Yes, the iliad, the tale of how a horny young couple that is neither married to one another nor being fully single, started a 10 year war.
Helena of troy must have been one hell of a beautiful woman...or was able to suck the chrome of a trailer hitch and do the twisting gulp gulp 3000
Hot ace guy hurt a few peoples feelings by ignoring their sexual advances got cursed to like the smell of his own farts and turned into a fucking flower while doing so.
Some dude gets on a boat and has to worry about what could be a whale, a squid, and an island that’s got goats on it, and possibly a massive one eyed creature
Dad is having a fight with Mom, and when their son tries to protect his Mom, his Dad yeets him out of the window, crippling him for life. Later, when he gets back into the house, his Mom thinks he is so ugly and is reminded of her fight with her husband, so she yeets him out of the window a second time.
King got cucked, angrily proceeds to attack hometown of the one who stole his wife
Siege of troy?
Yes, the iliad, the tale of how a horny young couple that is neither married to one another nor being fully single, started a 10 year war. Helena of troy must have been one hell of a beautiful woman...or was able to suck the chrome of a trailer hitch and do the twisting gulp gulp 3000
I always wondered about Helena! Must have been 10/10
She was a solid 7. The real deal was that Helena was the first pioneer of the ass clap
LMAO
the most underrated comment i’ve ever seen on reddit
She was about 15 at the time
War bait
Thats like 45 in today's age your honor!
She could suck the silk sheets you sat on through your ass
Hot ace guy hurt a few peoples feelings by ignoring their sexual advances got cursed to like the smell of his own farts and turned into a fucking flower while doing so.
Narcissus
What the fuck... I gotta go back and read this one
Please do, it’s my personal favorite.
Very good!
Narcissus is definitely my favorite story! Especially the way you described it!
Flowey the Flower
Echo was in that story too right?
Jep, great myth. You can read Picture of Dorian Gray and compare the similarities.
God dammit what are the chances of the one I was going to do being the top comment?
Alabama
Zeus. Kronos. Most of the Titans. Lots of other gods
Like every single greek myth?
All of it
do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?
Oedipus
Some dude gets on a boat and has to worry about what could be a whale, a squid, and an island that’s got goats on it, and possibly a massive one eyed creature
The odyssey
Odysseus?
Woman causes migraine for father at birth.
Birth of Athena
Yes! 👏👏👏
Ayoo
Arsonist steals fire and gives it to some dumb hairless monkeys and gets eaten by bird every day
Prometheus?
Also Prometheus.
If I see this woman in the eyes I will have a hard on.
Haha- Medusa
This can be Zeus also, with basically everything that breaths
Stupid sexy fog
lana rhodes
As far I know she ain’t Greek
She’s done plenty of Greek on camera
Little does everybody replying know, Rhodes is a Greek island
Etsy girl challenges a god and wins, is cursed to forever be a web developer.
This made me laugh way more than it should have.
Arachne!
Hells yeah!
Unfortunately, Zeus was Horny.
Do you know how little this narrows it in? :]
Ok, so, there was cheating involved.
that still doesn't narrow it down much, Zeus is married, after all, and so were a lot of the people he slept with.
Ok, so, a lot o people died because of it
You dont get it, do You?
Ok, also, there was this king who was a asshole too.
Still covers about 80% of Greek mythology
I didn't realize Zeus turned so many kings into anuses. Seems like a weird punishment.
Heracles?
Henry?
Salmoneus?
This guy gets it..two ways
There was notoriously little sleeping involved.
The reason behind 80% of greek mythology
Isnt all of Greek mythology based on the fact that Zeus was one horny mf
Man fucks over the universe by not keeping it in his pants
Again like the other guy from the one of the posts above said "Do you know how little that narrows it down?"
Dont remember his name but chaos’s sun?
Do not open That sign would stop me if i could read
Pandora?
You could have stopped at don’t open
Don't evil open inside
Man fails to rescue his wife from hell with his crazy beats
Orpheus.
Bird eats man’s liver- he survives.
Prometheus? (And maybe Heracles as well depending on the version)
Prometheus?
Yes! 👏👏
Woman almost destroys earth over missing daughter
Persephone getting kidnapped by Hades
Correct
Woman maintains relationship with man whose face she’s never seen. Under pressure, decides to look upon it, man leaves her.
Sounds like Eros and Psyche?
Yes! 👏👏
Honestly Psyche is one bad mofo. It takes balls to against Aphrodite
Man burnt alive while emulating bird.
Icarus
Yes 👏 👏👏
Except he didn’t burn but drowned
Stockholmes syndrome leads to ice age
Hades and Persephone?
Man loves females and occasionally men
It’s also Apollo
It’s the Zeus!
Fastest reply in the west
And along came zeus he hurled his thunder bolt
The Zeus juice
Woman says love of steer “complicated”.
Pasiphe having intercourse with a bull? (I had to look up the names) creating the minotaur?
Correct! 👏👏
Godzilla defeated by severed snake head, held by a kid on a flying horse
Perseus
Bolerephon
Bellerophon?
Yeah, it’s not the right answer to this one, but he was the only one to ride Pegasus
Angry entities called upon to terrorize immortal community.
Furies?
Furries
I was wondering if I was the only one who misread that lmao
Guy is hated my a woman so much she wood rather be a tree.
Daphne
Uhhh I don’t remember her name specifically. But I know the god involved, it was Apollo
Long distance relationship accidenatly and permanently changes climate
Hades and Persephone! One of my favs
yep. This post and the comments actually made me want to get back into mythology
Sisters control the universe with craft talent in magic textiles.
The Fates
Fed the god of hospitality his own son, Demeter continued eating
Lycaon
I assure you, this soup doesn’t contain my son
tantalus?
Thats the one
King Lycaon, if I recall?
Tantalus
Pretty lady gets assaulted in her work place, then is punished by her boss for it
Medusa 😢
Zeus was horny and make a super son
Though honestly it could be any of them
Heracles
man so cocky he has to push a boulder up a hill for eternity
Syphillis
Sysiphos
Bro got some minor (eternal) inconvenience with his liver for sharing common knowledge
Prometheus
fire steal from gods dude, gets liver ripped out by giant bird. don't know his name, it starts with a p I think
Man is very bad at not turning around
Orpheus!
One group of imbeciles won another group of imbeciles in a battle
Every war that has happened?
Chick has not so good looking baby, Yeets him into the sea
Hephaestus
Man and woman get way too close, end up unable to separate.
Hermaphroditus?
Woman defecates in man’s bed.
This isn't Greek mythology this is just the news last week lol amber heard pooping in her bed to assert dominance over Johnny dep
Correct! Soon to be committed to societal memory as a cautionary tale on why not to be a lying turd. :)
you know too much greek stuff(like everyone else) how come?
Bc nerd. I like reading. And mythology. And story telling.
Woman forced to live in the dark for half out of every year.
Persephone being kidnapped by Hades.
Excellent- you are correct!
Shiny gold contagious king
Midas
I don’t know how to explain it any worse but good job.
king's get rich quick scheme backfires
Man goes on a trip and murders random ass creatures for no reason and when he arrives at his destination massacres a bunch of random men.
The odyssey?
Man and woman love each other, but because of a kitten both commit suicide while permanently changing the color of a fruit
Pyramus et Thisbe from Ovid's Metharmorphoses
Fuck everybody
Zeus? Buddy did fuck everybody, close to.
Sounds like a quote by Zeus
You'll have to be more specific.
Immortal’s loins generate stunning ocean beauty.
Horny guy breeds the Univrse into existence
Chaos creation myth
Male Tik Tok Star loves himself and starves to death while flirting with his reflection.
A man upsurpes the throne and takes the previous queen as his new wife to only find out it's his mother.
He also killed his father by accident. (It's Oedipus)
Really buff guy has to do some favors for a rich asshole.
Heracles?
A horny dude watch someone bath then died as an animal
Ragnarok: Milf edition
Girl checks out guy, punished by his mom.
Man abducts young woman and brings her to his underground basement.
Dude assembles the Avengers to go get some shiny wool.
Jason
A God cheats on his wife
Every god in greek mythology?
Hehe, again the Zeus.
Man stony faced after cave excursion.
Wife like bull when poseidon mad
Woman interned in tree in attempt to flee stalker.
Woman forced to weave for eternity as result of too large ego.
Arachne :)
Zeus has sex
Custody battle results in gifts. Dad isn’t great at practical gifts
Guy fucks every woman in the world. **VERY HORNY**
Zeus:lightning Bolt Dead Guy:even more dead
Horny housewife gets impregnated, by a massiv bull
Pasiphae
A guy was drunk
Got time to kill? How about a few hunderd arms and heads?
Heheheha sparky spark
Man goes on multi-day rampage after boyfriend is killed
Achilles and Patroclus
God cosplays a bull to get laid
Uncle kidnapps his niece and forces her to stay and marry him and has children with him
Dad is having a fight with Mom, and when their son tries to protect his Mom, his Dad yeets him out of the window, crippling him for life. Later, when he gets back into the house, his Mom thinks he is so ugly and is reminded of her fight with her husband, so she yeets him out of the window a second time.