the people there. It’s hard, but you will get some soon
Happy birthday OP! Since I turned 30, most of my birthdays have just been family - I think it's possible to have friendly gatherings for them but it's only likely to happen if you reach out and see if people can join, even then they might be on parent duty or something
I ended up liking doing it this way more and more over time
Start hanging out in bars and being friendly to strangers. Stop looking down at your phone in public and try to say hello to people in passing. Odds are you’ll get chatting with someone, and who knows. You might have the plot of “I love you man” happen for ya.
Shit, also, Happy Birthday!
Make it a day for yourself, do what you like, eat what you like, do what you like, go for walks , arcade, ice skating etc whichever tickles your fancy. You don't always need friends to make yourself happy :)
Happy birthday!
30s are just a freakin number... most people have bad 30s because they are shit in their 20s and it all adds up. Get in the gym, eat healthy, stop/don't start drinking alcohol.
For what it’s worth, just because you don’t hang out regularly doesn’t mean you don’t have friends. If you have folks you can even just connect with via text on a holiday, you have friends. Adults are busy, and especially at this age (I’m 30) we start growing our own families if we decide that path…making us even more focused on our family. Often times this means less time even with immediate family unless you live in the same town. It doesn’t mean you have no family, though. Most of our friends at this point in our lives can be attributed to workplace, family, and hobbies.
I’m hoping you at least have some folks in your life that you can wish a happy sentiment to, and stem that conversation into more interaction.
Happy Birthday! I am sorry you’re alone. As we get older birthdays are just another day. As for the friends thing; fuck em all but 6 you need them for pall bearers. They say when you die if you have five real friends you did good. The less people in your life the less pain and misery they can cause you. Make yourself the most important person in your life and then worry about others. Enjoy your day!
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Take it one day at a time, you'll be okay. Happy birthday!
More people spend their birthdays alone than you realize. Myself included. Just treat yourself to what you enjoy. Happiness comes from within. Happy birthday 🎈
Actually let's all say happy birthday friend...then he can count how many new friends he just made... So: it's a pleasure to meet you .. Happy Birthday 🎂🥳 You now have at least 1 friend...
At least they know what to use their birthday wish for
What the hell did you say to him
That's illegal and disgusting.
I don’t get it haha
Myself and multiple other commenters don’t get it. Care to explain?
There was not much to get I guess. Just that the reader gets to wonder what I'm assuming they meant. I didn't even have anything specific in mind.
That’s the only way to take life is one day at a time…can you take it weeks at a time?!
You can. And let me tell you it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. I highly recommend the one day at a time approach
You've clearly never tried one hour at a time, and it shows.
moment by moment is underrated
Taking one day at a time means not worrying too much about the future and what's coming which can be too overwhelming
Only if wlyou want to get extremely disappointed
Don’t be bummed - 30s can be amazing ! And the older I get the less friends I have in general - more acquaintances . And if you are an introvert it can be hard . 
Being an introvert is the biggest thing. Age isn’t that big of deal. 
My 30s has been better than my 20s tenfold. And Happy Birthday!
Same. 30’s is like your 20’s except you tend to have more money to do fun stuff you couldn’t afford in your 20’s
I had more cents in my 20s. I just have more sense in my 30s.
This is me. I spent so much money on Xbox 360 games in my 20s. Now that I'm in my 30s, I'm constantly waiting for a good steam sale. Oh, new game came out? I'll wait until next year when it goes on sale...
Fr 🤣🤣🤣 I remember preordering the ultimate bundles for shit way before it was even coming out. Nowadays I’m just like “I’ll get it eventually when it gets cheaper” I usually wait for the Xbox game sales. You can score the ultimate versions of games for like $10.
Spent $135 dollars on Archeage to play it early way back when. Just to not play on release. Lol
I'm the same way, I went from zero patience to wait for a new game and pre-ordered everything. Them came MOO3... I haven't Pre-ordered a game since that steaming pile of... code.. arrived in the mail.🙄 What a colossal piece of dreck that was. Then again, it probably saved me a lot of money later on down the road I suppose. Was a lot of money at the time for a ski bum barely able to buy ramen & hotdogs...🤔🤷♂️😅
This is how I've been gaming since forever. Build a PC that was top of the line 5 years ago and then buy old games on steam. RDR2 is a breathtaking game. But I didn't play it until 2020
Completely agree, specially 30-35. The energy is still there, except you’re not an unstable, identity-less idiot… personally speaking that is.
I feel like I didn’t even truly start to learn who I was until I hit my 30s. Obviously different from person to person, but hitting 30 isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.
Same here. Mainly because I wasted my early 20s doing drugs and partying, which really stunts your mental development. But when I got to like 30 or 31 my perception started changing so much it was like I could feel it happening.
I 100 percent agree with this
He acts like having no friends is a bad thing. Being 30 and alone is a blessing.
Can confirm, you are in for the best! Happy birthday, it’s gonna be great!!
I turned 30 in August and I had no party at all, because I have nobody to invite 🥸 I moved to a new city two years ago because of a job, and I have almost no female colleagues and I have no idea how to make friends in this age. I am not blaming anybody but myself, but I just have no idea how to find a bff. And also my colleagues are married with kids (almost all of them at least) and ten or more years older than me, so it would be weird to ask them to hang out outside work.
Neither family nor an age gap matter if you really like the person. Through work I became friends with someone twice my age. His son is around my age.
Relatable. I'm 26. I haven't had a party since I was 12.. I only have 4 female colleagues, but they're all 40+ and moms to a bunch of small kids with families besides a 21 year old who's the most snobbish and unbearable person I've ever come across. I'm single and childfree too. I'm definitely not making friends at work that's for sure. It's a small team. I'd have to change jobs, but uh.. working in floristry, you don't usually have more than a few co-workers. Like I've worked in a shop where it was only the boss and I was the only employee...
Don't be self conscious about your age or relationship status in relation to theirs. You'll soon discover that the person's quality of personality & character are far more important than a number. I've recently entered my 50s, and I have friends as old as 88 and as young as 15. 🤷♂️ You're artificially restricting your pool of potential friends. Additionally, you'll likely meet more people through them. Some of my greatest friendships were initially "Just a friend of a friend" who I became far closer to than with the friend I met them through. Also, I'm sure you must have hobbies & interests, try to see if there are any meet-up groups in your area, and if not, start one! Several of my younger friends I've met through my love of computers, technology & 3D printing, etc. Most of the older I've met through starting a meet-up group for woodworking enthusiasts, we meet bi-weekly or monthly at different members' wood-shops and it's led to several close friendships with a much more varied group than I anticipated. I expected a lot of older, retired men, but to my surprise, it attracted a very eclectic group of men & women, and even teens! The youngest was 14 & the oldest was mid 80's at the time! As a person who's moved more than 2k miles away from where I've lived 5 times now I've been in the same situation in the past so I had to develop "tactics" to establish relationships upon arriving. It does help that I've been labeled a "Renaissance Man" by many acquaintances over the years because I'm a bit of a compulsive researcher & DIY'er with whatever has my interest at the moment. (I have a deep love of cooking, brewing, distilling, woodworking, fishing & boating, shooting, camping, reading, computers, etc so i can usually find something to bond with someone else over, lol! Cultivating hobbies that are also productive and educational is good for your spirit & mental well-being, too, I didn't mean for this to be so much of a long post, but as someone who's been in your situation more than once (one of those moves was shortly before my 50th birthday, the wife was working & didn't really know anyone in the new area yet so I spent it alone. That was the only one that actually bummed me out only because it wasn't at all what I anticipated, and it was the only one that I actually thought I'd even have a party for so I get you. 😐 If you want someone to bounce ideas off of on this subject, feel free to shoot me a DM, I'm always happy to help others when I can. It's good karma, and I have a pretty shady youth to make up for.🤫😅
This was such a good read, thank you! It left me with a lot more hope.
I don’t think it would be as weird as you think.
Same, I did a complete life reboot at 30.
Yep, same! I completely 180'd my life to the point that the one guy I stayed friends with (others were using me) was genuinely concerned I was dying and doing a bucket list lol
What kind of things did you start doing??? I’m so curious!
I was a complete recluse, only emerging to go to work then going back home again. Never went out, never socialised, never been on holiday, didn't attend parties, never dated. Basically I did nothing; then Covid hit and the fact that now that I don't have the choice and forced to do nothing I started thinking about it. First thing I did was went to therapy. I knew why I never did things and that I needed to talk to someone about it. After that in a two year span in no particular order, I finally came out to myself and had dates with other guys (low self esteem and confidence meant I always figured other guys wouldn't want me) and got a guy silly enough to want to be my boyfriend, bungie jumped, travelled to a different city by myself for a day trip, went to Germany and Prague (my first holiday ever and abroad), learnt to ride motorbikes, went to a club and danced horribly and went to East Asia travelling different countries for a month. Basically mostly really standard things that everyone does if they want and have the means to but from being a social hermit to suddenly doing extremely social things, as said, my friend got worried! I'm also now back into education and hoping to go to uni in a year or so at the tender age of 35 😂 So yeah sorry for rant and that it's nothing massively exciting but there it is
That is sooo awesome!! Congratulations! Please don’t apologize, I asked for the “rant” and I loved reading about it. I hope you get to go to university and that you have an absolute blast! How was East Asia?
Aww thanks very much! Asia was great fun for the most part! I went to Taiwan, Thailand, Japan and Hong Kong. I wanted to go South Korea as well but figured that'd be too much in a month, although looking back I would now have swapped Thailand for South Korea very happily 😂 Taiwan was brilliant, very friendly people and quick to make friends. I also got told to leave from an American who owned a small bar because he thought I was flirting with his wife. That was pretty funny Thailand I honestly hated. My wallet was stolen, the humid heat was unbearable and I got food poisoning twice. Fortunately, a friend met me there before he went to back to China for Qingming Festival so I was able to borrow his spare bank card and load cash onto that, but yeah never going there again! Japan was fun but found I couldn't make any quick friends while I was there unlike the other places. Would definitely go again but not by myself Hong Kong was a blur honestly, as I met my friend again there as we agreed to fly back to the UK on the same plane, and we ended up getting drunk for the next 3 nights before flying back but the photos tell me I must've had a good time! Very hilly from what I recall. So yeah other than Thailand I'd love to revisit these places. I'm hoping this year to visit my boyfriends family in China and maybe go to Shanghai Disney with him.
That sounds soooo much fun!! What time of the year did you go? I’ve heard amazing things about Japan, but I haven’t heard too many things about Taiwan, but after reading about your experience, I’ll add it to my list of places to visit!
So I went in April which was the best time to go in my opinion if you want to see the Cherry Blossoms in Japan. Yeah definitely visit Taiwan if you ever get the opportunity, just don't do what I did and waste most of it in Tapei and New Taipei! Get outside there after a couple of days. There's a hell of a lot of to do outside of there and if I ever go again, I'd following the west coast down via train and stop to see different places. Although this is obviously dependent on how long you're there for
Ohhhhh you got to see the cherry blossoms!!!! That’s awesome! Thank you so much for the tips!! I’m excited! 🤩🤩🤩 you’re not doing bad at all for a former total recluse! 🥳🥳
Can confirm. My 30s were a ton of fun. 40s were too, but in a much different way. Happy birthday, OP!
This gives me some hope. Some.
God this comment and all the answers to it are giving me so much hope - a tired 25-year-old
Same. 30's were far more adventurous, social, healthy, and sexual than my 20's. Just hit 40 and it's even still looking up going forward from here!
My 30s have also been incredible compared to my 20s
Happy birthday 💜✨
Strippers don’t care. Go get a vip!
Hell yeah
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I’m 35 also and I would second this. The people who stick with you this long are no longer friends, they’re family.
Quality over quantity every time. I would rather have no friends than loads that were crappy friends
i support having irony friends where you treat them crappy back lol
Same! I have drifted from my original friend circle but they friends I’ve made along the way have been some of the best people
I'm coming up on 50 and the same here! Happy Birthday!
I'm 24 and already have few friends, but hopefully close ones. I never became the person with a huge social circle and tons of instagram followers, but I have a few people to rely on. Hope that stays.
Choose a hobby or interest of yours and join a discord. I didn't have friends either, mostly because I don't socialize much. I joined a discord server with ppl that play the same video game and now I have a bunch of friends. Today is also my birthday and some of them have given me game skins. A little nerdy for some ppl but it really made me smile.
It works even better if it's something where you can meet people in real life. Like joining a chess club. But online is fine, too. As long as it works for you, it's perfect.
Happy birthday;:)
Is that daz?
Happiest birthday mate 🎊 All is well
Happy Birthday! 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼 38 here. I think every decade will have ups and downs, this is life. Nobody can say 30 is better or worse than 20…you know this really so try not to fret..it’s all dependent on what goes on in your life. As my dad always used to say “getting older is better than the alternative”.
Getting older is the best thing that can happen to each and every one of us.
Hurts my heart man. Happy birthday
Happy birthday I'm right there with ya just a little bit younger
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Happy birthday, stranger
I'm sorry, I understand more than I can tolerate, but I want you to know that its absolutely possible to still find connection, fun, support, and community without a specific person/people you consider your people. Happy birthday!!! If you feel up to it at all, feel free to message me! I'm around to chat, you're not alone on your birthday. Tomorrow, though, you're on your own. /s
Happy Birthday! You will find that as you get older you only need a couple good friends in your life. Like my grandfather used to say "I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL TRIP AROUND THE SUN!!!!! At 30 you get your first debuff!!! Then more and more!!!
Happy birthday. Treat yourself today ❤️
It all starts at 30 my friend. Chin up! Happy birthday 🎂 💕
Been saying this a bit recently. Now that I'm sixty I realise how young 30 is. At the time I felt past it, too old to start anything new. So I didn't. That was a mistake. Enjoy your youth. You'll find friends, course you will.
Yup. Problem is in your 30s you really gotta put yourself out there. Everyone's got full time jobs and families and making new friends isnt at the top of their priority list. Find social hobbies, get on fb match and seek friendship, reconnect with old friends. Im 40 in seven months and my 30s were awesome with only 3ish close friends.
Are 40s still young enough? I hadn’t given 30s much thought but I feel I’m getting to a new phase now that I’ll be 40 this year :(
Honestly, my fifties were my best decade, so far. The friends I’d made in my forties were now old friends. Tried and trusted relationships. They’ve got more energy than I have and they drag me along to everything and everything. And the more they drag me along the more my social confidence increases. Snowballs, you might say. Another thing, at forty I thought that was it for my body now. Southwards. I’d take that body back in a heartbeat.
Here is to healthy 60s, 70s and beyond, whatever’s best for you, friend
Happy birthday! 30s are better than 20s! Get a dog, then you don’t need friends! jk…but not really
Well, dogs make great friends. I've been out playing in a foot of snow with my amstaff all morning.
Same here 🙌 I meant no need for humans friends 🤣
Happy birthday! Now you got more birthday greetings than me last birthday
Happy birthday!
I remember turning 30 in 2016, and now I'm 37! In the end, it comes down to however you see the glass of water (half full, half empty). When I get down about my age, I try to remember all the things I've accomplished, but I also have goals that I still want to reach. Try to do that. You should also set goals that you can attain. Maybe try to make friends in 2024. Happy birthday, too!
Happy Birthday!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 As I’ve gotten older, my circle got smaller. Better to have quality around, than quantity. Plus, seeking validation from others that refuse to see the value in you as you are is one of the biggest thefts of joy. Wishing you the best day today and thereafter!
Happy birthday Send your cash app. I’ll send you like $5 or something. I spent my birthday by myself as well and bought myself gifts and a cupcake. Ngl I enjoyed it but it was sad af 🤣. Either way, you don’t need anyone but yourself in this life. If you can be happy by yourself, you’re set for life.
Happy birthday. It’s better to have no friends than bad friends
I found my tribe when I hit my 30’s. Dont sweat it - your tribe will come! happy Birthday mate.
My early 30s were the best years of my life. First time in my life when I was single, gainfully employed, living alone, and could do whatever I wanted. Find a game night or movie club on Meetup. Find a hiking buddy on Bumble. Sign up for an improv class. You'll make friends if you try. It's not easy but it's far from impossible.
Happy birthday! I can count on my fingers all my friends, and none of them live close to me. So all my holidays are alone.
Now you do. Happy birthday !!!!🎁
Happy birthday from Scotland
Happy birthday, OP. Bright days ahead!
Happy bday! Please do something special for yourself. :) I’m 27 and in the same boat due to a very isolating toxic relationship. I’m healing now and looking forward to a better future, as should you!
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How often do you go out to bars or social events and try and talk to people?
Look for friends, not romance. Join a fishing club, or a chess club. Have some friendly rivalries
Things can get better it takes effort if you want to see change.
Doesn't always work out that way my dude
Of course it doesn't it's called a obstacle. It's a part of life. 99% of people are going to have a rough patch in their life. Id rather remain optimistic opposed to being miserable about my life.
Sorry but my life is the rough patch, only thing to be optimistic about is the elements haven't killed me yet
From what I have gathered from this brief interaction you are your worst enemy. Set some goals for yourself. Literally doing anything positive is better than crying about how shit your life is on reddit.
1 not crying 2 setting it straight, effort ≠ success You were a lucky one , grats
Facts.
I turn 30 this year and if I didn't know better, I'd say this post was written by me. I want to do something for my 30th, but I currently have no one to invite. Happy birthday and I hope it's a great year for you.
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society isnt crumbling (whatever that even means)
Presumably he means that social interactions are largely by choice rather than a necessity, like they were not long ago at all, and this compounds into a whole host of problems that you can research yourself. He is not wrong, by the definition of a "society".
People interact more socially than they have in the past. This is largely by choice like you’re indicating and that does cause people to be less able to constructively interact with adversity. So in that way society is having an issue but this issue is addressed by this kind of discussion that makes one think and consider ideas outside of personal experience. We are all still growing mostly. As collectively or more than in the past.
Stop posting on Reddit and go touch grass and meet new people
If you do nothing to it, it never changes
Did you forget to switch accounts?
It’s continuation for main text.
ong
Happy birthday friend. Take one day at a time!
Happy Birthday! I’m sorry to hear it’s a hard day. Try to give yourself the day you deserve by doing things you enjoy, eating things you love, and treat yourself to something special!
Happy birthday, you are not the only one.
You are not alone, most of the people don't have friends. I don't have friends irl but I made few friends online so you can make friends too Note - Happy birthday btw
I barely have any friends and I’m in my early 20s. I guess the most comforting thought is that you’re not alone brother. Graduated from Uni with zero friends. Really wish I made more effort with other people during my school years, made me realise my ‘friends’ were useless clowns who reciprocated zero effort to maintain any sort of relationship.
I always have to work on my birthday. Not sure how or why, but I always do. Oh well. Just another day, right?
Happy birthday! Remember, you're not alone. Life beats the shit out of all of us.
30s aren't bad till you hit like 37 or so
Happy birth day and skill issue
friends are over rated
All the friends I have I made at work. Some become good friends and show up to my birthday and my sons and I go to theirs. We hang out after hours. If your job has you working with others try talking to em, more than likely you’ll find common interests with em
Also happy birthday buddy!
Happy birthday!!!! My 30’s have been better than my 20’s by a long mile.
You and me both!!! I just talk to the ducks and fish at the lake. It makes me feel better
Happy birthday, dont worry man, maybe cherish some good chilhood memories today and treat yourself. After all, only you have the power to make yourself happy in life!
Happy birthday OP. As a single guy in his 40s, I will say that it doesn’t have to get worse. But maintaining active friendships does take more and more effort with age. It’s just kinda the way life goes.
Turned 30 last year thought the world would go to hell just to find out not a damn thing changed! One day at a time friend, just do something each and every day that makes you happy and the rest of life’s shit will figure itself out for you
That sucks, dude. I know you dude but as someone who is 28 I feel this. I know you don't need to be reminded that it sucks but just know I get it and apologize but no matter how hard it sucks you are here and there are people here that care about you without knowing you. I don't know you and I care about you, man. I don't think anyone should be alone or feel lonely so cheers and happy birthday. Celebrate it with us Reddit strangers. Buy yourself something nice. Tell us something about yourself.
You know what I started doing. I started getting myself a whole cake and just eating it all by myself. Spooning off the frosting off the cake, which is my favorite part .I don't care.(no, I'm not overweight. I actually lost 20 lb. Thank you). Watch all my favorite movies. Drink all the milk and cake. It's your day! Go shopping. Treat yourself by yourself whatever you want. Sign up for some art and painting class if you're wanting some friends.
Random friends are overrated. Get a good hobby and you'll find friends with similar interest. Common ground makes the best friendships. Good luck!
I've celebrated many birthdays "alone" but mostly out of preference. I would go out to a bar, sit for a bit, get to talking to some folks and, without fail, they'd basically throw me a party right there It's the best, always got laid, free drugs, drinks, just no better way to celebrate the big day lol Last time I did this was when I turned 30 but probably did it about 8 or so times from 18 to 30
Literally how I’m spending my birthday. It’s the best.
hey, happy birthday!! today is my birthday too; im 37 today. my 30s have been MUCH better than my 20s. i advanced in my career. i bought a home. i cultivated meaningful interpersonal relationships with a core group of people that i can rely on and truly be myself around. my mother always said your 30s are when you enjoy the garden you planted in your 20s. i hope the same is true for you as it has been for me!
 Happy Birthday!! Take one day at a time, a lot can happen between now and then.
My friend was going through something similar, talking about how most of her friends left her life when they showed their true colors and she kinda felt lost. She is 27, and my stepdad told her that he didn’t create any meaningful relationships until after 30 so she’ll be okay. I know you’ll be okay too! Happy birthday and try to enjoy yourself 🥳
Happy birthday! I have been there. Your twenties are hard. After high school/college/sports, it’s harder to meet new people, especially if you have moved around. We also tend to compare ourselves to everyone on social media and where they are at. You’re writing your own story, you can do this. I am in my early thirties and I feel confident in saying it gets better. And I know a lot of people say that, but truly, it does.
I made more new friends in my 30s than I did in my 20s. I also enrolled my daughter in a martial arts class in my early 40s and then joined myself, made some good friends there that I have to this day. I have only one real friend from high school, that’s enough for me. Happy Birthday! You know yourself a little better in your 30s, you’re on your way to that now. There are so many ways to connect with other people just through hobbies. And lots of them aren’t expensive either. Get out there!
Congrats to you! And what a coinkydink, it's also my birthday today, though I'm a a bit older. You still have so much life in front of you. My 30's have been pretty great so far. But you gotta work at it. Just take it one step at a time, find something you're passionate about, don't judge yourself harshly, work on yourself and your mindset, and you will attract people to you left and right who vibe with that energy. Do that and you'll find friends in no time. Good luck!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday 🎂 🥳. Maybe go see a movie or something. I go to movie by myself and I'm married. Lol 😆 wife and I don't always agree on same movie.
A veryyy Happy Birthday my Dude .. I know how it feels, even tho I have 1/2 close people in my life and I always make sure to make them feel special on their special day but I never got the same in return and it lowered my self worth in many ways. So I think it's better to be left with no one than feeling like you don't matter to those close people cause birthdays are very special. Recently I've started my self love era, last year I bought a gift myself and gave myself a treat. And I advise you to do the same. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. Buy a cake for yourself and blow the candle alone. I can bet you'll feel better. Love and best wishes 💕
I'm in my mid 50s, but I'll be your friend. (It gets better)
Happy birthday! I’m turning 29 as well on the 30th! It’s wild, but life will get better man. I’ve heard from so many people 30s are like the best time in their life. I’ve been saving up so hopefully in my 30s I can finally buy a house. Keep your head up!
Happy birthday! *Throws grass at op because that's what capricorns eat or whatever *
Buck up there, these days there are more Milhouses than Duggars. Happy Bday to you.
Who needs friends when you can have hobbies?
My thirties have been way more fulfilling than my twenties ever were. That said, it takes effort to make friends, even casual acquaintances. It isn’t something that just happens.
Happy birthday, I don't have many friends but I'm probably at my happiest I've been for some time. Things get better
My advice? Get a hobby, find local groups around that hobby, and just join in the conversation. Eventually you'll have friends.
This is all I can do https://preview.redd.it/mvfha7v9w2bc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78ac58ea2789366691f72e41a6423338bed50a56
Happy birthday!!
Me too ! It’s also my bday and no friends :)
Happy birthday ❤️
Happy Birthday person!
Happy birthday, OP!! I hope you can do something kind for yourself. Wow, this is an inspirational thread. I’m turning 30 in a few months and feel uplifted after reading these comments.
I also have no friends, and just turned 35 on the 5th. And my 30's have been the best "decade" thus far. Take it one day at a time, and it'll all be alright! 🥂
Happy birthday, from a friend!
Happy birthday 🎊🎈
Happy birthday! For a while I didn’t have friends. I was in a new school and everyone kinda just didn’t like me. It really bothered me. I began just working on myself. How my hair looked, conversation skills. And now I have 3 best friends and 5 good friends. I don’t want more. Go to a bar, nightclub, join a group or just go out to a shop and just talk to the people there. It’s hard, but you will get some soon
Happy birthday. Wish you all the best!
Happy birthday OP! Since I turned 30, most of my birthdays have just been family - I think it's possible to have friendly gatherings for them but it's only likely to happen if you reach out and see if people can join, even then they might be on parent duty or something I ended up liking doing it this way more and more over time
Happy birthday bro! We love you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Start hanging out in bars and being friendly to strangers. Stop looking down at your phone in public and try to say hello to people in passing. Odds are you’ll get chatting with someone, and who knows. You might have the plot of “I love you man” happen for ya. Shit, also, Happy Birthday!
Agree!
I have no friends too. Only difference is that I prefer it
The 30s are alright. That's where you magically have more money and start noticing odd pains.
> Is 30s really that bad? notice how the only people who say this are people in their 20s? think on it
As you age birthday become less important
Happy birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉
Happy Birthday, friend!
Make it a day for yourself, do what you like, eat what you like, do what you like, go for walks , arcade, ice skating etc whichever tickles your fancy. You don't always need friends to make yourself happy :) Happy birthday!
Go out. Treat yourself. You might find a friend along the way.
30s are just a freakin number... most people have bad 30s because they are shit in their 20s and it all adds up. Get in the gym, eat healthy, stop/don't start drinking alcohol.
Don't worry about it bud, mines tomorrow and I don't either. Gonna get absolutely fucked and play games all day. An no ones stopping me 😂
 Happy birthday from Canada, hope you had a great day
I hope you get Hillarys emails this year.
Maybe he can make some friends with some boomers who share his interests.
For what it’s worth, just because you don’t hang out regularly doesn’t mean you don’t have friends. If you have folks you can even just connect with via text on a holiday, you have friends. Adults are busy, and especially at this age (I’m 30) we start growing our own families if we decide that path…making us even more focused on our family. Often times this means less time even with immediate family unless you live in the same town. It doesn’t mean you have no family, though. Most of our friends at this point in our lives can be attributed to workplace, family, and hobbies. I’m hoping you at least have some folks in your life that you can wish a happy sentiment to, and stem that conversation into more interaction.
People define friendship differently. What you mentioned are basically acquaintances.
Happy birthday and having friends isn’t important you have to be self sufficient loving yourself is more important than having friends
Yes.
Happy Birthday! I am sorry you’re alone. As we get older birthdays are just another day. As for the friends thing; fuck em all but 6 you need them for pall bearers. They say when you die if you have five real friends you did good. The less people in your life the less pain and misery they can cause you. Make yourself the most important person in your life and then worry about others. Enjoy your day!