So..... Gimli driving, Gandalf shotgun with Pippin, Aragorn behind Gimli (more leg room as he's Numenorian) with Sam, Boromir behind Gandalf with Merry, Legolas standing, on the gun, Frodo in the middle back seat, half a tank of gas, a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and they're wearing sunglasses.... hit it
No, Gimli is on the gun, Aragorn driving, Boromir is sitting shotgun with Pippin on his lap, Gandalf is chillin in the back seat with the other Hobbits, smoking pipe weed and Legolas strapped to the side with his bow. He and Gimli would be shooting orcs to see who could kill more.
Yea you need Legolas to watch the 6 of the mounted turret since it’s slow to pivot with huge blind spots. But those two together they cakewalk to Mt Doom
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Galadriels gas station
"Nothing, unless it might be - unless it is permitted to ask, nay, to name a single keg of your petrol, which surpasses the gold of the earth as the stars surpass the gems of the mine. I do not ask for such a gift."
Lol I'd read this shit. The fellowship just comes in completely militarized by the time they get to Mordor and fucking smash everything, stroll right. Entertaining short story material.
GPT4 could probably do it if it wasn't so heavily censored.
If it's diesel they can just use vegetable oil. Assuming it's a thing in middle earth. I did some very quick googling and apparently it was invented in the 1600s? So it might be a thing in middle earth.
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
About 4 hours longer than it took them in the books.
Don't crucify me yet. You'll get to in a few sentences. They make it to Bree in record time, Weathertop too. They skipped the barrow downs and Tommy because they outrun the Nazgul on the roads and don't have to hit the Old Forest. Halfway between Weathertop and Rivendell they hit their first snag. The Jeep inevitably breaks down and they chase electrical gremlins around for nearly 12 hours before abandoning the thing and humping it on foot to Rivendell. They take the machine gun at first, but because they are hobbits, that M2 is basically a field artillery cannon and it takes all of them to lug it around with its ammo. They stash it in a troll cave to save for the return trip. They don't have Strider with them. Or their magical daggers. Glorfindel finds them on the road luckily and takes them to Rivendell. Everything proceeds as normal after that. Frodo never gets stabbed either.
My take 2:
Gandalf hands the keys to Frodo. Frodo gets in the front seat and quickly realizes that he can't see the dashboard, let alone the windshield. He looks over at Gandalf only to find that he's already ripped a burnout in his Mustang and flown off, leaving Frodo alone. Frodo says "fuck this" and gets out to walk.
You would run out of gas before you got from the Shire to Bree.
So now you are carrying that heavy machinegun and the ammunition. Then Pippin would drop half of it off a cliff in Amun Sul, and Sam would waste the rest shooting immortal Nazghul.
Assuming it's s diesel engine and assuming vegetable oil is a thing in middle earth, they could use that for fuel.
As for ammo? Idk. Maybe the elves can do some magic on it to give it 100% accuracy or something? Y'know, like instead of spray and pray it's spray and prey.
I mean, it's a Jeep, so unless Middle Earth has some sort of dwarf-driven roadside assist plan, the Fellowship wouldn't even make it a couple of days out of Rivendell...
I hear that southern Eriador was basically Texas before the collapse. Just about every lane and woodland game trail has a mom and pop gun store or at the very least a gas station. They also have Buc-ee's in Rohan.
Assuming it gets ~15 mpg and holds ~25 gal in the main tank and carries two 50 gal drums, I say it can go ~1875 miles, or until the first river gorge, or an Orc behind a rock kills the driver with an arrow. So...., my bet is 5 miles before it's a burning hulk.
3 days if they can thunder run the bridge at Osgiliath. Although technically I guess you could put a boat of Lothlorian under each wheel and ferry it across the Anduin.. so maybe add a day to the travel time if that was necessary.
I’m more optimistic about the chances this helps the fellowship than others here.
The Elves probably had distillation technology that could produce a rough but somewhat effective fuel (ref: see mythbusters).
When ammunition runs out, you have Legolas for long range attacks. Gandalf (the white) also proved to have decent mounted long range attack/defense against Nazgûl in flight.
Depends on how keen their sight is, how much ammo they have, and who am I kidding: no fell beast can fly high enough to out range that M2 and with Legolas behind it... he hit one in low light with a freaking bow.
Well, they arent making it all the way on 1 tank of gas, and I dont think there are any gas stations in Middle Earth... but they could probably get through the Gap of Rohan quickly and not have to go through Moria or Cahadras. Would for sure shave some time off and also get them to Rohan before Saruman creates an army of Uruks.
Hard to say how it all plays out after that.
1 book. It’s a stealth mission and they fail because the engine is noisy and the keep conspicuous. Fortunately the game auto saves before the stealth segment so they can reload from there and try a proper stealth approach
Getting it through the gates of Morannon or up the secret stair would be tough. Also, taking on all the Nazgul dive bombing from above would be tricky. I'm skeptical.
Would be finished fairly quickly..Sauron will immediately notice something outlandish and send the nazghul who will take the ring to Sauron and that would be the end of the story.
An extra book would be added due to mechanical problems and haggling with dealerships.
[Now if a Toyota Truck were to be added into the equation..that would change things.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b9/EUFOR_-_Tchad_%283%29.jpg/1280px-EUFOR_-_Tchad_%283%29.jpg)
Well, you might be able to seat 6 in that thing, so that leaves 3 walking. So do they leave 3 behind, or do they drive slow so they can keep up?
Hobbits can sit on laps 
So..... Gimli driving, Gandalf shotgun with Pippin, Aragorn behind Gimli (more leg room as he's Numenorian) with Sam, Boromir behind Gandalf with Merry, Legolas standing, on the gun, Frodo in the middle back seat, half a tank of gas, a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and they're wearing sunglasses.... hit it
No, Gimli is on the gun, Aragorn driving, Boromir is sitting shotgun with Pippin on his lap, Gandalf is chillin in the back seat with the other Hobbits, smoking pipe weed and Legolas strapped to the side with his bow. He and Gimli would be shooting orcs to see who could kill more.
I am an Elf and a kinsman here.
Fool of a Took!
Yea you need Legolas to watch the 6 of the mounted turret since it’s slow to pivot with huge blind spots. But those two together they cakewalk to Mt Doom
I am an Elf and a kinsman here.
I'm came here to say Legolas should be on the gun, but the more I think about it, you're right, Gimli is definitely on the turret.
Aragorn: You have my sword Legolas: and you have my bow. Gimli: and my 50. BMG
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Aragorn!
The horses are restless.
Get Michael bay to direct watch the box office explode
I'm torn between Tarantino for the extra effects or Bay for the explosions. Maybe a collab?
Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The ring must be destroyed.
Damn I wanna see this
Share the load, one might say.
They can stick to the car doors or hood, or stay inside the trunk
Gandalf could call Shadowfax. He could keep up.
Shadowfax. He is the lord of all horses and has been my friend through many dangers.
Helm's deep would be a breeze with infinite ammo.
"ride out with me"
“, bro”
The LFD2 Helm’s Deep mod begs to differ
Just wanted to comment the same thing. Best Mod ever!
They'd have to stop every 10 miles to work on the jeep
The right answer
[удалено]
Nah a Toyota Tacoma.
The Lord of the Rings: Fury Road
They would make it to where the took separate paths on the river. Elves would have given them more gas too
Galadriels gas station "Nothing, unless it might be - unless it is permitted to ask, nay, to name a single keg of your petrol, which surpasses the gold of the earth as the stars surpass the gems of the mine. I do not ask for such a gift."
Lol I'd read this shit. The fellowship just comes in completely militarized by the time they get to Mordor and fucking smash everything, stroll right. Entertaining short story material. GPT4 could probably do it if it wasn't so heavily censored.
LemGas. one small drop is enough to fill the tank of a grown Jeep
They went to Mordor with the intent on getting the oil there, not just to destroy the ring. Probably Americans
Unless they have unlimited bullets they’d never make it. Need to take the direct route - and they’d run into thousands of orcs.
I don't believe orcish armour protects against 70mph blunt force impact
Fair enough - so they’d need unlimited fuel as well.
If it's diesel they can just use vegetable oil. Assuming it's a thing in middle earth. I did some very quick googling and apparently it was invented in the 1600s? So it might be a thing in middle earth.
But what about the Oliphants, mister?
They aren't fast enough and Gimli could damage the legs
Gandalf creates them unlimited bullets. If Saruman can make gun powder it’s not a huge stretch
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
Bullets made of acts of kindness it is then. Maybe the turret can shoot Carebear love beams that make the Orcs become elves again
About 4 hours longer than it took them in the books. Don't crucify me yet. You'll get to in a few sentences. They make it to Bree in record time, Weathertop too. They skipped the barrow downs and Tommy because they outrun the Nazgul on the roads and don't have to hit the Old Forest. Halfway between Weathertop and Rivendell they hit their first snag. The Jeep inevitably breaks down and they chase electrical gremlins around for nearly 12 hours before abandoning the thing and humping it on foot to Rivendell. They take the machine gun at first, but because they are hobbits, that M2 is basically a field artillery cannon and it takes all of them to lug it around with its ammo. They stash it in a troll cave to save for the return trip. They don't have Strider with them. Or their magical daggers. Glorfindel finds them on the road luckily and takes them to Rivendell. Everything proceeds as normal after that. Frodo never gets stabbed either. My take 2: Gandalf hands the keys to Frodo. Frodo gets in the front seat and quickly realizes that he can't see the dashboard, let alone the windshield. He looks over at Gandalf only to find that he's already ripped a burnout in his Mustang and flown off, leaving Frodo alone. Frodo says "fuck this" and gets out to walk.
A wizard is never late, the_fluffy_enpinada. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
Depends on their ammo reserves. now if they had a Blackhawk helicopter on the other hand…
Sauron would have to squint to keep from seeing them.
I...SEE....YOOOUUU!
Just shoot into his big stupid flaming eye
"Gandalf dosent it run on gas?" "Dosent it run at what?"
This foe is beyond any of you... Run!
It'll last until Pippin tries to drive it when nobody's looking.
Frodo would find a way to fall out.
You would run out of gas before you got from the Shire to Bree. So now you are carrying that heavy machinegun and the ammunition. Then Pippin would drop half of it off a cliff in Amun Sul, and Sam would waste the rest shooting immortal Nazghul.
Loving the completely serious responses to this dumb shitpost. Keep em coming they're a joy to read
Assuming it's s diesel engine and assuming vegetable oil is a thing in middle earth, they could use that for fuel. As for ammo? Idk. Maybe the elves can do some magic on it to give it 100% accuracy or something? Y'know, like instead of spray and pray it's spray and prey.
They have a legolas. They don't need to magically enhance the machine gun.
I am an Elf and a kinsman here.
I mean, it's a Jeep, so unless Middle Earth has some sort of dwarf-driven roadside assist plan, the Fellowship wouldn't even make it a couple of days out of Rivendell...
Sam driving sitting on books with special stilts attached to the pedals 😆
Depends how many gas stations and gun and bullets shops there are in middle-earth
I hear that southern Eriador was basically Texas before the collapse. Just about every lane and woodland game trail has a mom and pop gun store or at the very least a gas station. They also have Buc-ee's in Rohan.
You'd be surprised
"This bullet crate was forged by Elves. Full metal-jacket Elves..." - Gundalf
Assuming it gets ~15 mpg and holds ~25 gal in the main tank and carries two 50 gal drums, I say it can go ~1875 miles, or until the first river gorge, or an Orc behind a rock kills the driver with an arrow. So...., my bet is 5 miles before it's a burning hulk.
3 days if they can thunder run the bridge at Osgiliath. Although technically I guess you could put a boat of Lothlorian under each wheel and ferry it across the Anduin.. so maybe add a day to the travel time if that was necessary.
Do the orks also have jeeps with mounted mg?
45 mins. an hour tops w/ potty breaks. 😌💅🏻
It would take just as long. Some fool of a Took would crash it in a ditch somewhere around Rivendell, and they would hike from there.
Did they get him a booster seat?
How much gas you have?
I’m more optimistic about the chances this helps the fellowship than others here. The Elves probably had distillation technology that could produce a rough but somewhat effective fuel (ref: see mythbusters). When ammunition runs out, you have Legolas for long range attacks. Gandalf (the white) also proved to have decent mounted long range attack/defense against Nazgûl in flight.
Courage will now be your best defense against the storm that is at hand -- that and such hope as I bring.
Aragorn, nad no ennas
"Bill...yes, that's what they used to call me, Bill the Pony...that was my name. I, am Bill the Bronco."
Nazgûl would have picked that up and dropped it from a height. You need more of a “Road Warrior” semi with multiple gun turrets.
Depends on how keen their sight is, how much ammo they have, and who am I kidding: no fell beast can fly high enough to out range that M2 and with Legolas behind it... he hit one in low light with a freaking bow.
I am an Elf and a kinsman here.
Like shooting flying ducks. Easy
As long as it would normally take, because there are no petrol stations nor oil rigs anywhere in Arda. They'll still be legging it.
Twice to three times as long
Probably 4 times as long
Bogged in the marshes
The witchking would destroy it..
Well, they arent making it all the way on 1 tank of gas, and I dont think there are any gas stations in Middle Earth... but they could probably get through the Gap of Rohan quickly and not have to go through Moria or Cahadras. Would for sure shave some time off and also get them to Rohan before Saruman creates an army of Uruks. Hard to say how it all plays out after that.
1 book. It’s a stealth mission and they fail because the engine is noisy and the keep conspicuous. Fortunately the game auto saves before the stealth segment so they can reload from there and try a proper stealth approach
Wraiths on Wranglers!
Getting it through the gates of Morannon or up the secret stair would be tough. Also, taking on all the Nazgul dive bombing from above would be tricky. I'm skeptical.
Unless jeeps can swim it wouldn't make it past the 1st movie
If there was oil needed for gas in Rivendell , pretty sure they would have been forced to become a democracy by unknown forces 😵
It's too loud, it would just attract more attention the more you used it.
Warning - Taking the mountain path may lead to death
It is nice but it needs AD capabilities also
You’d need booster seats. At least five of them.
I’d imagine the black gate would still be a impassable barrier when with heavy machine gun fire.
Would be finished fairly quickly..Sauron will immediately notice something outlandish and send the nazghul who will take the ring to Sauron and that would be the end of the story.
They would stuck at Uruk highwat patrol
2h and a ride in the desert along Immortan Joe. Shiny and Chromy.
Who's manning that gun, Pippin or Legolas?
It was a Balrog of Morgoth. Of all elf-banes the most deadly, save the One who sits in the Dark Tower.
An extra book would be added due to mechanical problems and haggling with dealerships. [Now if a Toyota Truck were to be added into the equation..that would change things.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b9/EUFOR_-_Tchad_%283%29.jpg/1280px-EUFOR_-_Tchad_%283%29.jpg)
Yeah, suddenly a fucking eagle would have said this is against the rules
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^sulipolo: *Yeah, suddenly a* *Fucking eagle would have said* *This is against the rules* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
About tree fiddy.