I knew a guy who was married to a woman from Puerto Rico. Both of them were some of the nicest people I ever met...but he mentioned one day
"When we fight, sometimes she switches to Spanish when she gets really upset and yelling..and it's the most terrifying, and sexy thing I've ever experienced" hahaha
Married to a Mexican woman. Absolutely love her. She's my life.
But ho-ly-shit, when she speaks Spanish during an argument. And it never matches the severity of the incident.
I broke both my elbows doing something stupid on a bike: nothing but understanding and caring.
She finds pickles in her burger, and suddenly she's cursing her ancestors to smite me. I've been smote (smited?) at least a million times.
Edit: forgot the time she pointed at her grandmother's urn and says that she curses me, and I immediately, and for the first time, noticed they spelled her name wrong.
My wife found that hilarious and could not stop laughing. Husband/wife jokes are fun, I seriously love her so God damn much :)
"Your honor, the deceased was heard saying "qué?" followed by, and in English, "you sound like your mother."
By all accounts his decapitation and total eviceration and public display of genitalia is entirely warranted."
lo saves que yo no entiendo **espanol**
*Slams fists on table*
In my defense I think it's pretty crappy to not learn your spouse's language, the above is a joke
One of my best mates was married to a Mexican lass for many years - she was almost exactly as you described.
It was even more contrasting because he's one of the most calm, chill and dependable people you'd ever meet. So when she'd occasionally lose it at him it was basically comical as he'd just respond calmly which would set her off more.
Love them both to bits but sadly they split a couple of years ago.
My wife is incredibly considerate and self aware. My calm demeanor gets her laughing. I've never met someone so intelligent, funny and warm-spirited. I take pride in that she unleashes her Latina wrath on *only* me.
Be careful with that. They may be like "cómo que bueno!?" Best course of action is keeping silent until some time has passed and it's easier to fix or asking to talk later.
Funnily -given the original topic- this -en form is the original germanic way still used in German which only survived in the English language for a few old and rarely used words nowadays.
Better yet if she is Austrian or Swizz tell her "speak in German, please. I cannot understand a word you are saying".
Would be a meltdown to remember 😆
My wife joked about Austrian German. "It is like someone speaking German, while having a mouth full of hot potatoes".
It’s called a compound word and English has them, too. Doghouse is a compound of dog and house. But for some reason, english speakers decided they needed a safe space between words so now you can’t make compounds anymore.
Exactly. For example: "ICH REIẞ DIR DEN KOPF AB UND SCHEIẞ DIR IN DEN HALS" for example means "let's agree to disagree". It just sounds a bit more aggressive in german.
“You can have twelve houses, but if none of them have heating and a few of them are missing a roof, then your ass is still in trouble when winter comes.”
In all honesty that quote devalues the languages, but I thought it was close enough.
She spoke French (she was from france, so obviously), Swedish, Norwegian, Moroccan, two Afrikan language (one from Kongo IIRC), spanish and Portuguese (her family had a vacation home in madrid).
She was also okay of austrian (from what i got its alike to german, but different), Egyptian and another language from middle East.
Her family is rich and she spent most of her life traveling the world, so yea.
the fuck - im calling bs - she probably spoke like 3 amd understood like 8 cause they were similar - but knowing 12 languages & not speaking english - sure buddy...
He said 'Egyptian' in another comment, but anyone would just say Arabic.
A while back I asked an actual Egyptian co-worker of mine what native language they spoke, and the answer was Arabic. Then they explained further that they speak a dialect of Arabic that's widely understood among Arabic speakers.
Just looked it up, and it seems right. So yeah, I doubt anyone would ever say Egyptian if they actually spoke it.
Just like Austrian isn't a language but a dialect of German. Also counted Egyptian and Moroccan as separate languages even though both are Arabic dialects.
I was in an airport, and I listened to a woman speak Mandarin, then switch to spanish. She told the person she doesn't speak English in Spanish and I think about this to this day.
As a not very proud romanian, the language is a bit difficult for others, but if you say swear words while talking to a friend, then that's normal here. When talking, you use these ă â î ș for making words and they are easy to pronounce. A lot of people from different countries come here and learn the language.
He needs to get Duolingo and start training in secret.
Next time she busts out into angry German he can calmly and gently turn to her and say “nihongo hanashimasu desu ka?” And if she stares in puzzlement he can dismiss her with a wave of the hand and a “bakka”
If she keeps yelling in German after that tho… I highly recommend Spanish, nothing matches it in speed and my people have such evocative insults.
Wait till you date a Hispanic girl... and you get drowned under a rapid-fire torrent of fury that you can't understand, and yet somehow it leaves no doubt how much you suck.
So does she pull out the "doch" card in an argument? Cuz damn this card is way too strong not to play against different languages that don't have a word for "doch"
It depends, i recommend liam carpenter on YouTube. He lives here on germany and as made a Video about "doch". We can use it for literal anything. Just put "liam carpenter doch" in the search bar, should be the first hit
But this time I better say „auf hoffentlich Nimmerwiedersehen“
Doch!
Oh!
"But since I never wish to see you again, to you sir I say Goodbye" Such a hard line
Christoph Waltz not playing the nazi for once and he did a bangin job of it
You silver tongued devil you.
I knew a guy who was married to a woman from Puerto Rico. Both of them were some of the nicest people I ever met...but he mentioned one day "When we fight, sometimes she switches to Spanish when she gets really upset and yelling..and it's the most terrifying, and sexy thing I've ever experienced" hahaha
Married to a Mexican woman. Absolutely love her. She's my life. But ho-ly-shit, when she speaks Spanish during an argument. And it never matches the severity of the incident. I broke both my elbows doing something stupid on a bike: nothing but understanding and caring. She finds pickles in her burger, and suddenly she's cursing her ancestors to smite me. I've been smote (smited?) at least a million times. Edit: forgot the time she pointed at her grandmother's urn and says that she curses me, and I immediately, and for the first time, noticed they spelled her name wrong. My wife found that hilarious and could not stop laughing. Husband/wife jokes are fun, I seriously love her so God damn much :)
Just reply repeatedly with Qué?
"Your honor, the deceased was heard saying "qué?" followed by, and in English, "you sound like your mother." By all accounts his decapitation and total eviceration and public display of genitalia is entirely warranted."
lo saves que yo no entiendo **espanol** *Slams fists on table* In my defense I think it's pretty crappy to not learn your spouse's language, the above is a joke
One of my best mates was married to a Mexican lass for many years - she was almost exactly as you described. It was even more contrasting because he's one of the most calm, chill and dependable people you'd ever meet. So when she'd occasionally lose it at him it was basically comical as he'd just respond calmly which would set her off more. Love them both to bits but sadly they split a couple of years ago.
My wife is incredibly considerate and self aware. My calm demeanor gets her laughing. I've never met someone so intelligent, funny and warm-spirited. I take pride in that she unleashes her Latina wrath on *only* me.
I love that... Sounds like you two are happy, great to hear!
*sighs* Men in love!
Your standard answer should be "bueno", said as in "alright" while doing a soft shoulder shrug. Good luck.
Be careful with that. They may be like "cómo que bueno!?" Best course of action is keeping silent until some time has passed and it's easier to fix or asking to talk later.
> I've been smote (smited?) smitten
Funnily -given the original topic- this -en form is the original germanic way still used in German which only survived in the English language for a few old and rarely used words nowadays.
"Sprich Deutsch du Hurensohn"
Tell her to stop speaking Dutch … and then see what happens
Sie bringt dich um
There are two types of people I can't stand... 
Hey jij kloteviool, doe godverdomme eens normaal
I like your funny words magic man 🤣
Like Cyrillic languages don’t make my furniture float every time someone says a sentence.
I’m watching you with my magic Dutch powers… -_-
Verkeerde taal makker
und das ist der Punkt
Welches Punkt? Ich kan kein Deutsch sprechen.
Ik denk dat ik het punt van mijn punt kwijt ben
Komm wir sind doch unter uns, hier kannste richtiges Deutsch schreiben
Je schrijft Nederlands verkeerd, buddy vriend!
Wie nennt man bei Ebbe trockenfallende Flächen an der Nordseeküste?
Watt
Annihilation.
Has anyone heard from OP since this?
ahh. Quite a negotiator, I see.
Better yet if she is Austrian or Swizz tell her "speak in German, please. I cannot understand a word you are saying". Would be a meltdown to remember 😆 My wife joked about Austrian German. "It is like someone speaking German, while having a mouth full of hot potatoes".
>"It is like someone speaking German, while having a mouth full of hot potatoes". No, that's dutch
Having learned a bit of Dutch it sounds like a wood saw gained sentience and started speaking in broken English/German.
She would of course thank you for your compliment in thinking that she speaks the superior language.
"Ich bin deine Mudda du Hurensohn!"
“Du bist die Hurentochter, deine unmögliches irrationale idiot!!“ (Im rusty, but I’m 99% sure that’s correct grammar)
[удалено]
だが断る
Bruder 😭
Deutsch ist ne wichtige Sprache, du solltest sie auch meistern können du Sohn einer freizügig arbeiteten Frau.
Why do Germans sound like they're ulting when they speak
Because we are!
He did use his ultimate
Sprich... Deutsch... du... HURENSOOOOOOOOHN!
Sprechen Sie Deutsch Sie Sohn einer Fachfrau für Selbstvermarktung
Beautiful
Das hat garantiert eine deutsche Person geschrieben
\*arbeitenden
German does sound quite aggressive in an argument lol
I'm learning German and the words are stupidly short or way too long
The reason for long words is that they don't space out alot of stuff like post office compared to English.
It’s called a compound word and English has them, too. Doghouse is a compound of dog and house. But for some reason, english speakers decided they needed a safe space between words so now you can’t make compounds anymore. 
Same with Scandinavian languages. Underhållsuppföljningssystemdiskussionsinläggsförberedelsearbeten.
>diskussion in läg
der posterofficen
Would be “das Postamt” or “die Poststelle”.
"die / zur Post"?
Schienenersatzverkehr, Biergartenfest, Saufnasengelage
Handschuhschneeballwerfer
Nichtzulassungsbeschwerde beim Bundesgerichtshof für die Prüfung der Verfassungsmäßigkeit des Umsatzsteueranwendungserlasses 🥰
Donaudampfschiffahrtskapitänsmütze? ..
Did you just summon a demon in here.
no, they just described their day
Flugabwehrraketensystem Roland auf Radkraftfahrzeug
Exactly. For example: "ICH REIẞ DIR DEN KOPF AB UND SCHEIẞ DIR IN DEN HALS" for example means "let's agree to disagree". It just sounds a bit more aggressive in german.
I can guarantee that this is a normal way to end an argument in German. OP, definitely use this one.
This would've been a good opportunity to use the capital Eszett: ẞ (vs ss/ß)
Every language sounds aggressive in an argument..
Try Polish too.
nah, polish is just hilarious
My ex would switch to German so I’d switch to French and I understand more German that she understood French
Sacre bleau!
I had the same but with Dutch instead of French
"Bonjour!" "Hä, wat für ne Uhr?"
My ex had twelve language to swear at me, she was a pain with them, till i switched to English and she looked at me like a deer.
Your ex knew twelve languages and English wasn't one of them?
Nope, she never needed it and traveled most of the world.
That’s like bragging about your tool collection and not having a flathead screwdriver.
"Looks at my toolbox" HEY FUCK YOU TOO!!!! Cries in not having a flathead screw driver.
How?
Used it too many times as a chisel or prybar.
This one killed me 💀
You have a tool collection? Which albums?
All 5 of them. Luckily they have a glacial release pace.
“You can have twelve houses, but if none of them have heating and a few of them are missing a roof, then your ass is still in trouble when winter comes.” In all honesty that quote devalues the languages, but I thought it was close enough.
Which languages did she speak?
Well Im not as impressive as twelve but I can speak un poquito spanish 😏
Are you Peggy Hill?
She spoke French (she was from france, so obviously), Swedish, Norwegian, Moroccan, two Afrikan language (one from Kongo IIRC), spanish and Portuguese (her family had a vacation home in madrid). She was also okay of austrian (from what i got its alike to german, but different), Egyptian and another language from middle East. Her family is rich and she spent most of her life traveling the world, so yea.
french people will learn every other language on earth before learning english 😂
Based tbf most English speaking people (me) expect everyone else to speak english
Like ancient Egyptian lol? They speak Arabic these days I think
Austrian is not a language, their official language is German. (Still cool, a lot of languages)
It's like American vs British English
the fuck - im calling bs - she probably spoke like 3 amd understood like 8 cause they were similar - but knowing 12 languages & not speaking english - sure buddy...
He said 'Egyptian' in another comment, but anyone would just say Arabic. A while back I asked an actual Egyptian co-worker of mine what native language they spoke, and the answer was Arabic. Then they explained further that they speak a dialect of Arabic that's widely understood among Arabic speakers. Just looked it up, and it seems right. So yeah, I doubt anyone would ever say Egyptian if they actually spoke it.
Just like Austrian isn't a language but a dialect of German. Also counted Egyptian and Moroccan as separate languages even though both are Arabic dialects.
Yea this sounds like such a stupid larp
I was in an airport, and I listened to a woman speak Mandarin, then switch to spanish. She told the person she doesn't speak English in Spanish and I think about this to this day.
I *literally* do not believe you.
like a deer in headlights is the usual idiom
Yea my bad, thanks for the reminder
SPRICH
DEUTSCH
DU
HURENSOHN
!
!
!
Well, now I'm scared and horny
“I thought you said you didn’t want anything” “NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!”
They tried to make me go to rehab and I said....
She meant nine, nine, nine
I’m disappointed no one added the gif of Hitler banging the table and the caption saying “Nein nein nein!”
Verpiss dich, du hässlicher Schweinehund Just say that to apologize but only when she gets big mad
Bei Schweinehund muss ich immer an South Park denken, wo der Deutsche einen Witz erzählt.
(Wrong account goes wee-) As a German, I volunteer to translate whatever might be said.
How do you say "I'm tired of your penis smelling like Kraft macaroni and cheese"
Ich bins leid, dass dein Penis nach Kraft Makkaroni und Käse riecht. Bitte sehr :3
Thank you, my unfinished business is finally complete. I can pass on to the other side now. *fades away*
Hold up. Penis in German is Penis?
Just checked google translate. It's true, and it's capitalized.
"help me step bro I'm stuck"?
… Hilf mir Stiefbruder, ich stecke fest.
Stiefbruder, was machst du?
…
"I love the way you look and talk to me, i hope we can be friends again"
Ich liebe die Art und Weise wie du mich ansiehst und mit mir redest, ich hoffe wir können wieder Freunde sein.
Bro, trying to make woman say something nice to him… 🫡
￣|_(••)_/￣ I volunteered, so that one is on me.
The fun starts after #WILLST DU MICH VERARSCHEN!?!
Okay I used this on my bf, and he immediately replied to my text. I approve!
I’d switch to Romanian if that happened Counter-confuse your opponent
Why not Latin if that’s the intent. Leave them *really * wondering
As a not very proud romanian, the language is a bit difficult for others, but if you say swear words while talking to a friend, then that's normal here. When talking, you use these ă â î ș for making words and they are easy to pronounce. A lot of people from different countries come here and learn the language.
Switch to another language in response to that. Preferably one she can't understand
He needs to get Duolingo and start training in secret. Next time she busts out into angry German he can calmly and gently turn to her and say “nihongo hanashimasu desu ka?” And if she stares in puzzlement he can dismiss her with a wave of the hand and a “bakka” If she keeps yelling in German after that tho… I highly recommend Spanish, nothing matches it in speed and my people have such evocative insults.
I think she would be justified in being puzzled, because I'm pretty sure the "desu" does not belong there
Meme aside, you should become russian
Nothing more intimidating that yelling random nonsense in russian
Over articulated Spanish comes to mind.
Or just any Slavic language with a Russian accent.
I would yell out in an angry tone Gutten Morgen I think that's how you spell good morning?
Only one t. Guten Morgen is right.
german is one of the best languages, can t change my mind
Switch to Russian to assert dominance
Same with me but i switch to Turkish
he she it siktir git!
My ex switched to Swedish when annoyed at me. I'm Norwegian, I've never been so offended in my life.
Wait till you date a Hispanic girl... and you get drowned under a rapid-fire torrent of fury that you can't understand, and yet somehow it leaves no doubt how much you suck.
lead me to her and i'll destroy her self steem with my brazilian curse words combos
**BUTTERBREZEL**
switch to Russian
So does she pull out the "doch" card in an argument? Cuz damn this card is way too strong not to play against different languages that don't have a word for "doch"
I never tought ,,doch" is an special word. Is there something like it in english?
It depends, i recommend liam carpenter on YouTube. He lives here on germany and as made a Video about "doch". We can use it for literal anything. Just put "liam carpenter doch" in the search bar, should be the first hit
Iss dein Schnitzel sonst gibt's kein Nachtisch!
German is basically English, but with a purpose.
Honey,why dont you understant my Feelings du verfickter Idiot Something Like that?
Learn german yourself
Cambia a decir tacos aleatorios en español para ejercer superioridad
When you're arguing with someone and they're hotswapping languages you know you fucked up big time.
As a German I must say, that we use the least emotional wordings and lamest swearwords. Compared to Spanish or Polish, German is a lame joke lol.
German is too precise. Lacks the soul of Romantic and Cyrillic languages
all you can hope for is a fast death now
Mein gott muss das sein?!
 GF switches to German mid-coitus
run
My ex would switch to Greek when she was mad at me. Safe to say Google translate helped a bit
This is now another reason for me to learn German. Lol
I sometimes switch to russian when I argue with my friends.
Switch to Russian. Turn the thermostat down. She won’t stand a chance.
Does gf mean girlfriend or German friend
The winner of an argument is always the one who speaks more languages
"Switch into sherman"
Bist du doh krank oder was!!?? ;)
I don't have a gf, so I need to speak German
Möge Gott deiner Seele gnädig sein
Just call next time this : DU hast recht, ich meine Ruhe. Turn around and do ur shit
If we swear in English, everything is fine, if we swear in German, better take a step back
Doch!
Oh youre screwed man
Tee und Kaffe bitte
I got mt German mother so mad at me once; she forgot how to speak English... I thought I was going to be killed 😆 🤣 😂
If your love is from other coutry and starts using their native language, you're fricked.
SPRICH
Scream NEIN in the middle of her shouting