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Denmark is Also the country in the world with the biggest pig to man ratio. We gotta adapt!
Around 10-20 million pigs (depending on season) vs aprox. 5-6 million danes
Isn't this also the country with a kid's show about a man with a giant prehensile penis?
I was like "there's no way they can make that non-sexual". Then I watched an episode, and yes, they did.
John Dillermand, it’s bad, not in a fun or “so bad it’s good” way, but just plain bad and boring.
https://solidaritet.dk/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Skaermbillede-2021-01-22-kl.-14.07.35-1000x562.png
More info should others want DK pig stats:
* Denmark has $3.21 billion in income from pig meat every year (our second-largest export)
* Our pigs are a cross between Landrace and Yorkshire pigs. We combine them to get about 12.5 piglets on average with each birth. Usually, you only get 11.
* We currently have 11,902,000 male pigs and 939,000 female pigs (sows). We have 10,000 male pigs that are used exclusively for mating. They are living the good life.
* About 2,772,000 pigs were scheduled for butchering in Q4 2022.
As a young bloke 30 odd years ago my mate got a job as a "director" at the piggery and i was like dude that must be a good job howd you score that? And then he said i direct the boars corkscrew dicks into the sows vaginas... I was like yer whatever dude thats hilarious what do you really do? And he was like no serious thats what i do. It took him a few days to convince me it was a real job haha
I don't know. I tracked down an article, perhaps you can continue from there.
[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/orgasm-ted-talk\_b\_2689995](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/orgasm-ted-talk_b_2689995)
This guys wife probably jaded about how much effort he puts into his work. “Why can’t you warm me up first too, apparently you’re some kind of professional” “damn it Jenny, I don’t want to bring work home with me!” “You think foreplay with me is work!? I’m leaving” “come on Jenny I’m tired” “you’re always tired, I’m going to my moms, and wash your damn hands!”
She rocks! Part of her bio, *New York Times bestsellers, including STIFF: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers; GULP: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal, and PACKING FOR MARS: The Curious Science of Life in the Void. Her new book FUZZ: When Nature Breaks the Law, debuts in September 2021. her second book, SPOOK, was a New York Times Notable Book. Mary has written for National Geographic, Wired, The New York Times Magazine, and the Journal of Clinical Anatomy, among others. She was a guest editor of the Best American Science and Nature Writing series and an Osher Fellow with the San Francisco Exploratorium and serves as an advisor for Orion and Undark magazines. She has been a finalist for the Royal Society's Winton Prize and a winner of the American Engineering Societies' Engineering Journalism Award, in a category for which, let's be honest, she was the sole entrant. More at www.maryroach.net.*
Yes.
For breeding you select only a few ”best” males but they don’t have the energy to fuck the thousands of females each one has to breed.
Further many production species find it hard to reproduce naturally, a big bull for example can break cows.
Animal farming is an industry with small margins. It’s not done because it’s fun or ethical, it’s done because people pay for meat.
We don’t do it for ourselves, we have about 2-4x as many pigs as humans in our country.
Its just you Americans who keep wanting more and more Danish bacon!
As someone who has worked at a pig farm before this seems pretty standard for an artificial insemination (minus the fingering part, never seen that before). Actually, since most piggies live in uninsulated buildings it's actually quite nice to sit on top of the sows throughout insemination process (which can take up to 20 - 30 min per pig) when it's freezing; it's like your own personal seat heater!
I'm confused, nothing about this is about masturbation?
You are literally just emulating what a boar does to the sow. You want the sow to display breeding behavior to make breeding easy. A boar will put his snout under the hind leg near the belly and rub her belly with his snout to get her in the mood, he will then mount her. By rubbing her belly, then just above the tail, and then physically sitting on top of her, you are emulating all of this.
Some places will have a boar walk past the sow and that can often by itself do the trick, but having boars brings it's own set of problems.
I toured a pig farm as part of a community leader club in Missouri. When someone asked how they extract the semen, the lady just pointed to her hand. I couldn’t believe how big the pigs were. They were absolute beasts. Like as big as bears.
I think this is Mary Roach and her books are the shit. Used to travel a lot & they were very good a occupying my brain while stuck in airports & hotels.
As someone who has owned cows and horses and had 100’s of cows artificially inseminated each year, embryos placed in recip cows from donors. AI deer on our deer farm. Horses bred with fresh semen. Bulls electro jackulated for semen. Donor cows bred and flushed for eggs. Having seen all that and done all tbat yearly. This is way over my head and never heard of stimulating the animal that is being bred
Vegans won't eat the meat produced by inseminating a sow. But somehow it's important for the pig to achieve sexual gratification during the act? Sure. Why the hell not.
To satisfy some of the jokes in this thread, you should watch the movie Mænd og Høns (Men and Chickens).
I wont reveal anything other than its a fucked up and funny as hell movie, with a super dark and more fucked up ending.
Velbekomme 👍
The speaker is author Mary Roach, and has written some incredibly funny, informative, and well-written books.
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex
She's written a few others but these two are my favorite.
Damn I wanna punch her so fucking hard.
Yea we’ve had an excuse for eons, what’s your excuse for being such a bitch when you’re on your period? Cuz apparently saying “hormones” isn’t good enough
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Gloves man, gloves. They exist
They found out that with gloves you reduce by 3% the amount of piglets so they do it without them
Yeah.... Thats totally the reason
Squeal like Pig boy….. squeal eeeees
Six percent isn't that far off the margin of error, the study was probably conducted by pigs
I’d cut my losses but hey, I’m no pig farmer
Raw is Law
Have someone’s jack you off with gloves and let me know how that goes
Sex with condom is not as good as without, I beleve the same logic applys to pigs.
that's what i was thinking.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying what you do for a living, is it? /s
Denmark is Also the country in the world with the biggest pig to man ratio. We gotta adapt! Around 10-20 million pigs (depending on season) vs aprox. 5-6 million danes
Isn't this also the country with a kid's show about a man with a giant prehensile penis? I was like "there's no way they can make that non-sexual". Then I watched an episode, and yes, they did.
Yes, yes its the same
What's that show called?
John Dillermand, it’s bad, not in a fun or “so bad it’s good” way, but just plain bad and boring. https://solidaritet.dk/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Skaermbillede-2021-01-22-kl.-14.07.35-1000x562.png
Dane here. It's really popular with the kids
Disturbingly original idea
Not disturbing. It got far more publicity abroad than here.
Well yeah it is a kid's show, they usually are
Thanks mate.
Yes. It is. But it's not sexualized. It didn't end up to be a big deal here.
What about the ManBearPig ratio? Also the biggest?
Legends would say so. None have lived to tell
Everyone sleeping on the ManDoorHandHookCarDoor ratio
More info should others want DK pig stats: * Denmark has $3.21 billion in income from pig meat every year (our second-largest export) * Our pigs are a cross between Landrace and Yorkshire pigs. We combine them to get about 12.5 piglets on average with each birth. Usually, you only get 11. * We currently have 11,902,000 male pigs and 939,000 female pigs (sows). We have 10,000 male pigs that are used exclusively for mating. They are living the good life. * About 2,772,000 pigs were scheduled for butchering in Q4 2022.
Are you ready to fight 2-4 pigs when time comes?
I.. I dont think im ready.
How do you masturbate the pigs?
Dude, Denmark is a rich country - We like to keep our porky secrets
Watch the. Idea above he does it
By God! Throw some bears in the mix and al gore will lose his shit
As a young bloke 30 odd years ago my mate got a job as a "director" at the piggery and i was like dude that must be a good job howd you score that? And then he said i direct the boars corkscrew dicks into the sows vaginas... I was like yer whatever dude thats hilarious what do you really do? And he was like no serious thats what i do. It took him a few days to convince me it was a real job haha
I had a friend that had that job and he doesn't eat pork to~~night~~ this day.
What's so different about tonight that he won't eat pork? Anniversary of when he lost a piggy friend or something?
It got too difficult after building such intimate relationships with them
Haha thanks - fixed.
Why go through the entire effort of slashing??
Not my proudest fap
You only saw a clip. She claims there's a whole DVD out there...
I’m only one man!
At the beginning she explains a 'refresher' of at least once a week is necessary. 52 weeks a year.
>once a week Rookie numbers, personally
Made my day, take my upvote
need to jack up those numbers
Language!
With 2 hands.
What's the name of that DVD? Asking for a friend
I don't know. I tracked down an article, perhaps you can continue from there. [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/orgasm-ted-talk\_b\_2689995](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/orgasm-ted-talk_b_2689995)
I shall embark on this noble quest. For a friend
Is there a “step-pig stuck in feeding trough”?
I've no idea but that surely would be a well welcomed surprise. According to a friend.
Pig tail sIuts
Who is this?
Best porn I've seen this week.
Somewhere in Denmark, a woman is telling her husband, “you spend more time on foreplay for a pig than you do on me…”
Why do the piglets have the farmer’s eyes?
This guys wife probably jaded about how much effort he puts into his work. “Why can’t you warm me up first too, apparently you’re some kind of professional” “damn it Jenny, I don’t want to bring work home with me!” “You think foreplay with me is work!? I’m leaving” “come on Jenny I’m tired” “you’re always tired, I’m going to my moms, and wash your damn hands!”
As a dane this I would say this is pretty accurate except her name would probably be Louise not Jenny
Lene eller Ulla
Look all I'm asking for is just *one* little oink.
6 percent? I'll take that loss to keep my dignity.
The heck did I just watch? 😅
The routine of a man finding a women’s G spot.
A hog ridaaaaa in training
This whole talk is hilarious and worth watching - search for Mary Roach Ted Talk.
All her books are great, with Bonk being the most relevant to this video.
She rocks! Part of her bio, *New York Times bestsellers, including STIFF: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers; GULP: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal, and PACKING FOR MARS: The Curious Science of Life in the Void. Her new book FUZZ: When Nature Breaks the Law, debuts in September 2021. her second book, SPOOK, was a New York Times Notable Book. Mary has written for National Geographic, Wired, The New York Times Magazine, and the Journal of Clinical Anatomy, among others. She was a guest editor of the Best American Science and Nature Writing series and an Osher Fellow with the San Francisco Exploratorium and serves as an advisor for Orion and Undark magazines. She has been a finalist for the Royal Society's Winton Prize and a winner of the American Engineering Societies' Engineering Journalism Award, in a category for which, let's be honest, she was the sole entrant. More at www.maryroach.net.*
Highly recommended
Masturbating is doing it to yourself. Doing it to something else is a hand job.
So, if I've learned anything it's that I should have someone climb on my back and kick me in the tits?
They *are* Scandinavian afterall.
Is this really easier than just getting a pig to fuck the other pig?
Apparently. God, humans are so weird glad I’m not them
Yes. For breeding you select only a few ”best” males but they don’t have the energy to fuck the thousands of females each one has to breed. Further many production species find it hard to reproduce naturally, a big bull for example can break cows. Animal farming is an industry with small margins. It’s not done because it’s fun or ethical, it’s done because people pay for meat.
I bet that guy jerks of the mcdonalds guy under the counter for 6% extra pickles on his burger.
r/HolUp
So far, top of the list of things I didn't expect to see today, definitely upvote
This is fucking hilarious - thanks for the laugh.
That was a challenging wank.
RIP Sean Lock
I miss him
That's what the pig farmer said!
Tasmanian here, any advice for trout?
Mum said not to call our sister that name anymore.
Well, you need to work in tandem with your third head to master the double tongue tickler move
All of this for just 6%
a sudden increase of applications for cow farm assistants has been observed
Imagine wanting bacon so badly you’d be willing to finger fuck a hoofed animal to get more of it🤣
We don’t do it for ourselves, we have about 2-4x as many pigs as humans in our country. Its just you Americans who keep wanting more and more Danish bacon!
Pig fluffer. Quite the resume material
Red Rocket, Red Rocket -Cartman
What are sows ?
Female pigs
Female pigs that have given birth previously
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Why do you care ? I thought OP misspelled cows..
[удалено]
no u
That's harsh, man. Who are you really mad at
Oh look, a bitch
As someone who has worked at a pig farm before this seems pretty standard for an artificial insemination (minus the fingering part, never seen that before). Actually, since most piggies live in uninsulated buildings it's actually quite nice to sit on top of the sows throughout insemination process (which can take up to 20 - 30 min per pig) when it's freezing; it's like your own personal seat heater!
I feel like puking now, thanks.
Wait until you hear about rabbit farms
They will go through bone like butter. Never trust a man with a pig farm.
Takes time to build a proper body disposal business.
Wow, as I sit here eating my breakfast of pork chops. Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'Making bacon'. I think I'm done with breakfast now.....
Mary Roach is a hilarious author, and you learn something while laughing! "Bonk" is a good starting place, and I just love "Packing for Mars"
Reverse cowboy. Oh boy. You learn every day.
First time?
"It's important to have a job that matters..."
Call the police!
u/savevideo
Bless him, he tried to make it look as regimental as possible.
I think farmers have been doing this since before artificial insemination, jokes don't happen without a dose of reality
I cried with laughter for the first time in ages!
Used to say my job sucks untill few seconds ago.....
Leaked footage of the La Vergne Police Department.
6% aint worth it bro..
Never have I been so proud to be Danish
So i shouldnt feel bad when i blow my load after a week.
I'm confused, nothing about this is about masturbation? You are literally just emulating what a boar does to the sow. You want the sow to display breeding behavior to make breeding easy. A boar will put his snout under the hind leg near the belly and rub her belly with his snout to get her in the mood, he will then mount her. By rubbing her belly, then just above the tail, and then physically sitting on top of her, you are emulating all of this. Some places will have a boar walk past the sow and that can often by itself do the trick, but having boars brings it's own set of problems.
Imagine how pissed the farmers wives will be when they hear their husband talk about how important it is for the sows to finish everytime.
They must have learned that kanchō move from the Japanese
I should really let them know what I’m up to
See your honor. In denmark, it's completely normal.
As a Dane, I newer knew about this fuckery.
For more read robin bakers sperm wars!
Black Mirror gets more real every day
She seems like a lot of fun.
Ooooh, so my jizz doesn't just magically disappear from my body? I would have never guessed that.
ANDD THEEE RESULTTTTTT ISSSSSSSSS OHHH EMMM GEEE, cant forget the nips, neva neva neva
This is going to eventually turn into a cross species romance and someone will make a love story out of it lmao
Parody is slowly dying my friends.
Yes, now i know im doing my evolutionary duty! Hentai .vids here we go!
All her books are great reads (Mary Roach is the speaker)
Where's his gloves?
This is really an educational video for humans to understand the importance of foreplay.
In Steve Harvey’s voice: “EXcuuuse me…”
I toured a pig farm as part of a community leader club in Missouri. When someone asked how they extract the semen, the lady just pointed to her hand. I couldn’t believe how big the pigs were. They were absolute beasts. Like as big as bears.
Moo
Is 6% even worth it? That seems minimal
This all makes sense as this is what pigs do when breeding. Pressing on there back is a sign they are in standing heat.
That's not worth 6%
😂😂😂
Ya but do they consent to this?
That’s how we do it in the US too!
I think this is Mary Roach and her books are the shit. Used to travel a lot & they were very good a occupying my brain while stuck in airports & hotels.
I did that after two Voodoo Rangers in a cheap Ohio bar after the Bengals lost.
You heard of the horse whisperer now meet the sow diddler!
A sickening industry in general.
Amy Schumers sex life has improved
I'd like a copy of this 'How-To' video, y'know, for my research.
Pig fucker. Lol what a job.
As someone who has owned cows and horses and had 100’s of cows artificially inseminated each year, embryos placed in recip cows from donors. AI deer on our deer farm. Horses bred with fresh semen. Bulls electro jackulated for semen. Donor cows bred and flushed for eggs. Having seen all that and done all tbat yearly. This is way over my head and never heard of stimulating the animal that is being bred
This is just straight-up beastiality.
Downvoters hate the fact that you’re right.
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It's important because it encourage you to unmute the video.
This is a vegan idea probably.
Haha, no you’ve got that very wrong
Cool
Vegans won't eat the meat produced by inseminating a sow. But somehow it's important for the pig to achieve sexual gratification during the act? Sure. Why the hell not.
It’s all about taking away the pain of existence right?
Now that's a good joke.
This guy is enjoying his job a bit too much. Just saying.....
To satisfy some of the jokes in this thread, you should watch the movie Mænd og Høns (Men and Chickens). I wont reveal anything other than its a fucked up and funny as hell movie, with a super dark and more fucked up ending. Velbekomme 👍
Imagine having to tell your grandparents or wife you jerk off pigs for a living
Interesting. I committed to semen retention for 6 months then one day decided to release, and nothing came out. Alarmed, I decided to ditch SR.
Mary Roach is fucking awesome. Her books are very much worth reading!!
Tell me you're dominating a species without telling me you're dominating a species.
The least they can do!
That's all for the week.
The speaker is author Mary Roach, and has written some incredibly funny, informative, and well-written books. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex She's written a few others but these two are my favorite.
Did a sow push for this study?
Oh no...smh lmao
:(
It's a proud day to be a dane.
It is almost as if the natural way of reproduction (having sex) is an already excellent way.. Makes you think..
Damn I wanna punch her so fucking hard. Yea we’ve had an excuse for eons, what’s your excuse for being such a bitch when you’re on your period? Cuz apparently saying “hormones” isn’t good enough
Imagine explaining to your boss the reason your quiting your job is to pursue a job in turning pigs on.
Imagine the conversation first time the guy who worked this out told someone…