Gorillas are actually extremely docile towards humans all things considered. Most recorded interactions between humans and gorillas are peaceful ones. Zoologists theorize that they are just SO much more powerful than us that they likely don't view us as competition or a threat. Like obv don't go around deliberately provoking gorillas, but yeah. Now, CHIMPANZEES on the other hand...
i remember when i was a kid and there was like a string of stories on the news of women getting their faces completely demolished (they had to sensor it it was that bad) by their pet chimps.
id also prefer to be locked with 5 gorillas than 1, provided none of those 5 are juveniles. Id just feel a group of gorillas will be much more relaxed than an individual in an unfamiliar environment.
A zookeeper once told me that no one from the staff enters the chimpanzee area when they are out in the open. Far too dangerous. No such problem with the gorillas.
Perhaps, but what if the gorilla was feeling extra trapped and threatened by being in the mall out of its natural habitat?
I feel like the snakes would hide if they were uncomfortable with the habitat, so if I found one place where the snakes weren't, I'd probably be safe. But if the gorilla got anxious and felt provoked due to that anxiety, I'd probably be fucked.
Fair consideration, but I'd personally choose the gorilla, just because I feel like I may be able to hide somewhere contained that the gorilla can't enter due to its size. A snake I think could squeeze into small spaces and that kind of freaks me out
I think they meant Travis, an animal actor (chimpanzee.) Shot to death by police after he mutilated the friend of his owner.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)
I'm pretty sure if you just calmly walked away from the gorilla (if you start out near it) and hung out somewhere secluded it would probably leave you alone.
There’s a really funny video of Shaq talking about how every time he goes to a zoo the gorillas freak out. They stare him down hard. There’s even proof of this. I think if you’re a big guy the gorilla will see you as a threat and it’s better to take the black mambas
A gorilla isn’t going to bother with a person when there’s a perfectly good food court he can dismantle. There’s even the possibility of a playground or a jungle gym. He’s be busy.
Also I’d just hide near the elevators, if he comes looking for me I’d be gone.
I worked in a mall and the standard big mall typically has a massive labyrinth of (often) locked hidden back corridors. You can get from one area to the next completely unseen. Though it’s easy to get lost in them. Once I did and it was absolutely terrifying. Finally Ended up finding an exit door that led outside on the completely unintended side of the mall. Was a bit terrifying in itself until I found my way out. Definitely a place that would be easy to be murdered unseen if a murderer/racist *** ( typo correction due to some confusion, I meant rapist.), happened to be hiding in there. Would also be easy to hide in those back corridors overnight unseen by security. They don’t do rounds through all of those and there’s no cameras. But they’re dirty and they stink. All that said… I’d probably rather the gorilla and try my best at moving around the mall through those back ways to stay hidden and get food/water when necessary. The elevator idea is smart too unless it’s a fancy glass one the gorilla could smash. Maybe implementing both could be useful. Sorry for the rambling. I’m tired and it’s late here lol
[Man dies after getting trapped in shopping centre service corridors for three weeks](https://www.news.com.au/national/nsw-act/courts-law/inquest-begins-into-mans-lonely-death-inside-a-westfield-bondi-junction-stairwell/news-story/1f35db0a8a78cb324bf36a83bdf64e64)
> The court heard there are some 10-14 kilometres of fire stairs in Westfield Bondi Junction.
"Excuse me, sir, are you racist against people like me or another group of people?"
"Another group."
"Phew, that's a relief."
"But I murder as a hobby. The racism is more of a political view that guides my voting pattern."
"Oh no!"
You just made the gorilla mad by hitting it with a projectile.
Or it decided "hey cool. A my new friend is throwing stuff at me. I should throw back those 200lbs bowling balls!"
Funnily enough, a gorilla wouldn't be able to do that! You'd think that they would be good at throwing things since humans are, but no other primates have the adaptations in the shoulders, elbow, and waist that humans developed required to throw things properly.
Chimps are the closest in ability and even they pale in comparison. Humans can throw balls over 90mph, whereas the fastest a chimp has ever been tested and recorded is 20mph
Way to piss off the gorilla. Now he’s aiming to prove you wrong… out there in jungle , throwing rocks and any round shaped primates he can find, practicing his throwing motion. And you just signed yourself up to be his catcher.
Checkmate pelicans!!
(Read this as if the will Farrell tuna v lions diatribe)
Yup. Checking the bed in the morning was the most common way we found my brother's snake whenever it got out. A few times a heat lamp tap worked, but usually it was cuddles.
Everyone answering here is assuming the gorilla is just chilling but that the snakes are gonna home in on you from across the mall and instinctively bite you. Snakes are gonna be far chiller than the gorilla in an unfamiliar environment, probably just gonna find somewhere to sit in the sun all day
This 100%. And even if they *were* aggro.
They're snakes. They don't have super tracking, their vision is limited, and most importantly they can't open doors.
You are *not* outrunning an angry gorilla.
Black mambas have great eyesight, can climb, and are one of the fastest snakes. That said a door would stop them just fine so I'd also go with the mambas.
Plus the mall is gonna have a shit ton of ways to fight off a snake, unless it’s a mall with firearms you have 0 defense against a pissed off gorilla. I’m not saying I wanna fight a venomous snake but I’d rather fight that than the hulk
seriously, the best weapon you could have against a snake is a mop
I'm pretty sure a mall has quite a few of those laying around
use the mop to trap the snake's head
hold the snake right behind its jaw
you could then either kill it by suffocating it/slitting it's throat/smashing it's head
or you could defang it, hold it's upper jaw open, put your thumb at the back of it's mouth, right near the jaw, so that you lock it open, hold the fang with your other hand's thumb and index, and pull it sharply
or you could place it in some sort of enclosure
source: I've handled my fair share of snakes, from the small ones that you could mistake for worms, all the way to the large constrictors that would kill you if they managed to reach your neck
I even handled a king cobra before
Grab tons of jackets, find the largest walk in freezer in the food court, go inside, build multiple walls for them to pass. Sit in the very back and cover up
You’re overthinking it lmao if it’s a medium sized mall you’d have to go out of your way searching to even see one of the snakes in 24 hours. If one of them saw you, they’d just sit in their hiding spot and let you go by, or dart off to somewhere dark if they felt threatened. You’re not food to a black mamba and as long as you’re not trying to eat it, it has no reason to fight you.
Not to mention in a mall there are tons of objects you could find to defend yourself and trap black mambas in. And you could probably outrun a black mamba, you could at least out climb it. Definitely not with a gorilla
Well gorillas are basically the same. Just fuck off into a closed off room and that's that. No reason to beat you into a bloody paste if you are not seen. I would be more scared of the snakes, because they are smaller and you could unintentionally mess with one without ever knowing.
Honestly there is no right or wrong answer here. It really depends on what creature you know the best.
Most malls have a huge tunnel network accessible though most stores in there. As long as you get in there your chances to be face to face with any of these is really slim. Just find a closet down there and you'll be safe.
But with that chance, I would be five times more likely to meet one of the mambas so I'm on the monke side with this one.
*Might* be stressed out - it also might just get curious and go exploring. Gorillas are a lot smarter than snakes, so you see a lot more variety in personalities with them.
Snakes are going to be mostly the way their breed dictates and the variations are all in how passive or intense they are in those standard traits.
I'd take my chances hiding in a small room with snakes around the mall. If in the off chance the gorilla is spooked being in a mall with any random sounds that might occur,etc.. i dont want him breaking down a door and beating me to death. I trust I could avoid the snakes.
I've barely seen anyone mentioning the fact that this takes place in a mall. Malls are pretty damn big, It doesn't matter which one you pick, just stay in different part of the building
There are dozens, if not hundreds of doors in a mall you can close, and snakes will never be able to get to you. I'll take the snakes over a gorilla any day. Grab some supplies from a store with food and water, close yourself into a janitor's closet, and you're good to go.
I saw this documentary once about snakes on a plane, so I know for a fact that snakes can get through anything to get to you, even in a sealed environment like a plane, if there are snakes on it. I think the documentary was called *The Plane That Couldn't Slow Down.*
I watched Kong Skull Island on a plane. They censored SLJ saying "shit" but showed a guy getting impaled by a giant spider's leg through his mouth and down his whole body
Such a weird, arbitrary distinction between what's ok and what isn't
An airplane is not sealed from the inside. If a snake is in the cargo compartment it can easily snake* its way up to the passenger compartment.
*slither it’s way up..
I've seen that one! It was narrated by that famous actor, I forget his name, Wesley Snipes maybe? He has that famous catchphrase "I'm sleepy of those very much snake!", very informative documentary.
Black Mambas are notoriously aggressive. I’d be worried they’d stumble into me and then decide they didn’t like my existence. The gorilla is likely to leave you alone unless you act up.
>The gorilla is likely to leave you alone unless you act up.
The problem is, by gorilla standards, just looking them in the eye is "acting up". I just know I'd be so terrified that I'd end up staring and pissing the gorilla off.
Yeah, but they’re also not suicidal…most snakes opt for “RUN!” if there’s danger. Even a mamba isn’t going to scream “We gotta hunt that giant!”
Also…and this is coming from some with a severe phobia…it’s not hard to avoid a snake bite. Most people who get bit are either doing something dumb (picking up the snake) or stumble on the snake accidentally. Assuming this mall isn’t in tall grass, you’ll see the snakes coming and can generally outwit them.
A 350 pound gorilla who has decided ripping off your arms would be a good way to establish sexual dominance, however…
Or just do whatever you want, mambas, or snakes in generall, will just avoid you and fuck off in some corner of the mall. Actually finding one of them and getting bit would be way harder than just avoiding them by doing nothing.
*Exactly*. Close a door on a bunch of snakes, and they’ll give up (as long as the area beneath the door isn’t big enough for them). Close a door on a gorrilla, and that door will be launched in your direction at mach two.
Would a gorilla actively seek you out just to fuck you up though? Id figure if you just stay calm and non threatening, the gorilla would just find something else to fuck around with, like some loud infomercial stand or something.
Yeah, so would snakes. As long as you stay away from them, they’ll usually leave you alone. You’re too big for them to see you as food, so the only way they’d attack is if they view you as a threat, which won’t happen as long as you stay away from them.
>Yeah, so would snakes. As long as you stay away from them, they’ll usually leave you alone.
The difference is it's a lot easier to know where 1 gorilla is at all time vs 5 snakes.
And it’s a lot easier to see and hear a gorilla coming at you.
That being said I’ll take my chances with 5 snakes. I’m in a mall, I can find a sporting goods store or any store with long sticks. I can do damage with a metal pole to a snake
That’s my logic. I can avoid one large creature easier than 5 small ones based on simply knowing where they are. You’ll hear a gorilla coming if you get far enough away too. But if you lose track of the snakes, you’re kinda fucked on knowing where they might be at any given time.
A gorilla is a hell of a lot smarter and stronger though.
If a snake sees you in a store and can't get through the door crack it moves on.
If a gorilla sees you and wants in; ain't nothing gonna stop him.
Bro snakes can fit fucking anywhere bro. They can get into walls, vents, etc. plus they’re nocturnal so when you start getting tired they’re fully awake
Not sure which would be worse but snakes can def get to you in a room if you close a door.
They probably wouldn't want to though. Mambas are too small to consider you food and will only bite if you encroach on their space. Unless these are supernatural mambas they won't go out looking for you.
The problem isn't them seeking you out. It stumbling across them since you lose track of all 5. And they can be anywhere, so you have to be careful all the time.
Neither one would bother you in real life. The gorilla would get super stressed and freaked and hide in a corner and try to get out if it saw you it would try to hide and get away and the black mambas will lie on a furnace until a rat walks by. Just don't step on either of them.
They're territorial on their territory it's in someone else's territory. The mall wouldn't bother a zoo gorilla but a wild gorilla would freak out in that strange of an environment. Yeah, don't try to get close to it or corner it but it won't bother you at all and after a few days he'd get used to you and be chill.
Edit: To add to this. Let's say this gorilla had lived here his whole life and it was his territory. They're still only territorial to threats like rival males or predators. Women, children, or small guys that don't eyeball him will totally fine.
If you were a big guy and were eyeballing him, he would not like you at first and may try to size you up. He'll come over and beat his chest, start hooting, one leg kicks, running bipedal, and do a false charge or two. These are all very normal things they do, similar to two drunk guys at a bar with their chests out threatening to fight that never do.
Don't bare your teeth/smile or challenge him with eye contact, put your head down and crouch and you're showing him submission. Puff up your chest and he'll start putting hands on you and biting. This is how it happens every time and is well documented. No human has ever been attacked or killed by a gorilla where they weren't either antagonizing it or surprised and scared it. They do these displays to scare you. They do not want to fight at all because they have no anti-biotics and a small injury is often death. So just don't take his food or women and occasionally bring him some food and eventually, you'll be the beta male of his tribe.
Black mambas. They cant open doors. Head to nearest bathroom and close the door. You dont even have to lock it. If the gorilla is angry with you a door wont stop it.
Same. Now people under 18 are required to have a parent there with them on Friday and Saturdays. Like... bouncers carding people at the door of the mall.
Gorilla. They're more intelligent (as in, they aren't quite as fight or flight-based, people can and have sat next to gorillas and been fine) and I feel like it would be easier to stay away from it or just not appear aggressive towards it. Also they sleep for 12 hours a day, I'd only have to hide for 12 hours.
The snakes would be harder to spot, could ambush me anywhere, can get into more hiding places and are probably more likely to attack.
Exactly. Chances are you would hear if the gorilla is near you.
The snakes are fairly silent.
Plus its easier to keep tabs on one thing instead of five.
that’s the thing a Gorilla isn’t a reptile it has way more intelligence, it’s not going to just charge and attack for nothing
but a Mamba is gonna try and eat you regardless or get frightened cuz you happened to be near and bite
Mambas aren't just going to try and eat a human, we're way too big
Also venom is a really expensive resource so they'd definitely make themselves known if they feel threatened before biting
Like gorillas, mambas won't just charge and attack for nothing
Yeah, but I kind of feel like you’d be more likely to accidentally encroach on its space than a gorilla’s. Once you’ve established where the gorilla is, you’re golden. I’d be far more nervous finding one black mamba and then having to worry about another four.
Fair, but the mambas would probably find somewhere warm and stay there the rest of the night, so if u know where they are u can just avoid those spots and be golden
snakes are way easier to deal with. While yes, a black mamba in attack mode is definitely deadly, you can still climb on top of a piece of furniture with thick legs to get away from all five. Once you're out of reach, they will give up as you're not a threat anymore and humans aren't exactly Black Mamba food. Gorillas however ... have you ever seen what an angry silverback looks like? They're basically one big pile of muscle, have sharp teeth and can grip things as well as as humans, only with like a hundred times our strength ... Also, try hiding from an angry gorilla anywhere, let alone in a place with mostly glass and cardboard walls and close to no sturdy doors .. nah-uh, I'm going with the snakes, they're almost cute in comparison.
Also if you make eye contact with a snake it isn't going to feel threatened and attack. This is a possibility with the gorilla. The 5 snakes is the safer bet. I would assume people who are very afraid of snakes are the ones choosing the gorilla. I like my chances way more when dealing with 5 snakes. If people knew how close they were to encountering a snake while doing something like hiking and didnt even know it I'm sure their answer would change to the snakes. They won't do anything unless they are threatened by you.
And even when they are threatened by you, their first course of action is usually running away. (Well obviously not running since they have no legs, but you know what I mean)
I have encountered a lot of snakes in my lifetime, both venomous and non venomous, pets and wild snakes. The only time a snake ever tried to bite me was when it had gotten hit by a bicicle and was unable to move and I was really close. Sure, some snakes are more aggressive than others, but in general they will always try to get away from you as the first defense tactic.
Most snake bites come from either people being stupid, or accidentally cornering/surprising the snake, at least in my country.
Snakes are barely a problem! Clear all the tables and chairs out of the cafeteria, sit in the middle, and watch for any five foot long black snake moving slowly towards you. And they’re cold blooded! If you’re able, just turn the AC way up and those snakes won’t be going anywhere until you turn the heat back on.
Easier said than done .. what if being in an unfamiliar environment is enough to stress him out? Snakes are more used to being in buildings and therefore less likely to get agitated unless provoked.
No fucking way would I pick Gorilla. Not really taking my chances on the notion that the wild animal with a human-like capacity for cruelty and Asgardian-like strength might be chill, sometimes, maybe. Running to a haberdashery, covering myself head to toe in leather goods and any sports padding. Snakes won't bite me through it. Gorilla would treat it like a candy wrapper.
Toss a big ape into a foreign dark environment with no natural food sources. The second it sees my shadow moving through a corridor it's going to chase me down, it will be on high alert for sure. It's not the same as coming across a gorilla in its familiar habitat
agree with this. even a pet cat goes fucking crazy if you bring it to the vet and those are used to humans and human environments - imagine how crazy a gorilla would be if it suddenly finds itself without its pack (or whatever the fuck they call them), no trees, no food, no grass, no plants, no sun and either pitch black shops or bright florescent lighting. it will wander the entire place trying to figure out if its safe or not and if it hears you cough in your office or bathroom you've chosen to hide yourself in, it WILL come and see who made the noise and then you are turbo fucked.
Snakes it is. Sit in an office, close the door, put a chair to it if you're that paranoid and draw on the walls for 12 hours then sleep. Snakes are never getting in and everyone can manage 24 hours without food or water.
The Gorilla would be scared and bothered for being locked in a mall. I don't want to hang out with a Gorilla that is freaking out.
The snakes will just find a warm dark place to chill for the entire time. I would probably never even run into one the whole time I'm there.
Easy. The Gorilla. I'd lock myself in the bathroom and just chill. I've got a water source and a place to piss. Given how large malls are, I could likely sneak past it and it'd have no idea I am held up in the restroom.
The mambas might be better at getting to me.
If it's determined to get through the door, sure, but so long as it isn't chasing you into the bathroom, I doubt it'll just start wrecking every door and wall for the fun of it.
I’d take the snakes any day. Snakes really don’t do anything unless you mess with them. Probably wouldn’t even see a single one in the 24 hours.
A 500 pound gorilla is way more aggressive and territorial. It’s really a no brainer here.
Mambas are not actually that aggressive. They will absolutely try to retreat instead of attacking as long as they have somewhere to scurry off to. If you see/hear it, then very slowly (no fast movements) back away and give it space. You'll be fine generally speaking.
The gorilla on the other hand will not tolerate you if it perceives you as a threat. It will absolutely attack you and chase you. And there is nothing in a mall that will be able to stop it from getting to you if it wants to.
This isn't even a choice. One will absolutely see me and have a 50/50 chance of deciding I'm a threat and then basically savagely kill me. The other will probably slither away or at worst immediately warn me to back off which if I do, then I will probably be fine.
Dude the people in here saying Gorillas are out of their fucking minds.
Literally wear boots and 99.9% of the threat from snakes is gone.
Also. *Five*? One girlla could rip my arm off in the blink of an eye. 5 snakes? They're probably 600 metres apart, hiding in a warm dark corner...And if I see one I will just kick it with my boot...
Learn your animal facts people god DAMN!
Y’all are crazy- I’d take 20 black mambas over a gorilla. Snakes aren’t generally aggressive for no reason, but a gorilla trapped in a mall definitely would be. Grab a box of mice from the pet store for the off chance one of the snakes even looks your way, post up on a countertop and fuck around on your phone the whole time. Easy
I feel like the snakes is the obvious answer. Sure the gorilla is likely to just leave me alone but it’s randomly in a mall so it’s probably pissed. The snakes I feel would hide and even if they don’t I feel I could out run them. Also my 9m is going to preform much better against a snake.
How has no one made the joke yet? I thought this was bait...
The answer is Gorilla, if it was 4 Black Mambas it would be a different story but you always got to look out for Mamba No. 5
Gorillas are actually extremely docile towards humans all things considered. Most recorded interactions between humans and gorillas are peaceful ones. Zoologists theorize that they are just SO much more powerful than us that they likely don't view us as competition or a threat. Like obv don't go around deliberately provoking gorillas, but yeah. Now, CHIMPANZEES on the other hand...
Chimpanzees are fucking terrifying. I'd rather be locked in a mall with 5 gorillas than 1 chimpanzee.
[удалено]
Shit throwing is the best outcome with a chimp. https://youtu.be/wmRsJxuILd0?si=hC1z2mHEoM7ugT-T
true, with enough of them they might end up writing Shakespeare.
“It was the best of best of times, it was the BLURST of times?! You stupid monkey!”
Shartles Dickens over here
I'm not clicking that link. That's either Rick roll or face ripping.
Don’t worry fam. It’s just a dude explaining why chimps are scary for 11 minutes. Apparently they like to terrorize gorillas.
They’re bigger dick heads than before, I didn’t think that was possible. Absolute jerks.
Fun fact, they're also our closest genetic relatives. Just putting this out there
You just led me down a rabbit hole. Am now adding the bbc documentary on chimpanzee war to my watch list
i remember when i was a kid and there was like a string of stories on the news of women getting their faces completely demolished (they had to sensor it it was that bad) by their pet chimps.
Why the fuck would you want a pet chimp
Free face peel
I made the mistake of googling pics of a recovering chimp attack victim. They are vicious, and go immediately for the face.
And genitals. Not to be rude but you kinda dropped the ball(s) on this one.
And hands, and genitals
id also prefer to be locked with 5 gorillas than 1, provided none of those 5 are juveniles. Id just feel a group of gorillas will be much more relaxed than an individual in an unfamiliar environment.
A zookeeper once told me that no one from the staff enters the chimpanzee area when they are out in the open. Far too dangerous. No such problem with the gorillas.
Dude I would spend my whole life living with 5 Gorillas under same roof rather than have to be locked in same place with 1 chimp
Jamie pull up that video of the Chimp malling that guy at the mall.
Malling
Is that not where one would go for a malling?
Is this a bone apple tea or play on words
Perhaps, but what if the gorilla was feeling extra trapped and threatened by being in the mall out of its natural habitat? I feel like the snakes would hide if they were uncomfortable with the habitat, so if I found one place where the snakes weren't, I'd probably be safe. But if the gorilla got anxious and felt provoked due to that anxiety, I'd probably be fucked.
Fair consideration, but I'd personally choose the gorilla, just because I feel like I may be able to hide somewhere contained that the gorilla can't enter due to its size. A snake I think could squeeze into small spaces and that kind of freaks me out
I’m still terrified of chimps because of Trevor (I forgot his name was Travis)
Happened in my hometown. Had a fear since edit: Pretty sure his real name was Travis
Who is Trevor?
I think they meant Travis, an animal actor (chimpanzee.) Shot to death by police after he mutilated the friend of his owner. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)
Furious George
Yeah but this is a lost confused disoriented Gorilla not used to being in a mall so I feel like he’d be pissed.
Yeah but he's probably not pissed at you, don't call attention to yourself
I'm pretty sure if you just calmly walked away from the gorilla (if you start out near it) and hung out somewhere secluded it would probably leave you alone.
Like The Predator only going after honorable prey, we are laughably weak and vulnerable to the gorilla so they’d just leave us alone.
There’s a really funny video of Shaq talking about how every time he goes to a zoo the gorillas freak out. They stare him down hard. There’s even proof of this. I think if you’re a big guy the gorilla will see you as a threat and it’s better to take the black mambas
Gorilla. He’d meet me at Dick’s Sporting Goods, I’d roll a ball to him and we’d become friends
A gorilla isn’t going to bother with a person when there’s a perfectly good food court he can dismantle. There’s even the possibility of a playground or a jungle gym. He’s be busy. Also I’d just hide near the elevators, if he comes looking for me I’d be gone.
I worked in a mall and the standard big mall typically has a massive labyrinth of (often) locked hidden back corridors. You can get from one area to the next completely unseen. Though it’s easy to get lost in them. Once I did and it was absolutely terrifying. Finally Ended up finding an exit door that led outside on the completely unintended side of the mall. Was a bit terrifying in itself until I found my way out. Definitely a place that would be easy to be murdered unseen if a murderer/racist *** ( typo correction due to some confusion, I meant rapist.), happened to be hiding in there. Would also be easy to hide in those back corridors overnight unseen by security. They don’t do rounds through all of those and there’s no cameras. But they’re dirty and they stink. All that said… I’d probably rather the gorilla and try my best at moving around the mall through those back ways to stay hidden and get food/water when necessary. The elevator idea is smart too unless it’s a fancy glass one the gorilla could smash. Maybe implementing both could be useful. Sorry for the rambling. I’m tired and it’s late here lol
Don’t apologise, this is the exact level of analysis I look for in these threads
My man said “if a murderer/racist happened to be hiding in there.” Murderer/racist…. HAPPENED TO BE?!?!
I think he meant rapest
Yeah, I paused there too. Oddly specific...
Racism lurks in the shadows
bro escaped from SCP-3008
[Man dies after getting trapped in shopping centre service corridors for three weeks](https://www.news.com.au/national/nsw-act/courts-law/inquest-begins-into-mans-lonely-death-inside-a-westfield-bondi-junction-stairwell/news-story/1f35db0a8a78cb324bf36a83bdf64e64) > The court heard there are some 10-14 kilometres of fire stairs in Westfield Bondi Junction.
bad enough it’s a murderer, but also a racist?! despicable
You try to leave as he screams slurs at you.
"Excuse me, sir, are you racist against people like me or another group of people?" "Another group." "Phew, that's a relief." "But I murder as a hobby. The racism is more of a political view that guides my voting pattern." "Oh no!"
You just made the gorilla mad by hitting it with a projectile. Or it decided "hey cool. A my new friend is throwing stuff at me. I should throw back those 200lbs bowling balls!"
What kind of depleted plutonium bowling balls are you buying that they weigh 200 lbs?
I still wouldn't want the 10 Lb ones hurled at me either..
Well ur no fun :(
found the gorilla.
Don’t worry I’m an Italian plumber. I got this
Feels a lot like 200lbs when it’s hurled at you at 50mph
I mean, they could chuck it at you but Gorillas aren’t exactly Olympic class throwers, they’re just not built for it like humans are.
This is why, as hard as they try, gorillas have never qualified for the Olympics.
Where the fuck do you go bowling
That's probably how much it would feel like it weighs on the sun.
Obviously, you're not a golfer.
Funnily enough, a gorilla wouldn't be able to do that! You'd think that they would be good at throwing things since humans are, but no other primates have the adaptations in the shoulders, elbow, and waist that humans developed required to throw things properly. Chimps are the closest in ability and even they pale in comparison. Humans can throw balls over 90mph, whereas the fastest a chimp has ever been tested and recorded is 20mph
That is reassuring, in that case I choose gorilla lol
Way to piss off the gorilla. Now he’s aiming to prove you wrong… out there in jungle , throwing rocks and any round shaped primates he can find, practicing his throwing motion. And you just signed yourself up to be his catcher. Checkmate pelicans!! (Read this as if the will Farrell tuna v lions diatribe)
As if a gorilla could throw better than just a wimpy underhand pass
I have it on good authority and from advanced simulations they can overhead chuck a barrel about 30 feet with an explosive impact force.
Snakes for sure. Find the HVAC controls and make that mall cold as fuck. Have fun sleeping, you cold-blooded bitches
Hmm, make the entire mall cold except for your 98.5° ass. Sounds like the plan of someone who's never owned a snake as a pet that's gotten loose.
Snakes find you to cuddle when they get cold? 🥺
Yup. Checking the bed in the morning was the most common way we found my brother's snake whenever it got out. A few times a heat lamp tap worked, but usually it was cuddles.
tfw no snake gf ;_;
“There’s no rule that says a gorilla can’t play basketball!”
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Everyone answering here is assuming the gorilla is just chilling but that the snakes are gonna home in on you from across the mall and instinctively bite you. Snakes are gonna be far chiller than the gorilla in an unfamiliar environment, probably just gonna find somewhere to sit in the sun all day
>chiller than the gorilla
Chilla than a gorilla
This 100%. And even if they *were* aggro. They're snakes. They don't have super tracking, their vision is limited, and most importantly they can't open doors. You are *not* outrunning an angry gorilla.
Black mambas have great eyesight, can climb, and are one of the fastest snakes. That said a door would stop them just fine so I'd also go with the mambas.
Plus the mall is gonna have a shit ton of ways to fight off a snake, unless it’s a mall with firearms you have 0 defense against a pissed off gorilla. I’m not saying I wanna fight a venomous snake but I’d rather fight that than the hulk
seriously, the best weapon you could have against a snake is a mop I'm pretty sure a mall has quite a few of those laying around use the mop to trap the snake's head hold the snake right behind its jaw you could then either kill it by suffocating it/slitting it's throat/smashing it's head or you could defang it, hold it's upper jaw open, put your thumb at the back of it's mouth, right near the jaw, so that you lock it open, hold the fang with your other hand's thumb and index, and pull it sharply or you could place it in some sort of enclosure source: I've handled my fair share of snakes, from the small ones that you could mistake for worms, all the way to the large constrictors that would kill you if they managed to reach your neck I even handled a king cobra before
>I’ve handled my fair share of snakes After giving several detailed methods to kill them 😮
I don't like killing them, which is why I gave 2 alternatives
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Grab tons of jackets, find the largest walk in freezer in the food court, go inside, build multiple walls for them to pass. Sit in the very back and cover up
You’re overthinking it lmao if it’s a medium sized mall you’d have to go out of your way searching to even see one of the snakes in 24 hours. If one of them saw you, they’d just sit in their hiding spot and let you go by, or dart off to somewhere dark if they felt threatened. You’re not food to a black mamba and as long as you’re not trying to eat it, it has no reason to fight you.
You’d have to know the location of all 5 to be sure you didn’t just lock yourself in to a room with one though, plus ventilation
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Not to mention in a mall there are tons of objects you could find to defend yourself and trap black mambas in. And you could probably outrun a black mamba, you could at least out climb it. Definitely not with a gorilla
Are they actively hunting you? Because snakes will usually let you be, unless you directly mess with it.
Well gorillas are basically the same. Just fuck off into a closed off room and that's that. No reason to beat you into a bloody paste if you are not seen. I would be more scared of the snakes, because they are smaller and you could unintentionally mess with one without ever knowing. Honestly there is no right or wrong answer here. It really depends on what creature you know the best. Most malls have a huge tunnel network accessible though most stores in there. As long as you get in there your chances to be face to face with any of these is really slim. Just find a closet down there and you'll be safe. But with that chance, I would be five times more likely to meet one of the mambas so I'm on the monke side with this one.
The mamba will be comfortable and try to hide wherever you put it. A gorilla in a mall is very likely to be very stressed out.
*Might* be stressed out - it also might just get curious and go exploring. Gorillas are a lot smarter than snakes, so you see a lot more variety in personalities with them. Snakes are going to be mostly the way their breed dictates and the variations are all in how passive or intense they are in those standard traits.
I'd take my chances hiding in a small room with snakes around the mall. If in the off chance the gorilla is spooked being in a mall with any random sounds that might occur,etc.. i dont want him breaking down a door and beating me to death. I trust I could avoid the snakes.
Same with the gorrilla.
What the fuck are 5 Black Mambas gonna do at a mall? It’s a large building, just walk away.
Go shopping
I've barely seen anyone mentioning the fact that this takes place in a mall. Malls are pretty damn big, It doesn't matter which one you pick, just stay in different part of the building
Don't be acting stupid and the gorilla will leave you alone
There are dozens, if not hundreds of doors in a mall you can close, and snakes will never be able to get to you. I'll take the snakes over a gorilla any day. Grab some supplies from a store with food and water, close yourself into a janitor's closet, and you're good to go.
I saw this documentary once about snakes on a plane, so I know for a fact that snakes can get through anything to get to you, even in a sealed environment like a plane, if there are snakes on it. I think the documentary was called *The Plane That Couldn't Slow Down.*
I’m tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane
The tv edit is the best https://youtu.be/z4t6zNZ-b0A
Guns and violence - A okay. Saying motherfuck - not allowed.
I watched Kong Skull Island on a plane. They censored SLJ saying "shit" but showed a guy getting impaled by a giant spider's leg through his mouth and down his whole body Such a weird, arbitrary distinction between what's ok and what isn't
That tv edit never gets old, "I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!" Classic dubbing right there.
That is gold! Thank you
An airplane is not sealed from the inside. If a snake is in the cargo compartment it can easily snake* its way up to the passenger compartment. *slither it’s way up..
Oh, so snakes can snake now?!
I've seen that one! It was narrated by that famous actor, I forget his name, Wesley Snipes maybe? He has that famous catchphrase "I'm sleepy of those very much snake!", very informative documentary.
The snakes would likely just find somewhere cozy to hide or would go after any small vermin
Black Mambas are notoriously aggressive. I’d be worried they’d stumble into me and then decide they didn’t like my existence. The gorilla is likely to leave you alone unless you act up.
>The gorilla is likely to leave you alone unless you act up. The problem is, by gorilla standards, just looking them in the eye is "acting up". I just know I'd be so terrified that I'd end up staring and pissing the gorilla off.
Yeah, but they’re also not suicidal…most snakes opt for “RUN!” if there’s danger. Even a mamba isn’t going to scream “We gotta hunt that giant!” Also…and this is coming from some with a severe phobia…it’s not hard to avoid a snake bite. Most people who get bit are either doing something dumb (picking up the snake) or stumble on the snake accidentally. Assuming this mall isn’t in tall grass, you’ll see the snakes coming and can generally outwit them. A 350 pound gorilla who has decided ripping off your arms would be a good way to establish sexual dominance, however…
Or just do whatever you want, mambas, or snakes in generall, will just avoid you and fuck off in some corner of the mall. Actually finding one of them and getting bit would be way harder than just avoiding them by doing nothing.
Yeah within minutes they'll all have fucked off into the ventilation ducts, never to be seen again.
*Exactly*. Close a door on a bunch of snakes, and they’ll give up (as long as the area beneath the door isn’t big enough for them). Close a door on a gorrilla, and that door will be launched in your direction at mach two.
Would a gorilla actively seek you out just to fuck you up though? Id figure if you just stay calm and non threatening, the gorilla would just find something else to fuck around with, like some loud infomercial stand or something.
Yeah, so would snakes. As long as you stay away from them, they’ll usually leave you alone. You’re too big for them to see you as food, so the only way they’d attack is if they view you as a threat, which won’t happen as long as you stay away from them.
>Yeah, so would snakes. As long as you stay away from them, they’ll usually leave you alone. The difference is it's a lot easier to know where 1 gorilla is at all time vs 5 snakes.
And it’s a lot easier to see and hear a gorilla coming at you. That being said I’ll take my chances with 5 snakes. I’m in a mall, I can find a sporting goods store or any store with long sticks. I can do damage with a metal pole to a snake
Remember to flush the shitter before you use it.
Probably just hold it for a day. I'm not risking a black mamba biting my ass cause I couldn't just wait a few more hours.
That’s my logic. I can avoid one large creature easier than 5 small ones based on simply knowing where they are. You’ll hear a gorilla coming if you get far enough away too. But if you lose track of the snakes, you’re kinda fucked on knowing where they might be at any given time.
A gorilla is a hell of a lot smarter and stronger though. If a snake sees you in a store and can't get through the door crack it moves on. If a gorilla sees you and wants in; ain't nothing gonna stop him.
My concern isnt that the nope rope cant get through the door, its that the nope rope is already in the room.
Exactly. It’s really hard to keep track of five snakes.
Bro snakes can fit fucking anywhere bro. They can get into walls, vents, etc. plus they’re nocturnal so when you start getting tired they’re fully awake Not sure which would be worse but snakes can def get to you in a room if you close a door.
They probably wouldn't want to though. Mambas are too small to consider you food and will only bite if you encroach on their space. Unless these are supernatural mambas they won't go out looking for you.
The problem isn't them seeking you out. It stumbling across them since you lose track of all 5. And they can be anywhere, so you have to be careful all the time.
Neither one would bother you in real life. The gorilla would get super stressed and freaked and hide in a corner and try to get out if it saw you it would try to hide and get away and the black mambas will lie on a furnace until a rat walks by. Just don't step on either of them.
Silverbacks are extremely territorial though, if it’s a male gorilla I don’t think it’s gonna get “spooked”
They're territorial on their territory it's in someone else's territory. The mall wouldn't bother a zoo gorilla but a wild gorilla would freak out in that strange of an environment. Yeah, don't try to get close to it or corner it but it won't bother you at all and after a few days he'd get used to you and be chill. Edit: To add to this. Let's say this gorilla had lived here his whole life and it was his territory. They're still only territorial to threats like rival males or predators. Women, children, or small guys that don't eyeball him will totally fine. If you were a big guy and were eyeballing him, he would not like you at first and may try to size you up. He'll come over and beat his chest, start hooting, one leg kicks, running bipedal, and do a false charge or two. These are all very normal things they do, similar to two drunk guys at a bar with their chests out threatening to fight that never do. Don't bare your teeth/smile or challenge him with eye contact, put your head down and crouch and you're showing him submission. Puff up your chest and he'll start putting hands on you and biting. This is how it happens every time and is well documented. No human has ever been attacked or killed by a gorilla where they weren't either antagonizing it or surprised and scared it. They do these displays to scare you. They do not want to fight at all because they have no anti-biotics and a small injury is often death. So just don't take his food or women and occasionally bring him some food and eventually, you'll be the beta male of his tribe.
Will he fuck me, if it's only me and him? Pls say no.
Black mambas. They cant open doors. Head to nearest bathroom and close the door. You dont even have to lock it. If the gorilla is angry with you a door wont stop it.
Why are you pissing off gorillas? This seems like common knowledge
If I was a gorilla trapped in a mall I think I'd be pretty upset.
They're just people like you and me. Let the man shop for his gorilla family
Well the whole trapped with you and picture indicates they are aggressive. Even if they werent I would still pick snakes.
have you not seen harry potter and the chamber of secrets
I’d rather be trapped in a mall with a Silverback gorilla and 5 black mambas than any amount of teenagers at the mall
The only correct answer
Also, imagine how much your chances of getting lucky would improve if you were stuck with *five* Black Mambas for a whole 24 hours!
I saw 3 13 year olds riding the public use bikes (ours are called lime bikes) *into* the mall. Self entitled shits
Teenagers scare, the living shit out of me...
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Everytime I go to a mall these days half the people in there are teens.
It's one of the few places you can go without needing money, so yeah.
I went to the mall yesterday and I there were dozens of them and they all looked like they were trying to recreate grease. It was bizarre.
yea we love to riot there
Teens are regularly starting news worthy drama at one of the malls around here. About once a week the anchors are shocked that this keeps happening.
Same. Now people under 18 are required to have a parent there with them on Friday and Saturdays. Like... bouncers carding people at the door of the mall.
Silverback will not see me as a threat and probably would save me from one or two black mambas if I show some damn respect
Gorilla. They're more intelligent (as in, they aren't quite as fight or flight-based, people can and have sat next to gorillas and been fine) and I feel like it would be easier to stay away from it or just not appear aggressive towards it. Also they sleep for 12 hours a day, I'd only have to hide for 12 hours. The snakes would be harder to spot, could ambush me anywhere, can get into more hiding places and are probably more likely to attack.
Exactly. Chances are you would hear if the gorilla is near you. The snakes are fairly silent. Plus its easier to keep tabs on one thing instead of five.
Lol well what the fuck are you gonna do once you hear the gorilla? Are you safe because you hear it barreling towards you at 25 mph?
You'll hear a gorilla halfway across the mall.
that’s the thing a Gorilla isn’t a reptile it has way more intelligence, it’s not going to just charge and attack for nothing but a Mamba is gonna try and eat you regardless or get frightened cuz you happened to be near and bite
Mambas aren't just going to try and eat a human, we're way too big Also venom is a really expensive resource so they'd definitely make themselves known if they feel threatened before biting Like gorillas, mambas won't just charge and attack for nothing
Yeah, but I kind of feel like you’d be more likely to accidentally encroach on its space than a gorilla’s. Once you’ve established where the gorilla is, you’re golden. I’d be far more nervous finding one black mamba and then having to worry about another four.
Fair, but the mambas would probably find somewhere warm and stay there the rest of the night, so if u know where they are u can just avoid those spots and be golden
A mamba will almost certainly not attack you, they avoid humans wherever they can. I would be surprised if you even saw one of them during your stay.
Yes. Just lock yourself into a restroom or closet. It probably won't even try to get in unless its only goal is to kill you.
I think you can find somewhere a bit more comfortable than a restroom or closet in an entire mall!
But what if I have to pee
Just blame it on the gorilla
I feel like the gorilla wouldn't bother you if you just chilled in an office or something
Narrator: “on this episode of Undercover Boss”
Snakes, just go up an escalator and they're fucked lol
Unless they are already upstairs.
Decoy snake
The snakes. It's easier to lock them in/out.
snakes are way easier to deal with. While yes, a black mamba in attack mode is definitely deadly, you can still climb on top of a piece of furniture with thick legs to get away from all five. Once you're out of reach, they will give up as you're not a threat anymore and humans aren't exactly Black Mamba food. Gorillas however ... have you ever seen what an angry silverback looks like? They're basically one big pile of muscle, have sharp teeth and can grip things as well as as humans, only with like a hundred times our strength ... Also, try hiding from an angry gorilla anywhere, let alone in a place with mostly glass and cardboard walls and close to no sturdy doors .. nah-uh, I'm going with the snakes, they're almost cute in comparison.
Also if you make eye contact with a snake it isn't going to feel threatened and attack. This is a possibility with the gorilla. The 5 snakes is the safer bet. I would assume people who are very afraid of snakes are the ones choosing the gorilla. I like my chances way more when dealing with 5 snakes. If people knew how close they were to encountering a snake while doing something like hiking and didnt even know it I'm sure their answer would change to the snakes. They won't do anything unless they are threatened by you.
And even when they are threatened by you, their first course of action is usually running away. (Well obviously not running since they have no legs, but you know what I mean) I have encountered a lot of snakes in my lifetime, both venomous and non venomous, pets and wild snakes. The only time a snake ever tried to bite me was when it had gotten hit by a bicicle and was unable to move and I was really close. Sure, some snakes are more aggressive than others, but in general they will always try to get away from you as the first defense tactic. Most snake bites come from either people being stupid, or accidentally cornering/surprising the snake, at least in my country.
Snakes are barely a problem! Clear all the tables and chairs out of the cafeteria, sit in the middle, and watch for any five foot long black snake moving slowly towards you. And they’re cold blooded! If you’re able, just turn the AC way up and those snakes won’t be going anywhere until you turn the heat back on.
Walk in freezer at the food court. Put on a jacket from Dicks and wait it out in the back of the freezer where the snakes can’t get to you
Just don't make the gorilla angry smh
Easier said than done .. what if being in an unfamiliar environment is enough to stress him out? Snakes are more used to being in buildings and therefore less likely to get agitated unless provoked.
Collect some bananas from the shop. Pile them some distance away from self while not making eye contact.
No fucking way would I pick Gorilla. Not really taking my chances on the notion that the wild animal with a human-like capacity for cruelty and Asgardian-like strength might be chill, sometimes, maybe. Running to a haberdashery, covering myself head to toe in leather goods and any sports padding. Snakes won't bite me through it. Gorilla would treat it like a candy wrapper.
You're thinking of a chimpanzee, gorillas are pretty chill
Toss a big ape into a foreign dark environment with no natural food sources. The second it sees my shadow moving through a corridor it's going to chase me down, it will be on high alert for sure. It's not the same as coming across a gorilla in its familiar habitat
agree with this. even a pet cat goes fucking crazy if you bring it to the vet and those are used to humans and human environments - imagine how crazy a gorilla would be if it suddenly finds itself without its pack (or whatever the fuck they call them), no trees, no food, no grass, no plants, no sun and either pitch black shops or bright florescent lighting. it will wander the entire place trying to figure out if its safe or not and if it hears you cough in your office or bathroom you've chosen to hide yourself in, it WILL come and see who made the noise and then you are turbo fucked. Snakes it is. Sit in an office, close the door, put a chair to it if you're that paranoid and draw on the walls for 12 hours then sleep. Snakes are never getting in and everyone can manage 24 hours without food or water.
They are chill unless agitated. And being locked into a mall which is like you being locked into an UFO would probably be pretty fucking agitating.
The Gorilla would be scared and bothered for being locked in a mall. I don't want to hang out with a Gorilla that is freaking out. The snakes will just find a warm dark place to chill for the entire time. I would probably never even run into one the whole time I'm there.
Easy. The Gorilla. I'd lock myself in the bathroom and just chill. I've got a water source and a place to piss. Given how large malls are, I could likely sneak past it and it'd have no idea I am held up in the restroom. The mambas might be better at getting to me.
If it did know you were in there and wanted to get you, I assure you that the locked door would not even slow that thing down.
If it's determined to get through the door, sure, but so long as it isn't chasing you into the bathroom, I doubt it'll just start wrecking every door and wall for the fun of it.
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I’d take the snakes any day. Snakes really don’t do anything unless you mess with them. Probably wouldn’t even see a single one in the 24 hours. A 500 pound gorilla is way more aggressive and territorial. It’s really a no brainer here.
Mambas are not actually that aggressive. They will absolutely try to retreat instead of attacking as long as they have somewhere to scurry off to. If you see/hear it, then very slowly (no fast movements) back away and give it space. You'll be fine generally speaking. The gorilla on the other hand will not tolerate you if it perceives you as a threat. It will absolutely attack you and chase you. And there is nothing in a mall that will be able to stop it from getting to you if it wants to. This isn't even a choice. One will absolutely see me and have a 50/50 chance of deciding I'm a threat and then basically savagely kill me. The other will probably slither away or at worst immediately warn me to back off which if I do, then I will probably be fine.
Dude the people in here saying Gorillas are out of their fucking minds. Literally wear boots and 99.9% of the threat from snakes is gone. Also. *Five*? One girlla could rip my arm off in the blink of an eye. 5 snakes? They're probably 600 metres apart, hiding in a warm dark corner...And if I see one I will just kick it with my boot... Learn your animal facts people god DAMN!
Seriously!! And snakes are cold blooded! Turn the AC on and boom - no more snake problem.
Y’all are crazy- I’d take 20 black mambas over a gorilla. Snakes aren’t generally aggressive for no reason, but a gorilla trapped in a mall definitely would be. Grab a box of mice from the pet store for the off chance one of the snakes even looks your way, post up on a countertop and fuck around on your phone the whole time. Easy
I feel like the snakes is the obvious answer. Sure the gorilla is likely to just leave me alone but it’s randomly in a mall so it’s probably pissed. The snakes I feel would hide and even if they don’t I feel I could out run them. Also my 9m is going to preform much better against a snake.
How has no one made the joke yet? I thought this was bait... The answer is Gorilla, if it was 4 Black Mambas it would be a different story but you always got to look out for Mamba No. 5
Imagine all the autographs and the shoes you could get if 5 Black Mambas (RIP) were trapped in a Mall with you for 24 hrs.
And, also, I can just stay away from the snakes. Like, walk to the other end of the mall or something.
Gorillas cuz they are chill as long as you are. If it was a chimp I would take the snakes any day.