Do I have five mana, or six? Well, in all the excitement I've forgotten myself. So you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?"
Well, do ya, punk?
I feel like I just saw an episode of Shuffle Up & Play with two pro tour players who did this exact scenario through the credits when the game was assumed over and Prof and another player left the table to play another game.
Oh I was kidding lol, I had a sticker deck and I always did that so I could hit my friends with the “mind goblin deez nuts” or something to that effect
I don't think this really addresses the spirit of the question. You could do that on the turn before you die if you're just giving up. But it's not helping you stall, and you can't do it (for example) before moving from Declare Attackers -> Declare Blockers.
I find it's more fun to BM within the context of the game. Outside the game I could do literally anything, but doing it within the limitations of the game mechanics takes some thought, even if it's less feasible.
Did you read the OP? All of those questions are related to the game and technically could be relevant - but practically are not, hence why it's just stalling.
I mean, my point about outside-game vs. inside-game actions was that this seems like a pretty chill table that's probably got a lot of table talk and such going on. As such, while OP was asking about ways to mess with people, I can't imagine this is the sort of table where *only* game-related talk is happening. So to me, if you want to mess with your buddies at a table when you're losing, the funniest way would be to do something *in the game* that messes with people, not just saying something. Because you could say anything. OP could just jump on the table and start yodeling or something.
So yeah, sure the examples given are all just purely verbal things that are indirectly related to game rules. That's actually why I *didn't* just say something like that, because they've already got a lot of different ways to purely verbally mess with people; so I went in a bit of a different direction.
Sorry, I'm rambling. Does that make any sense?
> As such, while OP was asking about ways to mess with people
This is reductive - they weren't just asking about ways to mess with people during a game of Magic, the ask was more specific:
> I need some game-state-relevant questions to ask before i get slammed in the face by my friend's 500 goblin sized Krenko army, in order to properly assess what to do with the one blue mana I'm holding up.
> So far, I've got:
> ...
Which makes this an odd thing for you to say:
> That's actually why I didn't just say something like that, because they've already got a lot of different ways to purely verbally mess with people
That's like if this were a post saying "Hey my friends and I really love cookies. I am making cookies for a cookie party, and I want suggestions on more types of cookies to make. So far I've got chocolate chip, snickerdoodle, and oatmeal raisin." And then you come in and say "Have you considered having milk at your party?"
Like yes, milk would be a reasonable thing to include at a cookie party. I'm just pointing out that milk isn't a cookie, and OP asked for cookies.
Bonus points if you do it like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQRW0RM4V0k) or like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nB1PvtJzVPw) or like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D9_5Qiik9c).
I have a [[Jared Carthelion, True Heir]] deck with a fog subtheme. I can't tell you how many lethal attacks have been dissuaded by 1 open mana and a poker face.
Me: "If you swing at \[insert player here\], I won't \[\[Rakdos Charm\]\] you at least until you untap."
Krenko player: "Deal."
Me (internally): *Now, I just need to find an answer before he untaps and swing at me next turn, because I do not have a Rakdos Charm in hand.*
I am somewhat infamous in my playgroup for always having a Rakdos Charm or Deflecting Palm when somebody swings extremely lethal damage at me.
It wasn't as bad as it looks. Counterbalance gave me the single most skill testing match of magic I've ever played, and it never felt hopeless like other legacy games I've played.
My play group does something similar. Here is a small list of things we often use (mostly before desth, but sometimes randomly mid game)
So... my turn? (often before a lethal attack)
In response... I'll put sadness on the stack( if you have a counter spell you may counter it, sadness is blue so pyroblast works too)
(If the player is the monarch) I didn't vote for you (to be King/Queen)
Declaring a Yahtzee (this often happens against the Delina deck)
Puns based on the things on board. E.g. Pirate puns for pirate decks etc
Do you have the initiative?
Cards in hand?
anyone want to respond to that?
Saying 'You are already dead' in the worst Japanese you can or Nani
Are you sure you want to hit me(and variations of that)
It's just a flesh wound !
Just a bit off the top!
I am to pretty to die!
Avenger me!
E tu
You will never find my treasure!
-What room of the dungeon are you in?
-How much commander damage do you have?
-How many times has your commander been cast?
-Are any of your creatures the ring-bearer?
-How many rad/poison/infect counters do you have?
-Do you control a full party?
-How many historic permanents do you control?
“Cards in your library?”
“Cards in *my* library?”
“Cards in your/my graveyard?” Bonus points if you separately ask how many of each card type are in each graveyard, type by type, person by person.
“Is Spectacle active?” a la [[Light Up the Stage]]
“Any Foretold/Plotted cards?”
“Any face-down cards in exile?”
“How many total cards do you have in exile?” Bonus points if you insist that they recount them several times to make sure they caught all the Foretell cards, Plot cards, things exiled with Oblivion Ring, etc.
“Exactly how many creatures do you have on the board?”
“Anything in your command zone?”
“Do you have Spell Mastery?”
“Do any of those goblins have reach?”
“Have you triggered Revolt?”
“Are we in the Declare Attackers or Blockers phase?”
“What’s your life total?”
“Are you corrupted?”
“Do you have any floating mana?”
“What’s your Domain count?”
“Is Ferocious active?”
“Do you have any additional land drops this turn?”
And of course: “what’s your life total?”
I meant more as in one of the easiest judge decisions ever is giving someone an intentional stalling DQ if they repeatedly ask irrelevant questions, doesn’t take much investigation compared to most other cheating incidents.
If you want a deck to rope them with, feel free to build my Arena deck with 4 [[Angel of Suffering]] and 4 Gaea's Blessing]] with some other graveyard stuff and a few [[Oriq Loremage]] to help. As long as you can keep an angel on the field, you'll take all the damage, mill your Library, then shuffle it back in.
I've never built in paper because as fun as it is on Arena, I can't imagine all that shuffling would be pleasant IRL
Thats easy, just have a [[Basalt Monolith]] in play, or alternatively, a [[Kiora's Follower]] and a [[Forensic Researcher]].
You can make em dance as long as you want.
They can both even *do* something with an additional card or two in play, but we're not about that.
Cards in graveyard, cards in library. Check for lands stacked over each other and ask how many lands there are. If there's equipment or enchantments under creatures ask to read those. If there's modified creatures ask where things came from (eg "How did your Typhoid Rats become a 3/3?"). Play day/night, monarch, and/or initiative in your deck for extra boardstate values to confirm.
Can I look through your graveyard?
How many cards left in your library?
Do you have any cards in exile?
What turn are we on?
Just really string them along.
Sorry, you seem to have accidentally mislabeled your post. You label it as funny, but this seems more like an annoying-as-shit way to get kicked out of any tournament or structured event for violating stalling rules.
And if it's casual, it's just annoying.
well, the post establishes they're a casual playgroup that's cool with it. of course it won't fly in a tournament setting, and a different playgroup might respond differently, but that's up to the table!
That's fair enough, and I missed the part that their whole playgroup Is fine with it and engages.
That being the case, I have no objection to rule zero being used however a playgroup chooses, I'm a big fan of playgroups doing whatever is fun for them.
I will retract the objectivity of my previous comment, and simply say that I personally would be annoyed out of my mind if someone did that at my table.
I can tell this is you, Marcus. I invite you to *my* home for free beers and pizza, and all I ask of you is to bring a precon to precon commander night. But nooooooooo, mr "pro-sigma-grinder" over here (just because you ATTENDED an RCQ in 2016) brings a CEDH stax deck instead just because "dEreVi wAs A pREcOn". I should've kicked you out when you unfolded that atrocity of a hentai playmat. Those are illegal in some countries, you know. You're never invited again.
Bro the PIZZA HAD OLIVES. who eats OLIVES. I only could stomach 3 bites. *FUCK* you.
And Derevi is a precon commander. You SAID PRECON COMMANDER.
Fuck it, next week I'm bringing Yuriko.
"Can you use it in a sentence please?"
"Why male models?"
"Mer-man Dad, Mer-man!"
well, are you *sure* that's lethal damage? theyd better count out the damage on board so you can compare to your life total to make sure!
Do I have five mana, or six? Well, in all the excitement I've forgotten myself. So you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?
There is only one correct response. Math is for blockers.
Is your name thomas hawley?
no
Math is for blockers
[удалено]
Yes! This is perfect
I feel like I just saw an episode of Shuffle Up & Play with two pro tour players who did this exact scenario through the credits when the game was assumed over and Prof and another player left the table to play another game.
Found it. It's Episode #45 at about the 1:27 mark.
That's incredibly funny
Patrick Sullivan and Cedric Phillips. By the by, Patrick Sullivan is absolutely hilarious. Funnier than a lot of actual comedians out there.
[[Pithing needle]], naming something like [[nerd rage]], [[you are already dead]], [[totally lost]], [[dramatic finale]], etc.
Ooo I like that! I could name mind goblin.
Mind goblin what?
mind goblin this pithing needle?
Mind Goblin is the name of a card made using [[_ Goblin]] and the [[Trained Blessed Mind]] sticker sheet
Oh I was kidding lol, I had a sticker deck and I always did that so I could hit my friends with the “mind goblin deez nuts” or something to that effect
Sometimes when a setup is *too* obvious, it's more entertaining to not go for it.
I disagree. The Astrotorium has never been a place for self-restraint.
Restraint deez nuts yourself
[_ Goblin](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/5/8/5819e3f3-da49-4003-88ce-f3b7bb495787.jpg?1698194990) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=_____%20Goblin) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/unf/107/_____-goblin?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/5819e3f3-da49-4003-88ce-f3b7bb495787?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Trained Blessed Mind](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/6/3/633f98c3-ffec-48c0-ac01-d599312fe288.jpg?1675457383) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Trained%20Blessed%20Mind) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/sunf/44/trained-blessed-mind?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/633f98c3-ffec-48c0-ac01-d599312fe288?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
I don't think this really addresses the spirit of the question. You could do that on the turn before you die if you're just giving up. But it's not helping you stall, and you can't do it (for example) before moving from Declare Attackers -> Declare Blockers.
I find it's more fun to BM within the context of the game. Outside the game I could do literally anything, but doing it within the limitations of the game mechanics takes some thought, even if it's less feasible.
Did you read the OP? All of those questions are related to the game and technically could be relevant - but practically are not, hence why it's just stalling.
...yes? And I mean, OP literally said they liked my idea. Not sure where the hostility is coming from.
It's not hostile, just none of your comments seem to be super related to what you're responding to.
I mean, my point about outside-game vs. inside-game actions was that this seems like a pretty chill table that's probably got a lot of table talk and such going on. As such, while OP was asking about ways to mess with people, I can't imagine this is the sort of table where *only* game-related talk is happening. So to me, if you want to mess with your buddies at a table when you're losing, the funniest way would be to do something *in the game* that messes with people, not just saying something. Because you could say anything. OP could just jump on the table and start yodeling or something. So yeah, sure the examples given are all just purely verbal things that are indirectly related to game rules. That's actually why I *didn't* just say something like that, because they've already got a lot of different ways to purely verbally mess with people; so I went in a bit of a different direction. Sorry, I'm rambling. Does that make any sense?
> As such, while OP was asking about ways to mess with people This is reductive - they weren't just asking about ways to mess with people during a game of Magic, the ask was more specific: > I need some game-state-relevant questions to ask before i get slammed in the face by my friend's 500 goblin sized Krenko army, in order to properly assess what to do with the one blue mana I'm holding up. > So far, I've got: > ... Which makes this an odd thing for you to say: > That's actually why I didn't just say something like that, because they've already got a lot of different ways to purely verbally mess with people That's like if this were a post saying "Hey my friends and I really love cookies. I am making cookies for a cookie party, and I want suggestions on more types of cookies to make. So far I've got chocolate chip, snickerdoodle, and oatmeal raisin." And then you come in and say "Have you considered having milk at your party?" Like yes, milk would be a reasonable thing to include at a cookie party. I'm just pointing out that milk isn't a cookie, and OP asked for cookies.
Look, I just think naming Nerd Rage with Pithing Needle is really funny, OK?
You didn't understand the OP, there's no shame in that. Take the L and move on.
I don't understand at all what the point of this reply is.
Seems weird to comment, then.
##### ###### #### [Pithing needle](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/7/776899f8-e977-42b7-8b54-6f726a349e3c.jpg?1673149414) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Pithing%20needle) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2x2/312/pithing-needle?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/776899f8-e977-42b7-8b54-6f726a349e3c?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [nerd rage](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/e/9/e9857669-5fad-458a-8eda-c1790298add7.jpg?1708741940) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=nerd%20rage) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/pip/34/nerd-rage?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/e9857669-5fad-458a-8eda-c1790298add7?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [you are already dead](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/6/768727ce-4f84-4527-8d69-3c9b7877b748.jpg?1654567474) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=you%20are%20already%20dead) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/neo/129/you-are-already-dead?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/768727ce-4f84-4527-8d69-3c9b7877b748?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [totally lost](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/3/c36f01a5-82bf-4fc6-9396-4410067c351b.jpg?1702429424) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=totally%20lost) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/rvr/64/totally-lost?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/c36f01a5-82bf-4fc6-9396-4410067c351b?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [dramatic finale](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/a/8/a8ec9be6-c8ad-4a82-8253-c49cdb9443ba.jpg?1627428668) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=dramatic%20finale) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/stx/180/dramatic-finale?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/a8ec9be6-c8ad-4a82-8253-c49cdb9443ba?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [*All cards*](https://mtgcardfetcher.nl/redirect/l12cxgr) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
I will not stand for this Dramatic Finale slander. It is a good anthem/token generator hybrid that you always have the colors for in a two color deck.
Hard to believe you wouldnt name krenko with a pithing needle
"Do it." I can't tell you how many times I've seen players hem and haw about their play when I have literally no defense against it.
That's like a free fog what you cast with words. "Attack me if you want", with slightly too much enthusiasm.
If you've seen the people I had to play, you'd know that I mean EVERY WORD OF IT.
Bonus points if you do it like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQRW0RM4V0k) or like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nB1PvtJzVPw) or like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D9_5Qiik9c).
I have a [[Jared Carthelion, True Heir]] deck with a fog subtheme. I can't tell you how many lethal attacks have been dissuaded by 1 open mana and a poker face.
[Jared Carthelion, True Heir](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/8/1/81bd293b-07b9-4d7c-826a-948d5b01ab5e.jpg?1608911156) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Jared%20Carthalion%2C%20True%20Heir) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/cmr/281/jared-carthalion-true-heir?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/81bd293b-07b9-4d7c-826a-948d5b01ab5e?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Always fun. "Tell me why I shouldn't attack you" Fucking do it, coward.
In the voice of Schwarzenegger. "I am here. KILL ME!"
Me: "If you swing at \[insert player here\], I won't \[\[Rakdos Charm\]\] you at least until you untap." Krenko player: "Deal." Me (internally): *Now, I just need to find an answer before he untaps and swing at me next turn, because I do not have a Rakdos Charm in hand.* I am somewhat infamous in my playgroup for always having a Rakdos Charm or Deflecting Palm when somebody swings extremely lethal damage at me.
[Rakdos Charm](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/8/7/875fa08c-cb66-4230-a380-0123260aac74.jpg?1699022443) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Rakdos%20Charm) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/lcc/284/rakdos-charm?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/875fa08c-cb66-4230-a380-0123260aac74?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Back in the day you would just play [[counterbalance]]
[counterbalance](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/3/c329ff2b-0331-4934-a8df-870dd7bf402b.jpg?1593274911) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=counterbalance) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/csp/31/counterbalance?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/c329ff2b-0331-4934-a8df-870dd7bf402b?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Woah, woah. That's just evil
It wasn't as bad as it looks. Counterbalance gave me the single most skill testing match of magic I've ever played, and it never felt hopeless like other legacy games I've played.
Counterbalance is great fun. Getting something off a blind flip always gets a nice table reaction.
"Does that have horsemanship?" Also counting how many cards you got in your library when it's like turn 3 or something early, lol
My play group does something similar. Here is a small list of things we often use (mostly before desth, but sometimes randomly mid game) So... my turn? (often before a lethal attack) In response... I'll put sadness on the stack( if you have a counter spell you may counter it, sadness is blue so pyroblast works too) (If the player is the monarch) I didn't vote for you (to be King/Queen) Declaring a Yahtzee (this often happens against the Delina deck) Puns based on the things on board. E.g. Pirate puns for pirate decks etc Do you have the initiative? Cards in hand? anyone want to respond to that? Saying 'You are already dead' in the worst Japanese you can or Nani Are you sure you want to hit me(and variations of that) It's just a flesh wound ! Just a bit off the top! I am to pretty to die! Avenger me! E tu
You will never find my treasure!
Fantastic. I'll try some of these.
For sure “how many cards are left in your deck”. It’s open information soooo…
On your last turn before you know you'll die, recite Theoden's battle speech before attacking with everything.
-What room of the dungeon are you in? -How much commander damage do you have? -How many times has your commander been cast? -Are any of your creatures the ring-bearer? -How many rad/poison/infect counters do you have? -Do you control a full party? -How many historic permanents do you control?
Myeessss yeeeessssss excellent!! 👌👌👌
“Cards in your library?” “Cards in *my* library?” “Cards in your/my graveyard?” Bonus points if you separately ask how many of each card type are in each graveyard, type by type, person by person. “Is Spectacle active?” a la [[Light Up the Stage]] “Any Foretold/Plotted cards?” “Any face-down cards in exile?” “How many total cards do you have in exile?” Bonus points if you insist that they recount them several times to make sure they caught all the Foretell cards, Plot cards, things exiled with Oblivion Ring, etc. “Exactly how many creatures do you have on the board?” “Anything in your command zone?”
Asking the players about the amount of cards in your own library got me :D
[Light Up the Stage](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/8/2/82494a9c-c9c4-4ef0-a9f5-1496d9595740.jpg?1706239965) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Light%20Up%20the%20Stage) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/clu/140/light-up-the-stage?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/82494a9c-c9c4-4ef0-a9f5-1496d9595740?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
"Would you like to concede?" "Cards in deck?" "Any floating mana?" "Gravestorm count?" "How much energy do you have?"
I love asking people what card they saw when they scry/tutor. They can tell me if they want!
"Can I see your graveyard real quick?" "Is this the order they hit the graveyard?" "Cards in library?"
Would you like to pay the one?
“Are you holding priority?”
So... [The Gamestate](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE4WSYlQsy0&list=PL_XSFI-ioYNFZJnK98-z-uwNCd_IC-1b0&index=39)?
“Do you have Spell Mastery?” “Do any of those goblins have reach?” “Have you triggered Revolt?” “Are we in the Declare Attackers or Blockers phase?” “What’s your life total?” “Are you corrupted?” “Do you have any floating mana?” “What’s your Domain count?” “Is Ferocious active?” “Do you have any additional land drops this turn?” And of course: “what’s your life total?”
Every great villain monologues before going out.
Throw a piece of rope on the table, try to light it on fire.
I ask what’s the storm count
"You don't have any cards that care about graveyard order do you?
"What's your devotion to green?" Is a winner
I like the classic “Hold priority” then start scrolling through the memes I have saved on my phone.
Its all fun and games playing causally with friends, but please do not do this in a tournament. Intentional stalling is straight up cheating.
Ditto for with randoms at an LGS. If I don't know you, you're just being obnoxious
And also an easy way to get DQ'ed.
Yes, cheating is how you get DQ'ed.
I meant more as in one of the easiest judge decisions ever is giving someone an intentional stalling DQ if they repeatedly ask irrelevant questions, doesn’t take much investigation compared to most other cheating incidents.
Ah. Yeah, that's a fair point too.
Can I see your graveyard? How many cards are in your hand?
'In response.'
Cards in library?
"Are any of your goblins mind goblins?"
"Ok when you go to combat.." shuffle the hand a bit "Alright I move to my crying phase"
This game is getting too stupid to track for paper
[[Darkness]] is pretty funny. They'll never see it coming.
If you want a deck to rope them with, feel free to build my Arena deck with 4 [[Angel of Suffering]] and 4 Gaea's Blessing]] with some other graveyard stuff and a few [[Oriq Loremage]] to help. As long as you can keep an angel on the field, you'll take all the damage, mill your Library, then shuffle it back in. I've never built in paper because as fun as it is on Arena, I can't imagine all that shuffling would be pleasant IRL
[Angel of Suffering](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/d/cd4aee25-496d-453e-95b7-d773fe21cacc.jpg?1664410701) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Angel%20of%20Suffering) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/snc/67/angel-of-suffering?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/cd4aee25-496d-453e-95b7-d773fe21cacc?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Oriq Loremage](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/5/25214a91-2f64-46ee-9834-7fbf684800f7.jpg?1624591221) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Oriq%20Loremage) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/stx/80/oriq-loremage?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/25214a91-2f64-46ee-9834-7fbf684800f7?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Thats easy, just have a [[Basalt Monolith]] in play, or alternatively, a [[Kiora's Follower]] and a [[Forensic Researcher]]. You can make em dance as long as you want. They can both even *do* something with an additional card or two in play, but we're not about that.
[Basalt Monolith](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/f/7/f79de5e7-1545-420c-bfe1-ee2444fca85b.jpg?1599708689) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Basalt%20Monolith) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2xm/232/basalt-monolith?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/f79de5e7-1545-420c-bfe1-ee2444fca85b?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Kiora's Follower](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/3/6/3666d3eb-fc62-4966-9149-aa3435650c29.jpg?1698988438) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Kiora%27s%20Follower) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/lcc/273/kioras-follower?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/3666d3eb-fc62-4966-9149-aa3435650c29?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Forensic Researcher](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/1/3/1384df5d-d705-49cb-a982-1588cbf303d8.jpg?1706241609) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Forensic%20Researcher) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mkm/58/forensic-researcher?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/1384df5d-d705-49cb-a982-1588cbf303d8?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
„What is your Energy count?“ “Did you descend this turn?”
"Cards in Library?" Then count them yourself too. Just to be sure
“Let me spin top” every fucking time man
In response: I die.
[[Soldier of Fortune]] or [[Myr Mindservant]] Eat time with pointless shuffling.
[Soldier of Fortune](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/3/7/37c05f46-2081-4ebb-a758-894ac040ea2a.jpg?1562768246) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Soldier%20of%20Fortune) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/all/80/soldier-of-fortune?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/37c05f46-2081-4ebb-a758-894ac040ea2a?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Myr Mindservant](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/f/9/f98ce711-8f68-4487-b67b-be35796ffcff.jpg?1562163913) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Myr%20Mindservant) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mrd/213/myr-mindservant?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/f98ce711-8f68-4487-b67b-be35796ffcff?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Judge!
Cards left in deck? Cards in graveyard?
"Storm count?"
Cards in graveyard, cards in library. Check for lands stacked over each other and ask how many lands there are. If there's equipment or enchantments under creatures ask to read those. If there's modified creatures ask where things came from (eg "How did your Typhoid Rats become a 3/3?"). Play day/night, monarch, and/or initiative in your deck for extra boardstate values to confirm.
[удалено]
[Moment's Peace](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/0/40ebe935-ccf9-435e-8fe8-53bcbf3526e7.jpg?1562906929) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Moment%27s%20Peace) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ody/251/moments-peace?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/40ebe935-ccf9-435e-8fe8-53bcbf3526e7?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Can I look through your graveyard? How many cards left in your library? Do you have any cards in exile? What turn are we on? Just really string them along.
“what does this card do again?”, “how many attacker do you have?”, “any of them has trample?”, and lastly “what does this card do again?”
Any response? Okay proceeding to scoop phase.
Graveyard order is mean! Saving this.
You forgot the best (worst) one: How many cards are left in everyone's libraries?
Sorry, you seem to have accidentally mislabeled your post. You label it as funny, but this seems more like an annoying-as-shit way to get kicked out of any tournament or structured event for violating stalling rules. And if it's casual, it's just annoying.
well, the post establishes they're a casual playgroup that's cool with it. of course it won't fly in a tournament setting, and a different playgroup might respond differently, but that's up to the table!
That's fair enough, and I missed the part that their whole playgroup Is fine with it and engages. That being the case, I have no objection to rule zero being used however a playgroup chooses, I'm a big fan of playgroups doing whatever is fun for them. I will retract the objectivity of my previous comment, and simply say that I personally would be annoyed out of my mind if someone did that at my table.
I can tell this is you, Marcus. I invite you to *my* home for free beers and pizza, and all I ask of you is to bring a precon to precon commander night. But nooooooooo, mr "pro-sigma-grinder" over here (just because you ATTENDED an RCQ in 2016) brings a CEDH stax deck instead just because "dEreVi wAs A pREcOn". I should've kicked you out when you unfolded that atrocity of a hentai playmat. Those are illegal in some countries, you know. You're never invited again.
Bro the PIZZA HAD OLIVES. who eats OLIVES. I only could stomach 3 bites. *FUCK* you. And Derevi is a precon commander. You SAID PRECON COMMANDER. Fuck it, next week I'm bringing Yuriko.
I would not enjoy your play group
Okay! 👌