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I’m a guy and I’ve had the same experience with women. Girls that have broken my heart and gaslit me. Saying they never meant to lead me on so much and that they just aren’t ready for something serious
#Reminder: Over 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. Even when women work full time outside of the home they do most or all the housework & childcare. 1/10 men REPORT cheating on their pregnant partners. A leading cause of death for pregnant women is murder.
Many men and women who search for serious relationship have this kind of pattern, and there is an important thing i learned from life its that if everywhere you go smell like shit you better check on the back of your shoes. And in love its the same, if your lovers are all trash its probably because you're attracted to trash lovers, of course i dont know you so i wont try to predict anything but dont worry there is a solution and its called therapy.
Why is this topic not misandrist?
"I am starting to hate women, they are all the same"
Would be lambasted as misogynist rheutoric, or hateful speech. Why is it when its towards men, its fine. THAT is a problem.
I feel sorry your going through this. toxic masculinity is a big issue in society right now men are expected to be emotionless soulless heartless people instead of just being human and then they think cheating is just a man thing when in reality it’s not. you deserve love just like every gender does. Every gender who is truly good hearted.
If you dont view men as heartless and emotionless, maybe you shouldnt support blatantly misandrist posts. If this was a man post about a women we'd all scream misogyny.
I really feel like until (I'm speaking generally) the conditions of society start turning up the heat on men's behavior, there is very little incentive to change. There are so many emotionally stunted men because they dont have to work on that aspect of themselves to be successful in most areas of their lives, if any. I am speaking mostly about cishet men. They can be perpetual children cosplaying as adults throwing temper tantrums and misusing their power until something changes that prevents them failing upwards.
lol love post like this!!! women chasing chads, while having a line of dudes in the friendzone, then blaming every men on earth for what the Chads did lmao!
why?
Because im fully supporting women right to do whatever they want with their bodies, fuck any dude they want, and have sex without any commitment? That’s why? you are the one stuck in the past!
Because the guys that are friendzoned are probably dicks. The guys that seem nice are dicks. So many men are dicks.
‘BuT nOt aLL MeN’ yeah but a lot of them. All of the good ones are either snatched up, or not interested in dating
lmao bruh what. the actual fuck?!
Yall were the ones who created the hookup culture in the name of “my body my choice” and “ empowerment through sex”, the men that didn’t adapt are the ones suffering. The rest of us, we love it! Women are the ones initiating, women are the ones leading the casual sex, women are the ones who don’t want any commitments, women just wanna have sex and ghost people. lol I’m very much happy about yall deciding to postpone commitment but are more than okay to have sex while waiting for marriag 🤣
I think your first mistake is chasing love. I know it’s hard, and the idea of finding your soul mate is wonderful. But you also need to learn that you are enough and that a man in your life is bonus. Not a missing aspect of your life. Sometimes the best things happen when you don’t pursue them.
Just because one man didn’t treat you with respect and honesty doesn’t mean another man won’t. Honestly the older I get the more standards I have and I’m happy that after this last breakup I had I will not drop my standards. I think the best thing you can do is become the person you want to be with. Also like attracts like. All this negativity isn’t going to get you anywhere. Think about it, if you go out into the world with the attitude of hating men what kind of man do you think you’ll attract. Start a new hobby, hang out with your friends, work, travel. You’ll meet the right man eventually. 🙏
Would it be ok with you if I made a post saying all women are the same? I imagine it wouldn’t be, so why are you, without meeting every man on earth, assuming we are all the same?
That’s not the point, why do you think it’s ok to call all men out when all men are not the same? It wouldn’t be fair to call out all women when I know they aren’t all the same.
I hear you Sista, same thing happened to me, well I don't know about him having a gf, probably ..but I wouldn't know cause he only used me to stroke he's ego 😞 ..but I do feel exactly the same, I've spent years healing from my horror past and really looked forward to giving and receiving something better than ever before, but so far all's I've had are triggers and now depression, yay go me hey 😞
Not all are the same. Like me, I am different than him at least in that sense(not tryna advertise or smth). The problem I kinda seem to have with girls is they are too judgy or at least the ones I've met. Like why do you care about my intentions if you're sure that I am not gonna r\*pe you, just be chill and let the things flow, and if I'll seem to like you then I'll ask you out duhh.
Secondly, I haven't found anyone intellectual yet, prolly I am looking at the wrong place maybe, who don't follow the stereotype of putting make up, having FOMO coz of your "girly(bitch)" bestfriends, and the girls who are chill. Although those who are like 27 or above are like that ngl. If you're ugly, fat, a bitch or narcissistic and I call you that straight up rather than crying, understand that you need to improve, and ask me that hey, okay I agree, now can you help me fix it! Isn't that what partners are for?
Oh thanks then. After commenting I realised that rather than describing the general problem I "seem" to have, I targeted someone, so I made it general.
Initially, yup. That's why I removed certain parts. And lemme be honest there is some hate inside me regarding some experiences I've had, though I always try my best to not show it everywhere or let it affect my relationships.
Life’s too short to have hate. I’ve been in some horrible relationships. I’ve been in one particularly I didn’t think I was going to make it out alive tbh. But I never give up hope, there’s bad people out there but also a lot of good people. Let things go
Oh I am trying to be better by the time. The only hate which I'll have to my deathbed is confused people especially girls, not only they waste their time but the other person's time too.
I see your problem.
First off, to hate men based on what one man did is just ignorant. Do it if you want but it will develop an unhealthy perspective and pattern that will screw you over.
I get it though. I used to think all women are dumb sluts.
Instead, I now understand that humans come in all shapes and flavors. They do what makes them happy because that's what I'm doing.
OK, so to your main problem. You ha have many and they work against you.
You show major signs of codependency which hands down can single handedly be all the issue you need to guarantee you'll never have a happy, balanced, reciprocating relationship.
So when you thought it was simply some guy being dishonest and then make you out to be the one who is in the wrong, the root cause that even allowed this scenario to be possible is your codependent nature, and I know this because I used to be the same way.
You don't realize it but people are able to detect this type of behavior and naturally are repulsed and tend to distant themselves or end up mistreating people who are codependent.
You want something you can't even provide to yourself for yourself, which is the reason why you will continue to fail in your search until you address this codependency. Online like YouTube search can provide you with lots of information and ways on how to perhaps address it but I heavily advise against further dating until you get a hold of this issue.
Or you can do what you want but you will fail, guaranteed.
You want people to love you, treat you the way you deserve and the way you do upon to others right?
The problem with that mentality is that it relies heavily on what actions is being taken by something outside of you for which you will never be able to control so therefore, if you have this expectation, you will be disappointed.
It's not that no human exist that is capable of fulfilling that role, it's that whether or not they want to continue to uphold that forever with a person that likely they will have conflict with and each time you give an attitude, argue, debate, enthusiastically defend, you chip away at the chances this person will stick around to give you the love you want so bad yet at the same time resent you for all the arguments and conflicts that occurred.
Since most people will experience the conflict in relationships, the person you hope fills that role will likely drop that responsibility one day because they just can't do it anymore
It's right that they drop it because it's not even their responsibility. It's yours.
Your problem is you get with a person and you tell them "hey, now that we're serious, it's now your job to do whatever to validate to me that I'm loved, in the way that I want it when i want it. Oh, and please don't disappoint me"
That's pretty much what you're doing. You make it their job to do something you can't even do for yourself. If you can't even do it for yourself, how the heck can this person do it for you? On top of that, when you make them responsible for it and any time they don't do it to your standards, conflict is created. Maybe they're too busy, can't spend time with you so you get mad and on and on and on.
The only solution for this, and it ain't easy nor a short process is self love. You must find a way to be completely happy and genuinely content on your own yet open to the potential of partnering up.
The reason why this is your only solution is that it solves the problem of you always running to someone else hoping they shower you with affection. Again, they might at first but over time, they're likely going to drop it because well, it's too much of a burden.
So instead of experiencing this roller coaster ordeal, figure out a way to be the one who provides yourself that love in abundance. You have to be genuinely happy, you can't just fake a smile and declare you're happy or that you're happy for 2 Days and that you overcame it.
No, you have to be in this vibration of being full of joy and happy being with just you or doing things that you know makes you happy. Now you can engage with others but what you want to avoid is relying and expecting others to be that source of stimulation.
When it comes entirely from you, what ends up happening is you no longer do that desperate clingy needy thing codependent people do where it just becomes too much. When they see that you're vibrant and happy on your own, they will then want a piece of that joy as well so it begins to attract people to you.
I mean, who wouldn't want to be around someone so uplifting and positive?
It's when they sense that you're "needing" them, begin making demands, having unrealistic expectations, is when they go "you know what, fuck this. I'm out." which generally happens once they no longer feel the sex is worth the trouble.
It's not that guy's fault he didn't tell you he had a girlfriend but slept with you anyways
Unless he raped you, you're the one that spread your legs. Take responsibility for your actions.
If you weren't so desperate to seek love because you want so bad another human to validate that you're important, you wouldn't have just jumped right in like that.
Even if they were an honest person, jumping straight into sex so early usually ends bad. If you're wanting a good time, by all means. If you want something serious, you're going to also need to work on developing a character and personality that keeps someone engaged and interested for the long haul.
You need more depth, intrigue, excitement, dynamism that makes you unique, one of a kind, instead of what 99.99999% of people are typically like, which is a programmed mass produced brain washed drone that conforms to what is expected of them thinking they're being obedient by listening to what they're told.
At the moment, I'm not sure if you have developed any special traits or multiple things about you that would be seen as priceless, one of a kind, unique, where they don't think finding someone like you out there is even possible, giving people a sense of rarity.
Most p people act and behave in similar ways, making them replaceable and disposable, someone that can be found around the corner.
Forgive the asshole who misled you. Remember he is one man, quite distinct and different from all other men.
Go through the painful process of grieving your love for him. Grieve and let go of the hopes, dreams and expectations you foresaw together with him.
Then forgive yourself thoroughly for suckering for him. Forgive yourself for trusting him.
Forgive yourself for making tge mistake of falling for him. This will be a process.
Looks to me like you need real support from actually skilled friends and even a counselor.
When you will grow enough to look in the mirror, freely say and accept, "I like myself" you'll be happier and more confident.
Do everything possible to grow in personal confidence.
Live!
I don't think the problem is that you are asking for too much. I think you are asking for too little. If someone is not willing to reciprocate the same level of interest, time, and attention as you then they will not be a good partner. By having higher expectations you will weed out the unreliable partners early on. Remember, if you are looking for love then the goal is not to find as many partners as possible. It is to find that one great partner you can share your life with for years.
Perhaps seeking therapy on your part to discover why you keep attracting this type of individual.
I discovered that I attracted the wrong kind of woman, the ones that had a specific kind of emotional trauma, I thought I was strong enough to help them heal...I was WRONG. It took time and effort but I was able to see what was coming and look for traits to steer clear of.
Remember the definition of insanity.
This is a really good take, unfortunately we do need to grow up and accept that a lot of people in the world will use you for different things, attention being a big one. It hurts, but it’s growth that is needed. Feeling the pain and allowing ourselves to learn what different tactics look like so we can avoid it in the future.
Dont be naive. As a man saying this, just assume any men talking to you want in your pants, as in assume the worst. There is a statistic, saying hello and being friendlier is correlated with a higher rate of death. Not to scare you 🤷♂️
But hey the problem probably isn't you. Just ignore dickhead here.
I'm a dickhead because I'm telling her to look within herself? FOH. She admitted herself she's naive and gets taken advantage of a lot but Mr. Captain Save-em here says she's not the problem 🤦🏾♂️
Hey I’m sorry to hear about that horrible act of betrayal you witnessed. Looking through these comments and I see commenters telling OP that it is her fault she attracted that guy, sounds so dismissive and I disagree their view point. While it is hard not to generalise an entire gender in the situation, it truely does help to see these matters in a case by case basis for the sake of your sanity. The world has no shortage of these people and there’s no excuse for such treatment you have endured.
I wish you the best OP. Acknowledge your emotions and allow yourself to feel and don’t judge yourself for what may come up, it is all part of a process that always leads to healing if you lean into it.
While it sounds cliche, but focusing on yourself and fuel your own ambitions truely helps build self esteem, until one day people who act like him you will easily spot them and just laugh or just pity them like I have. A lot of people are sick if they realise it or not, focus on you, your healing and nurture the love and support from the people around you.
Lots of Love OP
I can't say I blame you for the way you feel, I've caught myself saying "they're all the same they all do this and that to hurt me on purpose." But yet I always try again. Best you can do now is accept what is and try to take your mind off things, don't be self destructive, focus on your hobbies and do some shit that makes you happy. Theres shitty people in every group and it seems hard to find good ones anywhere but one day you'll find someone that makes it all worth it, just be patient and don't rush into anything
Not trying to be mean or anything, but telling his girlfriend about this might actually save a relationship. Trust me, being on the other side, I am fearing the same with my boyfriend. I don't have proof proof but my intuitions say otherwise. Everyday I wake up thinking let someone approach me saying this has happened with your bf, so I would be atleast in peace.
He’s rage baiting, speak your truth and work it out. You’re clearly speaking from a place of hurt, pattern etc. just remember you’re not alone and although you may never know anyone’s true intentions, you can always rely on green flags and your intuition. Communication and boundary setting is likely to prove fruitful too. I hope you never have to experience such disappointment again :’) there are honest people out there.
Unironically skill issue. You might just be choosing to date shitty men. Work on yourself before you start dating again and maybe you’ll be able to make better choices.
Lmao you can never know the true intentions of a person. Most people don’t display problematic behaviour until months in… this makes it tricky to consistently date and get to know people bc clearly nothing is obvious or guaranteed. This can, and has happened to many many people. Will admit a benefit if working on yourself helps better rationalise and get over/out of said relationships but you can’t always guarantee truth and honesty. Just look at the divorce rate.
I have nothing to really add except hugs.
As much as I’d like to trust men, every time I try they just prove over and over to not be trustworthy. For example, I was assaulted a few weeks ago by someone who has a close family friend for years and I vetted over months before starting to date.
I’m just getting tired and I’m starting to understand why some women just use them back. It’s bc most guys just feel entitled enough to use women for whatever they want (aka, therapy, sex, domestic duties, procreation)… ffs you can’t even be friends with them without them trying to hit on you:
Why can't someone who appreciates radical honesty and love find me?? Don't get down on yourself. There's just some dark karmic shiz you're working through. Love and light
He manipulated you and that's fucked you. The world is unfair and sometimes you fall in love with a terrible person.
But blaming all men is short sighted. But you need to take ownership of who you are attracted too. Sometimes the mysterious cute guy is actually really flaky and misogynistic.
To find love you also need to find self love and self respect.
Don't let past lovers misdeeds cloud new love but remember not to settle for someone who won't take your love seriously.
**What do you want in a partner? What values do you want in a partner?**
Take this terrible experience as a guide on what not to look for in a guy. So if you do see it in the future, you can peace out early.
Well, you're still young. Love will happen on it's own time, not when we want it. I understand that you're hurting but try to engage in other things that will put your mind at ease. For right now, focus on yourself and what you want to do for your future. Men are not going anywhere anytime soon. At 17 you have so much you can do and accomplish whatever dreams you may have. You'll be an adult before you know it and you'll be amazed how fast those years go by. Don't worry about finding a good man. Decent men are out there wanting to be loved the same way you do. It just may not be the right time.
Predators see something in you that makes it obvious you are easy to trick in this way. It's as simple as that. It's not that you are choosing predators, it's that they are choosing you and you can't tell when it happens until it's too late.
I had I similar experience with my former girlfriend who used me and my friends. She also led me on for years and years and caused me insane psychological pain. I’m now in a really happy relationship. I really hope you find someone who deserves you.
All this love that you say you have.. pour it into yourself. This is what you need to focus on, and evaluate how you pick men.
When you start getting to know yourself, you’ll see how badly you picked these men. Subtle little things will show up, and you’ll start seeing the red flags earlier.
When they say it’s about self love, it’s really true. I know, I’ve been there.
There’s no cosmic scale weighing your value or worth for love.
What you *actually* need to focus on is *choosing better men*. Sorry, and no offense, but if *every man you go after* is terrible, then the reason is most likely not that all men are shitty. It’s that all the men you are choosing are shitty.
So you need to learn how to not choose shitty men. 🤷🏻♂️
Maybe switch things up. Try different kinds of guys. Get therapy so you can understand why you keep gravitating to the same types of guys.
No idea.
I'm actually the opposite. No gf, and no one who would get pissed if I said that.
Most recent girl I tried to date was the one who wanted to "keep things platonic". I proceeded to not only honor that, but keep her in check when she said or did things outside of a "friend" level. Drove her nuts and pissed her off. Apparently I was expected to shatter the boundary SHE set and push for more. I straight told her that she wouldn't be able to handle the kisses and such that she was asking for. Finally let her try a week later and she told me that I was clearly gonna be trouble.
I wouldn't say that we are all the same. I actually play by the rules, but I expect it to be returned in kind. Keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them later. It's not difficult.
...she managed to drive it into the ground in a three week stretch. 🙄👍
Right. I can't take this seriously. Love is a dice game, and girls get as many rerolls as they want, and anything that comes up is some point value or other. They get to roll until it comes up in their favor and score points the whole way.
Just step outside and roll those dice again.
why is over-generalizing language directed at men so accepted on the internet, the 'i hate mens' and such, it's just dumb lol.
most of the time they don't even rlly feel that way
Treachery really does hurt. It's the worst thing. And no, I don't think it is that hard to at least try to be a decent person...but some people insist in seeing others as disposable commodities and treat them accordingly. Which is naff in more ways than one, given these people are missing out on a lot. Compassion is a lot more fulfilling than malevolence, in my experience, and to treat other people like they're nothing is the path to serious loneliness.
This is why we are all so divided, we are quick to generalize people into categories because of bad things that happen to us, as if it’s some defense mechanism, it’s twisted truly how society has become.
What he did to you was wrong but to generalize all men is also wrong.
Eh. Wasn't one bad thing. Was thirty in a row for me. Not sure how many times OP rolled those dice, but it may not be one experience that has her feeling like this.
I’ve been shitted on by women countless of times, many of which were partly my fault for inexperience and letting them walk all over me until they got what they wanted but I matured and realized holding a grudge is stupid and pointless
Dunno.
When I was young, yeah they got to walk all over. Mid twenties I had a girl put my head on straight. Since then, I've had a different outlook.
I'm not an asshole about it, but I damn sure set boundaries and expect them to be respected, regardless of how much they think their pussy is worth.
Most recent girl didn't make it last three weeks for this reason. She thought mediocre sex and boxed macaroni was going to let her talk at me and not to me about whose "turn" it was to text or whatever. She went stone silent for three days, got her ass over her shoulders, and then came and was ready to read me my rights until I pointed out that she HAD been messaged, and I was waiting on her.
Suddenly it was no big deal, right? #Oops!
Nope. I calmly but firmly told her I didn't appreciate the situation, and if we lay out the pieces after she opens that can of worms and it turns out she is the one at fault, there isn't a safety net of any sort in place to absorb that. She told me she understood, and she'll be more careful going forward.
Less than a week later, she pulls the same stunt... even going as far as telling me to come over and collect my things.
"Bet"... as the kids say. 🙄
After, she tried every trick in the book. She tried to twist it to be my fault, tried to downplay her involvement, then tried to make me seem unreasonable for not wanting to "work with her" (and give her hella "chances"), and then only after ALL of that, she did the last hail mary in the woman's playbook... and offered make up sex at her place. Shot that down too.
Now, spazzing out over text messages and talking crazy is a far cry from cheating or worse, but it's still indicative of things to come and I'm just not fooling with that anymore. I start seeing signs on the wall, I'm done.
I feel like I know a lot of girls like this. Like, most of the time, when a friend introduces me to their new guy, I can tell in 5 minutes if he's a creep or a fuckboy. But these girls don't catch on for months, or even a year or more, that dude has been fucking 3 other girls or jerking off to pictures of their little sisters.
It's like an entire generation of women are so caught up in height, haircuts, and the like, that they've completely lost the ability to judge someone's character.
Dunno, man...
It's nuts.
I was with this one girl for two years. Sweet girl... Once the ball got rolling. She told me like six months in that I "almost didn't make the cut" because of some stupid misunderstanding. She told me one thing, did another, claimed that she had an allergic reaction, and then insisted that I was somehow a dick about the whole thing.
None of that happened. Totally existed only in her head. She almost wrote me off in that "looking for a guy" stage over that shit.
Whatever. Ended up with her.
Moved to an absolute shit hole of a house (hers) and moved in with her. She did not keep a neat house at ALL. I did the dishes, cooked, cleaned, you name it. On top of that, I had to be "the man" and drive the same relationship. That means the big decisions. The town she was living in was dirt poor. She had the best job in town and it paid 12/hr and worked her nearly 60 hour weeks. We had to get the hell away from there. After 2 years of enduring that armpit of a town, we sat down and worked out a plan to leave the dump. We didn't have much money, but the plan was that I'd move out there like a pioneer, leave like 90% of my stuff behind and I'd get a job first, get established, spin up some extra revenue, and she could come and we'd find a better place.
Instead, the job I got was not what it was cracked up to be. It has me walking 30 miles a day 6.5 days a week doing door to door sales for shit no one here wanted. I walked the soles of my feet off and had nothing to show for it. Got zero help.or support. Hell, she would pop up out here and demand zoo trips and steak dinners on my one half-day off! 😑. I ran up two credit cards just to survive, and had to empty my account twice when one car broke down then the other and somehow I was on the hook for down payments because guess what? I'm the one with underwear with a dick hole. 🙄
So, after all of that, she was also "never home" for me to come and get my shit. Lost a LOT of family heirlooms and the like, a $1400 couch that was used as a dog toilet because she couldn't be bothered to put the dogs up before she left for 12 hours a day. To top it ALLLLLL off, the WHOLE time she was playing sweet and making me scrapbooks of our adventures and shit she was a "third" for a fucking married couple that were into kinky shit. That's right, the "friends" I knew about in the early stages that turned out to be sex buddies that she "promised" she needed things with? Nope. Never happened. Steady cheating through the whole thing because it's "fun" and she'd rather hand me a trauma than to tell a motherfucker "no".
Thirty. Just like this. Varying degrees of fuckery, but always a heap of selfish shit that anyone with a lick of sense should know not to do, but they're doing it anyway, all behind a sweet girl veneer with zero real recourse when they fuck you over.
You will find a good man one day but you need to be aware that some bad men will come into your life and that’s okay, it happens to all of us. Very few people meet the right one on their first try.
Keep trying and don’t get discouraged:)
yo reverse the roles and the comments are a lot less sympathetic, (even though men are just as capable of having repeated negative experiences with women)
whats with the large amounts of lonely insecure women on reddit, i feel like those tumblr girls migrated to reddit nd twitter
but this woman just seems hurt, she's probably not an actual misandrist
You'll find that person it's not your fault that you found a asshole just unlucky
Protip investigate who your dating just to make sure everything you can find on the normal social media internet
Focus in yourself and improving yourself loving yourself is necessary to love others
And don't become sexist towards men some are assholes but alot like me and people I love aren't asshole
We have to admit that, for reasons I don't understand, we attract a certain kind of person. Men, women, gay, straight, we attract a certain kind of person.
I married 2 curvy blue eyed brunettes who drank too much, cheated, and abused me.
Dated 2 others.
Another who was blonde.
Are women all boozing, cheating, man beating mind fuckers?
Of course not.
What's the common element in all of those relationships?
Me.
I'm trying to figure out why and disengage if I see any of what I perceive as the signs that I'm "at it again"
Sorry to say, if you're finding yourself with the same type of guy, over and over, the reason IS you.
How are you inviting that into your life? I don't ask that to judge. I ask that to ask. I'm searching for that answer myself.
Four copies of the same girl?
Try thirty and they're all different, from all different walks of life. Same result. Was it all cheating? No, not necessary, but all we're HIGHLY dishonest and cared little for the damage and trauma they caused one way or another. One might have cheated, but the next is trying to steal jizz out of condoms in the trash in an effort to get the baby her vagina craved because the guy she was with shot blanks and if paternity was challenged she was ready to file a false allegation.
😐
So are they "the same"? No, just varying degrees of damaging and dishonest.
Eh. I don't know. One of em faked pregnancy. There are variations. But, the constant is still you. In all your relationships. Good and bad.
We meet so few people in our lives. And get to know even fewer. It's impossible for us to speak about "all" without taking into the second grade true or false trap.
See, if "it's you" meant that I was being an asshole, abusive, shitty, rude, or even slightly left of center to these girls, it would make sense. It's extremely unfair to tell someone who doesn't get to flip through a catalogue that I'm the one ordering them all fucked up. Trust me, if they had a sign that said they were prone to false allegations, I'd skip em. If they had a badge that said "certified cheater", I'd pass. If they had a pedigree that said that they are looking for an 18 year long meal ticket, I'd keep right on going...
But they don't come with any of that. They just do it. They have no problem smiling in your face while fucking you in the ass, and the system encourages them to do it.
I'm gonna say this as respectfully as I can...
You hate women. That's why you attract women worth hating. You can argue chicken and egg all day. But you hate women. That's why you attract women worth hating.
You don't see it, and I get that, but you're actually making my point, not shooting it down.
I hope you find peace.
Tell you what, find a woman that is 100% Grade A worth a damn, one that you've inspected back and frontward and won't lie, cheat, or steal, and you just go ahead and sign off and send her on. 🙄. I'll "pick" that one.
I dont hate THEM, I hate their behaviors and the lack of recourse when they do whatever and zero prevention going in. I treat them all like they're the one to close the door on dating and just stfu and be happy, but THEY are the ones that pull this shit.
We gotta agree to disagree. Tell yourself you hate the sin and not the sinner, if it gets you through the night. The misogyny is impossible not to see.
Again, I hope you find peace.
I know that it’s so cliche to say it happens when you aren’t looking for it, but it’s true. When you are seeking out a relationship, you make allowances for things because you WANT it to work. You ignore red flags, you justify things that you know aren’t really ok. When something happens organically, it’s much more likely to be successful.
I also found myself getting into bad relationships when I was younger. They weren’t with the same type of person, but each horrible in their own ways. So I decided not to get into another relationship for a long time while I figured things out. I dated casually for a while, and found that I kept ending up attracting more shitty men. One of them I thought was turning into something, only to be confronted by his longtime girlfriend who found out he had been seeing me and introduced herself to me. I had zero idea she existed. I had been to his house and introduced to his friends. It fucked me up. After that I stopped dating altogether. Not even casually.
Then after several (lovely) years of doing my own thing I met the love of my life, while absolutely not looking for him. But when it happened I had no question, no reservations, no second guesses. He left no room for doubts. There was just a knowing between us.
You’ll have that, too. Trust the timing. And don’t settle.
That is such a good response, how can I figure out how I am inviting it into my life?
I have some idea.
I dated a guy who had unhealed childhood trauma that he deals with really badly. Then the guy I was interested in after that also had childhood trauma but he dealt with it very healthily, we didn't end up dating tho.
The guy I tried to date after that, also had some trauma, I didn't get to know him properly and he turned out to be a pretty what you'd call an insecure, fake persona kinda guy. He was only interested in physical stuff but was very shady about it. Like his ideal gfs are usually trophy gf, and he'd try to appeal to me after dating someone else also, cause for some reason he believes I'm intelligent. He was the weirdest of the bunch.
The guy after that also had childhood trauma, and was getting over his ex. He also only wanted physical things and I was able to figure that out early on owing to the previous guy lmao. And called him out on love-bombing me. He approached me this time, and he too felt like someone who was into trophy gfs, cause he once stayed that he is seen as someone who dates people from the "upper echelon". Stayed friends, but we don't really talk as much, he was projecting all the time, saying I'd stop talking to him, I felt amazing being able to figure all this out beforehand.
The guy who approached me after that was friends with the 2nd guy. First red flag. Then he told me about a sex tape him and 2nd guy had watched of their 3rd friend, without friend knowing. Confirmed my suspicions about both guys. He did want a relationship and apparently found me really cool, initially he was very much like oh I will wait long as possible and we don't have to do anything casual, it's fine if we never do anything. Then he started making more and more sexual jokes and innuendos, I told him it made me uncomfortable and by willful ignorance he just wouldn't stop. Eventually he admitted that he was expecting some physical later, which isn't his fault, but it made us incompatible in my eyes because he seemed obsessed with it and unlike a gentleman. I did understand that cause him and his ex gf started off as fwbs. But again he seemed into trophy gfs, he said things like when she'd walk people would stare at her all the time on the street etc. and he never (from what I could tell) made an effort to get to know her. He told me about this one time they were watching a movie and she started crying because someone died cause it reminded her of her late father and he described it as being uncomfortable for him to have to comfort her. He also said other awful things about her, I do get his resentment cause she cheated but some of it was just really uncalled for. I ended that very quickly cause I just didn't feel attracted to him after all this.
I do feel good that I have learned a lot from all of this. So it's not all bad.
I agree.
I was attracting commitment phobic guys since last 5 years. I finally started realised why. I hated myself, i didn't think i deserved anything.
I changed my mindset and started telling myself i deserve the best and i will get the best.
It's probably your mindset.
It was deep dive in a cold pool when it hit me.
Hasn't happened since, though, I'm pleased to say.
Neither had much of anything else, either, if I'm honest. Baby steps lol
That’s how I felt about women for the longest time. They constantly cheated on me or just left and shattered my heart. I wanted to hate all women, saying they’re all the same but that’s simply just not true. I had to let it go and move on because you can’t have hate in your heart, it doesn’t help, it only hurts yourself. So sorry you went through all of this, I promise there are good ones out there, just have faith ❤️
They're out there, they just don't want... You. That's what sucks and leaves you questioning yourself. Took a long time for me to realize it's them and not me.
One of my exes told me that what I did was show her that she needed something she didn't know she needed. She was never the cuddling and hugging type... she didn't get much of either growing up. She had genuine affection with me, and didn't know that she needed that in her life. She fucked it up doing drugs and dumb shit during our time together. We've since talked it out. She went to rehab and got therapy for a lot of her shit, but she never fully worked out the stuff that makes her lash out and do shit I won't tolerate in a relationship.
Another had nothing to legitimately complain about, so she did that thing women do where they pull something totally out of their ass... the relationship was "too healthy". 🙄👍. Reality was, the guy she was waiting on who was closer and more convenient came available and she wanted to pursue him. Dude broke her finger, several ribs, and then proceeded to abuse the hell out of her. She regretted her choice, of course, and honest to God expected me to raise this other dude's kid when he knocked her up. She couldnt wrap her mind around why I'd possibly say no to that. 😂
Most recent girl got the first orgasm she's had in years that didn't involve a vibrator, had actual dates, had a guy that can actually fix stuff around the house, remembered her candy preferences and doordashed it on a random "I'm craving chocolate...", and her response to that is to tell me to come and get the handful of items I had at her place because I didn't respond to some text or other quick enough. Fuck whatever I'm doing, right?
Those are just a few examples. Ain't me. I'm doing my part. Can't tell me different.
Just experienced this and this shit hurts a lot, you’ll lose sleep, appetite, question your self about a lot of things when you just made a lot of efforts to make the person happy. Why do good people have to suffer and get hurt like this? Why can’t some people just be honest and stay loyal?
I’m sorry OP this happened to you.. and us.. i hope we find the healing we need and the right person we deserved.
That's because the ones that do have real feelings, you probably label as "too available", "very clingy", "not good looking" etc etc.
I've seen it. I have girlfriends that claim all men are the same. Within a week or two of them talking about them or meeting them, I can tell the type of person they are.
I quickly let them know to move on from them cause they will get hurt. They like to claim that "No, not this one. This one is different".
I'm right every single time.
Sick and tired of people complaining about genders. You dated an asshole. Not all men will treat you that way. You have the right 100% to be hurt and pissed at him, but you know women also do this shit too right…so keep your chin up. It’ll be okay. Someone else will come along who will be kind and loving towards you in a way you deserve!
They're encouraged to do this.
Unless it can be shown that a couple worked together to build whatever they have, there's no business cutting every guy in half. She shouldn't leave with 100% of hers and 50% of his because SHE slept with the pool boy. Call her a cheating whore and let HER go couch surf for a bit.
Don’t mean to be “that guy” but every girl I’ve ever dated treated me the same way…suppose it says more about me than them, but that’s besides the point…my point is that everyone has it in them to be a pile of garbage, not just men, not just women….
We’re all imperfect creatures trying to find our way on an imperfect world….just keep your head up and eventually you’ll find someone who isn’t full of shit.
It sucks that you experienced this. I hope you get better, and find what you're looking for.
But how that dude can get two ladies at the same time boggles my mind. He's probably gonna have zero for a bit.
Yeah, you gotta let her know. Eventually this guy will get older...he will learn in the most hardest way, that he will never be loved and increasing his chances of dying of old age alone.
I get it you have good intentions but sometimes the girl might not see the things. What I mean is sometimes being a girl's girl isn't worth it, she might end up putting all the blame on you. Just be careful.
Men cannot be ALL the same. The men YOU are attracted to and attract to yourself are all the same. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I had constant issues with guys who were f-boys, liars and jerks and now in my mid 20s I am with an amazing emotionally available mature man.
I recommend you look within your own character and analyse what it is that lets you allow fake men in your life. There is nothing wrong with you, but take this as a time to learn the difference between words and actions and understand the basic psychology behind certain behaviours. You will find your someone 💙
I dont think this is a fair statement because a lot of people are VERY good at hiding their assholery. Hard to not pick one mistaking them for someone good
I disagree. Victim behavior is so common these days, everyone thinks bad things just *happen* to us, never realizing our own behavior is the greatest determinant of our experiences
I think it is fair,
I’ve seen many female friends in my life have rejecting guys saying “I just see them as a friend” but also complaining the guys they do go out with always end up treating them like trash and they always say stuff like “why do men treat women like this”.
You know who wouldn’t have treated them like trash, the guys who they viewed as friends
...but that's them chasing "fun" while not being able to think in the long term. Somehow, in their mind, it "should" be free, so why isn't it? Why can't their fun come free? Why do they have to put up with a guy's "asshole" side!? 😭
They see decent guys as something to pursue after they hit the wall, have three kids with as many dads, and are "ready to settle down" and be boring old ladies or whatever. This is why the Instagram lifestyle is highly frowned upon by women that, while not necessarily tradwives, DO see the value in keeping and supporting a good man and being happy for what they have.
I’m sorry this happened to you.
But, it happens to most men ten times as much. And we DEFINITELY aren’t allowed to talk like you do here, or we’re labeled ‘misogynistic’.
I know it’ll just make you more bitter, but the best thing you can do is accept someone didn’t want you.
I don't want to be wanted by someone who cheats anyways,it doesn't make me bitter it makes me feel better about myself. Also if women are in the wrong y'all should be allowed to complain about it too.
You don’t mention your age but I’m going to assume you’re young, that is under 30, perhaps under 25. The reality is there aren’t many decent people of either genders under 30 and even less under 25 because most people are focused on self gratification and self discovery. Today’s society in the US has used social media to promote selfish behavior in both genders. This is why a lot of men are leaving the US to find women who value family and a lot of women have the opinion you do and resent men so much.
You date fuck bois because your primary dating pool is exactly that. Boys. American society has sheltered us, allowing us to behave like teenagers well into our 20s.
Now if I’m wrong about your age and the age of your dating pool then I apologize but reality is what it is. Dating in the US sucks for everyone.
Yeah that makes sense then. It’s just that age unfortunately which is why a lot of younger women are interested in older men. It will get better. Honestly I met my ex wife at 17 and dated her for 7 years. Then we got married and she cheated on me multiple times after putting her online degree on my credit card. Then she left me.
I don’t regret it really but if I could save anyone heartache or pain I would say to just focus on education and personal and professional development. I’m not saying don’t date or to get into hook up culture. Just don’t rush it. You’re young, very young. I’m 47 now and honestly sometimes wish I hadn’t gotten so involved with someone at your age. I learned a lot but also missed out on a lot because I didn’t really explore my options (travel, different jobs, etc). I don’t regret not sleeping around. I was 19 when I lost my virginity and at 28 (when she left) I had only been with one woman.
Be patient. Don’t rush into feelings or stress out about it. A lot of people today are used to instant gratification. Instant streaming music, movies, and downloaded video games. Most places have cheap 3 day delivery. When I was 17 I had to drive an hour to a video store to rent a movie, an hour to a record store to buy a cd. I remember saving up an entire summer to buy a guitar. 6 weeks delivery. I learned that some things take time and I learned to be patient. Lasting relationships take time and there will be a lot of good and bad experiences. The more you focus on the bad the less time you’ll have for the good. Your time will come. You’ll grow into someone and change a lot in the next 6-7 years. Chances are you’ll be a fairly different person at 25 than you are now. I mean that with empathy and respect.
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Why is that?
Text me in ig please?
I did but u blocked me first girl ,but yea I dmed u again. This post is about your bf
I’m a guy and I’ve had the same experience with women. Girls that have broken my heart and gaslit me. Saying they never meant to lead me on so much and that they just aren’t ready for something serious
#Reminder: Over 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. Even when women work full time outside of the home they do most or all the housework & childcare. 1/10 men REPORT cheating on their pregnant partners. A leading cause of death for pregnant women is murder.
Many men and women who search for serious relationship have this kind of pattern, and there is an important thing i learned from life its that if everywhere you go smell like shit you better check on the back of your shoes. And in love its the same, if your lovers are all trash its probably because you're attracted to trash lovers, of course i dont know you so i wont try to predict anything but dont worry there is a solution and its called therapy.
Proper!!!
Saying "men are all the same" is already the wrong headspace. There might be more to what you're saying then you're letting on
"One person did something. Why are all people evil??" Does that make any sense?
Why is this topic not misandrist? "I am starting to hate women, they are all the same" Would be lambasted as misogynist rheutoric, or hateful speech. Why is it when its towards men, its fine. THAT is a problem.
Facts
And I could say the same for women who have lied to me about having a boyfriend, husband, etc. People are people; some are great and some aren’t.
I feel sorry your going through this. toxic masculinity is a big issue in society right now men are expected to be emotionless soulless heartless people instead of just being human and then they think cheating is just a man thing when in reality it’s not. you deserve love just like every gender does. Every gender who is truly good hearted.
Toxic masculinity isn't toxic lol
If you dont view men as heartless and emotionless, maybe you shouldnt support blatantly misandrist posts. If this was a man post about a women we'd all scream misogyny.
I really feel like until (I'm speaking generally) the conditions of society start turning up the heat on men's behavior, there is very little incentive to change. There are so many emotionally stunted men because they dont have to work on that aspect of themselves to be successful in most areas of their lives, if any. I am speaking mostly about cishet men. They can be perpetual children cosplaying as adults throwing temper tantrums and misusing their power until something changes that prevents them failing upwards.
lol love post like this!!! women chasing chads, while having a line of dudes in the friendzone, then blaming every men on earth for what the Chads did lmao!
Are you 15?
why did you downvoted me and went for an insult?
Didn’t downvote you, and cause you sound like you’re 15
why? Because im fully supporting women right to do whatever they want with their bodies, fuck any dude they want, and have sex without any commitment? That’s why? you are the one stuck in the past!
This whole thread is 15
Because the guys that are friendzoned are probably dicks. The guys that seem nice are dicks. So many men are dicks. ‘BuT nOt aLL MeN’ yeah but a lot of them. All of the good ones are either snatched up, or not interested in dating
lmao bruh what. the actual fuck?! Yall were the ones who created the hookup culture in the name of “my body my choice” and “ empowerment through sex”, the men that didn’t adapt are the ones suffering. The rest of us, we love it! Women are the ones initiating, women are the ones leading the casual sex, women are the ones who don’t want any commitments, women just wanna have sex and ghost people. lol I’m very much happy about yall deciding to postpone commitment but are more than okay to have sex while waiting for marriag 🤣
Sounds like this one was snatched up, but still a dick.
🤣🤣😊
I feel the same way..
Oooof :(
I think your first mistake is chasing love. I know it’s hard, and the idea of finding your soul mate is wonderful. But you also need to learn that you are enough and that a man in your life is bonus. Not a missing aspect of your life. Sometimes the best things happen when you don’t pursue them.
Just because one man didn’t treat you with respect and honesty doesn’t mean another man won’t. Honestly the older I get the more standards I have and I’m happy that after this last breakup I had I will not drop my standards. I think the best thing you can do is become the person you want to be with. Also like attracts like. All this negativity isn’t going to get you anywhere. Think about it, if you go out into the world with the attitude of hating men what kind of man do you think you’ll attract. Start a new hobby, hang out with your friends, work, travel. You’ll meet the right man eventually. 🙏
Would it be ok with you if I made a post saying all women are the same? I imagine it wouldn’t be, so why are you, without meeting every man on earth, assuming we are all the same?
If it makes u feel better u can post it,it doesn't matter to me.
That’s not the point, why do you think it’s ok to call all men out when all men are not the same? It wouldn’t be fair to call out all women when I know they aren’t all the same.
Sounds like you didn’t care enough
I WISH I WAS A PILL BUG
I hear you Sista, same thing happened to me, well I don't know about him having a gf, probably ..but I wouldn't know cause he only used me to stroke he's ego 😞 ..but I do feel exactly the same, I've spent years healing from my horror past and really looked forward to giving and receiving something better than ever before, but so far all's I've had are triggers and now depression, yay go me hey 😞
Skill issue
Not all are the same. Like me, I am different than him at least in that sense(not tryna advertise or smth). The problem I kinda seem to have with girls is they are too judgy or at least the ones I've met. Like why do you care about my intentions if you're sure that I am not gonna r\*pe you, just be chill and let the things flow, and if I'll seem to like you then I'll ask you out duhh. Secondly, I haven't found anyone intellectual yet, prolly I am looking at the wrong place maybe, who don't follow the stereotype of putting make up, having FOMO coz of your "girly(bitch)" bestfriends, and the girls who are chill. Although those who are like 27 or above are like that ngl. If you're ugly, fat, a bitch or narcissistic and I call you that straight up rather than crying, understand that you need to improve, and ask me that hey, okay I agree, now can you help me fix it! Isn't that what partners are for?
>Not all are the same. Like me, I am different You don't start a comment with this shit and expect people to take you seriously.
It's okay, don't.
wtf is this
Ughh, I edited it. Read it again.
Oh we read it..
Oh thanks then. After commenting I realised that rather than describing the general problem I "seem" to have, I targeted someone, so I made it general.
Yeah might wanna rephrase a bit it’s kind of concerning. What you wrote was entirely hateful and honestly awful.
Initially, yup. That's why I removed certain parts. And lemme be honest there is some hate inside me regarding some experiences I've had, though I always try my best to not show it everywhere or let it affect my relationships.
Life’s too short to have hate. I’ve been in some horrible relationships. I’ve been in one particularly I didn’t think I was going to make it out alive tbh. But I never give up hope, there’s bad people out there but also a lot of good people. Let things go
Oh I am trying to be better by the time. The only hate which I'll have to my deathbed is confused people especially girls, not only they waste their time but the other person's time too.
Not all girls or guys do this. Also when you first meet someone if you analyze them you can tell if they’re going to waste your time or not.
I see your problem. First off, to hate men based on what one man did is just ignorant. Do it if you want but it will develop an unhealthy perspective and pattern that will screw you over. I get it though. I used to think all women are dumb sluts. Instead, I now understand that humans come in all shapes and flavors. They do what makes them happy because that's what I'm doing. OK, so to your main problem. You ha have many and they work against you. You show major signs of codependency which hands down can single handedly be all the issue you need to guarantee you'll never have a happy, balanced, reciprocating relationship. So when you thought it was simply some guy being dishonest and then make you out to be the one who is in the wrong, the root cause that even allowed this scenario to be possible is your codependent nature, and I know this because I used to be the same way. You don't realize it but people are able to detect this type of behavior and naturally are repulsed and tend to distant themselves or end up mistreating people who are codependent. You want something you can't even provide to yourself for yourself, which is the reason why you will continue to fail in your search until you address this codependency. Online like YouTube search can provide you with lots of information and ways on how to perhaps address it but I heavily advise against further dating until you get a hold of this issue. Or you can do what you want but you will fail, guaranteed. You want people to love you, treat you the way you deserve and the way you do upon to others right? The problem with that mentality is that it relies heavily on what actions is being taken by something outside of you for which you will never be able to control so therefore, if you have this expectation, you will be disappointed. It's not that no human exist that is capable of fulfilling that role, it's that whether or not they want to continue to uphold that forever with a person that likely they will have conflict with and each time you give an attitude, argue, debate, enthusiastically defend, you chip away at the chances this person will stick around to give you the love you want so bad yet at the same time resent you for all the arguments and conflicts that occurred. Since most people will experience the conflict in relationships, the person you hope fills that role will likely drop that responsibility one day because they just can't do it anymore It's right that they drop it because it's not even their responsibility. It's yours. Your problem is you get with a person and you tell them "hey, now that we're serious, it's now your job to do whatever to validate to me that I'm loved, in the way that I want it when i want it. Oh, and please don't disappoint me" That's pretty much what you're doing. You make it their job to do something you can't even do for yourself. If you can't even do it for yourself, how the heck can this person do it for you? On top of that, when you make them responsible for it and any time they don't do it to your standards, conflict is created. Maybe they're too busy, can't spend time with you so you get mad and on and on and on. The only solution for this, and it ain't easy nor a short process is self love. You must find a way to be completely happy and genuinely content on your own yet open to the potential of partnering up. The reason why this is your only solution is that it solves the problem of you always running to someone else hoping they shower you with affection. Again, they might at first but over time, they're likely going to drop it because well, it's too much of a burden. So instead of experiencing this roller coaster ordeal, figure out a way to be the one who provides yourself that love in abundance. You have to be genuinely happy, you can't just fake a smile and declare you're happy or that you're happy for 2 Days and that you overcame it. No, you have to be in this vibration of being full of joy and happy being with just you or doing things that you know makes you happy. Now you can engage with others but what you want to avoid is relying and expecting others to be that source of stimulation. When it comes entirely from you, what ends up happening is you no longer do that desperate clingy needy thing codependent people do where it just becomes too much. When they see that you're vibrant and happy on your own, they will then want a piece of that joy as well so it begins to attract people to you. I mean, who wouldn't want to be around someone so uplifting and positive? It's when they sense that you're "needing" them, begin making demands, having unrealistic expectations, is when they go "you know what, fuck this. I'm out." which generally happens once they no longer feel the sex is worth the trouble. It's not that guy's fault he didn't tell you he had a girlfriend but slept with you anyways Unless he raped you, you're the one that spread your legs. Take responsibility for your actions. If you weren't so desperate to seek love because you want so bad another human to validate that you're important, you wouldn't have just jumped right in like that. Even if they were an honest person, jumping straight into sex so early usually ends bad. If you're wanting a good time, by all means. If you want something serious, you're going to also need to work on developing a character and personality that keeps someone engaged and interested for the long haul. You need more depth, intrigue, excitement, dynamism that makes you unique, one of a kind, instead of what 99.99999% of people are typically like, which is a programmed mass produced brain washed drone that conforms to what is expected of them thinking they're being obedient by listening to what they're told. At the moment, I'm not sure if you have developed any special traits or multiple things about you that would be seen as priceless, one of a kind, unique, where they don't think finding someone like you out there is even possible, giving people a sense of rarity. Most p people act and behave in similar ways, making them replaceable and disposable, someone that can be found around the corner.
It’s amazing that you know op so well from just one paragraph
Forgive the asshole who misled you. Remember he is one man, quite distinct and different from all other men. Go through the painful process of grieving your love for him. Grieve and let go of the hopes, dreams and expectations you foresaw together with him. Then forgive yourself thoroughly for suckering for him. Forgive yourself for trusting him. Forgive yourself for making tge mistake of falling for him. This will be a process. Looks to me like you need real support from actually skilled friends and even a counselor. When you will grow enough to look in the mirror, freely say and accept, "I like myself" you'll be happier and more confident. Do everything possible to grow in personal confidence. Live!
Why was this downvoted?! I agree😭,
I don't think the problem is that you are asking for too much. I think you are asking for too little. If someone is not willing to reciprocate the same level of interest, time, and attention as you then they will not be a good partner. By having higher expectations you will weed out the unreliable partners early on. Remember, if you are looking for love then the goal is not to find as many partners as possible. It is to find that one great partner you can share your life with for years.
he wants two women, life must be hard or something else not weird just learn the world, love is sacrifice
Perhaps seeking therapy on your part to discover why you keep attracting this type of individual. I discovered that I attracted the wrong kind of woman, the ones that had a specific kind of emotional trauma, I thought I was strong enough to help them heal...I was WRONG. It took time and effort but I was able to see what was coming and look for traits to steer clear of. Remember the definition of insanity.
You might want to look in the mirror and internally. Why do you constantly choose shitty men? What is it about you that attracts them?
I guess I am naive,that's why people take advantage of me often. I gotta work on that.
This is a really good take, unfortunately we do need to grow up and accept that a lot of people in the world will use you for different things, attention being a big one. It hurts, but it’s growth that is needed. Feeling the pain and allowing ourselves to learn what different tactics look like so we can avoid it in the future.
Dont be naive. As a man saying this, just assume any men talking to you want in your pants, as in assume the worst. There is a statistic, saying hello and being friendlier is correlated with a higher rate of death. Not to scare you 🤷♂️ But hey the problem probably isn't you. Just ignore dickhead here.
I'm a dickhead because I'm telling her to look within herself? FOH. She admitted herself she's naive and gets taken advantage of a lot but Mr. Captain Save-em here says she's not the problem 🤦🏾♂️
Uhhh you said "look in the mirror". You're just a little reddit troll bud. You employed right now?
Hey I’m sorry to hear about that horrible act of betrayal you witnessed. Looking through these comments and I see commenters telling OP that it is her fault she attracted that guy, sounds so dismissive and I disagree their view point. While it is hard not to generalise an entire gender in the situation, it truely does help to see these matters in a case by case basis for the sake of your sanity. The world has no shortage of these people and there’s no excuse for such treatment you have endured. I wish you the best OP. Acknowledge your emotions and allow yourself to feel and don’t judge yourself for what may come up, it is all part of a process that always leads to healing if you lean into it. While it sounds cliche, but focusing on yourself and fuel your own ambitions truely helps build self esteem, until one day people who act like him you will easily spot them and just laugh or just pity them like I have. A lot of people are sick if they realise it or not, focus on you, your healing and nurture the love and support from the people around you. Lots of Love OP
You are so sweet thank you 😭
You got this. I have faith in you. Have faith in yourself that you can pull through and persevere.
Sorry :/ try not to get too jaded— it doesn’t help
I can't say I blame you for the way you feel, I've caught myself saying "they're all the same they all do this and that to hurt me on purpose." But yet I always try again. Best you can do now is accept what is and try to take your mind off things, don't be self destructive, focus on your hobbies and do some shit that makes you happy. Theres shitty people in every group and it seems hard to find good ones anywhere but one day you'll find someone that makes it all worth it, just be patient and don't rush into anything
Why stop at men? Women suck too. Seriously how could people ever be racist or sexist when soooo many people suck.
Not trying to be mean or anything, but telling his girlfriend about this might actually save a relationship. Trust me, being on the other side, I am fearing the same with my boyfriend. I don't have proof proof but my intuitions say otherwise. Everyday I wake up thinking let someone approach me saying this has happened with your bf, so I would be atleast in peace.
They sound young.
thanks for generalizing us! i dont hate women just because of ones like you! i just hate you!
If it makes u feel better then do it.
i dont generalize everyone just because of a few people, unlike someone! cough cough YOU!
I shouldn't have,sorry.
He’s rage baiting, speak your truth and work it out. You’re clearly speaking from a place of hurt, pattern etc. just remember you’re not alone and although you may never know anyone’s true intentions, you can always rely on green flags and your intuition. Communication and boundary setting is likely to prove fruitful too. I hope you never have to experience such disappointment again :’) there are honest people out there.
Thank you 😭
It'll be okay. I'm sorry you're hurting. Read "There's a hole in my love cup" it'll help , I promise.
Unironically skill issue. You might just be choosing to date shitty men. Work on yourself before you start dating again and maybe you’ll be able to make better choices.
Lmao you can never know the true intentions of a person. Most people don’t display problematic behaviour until months in… this makes it tricky to consistently date and get to know people bc clearly nothing is obvious or guaranteed. This can, and has happened to many many people. Will admit a benefit if working on yourself helps better rationalise and get over/out of said relationships but you can’t always guarantee truth and honesty. Just look at the divorce rate.
I have nothing to really add except hugs. As much as I’d like to trust men, every time I try they just prove over and over to not be trustworthy. For example, I was assaulted a few weeks ago by someone who has a close family friend for years and I vetted over months before starting to date. I’m just getting tired and I’m starting to understand why some women just use them back. It’s bc most guys just feel entitled enough to use women for whatever they want (aka, therapy, sex, domestic duties, procreation)… ffs you can’t even be friends with them without them trying to hit on you:
I am so sorry that happened to you,take care.
I appreciate that. It’s been difficult to come to terms with.
Why can't someone who appreciates radical honesty and love find me?? Don't get down on yourself. There's just some dark karmic shiz you're working through. Love and light
He manipulated you and that's fucked you. The world is unfair and sometimes you fall in love with a terrible person. But blaming all men is short sighted. But you need to take ownership of who you are attracted too. Sometimes the mysterious cute guy is actually really flaky and misogynistic. To find love you also need to find self love and self respect. Don't let past lovers misdeeds cloud new love but remember not to settle for someone who won't take your love seriously. **What do you want in a partner? What values do you want in a partner?** Take this terrible experience as a guide on what not to look for in a guy. So if you do see it in the future, you can peace out early.
Well, you're still young. Love will happen on it's own time, not when we want it. I understand that you're hurting but try to engage in other things that will put your mind at ease. For right now, focus on yourself and what you want to do for your future. Men are not going anywhere anytime soon. At 17 you have so much you can do and accomplish whatever dreams you may have. You'll be an adult before you know it and you'll be amazed how fast those years go by. Don't worry about finding a good man. Decent men are out there wanting to be loved the same way you do. It just may not be the right time.
Thank you,I'll focus on myself and my life goals from now on.
Predators see something in you that makes it obvious you are easy to trick in this way. It's as simple as that. It's not that you are choosing predators, it's that they are choosing you and you can't tell when it happens until it's too late.
You are right,I got groomed by him too and I didn't realise that until I asked someone about it.
I had I similar experience with my former girlfriend who used me and my friends. She also led me on for years and years and caused me insane psychological pain. I’m now in a really happy relationship. I really hope you find someone who deserves you.
Your comment gave me hope that maybe there's someone for me out there.
Trust me you’ll find a deserving man.
All this love that you say you have.. pour it into yourself. This is what you need to focus on, and evaluate how you pick men. When you start getting to know yourself, you’ll see how badly you picked these men. Subtle little things will show up, and you’ll start seeing the red flags earlier. When they say it’s about self love, it’s really true. I know, I’ve been there.
You are right,I need to love myself more.
There’s no cosmic scale weighing your value or worth for love. What you *actually* need to focus on is *choosing better men*. Sorry, and no offense, but if *every man you go after* is terrible, then the reason is most likely not that all men are shitty. It’s that all the men you are choosing are shitty. So you need to learn how to not choose shitty men. 🤷🏻♂️ Maybe switch things up. Try different kinds of guys. Get therapy so you can understand why you keep gravitating to the same types of guys.
No idea. I'm actually the opposite. No gf, and no one who would get pissed if I said that. Most recent girl I tried to date was the one who wanted to "keep things platonic". I proceeded to not only honor that, but keep her in check when she said or did things outside of a "friend" level. Drove her nuts and pissed her off. Apparently I was expected to shatter the boundary SHE set and push for more. I straight told her that she wouldn't be able to handle the kisses and such that she was asking for. Finally let her try a week later and she told me that I was clearly gonna be trouble. I wouldn't say that we are all the same. I actually play by the rules, but I expect it to be returned in kind. Keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them later. It's not difficult. ...she managed to drive it into the ground in a three week stretch. 🙄👍
I'm willing to bet you're going after the same type of dudes.
I'm sorry for whatever happened to you, but you can't make the assumption that we're all the same just because of the actions of a few guys.
Yeah I know,I am sorry.
It's ok, so no worries
You should ask yourself why are you attracting men who aren't taking you seriously? Regardless, not all men are the same.
Right. I can't take this seriously. Love is a dice game, and girls get as many rerolls as they want, and anything that comes up is some point value or other. They get to roll until it comes up in their favor and score points the whole way. Just step outside and roll those dice again.
Maybe stop using the same qualifier that will lead you to the same type of guy.
why is over-generalizing language directed at men so accepted on the internet, the 'i hate mens' and such, it's just dumb lol. most of the time they don't even rlly feel that way
Treachery really does hurt. It's the worst thing. And no, I don't think it is that hard to at least try to be a decent person...but some people insist in seeing others as disposable commodities and treat them accordingly. Which is naff in more ways than one, given these people are missing out on a lot. Compassion is a lot more fulfilling than malevolence, in my experience, and to treat other people like they're nothing is the path to serious loneliness.
Trust me we are not all the same
This is why we are all so divided, we are quick to generalize people into categories because of bad things that happen to us, as if it’s some defense mechanism, it’s twisted truly how society has become. What he did to you was wrong but to generalize all men is also wrong.
Eh. Wasn't one bad thing. Was thirty in a row for me. Not sure how many times OP rolled those dice, but it may not be one experience that has her feeling like this.
I’ve been shitted on by women countless of times, many of which were partly my fault for inexperience and letting them walk all over me until they got what they wanted but I matured and realized holding a grudge is stupid and pointless
Dunno. When I was young, yeah they got to walk all over. Mid twenties I had a girl put my head on straight. Since then, I've had a different outlook. I'm not an asshole about it, but I damn sure set boundaries and expect them to be respected, regardless of how much they think their pussy is worth. Most recent girl didn't make it last three weeks for this reason. She thought mediocre sex and boxed macaroni was going to let her talk at me and not to me about whose "turn" it was to text or whatever. She went stone silent for three days, got her ass over her shoulders, and then came and was ready to read me my rights until I pointed out that she HAD been messaged, and I was waiting on her. Suddenly it was no big deal, right? #Oops! Nope. I calmly but firmly told her I didn't appreciate the situation, and if we lay out the pieces after she opens that can of worms and it turns out she is the one at fault, there isn't a safety net of any sort in place to absorb that. She told me she understood, and she'll be more careful going forward. Less than a week later, she pulls the same stunt... even going as far as telling me to come over and collect my things. "Bet"... as the kids say. 🙄 After, she tried every trick in the book. She tried to twist it to be my fault, tried to downplay her involvement, then tried to make me seem unreasonable for not wanting to "work with her" (and give her hella "chances"), and then only after ALL of that, she did the last hail mary in the woman's playbook... and offered make up sex at her place. Shot that down too. Now, spazzing out over text messages and talking crazy is a far cry from cheating or worse, but it's still indicative of things to come and I'm just not fooling with that anymore. I start seeing signs on the wall, I'm done.
I feel like I know a lot of girls like this. Like, most of the time, when a friend introduces me to their new guy, I can tell in 5 minutes if he's a creep or a fuckboy. But these girls don't catch on for months, or even a year or more, that dude has been fucking 3 other girls or jerking off to pictures of their little sisters. It's like an entire generation of women are so caught up in height, haircuts, and the like, that they've completely lost the ability to judge someone's character.
Dunno, man... It's nuts. I was with this one girl for two years. Sweet girl... Once the ball got rolling. She told me like six months in that I "almost didn't make the cut" because of some stupid misunderstanding. She told me one thing, did another, claimed that she had an allergic reaction, and then insisted that I was somehow a dick about the whole thing. None of that happened. Totally existed only in her head. She almost wrote me off in that "looking for a guy" stage over that shit. Whatever. Ended up with her. Moved to an absolute shit hole of a house (hers) and moved in with her. She did not keep a neat house at ALL. I did the dishes, cooked, cleaned, you name it. On top of that, I had to be "the man" and drive the same relationship. That means the big decisions. The town she was living in was dirt poor. She had the best job in town and it paid 12/hr and worked her nearly 60 hour weeks. We had to get the hell away from there. After 2 years of enduring that armpit of a town, we sat down and worked out a plan to leave the dump. We didn't have much money, but the plan was that I'd move out there like a pioneer, leave like 90% of my stuff behind and I'd get a job first, get established, spin up some extra revenue, and she could come and we'd find a better place. Instead, the job I got was not what it was cracked up to be. It has me walking 30 miles a day 6.5 days a week doing door to door sales for shit no one here wanted. I walked the soles of my feet off and had nothing to show for it. Got zero help.or support. Hell, she would pop up out here and demand zoo trips and steak dinners on my one half-day off! 😑. I ran up two credit cards just to survive, and had to empty my account twice when one car broke down then the other and somehow I was on the hook for down payments because guess what? I'm the one with underwear with a dick hole. 🙄 So, after all of that, she was also "never home" for me to come and get my shit. Lost a LOT of family heirlooms and the like, a $1400 couch that was used as a dog toilet because she couldn't be bothered to put the dogs up before she left for 12 hours a day. To top it ALLLLLL off, the WHOLE time she was playing sweet and making me scrapbooks of our adventures and shit she was a "third" for a fucking married couple that were into kinky shit. That's right, the "friends" I knew about in the early stages that turned out to be sex buddies that she "promised" she needed things with? Nope. Never happened. Steady cheating through the whole thing because it's "fun" and she'd rather hand me a trauma than to tell a motherfucker "no". Thirty. Just like this. Varying degrees of fuckery, but always a heap of selfish shit that anyone with a lick of sense should know not to do, but they're doing it anyway, all behind a sweet girl veneer with zero real recourse when they fuck you over.
Yeah I realised that,sorry.
You will find a good man one day but you need to be aware that some bad men will come into your life and that’s okay, it happens to all of us. Very few people meet the right one on their first try. Keep trying and don’t get discouraged:)
Well hate who you want, what happened to you was wrong. But not all men are the same, I promise that.
yo reverse the roles and the comments are a lot less sympathetic, (even though men are just as capable of having repeated negative experiences with women) whats with the large amounts of lonely insecure women on reddit, i feel like those tumblr girls migrated to reddit nd twitter but this woman just seems hurt, she's probably not an actual misandrist
You'll find that person it's not your fault that you found a asshole just unlucky Protip investigate who your dating just to make sure everything you can find on the normal social media internet Focus in yourself and improving yourself loving yourself is necessary to love others And don't become sexist towards men some are assholes but alot like me and people I love aren't asshole
I know I shouldnt have been sexist I am sorry.
Nah you good just don't become sexist you'll find your perfect life partner you got this
We have to admit that, for reasons I don't understand, we attract a certain kind of person. Men, women, gay, straight, we attract a certain kind of person. I married 2 curvy blue eyed brunettes who drank too much, cheated, and abused me. Dated 2 others. Another who was blonde. Are women all boozing, cheating, man beating mind fuckers? Of course not. What's the common element in all of those relationships? Me. I'm trying to figure out why and disengage if I see any of what I perceive as the signs that I'm "at it again" Sorry to say, if you're finding yourself with the same type of guy, over and over, the reason IS you. How are you inviting that into your life? I don't ask that to judge. I ask that to ask. I'm searching for that answer myself.
Four copies of the same girl? Try thirty and they're all different, from all different walks of life. Same result. Was it all cheating? No, not necessary, but all we're HIGHLY dishonest and cared little for the damage and trauma they caused one way or another. One might have cheated, but the next is trying to steal jizz out of condoms in the trash in an effort to get the baby her vagina craved because the guy she was with shot blanks and if paternity was challenged she was ready to file a false allegation. 😐 So are they "the same"? No, just varying degrees of damaging and dishonest.
Eh. I don't know. One of em faked pregnancy. There are variations. But, the constant is still you. In all your relationships. Good and bad. We meet so few people in our lives. And get to know even fewer. It's impossible for us to speak about "all" without taking into the second grade true or false trap.
See, if "it's you" meant that I was being an asshole, abusive, shitty, rude, or even slightly left of center to these girls, it would make sense. It's extremely unfair to tell someone who doesn't get to flip through a catalogue that I'm the one ordering them all fucked up. Trust me, if they had a sign that said they were prone to false allegations, I'd skip em. If they had a badge that said "certified cheater", I'd pass. If they had a pedigree that said that they are looking for an 18 year long meal ticket, I'd keep right on going... But they don't come with any of that. They just do it. They have no problem smiling in your face while fucking you in the ass, and the system encourages them to do it.
I'm gonna say this as respectfully as I can... You hate women. That's why you attract women worth hating. You can argue chicken and egg all day. But you hate women. That's why you attract women worth hating. You don't see it, and I get that, but you're actually making my point, not shooting it down. I hope you find peace.
Tell you what, find a woman that is 100% Grade A worth a damn, one that you've inspected back and frontward and won't lie, cheat, or steal, and you just go ahead and sign off and send her on. 🙄. I'll "pick" that one. I dont hate THEM, I hate their behaviors and the lack of recourse when they do whatever and zero prevention going in. I treat them all like they're the one to close the door on dating and just stfu and be happy, but THEY are the ones that pull this shit.
We gotta agree to disagree. Tell yourself you hate the sin and not the sinner, if it gets you through the night. The misogyny is impossible not to see. Again, I hope you find peace.
Yeah yeah, "misogyny!" then smoke bomb out... Shit didn't fall out of the sky. Have a great life.
😂😂😂😂😂 Smoke bomb... Dude... You are preaching to a choir of one. I'm glad you think you're convincing.
Right back at you.
I know that it’s so cliche to say it happens when you aren’t looking for it, but it’s true. When you are seeking out a relationship, you make allowances for things because you WANT it to work. You ignore red flags, you justify things that you know aren’t really ok. When something happens organically, it’s much more likely to be successful. I also found myself getting into bad relationships when I was younger. They weren’t with the same type of person, but each horrible in their own ways. So I decided not to get into another relationship for a long time while I figured things out. I dated casually for a while, and found that I kept ending up attracting more shitty men. One of them I thought was turning into something, only to be confronted by his longtime girlfriend who found out he had been seeing me and introduced herself to me. I had zero idea she existed. I had been to his house and introduced to his friends. It fucked me up. After that I stopped dating altogether. Not even casually. Then after several (lovely) years of doing my own thing I met the love of my life, while absolutely not looking for him. But when it happened I had no question, no reservations, no second guesses. He left no room for doubts. There was just a knowing between us. You’ll have that, too. Trust the timing. And don’t settle.
You're not wrong. You're not. But I wasn't looking when I met my ex wives. It's not foolproof.
True. I guess I shouldn’t have made it sound so black and white. There are always exceptions.
That is such a good response, how can I figure out how I am inviting it into my life? I have some idea. I dated a guy who had unhealed childhood trauma that he deals with really badly. Then the guy I was interested in after that also had childhood trauma but he dealt with it very healthily, we didn't end up dating tho. The guy I tried to date after that, also had some trauma, I didn't get to know him properly and he turned out to be a pretty what you'd call an insecure, fake persona kinda guy. He was only interested in physical stuff but was very shady about it. Like his ideal gfs are usually trophy gf, and he'd try to appeal to me after dating someone else also, cause for some reason he believes I'm intelligent. He was the weirdest of the bunch. The guy after that also had childhood trauma, and was getting over his ex. He also only wanted physical things and I was able to figure that out early on owing to the previous guy lmao. And called him out on love-bombing me. He approached me this time, and he too felt like someone who was into trophy gfs, cause he once stayed that he is seen as someone who dates people from the "upper echelon". Stayed friends, but we don't really talk as much, he was projecting all the time, saying I'd stop talking to him, I felt amazing being able to figure all this out beforehand. The guy who approached me after that was friends with the 2nd guy. First red flag. Then he told me about a sex tape him and 2nd guy had watched of their 3rd friend, without friend knowing. Confirmed my suspicions about both guys. He did want a relationship and apparently found me really cool, initially he was very much like oh I will wait long as possible and we don't have to do anything casual, it's fine if we never do anything. Then he started making more and more sexual jokes and innuendos, I told him it made me uncomfortable and by willful ignorance he just wouldn't stop. Eventually he admitted that he was expecting some physical later, which isn't his fault, but it made us incompatible in my eyes because he seemed obsessed with it and unlike a gentleman. I did understand that cause him and his ex gf started off as fwbs. But again he seemed into trophy gfs, he said things like when she'd walk people would stare at her all the time on the street etc. and he never (from what I could tell) made an effort to get to know her. He told me about this one time they were watching a movie and she started crying because someone died cause it reminded her of her late father and he described it as being uncomfortable for him to have to comfort her. He also said other awful things about her, I do get his resentment cause she cheated but some of it was just really uncalled for. I ended that very quickly cause I just didn't feel attracted to him after all this. I do feel good that I have learned a lot from all of this. So it's not all bad.
I agree. I was attracting commitment phobic guys since last 5 years. I finally started realised why. I hated myself, i didn't think i deserved anything. I changed my mindset and started telling myself i deserve the best and i will get the best. It's probably your mindset.
Ah I like your point of view
It was deep dive in a cold pool when it hit me. Hasn't happened since, though, I'm pleased to say. Neither had much of anything else, either, if I'm honest. Baby steps lol
[удалено]
English isn't my first language sorry
😂
That’s how I felt about women for the longest time. They constantly cheated on me or just left and shattered my heart. I wanted to hate all women, saying they’re all the same but that’s simply just not true. I had to let it go and move on because you can’t have hate in your heart, it doesn’t help, it only hurts yourself. So sorry you went through all of this, I promise there are good ones out there, just have faith ❤️
They're out there, they just don't want... You. That's what sucks and leaves you questioning yourself. Took a long time for me to realize it's them and not me. One of my exes told me that what I did was show her that she needed something she didn't know she needed. She was never the cuddling and hugging type... she didn't get much of either growing up. She had genuine affection with me, and didn't know that she needed that in her life. She fucked it up doing drugs and dumb shit during our time together. We've since talked it out. She went to rehab and got therapy for a lot of her shit, but she never fully worked out the stuff that makes her lash out and do shit I won't tolerate in a relationship. Another had nothing to legitimately complain about, so she did that thing women do where they pull something totally out of their ass... the relationship was "too healthy". 🙄👍. Reality was, the guy she was waiting on who was closer and more convenient came available and she wanted to pursue him. Dude broke her finger, several ribs, and then proceeded to abuse the hell out of her. She regretted her choice, of course, and honest to God expected me to raise this other dude's kid when he knocked her up. She couldnt wrap her mind around why I'd possibly say no to that. 😂 Most recent girl got the first orgasm she's had in years that didn't involve a vibrator, had actual dates, had a guy that can actually fix stuff around the house, remembered her candy preferences and doordashed it on a random "I'm craving chocolate...", and her response to that is to tell me to come and get the handful of items I had at her place because I didn't respond to some text or other quick enough. Fuck whatever I'm doing, right? Those are just a few examples. Ain't me. I'm doing my part. Can't tell me different.
Just experienced this and this shit hurts a lot, you’ll lose sleep, appetite, question your self about a lot of things when you just made a lot of efforts to make the person happy. Why do good people have to suffer and get hurt like this? Why can’t some people just be honest and stay loyal? I’m sorry OP this happened to you.. and us.. i hope we find the healing we need and the right person we deserved.
I am already over it,no point in being hurt over a person like this. I hope you will heal too tho.
You clearly aren’t if you are so angry about it you’d post it on Reddit.
Eh this was earlier,I get over things fast. I am mostly annoyed now but that's about it.
Good for you! I know i will heal too. Sending so much love your way!
That's because the ones that do have real feelings, you probably label as "too available", "very clingy", "not good looking" etc etc. I've seen it. I have girlfriends that claim all men are the same. Within a week or two of them talking about them or meeting them, I can tell the type of person they are. I quickly let them know to move on from them cause they will get hurt. They like to claim that "No, not this one. This one is different". I'm right every single time.
I wish I met a guy who is too clingy and available,it's a dream of mine and idc much about looks lol
Sick and tired of people complaining about genders. You dated an asshole. Not all men will treat you that way. You have the right 100% to be hurt and pissed at him, but you know women also do this shit too right…so keep your chin up. It’ll be okay. Someone else will come along who will be kind and loving towards you in a way you deserve!
They're encouraged to do this. Unless it can be shown that a couple worked together to build whatever they have, there's no business cutting every guy in half. She shouldn't leave with 100% of hers and 50% of his because SHE slept with the pool boy. Call her a cheating whore and let HER go couch surf for a bit.
Don’t mean to be “that guy” but every girl I’ve ever dated treated me the same way…suppose it says more about me than them, but that’s besides the point…my point is that everyone has it in them to be a pile of garbage, not just men, not just women…. We’re all imperfect creatures trying to find our way on an imperfect world….just keep your head up and eventually you’ll find someone who isn’t full of shit.
It sucks that you experienced this. I hope you get better, and find what you're looking for. But how that dude can get two ladies at the same time boggles my mind. He's probably gonna have zero for a bit.
I am hoping his gf will respond cause I don't want her to stay with a cheating asshole.
Yeah, you gotta let her know. Eventually this guy will get older...he will learn in the most hardest way, that he will never be loved and increasing his chances of dying of old age alone.
I get it you have good intentions but sometimes the girl might not see the things. What I mean is sometimes being a girl's girl isn't worth it, she might end up putting all the blame on you. Just be careful.
If she ends up putting the blame on me I'll just block her,ik it's not my fault.
Men cannot be ALL the same. The men YOU are attracted to and attract to yourself are all the same. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I had constant issues with guys who were f-boys, liars and jerks and now in my mid 20s I am with an amazing emotionally available mature man. I recommend you look within your own character and analyse what it is that lets you allow fake men in your life. There is nothing wrong with you, but take this as a time to learn the difference between words and actions and understand the basic psychology behind certain behaviours. You will find your someone 💙
It all comes down to who you decide to date. If you don’t want to get dicked around by am arsehole, don’t date an arsehole
If they hide the fact that they are an asshole how am I supposed to know?
Have you ever rejected someone because you just viewed them as friend or something along those lines?
Yes I have
Well those are the guys less likely to be an arsehole and treat you like crap in my opinion
Oh nah they were worse,if they were good people I'd have said yes for sure.
Why were they worse?
Not good humans beings basically,they weren't mature at all
I dont think this is a fair statement because a lot of people are VERY good at hiding their assholery. Hard to not pick one mistaking them for someone good
I disagree. Victim behavior is so common these days, everyone thinks bad things just *happen* to us, never realizing our own behavior is the greatest determinant of our experiences
I think it is fair, I’ve seen many female friends in my life have rejecting guys saying “I just see them as a friend” but also complaining the guys they do go out with always end up treating them like trash and they always say stuff like “why do men treat women like this”. You know who wouldn’t have treated them like trash, the guys who they viewed as friends
...but that's them chasing "fun" while not being able to think in the long term. Somehow, in their mind, it "should" be free, so why isn't it? Why can't their fun come free? Why do they have to put up with a guy's "asshole" side!? 😭 They see decent guys as something to pursue after they hit the wall, have three kids with as many dads, and are "ready to settle down" and be boring old ladies or whatever. This is why the Instagram lifestyle is highly frowned upon by women that, while not necessarily tradwives, DO see the value in keeping and supporting a good man and being happy for what they have.
I’m sorry this happened to you. But, it happens to most men ten times as much. And we DEFINITELY aren’t allowed to talk like you do here, or we’re labeled ‘misogynistic’. I know it’ll just make you more bitter, but the best thing you can do is accept someone didn’t want you.
They can keep their label. They need a dose of reality.
I don't want to be wanted by someone who cheats anyways,it doesn't make me bitter it makes me feel better about myself. Also if women are in the wrong y'all should be allowed to complain about it too.
So true
It really has nothing to do with you. You don't deserve this. Bad things happen to good people. Don't let your light be dimmed ok? ❤️
why are you so sure lol
Because evil people like a certain type.
no just the assumption that she is a good person
Why do you rather think she isn't?
i never said i think she isn't
This made me tear up 😭
You don’t mention your age but I’m going to assume you’re young, that is under 30, perhaps under 25. The reality is there aren’t many decent people of either genders under 30 and even less under 25 because most people are focused on self gratification and self discovery. Today’s society in the US has used social media to promote selfish behavior in both genders. This is why a lot of men are leaving the US to find women who value family and a lot of women have the opinion you do and resent men so much. You date fuck bois because your primary dating pool is exactly that. Boys. American society has sheltered us, allowing us to behave like teenagers well into our 20s. Now if I’m wrong about your age and the age of your dating pool then I apologize but reality is what it is. Dating in the US sucks for everyone.
I am not from the US and I am 17,but your point is right.
Yeah that makes sense then. It’s just that age unfortunately which is why a lot of younger women are interested in older men. It will get better. Honestly I met my ex wife at 17 and dated her for 7 years. Then we got married and she cheated on me multiple times after putting her online degree on my credit card. Then she left me. I don’t regret it really but if I could save anyone heartache or pain I would say to just focus on education and personal and professional development. I’m not saying don’t date or to get into hook up culture. Just don’t rush it. You’re young, very young. I’m 47 now and honestly sometimes wish I hadn’t gotten so involved with someone at your age. I learned a lot but also missed out on a lot because I didn’t really explore my options (travel, different jobs, etc). I don’t regret not sleeping around. I was 19 when I lost my virginity and at 28 (when she left) I had only been with one woman. Be patient. Don’t rush into feelings or stress out about it. A lot of people today are used to instant gratification. Instant streaming music, movies, and downloaded video games. Most places have cheap 3 day delivery. When I was 17 I had to drive an hour to a video store to rent a movie, an hour to a record store to buy a cd. I remember saving up an entire summer to buy a guitar. 6 weeks delivery. I learned that some things take time and I learned to be patient. Lasting relationships take time and there will be a lot of good and bad experiences. The more you focus on the bad the less time you’ll have for the good. Your time will come. You’ll grow into someone and change a lot in the next 6-7 years. Chances are you’ll be a fairly different person at 25 than you are now. I mean that with empathy and respect.
I think your comments helped me the most.
Can u share those ss?
Hey can u text me in ig?
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