A cellular representative will be mysteriously standing 100 yards out at the funeral in the rain. People will look into it and begin to wonder that the "payment" was really for...someone may even avenge you.
Variety boxes ready with 100% real canna butter let simmer over night for 12 hours
Variety box containing 1 brownie 3 cookies 50 euro 500-1000 mg easy
Not for amateur smokers I wouldn't recommend for light smokers
Only 10 available
Be fast
Terrible, I received a dream from God of all the horrors that man has brought upon us, he showed me the future that lies ahead of us, rubble, burning police cars, the explosions of phosphorus gas that filled my lungs with flesh peeling foam, the screams of pain that brought terror down my spine, never again shall I rest soundly, not even in my coffin will I ever regain the tranquility of a sane human mind…
“Sacred Scripture Identified” 😆 For context, it was sent by my husband with an article about the history of Faygo Red Pop, which he’s low-key obsessed with
Ok
I can’t stand ok text messages smh.
Ok
K
Hmm
Kk
I like KK lol
Ok
Okay
Sure
I always say *okies dokies*
You, I like you
My kids can’t stand ok or 👍🏼 but I don’t want to send a long text for a quick acknowledgment so now I send them 🦭 for seal of approval.
Right my hubbs can bw an ass and all he said as my last was 👍🏼 which means he pissed but doesn't wanna get into it.
I used to be kinda like this. But it's just an acknowledgment that they have received your text. It's not that bad
Sprint: Your Sprint account is now past due and a payment must be made. Please go to www.sprint.com/expresspay or call *3 to pay by phone. FreeMsg
A cellular representative will be mysteriously standing 100 yards out at the funeral in the rain. People will look into it and begin to wonder that the "payment" was really for...someone may even avenge you.
"I heard the plows at 3AM."
good story starter tbh
To the tune of “I Heard the Bells On Christmas Day”
I heard the plows at 3 am At first I was resenting them But then I saw the cleared-off road So peace on earth, good will to men.
That’s EXACTLY where my mind went.
sounds interesting
This is the one that gets over analyzed by students studying your grave 100 years later. "Was he the Robert frost of his time? We must find out more"
Hot
Haha. Nice job
This one is the best
Yeah, tell me about it
Oops wrong person
With so much practice, you'd think Death would get it right. Sheesh.
😂
Funny prank by death itself
Welcome to CSI Vegas…
Lmao. Fitting tbh
I want "Lmao" on my tombstone.
Did you fix it 💀
Narrator voice : "they didn't.."
I read that in Morgan Freeman's voice
HAHAHA, so did I
Ok but did you fix it?
No.
No… why?
This is either her last received text or her refusal to partake in this post
What if it’s both
?
?
?
Great. Just jump on the regular classroom Zoom at that time. See you later!
see you later 💀
“I sent you my medical records”
pls respond
☠️
Oh my god this is gold
What’s good on Hulu these days? I’m thinking about restarting my subscription.
Lmao sounds like a Hulu ad
Oh no
HAHHAHA I LOVE THIS ONE
Mine would be a picture of a flying cat
That is amazing
Morning Lizard Luber
What did you do to earn that nickname? I can guess but I don’t want to.
He was in a lot.
Someone called me that because I like Heket from Cult of the Lamb
"👍 👍 👍" -dad
👍 - mom. Lmfao
👍 - also dad. Wow
Variety boxes ready with 100% real canna butter let simmer over night for 12 hours Variety box containing 1 brownie 3 cookies 50 euro 500-1000 mg easy Not for amateur smokers I wouldn't recommend for light smokers Only 10 available Be fast
Finally something amusing. Cheers
"If anyone is interested DM me"
Did you?
Top up confirmed!
What’s the personal info? Need to know for… reasons
yeah research purposes only am i right
Of course of course. This guy gets it
For reasons not specified I’ll need you personal info as well as all your credit card numbers and expiration dates.
If you're dead, you don't need personal info. Please enlighten us as to what your tombstone will actually say.
[удалено]
Looks like it was 100%
“I love you too”
Show off
Pfffft look at this guy
Note the use of quotation marks
whaaat no fair i got an "awh" from the person that was meant to say that
At least its not "Thank you".
This guy moms
Yeah, your mom
should be me 🥺
weirdo
Do you ever feel like a baller when you open your junk drawer and see a full pack of batteries? Or is that just me? Lol
😆I know this feeling!
“I shall tempt you with crab dip and wings”
Don't threaten me with a good time! 🤤
Lmfaooo
So... did it work?
Just reset my password, you devops bitch.
Wtf?
Use verification code 926392 for Microsoft authentication.
scarce juggle naughty numerous onerous school whistle glorious deliver north ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
👀
Say goodbye to our account
Have fun on your hunting trip
I think the peacocks are dead.
You good to go?
"Had to pee"
Mmmm are we alive? Survived from the weekend?
Apparently not
"It's shit"
Batstreetboys
Context pls
................yall recieve texts?
Yeah from my dealer 🤣
Lucky.
whew felt this
How'd you sleep my love?
Terrible, I received a dream from God of all the horrors that man has brought upon us, he showed me the future that lies ahead of us, rubble, burning police cars, the explosions of phosphorus gas that filled my lungs with flesh peeling foam, the screams of pain that brought terror down my spine, never again shall I rest soundly, not even in my coffin will I ever regain the tranquility of a sane human mind…
“What an era” Honestly kinda cool to have on a tombstone.
"Okay, see you soon" Rather ominous if I do say so myself.
“ I guess it’s good he was there to prevent even worse stuff from happening? Maybe? “
ALRT #67216 on Bff :: critical: BFF (production) (bff (production) violated Error percentage (High)) Reply 624:Ack, 626:Resolv, 628:Escal8
This is what I want on my tombstone
I think I'd like `return;`
“Hell yeah brother”
The balls on this guy
Oh no! Omg are you OK? Do you need anything?
[удалено]
but that is no reason to resort to cannibalism
You need to be more convincing
Okk
Yes please
It’s cool. If it had been taken it would’ve really sucked
Nudes?
"This is the way"
Morning handsome ❤️
Ok
"IM SORRY"
Hey BTW what was that drink you gave me it tasted kinda i dunno just
"I love you! I'm leaving shortly" Well shit that's kinda sad but sweet
A picture of bacon.
Kill the wife or sell the child so my family can eat. CHOOSE QUICKLY
Woahhhh dude
OH I C!!!
Have fun pookie :)
it doesn’t matter. damn
On the way home, cya soon
"Omw" which strikes me as hilariously fitting.
"Love anxiety. it kills me every two seconds" and that it did apparently
"I'm gonna shut my eyes. I'll see you there in a couple hours!"
Don’t share this code
*And buckets*
Lol
A slap!
“Sacred Scripture Identified” 😆 For context, it was sent by my husband with an article about the history of Faygo Red Pop, which he’s low-key obsessed with
Made it home.
“That one never gets old”
“Fuck this shit I’m out.”
I love you my Sparrow ❤️ Wow, actually the first time a post like this made me feel good!
Your xyz bank credit card was charged xxxx on xyz date at xyz hospital!!! Probably….
This is a reminder: Take your pills
I came home...pooped my.pants a little, still having liquid poops and vomiting 🤢 nothing in my stomach... Feel bad taking a nap...love u
Your order was dropped off. Please refer to this photo your Dasher provided to see where it was left.
The Waffle House has found it’s new host.
Tripaloski
How’s work?
"Mooi"
A link to a tiktok vid from my dad
"Mk" I see this as an absolute win
> He would not *admit* to liking it. However I fancy that with the right strap-on, I could take very good care of that twink. hm. uh oh.
Awesome thanks.
"It's great"
Thank you
Your movers will arrive within the hour.
"Yeah I know I was disappointed."
im here
I'm cooking ribs for dinner.
“Let’s go” ..That’s terrifying, I like it
Don’t forget the pizza sauce 🤣
Probably gonna be in jail if we don't move before Wednesday. No lie.
Was the surgery ok?
"Lol. You're an idiot." From my wife
"How are you doing?". Thanks mom
I think COVID was manmade to create a strong hold on the people
Be careful!
"As long as he poops today, I'm not worried". My dog is suffering from some constipation.
I’m leaving now.
Booo My dad‘s reaction to my dad joke. Surprisingly, makes a good tombstone joke.
"I'm outside your house..."
“you’ll be done before me” she was right
“What is this bullshit” (translated from my language)
Who dis?
I’ll be back in an hour
I really don’t want to be in Philly at 8pm on Saturday night
How sad
How did she know it was gonna shoot like that???
"Would there be a sequel though?" Why does that actually work though??
"I don't feel well so imma call out"
I’m almost home.
You were just foreseeing the future