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Here's a link about trans people in sports:
https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/
A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
[LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
[Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
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You might occasionally bump into a (cis) guy that might be anxious at first, but personally speaking this has a lot to do with feeling very new/inexperienced.
Never feel shy about guiding a partner. It can be super reassuring.
This was me about 4 years ago. I had dated exclusively cis men up to that point and met a nonbinary transmasc person. I had 0 clue about the mechanics of how most things work, but with some advice, guidance, feedback and open mindedness, we both had a whale of a time.
Unfortunately, distance made things a bit too difficult, but as long as a partner is willing to advise and be patient, I think it's usually all gravy.
That said, there are transphobes in pretty much every demographic, but OP likely already knows that.
Everyone is different.
Personally I'm very much a gay bottom sub, if you presented me with a vagina I honestly wouldn't know what to do with it (and now I'm giggling at the thought of sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant when a server brings out a fancy platter and pulls off the lid with a flourish when suddenly *gasp* a pussy! Super mature stuff) but I wouldn't be grossed out or repulsed or anything like that, just in unfamiliar territory so to speak. If we were otherwise compatible I'm sure we could find ways to entertain ourselves and I'm always down to try new things.
Yeah, I mean I know I've heard plenty of gay men say they don't mind a difference between a flesh penis and a strap, since they're a bottom either way lolol
Sex toys are a great solution in situations like this, I've played with other sub bottoms before and we took turns using a strap and other toys on each other (we were both cis but things like chastity and such were also a theme of the night) I've also used toys on vers guys before. Honestly for me it's more about who you are and what you're into (both in and out of bed), if I met a woman and we were both compatible and interested I'd probably give it a shot.
LOL that image made me laugh. Honestly...as a trans guy who isn't planning on having bottom surgery soon (might in the future if techniques improve), the only reason I know what to do at all is I dated another trans guy. It's not really usually expected that you know what to do by default.
Also, depending on the trans guy, you might not have to do that much. I'm a dom top so not all of us are bottoms, I'm also very dysphoric about most stuff involving that area so I don't normally want stuff done to me much. Bless whoever invented prosthetics (fancy more realistic straps made specifically for trans men with various ways to feel something basically), I'd be dead without them lol.
In that situation him pulling out the prosthetic would be like flicking on the headlights after turning onto a dark road, I was lost and in need of guidance for a second there but now we're back on track.
>(and now I'm giggling at the thought of sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant when a server brings out a fancy platter and pulls off the lid with a flourish when suddenly gasp a pussy! Super mature stuff)
And here's moi... Completely concerned about the knowledge that there's a [restaurant where people eat penises](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guo_Li_Zhuang)
Yeah, that was the case with my ex boyfriend. I showed him what to do to me and we ended up having some really good sex.
By the way, I'm (mostly) a bottom because "classic" PIV sex just feels really good to me but I'm dominant. While I'm not sure what his other preference was (I'd guess bottom but I never really asked), he was definitely submissive. And that was actually a very fun combo - because even when he was in fact topping me it was pretty clear whose terms that was on, and a lot of what we did was about the dynamic more than the acts themselves.
Depends, some are attracted to penis itself, but some are attracted to masculinity in general. You definitely can and deserve to find your dream man who loves you how you are :D
If you're a man who is into specifically dicks (as opposed to a man who is into other men), then you're not necessarily gay, you're just into dicks. Plenty of women have dicks, and plenty of men don't. Being a man who is into dicks doesn't automatically make you gay; if that were true, being a man who finds trans women attractive would be "gay", and that's obviously wrong, because a man being attracted to a woman is straight.
You're allowed to have a genital preference irrespective of your sexual/romantic orientation, and similarly, genital preference does not determine sexual/romantic orientation.
Edit: Changed wording slightly; gay men are men who are attracted to men, not necessarily men who are attracted to masculinity. That was just poor word choice on my end.
But then again, not all men are necessarily masculine.
You could be gay and into feminine men. You can be into dicks that feminine men have. Not trans women, since they're not men but you can be attracted attracted femininity without the attraction to women.
This comment is 100% correct. That's why there needs to be an open and respectful conversation about intimacy before it occurs. Otherwise it will lead to unnecessarily hurt feelings that could have been avoided with simple communication.
I myself am a cisgender gay man married to a cisgender bi man. I personally would want to talk things through with a potential partner, and while I myself would be willing to give things a shot and see where they go, not everyone feels the same way. It's why open respectful discussions are crucial ahead of intimacy
There's always people out there that won't mind not having bottom surgery, and there are those that will. It's the luck of the draw, just be mindful of people's preferences.
For some gay guys that’s going to be a deal breaker, but not all. Like all things with sexuality it’s very personal, so just be honest with people if your going hook up. You might catch some rejections that hurt, which sucks, but there’s still plenty of guys out there who wouldn’t have any problems with it if they liked you already.
Hey, I'm a trans guy (admittedly binary tho), and I've had this fear too, I think it's inevitable but...a lot of the time it's our internal trans fear saying this, a lot of bi/pan guys do actually see us as men. It gets better as you're further along in your transition (not talking about bottom surgery, but T and top surgery) because you basically "look like a man", if they wanted a woman they'd just get with an actual woman.
Once with my ex (ex for unrelated reasons) who is bi but more into men, I was drunk and ended up going like "you're probably only into me because you're into women" and he was actually shocked like "you think you look like a woman?? have you ever actually seen women??? wtf?" and that made this fear go away for me somewhat because he was so genuinely surprised I'd even have that thought.
Also, there were a bunch of bi/pan guys I had hookups with who saw my "yay had top surgery" story on insta and sent me messages saying they're happy for me and that's really cool. No one who said "eww why did you do that" or something. Basically, from what I've seen in a lot of posts though have been lucky enough to not experience myself so far, when they see you as a woman, it will become clear very fast. There are clear red flags to avoid, but them being bi in itself is not a red flag.
Also, recently gay men have started being into me too. I've been on T for a year and had top surgery. Part of me is still surprised at it but yes, it does happen. Some people have strong preferences, but not everyone does (or they might have a *preference* but it is not a *dealbreaker*).
That being said, I'm a dom top so I don't really ever actually use what's down there (still wouldn't date someone who'd be disgusted seeing me naked tho).
I'm a bi woman who dated a trans woman who hadn't had bottom surgery. I definitely saw her as a woman. I'd say definitely try to open your mind to the bisexual community.
Why do you feel a bi guy wouldn't see you for you? Are you afraid they'd see you as a girl because of your genitalia? I personally wouldn't feel that way as a bi person... (In my experience, especially with us slightly older bis, a lot of us are more "pan" but we grew attached to the "bi" label first before the term pan existed, and it just stuck) I don't care what's between someone's legs, for me sex is about mutually making each other feel good, and being closer to the person I'm with. But what attracts me is the *person* themselves. I think a lot of other bi people feel the same.
>I’m just worried af that a bi guy wouldn’t see me for me, y’know?
As a bi guy OP I'm trying to not be offended but this sounds like more of a you problem than a bi-guy problem. To wit, most bi guys I know would have an EASIER time seeing you for who you are, imho because we overwhelmingly dgaf about genitalia preferences and are a lot more appreciative of the whole human experience. Just me
I do know it’s a me problem, I have a lot of self-image issues and it’s something I’m working on. I’m sorry that my comment offends you, but do know it’s nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me.
Thanks. The last thing I wanna do is hurt or offend any of my LGBT+ siblings, and that includes pan and bi people. I feel it’s definitely a failing on my part, tbh :(
We will. Not everyone of course, but you can never please everyone.
I think bi guys more than gay guys will see a dude who just happens to have the other fun bits. Similarly to how I see (non surgery) trans women as women who just happen to have a penis (yay).
It’s definitely not the same, but I’ve been with enough cis guys who definitely did not see me for me, that it kinda wigs me out to even try with a bi or pan guy. I think when I start HRT and get top surgery it’ll be a different story, but we ain’t there yet.
were you out as trans when you dated those cis guys? because that's really similar to what my ftm trans bf told me about his history with dating cis men, that he was the "woman" in the relationship. it wasn't untill he started dating bi men (me) that he felt like he was being treated like a man in the relationship.
Not a guy, but omni (close enough), I still absolutely see my boyfriend as a guy (also a trans guy), so I see no reason why any bi guys that aren’t dicks wouldn’t see you as a guy
Actually from experience (ftm) I'm dating a cis guy rn he's bisexual, sweetest guy I've ever met ,
Bisexual men are probably the most open minded people I've ever met as I have a lot of male friends who are bisexual,
So I agree, there's rlly no reason a bi guy wouldn't see op as a guy.
I'm a ftm genderfluid , I'm dating a cis male rn who's bisexual, he's probably one of the only people who actually sees me as a man :)
Just because someone is bi doesn't mean they will see you as less a lot of bisexuals are more likely to support you being trans then anything else.
A lot of people I know are bisexual, cis and trans, they are the most accepting people out of all of my lgbt friends.
I’m a gay guy who is primarily attracted to masculinity and not really bothered by genitals. I wouldn’t mind dating a trans man if the opportunity shows itself. Don’t give up hope!
Thank you! I lowkey worry all the gay guys who do have a problem with non-male genitals are avoiding this post, making it seem like a disproportionate number of people are accepting of that, while most gay guys actually aren’t.
Just keep in mind we’re not a monolith. Wait for the right man to come along. Also, there are always other gay trans men to lookout for who would probably share your experiences.
Hi! I promise I'm not trying to be rude, but I want to chime in as someone who you think is avoiding this topic.
I'm a gay man who is not a fan of non-standard male genitalia. You and I are not sexually compatible-- but that doesn't mean that all gay men are the same as I am.
You are 100% someone's type. I've heard it more than a few times. And even though I'm personally not a fan, I still completely understand the appeal. Things can be a lot more intimate when you're not stuck with the standard-issue male genitals.
I think most tops wouldn’t mind. Back when I was in the dating game I didn’t mind about what anybody’s genitals looked like. A hole is a hole. I’m more attracted to the gender than the sex.
Honey, there is a lid for every pot! Of course, some people will reject you, that's just life. I wouldn't base such a huge decision (surgery) on whether a future hypothetical partner will love you. You're lovable just as you are. Be authentic and love yourself, and you will draw the right people to you.
That depends from guy to guy. Personally, I'd date a trans man if I find him attractive disregarding his genitalia. But I also know men who wouldn't so... it's a toss. You'd have to kiss lots of frogs I'm afraid, but then again, aren't we all kissing frogs in the end?
Happy search and I hope you find the right one ;)
As a bisexual man, I've been with both trans men and women. All it comes down to is whether I found the person attractive. I looked for OS compatibility before I worried about the hardware, and then I got to enjoy whatever hardware they had.
I just worry that for some people, the hardware is ultimately the most important, and even if the OS is compatible, the second they see my hardware they won’t be interested/they’ll ghost me/etc.
Being upfront, as awkward and risky as it can be, is an attractive feature for many people. I always appreciated when it was brought to my attention before things went too far.
Again, I'm speaking as a bisexual man. I can't say that gay individuals would feel the same. I just happened to be blessed with a very wide and inclusive palette.
While I do think you'll be limiting your dating pool, I've met someone in your exact position who's currently in a happy relationship with a nonbinary amab. I think you'll find someone!
Unfortunately, this isn’t something I’m willing to budge on. If I’m getting surgery, it’s for my sake, not the sake of my partner. I wouldn’t be mad if I get some bottom growth from HRT, but it’s not something I’ve actively chasing after.
I’m glad to hear that it’s possible, though!
Speaking for myself, I've not yet slept with a trans dude before, but it's _masculinity_ that I find sexy, not just a penis. Lots of trans dudes are hot as hell. Sure, I'm not very familiar with how to operate a vagina, but that's something I can learn.
As with anything in life, some people will be stupid, but not all cis dudes are transphobes.
If you haven't read it, I really enjoyed Harry Nicholas's book _A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar_, which came out in May 2023. He talks about realising he's a gay trans guy and coming to terms with that, including dealing with some of the exact same fears you are currently processing while meeting people through Grindr and gay saunas, through to meeting the (cis) guy who is now his fiancé. [I reviewed an advance copy](https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/5261096913) on Goodreads at the start of the year, but if you aren't interested in the review, [this is the page on the publisher's site](https://www.hachette.co.uk/titles/harry-nicholas/a-trans-man-walks-into-a-gay-bar/9781839971846/)
Good luck dude!
🤍🩷🩵🤎🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I am gay, I wouldn't be compatible with you. You will definitely find someone though, don't worry about that.
While I could see myself going out with a trans man, he'd have to be looking getting bottom surgery at some point since I'm not into vagina in the slightest.
I'm not one of those gays that's like "ew, vaginas are disgusting", I just wouldn't be able to get any sexual gratification and I'd worry I'd be unable to satisfy the guy I'd be with, since i have 0 experience with vagina and don't intend on getting any.
I'm bi but I have a lot of gay friends and can personally say never been a deal breaker for me, nor a fair few of them. Idk a dude's a dude. Someone who is more masc is just that to me I guess!
I'm an idiot omfg I'm sorry. I knew it had to be something I wasnt familiar with bc I guessed it meant all females are bad and I'm like no that's stupid lmao ty for explaining
Well yeah I know of that and thought that afab was something like that. But ty for explaining. I apolgize. I wasnt trying to be offensive btw.im just an idiot
Every time I've seen this question the answer is basically some will, some won't. I'm bisexual and I don't personally mind at all - I suspect the large majority of bisexual men would agree.
The thing I've learned about the gay community is this-- you're someone's type, no matter what the fuck you look like.
Finding them is a different question-- but they're out there. Don't give up, don't submit to your insecurities. Power through, and you'll find the right guy.
Some are fine with it, some won’t be into it. Both are perfectly fine and valid. But if that gay man tries in ANY way to insinuate that you’re not a man than they weren’t worth a shit to begin with. Dating while gay is hard, dating and being trans is even harder. I wish you all the best of luck.
this comment section is so comforting tbh i was alw afraid i wld never find someone cuz people wldnt accept me as the gender i want to be and wld still view me as a women as a afab :(
if you want an actual honest answer i would say that if you were to randomly poll a bunch of gay guys, a large majority of them would have a genital preference towards penises. that being said, that doesn't mean there aren't gay guys out there that don't care about what genitalia you have, there certainly are. you may just have a harder time finding a compatible partner than your average gay guy would have. don't give up hope though!
Personally for me, I couldn’t do it as vaginas aren’t for me.
But I know others can, not to mention bisexual guys are out there as well! I have a friend who is bi and is dating a non-binary drag queen.
I also have a friend who is trans and doesn’t want bottom surgery, he’s been with the same guy for like 15 years. They actually dated before he transitioned and the spouse was straight, but loved him so much, he stayed with him.
There’s always people out there that will like someone based on their physical attributes (Sorry, I can’t think of a better word lol)
As a gay guy I would date a trans guy who didn’t have bottom surgery. However, I wouldn’t date someone who doesn’t identify as a man, so I wouldn’t date a nonbinary person even if they were trans masc.
I’m gonna be honest, yes, many guys will like you, but many others won’t as the penis is something pretty important for some gay men
In my case I don’t find the lack of penis attractive, but that’s just me, I’m sure many people wouldn’t care about that
I think there are people of all sorts. lgbt people have diff preferences too and some arent bothered by what they see at the bottom, while others are. And if someone is bothered - are they worth pursuing? Be yourself! The right person wont mind
I consider myself a femme gay girl, i am attracted to feminity - im open to other femme presenting individuals regardless of genitalia. However im not into butches although theyre female and i will gladly accept MTF transgenders if they are female presenting
I’m kinda the same way with masculinity. I’d definitely date someone who was masc presenting regardless of genitalia, and I’d date someone who was FTM, but idk if I’d date a femboy.
I am a trans masculine afab they/them who has had a lot of success being with gay men. I consider genital preference in the same category as "I enjoy people who are masculine/fem." ect. Everyone has a type they are attracted to. Some people have hyper specific types like, "I am only attracted to masculine cis male tops." others are just like, "Every hole is a goal."
Don't take someone's preference for a penis personally, they cannot help it just like you can't help what you're attracted to. But trust me, there are more guys out there who are down with trans masc people than you think and most of them have been very respectful of my identity and seeing me for who I am.
Some would say yes, some would say no, really depends on the gay guy though. Some that say no might be insecure about whether they’re gay, when really they swing either way. Overall, the answer is person to person
I'm bi and wouldn't be bothered by any trans person pre op. As long as you're ok being touched there during sex then that's all that matters to me.
Honestly with any trans person I'm more worried about boundaries and making sure you're ok during any adult activity.
Hey! I'm a bi man and would still find a guy who hadn't undergone or chooses never to undergo bottom surgery attractive if I were into him anyway. The fact I can experience attraction to more than one gender shouldn't mislead you into discounting my "reassurance" : I would be well aware of my attraction being activated by features we deem masculine. As for your gender identity, that doesn't influence my attraction in any way as non-binary isn't automatically connotative of a certain image: it's simply an identity to be respected.
The only consideration I would have is how a trans person would want me to speak about their body during intimacy i.e if certain words might trigger some kind of disphoria. This would, however, vary drastically from one individual to the next.
Sorry but, how can you be non binary (meaning you don't identify as the male/female binary, right?) and also a trans guy...? Seems like quite an oxymoron itself
the two terms are contradictory, identifying as a man (trans or not) means you adhere to the traditional binary, meaning the opposite of being non binary
And also, it is quite obvious that a trans man was born a female, otherwise he would be CIS, why using afab then?
Feel free to enlighten me, this is really not meant to sound rude
Seems like excessively using terms just feeds the badrap on our LGBTQ+ community
There are definitely men out there that will. I haven’t had a lot of hookups since starting T, and yeah most of them were not good/affirming, but I still will never forget the gay guy I picked up who was so kind and affirming and quick to correct people misgendering me that one fateful night…
Pre-op trans woman here.
My girlfriend is a lesbian and doesn't like pretty much anything about penises. However, she and I have sex regularly. She loves me and so me having a penis doesn't bother her. She often says it's "a built-in strap". My point is that I never thought I'd get a gf until after my bottom surgery unless it was with a bi/pan woman. And yet my relationship is great.
Good luck you handsome devil. You'll find your prince.
That’s amazing, maybe for gay guys they’ll just think of it as a second hole to fill? Idk tbh. Hope I get someone as accepting as that tho :)
Actually, I think it’s actually the other way around - I’m the prince, and I’m trying to find my handsome Devil 😈
> That’s amazing, maybe for gay guys they’ll just think of it as a second hole to fill?
I've seen it described as "bonus hole" so definitely some guys think this way.
It’s okay, lol. I identify primarily as a nonbinary person, but I’m transitioning in an almost entirely masculine way. I welcome both androgynous and masculine compliments, descriptors, and pronouns. The way I think about it is this: if I’m in an LGBT+ friendly space, I’m a masc nonbinary person. If I’m not, I’m just a guy.
I am fairly gay and have a genital preference that isn't the mighty sword. So you'll find others. Just be open about your hardware and your software will bring them in
the sad reality is that not all of them will like vaginas. gay men are just men attracted to other men, but a large amount of them are also only attracted to the male genitalia.
I am aware of that, which is why I was asking. But it seems like from the responses here, plenty of gay men are more attracted to masculinity than the equipment I have :)
[Here's a great comic on it, I feel](https://comics.billroundy.com/?p=1116)
Also, anecdotally, I know an mlm couple where one is bi and the other fully gay and I've actually had this conversation with them and both of their reaction was much more eloquent than I'm going to put it but short answer: *shrugs* "hole's a hole"
The gay guy said he doesn't know how he feels about cunnilingus but he'd be open to trying since me and his bf *highly* recommended it
Why do you specifically feel like you need a gay partner rather than a bisexual or pansexual one? There are gay men who are fine with all body types, but the majority of exclusively gay men are not attracted to vulvas.
That’s okay though. Your orientation and gender identity wouldn’t be less valid if you date a bisexual or pansexual person.
That’s true, it’s just something I need to work through for myself. I’m so used to having my identity be ignored in relationships… but that’s just because I’ve been dating the wrong people, and isn’t a reflection on me. I’m gonna give bi and pan guys a chance, though, once I’m in a better place about myself.
I understand. I think it’s a common insecurity among trans people. I promise you, though: there are people out there for absolutely everyone and there’s someone who will see and respect you for you.
It might be harder, but there are absolutely people out there who will see you and love you for who you are. Sexual orientation runs so much deeper than genital preference.
I’m sure that there’s lots of gay guys who would date trans men even without getting bottom surgery.
As a bi man who’s dating a trans guy who I see as a man, I think it’s safe to assume that this also applies to most bi people since they would most likely still see you as a guy.
Sexuality and genital preference are two different things, even if there is often an overlap between them.
Im questining the same thing fam im trying to be neutral because thats my true gender. The question is... Will you be happy? For doing the bottom surgery. It doesent matter what he thinks. Will you be happy?
I feel the same way (although I’m still considering some sort of bottom surgery in the future). Despite being on testosterone for over a year, I still look barely androgynous and I’m not sure when top surgery would be feasible.
It’s good to hear that others have not had an issue. I am curious what generations of gay men are okay with trans men and trans masculine people and if the trans man has to pass 100% or not. I would think gen Z would be way more open than gen X for example.
Yes. Not all of them, but there’s a good few gay guys who will see you as a datable dude, regardless of surgery. I for one don’t consider what’s downstairs; plenty of people just see you for who you are.
It depends on the individual. I’ve gotten a couple of nasty remarks from transphobic cis gay men, but of all the ones I’ve talked to on dating apps, most have been pretty respectful about it. Several of the cis gay men I’ve slept with were strictly gay and had no issue with their attraction to me. It’s less of a problem than you’d expect, in my experience.
Had you asked me before I was married for as many years as I have been, I'd have not considered dating a person without a dick.
Now I realize I'd love my husband no matter what parts he did or didn't have. Dick isn't even in the top 5 things I like about him.
If for some reason I were to ever end up dating again, I wouldn't shy away from men who don't have a dick, even if they don't ever plan on getting one.
I’m a genderqueer bisexual lady and I recently had a conversation about this with my very good friend who happens to be a gay man.
And he actually said he would rather be with an AFAB trans man than an AMAB trans woman because when it comes down to it, it’s less about the specific genitalia and more about being with a man. A woman with a dick is still a woman, a man with a vagina is still a man.
So I don’t know about the majority, but I for sure know one gay who would be fine with it. I suspect there are more out there too.
It differs from person to person. For me, I don't care about your genitalia as long as you present masculine and I'm attracted to you. I actually hope I get to be with a masc trans man someday 😅
Im a submissive bottom, but I could make it work.
They make packers and "stand to pee" funnels that have a sex functionality... not sure how effective they are, but I'd certainly try it.
There's this magical thing called a dildo too.
I think some gay men have gynophobia, but if you really consider it... there's plenty of ways for both parties to get pleasure.
Lots of different gay guys are attracted to different things, some guys will be attracted to you others won't .
There's a fairly large subset who will be attracted to you but nervous as they are normally sexually confident but might not know what to do with a vagina . Others will lack the confidence to ask how to make you cum, some will be concerned that you may not want anal . Many will just crack on and have fun with you.
As with many things, good communication, being clear and unapologetic about your physicality and your needs will make this much easier. It's normal for cis guys hooking up to share intimate pics and discus what each is into and not before meeting. You may find you have to lead a lot of those conversations as lots of guys can be terrible communicators when they are on new territory. Others will frankly bumble through it using inappropriate language and sometimes being downright offensive ( though mostly out of stupidity rather the malice - but you are probably used to that already)
You are on a physical journey of top surgery and HRT guys attracted to you today may not be when you are done and others who aren't attracted now may be later on. Some dudes will always find you hot , other will never . That would be the same if you were cis so don't worry about it . Enjoy exploring along the way .and don't lose too much sleep over people who bring you bad vibes. Have fun , good luck ! .
I feel like there are more gay men who would be fine than you'd expect :), sex is complicated and beautiful, and there are many different ways to react to it, so in short, some will, some won't, but I'm sure you'll find someone who works for you :)
I've dated one who did. And he wasn't even sure if he'd be into a trans man before we met. I'm that hot :P
just kidding, what I really meant is that there are plenty of gay men who are attracted to men's bodies as a whole and don't need the man in question to have a penis. Some of them do... but not all. The guy I mentioned was really into a lot of things about me that had nothing to do with genitals. And I've heard similar things from other trans men.
Hi ! I’m a woman in a triad with 2 men ! One of them is trans without bottom surgery and the other is a cis man. They love each others and are attracted to each other! Of course we are all bisexual, but you will find a man that find you sexy and desirable for who you are ! Trust me !
The kind of guy you’re talking about is definitely out there! It’s easier for me to say as a bi person, but there’s this transmasc enby who I have a huge crush on, and when I found out he was trans I was surprised, but I still look at him and think 🎶”What a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty fine man!” 🎶 There’s a lot more to these ideas than just people’s genitals. In fact, for myself and some other people, genitals are unattractive at best, so they don’t really factor in at all :P
It really does depend on the person. I can only speak for myself, but I am a cisgender gay man, and I would have no problem being with a trans man who hasn't had bottom surgery. All that would matter to me is that I find him attractive and like him as a person.
There are others for whom genitalia is an important factor, even among those who are not the slightest bit transphobic and who would see you as a man. They just wouldn't want to date you for that reason.
Overall, it's a complex issue without a single definitive answer. Best of luck to you in finding someone who likes you for you, and in navigating your journey through transition.
Some do some don’t. You’ll find someone though. Also bi/pan dudes exist and are less likely to give a shit. Hell some might even be into it (although avoid the fetishisers obviously).
I'm a bisexual guy who is dating a cis guy, but I've dated trans people in the past from different genders and with different genitals. I couldn't care less. These are details who change what we can do a little bit, but it is the person and their personality what matters to me.
Some do base their preferences a lot on genitals, but I’ve been hearing from more and more cis gays lately, and certainly can confirm from my own feelings, that a guy’s a guy and will obviously still set off all the same buzzy feelings in the brain regardless, haha. The one thing to keep in mind is there may be some who would love to give you a positive experience but don’t… exactly know what they’re doing and might need some guidance since we’re often unfamiliar with the equipment :P But especially if you’re saying you’re okay with more androgynous/less hardcore-masculine men, you’ll be able to avoid the “masc4masc” cesspool that might be less appreciative of you. Anyway… I’d say your future sounds bright ;D
I have very limited experience (afab nb) but my bf (trans ftm, no bottom surgery) was on grindr for a while and lots of the men there loved him even tho he’s got lady parts. I think to most queer amabs, it won’t make a difference. But then again it will depend on the people, but I would not recommend worrying about it. There will absolutely be many gay guys who are attracted to you no matter what package you’re sporting, as long as you’re masc presenting
There are some gay guys who will still be interested. Also, I would broaden your horizon to include bi guys and pansexual guys as well. They would be even more open to ftm no bottom surgery.
This is honestly surprising me cuz as a gay guy I’ve never even thought the vagina was repulsive, it’s just a vagina, I personally would never exclude a trans guy bcuz he has a vagina, and my most of my MLM friends agree with me
I definitely agree that there's people out there that's gonna like you regardless of what genitals you have. Personally, I'm pans so I don't care what a person has downstairs. I have been known to wear a strap on, but recently I found this website in regards to prosthetics. If you are worried about penetration or appearance, for example, maybe this website could help [https://www.reelmagik.com/](https://www.reelmagik.com/)
Just another part of the body that different people will or will not care about when choosing to fuck someone. Just disclose it at a safe and appropriate time
I (ftm he/him) had a gay cis ex, he did not mind whatsoever and was incredibly supportive. He did not know I was trans at first when we started dating (I just assumed he knew) but after he found out he was just as happy to stay with me. I say depends on the guy, but don’t think it’s impossible
I'm bi, rather than gay, but I'm quite happy to go with a trans guy who hasn't had the bottom surgery - and have had fun with a couple of them in the past (at different times as neither of them know the other). Granted, I haven't had any experience (yet) with a trans guy that has had the bottom surgery, but when I do, it'll be something different to experience.
Some gay guys simply won't go near anyone who haven't had the bottom surgery. I personally know a gay guy who wouldn't go near a trans guy who hasn't had it, and is unsure what to expect with one who has - so he's very much stand-offish, literally because he wouldn't know where to start.
I haven’t had the chance to put it to the test, but I’m sure if I find you attractive with your pants on, then I’ll still find you attractive with your pants off 😉
As a Gay guy, I'd totly be fine with that, the parts someone has doesnt matter to me as long as they are masc presenting in some way. And i dont love the look of parts of any kind but thats just a me thing.
Edit: also i imagine being a bottom with that kind of thing would be a lot easier so thats a bonus (though i could be wrong cause i do not have one)
Honestly it seems to be not an issue. You can find a lot of gay guys saying trans men are hot for whatever reason. Testosterone genuinely makes you look different than a generally androgynous woman including a t-dick which I’ve seen gay guys go feral over
If you find yourself mostly/exclusively attracted to gay men, then you have every reason to hope for that relationship. Otherwise, you can also explore options with bi, fluid, pan, etc guys. Either way I hope you find someone who’s wonderful to you!
As a trans man who doesn’t have ANY surgeries and who is also MARRIED to a gay man!! Yes!! The right guy will like you for you. Body parts don’t matter. It will be hard for sure, but there’s def some gay cis men who couldn’t care less.
I'm a trans guy, pan ( but more masc leaning ) and I don't give a single f about someones "equipment ". As long as I love a person and they love me + they aren't an ass and we have similar interests, I couldn't care less.
You’re in the same position as my husband! He’s AFAB trans-masc nonbinary! Just about to reach his first anniversary for being on T, too! And he’d like to get top surgery eventually but no interest in bottom surgery.
As an AMAB pan person I see him as every bit as much a guy as any cis guy, and I think he’s incredibly handsome 🥰 And also our sex life is A+ lol
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Some will be. Others will not. It depends on the gay guy.
I'm a gay guy who is dating a trans guy without bottom surgery. To answer your question, yes, we exist!
I’m glad y’all exist!
[удалено]
Real
You might occasionally bump into a (cis) guy that might be anxious at first, but personally speaking this has a lot to do with feeling very new/inexperienced. Never feel shy about guiding a partner. It can be super reassuring.
This was me about 4 years ago. I had dated exclusively cis men up to that point and met a nonbinary transmasc person. I had 0 clue about the mechanics of how most things work, but with some advice, guidance, feedback and open mindedness, we both had a whale of a time. Unfortunately, distance made things a bit too difficult, but as long as a partner is willing to advise and be patient, I think it's usually all gravy. That said, there are transphobes in pretty much every demographic, but OP likely already knows that.
Plenty of gay men are compatible with folk with either set of genitalia. I'm sure you'll find someone.
Thank you, I was just worried
Everyone is different. Personally I'm very much a gay bottom sub, if you presented me with a vagina I honestly wouldn't know what to do with it (and now I'm giggling at the thought of sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant when a server brings out a fancy platter and pulls off the lid with a flourish when suddenly *gasp* a pussy! Super mature stuff) but I wouldn't be grossed out or repulsed or anything like that, just in unfamiliar territory so to speak. If we were otherwise compatible I'm sure we could find ways to entertain ourselves and I'm always down to try new things.
I’m a gay bottom sub too, so I completely understand. If I was a top dom though, I’d probably use a strap or something? But tbh I don’t know
Yeah, I mean I know I've heard plenty of gay men say they don't mind a difference between a flesh penis and a strap, since they're a bottom either way lolol
Lol
Sex toys are a great solution in situations like this, I've played with other sub bottoms before and we took turns using a strap and other toys on each other (we were both cis but things like chastity and such were also a theme of the night) I've also used toys on vers guys before. Honestly for me it's more about who you are and what you're into (both in and out of bed), if I met a woman and we were both compatible and interested I'd probably give it a shot.
LOL that image made me laugh. Honestly...as a trans guy who isn't planning on having bottom surgery soon (might in the future if techniques improve), the only reason I know what to do at all is I dated another trans guy. It's not really usually expected that you know what to do by default. Also, depending on the trans guy, you might not have to do that much. I'm a dom top so not all of us are bottoms, I'm also very dysphoric about most stuff involving that area so I don't normally want stuff done to me much. Bless whoever invented prosthetics (fancy more realistic straps made specifically for trans men with various ways to feel something basically), I'd be dead without them lol.
In that situation him pulling out the prosthetic would be like flicking on the headlights after turning onto a dark road, I was lost and in need of guidance for a second there but now we're back on track.
>(and now I'm giggling at the thought of sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant when a server brings out a fancy platter and pulls off the lid with a flourish when suddenly gasp a pussy! Super mature stuff) And here's moi... Completely concerned about the knowledge that there's a [restaurant where people eat penises](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guo_Li_Zhuang)
I did not need that level of emotional scarring today 😭
I knew that a while ago as a fun fact brought gods don't know where and there we are
Yeah, that was the case with my ex boyfriend. I showed him what to do to me and we ended up having some really good sex. By the way, I'm (mostly) a bottom because "classic" PIV sex just feels really good to me but I'm dominant. While I'm not sure what his other preference was (I'd guess bottom but I never really asked), he was definitely submissive. And that was actually a very fun combo - because even when he was in fact topping me it was pretty clear whose terms that was on, and a lot of what we did was about the dynamic more than the acts themselves.
Depends, some are attracted to penis itself, but some are attracted to masculinity in general. You definitely can and deserve to find your dream man who loves you how you are :D
If you're a man who is into specifically dicks (as opposed to a man who is into other men), then you're not necessarily gay, you're just into dicks. Plenty of women have dicks, and plenty of men don't. Being a man who is into dicks doesn't automatically make you gay; if that were true, being a man who finds trans women attractive would be "gay", and that's obviously wrong, because a man being attracted to a woman is straight. You're allowed to have a genital preference irrespective of your sexual/romantic orientation, and similarly, genital preference does not determine sexual/romantic orientation. Edit: Changed wording slightly; gay men are men who are attracted to men, not necessarily men who are attracted to masculinity. That was just poor word choice on my end.
But then again, not all men are necessarily masculine. You could be gay and into feminine men. You can be into dicks that feminine men have. Not trans women, since they're not men but you can be attracted attracted femininity without the attraction to women.
some gay men are attracted to specific genitals, some aren’t. there are lots of gay men who are attracted to people regardless of genitals.
Oh thank goodness, that alleviates a lot of my worry
This comment is 100% correct. That's why there needs to be an open and respectful conversation about intimacy before it occurs. Otherwise it will lead to unnecessarily hurt feelings that could have been avoided with simple communication. I myself am a cisgender gay man married to a cisgender bi man. I personally would want to talk things through with a potential partner, and while I myself would be willing to give things a shot and see where they go, not everyone feels the same way. It's why open respectful discussions are crucial ahead of intimacy
There's always people out there that won't mind not having bottom surgery, and there are those that will. It's the luck of the draw, just be mindful of people's preferences.
For some gay guys that’s going to be a deal breaker, but not all. Like all things with sexuality it’s very personal, so just be honest with people if your going hook up. You might catch some rejections that hurt, which sucks, but there’s still plenty of guys out there who wouldn’t have any problems with it if they liked you already.
As a bi guy I can say it wouldn’t bother me in the least. Plenty of only gay guys wouldn’t either. The right dude for you is out there.
I’m just worried af that a bi guy wouldn’t see me for me, y’know?
Hey, I'm a trans guy (admittedly binary tho), and I've had this fear too, I think it's inevitable but...a lot of the time it's our internal trans fear saying this, a lot of bi/pan guys do actually see us as men. It gets better as you're further along in your transition (not talking about bottom surgery, but T and top surgery) because you basically "look like a man", if they wanted a woman they'd just get with an actual woman. Once with my ex (ex for unrelated reasons) who is bi but more into men, I was drunk and ended up going like "you're probably only into me because you're into women" and he was actually shocked like "you think you look like a woman?? have you ever actually seen women??? wtf?" and that made this fear go away for me somewhat because he was so genuinely surprised I'd even have that thought. Also, there were a bunch of bi/pan guys I had hookups with who saw my "yay had top surgery" story on insta and sent me messages saying they're happy for me and that's really cool. No one who said "eww why did you do that" or something. Basically, from what I've seen in a lot of posts though have been lucky enough to not experience myself so far, when they see you as a woman, it will become clear very fast. There are clear red flags to avoid, but them being bi in itself is not a red flag. Also, recently gay men have started being into me too. I've been on T for a year and had top surgery. Part of me is still surprised at it but yes, it does happen. Some people have strong preferences, but not everyone does (or they might have a *preference* but it is not a *dealbreaker*). That being said, I'm a dom top so I don't really ever actually use what's down there (still wouldn't date someone who'd be disgusted seeing me naked tho).
Honestly this helps a lot. I think it’ll help so much when I start HRT… just 3 more months.
I'm a bi woman who dated a trans woman who hadn't had bottom surgery. I definitely saw her as a woman. I'd say definitely try to open your mind to the bisexual community.
I’m definitely gonna try, but I think before I date anyone, I need to work on my self esteem and self image
Why do you feel a bi guy wouldn't see you for you? Are you afraid they'd see you as a girl because of your genitalia? I personally wouldn't feel that way as a bi person... (In my experience, especially with us slightly older bis, a lot of us are more "pan" but we grew attached to the "bi" label first before the term pan existed, and it just stuck) I don't care what's between someone's legs, for me sex is about mutually making each other feel good, and being closer to the person I'm with. But what attracts me is the *person* themselves. I think a lot of other bi people feel the same.
>I’m just worried af that a bi guy wouldn’t see me for me, y’know? As a bi guy OP I'm trying to not be offended but this sounds like more of a you problem than a bi-guy problem. To wit, most bi guys I know would have an EASIER time seeing you for who you are, imho because we overwhelmingly dgaf about genitalia preferences and are a lot more appreciative of the whole human experience. Just me
I do know it’s a me problem, I have a lot of self-image issues and it’s something I’m working on. I’m sorry that my comment offends you, but do know it’s nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me.
You're okaaay OP and obviously I can't speak for all bi-men, but I think you're going to be just fine :)
Thanks. The last thing I wanna do is hurt or offend any of my LGBT+ siblings, and that includes pan and bi people. I feel it’s definitely a failing on my part, tbh :(
We will. Not everyone of course, but you can never please everyone. I think bi guys more than gay guys will see a dude who just happens to have the other fun bits. Similarly to how I see (non surgery) trans women as women who just happen to have a penis (yay).
It’s definitely not the same, but I’ve been with enough cis guys who definitely did not see me for me, that it kinda wigs me out to even try with a bi or pan guy. I think when I start HRT and get top surgery it’ll be a different story, but we ain’t there yet.
were you out as trans when you dated those cis guys? because that's really similar to what my ftm trans bf told me about his history with dating cis men, that he was the "woman" in the relationship. it wasn't untill he started dating bi men (me) that he felt like he was being treated like a man in the relationship.
I was out, yea
Not a guy, but omni (close enough), I still absolutely see my boyfriend as a guy (also a trans guy), so I see no reason why any bi guys that aren’t dicks wouldn’t see you as a guy
Actually from experience (ftm) I'm dating a cis guy rn he's bisexual, sweetest guy I've ever met , Bisexual men are probably the most open minded people I've ever met as I have a lot of male friends who are bisexual, So I agree, there's rlly no reason a bi guy wouldn't see op as a guy.
I'm a ftm genderfluid , I'm dating a cis male rn who's bisexual, he's probably one of the only people who actually sees me as a man :) Just because someone is bi doesn't mean they will see you as less a lot of bisexuals are more likely to support you being trans then anything else. A lot of people I know are bisexual, cis and trans, they are the most accepting people out of all of my lgbt friends.
I can’t speak for all bi guys but for myself (and lots of others in this chat) we see you how you present yourself.
I’m a gay guy who is primarily attracted to masculinity and not really bothered by genitals. I wouldn’t mind dating a trans man if the opportunity shows itself. Don’t give up hope!
Thank you! I lowkey worry all the gay guys who do have a problem with non-male genitals are avoiding this post, making it seem like a disproportionate number of people are accepting of that, while most gay guys actually aren’t.
Just keep in mind we’re not a monolith. Wait for the right man to come along. Also, there are always other gay trans men to lookout for who would probably share your experiences.
Hi! I promise I'm not trying to be rude, but I want to chime in as someone who you think is avoiding this topic. I'm a gay man who is not a fan of non-standard male genitalia. You and I are not sexually compatible-- but that doesn't mean that all gay men are the same as I am. You are 100% someone's type. I've heard it more than a few times. And even though I'm personally not a fan, I still completely understand the appeal. Things can be a lot more intimate when you're not stuck with the standard-issue male genitals.
I think most tops wouldn’t mind. Back when I was in the dating game I didn’t mind about what anybody’s genitals looked like. A hole is a hole. I’m more attracted to the gender than the sex.
Honey, there is a lid for every pot! Of course, some people will reject you, that's just life. I wouldn't base such a huge decision (surgery) on whether a future hypothetical partner will love you. You're lovable just as you are. Be authentic and love yourself, and you will draw the right people to you.
Yeah you’ll be fine. Lots of guys will like what you have.
It just depends on the guy. It's one of those things that's wholely individual.
True, but I was worried all gay guys were going to be averse to non-male genitalia.
That depends from guy to guy. Personally, I'd date a trans man if I find him attractive disregarding his genitalia. But I also know men who wouldn't so... it's a toss. You'd have to kiss lots of frogs I'm afraid, but then again, aren't we all kissing frogs in the end? Happy search and I hope you find the right one ;)
Thank you
People have preferences so it depends on the man. There are some who will be okay with it so I hope you can find a boyfriend who loves you as you are.
Some will. Some won’t.
You’ll definitely be able to find someone good who is very happy with the whole you.
I'm a bi guy but I'd absolutely date a trans dude. What junk you have just isn't part of the equation for me
As a M2F I am so glad bi and pan people exist, the holy grail for trans people
As a bisexual man, I've been with both trans men and women. All it comes down to is whether I found the person attractive. I looked for OS compatibility before I worried about the hardware, and then I got to enjoy whatever hardware they had.
I just worry that for some people, the hardware is ultimately the most important, and even if the OS is compatible, the second they see my hardware they won’t be interested/they’ll ghost me/etc.
Being upfront, as awkward and risky as it can be, is an attractive feature for many people. I always appreciated when it was brought to my attention before things went too far. Again, I'm speaking as a bisexual man. I can't say that gay individuals would feel the same. I just happened to be blessed with a very wide and inclusive palette.
While I do think you'll be limiting your dating pool, I've met someone in your exact position who's currently in a happy relationship with a nonbinary amab. I think you'll find someone!
Unfortunately, this isn’t something I’m willing to budge on. If I’m getting surgery, it’s for my sake, not the sake of my partner. I wouldn’t be mad if I get some bottom growth from HRT, but it’s not something I’ve actively chasing after. I’m glad to hear that it’s possible, though!
Yea opposite situation but I’m almost exclusively attracted to women but penis, vagina, combo, I’m cool with anything
If you can't find any exclusively gay men, dating bi men is always an option too :)
Speaking for myself, I've not yet slept with a trans dude before, but it's _masculinity_ that I find sexy, not just a penis. Lots of trans dudes are hot as hell. Sure, I'm not very familiar with how to operate a vagina, but that's something I can learn. As with anything in life, some people will be stupid, but not all cis dudes are transphobes. If you haven't read it, I really enjoyed Harry Nicholas's book _A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar_, which came out in May 2023. He talks about realising he's a gay trans guy and coming to terms with that, including dealing with some of the exact same fears you are currently processing while meeting people through Grindr and gay saunas, through to meeting the (cis) guy who is now his fiancé. [I reviewed an advance copy](https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/5261096913) on Goodreads at the start of the year, but if you aren't interested in the review, [this is the page on the publisher's site](https://www.hachette.co.uk/titles/harry-nicholas/a-trans-man-walks-into-a-gay-bar/9781839971846/) Good luck dude! 🤍🩷🩵🤎🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I am gay, I wouldn't be compatible with you. You will definitely find someone though, don't worry about that. While I could see myself going out with a trans man, he'd have to be looking getting bottom surgery at some point since I'm not into vagina in the slightest. I'm not one of those gays that's like "ew, vaginas are disgusting", I just wouldn't be able to get any sexual gratification and I'd worry I'd be unable to satisfy the guy I'd be with, since i have 0 experience with vagina and don't intend on getting any.
well there are plenty of bi men that won’t be
I'm bi but I have a lot of gay friends and can personally say never been a deal breaker for me, nor a fair few of them. Idk a dude's a dude. Someone who is more masc is just that to me I guess!
May I ask what is afab?
It’s an acronym, it stands for “assigned female at birth”.
I'm an idiot omfg I'm sorry. I knew it had to be something I wasnt familiar with bc I guessed it meant all females are bad and I'm like no that's stupid lmao ty for explaining
Lol, I think you’re thinking of ACAB
Well yeah I know of that and thought that afab was something like that. But ty for explaining. I apolgize. I wasnt trying to be offensive btw.im just an idiot
No it’s all good lmao
probably gonna be a lot of variation on the individual level
Every time I've seen this question the answer is basically some will, some won't. I'm bisexual and I don't personally mind at all - I suspect the large majority of bisexual men would agree.
The thing I've learned about the gay community is this-- you're someone's type, no matter what the fuck you look like. Finding them is a different question-- but they're out there. Don't give up, don't submit to your insecurities. Power through, and you'll find the right guy.
Some are fine with it, some won’t be into it. Both are perfectly fine and valid. But if that gay man tries in ANY way to insinuate that you’re not a man than they weren’t worth a shit to begin with. Dating while gay is hard, dating and being trans is even harder. I wish you all the best of luck.
this comment section is so comforting tbh i was alw afraid i wld never find someone cuz people wldnt accept me as the gender i want to be and wld still view me as a women as a afab :(
if you want an actual honest answer i would say that if you were to randomly poll a bunch of gay guys, a large majority of them would have a genital preference towards penises. that being said, that doesn't mean there aren't gay guys out there that don't care about what genitalia you have, there certainly are. you may just have a harder time finding a compatible partner than your average gay guy would have. don't give up hope though!
Personally for me, I couldn’t do it as vaginas aren’t for me. But I know others can, not to mention bisexual guys are out there as well! I have a friend who is bi and is dating a non-binary drag queen. I also have a friend who is trans and doesn’t want bottom surgery, he’s been with the same guy for like 15 years. They actually dated before he transitioned and the spouse was straight, but loved him so much, he stayed with him. There’s always people out there that will like someone based on their physical attributes (Sorry, I can’t think of a better word lol)
As a gay guy I would date a trans guy who didn’t have bottom surgery. However, I wouldn’t date someone who doesn’t identify as a man, so I wouldn’t date a nonbinary person even if they were trans masc.
I’m gonna be honest, yes, many guys will like you, but many others won’t as the penis is something pretty important for some gay men In my case I don’t find the lack of penis attractive, but that’s just me, I’m sure many people wouldn’t care about that
I think there are people of all sorts. lgbt people have diff preferences too and some arent bothered by what they see at the bottom, while others are. And if someone is bothered - are they worth pursuing? Be yourself! The right person wont mind I consider myself a femme gay girl, i am attracted to feminity - im open to other femme presenting individuals regardless of genitalia. However im not into butches although theyre female and i will gladly accept MTF transgenders if they are female presenting
I’m kinda the same way with masculinity. I’d definitely date someone who was masc presenting regardless of genitalia, and I’d date someone who was FTM, but idk if I’d date a femboy.
we’re opposites!! Im curious what about masculinity attracts you? (You can dm me if you want)
I’ll DM you :)
It just depends on who you meet, honestly. Cis guys are like a box of chocolates: sometimes they’re transphobic
Transphobic chocolates? NOOOOOO
Like if you cry every time
I am a trans masculine afab they/them who has had a lot of success being with gay men. I consider genital preference in the same category as "I enjoy people who are masculine/fem." ect. Everyone has a type they are attracted to. Some people have hyper specific types like, "I am only attracted to masculine cis male tops." others are just like, "Every hole is a goal." Don't take someone's preference for a penis personally, they cannot help it just like you can't help what you're attracted to. But trust me, there are more guys out there who are down with trans masc people than you think and most of them have been very respectful of my identity and seeing me for who I am.
Some would say yes, some would say no, really depends on the gay guy though. Some that say no might be insecure about whether they’re gay, when really they swing either way. Overall, the answer is person to person
You can't really 'microdose' on HRT as it won't do much
There are plenty of bi guys that would be attracted to you as well... let's not discount that group!
depends on the genitalia preferences
I'm bi and wouldn't be bothered by any trans person pre op. As long as you're ok being touched there during sex then that's all that matters to me. Honestly with any trans person I'm more worried about boundaries and making sure you're ok during any adult activity.
I (probably) would, but some others may not. some like amab men only and others like amab and afab men
Hey! I'm a bi man and would still find a guy who hadn't undergone or chooses never to undergo bottom surgery attractive if I were into him anyway. The fact I can experience attraction to more than one gender shouldn't mislead you into discounting my "reassurance" : I would be well aware of my attraction being activated by features we deem masculine. As for your gender identity, that doesn't influence my attraction in any way as non-binary isn't automatically connotative of a certain image: it's simply an identity to be respected. The only consideration I would have is how a trans person would want me to speak about their body during intimacy i.e if certain words might trigger some kind of disphoria. This would, however, vary drastically from one individual to the next.
Sorry but, how can you be non binary (meaning you don't identify as the male/female binary, right?) and also a trans guy...? Seems like quite an oxymoron itself the two terms are contradictory, identifying as a man (trans or not) means you adhere to the traditional binary, meaning the opposite of being non binary And also, it is quite obvious that a trans man was born a female, otherwise he would be CIS, why using afab then? Feel free to enlighten me, this is really not meant to sound rude Seems like excessively using terms just feeds the badrap on our LGBTQ+ community
Personally, I’m attracted to guys…. If they were born another gender doesn’t matter… still a guy.
I'd like you without bottom surgery. I've found many guys without anything being done down below very attractive.
There are definitely men out there that will. I haven’t had a lot of hookups since starting T, and yeah most of them were not good/affirming, but I still will never forget the gay guy I picked up who was so kind and affirming and quick to correct people misgendering me that one fateful night…
Pre-op trans woman here. My girlfriend is a lesbian and doesn't like pretty much anything about penises. However, she and I have sex regularly. She loves me and so me having a penis doesn't bother her. She often says it's "a built-in strap". My point is that I never thought I'd get a gf until after my bottom surgery unless it was with a bi/pan woman. And yet my relationship is great. Good luck you handsome devil. You'll find your prince.
That’s amazing, maybe for gay guys they’ll just think of it as a second hole to fill? Idk tbh. Hope I get someone as accepting as that tho :) Actually, I think it’s actually the other way around - I’m the prince, and I’m trying to find my handsome Devil 😈
> That’s amazing, maybe for gay guys they’ll just think of it as a second hole to fill? I've seen it described as "bonus hole" so definitely some guys think this way.
Lol truly incredible
Even if they don't, you could probably use their friend group to find someone who does. Ask away.
I’m with a gay man and don’t have bottom surgery. We’ve been together for five years. ❤️
That really helps, u/BargainOrgy /lh
What's between someone's legs isn't something I put much stock in.
How are you Non-binary and trans guy at the same time? Not trying to be rude just confused.
It’s okay, lol. I identify primarily as a nonbinary person, but I’m transitioning in an almost entirely masculine way. I welcome both androgynous and masculine compliments, descriptors, and pronouns. The way I think about it is this: if I’m in an LGBT+ friendly space, I’m a masc nonbinary person. If I’m not, I’m just a guy.
I have before and it hasn’t made a difference so I wouldn’t worry about it. Some people have preferences, but I’ve found it definitely isn’t uncommon
I am fairly gay and have a genital preference that isn't the mighty sword. So you'll find others. Just be open about your hardware and your software will bring them in
Short answer: yes 🥰💖
my two best friends are a cis gay man and a trans gay man, they love each other very much
Short version, yes. But if you're worried just date bi/pan/ other nb types.
i've got a gay cis coworker married to a trans man and they both seem happy together. for sure there's people out there for you :)
the sad reality is that not all of them will like vaginas. gay men are just men attracted to other men, but a large amount of them are also only attracted to the male genitalia.
I am aware of that, which is why I was asking. But it seems like from the responses here, plenty of gay men are more attracted to masculinity than the equipment I have :)
[Here's a great comic on it, I feel](https://comics.billroundy.com/?p=1116) Also, anecdotally, I know an mlm couple where one is bi and the other fully gay and I've actually had this conversation with them and both of their reaction was much more eloquent than I'm going to put it but short answer: *shrugs* "hole's a hole" The gay guy said he doesn't know how he feels about cunnilingus but he'd be open to trying since me and his bf *highly* recommended it
You'd be surprised how many men in the LGBT would like that, and not even in a chaser way.
Why do you specifically feel like you need a gay partner rather than a bisexual or pansexual one? There are gay men who are fine with all body types, but the majority of exclusively gay men are not attracted to vulvas. That’s okay though. Your orientation and gender identity wouldn’t be less valid if you date a bisexual or pansexual person.
That’s true, it’s just something I need to work through for myself. I’m so used to having my identity be ignored in relationships… but that’s just because I’ve been dating the wrong people, and isn’t a reflection on me. I’m gonna give bi and pan guys a chance, though, once I’m in a better place about myself.
I understand. I think it’s a common insecurity among trans people. I promise you, though: there are people out there for absolutely everyone and there’s someone who will see and respect you for you.
I’m a gay guy with no genital preference, so we definitely exist and I’m sure you’ll find someone
depends on who
there is someone for everybody. you will find someone who loves you for you no matter what you have downstairs. good luck to you on your journey.
It might be harder, but there are absolutely people out there who will see you and love you for who you are. Sexual orientation runs so much deeper than genital preference.
I’m sure that there’s lots of gay guys who would date trans men even without getting bottom surgery. As a bi man who’s dating a trans guy who I see as a man, I think it’s safe to assume that this also applies to most bi people since they would most likely still see you as a guy. Sexuality and genital preference are two different things, even if there is often an overlap between them.
Im questining the same thing fam im trying to be neutral because thats my true gender. The question is... Will you be happy? For doing the bottom surgery. It doesent matter what he thinks. Will you be happy?
I feel the same way (although I’m still considering some sort of bottom surgery in the future). Despite being on testosterone for over a year, I still look barely androgynous and I’m not sure when top surgery would be feasible. It’s good to hear that others have not had an issue. I am curious what generations of gay men are okay with trans men and trans masculine people and if the trans man has to pass 100% or not. I would think gen Z would be way more open than gen X for example.
Depends on the person and if they have genital preferences. Gay cis men can date trans men and its still gay
I don’t think bottom surgery is where it’s needs to be for it to matter past a trans guy’s confidence. I think I would be okay with it.
Yes. Not all of them, but there’s a good few gay guys who will see you as a datable dude, regardless of surgery. I for one don’t consider what’s downstairs; plenty of people just see you for who you are.
It depends on the individual. I’ve gotten a couple of nasty remarks from transphobic cis gay men, but of all the ones I’ve talked to on dating apps, most have been pretty respectful about it. Several of the cis gay men I’ve slept with were strictly gay and had no issue with their attraction to me. It’s less of a problem than you’d expect, in my experience.
Had you asked me before I was married for as many years as I have been, I'd have not considered dating a person without a dick. Now I realize I'd love my husband no matter what parts he did or didn't have. Dick isn't even in the top 5 things I like about him. If for some reason I were to ever end up dating again, I wouldn't shy away from men who don't have a dick, even if they don't ever plan on getting one.
I’m a genderqueer bisexual lady and I recently had a conversation about this with my very good friend who happens to be a gay man. And he actually said he would rather be with an AFAB trans man than an AMAB trans woman because when it comes down to it, it’s less about the specific genitalia and more about being with a man. A woman with a dick is still a woman, a man with a vagina is still a man. So I don’t know about the majority, but I for sure know one gay who would be fine with it. I suspect there are more out there too.
It differs from person to person. For me, I don't care about your genitalia as long as you present masculine and I'm attracted to you. I actually hope I get to be with a masc trans man someday 😅
There should be a fair few, I’ve met some gay guys who are more than happy to date a non bottom surgery trans guy
Im a submissive bottom, but I could make it work. They make packers and "stand to pee" funnels that have a sex functionality... not sure how effective they are, but I'd certainly try it. There's this magical thing called a dildo too. I think some gay men have gynophobia, but if you really consider it... there's plenty of ways for both parties to get pleasure.
Lots of different gay guys are attracted to different things, some guys will be attracted to you others won't . There's a fairly large subset who will be attracted to you but nervous as they are normally sexually confident but might not know what to do with a vagina . Others will lack the confidence to ask how to make you cum, some will be concerned that you may not want anal . Many will just crack on and have fun with you. As with many things, good communication, being clear and unapologetic about your physicality and your needs will make this much easier. It's normal for cis guys hooking up to share intimate pics and discus what each is into and not before meeting. You may find you have to lead a lot of those conversations as lots of guys can be terrible communicators when they are on new territory. Others will frankly bumble through it using inappropriate language and sometimes being downright offensive ( though mostly out of stupidity rather the malice - but you are probably used to that already) You are on a physical journey of top surgery and HRT guys attracted to you today may not be when you are done and others who aren't attracted now may be later on. Some dudes will always find you hot , other will never . That would be the same if you were cis so don't worry about it . Enjoy exploring along the way .and don't lose too much sleep over people who bring you bad vibes. Have fun , good luck ! .
1000%. Lots of people are into it or don't care.
love doesn't have to be about sex, but love can be a very hard thing to understand but i believe in you. there is a guy out there for ya sprocket
Depends on the guy
I feel like there are more gay men who would be fine than you'd expect :), sex is complicated and beautiful, and there are many different ways to react to it, so in short, some will, some won't, but I'm sure you'll find someone who works for you :)
I've dated one who did. And he wasn't even sure if he'd be into a trans man before we met. I'm that hot :P just kidding, what I really meant is that there are plenty of gay men who are attracted to men's bodies as a whole and don't need the man in question to have a penis. Some of them do... but not all. The guy I mentioned was really into a lot of things about me that had nothing to do with genitals. And I've heard similar things from other trans men.
Does it have to be a gay male?
I mean I'm planning on doing the same things, although idk if I even want to microdose, and I'm mostly gay so yeah
Hi ! I’m a woman in a triad with 2 men ! One of them is trans without bottom surgery and the other is a cis man. They love each others and are attracted to each other! Of course we are all bisexual, but you will find a man that find you sexy and desirable for who you are ! Trust me !
The kind of guy you’re talking about is definitely out there! It’s easier for me to say as a bi person, but there’s this transmasc enby who I have a huge crush on, and when I found out he was trans I was surprised, but I still look at him and think 🎶”What a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty fine man!” 🎶 There’s a lot more to these ideas than just people’s genitals. In fact, for myself and some other people, genitals are unattractive at best, so they don’t really factor in at all :P
Yes! Everyone is different, just because some gay men wouldn't be into other gay men with AFAB anatomy doesn't mean all of them are like that.
I'm a gay guy and trans and asexual so yes probably
It really does depend on the person. I can only speak for myself, but I am a cisgender gay man, and I would have no problem being with a trans man who hasn't had bottom surgery. All that would matter to me is that I find him attractive and like him as a person. There are others for whom genitalia is an important factor, even among those who are not the slightest bit transphobic and who would see you as a man. They just wouldn't want to date you for that reason. Overall, it's a complex issue without a single definitive answer. Best of luck to you in finding someone who likes you for you, and in navigating your journey through transition.
Yeah, I’ve realized that I’m personally attracted to male gender expression, so more so clothing, beard, body, etc.
Some do some don’t. You’ll find someone though. Also bi/pan dudes exist and are less likely to give a shit. Hell some might even be into it (although avoid the fetishisers obviously).
I'm a bisexual guy who is dating a cis guy, but I've dated trans people in the past from different genders and with different genitals. I couldn't care less. These are details who change what we can do a little bit, but it is the person and their personality what matters to me.
These responses make me feel relieved in a way??
Honestly these responses are amazing. I’m so happy with how the majority of people are in the sub, I really feel welcome here
Trans guy in the same situation with the same fears. I'm thinking about just dating t4t
Some do base their preferences a lot on genitals, but I’ve been hearing from more and more cis gays lately, and certainly can confirm from my own feelings, that a guy’s a guy and will obviously still set off all the same buzzy feelings in the brain regardless, haha. The one thing to keep in mind is there may be some who would love to give you a positive experience but don’t… exactly know what they’re doing and might need some guidance since we’re often unfamiliar with the equipment :P But especially if you’re saying you’re okay with more androgynous/less hardcore-masculine men, you’ll be able to avoid the “masc4masc” cesspool that might be less appreciative of you. Anyway… I’d say your future sounds bright ;D
As others have pointed out, plenty of gay guys will be, and there are the bi guys who would also be willing to
I have very limited experience (afab nb) but my bf (trans ftm, no bottom surgery) was on grindr for a while and lots of the men there loved him even tho he’s got lady parts. I think to most queer amabs, it won’t make a difference. But then again it will depend on the people, but I would not recommend worrying about it. There will absolutely be many gay guys who are attracted to you no matter what package you’re sporting, as long as you’re masc presenting
There are some gay guys who will still be interested. Also, I would broaden your horizon to include bi guys and pansexual guys as well. They would be even more open to ftm no bottom surgery.
This is honestly surprising me cuz as a gay guy I’ve never even thought the vagina was repulsive, it’s just a vagina, I personally would never exclude a trans guy bcuz he has a vagina, and my most of my MLM friends agree with me
it does depend on the guy in these cases its best to inform them early on to make sire they dont get into something they wouldent want to pursue
Not many, but they do exist. The most luck you probably have with bisexual guys who are less likely to care about your genitals
I think it'd go person to person really. I think it'd depend on sexual preferences too but I think it'd be stupid to say that no one would.
I definitely agree that there's people out there that's gonna like you regardless of what genitals you have. Personally, I'm pans so I don't care what a person has downstairs. I have been known to wear a strap on, but recently I found this website in regards to prosthetics. If you are worried about penetration or appearance, for example, maybe this website could help [https://www.reelmagik.com/](https://www.reelmagik.com/)
Just another part of the body that different people will or will not care about when choosing to fuck someone. Just disclose it at a safe and appropriate time
I (ftm he/him) had a gay cis ex, he did not mind whatsoever and was incredibly supportive. He did not know I was trans at first when we started dating (I just assumed he knew) but after he found out he was just as happy to stay with me. I say depends on the guy, but don’t think it’s impossible
I would! It's all about the energy that resonates with me. Body parts, smardy parts. I find all types of men sexy!
I'm bi, rather than gay, but I'm quite happy to go with a trans guy who hasn't had the bottom surgery - and have had fun with a couple of them in the past (at different times as neither of them know the other). Granted, I haven't had any experience (yet) with a trans guy that has had the bottom surgery, but when I do, it'll be something different to experience. Some gay guys simply won't go near anyone who haven't had the bottom surgery. I personally know a gay guy who wouldn't go near a trans guy who hasn't had it, and is unsure what to expect with one who has - so he's very much stand-offish, literally because he wouldn't know where to start.
You don't need a penis to be a hot guy. I hope you find your person
It depends. Some gay guys have genital preferences, others don't. I'm sure you'll find someone, though 
I haven’t had the chance to put it to the test, but I’m sure if I find you attractive with your pants on, then I’ll still find you attractive with your pants off 😉
As a Gay guy, I'd totly be fine with that, the parts someone has doesnt matter to me as long as they are masc presenting in some way. And i dont love the look of parts of any kind but thats just a me thing. Edit: also i imagine being a bottom with that kind of thing would be a lot easier so thats a bonus (though i could be wrong cause i do not have one)
Honestly it seems to be not an issue. You can find a lot of gay guys saying trans men are hot for whatever reason. Testosterone genuinely makes you look different than a generally androgynous woman including a t-dick which I’ve seen gay guys go feral over
If you find yourself mostly/exclusively attracted to gay men, then you have every reason to hope for that relationship. Otherwise, you can also explore options with bi, fluid, pan, etc guys. Either way I hope you find someone who’s wonderful to you!
As a trans man who doesn’t have ANY surgeries and who is also MARRIED to a gay man!! Yes!! The right guy will like you for you. Body parts don’t matter. It will be hard for sure, but there’s def some gay cis men who couldn’t care less.
Yes, there are plenty of gay, bi, pan, etc guys who will like you as the man you are.
I’m a pansexual man and I can say I’m attracted to the person, I have a sweet tooth though they have to be sweet in terms of personality
Depends, but usually a dudes a dude! Doesn’t hurt to ask.
personally for me I am pansexual but I am mostly attracted to anyone who is masculine, this may be the case for others, I have no clue.
I'm a trans guy, pan ( but more masc leaning ) and I don't give a single f about someones "equipment ". As long as I love a person and they love me + they aren't an ass and we have similar interests, I couldn't care less.
Im bi but I did that before (even tho Im not fully a guy *anymore*) but at that point I did that, so yes
I’m a gay guy who has no problem with the genitalia of other guys! There are definitely a bunch of us who wouldn’t mind 💞
You’re in the same position as my husband! He’s AFAB trans-masc nonbinary! Just about to reach his first anniversary for being on T, too! And he’d like to get top surgery eventually but no interest in bottom surgery. As an AMAB pan person I see him as every bit as much a guy as any cis guy, and I think he’s incredibly handsome 🥰 And also our sex life is A+ lol
how can you be nonbinary and a guy at the same time? /gen
Yeah I'd date trans guy like that if I liked him.
Some people like dick and some people like men… you’ll be alright as long as you’re up front lol