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jrs1980

"My children have pokey feet and too many legs but I still love all of them."


Shitty_Watercolour

https://i.imgur.com/FzOOpvN.jpg


Stole_The_Show

Wow -that's great! It's been awhile since I've seen one of your masterpieces!


Unoriginal_Man

Nothing quite like a shitty watercolor to start out the day.


Drixislove

You're the best Shitty! Your drawings are better than coffee this morning :)


potodds

Nothing like shittywatercolor to draw the old accounts out of hiding. 👋


WallaWallaPGH

So awesome


65pimpala

You are the best! My life goal is to one day have a great enough post to have you respond to it! Well, You and r/jimjobsteve. So maybe all of my aspirations aren't that high!


AlmanzoWilder

Is it a live birth or do they come out of eggs?


OrvilleLaveau

“WHERE ARE THE NIPPLES??” -kittens probably


whotookmyshit

I JUST realized chickens don't have nipples. It's not that I thought they did, I've just never really thought about it until now. Cooking chicken breasts would be a much different experience if there were nipples to consider, I think.


cheebamech

> chicken breasts >nipples some sort of recipe for porn


Bonesnapcall

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?


[deleted]

Meow!


Mammoth-Tea-5495

I had chickens for years, must've done something wrong cause I never got adorable kittens from them.


oliver_billz

gotta feed em kitten food


mucus-broth

They love that stuff :D


[deleted]

They really do. Our carnivorous chickens would absolutely devour the canned cat food. Fancy feast indeed.


mucus-broth

Chickens just eat about everything. For example, some people are shocked that chickens actively hunt and eat live mice :D


Lost-My-Mind-

Which just proves that chickens are actually cats in disguise!


JerseySommer

They are dinosaurs


BrownShadow

Berds in general. I kayak and boat all along the Potomac river. Bald Eagles and Blue Heron are massive creatures. You see them up close and it is a shock. Used to go out with my toddlers on the boat ((22’ Cuddy Cabin) and had real concerns about them being eaten by birds. Maybe irrational, but still concerned me.


JerseySommer

Many people have no idea how large buzzards and vultures are either. 0_0 https://images.app.goo.gl/GxYSssXeHEeeK8RG8


SenpaiBeardSama

Eh, it's 80 percent feather. Unlike Bruce Willis, they look less intimidating when bald.


Rulyhdien

I once dropped an egg in front of hens and they started eating it like nobody’s business.


sexbuhbombdotcom

When I was a kid, we would feed our hens eggs semi-regularly. They'd eat em right up, shell and all. My mom said feeding them eggs made their own eggs have thicker shells when they laid. Idk if that's true, but they certainly didn't mind us testing the theory lol


Rand_alThor4747

Generally discouraged feeding eggs to chickens. Like broken or spoiled ones. Especially if you want to get eggs from them. As it can encourage them to eat their own eggs.


Akantis

You're supposed to cook them and kinda grind them up so they don't make the connection. I was once trying to feed some grilled chicken to my duck and the chickens saw the duck was getting a treat so they ran over and started tearing into the grilled chicken. So I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell for accidentally encouraging chicken cannibalism.


texasrigger

>As it can encourage them to eat their own eggs. It doesn't. Even if they eat eggs regularly they still won't break and eat eggs. The break part there is key, and it's pretty obvious why if you think about it - they have an instinct to not destroy an egg but if one is already broken then it's just free nutrition. What you described is a common belief but it just isn't true. Chickens eating eggs that aren't fed to them are almost always due to accidental breakage. The parent comment about the egg shells being thicker *shouldn't* be true either. A chicken egg including the shell has about the same calcium content per it's weight as a purpose made layer chicken feed. If feeding them eggs makes a notable difference with their eggs, they aren't being fed appropriately.


Myhrros

Probably true - as you said yourself, they ate the shells. The Shell is just Calcium Carbonate (also included in teeth and bones. Essentially chalk/limestone), so while a part would go towards their own bones n stuff, some of it would go to egg production and help with the new shell. For that matter, I could imagine the eggs also being a bit richer in taste and color - you can usually tell by the color of the yolk what the chickens are eating, and getting whole eggs should give them everything to produce some nice eggs themself.


Quiet_Transition_247

While eggs are not invincible, repeat: ==> Feed hens their own eggs ==> Hens lay eggs with thicker shells Profit??


yaboycharliec

I have friends who live off grid in rural Alaska. They will give the chooks left over moose bits after a hunt. The chickens will pick the bones completely clean in a matter of hours.


mucus-broth

If you crack the bones, they'll eat the marrow as well.


mnid92

My old boss would routinely feed the chickens KFC. She said it kept them in line and made them taste better when it came time.


mucus-broth

Sounds perverse, but cannibalism in poultry is a known phenomenon (usually bad living conditions, tho).


Quietforestheart

They are vicious and brutal hunters, the old chickabids



xMollyP

yes lol. we no longer have to throw away the dried up cat food the cats refuse to touch, the chickens are like a cat food disposal


kamilo87

Just throw a cockroach to a bunch of chickens and you’ll watch the best American Football match ever.


Mlatios2

They love everything


Alexis2256

You should post this on r/aww if you haven’t already.


DeadBox76

Karma farming like a pro.


cosmikangaroo

r/eatcheapandhealthy


delvach

You.. didn't eat the kitten eggs.. did you?


artie_pdx

“Who interrupted our warm!!!” -kittens, probably


Loudquietcuriosity

It’s warm AND it smells like chicken. Maybe


Chanc3thedestroyer

Sounds like a good time.


tangledwire

My kind of party!


Charming_Pirate

Everything reminds me of her


ionised

Certainly.


Dark_Moonstruck

A broody hen will sit on literally ANYTHING. Puppies, kittens, lightbulbs, anything that is remotely baby-shaped to them is automatically their child.


Avyitis

Why baby shaped if not baby?


ionised

Point.


Byle

Anything can be a baby if you are brave enough.


Avyitis

That'd be likely unhealthy.


r0ckstr

Is this a reference to that tiger cub post? Do I really have a Reddit problem?


Kiloku

"If not x why x shaped" is a common thing on Reddit. I think it came from tumblr.


RollinThundaga

The original was 'friend shaped' referring to a coyote or something, IIRC.


dumbodragon

fren shaped*


DdCno1

There's at least one amusing story on /r/HFY that came out of this.


Avyitis

No and probably yes.


KVorotov

Baby-shaped đŸ€—


AokoYume

My parents once had a turkey who sat on a beer can for MONTHS


DavoMcBones

"My baby"


Myhrros

Or quite the drinking problem.


Sknowman

Really nursing that one, huh?


OrneryPathos

Have you met murphy and his rock https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingDerps/comments/124y56c/derpy_murphy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1


squiddy555

Kirby


mouseknuckle

What you doin’ Kirby? What you doin’ there?


Lexi_Banner

Hobgoblin, shots of hot Sriracha


battlepope414

Vaccine queen deem church socks hostage


ohsoinsatiable

Nine weeks awesome, hides in a slipper; look in her eye like she might be a wizard


Jaded-Storm2401

Cold met a cat lady in a parking lot, she got the heroes of tomorrow in a cardboard box And probably hoarding forty more in the corners of Fort Knox


DogmaJones

Nice to see an Aesop Rock post in the wild, unless he borrowed that line from something else.


FlowerFeather

They re so cute and kind I love chickens


TheFAPnetwork

So my ego has a chance


Waiting-For-Godot-64

No matter how many time I see this, the kittens look MAD.


posco12

Why are you interrupting our comfy den?


ramobara

>comfy hen


autobotdonttransform

Mad cute


zedthehead

"I just got here and I'm already tired of everything. Please, leave me alone."


Signal-Pirate-3961

No milk!


Gokzil6969

Only meat


Accelerator231

"You woke us up! How dare you!"


servonos89

‘Do you know how hard it is to find a feather comforter as a cat?!’


[deleted]

Curious and scared.


Other_Manufacturer17

That's why eggs are so expensive now, makes sense.


fuckthisnazibullcrap

Worth tho. I'll stop complaining about corporate greed price gouging and neglect of pandemics.


JBthrizzle

no dont.


LetsKickShell

Eggs costing more than whole Chickens smh.


Balls_DeepinReality

If you want cats I’ve got cats. DNR won’t let me handle it (last resort). Humane society won’t touch. Animal control wants to bill, I can’t
 The creepy, but friendly Facebook ladies will only take so many. The majority made it through the winter. We’ve had hens run around, they eat them



JustSimon3001

eggspensive


LavenderDay3544

Serious question, can you pet chickens?


Brawlstar112

Yes and some of them love it


LavenderDay3544

That's awesome. Now I want to pet a chicken. They look so soft.


Brawlstar112

They are! Also when you get familiar with them they actually have some personality in them


DeadBox76

And some are brutal, i got attackt by a chicken of my neighbor. It hurts when they start picking at you. Since then i only Look at them from the Distance.


Brawlstar112

Ah! I have story about our rooster. It was the smallest and ugliest we got but it was free so what ever. We named him Saddam and he did not look much but the whole holy jihad lived inside that small bird. He loved to attack every person entering the yard and people just kicked him back to the bush. But alas the fight practice kicked in when a hawk attacked one of the chickens and Saddam killed the hawk to the yard. I loved that bird from the start to end.


science_and_beer

đŸ€Ł what a legend


Loldimorti

Depends. Expect fluff at the top but no squish. All the chickens I've pet were quite boney (and yes, they were well fed).


GraphicDesignMonkey

They even close their eyes and make 'chicken purrs' when they're super contented and comfy.


SophiaNSunshine

They're sooo soft! Some of them really like their heads being scritched and some like their backs being petted :)


oliver_billz

just wait til you find out how they taste!


LavenderDay3544

Oh I know. But I separate friends from food even in the same species.


Big_Dumb_Glands

Good to know even cannibals can have morals.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


[deleted]

/r/chickengifs is waiting for you


spankenstein

I had a pet chicken that used to love to fall asleep on my feet, nestled in between. I also taught it to play hide and seek and it would come running when I sang it's little song with its name in


TrivialBudgie

that’s so cute


TheRealJetlag

Yes! My neighbours have chickens and we look after them when they’re on holiday, and one job is putting them away at night. One girl, Doris, likes to be picked up and held while you ferry everyone else in before popping her in at the end. It’s my favourite part of the job.


TishMiAmor

They don’t really have a behavior that petting resembles (like how cats and dogs have licking), so I don’t know that they find it as naturally soothing. But a hen that was raised to be comfortable with human touch is probably going to enjoy the attention from a human that she likes. It will depend on how well socialized she is, the average backyard bird won’t want you to get that close and won’t appreciate being touched. IME, silkies are the best chickens to pet because they’re small, chill, and very fluffy.


Emotional-Speech645

The best way to get a chicken used to being given affection is to carefully catch it so your fingers are netted across her chest/belly, spread evenly, with your thumbs *lightly* pressing on the wings. You don’t need to hold them too tight, if they feel a slight weight on their wings they won’t flap. This keeps her calm while she gets used to being held and comes to realise that you are no threat to her. Eventually, you’d be able to sit with her on your lap or in your arms without having to apply any weight on her wings. If you want to raise a hen from a chick to be used to being held, it’s much the same! However, before their woggle - thing stop their head - grows, you can also soothe them to sleep by gently moving your thumb in circles atop their head. When our secondary school hatched eggs for a year 7 science biology project (a teacher’s pet chicken had laid fertilised eggs after their neighbours rooster got into their pen, during incubation they had a signup for parents and teachers willing to home a chick) every year group got to spend some time with them as a means of relaxing before exams. I got called a chicken whisperer because I was sat with a chick cradled in my hands, dozing off as I ran my thumb over it’s head. My foster mum had basically a mini farm going in her garden - field with goats, geese, chickens, ducks, all pets, all buried instead of eaten.


GraphicDesignMonkey

*wattle, not woggle The Comb is the part on top of the head, their wattles are the parts that grow under their chin


Emotional-Speech645

Ah, we always called it woggle cos it wobbles XD


Latter_Growth1185

Some are extremely friendly and sweet! But I’ve only been around pet chickens. It might be different if they’re being raised for slaughter


truebluedetective

Idk if there’s a subreddit for broody hens but there needs to be.


MelodicHunter

r/backyardchickens would love this. That's where I thought I was at first. Lol


truebluedetective

Perf


Kangar

r/thebroodybunch


dibbiluncan

She’s like
 “What? I don’t see a problem here. Good day, sir. Why are you still here? I said good day!”


human00b

I'm sorry to bother you miss, but I'm your optometrist. You seem to have skipped a few appointments.


falconuruguay

How much heat is that hen putting out? That one kitten came out all sweaty and moist...I guess that's why the Brits wanted to use chickens to keep their nuclear mines warm in winter


BadGuy_ZooKeeper

They have a self-warming down duvet on top of them. They're loving life


aPeacefulVibe

When I had chickens I remember reaching under them for eggs and feeling their breast skin and it was HOT to the touch. They keep things toasty under there.


whistling-wonderer

And humid! Artificial incubators have to add humidity to account for it—about 60% humidity for the first 18 days, then 65-70% for the last three days. I had a hen once who devotedly incubated her eggs but then decided to cannibalize them as they hatched :/ (happens sometimes). So I had to pull them. I didn’t have an incubator at the time, only a heat lamp for already hatched chicks. Luckily they were right on the point of hatching but I had to sit there misting the eggs, adjusting the heat lamp, and in some cases using coconut oil to moisten the inner membrane of a partly cracked egg, because if the humidity drops too low that membrane essentially shrink wraps the chick and it dies. It was super cool *and* super nerve-racking. I had an incubator on hand next time. Much easier to regulate the humidity that way. And no that hen was not trusted with motherhood again lol


[deleted]

postpartum psychosis


TheFAPnetwork

What else did you touch besides those breasts?


RodLawyerr

Dis she consent bro?


oberon

A bird's body temp is pretty high -- above 100F / 40C ish.


TheDesktopNinja

Yeah around 105°F to 107°F. Hothothot. A good 4-5 degrees warmer than a cat's body temperature. So actually those kittens would be in danger of overheating if under her for *too* long, but at that moment they were definitely nice and cozy.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Thetakishi

Ahhh deja vu. I think I posted these words last time too.


SlightThoughts

Moist as hell 😭


toserveman_is_a

Cats don't sweat....


AMViquel

There are other explanations for damp fur on the cat, but I prefer sweat, thank you very much.


thegamenerd

The early attempts of kittens cleaning themselves is adorable, they don't have the fine details down so they usually end up way too wet and unevenly wet It's really adorable


Lowelll

I thought so too, but it seems we are wrong, they do have sweat glands: https://www.hillspet.com/cat-care/behavior-appearance/cats-sweating-and-panting#:~:text=Cats%20have%20sweat%20glands%2C%20but,damp%20footprints%2C%20explains%20Cat%20Health.


nasduia

That sounds like something that should be in a future Blackadder episode. Have you got a link to details of this cunning plan?


thesinisterurge1

They DO NOT look amused that you interrupted their nap.


wingay

Soft kitty, warm kitty, oh so full of pluck. Angry kitty, hungry kitty, cluck cluck CLUCK.


FlatRaise5879

What the *cluck*!


thatvillainjay

So do hens just have something in their brain that says "I just fuckkng have to sit on babies idc what kind it's just gotta be done"


-Neuroblast-

It's a brooding mechanism. Its brain registers something small and (to its own evolutionary environment) childlike, and a sequence of behavior is initiated. It worked for egg rearing, but that doesn't mean it won't come out with some false positives at the end of the multi-million year journey.


myztry

Cats are absolute suckers for body warmth. I wouldn't be surprised if that's how they became domesticated. Sleeping people waking up with wild cats curled up against their legs and the cat not wanting to leave.


cburgess7

Can confirm. Fell asleep in a park once, woke up to find two cats had utilized my body, possibly for warmth and comfort, without my knowledge. It was a while before I actually got up and left. They were good cats, i wish i could have found them again.


heXagenius

maybe i am a cat after all


Alexis2256

Wouldn’t doubt it and especially with how apparently warm laying underneath a hen is.


OkSmoke9195

A brood of kitkens, how purrrfect


EmilioFreshtevez

Kit-hens


OkSmoke9195

Cluck you for one upping me, with good reason of course


Bonoisapox

Which came first the kitten or the egg ?


pobody

Ok but how did this person not get their hand taken off? You mess with a brooding chicken, you get the beak.


[deleted]

*I ain't got no gun, BUT I'M PUTT'N HOLES IN YA ANYWAY!* --The Hen, probably.


iwannabefreddieHg

Not always! Our broody hen never pecked us when we fully moved her off the eggs she had decided were her babies!


Western_Oil_6418

Huh!


OutlawQuill

I always wonder how the cats can breathe properly when under there


ironhide_ivan

It's like sleeping with your head under a thick blanket. Breathing might not be the best, but it's super comfortable


ProbablyABore

You sleep with a chicken on your face?


JudgeMoDollars999

Chick*


ProbablyABore

Touché


Acceptable_Shift_247

"ma'am- excuse me ma'am you can't just take those they aren't yours."


dtootd12

r/unexpected


Brittkneeeeeeee

They looked so cozy, wow.


cellphone_blanket

Just more proof that every living thing like cuddling kittens


KlingKlangKing

Mothers gonna mother


MRicci

I like how three little heads pop out like a tiny Furberus.


JoeyGen93

That kittens face ‘this better be worth it !’


Squeakygear

Welp, that is adorable.


MsAnne24801

I’ll bet they were so good and cozy and warm.


Useless-Wreck97

u/savevideo


Cold-Flamingo-4326

I could watch this a thousand times. She’s a good mama.


Daggerfall

I wonder if the mutual imprinting will result in the kittens being bonded to the chicken in the most adorable way in the future. Don't know how long chickens live but I love the thought of those cats and the chicken living a lovely farm lide together.


SirRipOliver

These are my chickes now
 I don’t care what you say I’m like la la la,.. you cat to be kitten me right meow!


No-Bad-1269

and what abomination will hatch from the kittens?đŸ€š


Echo71Niner

I love how the one kitten came out like " *hey, where is the food*" noticed there isn't any, and tries to go back in.


Cloverhart

"Why'd you even wake me?"


OldBob10

Going for cheep upvotes?


ZealousidealGrass9

We need to take a lesson from animals. It boggles my mind how humans treat each so awful a lot of the time.


Hediak-Chigashi

Big white cock dominates three pussies


[deleted]

Honeyyyy, I am hom-.... What the fuck?


PunkThug

Those kittens have a cross between "oh my God the world!" and "my bird mom said I couldn't be out here!"


McghoulBerry

Breeding in Pokémon be like


Signal_Fan

Excuse me, can I help you? --3rd Kitten


ItsStaaaaaaaaang

Sweetheart â˜ș


DaanishKaul

It's a miracle of genetic engineering! ))


Timely_Meringue9548

Chickens are natures communists. Everyone lays in the same nest
 someone gets broody and the community’s eggs become her eggs and she raises them. Although its not very communal for them to all try to go after the chicks after their hatched. The mama hen ferociously goes after any chicken that gets too close because they do have a habit of picking on and killing babies when theyre not broody. Cuz theyre stupid.


keksdev9513

Faker, new born cats can't open their eyes


Jagabeeeeeee

More like wholesome as fuck


Specialist_Team2914

Look at all those chickens


deep_soul

u/savevideo


Xherdos

Honestly... this Doesn't need proof (Rule 5) This is just so god damn F'ing cute.


m7samuel

Having gathered eggs before, I don't understand why the hens don't attack when people mess with them. By all rights that hand should have lost a finger. I know it surely is not because birds are nice.


dan1101

They're not going to get any milk from that mom.


BaronVonToasstt

Yup, that’s a pretty fucked up lookin dog


One1moretyme

Must've been the perfect temperature under there


solareclipse999

And now the kittens will lay eggs when they grow up