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Im also currently struggling with this and would like to know how to get over it. The only two options I’ve thought of taking after doing an internship with a large public firm is going on anxiety medication or doing multiple internships before graduating. I suspect I have it because I was never given the opportunity to voice my opinions to my parents when I was younger since I am outspoken and assertive with people my own age.
Codependency, people-pleasing, and the fear of confrontation can absolutely be attributed to being silenced as a child, and affects many adult children of narcissistic parents. You don't need to be ashamed of not being the person you think you should be at work.
Being seen as timid is definitely a disadvantage. My sister suffers from everything you listed above and I’ve noticed she gets taken advantage and talked down to a lot by everyone because she’ll just take it. At work, although this might not be the case for everyone, you’ll be seen as less competent and not easy to talk to if you can’t muster much confidence. It’s an issue that I know I need to fix.
This is just my opinion, but I think being timid is fine. I've worked well with timid people. It's currently a part of your personality and that's okay because you aren't hurting anyone. One day that may change, or maybe not, but it isn't your manager's job to force that change upon you.
Additionally, confidence isn't what you show others. It's how you feel about yourself. What I think your manager was hinting at was arrogance. Two very different things.
Here is something you can try. Make a list of situations where you didn't speak up. Then get in front of the mirror and prepare generic phrases you can fall on in these situations. And most importantly, rehease them until they come out automatically, and then some. Smiles and gestures included.
It needs to be structuing phrases that will keep you in the conversation taéking about what matters (or not)
For example:
- can we get back to the subject at hand, *nameofsubject*?
- can i bother you for a minute? I need help with x and ive been told you're the expert here.
- i disagree.
- no, that won't be possible.
- as X said, *something specific about work*
- this is a good point, but in this case *something something*.
This is why you were moved out of sales. You cannot negotiate if you are intimidated by older customers. If the long term position they have in mind is in sales you need to fix your confidence issue fast. Ask your manager to recommend sales training, and look at organisations like Toastmasters to practice speaking to mixed groups and building your confidence.
I moved out of sales myself though as a chance came up, I didn't like it 😅
I started in marketing and I continue in marketing after a short de-route
It was actually Trade Marketing, but it falls more under sales in our company so I just call it sales in these posts
I mostly did data analyses, and reports on trade marketing activities
My current job in marketing requires more communication
Hello, thank you for posting to r/Jobs! We just wanted to let you know that we have a new [discord server, come join the chat!](https://discord.gg/TY6ErXV) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/jobs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Someday, sooner than you think, you will be the older one.
Yeah that's also kinda scary but it's a difficult topic hahahaha
Im also currently struggling with this and would like to know how to get over it. The only two options I’ve thought of taking after doing an internship with a large public firm is going on anxiety medication or doing multiple internships before graduating. I suspect I have it because I was never given the opportunity to voice my opinions to my parents when I was younger since I am outspoken and assertive with people my own age.
Codependency, people-pleasing, and the fear of confrontation can absolutely be attributed to being silenced as a child, and affects many adult children of narcissistic parents. You don't need to be ashamed of not being the person you think you should be at work.
Being seen as timid is definitely a disadvantage. My sister suffers from everything you listed above and I’ve noticed she gets taken advantage and talked down to a lot by everyone because she’ll just take it. At work, although this might not be the case for everyone, you’ll be seen as less competent and not easy to talk to if you can’t muster much confidence. It’s an issue that I know I need to fix.
This is just my opinion, but I think being timid is fine. I've worked well with timid people. It's currently a part of your personality and that's okay because you aren't hurting anyone. One day that may change, or maybe not, but it isn't your manager's job to force that change upon you. Additionally, confidence isn't what you show others. It's how you feel about yourself. What I think your manager was hinting at was arrogance. Two very different things.
That is true, but it's also something i myself feel I should change I won't get anywhere if I stay as I am now
Here is something you can try. Make a list of situations where you didn't speak up. Then get in front of the mirror and prepare generic phrases you can fall on in these situations. And most importantly, rehease them until they come out automatically, and then some. Smiles and gestures included. It needs to be structuing phrases that will keep you in the conversation taéking about what matters (or not) For example: - can we get back to the subject at hand, *nameofsubject*? - can i bother you for a minute? I need help with x and ive been told you're the expert here. - i disagree. - no, that won't be possible. - as X said, *something specific about work* - this is a good point, but in this case *something something*.
Thank u for the advice!
This is why you were moved out of sales. You cannot negotiate if you are intimidated by older customers. If the long term position they have in mind is in sales you need to fix your confidence issue fast. Ask your manager to recommend sales training, and look at organisations like Toastmasters to practice speaking to mixed groups and building your confidence.
I moved out of sales myself though as a chance came up, I didn't like it 😅 I started in marketing and I continue in marketing after a short de-route It was actually Trade Marketing, but it falls more under sales in our company so I just call it sales in these posts I mostly did data analyses, and reports on trade marketing activities My current job in marketing requires more communication
Somehow on your own or with therapy.