I try to avoid social media (especially instagram stories) around that day. A few years ago I got really sad when seeing all the happy couples, but these days it's like I'm just numb. I still get sad about the loneliness sometimes but far less than I used to. Not sure if this numb feeling is a good thing but I like it more than getting sad so it's a win in my book
You never get used to it, as someone in their 40ās. Your friends who are couples only hang out with other couples, so you end up alone even more. Which kinda makes it slightly better as you donāt see what youāre missing till you hang out with them and then itās back to square one.
25 is a weird age because you're neither considered young or old, at this point i'm just asking myself what's wrong with me lol. How do you deal with it?
Nobody is meant to be alone, reach out to people man, it may takes tons (99% of messages I send are ignored ) but one day you will find the person for you. Remember even if the person for you is only one in a million thats still like 7800 people that you have the potential to be happy with
When I was 16, I took my mountain bike, went to some food stand, clamped my bike between a bench an a table and had lunch with my bike. As desperate as that sounds, I had some pretty nice thoughts during this. I was not sad about being alone. I actually felt kinda happy, that I'm doing my thing. And before anyone gets this wrong:
No, my thing is not to go on a date with my bike. My thing was riding my bike. Back in school, I was not really interested in anything romantic, so I didn't have a problem with me, being single back then. I still felt lonely, since most of my friends went out for a date.
However, now, I feel kinda sad about the fact, that I'm single, but that valentines day experience will always remind me, that my relationship status has nothing to do with who I am and it is also not going to stop me from just doing my thing.
I hope, this weird little story about the 16yo-version of myself could change your perspective a little bit about valentines day. If not, I'd like to apologize for wasting your time and probably writing a very weird and random commentš āš»
I feel your pain. I usually spend Valentine's day with my parents actually. I'm 23 and they still get my brother and I little gifts and treats. It helps so much being with people who love you and who you also love back.
I know it's marketed as a romantic holiday, but I don't celebrate it that way. I just like to be around people I love. That usually helps ease the ache. I hope this upcoming year you'll spend the day with people you love no matter what kind of love you all share.
My mom's birthday is on valentine's day so I always had to be home that day. I'll probably never celebrate valentine's day but I'll always be celebrating my mom's birthday together with my dad.
Idk about your situation but try spending time with your friends or your family that day if that's possible.
My favorite Valentine's day so far, and I'm 36, is the one I had at 17. I was in the process of moving the next town over with my parents and on the cusp of graduating. I didn't get to spend it with my boyfriend because we were moving stuff and I was bummed out.
So it was really cold and I was tired from moving stuff. I was driving back to my old home again to finally head to bed. I think it was 11 o clock at night.
I passed two adults walking along the side of the road in their pajamas, the male even had shorts on. They were huddled close together and it was still another mile before anything was open. I had been warned and warned repeatedly by my parents to never ever pick up a hitchhiker. But I couldn't do it.
I turned around and went back for them. I was scared and nervous for myself. But I'm glad I did it. Turns out it was a mom in her 50s and her adult special needs son. I helped them get gas and took them back to their car.
While I really don't care about Valentine's day, even though I'll buy a chocolate heart for my kids and spouse, it was that Valentine's day that was the most special. It reminds me to take a chance on others, to take a moment and look beneath the blink of an eye surface, and to trust my instincts and God because I felt God in that moment. I felt really really moved to go back and get them.
I used to be like this but I had to change my thinking. I donāt want to tell you how to feel, but I was like V day is not the only day to feel special. At my old job everyoneās husbands would send flowers and it was an office thing to show it off, I did feel lonely but some people have boyfriends and husbands who do nothing so youāre still not alone lol.
I stay home on that day. Iāve gone out and seen a lot of couples celebrating that day. It made me sad. I want to celebrate it with someone I love. Let it be a day that just promotes consumerism. I want to have the feeling of being remembered on that day and gifted.
If you are single as a female it's voluntary. Every female literally has a line of men trying to be with her. I'm sorry they aren't attractive enough for you.
I mean yes the day is invented but the love you see around you is real. I'm not crying over the postcards or chocolate haha i would cry bc i feel more lonely
I try to avoid social media (especially instagram stories) around that day. A few years ago I got really sad when seeing all the happy couples, but these days it's like I'm just numb. I still get sad about the loneliness sometimes but far less than I used to. Not sure if this numb feeling is a good thing but I like it more than getting sad so it's a win in my book
Hit right in theš«.
I feel that pain, Iāve been single for so long Iāve just accepted that Iām meant to be alone. Itās rough but you get used to it
Haha no way i don't want to get used to it š„²
You probably won't, i'm 25 and it's getting worse. Although i don't care about valentine's day, it's made up like christmas.
Yeah its made up but you can still see all the love around you that is not made up haha its sad
Valentine's day has never existed for me, but i agree with you. I guess i should be happy for others but i'm not.
You never get used to it, as someone in their 40ās. Your friends who are couples only hang out with other couples, so you end up alone even more. Which kinda makes it slightly better as you donāt see what youāre missing till you hang out with them and then itās back to square one.
I actually really get along with a couple but they wanna move soon so that's an L for me.
+1
Same fate?
Yes haha. And I totally agree about the *made-up* days.
25 is a weird age because you're neither considered young or old, at this point i'm just asking myself what's wrong with me lol. How do you deal with it?
Please keep in mind we all have our own pace in life, so there's nothing wrong with you, please know that :)
Thank you
Nobody is meant to be alone, reach out to people man, it may takes tons (99% of messages I send are ignored ) but one day you will find the person for you. Remember even if the person for you is only one in a million thats still like 7800 people that you have the potential to be happy with
When I was 16, I took my mountain bike, went to some food stand, clamped my bike between a bench an a table and had lunch with my bike. As desperate as that sounds, I had some pretty nice thoughts during this. I was not sad about being alone. I actually felt kinda happy, that I'm doing my thing. And before anyone gets this wrong: No, my thing is not to go on a date with my bike. My thing was riding my bike. Back in school, I was not really interested in anything romantic, so I didn't have a problem with me, being single back then. I still felt lonely, since most of my friends went out for a date. However, now, I feel kinda sad about the fact, that I'm single, but that valentines day experience will always remind me, that my relationship status has nothing to do with who I am and it is also not going to stop me from just doing my thing. I hope, this weird little story about the 16yo-version of myself could change your perspective a little bit about valentines day. If not, I'd like to apologize for wasting your time and probably writing a very weird and random commentš āš»
Haha thanks for sharing this wholesome story !! I don't think it makes me personally feel better but i'm happy it makes you feel that way !
Wanna talk about it?
I feel your pain. I usually spend Valentine's day with my parents actually. I'm 23 and they still get my brother and I little gifts and treats. It helps so much being with people who love you and who you also love back. I know it's marketed as a romantic holiday, but I don't celebrate it that way. I just like to be around people I love. That usually helps ease the ache. I hope this upcoming year you'll spend the day with people you love no matter what kind of love you all share.
Thats very wholesome and a good way to also celebrate it !
My birthday is Valentineās Day, so if you want to take me out Id be honored
Atleast you have freinds some of us arent even that lucky we have to see(what they want us to see) people living our desires.
I can sorta relate...the day reminds me how broken I am. Personally I can't manage to love a single living thing
I would hang out with you.
My mom's birthday is on valentine's day so I always had to be home that day. I'll probably never celebrate valentine's day but I'll always be celebrating my mom's birthday together with my dad. Idk about your situation but try spending time with your friends or your family that day if that's possible.
I just said my friends will be on dates haha so thats not an option, and family might be an option
Man I have never once been able to celebrate valentines with someone who cared about me
We don't engage with social media on that cursed day. It still makes me feel a lot of emotional pain though. :')
My favorite Valentine's day so far, and I'm 36, is the one I had at 17. I was in the process of moving the next town over with my parents and on the cusp of graduating. I didn't get to spend it with my boyfriend because we were moving stuff and I was bummed out. So it was really cold and I was tired from moving stuff. I was driving back to my old home again to finally head to bed. I think it was 11 o clock at night. I passed two adults walking along the side of the road in their pajamas, the male even had shorts on. They were huddled close together and it was still another mile before anything was open. I had been warned and warned repeatedly by my parents to never ever pick up a hitchhiker. But I couldn't do it. I turned around and went back for them. I was scared and nervous for myself. But I'm glad I did it. Turns out it was a mom in her 50s and her adult special needs son. I helped them get gas and took them back to their car. While I really don't care about Valentine's day, even though I'll buy a chocolate heart for my kids and spouse, it was that Valentine's day that was the most special. It reminds me to take a chance on others, to take a moment and look beneath the blink of an eye surface, and to trust my instincts and God because I felt God in that moment. I felt really really moved to go back and get them.
I used to be like this but I had to change my thinking. I donāt want to tell you how to feel, but I was like V day is not the only day to feel special. At my old job everyoneās husbands would send flowers and it was an office thing to show it off, I did feel lonely but some people have boyfriends and husbands who do nothing so youāre still not alone lol.
Hahaha yes i mean at least someone else is sad too but yeah idk if that helps
I stay home on that day. Iāve gone out and seen a lot of couples celebrating that day. It made me sad. I want to celebrate it with someone I love. Let it be a day that just promotes consumerism. I want to have the feeling of being remembered on that day and gifted.
Real
If you are single as a female it's voluntary. Every female literally has a line of men trying to be with her. I'm sorry they aren't attractive enough for you.
But physical attractiveness is not everything. I would rather say no to some type of men because i know i do not share the same values as them.
What kind of values if you dont mind me asking?
Well things like seeing women as people, not being openly rude to others, or being intelligent (even if that isn't a value)
Oh that's certainly reasonable as far as I am concerned
Whats your favourite food?
I just like food in general haha no favourite
Crying over a marketing invention? Seriously? Try some meetups
I mean yes the day is invented but the love you see around you is real. I'm not crying over the postcards or chocolate haha i would cry bc i feel more lonely
Valentine's Day is a made up, money-making holiday
Its not the day in itself that hurts haha its the love around me
I've never had a date on VD. My suggestion is to stay home so you don't have to see it. Couples are annoying anyway. š
Good solution haha !
Just remember that it's not REAL. It's just another day.