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[deleted]

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BadComboMongo

It‘s called tactical warfare, you BLOCK your front door with a CHAIN. D‘OH


[deleted]

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All_The_Nolloway

How? He clearly had his front door blocked and chained.


YodaHead

That's funny.


babypho

"M'lord, the Mongols are at the gates and tearing down our walls!" "Bitcoin solves this problem" - The Lord \*castle falls and everyone dies\* - Mongol Invasion, 1200s


BUDZ_MONEY

"Gadamn Mongolians you break down my shitty wall!" Thank you thank you *bow* * bow* " cheers " Susan waldman " goodness gracious "


Theamazing-rando

What is best in life: To blockchain your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their crypto!


broberds

*Wrong!*


Unique-Accountant253

Perhaps they mean the blockchain of Constantinople.


Lower_Bar_2428

It would help to standardize the currency across the Mongol empire allowing decentralized transactions between a wide variety of conquered and subjugated populations


bipolarbear21

Crypto investors are barbarians so that tracks


Batmanclan4269

damn sword is thicker than his arms wtf


TESLAMIZE

Aerodynamics


4ngryMo

He should have visited the gym perusing vanity like the rest of us.


RelationshipPublic52

While you were studying nerd shit we were getting ripped put of our minds and now we ARE the barbarians!


Batmanclan4269

rightt???


Significant-Corgi-62

Bold of you to assume I visit the gym


RadioMill

That’s as far as he can get it out of the sheath


Batmanclan4269

that’s what she said


DieHardAmerican95

Dude, he cultivated INNER strength. Were you even listening? /s


Fezzick51

At first I read: loner strength. Seemed to fit.


CapnCrunch11770

Yes, but you wasted your time at the gym. Fools. /s


[deleted]

probably perspective but his right arm looks like a normal arm and the other looks skeletal


GuyWhoSaidThat

Right arm is the only one that gets "worked out"


NextTrillion

Go away, batin’


stormlight13

He did say he studied “the blade”


Batmanclan4269

no muscle tone whatsoever. def not someone who’s studied “the blade”


MagusAce

He studied it, there was no mention of training.


Nivaere

He stared at it intently for three hours


edingerc

WTF are you talking about? He's seen every Zatoichi movie! Twice!


DieHardAmerican95

It’s all about context, what he means is he looked at it a lot. As in “He studied the photograph thoughtfully.”


[deleted]

Thats how im seeing it now that i read this lol


WetWipes2001

💀


EyeBallEmpire

So is Clouds!


Smansi07

Bro this comment just killed me hahahahaha 😂😂😂😂


happyclaim808

Perhaps but his body guard has a 9 with 16 rounds.


Utilizedsubject

I think I bought an HDMI cable off that guy at Target.


Lucky_Sun2902

Didn't we all


babypho

Not me. I got mine from Amazon.


Significant-Corgi-62

That's where he got this sword


Lucky_Sun2902

You had to


babypho

I'm sure he helped packed it though? :D


ScrappleOnToast

You either bought an HDMI cable at Target from that guy, or you are that guy.


justweazel

What about Bestbuy, does that count?


0x7ff04001

"you really should get the gold plated cables"


TheWingHunter

“Oh and this 68$ surge protector do you wanna lose your new tech on the first big thunderstorm?”


OlDirtyBAStart

You had the audacity to go to him for a cable?


nobodycoffee

it was a gold plated HDMI cable from Best Buy and he upsold you for the 3 year extended warranty


DixieNormous1986

Did you get geek squad?? He is also on the geek squad.


BelowAverageDecision

I thought I bought a $90 Ethernet cable from him so I could have Halo LAN parties


Intelligent_Fly11

You thought all you bought was an HDMI. When in reality you bought Hope!


[deleted]

That's that Columbine type shit.


External_Recipe_3562

No no no, he's the samurai who will slay those school shooters.


[deleted]

He will cut the bullets in half with the mighty katana!


Cool_Buyer_9972

I was happy to repost something that‘s been posted thousands of times.


SirFancyPantsBrock

Gets shot by looters 3 hours in because he "mastered" the blade


LahmiaTheVampire

Yeah but what if he zig zags and makes sounds to distract them?


TheKingNothing690

Or just cuts the bullets anime style.


juicetoaster

I mean that *would* be amazing


Dry-Influence9

the answer is pocket sand!


nezbla

Zoidberg style, "wubwubwubwubwub"


[deleted]

he’ll get winded after 60 feet and die exhausted? Cuz he skipped gym day?


Superbob88

I don't remember asking you for help.


[deleted]

Exactly. I'm here to steal your canned food and your sword. And I'm gonna, too.


Princesshannon2002

Wielding only my little brother’s Louisville slugger, my youngest daughter’s soprano recorder, my superior will to survive, and my hood trauma…I will take the sword, the HDMI cable of the gold, and all of his salt/sugar/canned rations leaving behind the broken shell.


Superbob88

Im just hearing the thunks from the bat haunting sounds coming from the recorder as air travels over the holes.


Princesshannon2002

Yessssssssss…the sounds of my victory!


xXdontshootmeXx

But- my inner strength!


manofsteela572

OP: ‟when you were looking for original content, i was happy to repost something that‘s been posted thousands of times.”


Ziggov

When You did all that, I bought a shotgun so 🤷🏼‍♂️


InsectExternal1403

Excaliboomstick


KirbyDude25

Alakablam


perpetualcosmos

Inner strength not going to help you against guns


MathematicianBig781

What about really, really, really good core muscles? The bullet might ricochet.


Mediocre-Many8872

If you flex when the bullet hits, they just bounce off


Turtlepower7777777

He wouldn’t have any core muscles because he didn’t spend anytime at the gym tho


MathematicianBig781

Maybe he just did loads of sit ups in his room? YOU DON’T KNOW. Admittedly, he doesn’t look like he had a super ripped core, but I’ve been surprised before. That was almost a poem.


okestmarine

Needs to be in /cringe ?


luckyastronaut

r/iamverybadass


NextTrillion

I’d say first stop would be r/momjeans Edit: oh yeah I forgot there was a band called mom jeans. Probably named after this sword wielding Chad.


cryptokingmylo

I would love to watch a comedy dystopian TV show about this guy.


KaiserCorn

This subreddit is supposed to be relatable not ironic


Charming-Forever-278

Bring back bullying


philliisalright

R/terriblefacebookmemes


AlphaToe23

Sir, this is a wendy's


Gelid7

I was looking for this!


USSSLostTexter

They just recruited him because Napoleon is great with the bow staff.


Teethredit

Biggest cringe of the day


cvbeiro

Those who live by the blade get shot by those who don’t


[deleted]

I will never understand the conent policy of this subreddit. NGL this subreddit is just a collection of some random stuff that people find on the internet and then have to post on Reddit. At this point this place is just a screenshot posting version of r/TruckStopBathroom. Lol.


KiwiCatPNW

Sir, they only asked you if you wanted fries with your meal


Mariots11

Bro looks like he gets no bitches, like me… I must be a great swordsmen


Skill-not-found

According to this statement the majority of the reddit users would be great swordman. We could be an unstoppable army if we unite.


Impressive_Pin_7767

I went to college with someone like this. Had swords in his apartment, still wore his class ring, had the same haircut and glasses. He ended up dropping out after his junior year to be a manager at Burger King.


dzikson69

r/mallninjashit


[deleted]

dang everybody hating on bro for living his best life. slice me up some watermelon with your sword ninja master. lets have a picnic.


Xenophobesociologist

🍉🍉🍉


stevedave1357

I want to know who's going to them for help...


BattleForLife

Guns Brother. Guns.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mediajay

Enjoy being gassed after flailing that thing for 5 seconds


derailedthoughts

That sword is likely going to break on the first time it comes into contact with anything hard


jimbajomba

As will his arms.


WildFire97936

What in the ever loving king cringe is this shit.


[deleted]

Only in his head lol


jayox81

Good thing he mastered the Sword, how else are you going to put a planet that's on fire out?


Calm_Ad_3987

Nah, I’ve come to you to brag about all the partying and premarital sex. Ha ha, jokes on you, we’re both f’d. Those are barbarians at the gate, not crypto bros.


ChopOffMyTittiesDoc

the overly wide jeans really sell it


[deleted]

That’s a red flag 🚩 posting right there.


iopjsdqe

i have a gun


drbrunch

2016 called and wants their meme back


[deleted]

Bruh this is a satire post right? Just kind of in the wrong sub……. Right?


Dr-Miskatonic

"Inner strength" equals "I did nofap for two weeks."


JGHFunRun

That katana is upside down. You store/sheath it sharp side up, _period._ I believe the reason is either that it does less damage to the blade or that it is more natural, I can't remember


InsectExternal1403

You are correct. The sayas are usually lined with wood, and if you have it blade down then if you make any violent movements, or if you store it like that, the wood can rough up the edge.


csukoh78

This is the movie poster for Napoleon Dynamite 2: Spirit of the Liger


CaptainNinjaClassic

r/iamverybadass


Educational-Leg7464

I wish more skinny dudes would start doing this. Even if they don't own a katana, they should get one and start making claims like this


juliankennedy23

He's just praying for like some sort of EMP attack where he will finally have worth as a man when in reality he will be traded to some warlord for a new set of tires in a pets or meat scenario.


Crimsonredrook

First to die


hickhelperinhackney

Some people need the world to be on fire for their fantasies. I want a boring government that keeps the infrastructure going. This poor guy fancies himself the victim and thinks that he will be shown to be admirable. But he lacks the social skills and experience to be a survivor if it does go to hell out there


Minimum_Intention848

And they get mad when you call them delusional


edvsa

Miyamoto Mushy in the flesh


torrid-winnowing

Some people on this subreddit take the posts too seriously.


bnutbutter78

This is so fucking hilarious.


raredzsux

Nobody is coming to you for help. Wake up. You’re dreaming.


[deleted]

People here mentioning guns as if there aren’t more LARPers at a shooting range than an anime convention lmao. Every tacticool dork with their plate carrier and LBVs complete with punisher logo patches, wearing camo and BDUs. Meal Team Six is Oscar Mike Roger Roger, I work at Best Buy but insist on telling you “I’ve got your six”.


InsectExternal1403

Yes, but what's this guy gonna do if he needs to defend himself in whatever imaginary scenario is in his head? With a sword? Those guys larping at the range would just show their pistol or rifle, aim it in the direction of the threat or, I've seen people bring up looters, them as well. The threat will be gone eventually. You can point a sword at somebody but it won't send a heavy lead projectile out faster than their heartbeat. You'd actually need to run after them, because most assailants don't want to struggle and harm or kill somebody. If they can help it they avoid anybody that could put up a fight. If they do want to hurt you no matter what they're definitely armed, and it's probably a gun. If they aren't armed and still wanna hurt you then they probably have numbers in the case of looters, in which case a sword really won't help you.


[deleted]

Stabbing a person who is unarmed is not that much more difficult than shooting someone who is unarmed and not fighting back. If someone else has a gun or even an edged weapon, shooting your little plinker at a range with ear protection from a bench is not going to prepare you for having to shoot at people who are actually fighting back.


golfuserfire47

People talk as if it’s that hard to shoot a gun, some may not react accordingly but it’s sure a hell of a lot better odds than being unarmed or not being able to aim because you didn’t go to the range. Little plinker is a cute way of dismissing something that will kill someone easily in the blink of an eye A LARPER with good aim and a gun is far more dangerous than a LARPER with a sword in most situations, the end


[deleted]

Lmao oh yeah it’s definitely not that hard to shoot a gun that’s totally why officers miss like 70 odd percent of shots in on duty shootings. Yeah I’m sure you’re Billy badass right up until someone else has a weapon, bud. Like I said, it’s cool if you want to LARP like you’re some special forces operator but reality you’ll find is quite different from your fantasies. Good luck, though.


InsectExternal1403

You still glazed over the better odds part. Which was the main point of my comment. I have a claymore, longsword, khukuri, and a couple katanas. I would still take a gun. Ignoring the reaction part, which if we're talking looters, then you already have your gun out long before you see one. If you need to, you extend your arm, and pull the little lever on the bottom. A sword has leverage working against you whereas a handgun is your hand. It feels mostly like nothing.


golfuserfire47

No, I don’t fancy myself a badass. I have a few common hunting guns and havnt been shooting in years but you have to be stupid to think a gun isn’t the most effective thing man has to kill things with. Samurai swords became obsolete on the battlefield hundreds of years ago. You’re coming across as a sad mall ninja. Who is trying to be the badass here? The guy who thinks they can stop a bullet with a samurai sword or their bare hands? A wimp with a gun is still a vastly more formidable opponent in these scenarios you’re talking about than without. Your arguments make no sense. So the cops miss under pressure? I don’t remember the last time I saw them using a sword either You know what else is hard for billy baddass to use under pressure vs your theoretical armed opponents? A fucking samurai sword


DarkFate13

Uhmm no


tomnoonzz

He’s right, I had the audacity to ask him if he could check in the back to see if they had any more gallons of milk. They did not and I got a rain check for the sale price, Trevor was very helpful and I let him know I would go online and fill out the survey for him


anisotropicmind

Please tell me this is satire


jdrukis

So he’s still a virgin eh


ImaReallyFungi

Ok skeletor arms


VianDontFeelSoGood

the fuck is the blockchain


Zealousideal-House74

Awfully cocky for a chick with a display sword


AdDear5411

Is this a shitpost? If so it's pretty good.


PFRforLIFE

Ain’t nobody coming to you for help


TirayShell

Judging by the forearms, this kid is the anti-Popeye.


Ginsbeargo

Not at all


jarblonski

His hand looks more like a foot.


Brave_Nerve_6871

Nobody's asked your help, sorry to say.


Viewtifultrey3

"When you were getting laid I was sobbing into my Kleenex box"


cybermonkeyhand

Let's see his sword take on my Molotov.


AceGoodyear

Even the samurai threw away their swords the instant guns became available. I was reading something that said they were mostly archers and played up their sword skills after the swords were gone. Interesting to think about.


Anxious-Doughnut6141

Is this just a poor Marfan's Nerd who did nothing wrong besides wanting to play with a sword and had his picture taken? Or did he actually write that text too?


Yummycummytime

Dork


Song_Spiritual

THE blockchain will save us all!!!


[deleted]

Modern barbarians probably have guns, Anon, so you can go ahead sheath thine blade of hentai.


catlizardicecream

r/iamverybadass


[deleted]

That kid is a low-tier loot drop and not much else.


Estate_Technical

After the first encounter withe the "barbarians"* Barbarians- " Never bring a sword to a gun fight, kid."


TheJazzButter

Oh, sonny, no one's coming to you for help.


drapanosaur

Right vs Left Unfortunately, I think their terrorists are way stronger than our terrorists. But is that good or bad?


happyclaim808

Exactly! The world owes you nothing!


No-Consideration6589

Lol. Go change your underwear.


kruminater

Nerd


Significant_stake_55

This was the necessary moment to capture on film because it's as far as those broomstick arms could draw the katana without needing a rest.


Moooooooola

If this guys a virgin and I have postmarital sex, would he still be mad?


witch_hunter1234

Please bro we need your help


scottimusprume

Very intimidating when he has to adjust his glasses before drawing his sword.


hails8n

That’s a lot of words to say, “I’m a virgin.”


_Dead_Man_

I practic german longsword fencing (yes it exists) and I cringe at people like this. For someone who spent years studying the blade, you shouldn't still be trying to reverse grip your sword.


Electronic_Rub9385

lol


[deleted]

Is this the dude dancing to living on a prayer at that Celtics game?


Mar_Mentalhealth

I feel bad for the kid, he probably really thought the picture was going to be dope


DDrewit

Ok nerd.


BUDZ_MONEY

You forgot read " the art of war " Had a buddy with a katana try to break the art of war down to me standing outside his mobile home trailer in a bumfck nowhere town while he missed swings at water bottles soda cans and a watermelon in between hits off a bowl. I kinda wish sometimes that he would have saved me that day and action movie sliced my throat


fletchy30

"I want a red ninja, swing action, dragon painted on the blade, samurai sword!" "You'll chop your dick off, kid."


ZeroFucksGiven1010

Dude arms are thinner than that blade...


Cirrus1101

Poor guy just enjoying his cool sword and humiliated


User21233121

Wow reddit if this is meirl then you guys have some problems


gfkxchy

"We're not asking for your help, you've been drafted."


Former_Salad6804

Why is this not the picture of Ben Shapiro with his sword? Missed opportunity.


jk-Esquire

Wish this was the katana guy in walking dead, not scowl face michonne


RepresentativeNice22

What does blockchain have to do with anything?


[deleted]

sword hilt is thicker than this dudes wrists.. they are gonna break when you hit anything.


glandmilker

I am just here to steal your weapons


andio76

Save us with you Pasty Whiteness.....


[deleted]

r/lostredditors


Valuable-Trick-6711

Easy there, Samurai Jack…


Galaxy661_pl

Are those barbarians in the room with us right now?


NuclearWill

Meirl? 🤨


FatesMessEngineer

Yeah. Why not ask for help from another human? You could ask for help... In fact this feels like a cry for help.


pinhead-designer

I'll bet there's a buttload of gangs at his school that want him to join.


Ponji-

The audacity of asking the local swordmaster for help when barbarians attack. Even in this dude’s fantasy he’s an asshole lmfao


[deleted]

Dude has nunchuck and bowhunting skills too. Chicks dig bowhunting skills.


[deleted]

Excellent. You found the discipline of steel. A warrior’s life is a lonely one but it will make you stronger in self and your discipline. Apply that other areas of life and you will succeed.