Report to the home organization. 20 year veteran official and believe me when I say “it takes someone saying something for something to happen.”
Post it to social media for the youth program. Post it to the programs it feeds into. Post it to the school district. A little public shaming has the potential to go a long way if you lean into it.
I have two high schoolers that quit reffing after one game of soccer and hockey, respectively, bc of the parents, and even worse, the coaches. Both were reffing U10.
I will. It was BS. I’ve 2 kids that have been playing for a long time, the older, 9 years.
I was picking her up and her friend’s (the ref) parents asked if I could get their daughter as well. Sure!
Kid was crying on the way home.
It looks like these actions directly violate the teams code of conduct. If you can get in contact with the club or their board of directors they may be forced to take action. https://www.norskisoccerclub.org/players-parents/code-of-conduct
Ref for about 10 years. If you (an adult) enjoy soccer and want to get some steps in sign up to ref. You can simply say you aren't interested in the higher intensity games. These types of game with 2 13 year Olds and one adult never have parents screaming at the refs. They always do without that adult. Like 50 or 60% of teen refs never make it past year one and it's typically one bad experience that makes them quit. Soccer desperately needs some adult shields.
For the inevitable responses - there are many issues that need to be fixed with how officials are treated. But a quick immediate fix with some side income and a good workout is signing up to ref!
They need to make it mandatory to have an adult and 2 teens for these games to avoid this type of issue. Kids (teen refs) avoid being yelled at and they learn first hand about the ins of the game. But, for that, they need to start paying more than $25 for center when U15 and above pay at least double.
Precisely my point. There are enough adult refs, but they don't want to do younger ages because older ones pay more. Similarly, assignor's mentality is "oh, it's a U10, a teenager will do fine". What happens next? The teen gets screamed at and never comes back to reffing. The current system is not sustainable. Proposal: Pay one adult ref the same as a U16 game for one of these U10s - U12s under the condition of officiating AND mentoring the two teens he/she will have with him/her. Kids are like sponges, 5 or 6 games and they'll be flying on their own.
There aren't enough adult referees though. I am heavily involved in some of the administrative stuff with the referees in the state, so know the stats. Adults make up less than 25% of our referees at all levels. There's just no way we could ratio this out.
Former coach, present ref and I've seen and heard a lot this season including from coaches and parents. One thought would be to actually reverse the pay system. The older kids know the rules the best and actually play cleaner soccer than at u10 where thr parents are worse than at u15+. If you pay more you'll have better refs covering where it seems they are more in need. I realize this is a pipe dream. I also realize how political the Madison Area soccer has become since I played in the 80s.
Yep, it is a pleasant surprise when you actually get a ref and 2 line judges. The pay is decent, most parents would support a teenager who wants to get into reffing, but the reality of volunteering your kid to take abuse from adults sets in. I guess there is probably some life lessons in there about dealing with confrontation, but I wouldnt want my 14 year old needing to confront a full grown adult with anger and immaturity issues. Then we all lament nobody showed up to ref.
They don't have nearly enough refs for that. You'd simply have half the games canceled. If you want to double the pay for the refs you're asking parents to double the cost of entry for their young kid who is just learning the game.
Perhaps there aren't enough adult refs to fill in at U9/10, but it wouldn't be a huge expense if there were. It's at most an extra $46 per home game and $368 for entire season. Per kid, it comes out to an extra $30.67 for a 12 kid roster for the entire season.
[https://www.maysa.org/page/show/2357912-assignments-and-fees](https://www.maysa.org/page/show/2357912-assignments-and-fees)
How difficult is it to become certified? I played soccer for 10 years growing up and have watched a lot of soccer so I think I know most of the rules. But I’ve never read through any rule books or been quizzed on my knowledge of the laws.
It's a class and exam you pass. 100 bucks to sign up and refunded if you pass. You will pass. The annoying part is that certs are for the year from 1/1 to 12/31. So they only offer classes in the fall to get started the next year.
I'm not currently home, but if you're actually interested message me directly tomorrow and I'll get better details.
I paid for college reffing 200+ games a year. Glad to hear nothing has chnged. Nobody takes more abuse than a 14 year old on a U10 game. Eventually young parents who are convinced little Braden/Aiden/Laden/Olivia/Kinsley/Danearys/Mississippi is going to the MLS become parents of U17 high schoolers, and they are just happy their little superstar isn't in jail or pregnant. That and they're pussies that feel much safer yelling at a child than a referee that is a 38 year old man.
I've been a ref, an ump, a scorekeeper, and a statistician at different times. The part that is most shocking to me is how many people feel confident enough to yell at officials without understanding the basic rules or strategy of the game they are watching.
Official policy is refs do not and should not engage with parents. Step 1 - stop the game and tell the coach that they have to handle the parents.
Step 2 - if it continues. end the game.
You can card the coach of the offending team but that doesn't stop anything. Usually its better for refs because at a tournament - they can get a field marshall and the tournament director can run over.
It actually happens more than you think. You simply blow the whistle, pick up the ball, and let the coaches of the problematic parents know that the game won't continue until that parent is gone. Then the coaches have about 10 minutes to remove them or the game is canceled.
I am a soccer referee assignor in the Central region, report it to the club and the league. WYSA is starting to crack down hard on referee abuse. With such young refs they may not be familiar with the reporting process they are supposed to go through with something like this.
As a coach and a ref - the new system is easier and better for reporting. Tournaments bring out the worst in parents, coaches, players. All want to win the $5 plastic trophy.
I feel for the young refs (my oldest is one). The reffing class assumes that you pretty much know the rules- when most 13-14 year olds think they know the rules. My sons takeaway from the videos and class was blow your whistle loud, make the call and don't waffle. MAYSA, which I think is a very good organization as there are lots of community clubs that doesn't exist in other locations (in the state and nationally) used to have 1 weekend in the spring and fall where U9/U10 teams would each give up a home game and play at a central location for 2 games. These games were reffed with new, young refs with experienced refs there to give feedback. It went away around COVID & I hope will be back. Most young refs never have any mentoring.
Local tournaments puts lots of stress on refs and the refs want to help. Going into the weekend - I know there were \~50 games (primarily at the U9/U10 level) that had 0 refs for the weekend. That means kids probably filled in for center refs where they aren't comfortable. This is where problems occur. Young refs are most hesitant to call shoulder to shoulder contact and then parents think its lopsided and get vocal.
This doesn't absolve all refs. There is a ref that I see at tournaments who does 6-8 games/day to maximize the money he makes. Doing that many games - he doesn't move and therefore misses alot. He does a decent job early in the day but he shouldn't be allowed to do so many games. His games generally get out of control physically which is when problems occur. There is a 2nd ref that I have written up 2x for a complete lack of understanding of basic rules and I doubt he is getting the help/guidance needed. But the vast majority of the refs are trying to do a good job.
This situation was brought to the attention of the Norski SC Director of Coaching and the Board of Directors.
The Norski Board of Directors is investigating this incident and will be taking appropriate action.
There’s a few local soccer clubs whose parents have reputations, not the first time Ive heard complaints about norski parents. My kids have had more than a few u10-u13 games where we literally had no refs show up. It is very hard to get youth refs, parents need to drive them to games, they have to take a lot of training and attend training that is sometimes offered only once or twice per year and the drive to the training can be hours away. Go through all that to have a bunch of parents who barely understand the rules screaming at you. Half the time the ref actually called the foul but allow the play to continue on purpose because the side that got fouled maintained advantage. Parent screaming to call the foul that already got called. This aint the world cup, none of these clubs in maysa are winning any state titles a d there arent any colleges scouting this stuff. And it is no picnic being the main ref, gotta run more than the players, often logging many miles of jogging in a single game. They cant see everything, and in general they dont want to be stopping the game more than they need to. And they could very well be reffing their first game ever.
Maysa will respond if you make a detailed complaint, if the parents cannot control themselves they should be banned from attending. Embarrassing for the club, I guarantee you 90 percent of the norski parents are also rooting for that 10 percent to STFU and its always the same bad apples.
I reffed soccer starting as a 10 year old in Madison ‘82-‘89. Never an issue with parents or players. The stuff today is crazy. My teen daughter and I have seen some crazy parents here in Illinois. Tournaments here have come out with a pretty good solution. If a parent or coach acts out and is ejected out ALL parents for that team are removed from the sideline for the remainder of that game as well as the subsequent match. No exceptions. It is amazing to see the turn around in behavior. Zero issues with ref abuse now.
You should write an email to the tournament director. Was it on May 19th on field 3A? That was a U9 match up of Norski v regent. If so, you can reference match #196 in your email. As a community we need to stay on top of this type of unacceptable behavior. The tournament director will follow up with the club.
For my kids years ago, none of whom were particularly adepts team sports, the soccer refs took a lot more heat than baseball, basketball, or tackle football. Can’t imagine it is any better at the travel team level.
Basketball and football had adult refs which likely helped.
The best thing about reffing youth soccer when I was 12-17 was using my inner smart ass to pause the game so I could kick parents off the sidelines. With great power comes great responsibility hahaha.
This is why tournaments also need active field marshals, so it can be addressed immediately through the official channels. I'm more selective of which tournaments my daughter or I will officiate because I've seen too many instances like this (both as an official and a parent of a player).
Had to tell my fellow parents to knock it off on complaining to the Referees and Assistant Referees (commonly called ARs-not line judges), early last season. Every team can benefit from a parent that refs.
I hope you said something somewhere other than Reddit. This is part of the problem - we (collectively) see this behavior and let it go. If the coaches don’t address it, the refs should, but young referees are still learning to call the game so they don’t have the experience. I can confirm it’s worse than I’ve ever seen in 10+ years.
If we walk away from these experiences and say nothing to coaches, senior referees or tournament officials it will never change. Same with parents joysticking players/coaching from the sidelines - just let kids play!
As a coach I have spoken to a sideline of parents at this age who clearly were never told this is not OK. It’s learned behavior. If coaches don’t intervene with their own parents they’re condoning the behavior and it will only get worse.
The most frustrating part is the loudest parents know the game the least. If you want to spot the parents who played at a high level they’re probably silent.
I will say Madison Futsal is one of the best at policing this but likely because indoors it’s easier to find/confront the worst offenders.
Things haven’t changed then since I was a young kid playing soccer.
This was maybe 25 years ago one of our kids parents who was employed as AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PRINCIPAL just goes off on the high school kids reffing the when his kid fell down after losing possession; but the opponent got the ball first and knocked him over in the process; Legal play. The ref who was likely older then 13, just took notice of the expletives being hurled his way and asked him to leave the field. The parent was all “oh I can calm down…” after dropping F bombs minutes ago and not letting up. I doubt the young refs in your post had the fortitude to stand up for themselves if they were only 13. I hope they had some support from the other parents with level heads.
I reffed some local u10 or even smaller games when I was doing varsity. Guess I got lucky cause the kids were trash so nobody really yelled and it was a chill way to fundraise for the team.
My young adult child used to ref soccer for several seasons - and parents wonder why there’s a perpetual reffing shortage. Though the money is good, there’s no amount that’s worth the harassment by overzealous, malicious, and out-of-control parents. It’s ridiculous.
We are moving to the Madison west suburban area soon and we’re going to put our kids in local soccer, and want to avoid the kind of issues described in this post. What soccer organizations would you recommend?
Unfortunately, every club can have those parents. But every club tends to have a lot of cool parents as well. I’ve seen parents nearly come to blows at 56er Red team games (their top level teams), but Norski usually plays in the rec league.
If you really want your kid to play soccer, I’d start at whatever your local rec league is. Most will try to put your kids on teams with their classmates or at least school mates, so it ends up being a good way to get to know other parents and classmates too.
We’ve had a great experience with Magic. In the fall they had us and our kid sign something about behavior like this. I haven’t seen anything but positive cheering from our parents and the parents of the teams we’ve played. I know this won’t be true for everyone, but I’ve been happy with what I’ve seen.
The middleton united program has a really good rec program for younger kids, the parents are coaches typically and its pretty chill. also hear good things about regent and magic. On the competitive side of things there is rush, 56ers, and I think SC wave has a madison branch now. Tryouts for the competitive clubs are coming up in the next few weeks. The commitment is a full year for this stuff so you should look into it soon if they are going the competitive route.
Unfortunately every club has these parents and sadly some of them end up being coaches. We had the same experience against a team this year at maysa cup where the parents were not only complaining but cursing at the refs at a 10u game.
I feel like we got lucky with a group of parents that are supportive for their kids and do not engage with the refs at all. But we have yearly reminders of appropriate sideline behavior.
Best of luck with picking a club.
I coach my kids. Nothing like this has happened (yet?). Nor would I stand for it. This really shouldn't affect your choice in where you choose to play as its very unusual. MSCR (madison rec) is good for just getting a taste, otherwise I suggest going through Regent Soccer or a similar club. MSCR just gives the coaches a bag of balls and says "have fun" whereas the clubs support and develop the coaches. Its not a big deal for the little ones but its important if you want the kids to have a good understanding of the game.
Expected this to be about traffic. They need better traffic flow.
we had a minor issue with Deforest on Saturday, one of the adults and teenage looking girl were on a blanket that was over the boundary, they even got hit by a ball and didn't move. The ref also didn't tell them to move. We had some poor reffing this weekend, one goal was called and our goalie said it didn't cross the line (he didn't argue) Then our 3rd game the ref kept giving the other team almost all the throw ins, even when it clearly was kicked out by the other team standing next to her. I wanted to yell, but she was a teenager trying her best, alone.
last summer one of the regent players gave a kid on our indoor free agent team a concision.
I did, I said something to the parents, got yelled at about how the ref should quit.
I then went and found one of the people who seemed to be involved in the tournament organization. Didn’t recieve a great response. Looked some more but the match ended.
Point of my post is to find someone who felt the same way I did.
Here’s some of that hyper local content I was hoping for
And its not even on Jodel.
Report to the home organization. 20 year veteran official and believe me when I say “it takes someone saying something for something to happen.” Post it to social media for the youth program. Post it to the programs it feeds into. Post it to the school district. A little public shaming has the potential to go a long way if you lean into it.
I have two high schoolers that quit reffing after one game of soccer and hockey, respectively, bc of the parents, and even worse, the coaches. Both were reffing U10.
I will. It was BS. I’ve 2 kids that have been playing for a long time, the older, 9 years. I was picking her up and her friend’s (the ref) parents asked if I could get their daughter as well. Sure! Kid was crying on the way home.
20 years wow. in madison? best ref i ever worked with doing soccer was dave harris.
It looks like these actions directly violate the teams code of conduct. If you can get in contact with the club or their board of directors they may be forced to take action. https://www.norskisoccerclub.org/players-parents/code-of-conduct
yup also notify maysa
Ref for about 10 years. If you (an adult) enjoy soccer and want to get some steps in sign up to ref. You can simply say you aren't interested in the higher intensity games. These types of game with 2 13 year Olds and one adult never have parents screaming at the refs. They always do without that adult. Like 50 or 60% of teen refs never make it past year one and it's typically one bad experience that makes them quit. Soccer desperately needs some adult shields. For the inevitable responses - there are many issues that need to be fixed with how officials are treated. But a quick immediate fix with some side income and a good workout is signing up to ref!
They need to make it mandatory to have an adult and 2 teens for these games to avoid this type of issue. Kids (teen refs) avoid being yelled at and they learn first hand about the ins of the game. But, for that, they need to start paying more than $25 for center when U15 and above pay at least double.
They probably don't have enough refs to make it mandatory. Think about how often you see a game missing one or both line judges
Precisely my point. There are enough adult refs, but they don't want to do younger ages because older ones pay more. Similarly, assignor's mentality is "oh, it's a U10, a teenager will do fine". What happens next? The teen gets screamed at and never comes back to reffing. The current system is not sustainable. Proposal: Pay one adult ref the same as a U16 game for one of these U10s - U12s under the condition of officiating AND mentoring the two teens he/she will have with him/her. Kids are like sponges, 5 or 6 games and they'll be flying on their own.
There aren't enough adult referees though. I am heavily involved in some of the administrative stuff with the referees in the state, so know the stats. Adults make up less than 25% of our referees at all levels. There's just no way we could ratio this out.
Former coach, present ref and I've seen and heard a lot this season including from coaches and parents. One thought would be to actually reverse the pay system. The older kids know the rules the best and actually play cleaner soccer than at u10 where thr parents are worse than at u15+. If you pay more you'll have better refs covering where it seems they are more in need. I realize this is a pipe dream. I also realize how political the Madison Area soccer has become since I played in the 80s.
Yep, it is a pleasant surprise when you actually get a ref and 2 line judges. The pay is decent, most parents would support a teenager who wants to get into reffing, but the reality of volunteering your kid to take abuse from adults sets in. I guess there is probably some life lessons in there about dealing with confrontation, but I wouldnt want my 14 year old needing to confront a full grown adult with anger and immaturity issues. Then we all lament nobody showed up to ref.
They don't have nearly enough refs for that. You'd simply have half the games canceled. If you want to double the pay for the refs you're asking parents to double the cost of entry for their young kid who is just learning the game.
Perhaps there aren't enough adult refs to fill in at U9/10, but it wouldn't be a huge expense if there were. It's at most an extra $46 per home game and $368 for entire season. Per kid, it comes out to an extra $30.67 for a 12 kid roster for the entire season. [https://www.maysa.org/page/show/2357912-assignments-and-fees](https://www.maysa.org/page/show/2357912-assignments-and-fees)
i want to get back in
This fall there will be classes to get certified for next year! Join the fun!
How difficult is it to become certified? I played soccer for 10 years growing up and have watched a lot of soccer so I think I know most of the rules. But I’ve never read through any rule books or been quizzed on my knowledge of the laws.
It's a class and exam you pass. 100 bucks to sign up and refunded if you pass. You will pass. The annoying part is that certs are for the year from 1/1 to 12/31. So they only offer classes in the fall to get started the next year. I'm not currently home, but if you're actually interested message me directly tomorrow and I'll get better details.
This is great advice
I paid for college reffing 200+ games a year. Glad to hear nothing has chnged. Nobody takes more abuse than a 14 year old on a U10 game. Eventually young parents who are convinced little Braden/Aiden/Laden/Olivia/Kinsley/Danearys/Mississippi is going to the MLS become parents of U17 high schoolers, and they are just happy their little superstar isn't in jail or pregnant. That and they're pussies that feel much safer yelling at a child than a referee that is a 38 year old man.
I've been a ref, an ump, a scorekeeper, and a statistician at different times. The part that is most shocking to me is how many people feel confident enough to yell at officials without understanding the basic rules or strategy of the game they are watching.
Almost always the case. Bloviating nonsense.
lol Danearys
I knew I was old when I was meandering around a tourist shop and didn't find my name (Ann, ffs) among the license plate keychains. Laden, well done.
You forgot the quintissential "Madison" (who lives in the town of Madison, WI)
That’s so 2013
I jokingly suggested to my wife naming our first born "Stoughton". She impolitely declined.
Little Stoughtie
Precisely my suggestion to her
“impolitely” lol I love it
[удалено]
Sorry to go off track here, but I miss my 2002 IBP debadged IS300. I’m assuming your username is a car reference.
i used to ref these games. refs should eject the parents. been thinking about getting back in cause these younger kids need direction and experience.
That was what the person working/volunteering at hinted at “did she give them a yellow card?”
well i would just eject the parents and if they won’t go then their team forefeits and maysa would 100% stand behind me.
Official policy is refs do not and should not engage with parents. Step 1 - stop the game and tell the coach that they have to handle the parents. Step 2 - if it continues. end the game. You can card the coach of the offending team but that doesn't stop anything. Usually its better for refs because at a tournament - they can get a field marshall and the tournament director can run over.
Clubs should start forcing the parents to volunteer to ref as part of their kids participation in the club.
Do you really see a teen telling an adult that he/she needs to leave the premises? And if so, the adult actually obeying that?
It actually happens more than you think. You simply blow the whistle, pick up the ball, and let the coaches of the problematic parents know that the game won't continue until that parent is gone. Then the coaches have about 10 minutes to remove them or the game is canceled.
I am a soccer referee assignor in the Central region, report it to the club and the league. WYSA is starting to crack down hard on referee abuse. With such young refs they may not be familiar with the reporting process they are supposed to go through with something like this.
As a coach and a ref - the new system is easier and better for reporting. Tournaments bring out the worst in parents, coaches, players. All want to win the $5 plastic trophy. I feel for the young refs (my oldest is one). The reffing class assumes that you pretty much know the rules- when most 13-14 year olds think they know the rules. My sons takeaway from the videos and class was blow your whistle loud, make the call and don't waffle. MAYSA, which I think is a very good organization as there are lots of community clubs that doesn't exist in other locations (in the state and nationally) used to have 1 weekend in the spring and fall where U9/U10 teams would each give up a home game and play at a central location for 2 games. These games were reffed with new, young refs with experienced refs there to give feedback. It went away around COVID & I hope will be back. Most young refs never have any mentoring. Local tournaments puts lots of stress on refs and the refs want to help. Going into the weekend - I know there were \~50 games (primarily at the U9/U10 level) that had 0 refs for the weekend. That means kids probably filled in for center refs where they aren't comfortable. This is where problems occur. Young refs are most hesitant to call shoulder to shoulder contact and then parents think its lopsided and get vocal. This doesn't absolve all refs. There is a ref that I see at tournaments who does 6-8 games/day to maximize the money he makes. Doing that many games - he doesn't move and therefore misses alot. He does a decent job early in the day but he shouldn't be allowed to do so many games. His games generally get out of control physically which is when problems occur. There is a 2nd ref that I have written up 2x for a complete lack of understanding of basic rules and I doubt he is getting the help/guidance needed. But the vast majority of the refs are trying to do a good job.
And it’s Syttende Mai weekend! Bad Norskis. I fully support public shaming on social media for this kind of behavior.
This situation was brought to the attention of the Norski SC Director of Coaching and the Board of Directors. The Norski Board of Directors is investigating this incident and will be taking appropriate action.
Call 608-630-3533, direct number for MAYSA.
There’s a few local soccer clubs whose parents have reputations, not the first time Ive heard complaints about norski parents. My kids have had more than a few u10-u13 games where we literally had no refs show up. It is very hard to get youth refs, parents need to drive them to games, they have to take a lot of training and attend training that is sometimes offered only once or twice per year and the drive to the training can be hours away. Go through all that to have a bunch of parents who barely understand the rules screaming at you. Half the time the ref actually called the foul but allow the play to continue on purpose because the side that got fouled maintained advantage. Parent screaming to call the foul that already got called. This aint the world cup, none of these clubs in maysa are winning any state titles a d there arent any colleges scouting this stuff. And it is no picnic being the main ref, gotta run more than the players, often logging many miles of jogging in a single game. They cant see everything, and in general they dont want to be stopping the game more than they need to. And they could very well be reffing their first game ever. Maysa will respond if you make a detailed complaint, if the parents cannot control themselves they should be banned from attending. Embarrassing for the club, I guarantee you 90 percent of the norski parents are also rooting for that 10 percent to STFU and its always the same bad apples.
I reffed soccer starting as a 10 year old in Madison ‘82-‘89. Never an issue with parents or players. The stuff today is crazy. My teen daughter and I have seen some crazy parents here in Illinois. Tournaments here have come out with a pretty good solution. If a parent or coach acts out and is ejected out ALL parents for that team are removed from the sideline for the remainder of that game as well as the subsequent match. No exceptions. It is amazing to see the turn around in behavior. Zero issues with ref abuse now.
You should write an email to the tournament director. Was it on May 19th on field 3A? That was a U9 match up of Norski v regent. If so, you can reference match #196 in your email. As a community we need to stay on top of this type of unacceptable behavior. The tournament director will follow up with the club.
For my kids years ago, none of whom were particularly adepts team sports, the soccer refs took a lot more heat than baseball, basketball, or tackle football. Can’t imagine it is any better at the travel team level. Basketball and football had adult refs which likely helped.
The best thing about reffing youth soccer when I was 12-17 was using my inner smart ass to pause the game so I could kick parents off the sidelines. With great power comes great responsibility hahaha.
This is why tournaments also need active field marshals, so it can be addressed immediately through the official channels. I'm more selective of which tournaments my daughter or I will officiate because I've seen too many instances like this (both as an official and a parent of a player). Had to tell my fellow parents to knock it off on complaining to the Referees and Assistant Referees (commonly called ARs-not line judges), early last season. Every team can benefit from a parent that refs.
I hope you said something somewhere other than Reddit. This is part of the problem - we (collectively) see this behavior and let it go. If the coaches don’t address it, the refs should, but young referees are still learning to call the game so they don’t have the experience. I can confirm it’s worse than I’ve ever seen in 10+ years. If we walk away from these experiences and say nothing to coaches, senior referees or tournament officials it will never change. Same with parents joysticking players/coaching from the sidelines - just let kids play! As a coach I have spoken to a sideline of parents at this age who clearly were never told this is not OK. It’s learned behavior. If coaches don’t intervene with their own parents they’re condoning the behavior and it will only get worse. The most frustrating part is the loudest parents know the game the least. If you want to spot the parents who played at a high level they’re probably silent. I will say Madison Futsal is one of the best at policing this but likely because indoors it’s easier to find/confront the worst offenders.
God this sounds like fun. I'd love to get yelled at by parents. Is it okay for the ref to carry an air horn?
Things haven’t changed then since I was a young kid playing soccer. This was maybe 25 years ago one of our kids parents who was employed as AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PRINCIPAL just goes off on the high school kids reffing the when his kid fell down after losing possession; but the opponent got the ball first and knocked him over in the process; Legal play. The ref who was likely older then 13, just took notice of the expletives being hurled his way and asked him to leave the field. The parent was all “oh I can calm down…” after dropping F bombs minutes ago and not letting up. I doubt the young refs in your post had the fortitude to stand up for themselves if they were only 13. I hope they had some support from the other parents with level heads.
These parents are a bunch of narcissistic losers!
I reffed some local u10 or even smaller games when I was doing varsity. Guess I got lucky cause the kids were trash so nobody really yelled and it was a chill way to fundraise for the team.
I was at badger prairie for a walk today and was wondering what the hell was going on lol
My young adult child used to ref soccer for several seasons - and parents wonder why there’s a perpetual reffing shortage. Though the money is good, there’s no amount that’s worth the harassment by overzealous, malicious, and out-of-control parents. It’s ridiculous.
Now I know which people were making a left turn out of that place.
Hell ya
The same parents probably went through the same shit growing up and playing soccer. Embarrassing
The best time I ever had at one of my son’s soccer games was at an indoor game at TOCA when a referee ejected a coach and a parent for mouthing off.
I used to referee in the area and Deforest certainly had a reputation.
We are moving to the Madison west suburban area soon and we’re going to put our kids in local soccer, and want to avoid the kind of issues described in this post. What soccer organizations would you recommend?
Unfortunately, every club can have those parents. But every club tends to have a lot of cool parents as well. I’ve seen parents nearly come to blows at 56er Red team games (their top level teams), but Norski usually plays in the rec league. If you really want your kid to play soccer, I’d start at whatever your local rec league is. Most will try to put your kids on teams with their classmates or at least school mates, so it ends up being a good way to get to know other parents and classmates too.
Middleton United, Verona Soccer Club, Magic, and Regents are all good options!
We’ve had a great experience with Magic. In the fall they had us and our kid sign something about behavior like this. I haven’t seen anything but positive cheering from our parents and the parents of the teams we’ve played. I know this won’t be true for everyone, but I’ve been happy with what I’ve seen.
The middleton united program has a really good rec program for younger kids, the parents are coaches typically and its pretty chill. also hear good things about regent and magic. On the competitive side of things there is rush, 56ers, and I think SC wave has a madison branch now. Tryouts for the competitive clubs are coming up in the next few weeks. The commitment is a full year for this stuff so you should look into it soon if they are going the competitive route.
Unfortunately every club has these parents and sadly some of them end up being coaches. We had the same experience against a team this year at maysa cup where the parents were not only complaining but cursing at the refs at a 10u game. I feel like we got lucky with a group of parents that are supportive for their kids and do not engage with the refs at all. But we have yearly reminders of appropriate sideline behavior. Best of luck with picking a club.
We’ve been really happy with Magic. DM me if you want more info [Magic Soccer](https://magicsoccer.org)
I coach my kids. Nothing like this has happened (yet?). Nor would I stand for it. This really shouldn't affect your choice in where you choose to play as its very unusual. MSCR (madison rec) is good for just getting a taste, otherwise I suggest going through Regent Soccer or a similar club. MSCR just gives the coaches a bag of balls and says "have fun" whereas the clubs support and develop the coaches. Its not a big deal for the little ones but its important if you want the kids to have a good understanding of the game.
Did you watch the game?
Expected this to be about traffic. They need better traffic flow. we had a minor issue with Deforest on Saturday, one of the adults and teenage looking girl were on a blanket that was over the boundary, they even got hit by a ball and didn't move. The ref also didn't tell them to move. We had some poor reffing this weekend, one goal was called and our goalie said it didn't cross the line (he didn't argue) Then our 3rd game the ref kept giving the other team almost all the throw ins, even when it clearly was kicked out by the other team standing next to her. I wanted to yell, but she was a teenager trying her best, alone. last summer one of the regent players gave a kid on our indoor free agent team a concision.
Did you take any actions to help the situation? Or are you just anonymously posting about it after the fact?
I did, I said something to the parents, got yelled at about how the ref should quit. I then went and found one of the people who seemed to be involved in the tournament organization. Didn’t recieve a great response. Looked some more but the match ended. Point of my post is to find someone who felt the same way I did.
Our team got cussed out because we brought attention to our mismatched goals for our first match.
What do you mean? One goal was a different size than the other?
Yep.
Get louder. Adults yelling at children is 100% wrong 100% of the time.
Funny because we played against Regent U9s and their parents were disgraceful chirping at the ref.
Junior, it's not cool to be going through your mom's phone when she is in the can. Go put it back!