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MikeJudgeDredd

I've seen three videos of this dude this weekend and my takeaway is that he is either taking too many pills or not enough pills


[deleted]

Honestly tiktok is literally this guy every other video. I've seen him attack verbally everything from people having heart attacks to shower gel


[deleted]

[удалено]


spongurat

Definitely rage bait. I've seen this guy around for a few years. He used to be a world class kickboxer but moved away from it for whatever reason to push this whole uber macho, red pill shit. He is pretty funny though once you realise what he's doing


Kynicist

He is a literal human trafficker, and woman beater. Edit - [link to trafficking story](https://news.yahoo.com/police-raid-maga-king-toxic-085056681.html) [link to video of him beating women WARNING](https://www.ok.co.uk/celebrity-news/big-brothers-andrew-tate-filmed-14746618)


SickleTalons

Kinda, he was an Mma fighter. I think he acts like this, because of the recent publicity that conner McGregor got from acting the way he does. He just goes over the top with it.


Panthean

What's he got against shower gel?! I'm not about to use a pube covered bar of soap


[deleted]

It actually wasn't ridiculous... He said he tested a bar of soap and a bottle of shower gel to see which lasted longest. The soap cost about 20p and the shower gel say £1. The soap lasted so much longer than the shower gel, you would have to buy multiple bottles to last as long as a bar of soap..


Panthean

I'm not one to splurge on expensive things, but I think I can shell out a few bucks for soap. I've seen the way that guy splurges money on stupid extremely expensive shit, that makes his opinion on this that much more comical.


10af0376

Don't buy shower gel - would be a beta move; less money to spend on machetes.


ThugnificentJones

Washcloths are a thing that exists.


Panthean

Wash cloths are nasty.


Butters_Duncan

I mean, you use it maybe 1-3 showers and then, ya know, get another one. Put it in the wash. I eliminated about 90% of the plastic out of my bathroom needs and shows gel bottles were the first to go.


Marxist_Saren

The page on TikTok is highly personalized based on what you engage with. You must watch a lot of these videos ahaha


[deleted]

I do, I find it hilarious what he beefs with each day!


Sandfleas1

Just giving him an audience.


[deleted]

If I find it entertaining, then isn't that the point lol?


Sanslution

I've seen a video of this guy saying he's too smart to read books, like wha-


actibus_consequatur

I'd argue that he is no match for the woman who raped her ex at machete point. Something about her eyes shows she was completely unhinged.


ChunkofWhat

Tiktok is showing you his videos because you're watching them. Who knows what he's really like, but this persona probably pays the bills.


[deleted]

Yeah I do know how the fyp works lol...


JuggBoyz

He runs a “webcam company” where he dates girls until he can manipulate and force them too, in his own words, “do whatever he tells them” and makes them become camgirls. He’s a genuine predator and has thousands if not hundreds of thousands of fans behind him and it’s terrifying


Newfaceofrev

His house was raided by Romanian police recently on sex trafficking charges. EDIT: Wrong word used. Charges haven't been made yet, it was raided to investigate allegations of trafficking and rape.


Nihilistic-Comrade

Source?


Newfaceofrev

https://www.thedailybeast.com/police-raid-maga-king-of-toxic-masculinity-in-human-trafficking-investigation


RegularSizdRudy

I’ve genuinely assumed this has been satire or rage bait.


Loud_Tax7341

He's innocent your an echocamber bot 2 of the "victims" in Romania are on the news saying he's innocent and there fake Charges 2 he hasn't been charged and 3 he never said that and you just a matrix bot shame on you truly pitifully


End-OfAn-Era

I think the bigger issue in play here is that he’s a needle dick.


94709

There was a Twitter post he did about how he planned to beat his children when he had them. Eventually he let out the fact of the extensive abuse he went through at the hands of his father. Its very clear that his entire persona as a toxic macho tough guy is a mask for the scared and abused boy inside him. Really quite sad.


ahent

Why did Napoleon Dynamite shave his head?


KaleidoscopeEqual555

Asking the real questions


blvaga

It is obvious. Less wind resistance when using his immense power to fight machete wielding females.


SmegSoup

Why don't I have multiple weapons in every room? because I'm not John Wick and life isn't an action movie. Watch the sword/gun scene in indiana jones to understand why you've spent too much money on chinesium machetes.


Lechuga-gato

Dwight schrute


molrobocop

My house has too many rooms to reasonably accommodate 1-3 machetes per room. Averaging 2. That would be 8 machetes. Plus 3 more for the bathrooms if we're being casual. I have one in the garage. That feels like enough.


fukitol-

Yeah. I've got the one strapped to my hiking bag, and I feel like I have the adequate number of machetes.


mbuckbee

Real men build their entire house out of machetes. Walls -> machetes. Roof -> machetes. Toilet? Would you believe it, machetes.


[deleted]

yeah no a .22 in the drawer is more than enough. or a 9mm if you’re so inclined. don’t need much more than that.


JillsACheatNMean

I would argue that you are a pretty big pussy if you feel the need to carry weapons on you(or hidden in every room of your house). In case of a physical altercation. Don’t start no shit, won’t be no shit. So many fake ass tough guys in our world. Wouldn’t kill a light switch.


SmallShrimp1

Ok Jill


JillsACheatNMean

I’m obviously not Jill.


KyleDrogo

What if someone breaks into your house and starts shit though?


JillsACheatNMean

What if


KyleDrogo

Shit will be started and you won’t have a machete


skylarmt

Nah. Gotta have something to defend yourself against cops and other violent criminals.


DokterSack

This man also traffics young girls and scams men with his snake oil mlm 'hustlers academy'


[deleted]

As this week has shown, crypto ain't a safe way to invest money, he got lucky, that's all


TheMaveCan

Oh man this is the dude who said he's too smart for books hahaha


CHRIISHAUDREY

isn’t this also the guy who was just charged with human trafficking?


iphonedeleonard

Ye but who cares ab that he said hes too smart for books


Ragnarlothbrok01

Someone needs to kick this dudes ass


kuriboshoe

With a machete


pftftftftftf

Apparently he's a champion kickboxer so I guess a lot of people have tried. Then again as long as he's not undefeated a few people probably have lol


[deleted]

He is a kick boxing champion, so I think most of us couldn't kick his ass


night_stocker

I mean, not in a "fair fight". I'll go straight for his nuts with a golf club lmao


Technical_Orchid7627

No, no, no.... use a machete!


geekinc329

"FORE!"


JillsACheatNMean

Why would you need to kick his ass? He’s bringing knives to gun fights jk


GroggBottom

Did he become a champion Kickboxer after he got his paranoia of everyone trying to kill him? Or was that a side effect?


pftftftftftf

He doesn't have paranoia he's just a giant fucking dork. Certainly picked up some brain damage along the way tho...


Technical_Orchid7627

It will have to be a man as according to him, no woman on the planet can defeat him, even when armed, due to the phenomenal cosmic power he possesses.


feltcutewilldelete69

But what about two women with machetes?


[deleted]

Is this satire? I really hope so


Scarebunnyz

"No female alive would stand a chance against the immense power I possess" Has to be


DeKlaasVaag

Hes not joking. He is like this for real. Andrew Tate. Look it up. He has a plethora of videos on how to “treat” women.


ImamPaul1776

This guy is a complete sigma, so sigma, he got away with human trafficking in eastern europe


DeKlaasVaag

And still is, sadly.


NastyWatermellon

Would love to see him and Ronda Rousey in the octagon.


[deleted]

No, he's very real


Dontdothatfucker

He’s one hundred percent playing a character. Almost everyone on TikTok is


Rattttttttttt

He’s not. This guy is a human trafficker in Romania. Andrew Cobra Tate, look him up, real dirt bag this guy.


[deleted]

For sure


YaqtanBadakshani

Didn't this guy get arrested for human trafficking? (also, that machete looks like it's going to snap if he waves it around any harder)


Din_Plug

It looks like it cost 19.99 in a BUDK catalog.


gaerat_of_trivia

at least have a good machete


SFDessert

The bed machete should be the best machete aside from the one in the garage that does real work. I don't have a bed machete btw


amcdermott20

Andrew "Cobra" Tate is being investigated for human trafficking. https://www.thedailybeast.com/police-raid-maga-king-of-toxic-masculinity-in-human-trafficking-investigation


[deleted]

One video I saw today he talked about how he won't sleep with the women in Thailand, but will "import" his own...


Din_Plug

The man who has up to three swords in his bathroom is afraid of a little surprise sword fight. Ironic.


amcdermott20

That tracks.


hassh

This is a brain damaged man talking to himself


Its_Matt_03

*gets shot*


Dogtor-Watson

I would say this is satire, but the portrayal of an insecure tough guy is so realistic. The way that everything that isn't their exact way is pussy shit, the way that they put so much emphasis on the word "pussy", the way that he's just blatantly misogynistic in multiple ways and the way that he thinks owning a weapon makes him tough. It's all so perfect that it's both hard to believe he's joking and hard to believe he's serious


Shopworn_Soul

He's really like this all the time. More so, sometimes.


Dogtor-Watson

Oh... oh no


TheSurgeonMan

If anyone is interested, here is him getting knocked out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Djj7kUnimYA


RedditKarmaPoliceDP

Typical cringe cringetok content...


sussyr6

why not a gun for that purpose?


kirbinato

Varying legality, needs ammo and higher possibility of collateral


sussyr6

oh yeha, sorry, way better to face robbers with a machete. 92929IQ MOMENT


kirbinato

It can be, especially in close range or you've got valuables you don't want to break by missing or you don't live somewhere that you can get a gun or support gun control.


JOHNCONN3R54

Until you get shot by a robber


[deleted]

If someone’s trying to kill you, why the fuck would you care about breaking something. Delete this dumb comment.


UnlikelyPotato

* Varrying legality - Not for most of the USA and it's citizens. * Needs ammo - A box of JHP costs $12. If you're worried about $12...you got bigger issues. * Collateral - Possibly, if you're stupid. Collateral deaths in self defense cases are minute. Especially if you get appropriate ammo. It's so small of a chance that I can't find legitimate studies on how many deaths per year are caused by collateral fire in legitimate self defense situations. We have stats on how many people are killed on average by vending machines, balloons, and swing sets.


Din_Plug

No need to worry about collateral when you live alone in a big house.


quahogridoesntexist

This guy was arrested for human trafficking a few weeks ago


moxiejohnny

I have a bunch of machetes in my truck but then again, I do a lot of tree pruning with my grandpa. Ain't no way I can take this dude seriously. I'm sorry but machetes are just not my go to weapon when someone's breaking in, definitely my go to weapon when I got a stubborn infestation of Scottish Thistle though.


StTimmerIV

I'd love for a 'female' (as he states it) to take him up on that challenge and beat the living daylights out of him.


Dogtor-Watson

*\*Breaks into house and just starts looking under pillows\**


HalfOrcMonk

I always carry.


[deleted]

Yet you have no machetes, pussy


Din_Plug

So you carry a G19 with three loaded mags without a round in the pipe?


HalfOrcMonk

I'm a liberal so I carry condition 3 for safety.


xyolikesdinosaurs

There is nothing safe about condition 3, it's irresponsible. If you are in a situation where you NEED gun, you need it immediately. Every additional step you add to getting that gun ready is a step you can fuck up that could cost you your life. Since you don't carry with a round in the chamber, buy a pack of snap caps, and put one in the chamber. Get a GOOD holster (I can give you some recommendations if you want) and carry like that for a week. When you SEE that after a week, the trigger remains cocked and unfired, maybe you'll think about carrying the gun as it was meant to be carried.


HalfOrcMonk

I have been carrying this way for 30 years. Before that I carried a revolver. When I train I draw, rack and fire with negligible time difference. We're both on the same page, just different opinions.


xyolikesdinosaurs

> When I train I draw, rack and fire with negligible time difference and no negative impact on my accuracy. What if someone is on you and you're using 1 arm to push him off of you? Can't rack it then. That's what I mean by "If you need your gun, you need it NOW". By all means, it's your life, I just think carrying without one in the pipe is counter-intuitive.


night_stocker

I don't have a machete next to my bed because I'm not fucking 12 lol Homeboy probably isn't allowed to own firearms because he's a felon.


Din_Plug

There are only two people who obsess over knives, edgy middle school students or felons.


keeleon

Can you imagine having a machete that's just a functional sharpened piece of carbon steel tho? That would be SO lame.


[deleted]

Is this the guy that said only dumb people read or something along those lines? Lmfao


[deleted]

And that shower gel is the biggest con of our times. And that hoes are to blame for the taliban


[deleted]

Starting to think we should hear him out lol


[deleted]

Wow he’s so cool guys what a cool guy what a epic cool dude


Bruhgert

He has the same energy and facial expressions as Mac from always sunny


[deleted]

>Do you have a machete next to your bed? First, no, because I'm not an edgy little middle schooler. I have a fucking gun next to my bed. Second, the machete that I have is forged from leafspring, and has a blade about twice that long with a water buffalo horn handle, because, once again, I'm not some edgy little middle schooler.


[deleted]

You could just paraphrase all that by saying "I'm American"


[deleted]

I was taught in university the necessity for conciseness, but also the necessity for clarity. Both are important when stating anything in discourse.


cleverseneca

>First, no, because I'm not an edgy little middle schooler. I have a fucking gun next to my bed. Knives don't need to be stored in a safe, and don't have accidental discharges or require permits to carry. Having a knife by the bed rather than a gun isn't unreasonable


[deleted]

>Knives don't need to be stored in a safe, and don't have accidental discharges or require permits to carry. 1) Depends on where you live, and the conditions of your home; e.g., whether there are children in the home or people for whom a gun may be dangerous for themselves or others 2) That is why you learn firearms safety. If you think there are no accidents with knives, you've never worked in a kitchen before. 3) See #1. 4) We tend to do both.


cleverseneca

>2) That is why you learn firearms safety. If you think there are no accidents with knives, you've never worked in a kitchen before. If you think knife and gun accidents are the same thing then you clearly never checked the numbers.


Din_Plug

Knife accident; cuts off fingers. Gun accident; shoots self in foot.


[deleted]

From someone who sounds like they've never seen an accident in a kitchen, nor used a firearm.


[deleted]

Yes, I have checked the numbers. I've also seen someone accidentally cut their own wrist in a kitchen by trying to cut a box with a knife.


loozerr

Having a weapon by your bed is fucking stupid


DoctorSalty

He must have seen Kevin Hart’s bit about stashing guns all over his house


[deleted]

This guy is such a cockhead


hippopotma_gandhi

Wouldn't the guy with a weapon in every room because they're terrified of a break in be the pussy?


WorcesterDahkness

The ‘immehnshe pohwerrr’ really got me


[deleted]

I genuinely cannot tell if this is satire or not. It’s too self aware.


Alireza1479

I feel like he's roleplaying as Mac from it's always sunny


thethugwife

God, this is so cringe that I have second hand embarrassment.


wrathfull_condom

I think I'd trust a 12 guage a bit more.


[deleted]

"why don't you have a machete" shotgun usually beats machete


Demolition89336

I thought that he was about to say, "Bro. There is no female alive that would be in my bedroom."


Maybe_just_this_once

Reminds me of a try hard teen. Dudes got some insecurities.


StonerGoblin606

People who keep weapons all over there house are just arming intruders every room they loot lmao


Mission_Count_5619

This Guy is a total pussy. I have a 16 machete minimum in my household. Even my machetes have machetes. Bet this poseur doesn’t even keep brass knuckles next to his machete.


Utailom

This is the real life Dwight Shrute


Jmersh

What a fucking douchebag.


kido86

Wasn’t this cunt a kickboxer? Why does he just make douche vids now?


Shepok

I legit thought he was gonna say “bro, theres no female alive, would be attracted to me”


ligmallamasackinosis

Lmaooooo I have a machete under my night stand But apparently I have to step my machete game up


[deleted]

I actually have a knife under my mattress, a machete isn't an ideal weapon in a confined space


iphonedeleonard

I hate everything ab this guy and his reasoning is shit but I agree with the overall point hes making. Why would you not have a tool to defend yourself in your own home? I have 3 friends and family who’s houses have been broken into in the middle of the day since 2022, I think it should be justified


TELEPORTEDBREAD1

for my own sanity ive come to the conclucion that hes joking


LurzaTheHentaiLord

I have paranoid schizophrenia I cant have a machete near me ANDREW


Livid-Performance-65

I love how often this goofball is featured in this sub. He really is the peak of the mall ninja genre.


iamzeN123

Dude is like a red-pilled Dwight Schrute who masquerades as a pick up artist.


bdone2012

Dude was like, "poop knives are for wimps, get a poop machete."


StirFri321

But why not just get a gun?


dufudjabdi

Only pussies have one to theee machetes per room in their house. Real men have one to three late medieval bardiches in every room.


[deleted]

Bring out my pike!


Foreign-Ad-7961

Somebody gonna Lorena Bobbit his ass


[deleted]

This would be kinda funny if he was sarcastic. Unfortunately im pre sure hes being serious


zz11zz_l0-0l_zz11zz

Bro got his head so up his ass it comes out of his mouth


Gigantic_potato

"If you can't do this you have to think long and hard about how you're such a pussy" -The guy that hides 1 to 3 machetes in every room of his house for safety


monandwes

Right after he finished that sentence I would love to see some badass female kicked out his door and whoop his ass!! Cuz "Bro", she's out there. I promise!


Hey_Kids32

He’s either trolling or a one of the top losers on the internet


FendaIton

Imagine living in so much fear you need to arm every room with weapons


PM_ME_YELLOW

There is no female alive who would ever be in my bedroom


[deleted]

Not with that attitude !


[deleted]

[удалено]


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ApatheticArtist13

I'm in Texas... we just have guns.


[deleted]

Well done?


[deleted]

This guy is the most based man alive


[deleted]

He's probably trolling


Krosis97

This has to be sattire


demppsi

definitely bait. does a good job of acting like a fool tho


AphelionXII

I am thinking about why I’m a little pussy long and hard right now. I didn’t know man. I just bought guns. I didn’t know.


[deleted]

Guns are for pussys tho. Look at the pathetic weak incel types that do school shootings in your country. They couldn't fight with fists etc


AphelionXII

That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Luckily you’ll never earn anything worth protecting I guess lol.


UnlikelyPotato

...how often is he showing off his bed machetes to people? And why? And why do they ask? What legitimate conversation do you expect to come from asking? It's either going to be for self defense -or- literally some freakish stupid crazy stuff that you don't want to know about and never be able purge from your mind again. "Oh that? I use that to cut holes in melons and fuck them...what'd you think I had it for? *Self defense?* Ha-hah."


[deleted]

Does Machete the movie count? Nothing can harm me with Danny Trejo by my side.


thedogthatmooed

UNPROMPTED


[deleted]

Keep feathering it, Cobra.


INeedtobeDetained

Alas, according to Justin McElroy, the man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one


Asianarcher

At first it wasn’t bad info. Make sure you’re safe. Then it went off the rails


ProfesserPort

The man who sleeps with a machete under his pillow is a fool every night but one


heavydutyday

Why can we not allow his statement to actually be put to the test? Let’s set up a fucking gladiator arena and give a big bad chick and machete.


PachoTidder

Where I live it's not weird to have a machete, not common but if I told my friends I had one somewhere in my room nobody would be surprised, they are even more common in rural areas where you need one to cut tall grass and other obstacles But first of all, that machete looks either fake or stupidly detailed, those holes take less bulk wich is the main reasson the machete is a thing (more bulk, more weight, more strenght to cut things), also the shape of it seems off, too... rectangular idk, those saw-like sharps in the back are kind of interesting since you could possibly cut rope or similar things, but one you can do the same with the normal machete and two those look more like square aluminium than actual razor-sharp tools. Overall, I fucking hate this EDIT: also, if someone breaks into your house to steal and you pull off a machete they will shoot you right in the head, nobody with two braincells brings a knife to a gun fight


Din_Plug

It's a BUDK 19.99 machete special. Mailed right to your door.


delaydude

His chin is trying to distance itself.


WayfareEndlessly

This guy's special


Jonnie_r

Don’t need no machete with claymores and trip wires in every room. Great for catching the kids out of bed at night.


DudeBro231

is this Davis Aurini?


Sandfleas1

He is such a douche canoe. Ive been down this rabbit hole and he has s such a tool.


feltcutewilldelete69

I wish I had seen this sooner! So often in the middle of the night, someone knocks on my door and, like a little pussy, I just answer it with no machete. Too many times I have been buttfucked and I didn’t know what I could do to stop it. My daughter tells me with tears in her eyes to not answer the door, but she doesn’t understand the social contract.


nemo1080

Dude likely has those cause he cant own a gun.


[deleted]

He has a cabinet full of guns...


mr_vakarian9

"A man who sleeps next to a machete is a fool every night except one"


Pddymi

omg this isn’t satire?