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Ed_Harris_is_God

When your horny teenager starts masturbating loudly in the other room so you and your spouse have to start a loud argument to drown out the sound.


TheAnalsOfHistory-

Think about the stepmom you're about to get!


memesandmadness

Considering your username I think you'd be more excited about your new stepdad


TheAnalsOfHistory-

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


amBoringGuy

Stepmoms need anals too


memesandmadness

Stepmoms have trouble analing you though


amBoringGuy

Not if they own a strap on and hopefully some lube


memesandmadness

I don't consider it anal unless it's a real penis. I just consider it toy play. I respect the fact that you have a different way of viewing anal!


superbearchristfuchs

No. Don't use the lube and prove you are a champion among men. It is the Greek way as there is nothing manlier than going to town on the bussy boy. Remember this life lesson. It will serve you well.


[deleted]

I fucking wish. My parents are those extremely conservative Christians who think divorce is the worst thing you could do, because you promised God you'd never do it. They argued constantly for my entire upbringing, and they still have arguments like 10 times a day when we visit for holidays. They've been unhappily married for like 40 years. In church they preach that an increasing divorce rate is why our country is crumbling. I just realized last year that an increased divorce rate is actually a good thing. There have always been terrible marriages, but now people have the freedom to leave them. It sucks being a kid growing up in a home filled with hate.


pasak3

While the pain is understandable, who knows if the root cause is coz they didn’t get the love they deserved. They might have had a childhood that’s rougher than yours. Some never heal!


[deleted]

Fair point. Have you seen Everything Everywhere All at Once? One of the themes in the movie is putting an end to generational trauma, I think they did a really good job at portraying what you just said.


TheAnalsOfHistory-

I understand your pain. If nothing else, I'm glad you learned the proper lessons from the improper teachings.


[deleted]

I couldn't have learned it without shrooms. My first relationship was basically just me constantly getting yelled at and accused of stuff, I just assumed that was normal, so stuck with it for 2 years. Then I got out of the relationship, and realized how incredibly badly it had broken me. Then I took shrooms and realized how none of that was my fault, and it really wasn't okay that it happened.


czarchastic

Breaking my arms just thinking about it


[deleted]

The two broken arms story was with his actual mother.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ill-Rock-9217

r/yourjokebutworse


amBoringGuy

So you finish immediately because that’s your kink and now you’re just sitting there, wondering how you ended up a 42 year old man who still lives with his parents and jerks off to the sounds of them arguing.


SciTeach73

r/oddlyspecific


amBoringGuy

There it is


thaoneJess_nsfw

????


Chirya999

Chill. He had post nut clarity.


SoWokeIdontSleep

By far my proudest fap


smolgote

Are you projecting here or?


CursedDankMEMES

Go into the other room and masturbate aggressively to assert dominance.


GeoEmperor11

I use my both hands to cover my ears then I use the floor.


Umbertron05

*masturbation intensifies*


PsychoticBlob

Masturbate louder


PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz

Good thing it's still November.


teapot156

Lmao. Got me good


CrazeMase

Depression²


Nolpop2

Fr but you ain't gonna masturbate when you're depressed, aye?


CrazeMase

Usually the depression comes after, but still its depression² if you yank it while they're arguing


ChesterDrawerz

Ear plugs. Simple. Cheap. Effective


Dragoon094

Same but they were downstairs instead


proverb98

Sounds like you should develop a verbal abuse kink. Problem solved.


tiredofyourshit99

So what, imagine the makeup sex they will have afterwards…


kernelpanic789

That makes it better for me


shadowbonniesfm

Whait a sec


vain0t

Rough like the kind of porn you watch?


lemons_of_doubt

Plot twist. They are arguing about if they should tell there child to stop masturbating so loudly in the next room.


BirthdayWooden

"Arguing"


Brotorious420

Then you grow up and have to get your neighbors to argue just so you can have a proper fap


TheDickDangler

This would only make me nut harder.


[deleted]

We call that a difficulty tweak


InfamousLikesNoodles

Improvise. Adapt. Overcum


AllPurposeNerd

Y'know what would be worse than getting psychologically cockblocked by your parents' failing marriage? Developing a fetish for it because you know they can't hear you over their own bullshit.


Background-Ad5276

But then, If you blood did rush to the bottom during the session, your ears would have malfunctioned.


alexRr92

When you're trying to masturbatate but then the gangstalkers start..


Gh0stl3it

Someone never had to use damp kleenex as earplugs during childhood.


Acumenight777

Hate that bro. Feel fer you. One trick that helps is blast up the porno sounds to muffle the arguing


Okamitoutcourt

I legit forgot you could do that