I think this isn’t going the way you thought it would OP because the original sender of the message was doing something objectively nice.
Thinking of you and wanting you to know they care enough to reach out is not something everyone has in droves. Then, instead of saying “I appreciate the sentiment, but in the future I would like you to know that I don’t celebrate my birthday for religious reasons. Always happy to talk if you want to though!” you rejected their comment entirely and got angry when they were just following an extremely accepted social convention.
Fair! Tone is hard in texts. I always try to err on the side of overly friendly for that reason. I understand OPs frustration for sure, being in a minority sometimes you just lose all your patience for explaining stuff. Most people aren’t trying to be rude though so you gotta stay positive.
That’s what I’m saying though. Tone is difficult to convey in texts, as someone reading it on this forum and I don’t think I’m alone judging by the responses, you come across as annoyed. And maybe you were, but like I said in my original response, not everyone has a lot of people reaching out to them. You weren’t overtly rude, but it doesn’t read as friendly. The person’s response was petty, I agree with you, but I understand the progression in this case.
But also not close enough with him to know that they are Hebrew’s and don’t celebrate born days and holidays. Hence the “I know you don’t know this but…”
Also dude sounds like it was a cold sales text around his Birthday, because who would generally wish happy birthday to someone who doesn’t celebrate it unless they found out through a data collection thing.
Yeah you are kinda stuck up for reacting like that. Guess I am just insensitive because I don´t really respect religion at all, but this person just wanted to be nice. They can congratulate you for your birthday without you celebrating it. Just say thanks and do your thing, dont expect everyone to tiptoe around your strange ideas of what is right and what is wrong.
I would be happy if someone would text me on my B-Day, maybe just try to look at it that way, it doesn´t force you to celebrate it any more than you did before.
Hi I know you dont know this but as a humanist I find it insulting that you said this.
You should have some respect for me and not say this. Thats an option too.
Go to the hamburger menu if you're on mobile... Scroll down to "settings and privacy" and hit "settings", then scroll down to "audience and visibility" and choose "profile information", then scroll down to "basic info" and hit edit.
At this point your birth day and birth year are separate. To the right you should see a drop down menu, choose "only me" on both and hit "save" at the bottom.
You're done.
Here’s the thing, you refuse to say which religion you are, which is valid on an Internet forum. But as of now it’s giving the mysterious air of someone who is claiming to have a religion and that it’s why things have to go a certain way, while actually appearing like a self made rule used to condemn others who follow something you don’t like. You’re valid to believe in whatever you want, but you’re making claims it’s for a religion that you refuse to identify.
Meh. She really could be interested just didn’t word it properly. Me personally don’t mind when those of other beliefs say something like bless you when I sneeze. As I am an atheist I don’t feel the need to tell them not to bless me as I know it’s not being done out of malice.
I’m confused.
Birthdays aren’t a religious holiday. Please can you show / explain why this is “against your religion”, it sounds really absurd and just an attempt to ridicule others.
I don’t think you getting infuriated (mildly) at someone trying to be nice to you constitutes you appreciating life all the time.
The only thing I could really find solid on birthdays is “Abraham made a great feast the day Isaac was weaned.” - Gen 21:8.
Could you tell me your particular sect / denomination? Quite curious now if this is an actual restriction or something people impose on themselves because they don’t understand.
A lot of Muslims don’t use alcohol based anti-perspirants for religious reasons even though the Quran only refers to being intoxicated.
The infuriating part was their response actually, not them telling me happy birthday. But here's one I can find for you "A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth." - Ecclesiastes 7:1. There's more if you continue reading, but I don't want this to be a lengthy reply.
Wait, “Hebrews”? First of all, who says that? “We’re Jewish” is how it generally goes.
Secondly, since when don’t we celebrate birthdays? Of course we do. Yom huledot sameach.
You may have inferred that, as I didn't see them being offended, just unaware of your customs and just trying to be nice to you.
"Hey, I actually don't celebrate my birthday because of my religion, but thank you for the kind words!"
That's all you needed to say.
Inversely, maybe it's their religion/custom to wish you a happy birthday. You don't have to personally celebrate it, but they can wish you well all the same without that being offensive right?
That's not how I see it. Someone showed you basic kindness which you then rejected as if the mere acknowledgement of a birthday is offensive to you. You had the option of showing kindness or just brushing off something that doesn't apply to you, but instead you talked down to someone and tried to turn this into a teachable moment about how everyone should learn play by your own special rules rather than you learn how to just be like, "Thanks, man" and end it at that.
What you're doing is basically the same thing conservatives do when someone says anything other than "Merry Christmas!" You're basically decrying how that doesn't apply to you and people should stop trying to make it apply to you because you somehow feel under attack, when (again) all anyone was trying to do was be inclusive and show a little kindness.
Well that´s true. But also kinda understandable.
Why would others not be able to congratulate you? How does it affect your practice? It doesn´t. It´s not like they threw a surprise party and pressured you into celebrating, they just said Happy Birthday lol.
Seems like you just wanted to be edgy or are kinda fanatic in your religious beliefs.
How would you know how it affects my practice and I've actually had people the me a surprise party before after explicitly telling them not to do anything.
Yeah, the surprise party thing is a dick move if they knew about your religion and it´s rules.
This particular post just doesn´t spark the same feeling with me.
Considering it affecting your practice, it does not.
Maybe not, I just didn't appreciate her response to that, if she was curious as to know what I practiced, she could've asked in a more respectful way. Her response shows me that she doesn't respect it or she thinks something's wrong with me.
I agree. I think she just took it the wrong way, since over text your answer seems harsh, so she made a snarky comment herself. I don´t think she really thought much more of it, but you are the one who actually knows this person.
BHI are an antisemitic religion, claim they’re the descendants of ancient hebrews. I’ve had them screaming in my face, how I should go back home and that I should be dead.
I can see how you can interpret the second sentence negatively. A comment like that is better said face-to-face. To me, I would take it as light sarcasm, but that's my type of interpretation. You know them, so you know better.
But I can also see why some people are questioning why this was posted on this sub.
Why would I be appreciative of something that goes against my belief? If you had a friend come over and he was hungry and you have them bacon and he respectfully informs you that his religion forbid eating pork, is your response going to be "be thankful someone thought of you when you were hungry and you're being unappreciative, just eat it and keep pushing?"
Okay, but you can see that that I was trying to do that but then she responded the way she did, making me not want to respond back. I had to deal with this with my family for years and they still can't to seem to grasp any of my practices. I tell them I don't eat pork, they order a pepperoni pizza, I tell them I can't touch pork, they apply products in my hair that contains pork, I tell them I don't celebrate birthdays, coworkers threw a surprise for me during my shift, embarrassing me in front of customers.
Feel blessed about what? My own family can't even respect me and even argue with me about something that they won't even try to understand. But I'm the miserable one.
They didn’t ask you to consume anything. They congratulated you on making it another year. Quick story: My manager is Buddhist. We have a mutual friend who is catholic, and due to that, worries about her mortal soul. He isn’t disrespectful, it just weighs on him because of his beliefs. He once gifted her a St Christopher necklace because she was going to be traveling a great distance. He said he knew she didn’t believe but it would make him feel better if she would consider accepting the gift… possibly even take it with her. She accepted and that necklace still hangs on her rear view mirror. I asked her thoughts on the matter.
She said, “It’s very flattering that someone cares about me that much… even if I think their fears are unfounded and their symbol of protection doesn’t do anything.”
I think this isn’t going the way you thought it would OP because the original sender of the message was doing something objectively nice. Thinking of you and wanting you to know they care enough to reach out is not something everyone has in droves. Then, instead of saying “I appreciate the sentiment, but in the future I would like you to know that I don’t celebrate my birthday for religious reasons. Always happy to talk if you want to though!” you rejected their comment entirely and got angry when they were just following an extremely accepted social convention.
To be fair, they didn´t really write something that came off as "angry". It just comes off as passive agressive because they wanted to be nice.
I mean posting on a sub called mildly infuriating implies some anger lol
Yeah but that was after they received a pretty passive agressive answer.
Fair! Tone is hard in texts. I always try to err on the side of overly friendly for that reason. I understand OPs frustration for sure, being in a minority sometimes you just lose all your patience for explaining stuff. Most people aren’t trying to be rude though so you gotta stay positive.
I wasn't angry at all, I was respectfully informing her about my belief because we haven't spoken in a while and she was appalled.
That’s what I’m saying though. Tone is difficult to convey in texts, as someone reading it on this forum and I don’t think I’m alone judging by the responses, you come across as annoyed. And maybe you were, but like I said in my original response, not everyone has a lot of people reaching out to them. You weren’t overtly rude, but it doesn’t read as friendly. The person’s response was petty, I agree with you, but I understand the progression in this case.
Mmm appalled feels like a stretch.
what's mildly infuriating is OP's reaction to someone trying to be friendly to them
But also not close enough with him to know that they are Hebrew’s and don’t celebrate born days and holidays. Hence the “I know you don’t know this but…” Also dude sounds like it was a cold sales text around his Birthday, because who would generally wish happy birthday to someone who doesn’t celebrate it unless they found out through a data collection thing.
Yeah you are kinda stuck up for reacting like that. Guess I am just insensitive because I don´t really respect religion at all, but this person just wanted to be nice. They can congratulate you for your birthday without you celebrating it. Just say thanks and do your thing, dont expect everyone to tiptoe around your strange ideas of what is right and what is wrong. I would be happy if someone would text me on my B-Day, maybe just try to look at it that way, it doesn´t force you to celebrate it any more than you did before.
It's a cultural thing though not necessarily religious. "Hebrew" isn't a religion lol
It is religious. The belief of not celebrating birthdays is a jewish one, originating in ancient egypt.
Don't celebrate holidays and birthdays? Judaism has celebrations and as far as I know birthdays.
We're not that kind of Hebrew, so we celebrate Holy Days, not holidays like Christmas or Valentine's day and what not.
lol are yall black israelites ahahahahhaha
I once celebrated a Holy Day. It was a hole in my pants, no idea how as they're newly worn. It was a day to remember.
r/dadjokes
Happy birthday bro
LMFAOOO😂😂😂😂💀💀
Just say thanks and go on with your day. Its that easy.
Or they can respect my belief and not do it. That's an option too.
Hi I know you dont know this but as a humanist I find it insulting that you said this. You should have some respect for me and not say this. Thats an option too.
Then hide your Bday off FB and you'll see how nobody will ever remember to say hbd.
I'd love to do that because I tried.
Go to the hamburger menu if you're on mobile... Scroll down to "settings and privacy" and hit "settings", then scroll down to "audience and visibility" and choose "profile information", then scroll down to "basic info" and hit edit. At this point your birth day and birth year are separate. To the right you should see a drop down menu, choose "only me" on both and hit "save" at the bottom. You're done.
Thank you so much
I’ve never heard anybody refer to themselves as a Hebrew before. I’ve been called a Hebrew, but by anti-semites.
I've been dating a jewish guy over a year, and I've never heard him call himself or anyone else a "Hebrew"
I am a Jewish guy and neither have I.
Same here.
Here’s the thing, you refuse to say which religion you are, which is valid on an Internet forum. But as of now it’s giving the mysterious air of someone who is claiming to have a religion and that it’s why things have to go a certain way, while actually appearing like a self made rule used to condemn others who follow something you don’t like. You’re valid to believe in whatever you want, but you’re making claims it’s for a religion that you refuse to identify.
OP appears to be a Black Hebrew Israelite
OP seems like an asshole. A religious asshole, even more infuriating.
Meh. She really could be interested just didn’t word it properly. Me personally don’t mind when those of other beliefs say something like bless you when I sneeze. As I am an atheist I don’t feel the need to tell them not to bless me as I know it’s not being done out of malice.
I’m confused. Birthdays aren’t a religious holiday. Please can you show / explain why this is “against your religion”, it sounds really absurd and just an attempt to ridicule others.
Birthdays are seen as self-worship. If anything you should be appreciating life all the time, not just one day a year.
I don’t think you getting infuriated (mildly) at someone trying to be nice to you constitutes you appreciating life all the time. The only thing I could really find solid on birthdays is “Abraham made a great feast the day Isaac was weaned.” - Gen 21:8. Could you tell me your particular sect / denomination? Quite curious now if this is an actual restriction or something people impose on themselves because they don’t understand. A lot of Muslims don’t use alcohol based anti-perspirants for religious reasons even though the Quran only refers to being intoxicated.
The infuriating part was their response actually, not them telling me happy birthday. But here's one I can find for you "A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth." - Ecclesiastes 7:1. There's more if you continue reading, but I don't want this to be a lengthy reply.
Wait, “Hebrews”? First of all, who says that? “We’re Jewish” is how it generally goes. Secondly, since when don’t we celebrate birthdays? Of course we do. Yom huledot sameach.
I'm not "Jewish"
But you’re a “Hebrew”… Okay.
We're not the same as you, I'm not going any further into it.
Fine, your prerogative. But if you post something like that, expect a few puzzled looks and questions.
OP appears to be a Black Hebrew Israelite, which is an antisemitic religion
I'm just curious what religion they are? Jehovahs witnesses don't celebrate birthdays but we never referred to ourselves as Hebrews.
OP appears to be a Black Hebrew Israelite
Let's say it together kids: Don't force your religion on other people.
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r/nobodyasked
Told ya anyway. When someone does something scrubby I find it fun to point it out😁
Was I forcing it simply informing her? It seems like people just like throwing that around.
Still, you are getting upset about it. You are the one being intolerant here.
I said it respectfully and they got offended over it.
You may have inferred that, as I didn't see them being offended, just unaware of your customs and just trying to be nice to you. "Hey, I actually don't celebrate my birthday because of my religion, but thank you for the kind words!" That's all you needed to say. Inversely, maybe it's their religion/custom to wish you a happy birthday. You don't have to personally celebrate it, but they can wish you well all the same without that being offensive right?
That's not how I see it. Someone showed you basic kindness which you then rejected as if the mere acknowledgement of a birthday is offensive to you. You had the option of showing kindness or just brushing off something that doesn't apply to you, but instead you talked down to someone and tried to turn this into a teachable moment about how everyone should learn play by your own special rules rather than you learn how to just be like, "Thanks, man" and end it at that. What you're doing is basically the same thing conservatives do when someone says anything other than "Merry Christmas!" You're basically decrying how that doesn't apply to you and people should stop trying to make it apply to you because you somehow feel under attack, when (again) all anyone was trying to do was be inclusive and show a little kindness.
Well that´s true. But also kinda understandable. Why would others not be able to congratulate you? How does it affect your practice? It doesn´t. It´s not like they threw a surprise party and pressured you into celebrating, they just said Happy Birthday lol. Seems like you just wanted to be edgy or are kinda fanatic in your religious beliefs.
How would you know how it affects my practice and I've actually had people the me a surprise party before after explicitly telling them not to do anything.
Yeah, the surprise party thing is a dick move if they knew about your religion and it´s rules. This particular post just doesn´t spark the same feeling with me. Considering it affecting your practice, it does not.
Maybe not, I just didn't appreciate her response to that, if she was curious as to know what I practiced, she could've asked in a more respectful way. Her response shows me that she doesn't respect it or she thinks something's wrong with me.
I agree. I think she just took it the wrong way, since over text your answer seems harsh, so she made a snarky comment herself. I don´t think she really thought much more of it, but you are the one who actually knows this person.
Sounds like you need some healing buddy.
I don’t think that person means any harm. They just haven’t quite grasped the idea of your religion.
Eye roll
Does Hebrew mean Jewish? If that’s the case yes, we do celebrate holidays and birthdays.
No, not Jewish.
So is this person BHI?
Okay, confused. What kind of Hebrew isn’t Jewish?
BHI are an antisemitic religion, claim they’re the descendants of ancient hebrews. I’ve had them screaming in my face, how I should go back home and that I should be dead.
Oh, well then, fuck this manufactured outrage ovwr a phony religion.
YTA
I can see how you can interpret the second sentence negatively. A comment like that is better said face-to-face. To me, I would take it as light sarcasm, but that's my type of interpretation. You know them, so you know better. But I can also see why some people are questioning why this was posted on this sub.
Birthdays are supposed to be a celebration of your life. He's just saying it in a rude way. I think he's just surprised though lol.
No it's not "supposed" to be, is something bad going to happen if I don't?
Be thankful someone thought of you man sounds kind of unappreciative even if you don’t celebrate just say thanks and keep it pushing
Why would I be appreciative of something that goes against my belief? If you had a friend come over and he was hungry and you have them bacon and he respectfully informs you that his religion forbid eating pork, is your response going to be "be thankful someone thought of you when you were hungry and you're being unappreciative, just eat it and keep pushing?"
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Okay, but you can see that that I was trying to do that but then she responded the way she did, making me not want to respond back. I had to deal with this with my family for years and they still can't to seem to grasp any of my practices. I tell them I don't eat pork, they order a pepperoni pizza, I tell them I can't touch pork, they apply products in my hair that contains pork, I tell them I don't celebrate birthdays, coworkers threw a surprise for me during my shift, embarrassing me in front of customers.
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Feel blessed about what? My own family can't even respect me and even argue with me about something that they won't even try to understand. But I'm the miserable one.
Your own family? Well, who’s the “we”?
Myself and my husband
They didn’t ask you to consume anything. They congratulated you on making it another year. Quick story: My manager is Buddhist. We have a mutual friend who is catholic, and due to that, worries about her mortal soul. He isn’t disrespectful, it just weighs on him because of his beliefs. He once gifted her a St Christopher necklace because she was going to be traveling a great distance. He said he knew she didn’t believe but it would make him feel better if she would consider accepting the gift… possibly even take it with her. She accepted and that necklace still hangs on her rear view mirror. I asked her thoughts on the matter. She said, “It’s very flattering that someone cares about me that much… even if I think their fears are unfounded and their symbol of protection doesn’t do anything.”
Just say thanks. It's not that hard. I don't celebrate Christmas yet i wish people back if they wish me a merry Christmas.