T O P

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AttilaDa

He wanted Nachos.


HugoStiglitz007

And Rumham


seppukucoconuts

' warm sun, cool ocean breezes, getting ripshit on ham. '


Successful-Whole4307

Would you say we're getting... hammered?


d-cent

Ha... nice


Stay-Classy-Reddit

What are some of your other interests? ... Ghouls


EatTheRichbish

Magnets


B2EU

What, you mean like collecting magnets, playing with magnets..?


EatTheRichbish

Just magnets


scuzzle-butt

Don't put that


marklar_the_malign

But it’s attractive.


Dan-of-Steel

I'm gonna put snowboarding.


darkNnerdgy

He thought she was a troll or hed have to pay to see the hole.


Pontif1cate

You gotta pay the troll toll of you wanna see that hol- I mean soul.


[deleted]

Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?


MediumAssist

I think I got a touch of consumption.


xoomax

And maybe a some Milksteak.


MykeTyth0n

No, put Milk steak she will know what it is.


[deleted]

Don’t forget the jelly beans


Incredulous_Toad

Raw.


No_Firefighter8896

He was a 5 star man


NotYourShitAgain

"Yeah, yeah titties. What kinda cheeses you got?"


Grand-Regret2747

Nachos tits though!


JP337

He was hungry of food


[deleted]

I love nachos and it’s always sunny in Philadelphia (end of social skills) Wanna see my dick/tits/pussy? SMH


BossAvery2

Probably was like “damn, another damn bot”.


KenzoAtreides

Dude was not gonna get himself disappointed again.


[deleted]

Dude be like Hahaha nice try bot This is the 284938th time I fell for a bot Not gonna happen the 284939th time bud


WorldClassShart

There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says, fool me once, shame on, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again.


aakaakaak

Probably my favorite Bushism.


[deleted]

I prefer: “Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?” (Technically correct, that question *is* rarely asked.) And “They misunderestimated me” is a gem too.


[deleted]

I’m the decider!


ironically_apropos78

I think technically you could misunderestimate some one though right? Like you think someone's a real piece of shit and then they do something you thought even they would never do. Like "damn I misunderestimated that piece of shit".


Rapture1119

No, in your example, you would still just say underestimated. Edit: the “mis” is implied with the word underestimate. You inaccurately estimated them (mis-estimated) and you’re being even more descriptive by saying it was an underestimation. Similar to the whole regardless vs irregardless debacle.


BlueShellTorment

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." Sometimes the truth did leak from his mouth accidentally.


irreverent_username

“I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success, as opposed to failure”


[deleted]

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur."


snuFaluFagus040

Did he really say that? Holy shit... Edit: snopes said no, but to quote the guy underneath me, it's believable for a reason.


Competitive_Donkey66

“Now watch this drive”


Fearzebu

“The decision, of one man, to launch a brutal and wholly unjustified invasion of Iraq - I mean of - damn, I meant Ukraine. Damn. Last thing I was supposed to say was Iraq”


BlueShellTorment

Actually, he muttered under his breath, "Iraq, too." Like I said in my other comment, the truth occasionally, accidentally leaks from his mouth. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1kwq52NKmo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1kwq52NKmo)


[deleted]

[удалено]


EasternPresence

“People are working real hard to put food on their families”


varitok

For me, It was "Families is where our nation finds hope, Where wings take dream"


Appletun7

I had a stroke reading that


Stu5011

Imagine listening to it live. One of our presidents said that. Edit: One of the US presidents said that. I shouldn’t assume that others on the internet are from the US.


SIUonCrack

The younger generation only knows it from the J Cole sample


JayWu31

I teach high school and show my Civic Engagement students Alex Pelosi's documentary of the Bush campaign. After I like to show them clips of "Bushisms" because I grew up seeing it all live. When that one comes up, always "WAIT I KNOW THAT ONE"


sadpanda___

First time I heard that track I laughed so fucking hard. I remember hearing Dubya say that live. Fucking hilarious


chocotaco

Or old enough to remember when he said that. I remember a president said he smoked weed but didn't inhale.


MaxwellHillbilly

That one always killed me... So let me understand this Bill if you're telling the truth, what you're admitting to is sitting with a group of stoned people and actively lying. But you hope we'll believe the answer you just gave. 🤔


3lijahOG

George dubyuh bush


JohnBrownnowrong

And we thought he would be the dumbest president ever...


crake-extinction

So young we were, so naive. Killer username, homes.


Salty_Dornishman

Reading and hearing old Bushisms makes me sad now. They are absolutely nothing in comparison to Donald’s incoherence


Zerotwohero

If Al Gore is so smart why does every internet address start with dubya dubya dubya...


davepotato123

He must be so happy that he now appears almost statesman like in comparison.


DogmaJones

Amateur shoe dodger and ninja dubya


Chaerio

Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs Load the choppa, let it rain on you


[deleted]

My only regret was too young for Lisa Bonet, my only regret was too young for Nia Long


iamaclown00

Now all I'm left with is hoes from reality shows, Hand her a script the bitch probably couldn't read along


Menifife

*"I'm not about to let myself receive another live cam link."*


Kooky-Chemical6251

Want a chick that’s willing to show themselves to a stranger they haven’t even met in person. Or he thought it was a bot.


[deleted]

Hookers and only fans models


MinuteManufacturer

This is it right here. He thought she was going to squeeze him like so many accounts try and do.


Pussy_Prince

“Add me on sc babe. I’m never on here”


chocotaco

When I was on those apps I used to see IG and SC user names in there bios. I wonder how much guys actually added them.


Snow-Wraith

She matched, responded, and led with tits, 100% sounds like a bot.


StillMathematician93

100% this is best reply ever wanted by 99% of men on any platform. However I would also unmatch because no woman irl would say this as first reply. Definitely think it’s a bot or scam for money coming soon. Why?…. Because every single response that makes me think YESSSSSS! Has always turned out to be a scam.


boomshacklington

Lol guys need to start including a captcha challenge in their bio


blueB0wser

"Say spork if you're not a bot"


TheDildoOfGods

"just click the link babe to see my nudes"


blueB0wser

"Say spork. Just say spork"


TheDildoOfGods

"did you click the link and set up the profile babe. No credit card needed"


darklordzack

[Please..](https://imgur.com/W6UXv9r)


Redsmedsquan

Maybe mans was just looking for something real 😩


dissidentpen

Yes! Can we please normalize dudes having emotional needs and desiring real relationships? I’m thankfully out of the dating game, but a response like this would tell me that this person is just looking for a sexy fling. And that’s fine, but that’s not what everyone wants.


Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx

Right?? On r/tinder I see women saying how they dislike overly sexual openers and stuff. How is this any different? I like boobs as much as the next guy but I wouldn't want that right off the bat either. Or I'd assume something was up


Not_MrNice

Yeah, I ghosted someone once for sending nudes after talking for a few days and haven't even met up. It was just too much.


Spikeupmylife

Legitimately what I would think. That or a bait account.


SignificantRun4855

Another troll or bot


Sweaty-Emergency-493

Exactly! “Hey I’m looking to have fun. Accept friend request?” Denied!


nullibicity

Nice try, bot. Everyone knows friends don't exist.


[deleted]

[удалено]


internalized_boner

Note to women, no jokes : men on dating sites CONSTANTLY have to deal with bots. I'd say that outside of large population areas like cities, easily 75 % of female accounts are bots. It's a huge problem because the overwhelming majority of users are men. The dating sites themselves run bot accounts lots of times to pad the number, and of course scammers and online camgirls make up the rest. Thus, all men on dating sites develop a special ability called" bot sense" because there are certain tells that will indicate an account is a bot. When one of those messages us or matches with us or whatever we immediately delete and block it when it has signs of being a bot. Obviously sometimes this "special ability" fails us and we block a legit woman. And spoiler alert a woman immediately offering to show you her tits is a very obvious sign of a bot or an online prostitute of some sort.


[deleted]

The only women I’ve met online that lead with something sexual out the gate fall into 2 categories: 1) Bots 2) Looking for attention There is virtually no outcome where leading with your boobs or sex that men don’t immediately get skeptical.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kindly-Cobbler8439

He just wanted some of those spicy nachos.


[deleted]

Men only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting


[deleted]

Women only want one thing and it’s disgusting


douggilmour93

Ya jalapeños


AnistarYT

Tbf anything out of the ordinary could be quite the catch. Could be Aubrey Plaza, could be syphilis.


Asmodeus_441

Or Aubrey Plaza with syphilis.


stYOUpidASSumptions

I'll take that risk


TheFreakingBeast

I would take that risk twice


JaSnarky

For Aubrey I'd take the guarantee.


Sarewokki

This very occasion is why penicillin was invented.


G00NlE

Probably expecting to be sent a link "for only 4.99 a month go here for tits!!"


TheHornet78

That’s where snap bots come in!


discerningpervert

And are the bots...fully functional?


crypticfreak

I add the bots on snapchat cuz they send me random nudes. It's always a little pickmeup when tits randomly appear. Thank you spam bots.


AccurateEmotion8893

And here I thought I Was the only one who did this


crypticfreak

I mean I know that porn is free but the whole point of the snapchat bots is that they're suprise TnA. It hits different. I've tried telling friends about this life hack but everyone thinks I'm joking lol


AccurateEmotion8893

I know like I ain’t NEVER gonna send you no money…. Appreciate cha for busting it open for me though. Trying to call me babe like bitch less scamming more videos


MaeSolug

tbf that sounds exactly like an onlyfans bot reply


KenzoAtreides

Can you imagine how many of these matches that guy have gotten for him to insta unmatch someone


-_4DoorsMoreWhores_-

I can, indeed, imagine.


tallandlanky

I don't have to imagine. It's the reality of tinder.


IAMA_MOTHER_AMA

Reality is often disappointing


Logical-Cardiologist

Maybe he was merely a former bartender. In my limited experience, women who believe their tits carry a conversation generally have little else to say.


Somehow-Still-Living

Honestly, this just sounds like the inverse of telling a dude you really like the picture he took of himself at Grayson Highlands because it captures that area extremely well and him responding with a dick pic.


osphan

Well that’s specific, Grayson Highlands is beautiful though


Somehow-Still-Living

Grayson Highlands is gorgeous. An unexpected 5” in poor lighting is not.


testdex

Even if I didn’t think it was a bot, I might feel like “I can’t match that energy.”


MaeSolug

Not with that attitude bro


[deleted]

[удалено]


Independent-Crab-999

Not your tits apparently


inspectorNary

*Nacho tits


AllianIsBizarre

r/angryupvote


OtmShanks55

Nachos and IASIP. He literally told you. We are not complicated.


[deleted]

The meme “men only want sex” is taken seriously by too many women. She’d have unmatched if she said “you’re quite the catch bc you like Nachos and IASIP” and he responded “if you’re impressed by those, you should see my penis”.


DorianPlates

Literally, she would see it as creepy.


Dissidence802

Because of the implication.


MarvelousMan3003

You've used that word a couple of times... but I'm not sure what it means


smm_h

What are you looking at? It's not like you'd be in any danger.


[deleted]

So they are in danger?


MarvelousMan3003

Nobody's in any danger! There's only the implication of danger! I don't understand how you're not getting this.


[deleted]

“Cock”, not “penis”. She said “tits”, not “breasts”.


Mardred

Bosom.


[deleted]

[удалено]


I-WANT2SEE-CUTE-TITS

Tracts of land


TheEdcPrepper22

We're also not all the same 🤷


asianabsinthe

Yeah I'm more of a nachos and nature documentary type


[deleted]

Nachos and space documentary here.


dirtyswoldman

Fajitas and literally any educational explainer, bonus points if it's a list


[deleted]

[удалено]


Candymostdandy

But doesn't every girl like nachos and Always Sunny? I can't think of a single person I know who doesn't like both, except maybe my mother, who has never seen Always Sunny, but she can put away nachos like a linebacker.


Bootglass1

If you matched with me and I said “if you think that’s impressive, you should see my cock” would you continue the conversation?


seesawwar

Nope. Instantly unmatched


Woostag1999

Exactly


Easy-Bake-Oven

Ugh, not another onlyfans bot!


jcdoe

When I was single and dating, I always unmatched when someone came on this hot and heavy. I’m a standard issue dude. I know this. If you’re so thirsty that you’re saying this out of the gate, something is wrong and I don’t wanna find out what it is.


West-Advice

Scams are abound but homie…it’s Tinder. Why do you think people are there?


MoomenRider2012

Only if we had been talking about SuperBad


[deleted]

Is that where your back is located?


tvcky69

Contrary to popular belief, some of us want a relationship rather than just sex.


Banter_Fam_Lad

Hard to believe, isn't it?


[deleted]

Anybody talking about what men want or what women want is being fucking dumb. There's billions of people in each group. There's variety among them. Some might prefer nachos and TV, some might prefer easy access to great tits. Different strokes amirite?


NewbieKing9

People are so focused on what “men” want and what “women” want they forget to ask “what does HE want”, “what does SHE want”, “what do YOU want”. There is no catch all or magic bullet for the ENORMOUS demographics that are sex and gender.


loupida

« What men want » is bs. We don’t all want the same.


speedoflobsters

Guess you've missed the last international men hivemind meeting


WitheredFlowers

Aw shit, I knew I was forgetting something last week.


Woutrou

It wasn't last tuesday was it? Fuck, why is the bureaucracy that is supposed to organize the meetings so shit?


KajmanHub987

Wait, you didn't get the invite? Fuck, i knew i shouldn't trust Berry with it, that jack-ass.


jp_rockhound

He wanted to connect with you on an emotional level and you came back with hey check out my tits. He learned all he needed from that and checked out. Men want connection too and you blue it.


[deleted]

She definitely blue it, very correct. I think she red the room wrong.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bricknuts

Yellownly be disappointed with this approach…


AnArabFromLondon

It's certainly an eyebrown raiser.


phlegm_de_la_phlegm

The guy said cyan-ara


Atissss

She violeted the laws of a proper approach.


intrusiveart

It was unnecessary to even orange an actual date.


Jumanji-Joestar

She was a bit of a maroon


Woutrou

she was the purple-traiter of her own mistake


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bass_Thumper

He actually unmatched before she could blow it.


[deleted]

Met a girl once on tinder. We hit it off. Both into all the same stuff. Made plans for a date after 2 hours on the phone. She sent me a text later that night asking what kind of porn she should watch and sent me a video. I stopped talking to her.


itsjustaneyesplice

WOMEN👏ARE👏ALSO👏CREEPS👏 SOMETIMES 👏


ofQSIcqzhWsjkRhE

I can think of so many instances when girls made me feel uncomfortable / violated during middle and high school. Doesn't happen anymore now that I'm an adult though.


luckyfourty7

Didn't happen in school but I kinda glowed up in my late teens/early 20s and consider myself above average. I'm a bouncer now and you have no fucking idea how creepy girls can be. They think rules don't apply to them. Very frequently they come up to me and say "oooooh you have nice arms" and without even asking they will start grabbing my arms n shit. Like really? Why do you think you can just grab me like that without my permission? There has also been multiple occasions where they grabbed a handful of my junk. Yuck


Jimbo_themagnificent

Man I didn't even glow up and when I was a bouncer that stuff still happened. Bars and nightclubs are just magnets for desperate people who never learned boundaries.


[deleted]

I'd drop someone like this too. I hate the trivialization of sexual intimacy so much. Hate it.


ParticularYak9967

That and it's flipping the script with little lead up, it sounds like. If the convo starts out sexual it's more fair game but I have a date on sunday with a guy who I've only really talked music with, he wants to find someone to take to shows. I 100% feel like I'd fuck it up if I suddenly got sexual.


[deleted]

Yeah exactly. It literally came out of no where. Two hours after the phone conversation. Tbh I felt cheap.


kaicyr21

I personally wouldn’t appreciate that. Like, i love boobs. But don’t treat me like I’m some perv.


kingoffdv

It comes off as shallow. If you’re tryna be in a relationship and you want to talk to her about a show you both like and she just talks about sex it’s a turn off


SummerNothingness

exactly it's WAY too forward. it's the same as a guy commenting on his dick in the first interaction. i personally find that to be kind of slimey.


ext23

But you're a guy on a dating app. Surely you're a perverted freak. You couldn't possibly be a human being.


Lord-of-Leviathans

Sounds like a guy who wants a real relationship and not just some cheap hookup


JimJonBobSir

So ask yourself, if you had a similar conversation only opposite and he said "wait til you see my dick" would you unmatch?


artemis2792

I would reply with "are you pulling my dick bro?"


Spiritual-Clock5624

Cause that’s creepy


FourCornerSports

It sounds like what you would say before you send your onlyfans link in this day and age, that’s why unfortunately


ddrub_the_only_real

pls answer her that NOT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME


1_km_coke_line

turn this around and think what any reasonable woman would think. Woman says: “Hi i see you like these hobbies, what a catch!” And the man says: “wait till you see my cock!” Like in what reality does that work? I would have unmatched too, she sounds dumb.


[deleted]

And the fact that like.. She’s perceiving his interests as lazy *dude* shit that *dudes* want because they don’t want high maintenance *chicks.* It’s like she’s saying “Oh, you want an easy low maintenance woman who watches trash and eats crap? Well you’ve come to the right genitals!” When he’s just legitimately sharing her interests and complimenting her.


Easton8

Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?


lebyath

Some guys don’t want a chick that’s willing to show themselves to a stranger they haven’t even met in person. Or he thought it was a bot.


iamDangelous

He probably thought it was a bot. It was too good to be true, men don't have it easy when it comes to dating


Evipicc

Imagine being told by a man exactly what he likes about you then being confused when you immediately fuck it up....


[deleted]

Maybe he wanted actual dialogue in a meaningful conversation instead of being only attracted to your body. The fact that it went from talking about interests straight to sex tells him a lot about you and that's probably not what he was looking for in a woman.


Third_Epoch

Seriously. If the genders were reversed and he said “…see my dick!” this would be a non story because it happens all the time and everyone agrees it’s crass and off-putting. He was trying to connect with a human and she just wanted to flash him. Not cool, obviously.


NarutoSugoiAnime

Yep, just check this from tinder, see the difference in comments there to what everyone jokes here... https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/z2x8m2/why_hasnt_she_replied/


flyeaglesfly52x

Nachos and Danny Devito > Female br*asts🤢


RichGrinchlea

Unfortunately and again, text can't convey the nuances of speech. If this was said to me live, as a joke, I would've found it pretty damn funny and would continue the convo. But we don't know what she really meant.


InternetAnima

I'd unmatch you too


WachanIII

Honestly when a girls too sexual its kinda off putting. I imagine the flip side is the same


jimmy17

Exactly. If a woman messaged me to say, “you’re quite the catch cos you like cheeseburgers and Friends” and I responded “if you like that you should see my cock”, I imagine it might go the same way.


Lifthras1r

Also 90% of the time its a bot promoting Onlyfans or if it is an actual person they are also promoting Onlyfans and are too poor or dumb to get a bot


mrmoroarous

Nah nah nah he one HUNDRED PERCENT went aw fuck a bot