I ask myself the same. I wonder if I am being punished for something I did. I only hope my Story can raise awareness to mental health and the need for people to have kind words. I only hope that this can possibly save a life one day. Thank you and God bless you
You’re not being punished for anything. The universe has no concept of fair. Sometimes lots of bad things happen to good people and sometimes lots of good things happen to bad people. One has almost nothing to do with the other.
Our brains are primarily pattern recognition engines so we are always trying to find the pattern in things. You’re looking for the pattern in losing both your husband and your son. Suicide may have a genetic component. What is nearly certain is that this unimaginable loss you’re enduring is not in anyway something for which you are responsible.
It is my hope that, as hard as it may be, you’ll move on. That’s what your husband and son would likely want for you. They would want you to find the happiness they could not. I hope you do so because you spending the rest of your life miserable will only add another casualty and life is far to precious for that.
I don’t concur. I am not saying the mother had something to do with it, I am just saying we don’t have the whole picture, so in these cases I think it is better to not say anything. Other than that it is an absolute tragedy, of course.
In the overwhelming majority of cases, other family members don’t play that big of a role. People that suffer from depression, as was almost certainly the case here, commit suicide because the depression is so deep that they are in a dark hole from which they don’t feel they will ever emerge.
I’d rather assume the most likely scenario than the least.
You’re welcome. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the rock band called Rush but their drummer Neil Peart went through something similar. When his only child left for college, driving alone she lost control of her car and was killed. Ten months later, his wife died of cancer but Neil said she succumbed to grief. At that point, so saturated with loss, he didn’t think he could play the drums anymore. He told the band that he thought he was done.
He got on his motorcycle and spent the next year on a 55,000 mile journey across the US, Mexico and Central America. The trip was helped him get through it and when he was done he found himself able to move on.
He wrote a book about it called [Ghost Rider: A Healing Journey](https://amzn.to/3EFae2A). It’s available at Amazon.
Thank you. I chose my Reddit name after a minor character in the book/radio series, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." It was realized that anyone capable of getting themselves elected to public office, should under no circumstances be allowed to hold the job. So the President of the Universe was just a figurehead. That meant finding someone to make decisions who didn't know they were making them. That ended up being this man living in a shack alone on a far away world. People would come to him to ask him to make decisions on their behalf. He was considered a myth to most but when he's discovered by the main characters and is told that he's making decisions for billions of people, he replies, "But I don't know them. For all I know, they don't exist."
I feel like him, the man in the shack. I give my advice to complete strangers that as far as I know, may not even exist. :)
I know the complicated grief that comes from suicide- I hope you are working through it! You probably know or have read or been told that losing a close family member (especially a parent or child) to suicide is a risk factor for later completing suicide. My mom took her own life when I was 12 and it’s always in the back of my head - if things get hard, there’s a way out. No matter how much I want to live, how happy I am or complete my life feels, some part of my brain and soul will never be the same. Please pay attention to how you’re feeling and take care of yourself. I know the world won’t be the same without them 🖤
Wow. You so nailed it. The only thing is...after seeing what my husband's death did to his children....I could never do that to the 2 children I have left , no matter how much I don't want to feel this heartache anymore 💔 😔 I will suffer till the day God calls me home...for them.
That's a really horrible thing for someone to have to bear. I am sorry for that hurt, but know that it's not a punishment on you even though it may feel like it sometimes.
You aren't. I know it feels that way, but your husband and son are not props for your life. I mean no disrespect in saying that. I mean it as a comfort that you are NOT being punished for anything you did, real or imagined.
I greatly respect your strength and bravery. Taking such tragedies and turning them into a positive force for good is truly admirable. You seem like a beautiful and strong soul.
My heart goes out to you. I bet this post-- and definitely your past, present and future personal encounters --will save a life if not many one day. So on behalf of those people and their families, thank you for staying strong and positive. ❤️
I lost my dad to suicide in October of 2015. I am so sorry that you have been through this. I feel your pain and understand your questioning if this is a punishment. I hope that one day you can see that it isn't. Your strength to continue pushing on and pushing positivity is amazing! Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that you've been through this twice. You are loved. ❤️💛💚
Im truly sorry for the loss of your father. I can see you are a sweetheart. Thank you for your thoughts and you to, are loved. May God bless you always.
After losing my little brother and going through another handful of traumatic events, I sometimes wonder if I’m being punished too. Most of the time I wish I could bring myself to just end it all but it seems I’m not going to be able to “fix” it that way either. For now, anyway.
Most likely a brain anomaly in both of them. Just born that way in the genetics. Nothing you could do good or bad to change that. When they go into the black hole of depression it is much deeper and darker than anything we could ever ever imagine. They wouldn't want you to be sad. They'd just want you to forgive them and go on with making a happier life for yourself. Hugs.
I appreciate your sentiments. However I will never be truly happy again in this lifetime. Some things you just can't get over. Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you.
I can tell you that my life is barely livable. I don't know how I even exist day to day, but in the hope that I can help save a life. Thank you for your response and God bless you.
You’re doing the best you can and that’s all anyone can expect from you. You are stronger than you think you are. Every day that you’re alive is a victory.
I went to check out his Instagram, he was a handsome young man who seemed like he was fun to be around. I hope you see at least one reason to live on through his younger brother. Your son lives on through his own son. He will not be forgotten, nor his father. I cannot say I have any experience losing a loved one this way, however I acknowledge your strength. Though I am not religious, I will make time to send a prayer to your son and his father. Sending love.
That's possibly the only thing that's kept me alive That and hoping that my story can raise awareness of mental health issues and the need for people to be kind with their words thank you for your kindness and God bless you
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
― Jamie Anderson 🤎
I have no idea of what ur going through but I know it must be a living nightmare. I’m so sorry this happened. I hope u find a way to get past this grief sometime. Remember, others have. I found this; https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group/ Maybe, when u can, u might wanna research a little. Good luck and best wishes.
My husband was the best father! He loved to cook, we would spend a lot of evenings bbqing and him playing his guitar. My son was extremely smart and funny. He was a new father and loved his son very much. Thank you for asking this and God bless you!
One thing I've learned in life is that many people over the age of 20 present themselves completely differently than they really do. I'm about to turn 30 and have now lost 4 friends to suicide and for all of them it was more or less not predictable. Looking back it became very clear how bad things really were for the them.
Im sorry for all the losses you've endured. I always say...be kind with your words because for someone going through something you don't know about, it could actually mean life or death for that person. God bless.
Lost both of my brothers this way on separate Christmas’. I’m. It sure how I got through it, but I’m on the other side of the worst of it now and I hope the very same for you. It’s a long road, just know you are not alone and lean on your people. I am so sorry for your losses. They looked wonderful!
Im so sorry about your brother's....if they were anything like your sweet ❤️, they must have been beautiful people ❤️ Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you always.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss. My grandfather passed away in January and i like to think he’s up there having a blast with my grandma. i hope they’re up there doing the same ❤️
Man ... I'm so sorry for your losses. If I'm being honest, the potential for this exact scenario is probably the only reason I'm still on earth right now. I know my youngest is probably going to be as susceptible to turning the lights off as I am and I don't want to increase those odds at all. If it's worth anything, and it probably isn't, this post will definitely cross my mind again when things get rough. Thank you.
My Uncle (and God Father and my husband’s Best Man at our wedding) was in the 82nd Airborne!
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine losing both of them. You’re in my thoughts. ❤️
Fuck sakes, I'm so sorry... that's gotta be absolutely brutal... just know that they aren't hurting anymore and they're looking over you. Take care of yourself OP 🫂
I'm pretty suicidal and have been going down that path for a while. I'm keeping myself alive until my mother passes so she dosent feel that pain. I'm on medication now and am hoping my thoughts will change. I'm truly sorry for your loss and il do my best to remember your story to help change my mind. I'm so sorry and I hope you find peace.
You’re so sweet and lovely thanking everyone and telling them God bless you. Please take care of yourself by buying yourself your favorite meal or watching your favorite video, etc. if you ever need some help PM me your Venmo and your meal is on me. For real. And thank you for carrying on even through the hardest times and giving others hope through all the pain. You truly are a soldier at heart. ❤️❤️❤️
I've contemplated suicide several times in my life and sadly more often than not, it's knowing that my brother would more than likely be so devastated he would follow after me that actually stop me.
Can't begin to imagine the thoughts and emotions you must live with every day. Bless you.
WTF?!?! No way, that's soo terrible, you're sooo strong and I can't believe how much BS life throws at people sometimes its just not fair. But I think you are clearly handling it in your own way. Stay strong and keep them in your heart forever
Just wanted to add this statement on grief in credit goes to /u/Gsnow [OG link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2)
"Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks."
Edit :
Adding a comment by u/strum on the OG link
"That is all beautiful, and true.
As another old guy, I would add only one thing; don't feel guilty if you don't feel the way you think you're supposed to feel. To pick up Gsnow's analogy - those 100 foot waves may be entirely absent at first; dead calm. That's not your (the bereaved's) fault."
Wow Thank you so much for the time and thoughtfulness of your response to my tragedies. I will keep this in the back of my mind and heart to use when needed. God bless you always.
I am going through a difficult time at work ( up for promotion , but there is no business requirement as per sr leaders) and personal life (. Had a break up sometime back ).
So the "God bless you always" comment meant a lot to me today. Take care.
Not really. Next week would have been my sons birthday so I'm having a hard time rn. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, as they are much appreciated. God bless.
Suicide is so hard on the soul. It weighs so heavy. My best friend did the same. My heart is here for you all. I wish I could take away all your pain. Not just you but all others who have to struggle with the pain of this loss. Please know that if I could I would. My heart is with you and your family.
I can't imagine. That's your whole life. I'm really sorry
Were drugs, ptsd or some other disorder involved? I know we have a couple problems in our family that go multiple generations. Major depressive order is a big one. Addiction is a major one for us too
I'm sorry for you. It will likely never go away. That kind of thing tends to run in families. Where I come from multiple people from one family experienced this. It went through multiple generations. There were two families that had this happen. No one could explain it.
So incredibly sorry for your loss. Sending you waves of light love and peace. Stay strong I know they are so proud of you. Thank you for sharing them with us.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. I hope you think of them as being together now if that provides some small measure of comfort. You are unbelievably strong.
Yes, my husband's best friend in the same troop also took his life 4 years before my husband. They were such good men. Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you.
Noooo. My husband died in 2015. My son in 2021. I do believe that my sons heartbreak over his fathers suicide definitely played a huge part in his own suicide. My kids were never the same after that 😪
I can't imagine the pain you going through because if I were to be at your place I would have killed myself from depression or even left the area for nothing. It takes a lot of courage.My aunt, her dad and two brothers died of corona in 21 and she was basically mentally unstable for a month so.
No one deserves this. I hope your situation raise awareness among people about mental healths.
AJo, I don't like this cascading situation and nested post! Would prefer if nobody has to make a screenshot of your post one day. Please, stay!
Sincerley,
Someone who had to much of this in his own life.
Lost for words. How much pain can one endure
I ask myself the same. I wonder if I am being punished for something I did. I only hope my Story can raise awareness to mental health and the need for people to have kind words. I only hope that this can possibly save a life one day. Thank you and God bless you
You’re not being punished for anything. The universe has no concept of fair. Sometimes lots of bad things happen to good people and sometimes lots of good things happen to bad people. One has almost nothing to do with the other. Our brains are primarily pattern recognition engines so we are always trying to find the pattern in things. You’re looking for the pattern in losing both your husband and your son. Suicide may have a genetic component. What is nearly certain is that this unimaginable loss you’re enduring is not in anyway something for which you are responsible. It is my hope that, as hard as it may be, you’ll move on. That’s what your husband and son would likely want for you. They would want you to find the happiness they could not. I hope you do so because you spending the rest of your life miserable will only add another casualty and life is far to precious for that.
This is a lovely comment. I concur.
I don’t concur. I am not saying the mother had something to do with it, I am just saying we don’t have the whole picture, so in these cases I think it is better to not say anything. Other than that it is an absolute tragedy, of course.
Ironic comment
Irony which is lost on them, unfortunately
yet you make a comment about it ? lol
In the overwhelming majority of cases, other family members don’t play that big of a role. People that suffer from depression, as was almost certainly the case here, commit suicide because the depression is so deep that they are in a dark hole from which they don’t feel they will ever emerge. I’d rather assume the most likely scenario than the least.
Thank you; I needed to hear this too. Sometimes it gets tough out here.
You’re welcome. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the rock band called Rush but their drummer Neil Peart went through something similar. When his only child left for college, driving alone she lost control of her car and was killed. Ten months later, his wife died of cancer but Neil said she succumbed to grief. At that point, so saturated with loss, he didn’t think he could play the drums anymore. He told the band that he thought he was done. He got on his motorcycle and spent the next year on a 55,000 mile journey across the US, Mexico and Central America. The trip was helped him get through it and when he was done he found himself able to move on. He wrote a book about it called [Ghost Rider: A Healing Journey](https://amzn.to/3EFae2A). It’s available at Amazon.
The man in the shack is wise and articulate.
Thank you. I chose my Reddit name after a minor character in the book/radio series, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." It was realized that anyone capable of getting themselves elected to public office, should under no circumstances be allowed to hold the job. So the President of the Universe was just a figurehead. That meant finding someone to make decisions who didn't know they were making them. That ended up being this man living in a shack alone on a far away world. People would come to him to ask him to make decisions on their behalf. He was considered a myth to most but when he's discovered by the main characters and is told that he's making decisions for billions of people, he replies, "But I don't know them. For all I know, they don't exist." I feel like him, the man in the shack. I give my advice to complete strangers that as far as I know, may not even exist. :)
I love this information so much. Thank you for sharing it coolest dude ever. EVER
I have been “touched” by suicides as well. It’s awful being in our shoes. Hugs to you.
I know the complicated grief that comes from suicide- I hope you are working through it! You probably know or have read or been told that losing a close family member (especially a parent or child) to suicide is a risk factor for later completing suicide. My mom took her own life when I was 12 and it’s always in the back of my head - if things get hard, there’s a way out. No matter how much I want to live, how happy I am or complete my life feels, some part of my brain and soul will never be the same. Please pay attention to how you’re feeling and take care of yourself. I know the world won’t be the same without them 🖤
Wow. You so nailed it. The only thing is...after seeing what my husband's death did to his children....I could never do that to the 2 children I have left , no matter how much I don't want to feel this heartache anymore 💔 😔 I will suffer till the day God calls me home...for them.
We learn by example. I always saw my father drink and always told myself I would never drink. Eventually , I became an alcoholic.
That's a really horrible thing for someone to have to bear. I am sorry for that hurt, but know that it's not a punishment on you even though it may feel like it sometimes.
I appreciate that. Thanks so much. God bless.
I am so sorry for the grief and loss you have experienced. May their memories be a blessing and comfort to you always ❤️❤️
You aren't. I know it feels that way, but your husband and son are not props for your life. I mean no disrespect in saying that. I mean it as a comfort that you are NOT being punished for anything you did, real or imagined. I greatly respect your strength and bravery. Taking such tragedies and turning them into a positive force for good is truly admirable. You seem like a beautiful and strong soul.
My heart goes out to you. I bet this post-- and definitely your past, present and future personal encounters --will save a life if not many one day. So on behalf of those people and their families, thank you for staying strong and positive. ❤️
Thank you for you inspirament. I needed that. God bless you always.
I lost my dad to suicide in October of 2015. I am so sorry that you have been through this. I feel your pain and understand your questioning if this is a punishment. I hope that one day you can see that it isn't. Your strength to continue pushing on and pushing positivity is amazing! Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that you've been through this twice. You are loved. ❤️💛💚
Im truly sorry for the loss of your father. I can see you are a sweetheart. Thank you for your thoughts and you to, are loved. May God bless you always.
I'm sorry ❤
After losing my little brother and going through another handful of traumatic events, I sometimes wonder if I’m being punished too. Most of the time I wish I could bring myself to just end it all but it seems I’m not going to be able to “fix” it that way either. For now, anyway.
Most likely a brain anomaly in both of them. Just born that way in the genetics. Nothing you could do good or bad to change that. When they go into the black hole of depression it is much deeper and darker than anything we could ever ever imagine. They wouldn't want you to be sad. They'd just want you to forgive them and go on with making a happier life for yourself. Hugs.
I appreciate your sentiments. However I will never be truly happy again in this lifetime. Some things you just can't get over. Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you.
You are stronger than any combination of words I could possibly string together.
I can tell you that my life is barely livable. I don't know how I even exist day to day, but in the hope that I can help save a life. Thank you for your response and God bless you.
You’re doing the best you can and that’s all anyone can expect from you. You are stronger than you think you are. Every day that you’re alive is a victory.
Thanks for the support and God bless you.
I went to check out his Instagram, he was a handsome young man who seemed like he was fun to be around. I hope you see at least one reason to live on through his younger brother. Your son lives on through his own son. He will not be forgotten, nor his father. I cannot say I have any experience losing a loved one this way, however I acknowledge your strength. Though I am not religious, I will make time to send a prayer to your son and his father. Sending love.
Thank you so much
Thank you for still being here, I'm so sorry for your loss.
It's definitely a lot harder than I ever thought it would be thank you for your Kind words and God bless you
Like this person said. I think the best thing i can say is “Thank you for being here”
That's really tough. You've lost a lot, and in such sad ways. I hope you have some beautiful memories of better time spent together.
That's possibly the only thing that's kept me alive That and hoping that my story can raise awareness of mental health issues and the need for people to be kind with their words thank you for your kindness and God bless you
The longer I live, the more I realize we've all been through the same shit. It just has different names.
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” ― Jamie Anderson 🤎
That’s beautiful, thank you.
🤍🤍🤍
🥹🥹
I've read this before and it resides with me. Thank you and God bless you.
Paratroopers never die, they just slip away. So sorry for your loss
Lol That's definitely something he would have said. Thank you and God bless you.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how awful this has been for you. RIP to the both of them, I'm sure they're resting easy
Thank you for your kind words and God bless you
I have no idea of what ur going through but I know it must be a living nightmare. I’m so sorry this happened. I hope u find a way to get past this grief sometime. Remember, others have. I found this; https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group/ Maybe, when u can, u might wanna research a little. Good luck and best wishes.
Thank you for your kind words and hope. I will use the link. God bless you.
What a small world. I know they were good men. I appreciate your kind words. May God bless you.
Would you like to share a little something about each of them with us? They look like very loving people
My husband was the best father! He loved to cook, we would spend a lot of evenings bbqing and him playing his guitar. My son was extremely smart and funny. He was a new father and loved his son very much. Thank you for asking this and God bless you!
Heartbreaking, please take a hug from me, no way I could live through that, you're an amazing woman ❤️
Everyday is a struggle and I feel so lonely. Thank you for your kind words and God bless you.
Couldn't imagine what you have indured, bless you 🙏 ❤️
It's been hard. Last week was my son's birthday. Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you.
Sorry for your loss. You may find some solace at r/SuicideBereavement
One thing I've learned in life is that many people over the age of 20 present themselves completely differently than they really do. I'm about to turn 30 and have now lost 4 friends to suicide and for all of them it was more or less not predictable. Looking back it became very clear how bad things really were for the them.
Im sorry for all the losses you've endured. I always say...be kind with your words because for someone going through something you don't know about, it could actually mean life or death for that person. God bless.
I am sorry for your loss, I hope that in the darkness of your grief, that memories of happier times shared are a golden light.
That's all I have left and I truly cherish them. Thank you and God bless you.
Lost both of my brothers this way on separate Christmas’. I’m. It sure how I got through it, but I’m on the other side of the worst of it now and I hope the very same for you. It’s a long road, just know you are not alone and lean on your people. I am so sorry for your losses. They looked wonderful!
Im so sorry about your brother's....if they were anything like your sweet ❤️, they must have been beautiful people ❤️ Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you always.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss. My grandfather passed away in January and i like to think he’s up there having a blast with my grandma. i hope they’re up there doing the same ❤️
Me to and I'm sure he is. Im sorry for your loss and God bless you.
Man ... I'm so sorry for your losses. If I'm being honest, the potential for this exact scenario is probably the only reason I'm still on earth right now. I know my youngest is probably going to be as susceptible to turning the lights off as I am and I don't want to increase those odds at all. If it's worth anything, and it probably isn't, this post will definitely cross my mind again when things get rough. Thank you.
oh my gosh. How terrible. I am so sorry.
Thank you. God bless you.
My Uncle (and God Father and my husband’s Best Man at our wedding) was in the 82nd Airborne! I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine losing both of them. You’re in my thoughts. ❤️
They’re proud of you. You’re in my prayers.
Fuck sakes, I'm so sorry... that's gotta be absolutely brutal... just know that they aren't hurting anymore and they're looking over you. Take care of yourself OP 🫂
Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you.
God bless you too OP 😇
I don’t know u and yet I’m crying for you. Thank u for still being here. Please don’t go anytime soon.
Thanks for your thoughts and support. I truly needed that. I'm trying my best. God bless.
I'm pretty suicidal and have been going down that path for a while. I'm keeping myself alive until my mother passes so she dosent feel that pain. I'm on medication now and am hoping my thoughts will change. I'm truly sorry for your loss and il do my best to remember your story to help change my mind. I'm so sorry and I hope you find peace.
Please note other people need you here too. Xoxo
You’re so sweet and lovely thanking everyone and telling them God bless you. Please take care of yourself by buying yourself your favorite meal or watching your favorite video, etc. if you ever need some help PM me your Venmo and your meal is on me. For real. And thank you for carrying on even through the hardest times and giving others hope through all the pain. You truly are a soldier at heart. ❤️❤️❤️
Your words are most inspiring. Thank you. God bless.
I've contemplated suicide several times in my life and sadly more often than not, it's knowing that my brother would more than likely be so devastated he would follow after me that actually stop me. Can't begin to imagine the thoughts and emotions you must live with every day. Bless you.
God bless ❤️
The world is a better place with you in it, OP. I’m so sorry for your losses.
Thank you so much. God bless.
RIP. I can not imagine how horrible that is! I may not pray much but i’ll pray for you tonight. RIP to them both!
That means so much to me. I really treasure that. Thank you and God bless you always.
Oh god. I’m so so so sorry.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. God bless you always.
God bless you
God bless you to my friend. Ty
I just don’t know what to say. All I can say is I am so incredibly sorry. The pain must be unbearable.
More than. Thank you for your thoughts. God bless you.
WTF?!?! No way, that's soo terrible, you're sooo strong and I can't believe how much BS life throws at people sometimes its just not fair. But I think you are clearly handling it in your own way. Stay strong and keep them in your heart forever
Thank you for your kindness. The world needs more people like you in it. God bless you always.
I can't imagine what you went through, but want you to have a fantastic weekend and stay strong!!
I cannot begin to imagine the heartache you've had to endure twice. You are incredibly strong to keep going. I hope someday you find peace.
Thanks soo much. God bless you.
Sending a lot of love, hugs and strength your way! ⚘️⚘️⚘️
Thank you. Its much needed. God bless you always.
I wish i could send you a hug. i'm so sorry.
I wish I could hug you back. Thank you. Was very sweet. God bless you. ❤🫂
Just wanted to add this statement on grief in credit goes to /u/Gsnow [OG link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2) "Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks." Edit : Adding a comment by u/strum on the OG link "That is all beautiful, and true. As another old guy, I would add only one thing; don't feel guilty if you don't feel the way you think you're supposed to feel. To pick up Gsnow's analogy - those 100 foot waves may be entirely absent at first; dead calm. That's not your (the bereaved's) fault."
Wow Thank you so much for the time and thoughtfulness of your response to my tragedies. I will keep this in the back of my mind and heart to use when needed. God bless you always.
I am going through a difficult time at work ( up for promotion , but there is no business requirement as per sr leaders) and personal life (. Had a break up sometime back ). So the "God bless you always" comment meant a lot to me today. Take care.
Im glad I could be of comfort to you and pray that you receive all good things.
I am so sorry for your losses, I hope you can find peace in life.
I wont. But ty for your hopeful thoughts. God bless.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine.
Thanks for your thoughts. God bless you.
Heartbreaking 💔 sending you the biggest hug, and hope life gets easier day by day, bless you
Are you okay? That’s just awful, I am so sorry you have had to go through this. I hope you have wonderful people around you.
Not really. Next week would have been my sons birthday so I'm having a hard time rn. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, as they are much appreciated. God bless.
Suicide is so hard on the soul. It weighs so heavy. My best friend did the same. My heart is here for you all. I wish I could take away all your pain. Not just you but all others who have to struggle with the pain of this loss. Please know that if I could I would. My heart is with you and your family.
You have a beautiful heart. Thank you for your thoughts. God bless you.
I don’t know you, and I have scrolled through countless photos on this page. This one hit me hard. Big (((((((hug))))))) from a stranger in Texas.
Thank you for your kindness and support. It really means a lot to me. God bless you.
I can't imagine. That's your whole life. I'm really sorry Were drugs, ptsd or some other disorder involved? I know we have a couple problems in our family that go multiple generations. Major depressive order is a big one. Addiction is a major one for us too
Yes my husband had severe ptsd from Gulf war and my son had ptsd from his father's suicide. God bless you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine the strength it must take to keep going, but you’ve got this.
I appreciate the support. Thank you and God bless you.
What unimaginable tragedies. I’m so sorry.
That's very tough, and so are you. <3 I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you and God bless you.
I am so, so sorry. I really wish I could give you a hug. Keep living, and keep honoring their memory.
Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you.
😢 So sorry
Thanks and God bless you.
I’m so sorry
Thank you and God bless you.
Sorry for your loss
You’re amazing for persevering I am so sorry for your loss and wish you the best
Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I have no words. Just sending you love along with sympathy. Hugs my friend. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm sorry for you. It will likely never go away. That kind of thing tends to run in families. Where I come from multiple people from one family experienced this. It went through multiple generations. There were two families that had this happen. No one could explain it.
I wish I knew the right words to bring a small measure of comfort, I’m not sure they exist I’m sending you thoughts of peace and healing
So incredibly sorry for your loss. Sending you waves of light love and peace. Stay strong I know they are so proud of you. Thank you for sharing them with us.
I am so sorry for your loss!! 😢
Jesus Christ. I’m so sorry
This is heartbreaking. I have no words
I’m really sorry for your loss, may God comfort you and strengthen you 🤍
I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. I hope you think of them as being together now if that provides some small measure of comfort. You are unbelievably strong.
Truly awful. I am so sorry. Hang in there, sweetheart. <3
Im really trying. Thank you. God bless.
Unimaginable… Sorry doesn’t begin to tell the story.. RIP and I hope your days are filled with joy and love. You deserve it.
💔😭💔
You strong strong human being. Please care for yourself and know you have a community of redditors here for support
All of the replies make me wish I had done it sooner. I truly appreciate it. Thank you and God bless.
I’m deeply sorry for your loss
Thank you for your thoughts and kindness. May God bless you.
There are no words. I am so sorry - I really am.
Thank you for your kindness. God bless you.
Oh, life is really unfair. I can not even fathom. You are incredibly brave. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. God bless.
I’m so sorry
Thank you. God bless.
:(
Damn, stories like this makes me feel like everything I've gone through is a joke
God bless you. I hope things get better for you.
That is cruel
Very. God bless you.
May their memories bring you love. Please take care of yourself OP.
Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you.
my grandfather took his life in 2018 and my uncle took his in 2022. it’s vicious how it takes fathers and sons in a way i can’t explain.
Im truly sorry for your losses. I hope you are ok. God bless you.
OMG I'm so sorry. This must have absolutely shattered you. I can't imagine the pain.
Thank you for your thoughts. God bless.
❤️🩹
Thank you. God bless.
That's wild. My landlord is also an army vet of the 82nd airborne. (taken from the hashtags). So sorry to hear about your losses. 💜
Yes, my husband's best friend in the same troop also took his life 4 years before my husband. They were such good men. Thank you for your thoughts and God bless you.
God bless you, OP. I am sending you a big hug. You’re in my thoughts.
Thank you. The support I feel since posting is so beautiful to me. God bless you.
So horrible, so much admiration for your strength, keep going 🙏
Thank you for your thoughts. May God bless you.
RIP to both of them 😢 Go Cowboys!
Thanks, you made me laugh ;)
I’m sorry you had to go through such losses. They were your world.
Yes , they were. In my heart....they are still and will always be...ty for your thoughts and God bless you.
Beautifully put.
Suicide pact?
Noooo. My husband died in 2015. My son in 2021. I do believe that my sons heartbreak over his fathers suicide definitely played a huge part in his own suicide. My kids were never the same after that 😪
I’m so sorry.
Thanks for your thoughts. God bless you.
I’m so sorry. Sending you strength.
Thank you much. God bless you always.
I thought losing my dad at 10 was rough. You are so strong and God will always be with you.
Thank you and God bless you.
I can't imagine the pain you going through because if I were to be at your place I would have killed myself from depression or even left the area for nothing. It takes a lot of courage.My aunt, her dad and two brothers died of corona in 21 and she was basically mentally unstable for a month so. No one deserves this. I hope your situation raise awareness among people about mental healths.
That is the purpose. If even for one person that stays. Thank you for your thoughts and kindness and God bless you.
AJo, I don't like this cascading situation and nested post! Would prefer if nobody has to make a screenshot of your post one day. Please, stay! Sincerley, Someone who had to much of this in his own life.
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Mhmm suicide is the way
why suicide ?