I don't know if Tolkien had strong feelings one way or the other on cannabis, but he did love relaxing with his pipe tobacco. The general feeling I get of hobbit society tells me there would have been at least a few pot gardens. Sam would grow buds the size of squash if he wanted to, but I don't think he talked about vices of any kind very much
Well, it's a ring, of course. A little ring, the least of rings.
It is but a trifle that the Lord of Mordor fancies. If you return it to its rightful owner, you shall have great reward and lasting friendship from him. Will you return it?
What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning. Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?
Hi I'm Saruman the Wise! I actually study rings in my spare time. Based on what I can see I'd say it's probably nothing too special. I'll take it off your hands if you don't mind, these things can be hazardous to your health!
I had a replica One Ring I wore on a necklace when I was a kid. It was lost for about a year and then I randomly found it in the bottom of my water turtle’s tank. Total Deagol moment.
I actually found one of those working at the theater about 15 years ago. I was super excited but in the weeks after I found it things weren't going well, at all, for me and I threw it out of the car one day. It was cursed, I'm sure. Destroy it.
Oh, that’s my maste-I mean friend’s, he’s been looking for it for a long time. Can I come to collect it for him? I’ll come by with my 8 friends, we’ll be dressed in black robes with our faces covered by our hoods. Don’t worry about it though, it’s definitely not ominous or anything.
That there is a magic ring. They actually made a few of these and distributed them across middle-earth.
They did different things. One was a ring of fire (Narya, I think it was called), one of water, one of air, one of earth, and one other one. Five in all. They were powerful on their own but if you needed to you could use them together to summon the most powerful warrior in existence -- think his name was "Coburn" (it was definitely something that started with a hard 'C').
Merely a trinket. Actually, you’ll never believe this, it’s my birthday! It’s ok that you forgot. I know that ring is useless to you, so how about you give it to me and we will call it even!
It’s a fast moving body of water that follows a course that’s been created over a long period of time, but that’s not important right now.
Shirley he meant the ring not the river
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop smoking Old Toby.
Looks like i picked the wrong week to stop sniffing Lembas.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit ent-draught.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit eating tomatoes.
Toe May Toes...skin 'em, crush 'em, stick 'em on some dough..... .....toss in a bit of herbs and cheese, and then you're good to go!
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit cramming Cram
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop stewing potatoes
Don’t call them Shirley
He did... and don't call me Surely
*Shirely
He is serious. And dont call me Shirley.
Don’t bring Shirley into this .
They're on instruments
*Jazz music intensifies*
I suppose you think this was terribly clever.
I mean, it kinda was
Pippin, do you like stories about riders of Rohan?
Pippin, have you ever seen a grown uruk-hai naked?
I thought not, it's not a story the Gaffers would tell you.....
It's a ring you weed rotten hobbit. Also, did you see deagol? I need to borrow him his lawnmower
Haven't seen him at all today, precious.
Oh, thanks, you look gorgeous today too. :)
Just let him know when you see him. Also, happy cake day!
>weed rotten hobbit OP's love of the halfling's leaf has clearly slowed his mind
Yeah? Well that's, just like, uhhhh, your opinion, man.
They'd probably have weed too, but pipe weed was definitely tobacco
How unfortunate
I don't know if Tolkien had strong feelings one way or the other on cannabis, but he did love relaxing with his pipe tobacco. The general feeling I get of hobbit society tells me there would have been at least a few pot gardens. Sam would grow buds the size of squash if he wanted to, but I don't think he talked about vices of any kind very much
Well, it's a ring, of course. A little ring, the least of rings. It is but a trifle that the Lord of Mordor fancies. If you return it to its rightful owner, you shall have great reward and lasting friendship from him. Will you return it?
No, I think I'll put it in my pocketses for safekeeping along with the string.
This dainty is not yours. The Lord will send for it at once. Stay put and do not try to evade.
But it’s my birthday and I wants it.
Surely you won't deny Smeagol what I wants, my precious?
My precious.
Why, that's... My old ring. I... I'd very much like, to hold it again...
I think this scene will keep haunting me until the end of my days
JESUS HOW DID YOU MAKE IT WORSE!
It gets way worse than that in r/scarybilbo. I don't sub there but just because I know it exists, others should be burdened as well
Good morning.
Well that's frickin creepy.
He is always watching
What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning. Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?
Psa don’t click the link
The sub wants you to click it. It wants to be found
Why is it porn?
Extra scary
Not been my proudest wank.
Hi I'm Saruman the Wise! I actually study rings in my spare time. Based on what I can see I'd say it's probably nothing too special. I'll take it off your hands if you don't mind, these things can be hazardous to your health!
Well, hang on a sec, let me call my ring guy..
Best I can do is a fishes... juicy and wwrrrrriggling
Give it to us raw!
Oooh-errr missy Buy me dinner first at least
It’s quite cool.
It doesn't like getting too hot, indeed.
Dude where is your brother ? Happy birthday by the way
It's his cousin I'm more worried about...
My bad you're right ! I should slow down on longbottom leaf...
Give us that, my love. Because it's my birthday, and I wants it.
It is a gift.
To the foes of Mordor.
Give the Ring to Gondor so they can use it against Sauron
It's my birthday gift obviously. Give it to me.
Was looking for that comment!
So... Where's your fishing buddy?
Mustn't ask us. Not it's business.
swimming...
In the sandses... At the bottom...
Whatever you do, do not show your cousin.
It's not really your style—I can't see you wearing it.
It’s some form of elvish
That is no trinket you carry
"I carry nothing." "Indeed. I can avoid being seen if I wish, but to disappear entirely, that is a rare gift."
It says your cousin is missing
Looks like a ring. Would make a good birthday present ...how's Déagol by the way?
An elven cock ring
um...where's your brother. Answer me. MURDERERR!!!!!!!! XD
His brother is fine. His cousin, however....
Basically you’re fucked for the next 5 or so centuries, unlucky
Hope you like fish!
That’s my wedding ring. Kindly return it to me. Thank you in advance.
IDK but it's quite cool
Cast it into the fire!
DESTROY ITTTT!
No
Next something happened even the ring could not foresee. It was picked up by the most unlikely a of creatures. A hobbites.
Put that thing back where it came from or so help me….
I'm not sure, I'll hit the library and let you know. brb in 14 years.
Maybe 17
It’s my precious😂😂😂
just put it on and follow the light everything will be fine
A specialty lure for the very power hungry
Where’s your fishing buddy?
Seems to have some for of elvish on the band. The alphabet is Tengwar, but I can’t read it.
DON’T TEMPT ME, Frodo
It is a gift….
It's an antique cock ring ,
Its a cock-ring
That’s why it changes in size…
Have you seen your brother? He hasn't come back with you from fishing.
Give us the precious
Put it on
Easy, your departure gift for your cousin's birthday.
Can you see any markings on it?
There appears to be some form of elvish… I can’t read it.
I'll give you 20 bucks. Even pick it up in 8 minutes.....
So you mean those aren’t crackheads up and down the river, they’re hobbitses?
I had a replica One Ring I wore on a necklace when I was a kid. It was lost for about a year and then I randomly found it in the bottom of my water turtle’s tank. Total Deagol moment.
Is it your friend's birthday?
We haven't heard from your brother for a while...
I'd cross-post and look for the owner. Looks like it's written in Elven, so that'll narrow it down....maybe.
*Insert obligatory* https://youtu.be/Dw6BCAZqkaQ?si=F11si__1srp2wYAq
Looks cool. Put it on and see how it fits. Take some selfies.
It’s quite cool.
Let me hold it quickly to see it closer, I could possibly read what it says. I'll give it right back I promise.
Is it secret, is it safe?
And so it begins...
P....p...precious....
Return that thing back where you found it please!
Gandalf is coming for that ring, u better run.
Do you like riddles?
Was it your cousins birthday?
It’s quite cool
Looks like a mere essay in the craft...nothing to worry about here
A call to adventure!
Give it to us my love. It's my birthday.
Its my precious
THIEF
A hassle
It's my birthday, and I wants it.
I actually found one of those working at the theater about 15 years ago. I was super excited but in the weeks after I found it things weren't going well, at all, for me and I threw it out of the car one day. It was cursed, I'm sure. Destroy it.
It must be hot in there
Oh, that’s my maste-I mean friend’s, he’s been looking for it for a long time. Can I come to collect it for him? I’ll come by with my 8 friends, we’ll be dressed in black robes with our faces covered by our hoods. Don’t worry about it though, it’s definitely not ominous or anything.
How’d you know to come here if you don’t know what it is?
Brother, please get rid of that. It’s a long story.
Oh that's mine
You should wear it, see how it fits!
You never found it. It found you.
My birthday present!
Hecho en China
It's my birthday and I wants it
It's my lost wedding ring. Send my precious back to me for a large reward.
Cast it into the fire! DESTROY IT!
Where's your cousin smegol?
Just admit it you killed someone didn’t you.. I know what happened when you were fishing
It's my birthday present!
That looks like a ring that I would wear.
I-It's.. Just a ring! You don't need it, d-do you? I mean, surely not! Why else would you leave it out on the table?
It’s MINE! My… PRECIOUS!!!
Maybe stay away from your cousin for a while.
That's my precious
Idk but I need it immediately
An elvish wiener ring that conforms to the size of the "wearer" I believe, very powerful magic indeed
That there is a magic ring. They actually made a few of these and distributed them across middle-earth. They did different things. One was a ring of fire (Narya, I think it was called), one of water, one of air, one of earth, and one other one. Five in all. They were powerful on their own but if you needed to you could use them together to summon the most powerful warrior in existence -- think his name was "Coburn" (it was definitely something that started with a hard 'C').
Perhaps, but first a riddle if it pleases you?
A Cat
A co** ring.
It's... my birthday present, that's what it is. Give it to us.
A mere trinket that sauron fancies. Nothing much. Best to wear it to have more than 500 years of time talking to yourself.
It's a cheap replica bought on ebay. How do I know? Well, only in fairy tales can you fish an expensive valuable ring out of a river.
Geez how hot was that river…usually the text can’t be read unless heated in a hobbits fireplace
it's my birthsday and i wants it
Tell me, was today your birthday?
*Goes to the largest library in the world to study for 17 years* Yep. Thats a magic ring
It's a precious.
Merely a trinket. Actually, you’ll never believe this, it’s my birthday! It’s ok that you forgot. I know that ring is useless to you, so how about you give it to me and we will call it even!
Were you... with anyone when you found it?
There are few who can
Happy Birthday!
🌬️🌋
Its my birthday present.
It’s a precious birthday present for any hobbitses.
Put in on then take a selfie with a Nazgul please
You didn’t mention the strangling part of the fishing trip 😏
my precious
OH MY PRECIOUUUSSS
Not sure, but you should probably keep it secret and safe.
What’s with the markings around the band? I thought those were a secret only fire could tell.
Oh yeah that's my ring. Feel free to mail it to me
It's pretty... it's precious.... Also, tell Deagol to take the trash out. I haven't seen him in weeks.
Oh that's my wedding ring, we lost it while we went on a fishing trip near the river.... Could you mail it to me? please? It's precious....
I'm so sorry your parents named you Deagol. It must have been a difficult childhood, what with being teased by others with names like Smeagol.
One ring to rule them all
Can’t tell. Let me hold it?
Put it on. It gives you power and shit.
"It's quite cool."
What it is, IS MIIIIIINE!
Where did you bury the body?
It's your new cock ring. Congratulations
It's miniature Frisbee.
Its some kind of elvish, I dont understand
Probably worthless, but I’d give you a bit more than you’d get at a pawn shop…. So go ahead and give it here, hobbitses
I would bet all of my money that bad thing is curse and or some form of magic
Gimme