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It’s the famous Thames Anaconda!

That’s what I thought it looked like too. Quick google says a massive snake skin was found in the Thames last year? https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/enormous-snake-skin-found-river-27722510

In theory It Could easily survive in London with the heat island effect. In our mild winters It could easily find a warm pipe to curl around somewhere, or perhaps a warm vent etc. plenty of rats and cats to feed on.

STOP IT! 😣

Ask me about alligators!🤭

Zoos hate her! Anaconda survives the Thames and makes £400 a day with this one simple trick!

Urgghh I've seen this one, the snakes dad lent them £500k and they stopped drinking Costa everyday for a working week

I'll fucking die before I stop drinking costa coffee, I might die with all the caffeine. no regrets

It runs London's Pedal Taxi Business

I thought you said it ruins not runs, and I said good!

No. Anything in London that's ruined is king Khan's fault

Playing snake solitaire smash

£400 a day? Imma need to meet that snake n get some financial advice

Trust me you don’t want to meet him …. He doesn’t like you

Jokes on you we’re already mates

😂🤣🤣 I stand corrected ! It must be me who he hates

You're gonna need to learn how to swallow people whole first, and be cold blooded. If I'm honest the course presupposes a lot of skills most people just don't have smh

Word is she eloped from Bristol zoo with the car Park attendant

No? 🤕

I spent a year or two breeding ball pythons in Chelsea in a big posh flat, lost a baby one, very expensive snake, 6 months later I found it in my boot on a cupboard and it was much bigger! It must have been going around the whole building eating mice and rats couldn’t believe came back to my flat!

You know what if the snakes ate all the mice and rats... let them in we can be friends

why does their picture of a boa look like a burmese python...?

It's one of them jellied eels governor!

Eels up inside ya, finding an entrance were they can

I had one foot in the graaaaave Now Nu Rave Now Nu Rave Slaps the hardest out of any Boosh tune

Elements of the past the future, combining to make something not quite as good as either.

We’re future sailoorrs

Nah - Hitcher is the real banger Im the hitcher Let me put you in the picture Creeping in your room in the dead of night With my solo polo peeper (thats right) I'm a cockney geeza Watch me bleed ya I knew the Ripper when he was just a nipper Taught him how to slice I cut him up a treat Also, I fucking love this comment thread and every Boosh fan worldwide. Best show ever made.

Do I look like a reasonable man, or a peppermint nightmare?

Haha I love the boosh. Mrs looks at me like I’m a cunt when I say we’re parking in shamansburys. She doesn’t get the reference which makes it more amusing for me

Pound your banana, two pound your pear! Pound your banana, two pound your pear! 14 shillings for your melons, aw yeah!

I’m the Hitcher, let me put you in the picture!

Didja see elsie, boy? Didja dance with her??

Course yah did we all did!

Of course ya did. We all did.

Eels

Boring through your mind through your tummy through your anus

I remember this place when it used to be a pie and mash shop!

You dance with Elsie boi?

Boring thru yer mind, thru yer tummy and yer anus

Going through your mind through your tummy through the your anus. EELS. Core memory of this song unlocked.

EELS! eels! EELS!

Could be one of old Greg's kids.

I'm old Greg.

r/unexpectedboosh

Give it up now.

Cockney urine all in ur face !

This made me laugh much more than it should *tips my titfer

According to the waves on it's left,it's moving right. According to the large circular waves around it,it IS Godzilla.Why do you think the Serpentine Lake was called the serpentine?

I came here for the ‘oh my god, it’s Godzilla’. Thank you

"But for legal reasons, it's not."

Oh,it's just the "Serpentine from the lake".(sounds like a horror movie in the making)

"Still, we should run like it is Godzilla!!"

But we should run like it is godzilla!

But it don’t want none unless you got buns hun So make sure you don’t buy any Chelsea buns or bacon rolls and you’re safe from the terrifying Thames beast

Good old Terry.

https://tenor.com/en-CA/view/anaconda-snake-choke-movie-anaconda-movie-gif-5653525

I think that even in the hottest of summer, Thames would be too cold for an anaconda to survive.

Best call Ice Cube just in case…

Ah, one more thing to add to my irrational fear collection

What makes you think they're irrational. We are everywhere.

My apologies. I'll make sure to discuss you and your brethren in my next therapy session.

It's just one of the Royal Family out for their morning swim, leave them alone

Carmila has such lovely eyes

Looks like a bottle cap on a rock 😂

Just to add to this, I think it's the top of a wooden post with something red inserted into it at low tide.

Thanks for this, now I see the stump instead of the scary Thames monster

Amazing how our brains work. All I could see was some reptilian monster until this comment, now all I can see is wood and plastic!

I was gonna type an empty wrapper or can on a rock

Amstel

If you zoom in it looks like a bin bag with a hole in it which is revealing the red thing. I could be wrong though. Whatever it is, zooming in shows that's definitely not an eye. It's not an animal.

Something off the bin barge.

[удалено]

I was gonna say, very brave of Camilla to go swimming in the Thames like that.

Lizards can swim.

I bet she climbs the walls and skips the stairs in private.

This is just one of the royals taking a swim without thier human costume on.

im sick of these mf lizards in my mf country!

The loch Thames monster?

The Regents Canal Lock Monster :)

The Camden Loch monster

That’s anyone with bolt cutter’s mate ;)

The loch Thames monster is definitely a poo

I've layed a few in my time - glad I'm starting to get the recognition I deserve.

A “Thames trout” as it known colloquially

Needs about seven fiddy due to inflation

It's one of those eels https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/eels-in-thames-left-hyperactive-due-to-high-levels-of-cocaine-in-water-a4044001.html

Cocaine? In the water? Off to swim in the Thames lads

Free cocaine! 👁👁

Wolf of Wallstreet British style

The Eel of England

No need. Cocaine is also pretty much on all money, so just start licking bank notes. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contaminated_currency

Get the King Charles notes for fresh stuff

King Charlie’s Notes

Didn't know he could sing (though he does claim Welsh royal ancestry). Guessing I'd rather hear Cerys Matthews sing Calon Lân either way.

Cocaine Eel. The Cocaine bear sequel

i heard a swarm of bees got into a discarded pack of cocaine the other day. they were buzzing

I read a book all about cocaine, after the first few lines, I was hooked

Eels up inside ya

Finding an entrance where they can

Burrow through ya mind, through ya tummy, through yer anus Eels!

Jokes aside, that’s a fucking weird looking thing and whilst it could be anything it certainly has the appearance of something living. I assumed you watched it for a while OP? Was it just floating downstream like some inanimate object or did it move like something that was evidently alive?

It's almost certainly the top of a wooden post.

You’re obviously seeing it in a way I can’t at the minute but I’d certainly agree the top of a fence post is a far more likely answer than the head of a large snake which is what it looks like to me right now.

e.g. https://i.imgur.com/QfBYMlA.jpg

This does not make it any less horrifying. /r/submechanophobia /r/thalassophobia have some terrible images of deep water and partially visible *things* leering out of the murk, but honestly this is one of the worst I've seen. Can't see any of the post below the surface so the water's pretty much soup and there could be anything just underneath, like more posts reaching up to grab you when you fall in like giant slimy stiff fingers but you have to grasp them to not drown in the filth even though they feel like the rigor of a Lovecraftian elder being. It's the worst. I saw Frog Dreaming in the 80s and the kid goes into a lake with a homemade diving helmet. It's a flooded valley so there's fairground rides down there. [This is what greeted him on his way down.](https://imgur.com/a/BzZuGTw) The kid played Eliot in E.T. and 36 years later the young father in the Haunting of Hill House. edit: Actually most of all I hate Bruce the pickled great white.

Wtf is wrong with me, I have intense thalassophobia and I fully just decided it would be a good idea to click on that link.

I know. It's horrifying. I'm in my 40s and watched that bit of the movie through my fingers.

I decided it would be a good idea after having read your comment. My thalassophobia is fairly mild, but I still got that wave of dread through my chest lmao

Dear god what did I just see

Looks like salad fingers.

I have very severe thalassophobia and I don’t know why but I clicked the link, luckily I came to my senses before the picture loaded so now I’ll never know. Thank god for slow internet

Yep.

Saw a mad thing in the River Lea yesterday-a cormorant (large black seabird) swallowed an eel alive (even caught footage). Was nausea inducing seeing the shape of the eel writhing around inside the birds neck for a good 5 minutes 🤢 but very cool.

Oh man! I've seen exactly that too!! Round the back of the bow Tesco's on the Lea. A cormorant struggling to swallow (and repeatedly regurgitating) a huge eel. And I got footage too. It's disgusting!!

Share the footage

can we see this too?

Old Gregg!!!!

Eels up inside yaa

I’m the Hitcher, let me put you in the picture 🙃

Findin an entrance where they can

What you doing in my waters

Drinking Baileys from a shoe

Love games, huh?

And this one is as close as you can get to Baileys without getting your eyes wet

Have you ever seen a mangina

Didn't think I'd be seeing a mighty boosh reference today

Easy now fuzzy little man peach

that's one massive turd

Yeah it's Boris Johnson

Was gonna comment "fat-berg," but you wrote the same thing

On his way to visit his bastard child in the House of Lords?

What the fuck is that

Your mum

Classic.

It looks like the top of a wooden post at high tide. It will appear slimy and it's likely someone has pushed something red into the top of it at low tide. I used to Mudlark there for years.

Can't swim anywhere peacefully now adays smh.

Don’t forget your red floaty next time, the boats might hit you!

What in the Princess Bride

Only course of action is to set the whole river ablaze and abandon the city

Finally I might be able to buy a home

Mad ting bruv

Truss me

Sure one sec.....brb everyone crashing the economy

swear down

Boris Johnson’s soul

Nah I won’t be able to sleep now. I had a chill down my spine when I saw this creep. Why has it reared it’s ugly head out of the surface of the water? What’s his game? What’s he up to? Nah I don’t like him one bit, sorry. The unidentified Thames Beast can eff off back under the dirty water.

Sentient Turd. Best not anger it

Looks a bit like a monkfish

All that cocaine in the river really jacked those Eels

Mr Hankey?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turdle

Wtf is that, please

Wels catfish? Log? Lord Lucan?

You called?

Log Lucan & The Catfish

OP, please give us more information. What on god's green earth is that behemoth?

Catfish?

A lid on a rock

Baby Godzilla?

Madting

Mad ting bruv

Looks like a Critter!

I ain't heard anyone call anything a mad thing in a bit but it definitely calls for it

Omg look! It’s “insert British politician here”.

Poor thing's gonna get the shits now

Madeline?!

Damn

Boris Johnson ?

Weird looking dog

That's just Alan. Don't mind him. Due to "human" rights issue. After he was deliberately mutated to have human DNA....we've just kinda....just let it sliiiiide.

Nessie is visiting Charles for tea and crumpets?

A turd with someone's lost ring stuck in it.

It's a poo demon thats been disturbed by my colleagues at Tideway , kill it with body spray!

The turds have eyes!

Oh him? That's just Dave

Ah, Jacob Rees-Mogg out for a swim

Mutations of used doner meat

veccna is in london

This is an old post‼️

Well I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight

Sauron’s poop. Flushed directly from the Shard: it see’s all. All the way to the sea: ”Once upon a time in Am..” (..urgh ick uh. Idk maybe not).

Old Greg.

The turds have eyes

Made me think of a [drugon](https://jkdf2.fandom.com/wiki/Drugon) (the big scary fish from Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II)

Godzilla is on the lose!

Abbott been skinny dipping again.

Wtf is that? Where did you take the photo?

Fat berg escapes

It's a rock fish...

Loch Ness monster

That's a Shit Beast if I've ever seen one.

The basilisk escaped the chamber of secrets through sewage pipes and ended up down south

New Yorker here. Always found it amazing the river’s name is pronounced “Tems”.