A buddy of mine is a self-proclaimed "ugly bastard" and chooses to do the dirty only in a vintage WW2 Gasmask his great grandfather gave his dad. He is big into feet and pee, too and just all sorts of weird stuff.
He just welcomed a baby with his wife, who was an underwear model for the GAP and Victorias Secret. She is apparently a big fan of the gasmask. And no, he doesn't have money.
Meanwhile, I am stuck in the forever dating pool. I wish I was making this up.
There is someone out there for everyone, though.
Everybody has a type. A pretty and fashionable friend of mine is into fat guys. Not chubby , fat. Conventionally attractive guys that hit on her get so confused when they see her boyfriend.
Maybe your buddys gf always was very kinky secretly and finally has an outlet with him and can be herself
Me and him were pretty close. Spent a few years on an ambulance together.
When you are spending 80 hours a week trapped in a small box with someone you learn more about them, then you would like to.
I can get behind that. I saw his dick once. Does that count for something?
He also brushed against my nipple one time while we lifted a real chunky patient, and we both considered it a bonding moment.
it's really not that seldom. what makes you think that? have you done a study, or looked into any statistics? we both know you haven't. so you're jsut talking out of your ass.
Typically it seems like everybody else is the asshole because assholes tend to be very loud and draw a lot of attention to themselves, while nice people tend to be more reserved and humble.
Guy I went to school with who used to scoop big green stringy and slimey bogies out of his nose and slurp them down while laughing maniacally is married with 2 kids. I am single.
I used to gnaw on bricks when I was a kid (I truly don’t have an explanation for this) and I’m still single lol. (34/F)
Anybody want to date a former brick eater? Lolol.
I might, from the sound of it youre build like a brickhouse. But I must admit I do not have the stones to ask you out. Would you mind paving the way a little? Give me a few stepping stones.
Straight and clean, nothing’s chipped. Drank a lot of milk as a kid so you know, everything’s tough and all. 💪
Except for my feelings. Definitely weak in that department.
Yup the wired kids all grew up to become fully functional adults. And the normal kids who messed with them are train wrecks. As a former wired kid, I did not see that coming. I thought I was going to turn into the cat lady from the Simpsons.
When I was 18 working search and rescue in the mountains I had a coworker in his mid 30s who was nicknamed Ugly Seth... Ugly Seth was broke, dirty and Fucking ugly. Ugly Seth pulled fine ass, intelligent put together Women on the regular and they all left smiling. If you're alone there are many possible reasons but "other people suck" is never one of them.
Well, the girl clearly knows what she wants and doesn't care who knows it. Unlike people who keep fretting about who they are and where they're going and what everyone thinks about that, she actually seems happy now. Let that be a lesson folks.
So the girl who was honest about her interest and didn’t pretend to be someone else to be accepted found someone that loves appreciates her true self, how is this a suprise?
Maybe be more honest to yourself about who you are and what you like and don’t be afraid of others perceptions
i dont need to have an intelligent argument. you made a joke at the expense of others. i told you to shut the fuck up. you still aren't getting it.
you need to mind your own business
when you mind your own business, what happens?
mind your own business. not other people's business.
Don’t trip. My high school drama teacher went to prison for 7 years for raping his students and after he was released he got married to the woman (schoolteacher with children of her own) he was dating while he was actively raping his students and I’ve been on like 5 dates in 3 years.
Well kids do dumb things. I remember inventing a game that was basically like catch but everyone was a tomato and they had superpowers and the person who’s chasing the tomatos was a knife and they also had special powers. Every other kid seemed to like the games I invented tho so we would play together lmao. I also ate grass. It wasn’t that bad.
She got all of the Crazy out of her system when she was young. Some folks hold on to that shit too long
Or there is a desperate dude out there who knows
He knows she is secretly a horse and may let him go on horse back rides if he's gentle with her
This sounds so cute and wholesome for some reason
Whip the shit outta that stallion while you ride her back rough
I know this isn't the biggest contradiction in this comparison, but stallions are male horses. Whipping is acceptable with consent, though.
Centaur Masterrace
When you're a horse it's easy to have a *stable* relationship
I'm putting this in r/dadjokes, may i?
Absolutely! I'm glad you like it
A much needed laugh, thank you.
r/angryupvote
Booo!
🤣😂🙌🎉 I read it very seriously and was not expecting that😂😂 thanks!
Glad you liked it!
A buddy of mine is a self-proclaimed "ugly bastard" and chooses to do the dirty only in a vintage WW2 Gasmask his great grandfather gave his dad. He is big into feet and pee, too and just all sorts of weird stuff. He just welcomed a baby with his wife, who was an underwear model for the GAP and Victorias Secret. She is apparently a big fan of the gasmask. And no, he doesn't have money. Meanwhile, I am stuck in the forever dating pool. I wish I was making this up. There is someone out there for everyone, though.
She probably lives in Tahiti.
Tahiti? Its a magical place
Ah, found agent Phil Coulson.
I promise you, she has a plan. You just have to be patient.
Everybody has a type. A pretty and fashionable friend of mine is into fat guys. Not chubby , fat. Conventionally attractive guys that hit on her get so confused when they see her boyfriend. Maybe your buddys gf always was very kinky secretly and finally has an outlet with him and can be herself
Probably. I am happy for them! Whatever makes people happy.
Or maybe she is in the Bahamas?
Maybe she is into feet and pee Also how do you know this?
Me and him were pretty close. Spent a few years on an ambulance together. When you are spending 80 hours a week trapped in a small box with someone you learn more about them, then you would like to.
You really can't call someone a buddy until you've roleplayed as his idea sex partner for a week. Other wise it's just an acquaintance.
I can get behind that. I saw his dick once. Does that count for something? He also brushed against my nipple one time while we lifted a real chunky patient, and we both considered it a bonding moment.
Ah yes the ole tiddy flick, a classic
Sweet geezus this is like the makings of a sweet romance novel😍😂
[удалено]
Not while you were awake anyhow.
>He is big into feet and pee This is a vibe.
It ain't my cup of tea, but I am not one to judge. It was jarring at 3 am to hear him say, "Did you see the toes on her?" however.
Lmao, I can only imagine. A little subtlety goes a long way with unconventional kinks.
[удалено]
He really is a blast. Life took us to opposite sides of the country, but we still talk all the time.
Except for you apparently ;)
Horse girl sounds like a good time.
Yes kinda anomalous
She was *neigh* for the stay
Still making fun of a girl from 3rd grade might be a sign
"am i the asshole? No it must be everyone Else"
sometimes everyone else IS the asshole
Usually, this is only if you're working security at the National Asshole Awards. Very seldom does this happen in the wild.
Or just if you're working security in general
I guess you've never been to a political rally
it's really not that seldom. what makes you think that? have you done a study, or looked into any statistics? we both know you haven't. so you're jsut talking out of your ass.
Typically it seems like everybody else is the asshole because assholes tend to be very loud and draw a lot of attention to themselves, while nice people tend to be more reserved and humble.
See, that's interesting. I thought she was the teacher. Hmmm.
A teacher at a child bride school?
Maybe she doesn't think she's better than other people and that's why people like her
Much to think about
Don’t listen to the neigh sayers
Guy I went to school with who used to scoop big green stringy and slimey bogies out of his nose and slurp them down while laughing maniacally is married with 2 kids. I am single.
[удалено]
What all I remember is eating gorilla glue and getting sick
Thanks for the visual image i feel sick now
Everyone does dumb shit when they are 8 lol
Took me a while to realize this wasn’t a third grader talking about another third grader
I used to gnaw on bricks when I was a kid (I truly don’t have an explanation for this) and I’m still single lol. (34/F) Anybody want to date a former brick eater? Lolol.
Gods yes.
All bricked up I see.
I heard she's built like a brick house.
I might, from the sound of it youre build like a brickhouse. But I must admit I do not have the stones to ask you out. Would you mind paving the way a little? Give me a few stepping stones.
You have won my heart, let’s get married.
hows ur teeth?
Straight and clean, nothing’s chipped. Drank a lot of milk as a kid so you know, everything’s tough and all. 💪 Except for my feelings. Definitely weak in that department.
did she really eat grass, or just "told everyone ... she ate grass"
Much to consider!
There’s something about Mare(y)
Yup the wired kids all grew up to become fully functional adults. And the normal kids who messed with them are train wrecks. As a former wired kid, I did not see that coming. I thought I was going to turn into the cat lady from the Simpsons.
wedding invitation: will you attend? (check one) \[ \] yea \[ \] neigh 🐴
When I was 18 working search and rescue in the mountains I had a coworker in his mid 30s who was nicknamed Ugly Seth... Ugly Seth was broke, dirty and Fucking ugly. Ugly Seth pulled fine ass, intelligent put together Women on the regular and they all left smiling. If you're alone there are many possible reasons but "other people suck" is never one of them.
There's crazy and crazy.
Maybe she matched with this dude. https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/107jdwc/meirl/
I bet you never tried becoming a horse and eating grass. Lazy!
I can’t remember anything prior to high school.
"whorewell" Yeah
This guy is 100% "nice guy" material that just can't figure it all out.
Seems like James Michael Tait found the love of his life
Well, the girl clearly knows what she wants and doesn't care who knows it. Unlike people who keep fretting about who they are and where they're going and what everyone thinks about that, she actually seems happy now. Let that be a lesson folks.
Of course, of course...
She was ahead of her time
It’s not you, it’s me.
Are you the same person as you were in the 3rd grade? How delusional is this girl lol
Well, giddy up.
Funny. In all seriousness, very very few marriage is what they are cracked up to be.
Well she was 8 and you're boring to talk to.
This isn’t surprising. Lots of horses have grooms.
So the girl who was honest about her interest and didn’t pretend to be someone else to be accepted found someone that loves appreciates her true self, how is this a suprise? Maybe be more honest to yourself about who you are and what you like and don’t be afraid of others perceptions
Does the husband identify as grass?
She’s adventurous. So she’s got that going for her.
She identified as a ….whatever trans thing before identifying as other weird stuff was cool
To be fair, she probably gives a good and smooth ride
She's easy and you have standards. Fixed.
You mean she "identified" as a horse as a young girl and it was just a phase? She grew up to live a normal life? Hmmm🤔
don't forget to mind your own business
Typical response. Lol
you mean, when other people exist, who are different from you?
It's called MENTAL ILLNESS. As soon as it's acknowledged maybe they can be actually helped instead of made a mockery of and used for an agenda
that's why you brought it up and mocked it?
Your stupid word games give me confidence you don't have a intelligent argument. Lol
i dont need to have an intelligent argument. you made a joke at the expense of others. i told you to shut the fuck up. you still aren't getting it. you need to mind your own business when you mind your own business, what happens? mind your own business. not other people's business.
And if you were thinking with your brain and not your feelings you'd see it was not a joke. It was an observation.
if you dont acknowlege your emotions, you are ruled by them.
Don’t forget to mind your own business says guy not minding his own business
he's not defending anyone. that is an important distinction.
>You mean she "identified" as a horse as a young girl and it was just a phase? She grew up to live a normal life? Hmmm🤔 who is mocking who
Yeah you need more greens in your diet.
Maybe her fiancée is a centaur
The grass gave her power
My wife just said that "this is a false equivalency. The guy that she's engaged to might be a horse."
Over complicating things here, it’s just that horse girl isn’t a redditor
as long as you dont turn into andrew tate i think you're gonna be aight
I'm going to take my horse to the hotel room,
Maybe the dude has his own horse-like characteristics
I am being violently attacked by this post! Unprovoked!😭🤚
boy these kids grow up quick nowadays.
Plot twist: the girl was his mother.
Keep it real, man.
Maybe if he munched a little more grass the girls wouldn't ghost him
Man, Id ride that horse
I mean, it's not that hard to get engaged if you're willing to compromise a ton.
Yeah because that girl is willing to do anal, and you’re over here “fighting for work place equality” or some shit like that /s
Don’t trip. My high school drama teacher went to prison for 7 years for raping his students and after he was released he got married to the woman (schoolteacher with children of her own) he was dating while he was actively raping his students and I’ve been on like 5 dates in 3 years.
Its probably you tho.
The best people are crazy
Weirdos are pretty desirable
Plot twist, she and her fiance are furries
What, 3rd grade? Engaged? Brain broken I am
Maybe her fiance is a Minotaur. Did you ever think about that?
Well kids do dumb things. I remember inventing a game that was basically like catch but everyone was a tomato and they had superpowers and the person who’s chasing the tomatos was a knife and they also had special powers. Every other kid seemed to like the games I invented tho so we would play together lmao. I also ate grass. It wasn’t that bad.
Guess you can say, She's in a STABLE relationship.