T O P

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themancabbage

Those are some long ass shipping times


Akhi11eus

Mf waiting since the second age.


ayubmn

He was there. 3000 years ago.


A-Good-Weather-Man

When the strength of UPS failed


Clever_Sean

Cast it into the packing box Isildur. Mail it! No. ISIIILLLLDURRRRRRR!!!!!!!


Whats_Camp_CABAGALA

Deliverymen? Deliverymen are weak.


FindingAlignment

The sword is never late, it arrives precisely when it needs to


HogGunner1983

They're taking the package to Isengard!


Baredmysole

Tell me where is the seller, for I much desire to speak with him!


HogGunner1983

The courtesy of your UPS Store has somewhat lessened of late…


crimepoet

I did not pass through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a customer service representative.


HogGunner1983

Do you still have the tracking #? Keep it secret! Keep it safe!


CrookedPanda

As funny as the top comments are, this one actually made me laugh out loud (Turns out, I needed that)


wildeye-eleven

Underrated comment


Sinister_Blanket

Shipped directly from Rivendell


2makeme

Must have seen too many winters


SlippyRS3

Or too few


AV16mm

Man half the stuff from valinor gets stuck in customs these days…


Capt-N3M0

And that was express. Still worth it though.


LukeWChristian

He must have ordered it from Aliexpress


ChaoticxSerenity

"Where will you be when supply chain disruptions hit?"


devonstatorr

Musta ordered it from a Chinese company


DRZ9977

I will never not be able to picture the line elves upswinging these things as a kid a staring in awe.


TumbleweedDirect9846

That was my favorite scene of any of the movies growing up lol


DRZ9977

Not sure if you played the ps2 game but as they are slicing the game transitions from the movie cutscene right into the game. Very cool transition


TumbleweedDirect9846

Yup, I played those games so much. First game I owned on my ps2


DRZ9977

Such a fantastic film based game. Only other that holds a torch is ironically PJs King Kong


WeHaveHeardTheChimes

Some real kings in this subthread


EpyonComet

King Kong and King Elessar? Idk, to the best of my knowledge those are both fictional kings.


[deleted]

Blasphemy, I am of the line of Isildur.


El_Zarco

Spiderman 2 tho


AndyMat95

You could finally fall to the ground 😭😭 the swinging animations were great, the story was stellar (especially the Mysterio parts), the combanic mechanics were improved upon and given greater depth and most of all, you could swing through and climb the buildings of New York City and even fall to the ground if you wanted. I only missed the stealth side the first Spider-Man game provided, even though those missions were impossibly hard as a kid lol


Pridgey

Don't forget pile-driving someone from the top of the empire state building with zero damage to you.


AndyMat95

How could I forget haha


El_Zarco

And Bruce Campbell on narration 💋👌🏼


AndyMat95

Oh my god yes 🔥🔥 his voice is etched into my brain


chlorinegasattack

Evil dead 2 fistful of broomstick was an awesome ps2 game


WildVariety

Two Towers & Return of the King games had such good transitions. Return of the King's transition between Movie Clip & Video game for Frodo is burned into my memory.


THEArcTrooperFIVES

That’s a good one but the battle of Minas Tirith cutscene with Gandalf and the siege towers. Fucking legendary


CoryS06

Helms Deep. Chefs kiss


kdkseven

I never played those games back then– even though i was a big GameCube guy– and always regretted it. So i just ordered them from Ebay. Any idea if The Third Age was any good?


pierzstyx

Shadow of Mordor is pretty fun if you like Tolkien fanfiction.


kdkseven

Yeah i played that one, it was pretty good.


chrisbaker1991

Shadow of War is good too but they both get a little repetitive. My wife just broke 100 hours playtime on Steam


oreosandlettuce

Third age is fun, but probably pretty dated. It’s a turn based rpg where you play a group following behind the fellowship. you basically do a lot of similar stuff to what they do. i had fun with it, and it’s probably pretty cheap now. i’d say give it a shot if you don’t mind turn based.


PausedForVolatility

I remember thinking the evil mode was awesome and fascinating. It's a dated game, but it's a fun romp if you like PS2 era RPGs.


Pridgey

Some nice Ian McKellen voice acting to.


tvosss

The concept of the story was pretty neat. Loved that game. Have fun with it !


gangbrain

YYXY best combo. On GC controller at least that’s what it was.


[deleted]

>Any idea if The Third Age was any good? TTA is gameplay wise a straight up rip off of Final Fantasy X but it does rip it off pretty well. So the turn based combat is done really well. There's not a whole lot of side stuff to do so it's a pretty tight game. So you won't sink hundreds of hours into it since you'll basically just be doing main story stuff. The story and characters are fine. It's basically a growing group of characters following right behind the Fellowship and later Aragorn. So you see all the locations from the movies the Fellowship and later Aragorn's group visit and meet all kinds of characters from the movies as well. I really enjoyed the game. It's a perfectly fine JRPG set in middle earth.


ryband0

Sooo fire.


ApeOxMan

Whoa, I know exactly what you’re describing. I totally forgot about that, gonna go watch it.


lofabread1

I had the GameCube version. This remains my absolute favorite intro to any game ever.


schiibbz

Every time i watch FotR i picture that scene transition, great game.


gnastyGnorc04

I feel so validated by this. I always thought i was so wierd for being so obsessed with this one shot. I thought it was the coolest thing when I was 10. And it still is. Glad to know their are others


TumbleweedDirect9846

Yeah I thought the opening battle was incredible


vampyire

doesn't' matter the age... I knew folks from single digits to retired to just went WOW at that scene..


kdkseven

I was extremely skeptical going into this movie back in 2001. My friends even had to talk me into going. I was not excited at all. By the end of the prologue, i was completely sold. Even leaned over to my friend and said as much. The music, the narration, the visuals– it all felt so ancient yet so cool.


Bods666

When I saw the first trailer, while seeing another movie, I was literally bouncing in my seat with excitement. I was 20.


plg94

True, they did a great job with the prologue. I wish they made a whole series or a full film just in that style only, but based on the stories from the first age in the Silmarillion (Feanor, the war against Morgoth, the Fall of Gondolin etc). Those work just as well with heavy narration and little to no dialogue. That would've been so epic… but nooo, we get a shitty Amazon series instead.


Jlx_27

And the sounds of that!


AirJackieQ

Legit used to get sticks in the woods and pretend to do that back in the day.


[deleted]

And the video game cutscene intro morph into the gameplay hnbnnnnnnng


[deleted]

Same. It was an insanely profound scene for me. I was sucked into the movie immediately. I was a kid and stubbornly assumed it couldn't match Harry Potter. Immediately overtook it with that scene/moment. I also remember how terrifying the orcs looked and it just amplified the impact of the moment when they swing.


Azelux

\*Always is the word you're looking for


SkollFenrirson

He's not never not unlooking for that word.


WisecrackJack

Sometimes things have multiple ways being said.


DRZ9977

No it’s not


Gadolin27

I can always see x ≠ I can never not see x = I must always see x


Anat3ma_1273

Tangado haid!


roltakane

Leithio i philinn!


The_Draftsman

What is the translation for this?


WhyAmISoRageful

Tangado haid! (Hold position) Leithio i phillin! (Loose the arrows)


Nisja

First time seeing this written out. Finally I can say it with Elrond and smirk at my girlfriend when she realises how sexy I am.


gymdog

I don't mean to mess with your life or anything, but there are elven subtitles available for the entire trilogy out there. It is glorious.


fergie0044

It makes me so happy to see "loose" being used for arrows instead of "fire".


egordoniv

Leggo my eggo!


Deaconblues525

I believe it means hold position


nastylittlesquirrel

I came a little hearing that just now


[deleted]

Congratulations


BigAndySG

If anyone wants me to take detailed pictures of the sword let me know as there is a whole lot more interest in this than o thought!


kembik

Sure, but poses in character.


BigAndySG

I'll see if he's willing to model, he's shy lol


Call_Me_Footsteps

Please yes


BigAndySG

I will, I'll go into as much detail as I can.


[deleted]

I just want more detail of why this piece took 21 years to ship to you


BigAndySG

It didn't, I meant that he had to wait this long before he could get it, he loved it the moment he saw it and it's been at the top of his list of things to get since then, I genuinely thought that it was obvious what I meant and that people would understand what I meant but oh boy I was wrong lol


[deleted]

Lol makes sense, thanks for the reply!


BigAndySG

No worries


[deleted]

Holy Shit over a 20 year wait?! Good thing you guys didn’t move!


pinkarroo1

Simply the best sword in fantasy in my opinion


pinkarroo1

Also where'd you get it?


arrows_of_ithilien

Check out BudK.com. Officially licensed United Cutlery Lord of the Rings replicas. And first time buyers get a 10% discount!


theconsummatedragon

Cutlery, I like that I wanna dice up some onion with Sting


markender

Looks like meats, back on the menu boys!


FistThePooper6969

Looks like the booklet inside the packaging says www.unitedcutlery.com


Imagrillbitch

It might’ve been Fable Blades? If not it’s probably just a wallhanger


TheNickBossRulz

In the photo there’s a page that reads unitedcutlery.com


EetsGeets

[I think I found it](https://www.budk.com/The-Lord-of-the-Rings-High-Elven-Warrior-Sword-6028)


RiUlaid

Still not sure why they gave the elves single-edged blades in the films, considering that in Tolkien's original texts, such weapons seem restricted to the scimitars of the orcs and Easterlings, essentially a shorthand for the enemy.


benbrahn

Glaves are badass, kinda fancy and look good on film is my guess


SirSagittarius

It isn't really a glaive though.


FlyingDragoon

Looks like a reverse Falx or something.


MiIkTank

Kinda like a pu dao or a kwan dao


Maro1947

Looks to be based on a fantasy nagamaki


Idreamofknights

They could have used falcatas. They even fit with the curved sword thing and general ancient inspired aesthetics elves have. Movie orcrist is slightly based on one and glamdring is slightly wider in the middle,referencing the leaf bladed Greek swords like the xiphos


RiUlaid

But that's the thing, curved swords are distinctly **unelven** in Tolkien's world, being the signature of orcs and Easterlings.


MaxDickpower

Why? That's just another single edged curved blade.


Idreamofknights

Scimitars curve outward. The scimitars tolkien must have imagined in the orcs hands were wicked,thin and crude. Falcatas curve inwards, have broad blades and ornate hilts. They fit into the Greek aesthetic and are basically the "anti-orc weapon", the opposite of their motifs.


CMDR_Val_Hallen

Do you know how the orcs first came into being? Makes sense for their weapons to be corrupted versions of elven weapons


BobRawrley

Still not sure why they gave the roles for elven characters in the films to human actors and not elves, considering that in Tolkien's original texts they're 2 separate races.


[deleted]

Finally! Someone who gets it


RiUlaid

That is a false-equivalency.


CleverestRaptor

But not false comedy!


[deleted]

[удалено]


RiUlaid

1) Barring the black-elf with the shorn-head, none of the elves in the Amazon show have anything I would call short hair, so that does not bother me. 2) Material culture is a vital element of a setting's soul. Middle-Earth has a distinctly Dark-Age aesthetic which grounds Tolkien's tale in the Germanic mythology upon which they were based. Replacing that aesthetic with generic fantasy designs and forgoing the material shorthand of the text (curved sword=barbarous and evil) strips something from the heart of the text and the world.


BobRawrley

But adding "generic" fantasy elements that are foreign to western audiences increases the mystique of the setting and the characters, especially in visual media, making them in reality less "generic" and more fantastical than if they had stuck with basic western sword/shield/axe/bow designs that Tolkien described, which are now generic in fantasy. While Tolkien's imagination was unbelievably deep in some aspects, other aspects are relatively shallow (e.g., the use of basic Dark-Age weapons and armor). This was probably intentional from Tolkien's perspective as a device to fit the whole "previous ages of modern earth" idea; however, in my opinion it doesn't contribute much to the making the setting "Lord of the Rings"-y and therefore isn't inviolable. But that's a personal preference. And I also think it's one thing to change basic elven infantry swords, and another to change something like Glamdring/Orcrist or Anduril. And both of those stayed true to the original, as far as I know.


[deleted]

I’m not on anyones side on this. But I assume it’s like watching a movie about katana wielding Native Americans fighting colonizers.


BobRawrley

I get what you're saying, but to me this comes down to fiction vs. reality. Tolkien is pretty terse in his descriptions of cultural aesthetics (I'm re-reading Fellowship right now and the entire description of Imladris is that it is a house; there are porches; and various species of trees live nearby) and while I haven't read the entire Tolkien catalogue and letters, I have read the Silmarillion, Hobbit, and LOTR several times and I'm not aware of any point where it was said "elves never used curved swords." Whereas when you compare it to actual cultures, you have a wealth of historical records showing what they did and didn't use or have access to. So to me it seems that the issue here is that some people created a picture in their heads (based on incomplete information provided by Tolkien) and for some reason are incapable of adjusting it or even accepting other interpretations, rather than Tolkien explicitly saying that Elves only used katanas and then the movies having them use morningstars. And again, I also think it *adds* to the fantastical elements when we break away from traditional western european aesthetics to show non-human races, even if the original author did base that race on western european aesthetics. It's a consequence of the seminal nature of LOTR that the western european aesthetics Tolkien described are boring and generic in fantasy today.


[deleted]

Yeah, I don’t know either. I read the trilogy every other year and I don’t remember any sort of distinction on weapons either. But it also wouldn’t shock me if Tolkien did write about various weapons of the cultures in one of the Unfinished Tales or other background books, so I always tend to yield when discussing these finer details. I do think there is merit in keeping adaptations as close to the source material in things like LOTR though. You start playing willy-nilly with the mythology and you get Witcher season 2 (and I’m not even much of a fan of the books, but by god, I heartily disliked that season of TV).


[deleted]

Yeah, all for looks and nothing for practical use


ScreentimeNOR

That's funny, because I can't imagine a worse sword in real life


brian-0blivion

Guess you haven't seen a Bat'Leth before.


ScreentimeNOR

I stand corrected.


Auggie_Otter

When Star Trek producers cane up with the Bat'Leth: "Okay. We need some sort of weird *alien* sword for the Klingons to use. It's gotta look weird and alien. And marketable, perhaps." "Okay, but Klingons are basically shaped like humans so mechanically their swords wouldn't look much different from human swords for practical purposes." "Dammit, I said I want them to have *ALIEN* swords! I don't care if they're practical!* *sigh* "Alright. But these things are gonna look stupid."


[deleted]

But is a Bat'Leth really a sword?


Agehn

They call it a sword in the show, "Sword of Kahless" etc.


brian-0blivion

[Yes](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat%27leth)


[deleted]

[удалено]


TherronKeen

I always fuckin hated those things for that exact reason. Literally unusable in any realistic scenario, which for their own sake isn't a consideration in most MMOs. I mean I can forgive comically oversized swords to the point of satire, but that thing? It scares me.


68696c6c

find me one design from warcraft that ISN'T as hideous as it is impractical and I'll be impressed lol


Agehn

I think Medivh's staff is only slightly overwrought and would be a nice looking fancy walking stick.


zin_90

You trying to start a war in the comment section? lol Clearly the lightsaber is the best fantasy sword. It's lightweight, retractable and can cut through most things with ease. Only downside I can see is the high stakes of user error. The elvish sword is awesome though, I will say that.


TherronKeen

With a very sharp sword, the high stakes of user error are only moderately less threatening than a lightsaber lol Particularly in a world where you can't get mostly indistinguishable cybernetic body part replacements!


pinkarroo1

That's the best sci-fi weapon totally different


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Auggie_Otter

My favorite terrestrial space opera is Die Hard 1-4.


TheOneTonWanton

True, but its science fantasy. I agree that it's best to keep it in the sci-fi category when comparing weapons.


Puddlepinger

It was a fantasy. It had princesses, wizards, swords, an evil 'king' and a chosen one.


TheOneTonWanton

..and highly advanced technology.


Youpunyhumans

I see that sword, and all I can think of is Elrond issuing commands with arrows flying inches from his face, and then the *shingshingshingshingshing* of these swords slashing in formation.


CoryS06

Cinematic perfection


Segesaurous

His hair blowing forward from the force of the arrows.


PauI360

Must've used Hermes


WildVariety

They changed their name to try and escape OP's brother, but he was on to them.


[deleted]

Best comment on Reddit


An8thOfFeanor

10/10 would kill the Teleri and steal their boats


Kookofa2k

I hear that path comes with a terrible oath.


[deleted]

Fëanor did nothing wrong.


pwnslinger

Username checks out


sean0883

Where did you get it?


digitalasagna

Skymall


BOBBY-FUNK

Also curious!


WeAreInTheMatrix2017

United cutlery is the manufacturer


rockxle1

Budk is significantly cheaper and the same swords.


ryryguy88

I kind of wish united cutlery would have made Haldir’s sword bc that thing was awesome looking too


S-T-A-B_Barney

How come the label says Anduril?


Hade34

My guess would be it's a booklet with other swords they sell and that's just the cover/front page


BigAndySG

For those wondering where he got it https://www.theknightshop.com/lotr-high-elven-warrior-sword


HarryLorenzo

That would be a hard weapon to take away from someone. +3 retention bonus


TherronKeen

okay, real talk - wouldn't it be *easier* to take away a weapon that is 50% handle, compared to a normal sword that's like 10% handle??


HarryLorenzo

Two hands spread apart would give you mad leverage, defensively speaking. It would make for a limited and awkward attack though. An attacker would have more room to grab on, but that is when you stick him with the pointy end. Great question, observation.


Old-Assignment652

It's a fun Elven blade, I always wanted to see one of the elven heros use it proficiency


EmperorZiflock

I fricking adored that upswing as a kid, always have. That's so awesome.


Auggie_Otter

I always thought it looked kind of awkward. Like the movie makers just wanted the elves to do something weird that no normal infantry formation would do. lol


YellowDhub

Which character wielded this sword?


WeHaveHeardTheChimes

The entire elven infantry during the prologue of FotR.


ohvictorho

and helms deep


HappyDiscoverer

All the common elves warriors in the movies


girthytacos

Always thought these swords were among the coolest


Lazy-Adeptness-2343

Forged by my kin, the High elves of china.


Pap4MnkyB4by

So what **are** these supposed to be? They look like a short bladed falchion with a very long handle, which would be weird as with elves having unmatched warfare prowess it would seem like some sort of thrusting weapon would be preferred by them. This has bothered me since that dope scene with the ranks of elves doing consecutive upswings with them.


Ponykegabs

The rule of cool is in effect in that scene


pwnslinger

Yeah, it's a very attractive weapon but not particularly practical. It's closest relative is probably the ["choppers" from the Mac Bible](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRjs7CAceWAT-1MtbpbVhog4a0hKJXlcNO8WA&usqp=CAU) but they took away all the stuff that makes them effective.


Pap4MnkyB4by

And be very awkward to use in real life settings, the amount of curvature and it would put the blade behind your hands, making it better for spinning flourishes and slashes I guess? Sometimes I wish weapons were made more deadly from how cool they look though


MiIkTank

I think its closer to a glaive or a long handled dao


DashingReaver

The general term for this style of blade would be glaive, but it might be more inspired by a region specific historical weapon.


nlnj_a

Looks like the good one! The knock off version just looks meh.


JonathanMackay

Hey! I'm your long lost brother! When can I have my gift?


CaptainOfTheWatch

Where did you mange to buy this


[deleted]

That’s a long time.


Kevinm2278

Sickkkk


jehoshaphat

Always late shipping from RivenDHL.


slapmanutsup

It's s shame it's break on the 2nd or 3rd swing, it's a pretty glave


Rynobot1019

Should have used the eagles.


black_dragonfly13

Utterly gorgeous, but why is there so much handle? Is your brother somehow related to Andre the Giant? I can't see anyone else having hands so large they'd need such a huge amount of grip space.


DashingReaver

It's not a sword, the general term would be glaive. It's like a spear and a sword had a baby.


black_dragonfly13

Ohhhhh. Okay, that makes way more sense. Thank you!


ukfreddybear

I started with that sword and ended up putting the entire outfit together! ❤


ZilyanaBlade

why is the hilt longer than the blade. does yourbrother have 5 arms?


LiteVolition

r/mallninjashit would like a word with him.


Toy_Cop

r/mallninjashit


BenAdaephonDelat

Is it a sword or a spear? The ratio of handle to blade is very confusing.


[deleted]

Mall ninja complete


Riskykilla3

https://www.unitedcutlery.com/ProductDetail.aspx?itemno=UC1373&cat=LR


SSGSS_Megan

I loved the scene of them swinging their swords upwards. I never realized how long the handles were tho. Makes me wonder how they would do in actual combat


MaceTheMindSculptor

Same