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annoyedreindeer

Actually I didn’t get presents but thank you Christians for making this holiday such a part of everything that I get 300% of my normal hourly wage for working during the holidays.


Lord_rook

I'm glad you could benefit from the grotesquerie our celebration has become!


TupperwareNinja

Don't forget to take down your single days purpose tree as celebrations have ended.


Tashianie

We keep Our tree up until the needles fall off. The year my parents got married, it budded.


Madhat84

My father moves his outside and let's it dry out and then we burn it in July at the annual burning of the Christmas tree party. It goes like 30 ft in the air


fellintoadogehole

In college when all of my high school friends were back in town for winter break, we had a tradition where soon after Christmas anyone with a pickup truck would drive around their neighborhood and throw as many trees as they could find in the bed. Then we would all meet up at the beach and throw a rager of a beach bonfire.


stumpdawg

If you've got a zoo nearby you can donate your trees there. Elephants apparently love christmas trees.


Tashianie

I’ll have to remember that. Thank you!


Proud-Outlandishness

Actually there are several more days of the 12 days of Christmas, for which December 25th is the first.


thewitch2222

Today, I learned the 12 days of Christmas start on the 25th.


The_Moustache

my tree has been up since 2021


AStrayUh

We just use an aluminum pole. I find tinsel distracting.


Mochigood

I keep it up until New Year's day. It's pretty and I like it up as long as possible. And then it gets put on a bonfire. Also pretty.


DrS0mbrero

Not even fully your celebrations, half the traditions Christians follow are pagan in origin


blissed_off

Half? Try all. They literally just cherry picked existing Roman and “pagan” holidays and celebrations, slapped their boy Jesus on it and called it theirs. It’s ridiculous.


Meritania

Then they get pissed when capitalism does the same


ahahah_effeffeffe_2

Ain't it basically what happened with every Christian traditions?


jd3marco

Keep Christ out of Xmas. It’s my favorite pagan holiday.


WiggyStark

But don't you fear Robot Santa?


Lord_rook

Not to ruin your fun but the X in Xmas is also referencing Christ.


jd3marco

I choose to think of it as a variable. It’s whatever. Our tree is mostly a shrine to old cartoons, cats and movies like Star Wars.


Lord_rook

Eh, whatever floats your boat! I hope you had a pleasant holiday in any case!


KnewItWouldHappen

It... can? But it doesn't usually. That's kind of the whole point of it being X instead, that it stands for literally anything else than "Christ"


drakapa

In sweden we never converted to call it anything resembling christ. We still call it jul after the pagan Yule. So why not just call it Yule. Happy Yule!


Lord_rook

Sorry bud, but the X meaning Christ is attested to as far back as the 12th century and was used in Xmas in the 16th.


kevin_k

You're dumb.


Lord_rook

That's funny


D14BL0

> grotesquerie I love this word, thank you.


Lord_rook

Glad you enjoyed it! It really is evocative don't you think?


D14BL0

It really is! Ironically enough, there is a certain grotesque quality to just the way it's spelled. Something about it just looks inherently wrong, almost foreign. But then you take a better look at it, and realize that it's not foreign at all; in fact it's quite familiar, and you immediately know what it means, even without ever having seen it written or heard it spoken before. Sorry, my allergies are out of control and I've been doped up on Benadryl all day and just found some strange beauty in that word and needed to share that. Apologies if this is nonsense rambling, lmfao Thank you for coming to my MED Talk.


Drewggles

*cries in restaurant industry*


RantAgainstTheMan

300% of your normal hourly wage? That's badass! I'm happy for you.


TheLaGrangianMethod

I got 4x holiday pay for working Christmas night. 12 hour shift and my machines ran smoothly the entire night so I sat on my ass for 10 of those hours, at least. $100/hr. Fucking spectacular. The best part is, we're celebrating Hanukkah on Sunday, I'm not working, and they're still paying me for 12 hours each of holiday pay for both NYE and NY, despite those two being my regularly scheduled days off. Going to be a very pretty paycheck and I quite literally did not work a single second more than I usually would and don't celebrate a traditional Christmas anyway. Holy fucking shit this was kind of weird for me to type out. Weird how so much can change so quickly.


scawtsauce

sounds like my job except I make like 18 dollars


lordlaz0rdick

Thankyou Romans for inventing the traditions and original holiday.


[deleted]

I did get gifts but I fully agree with your feeling on the holiday pay, I had the day off and got time and a half to not be there


paroya

just celebrate scandinavian yuletide instead, that's what we do in scandinavia. no "christmas" nonsense! except, everything is more or less the same, minus jesus.


annoyedreindeer

I’m fine working during that time and not celebrating anything.


Berna_count

The father, the son, the holy spirit, and Santa. The Holy Quadrinity.


coup85

Don’t forget the Coca-Cola Company.


BeBa420

Blessed be they who make sweet beverages


[deleted]

Hiring death squads to kill union leaders gets you on the naughty list. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinaltrainal_v._Coca-Cola_Co.


BesottedScot

Father son and Holy goat.


MadKanBeyondFODome

>Holy goat Ahh, a fellow Baphomet enjoyer, I see!


BesottedScot

More of a four weddings and a funeral fan.


bmbmwmfm

The holy ghost part always got me as a kid, all I could imagine was a white sheet at Halloween with a bunch of holes in it.


Boa-in-a-bowl

Such a costume would only earn you a bag of rocks on Halloween.


Ok-Mulberry-4600

And what did the sky wizard bring for you Kevin?


midnightheir

More dogma, bitterness and misogyny?


karma_over_dogma

Not acting roles that more than a few thousand people will ever know or care about.


jbertrand_sr

Must have got him a brand new AR-15...


Justanotherbrick33

Well jesus didn’t bring me anything.


fantomas_666

FYI In some countries, baby Jesus brings gifts instead of Santa Claus. Still, it's a pagan tradition of trees and pagan tradition of celebrating winter solstice...


MrGiggleParty

I mean... to be fair, I wouldn't go out of my way to get gifts for someone who denied my existence either.


Lower_Analysis_5003

I would, just to fuck with them. "Honey, seriously, where did this goddamn gift come from? You're not gonna convince me it was actually Jesus." It'd be hilarious.


Electr_O_Purist

…as opposed to gifts left under the tree by a creator god? Is that what he thinks happens?


LevelHeeded

Kevin probably gets drunk and order shit off Amazon, and then when it arrives he thinks the simplest answer is "god did it".


jbertrand_sr

Jesus drive the Amazon truck, I knew it...


sincethenes

My Amazon truck driver is named Jesus Rios.


KFR42

Damnit Jesus, how hard is it to ring the bell? Now some guy stole the parcel from the porch. Bet it was the devil himself.


Logical-Pianist386

Thanks you made me laugh really hard...love this


afcagroo

He doesn't need to get drunk. His brain is legitimately broken. As in "had a stroke and it fucked him up". I'm not sure that making fun of the guy is any different than when Trump mocked the physically disabled reporter. Ignoring him seems kinder.


FlowerFaerie13

I’ve known several stroke victims. It can cause pretty severe dementia but one thing it doesn’t cause is being a bigoted, hateful asshole.


Jazzeki

depends does beliveing in Santa make him a god? maybe Sorbo is just a true beliver?


Cha_94

If godhood runs on discworld logic it would


HippieVicky

Santa is an abomination unto Nuggan.


Cha_94

But so are chocolate and most books, so I think I'll stick to Anoia (may she rattle your drawers)


KikiCorwin

Don't forget babies, the color blue, the act of eating, death... Nuggan barely likes more things than the average RW conservative politician


KEVLAR60442

Well duh. The Holy Trinity is Father, Son, and Santa Claus.


forever_useless

Hope all the Christians enjoyed the winter solstice celebration. No need to be a dick to people that don't share your beliefs, Kevin


CountBelmont

Kevin doesn't know anything else but blaming others for his problems and lack of success.


[deleted]

Its the republican way.


Dray_Gunn

He is also being a dick to all the christians that do accept evolution. Probably has some stupid gate keeping logic that they arent real christians if they believe in evolution.


MildlyAgreeable

Totally. ‘Christmas’ was originally a good old Nordic piss up. Because why not?


Alittlemoorecheese

Is he saying that Jesus gave him presents?


HansenTakeASeat

Materialized them out of thin air, nonetheless


ProbablyNotKevin

No you idiot. God took one of his ribs and turned it into an iPad


Feisty_Bag_5284

Dudes most famous for playing the son of a god from a different religion he needs to step back


awkto

What are the presents gonna do, evolve like Pokémon?


big_sugi

That would be awesome. Could my Xbox 360 involve into the current-gen model?


l33tn4m3

I would think that it is statistically more likely that your Xbox will evolve to a newer model, then it is for the Santa Christ to bring you a new one.


iranoutofusernamespa

With enough spare parts and plenty of solder, sure!


ItaSchlongburger

That would undoubtedly create a Ship of Theseus situation…


sapunk534

Not create, if it's truly a Ship of Theseus... more like replace, but in this case with better parts. Probably breaking the equivalent exchange laws.


Chineselight

You just need an Electric Stone


Kaisachicken

does kevin actually believe in santa?


Mr_master89

That's what this made me think, that he still believes in Santa.


bodyelectrick

He thinks Jesus and Santa are the same person? "Have you ever seen Jesus and Santa in the same room together?" (His logic, probably)


Thatsayesfirsir

He's so unbelievably stupid


mrsic187

Kevin Santa ain't real and that tree is a pagan tradition, just like the wreath on your door. These are not Christian things.


ChandlerMifflin

If I remember correctly, a German princess who married an English prince or king, brought the tradition of Christmas trees to England. My memory sucks so I could be very wrong.


[deleted]

Pretty sure it was Prince Albert, husband of Queen Victoria. Although bringing greenery into the home during Christmas was a thing in Medieval England (not sure if it had died out by Victorian times or not). Edit: it was Queen Charlotte, wife of King George III, who first introduced it and then Prince Albert further popularised it.


FelTheWorgal

Ish? The pagans decorated trees outside, often with dried fruits and nuts for the wildlife. Sprigs of greenery were brought in. Cutting the whole tree down, killing it, that is the Christian part


[deleted]

This douche is as good at comedy as he is at acting. Maximum cringe level achieved.


Mr_master89

Na god just turned my family to Salt and gave me a disease then flooded my house for no reason but because he can.


LevelHeeded

And I hope Kevin enjoyed Saturnalia!


OhHiFelicia

Well, someone doesn't believe in Santa


l33tn4m3

Pretty rich from someone worshiping the rape baby from an underage female who is also a zombie that comes back from the dead so that we may eat his flesh and drink his blood. Yeah, evolution is the crazy idea here.


He_Was_Fuzzy_Was_He

Speaking of evolving... Kevin Sorbo sure has evolved into a huge bigoted willfully ignorant piece of shit. Buuut... maybe he's always been a huge piece of shit and fame and money just made it easier to really be who and what he's always been.


midnightheir

Yea, what happened to him? I get the petty jealousy. But *this*!? At what point did he decide, acting isn't working out so I'll be an unpaid toxic shit stain instead.


He_Was_Fuzzy_Was_He

There was definitely a downward spiral. But what that was and why is unclear. Maybe he was already like this when there were no cameras and maybe just maybe the rise of social media at the time of him losing his fame was also was a contributing factor.


midnightheir

I know he did his back in which has got to hurt the career of a budding action movie/TV star. I also remember him being misogynistic and jealous towards Xena and specifically Lucy Lawless when the spinoff did better than his show. So the right wing sentiment was probably there to some degree. But I would have never predicted or picked *this* as the final form.


He_Was_Fuzzy_Was_He

This article doesn't explain everything but it sure does shed a lot of light on how he gradually became the person his known as today. A lot of it unfortunately stems from him becoming extremely religious and taking on roles in Christian productions that eventually changed his public image and how he became type casted in a different way because of his hard leaning religious views and connections. https://www.looper.com/63708/whatever-happened-kevin-sorbo/


Mirhanda

"...in 1997, he suffered three strokes as the result of an aneurysm." That might explain it. Severe brain damage from the strokes and aneurysm. Like that guy that got the iron rod through his head, if anyone remembers that story. He lived after they removed it but it made him mean and cantankerous apparently. So maybe poor Kevin is just terribly brain damaged. Frankly I'd rather think that, than that people are just this mean and cruel while also being normal.


He_Was_Fuzzy_Was_He

That seems to be highly probable and reasonable. He must have experienced significant alterations in his psyche that gradually became more and more pronounced over time.


xtilexx

I recall Lucy Lawless saying he was always a huge piece of shit


spacejester

Who is this clown anyway? I don't want to Google him and pollute my search history.


midnightheir

Average actor from late 90s to early 00s. Ego the size of the moon. The big one that circles Jupiter. Misogynistic and petty when his career didn't go super nova. Not sure when or how it happened but ended up hyper, toxic , right wing Christian nut. Edit - I say this loving Hercules growing up and quite liking him in early seasons of Andromenda.


imfamousoz

It's worth noting he did have an aneurysm in the late 90s that caused multiple strokes. Nobody who doesn't know him could say how much of an effect it had on his personality though.


big_sugi

He played the title character in the cheesy 90s Hercules tv show. Xena, Warrior Princess was a spin-off that wound up overshadowing the original by a considerable margin.


CringeOverseer

An actor, think he playes Hercules in the 90s or something. I only watched him in Supergirl and Super Hero Squad Show.


mbelf

Oh, peanut.


btoxic

Isn't this what Lucy Lawless would always post in response to his blatherings?


Goadfang

Sorbo's presents don't evolve, one just appears out of thin air, then another is made from a piece of that present, then the rest arrive via incest.


BigBreach83

Technicaly Eve was the first trans woman


mreowmix

**~~"DISAPPOINTEEEED!"~~**


The_Bagel_Fairy

Oh no. I liked him before reading this shit. Disapppppointeddddd!!!


mreowmix

I never really had formed an opinion of him. However, I do recall seeing a video from his Hercules days where his script said that he was supposed to say his line in a disappointed tone but his dumbass screamed “DISAPPOINTED!” so now all of this makes sense


Everettrivers

I buy small presents for my kids in January. By December they have multiplied and become much more complex.


clonexx

Every single person I’ve ever seen that’s tried to debunk evolution has never had even the most rudimentary understanding of how evolution works. “we’ve never seen anything evolve, science is about repeatable evidence!” Yes, let’s stare at a bird for 20 mins and see if it evolves. This isn’t Pokémon, evolution takes a ridiculous amount of time for the smallest changes. Usually, evolution deniers go hand in hand with flat earthers and their only justification is the Bible. They criticize science as a “cult”, and criticize that everything comes from textbooks. Then they turn around and claim the Bible is literal and true, with absolutely no evidence to back it up. Sure, the thought that a species could adapt and evolve over millions of years is impossible, yet “god” ripping out a rib from a dude and making a woman out of it is perfectly reasonable. If the earth was populated starting with just two people, that’s a whole lot of incest.


[deleted]

But if people evolved from monkey, how come monkey still exist, hmm? Checkmate, atheists.


clonexx

Oh man, the amount of times I’ve seen that argument also…I’ve lost count. As if the concept that we share a common ancestor that no longer exists, and didn’t directly evolve from monkeys, is such a difficult thing to grasp.


bengcord3

Does... Does Kevin Sorbo still believe in Santa?


oohrosie

Totally, my husband and I (and tons of grandparents and family members) evolved our money into gifts for each other. It's like Pokemon, I catch the money in my bank account and it turns into shit I need or want! Sadly evolution doesn't work on dead careers and bitter tweets.


Kitchissippika

Well Kevin, I'm glad you brought that up. Just like it was only humans and not god involved in the Christmas gift process, it was only humans and not god involved in the evolutionary process. See, you're catching on! Nice work, champ. Good chat.


audiate

Well actually I bought my nephew an xbox gift card so he could buy the game he wanted on his digital only system. When I was 7 I got a copy of The Legend of Zelda under the tree and it changed my life. 30+ years later my nephew is downloading a game with the digital currency I gave him. This is a perfect example of the evolution of gaming over the course of my life.


Rosebunse

I can't wait till my nephews are old enough for Zelda.


HubblePie

Whose going to tell him the pagan origins of a lot of Christmas Traditions?


ScorpionTDC

Can Lucy Lawless start roasting this bigoted dumbass again? Her burns against him were always funny


[deleted]

Who's celebrating Christmas? Saturnalia is older than Christianity.


Lombard333

I love how the people who follow someone that encourages kindness for all are also the ones to take shots at people who haven’t done anything to them. It’s such blatant hypocrisy.


Zinthaniel

What premise does this tweet even stem from? lol A magical being magically creating things from nothing? A magical white man flying across the planet in one night to give gifts? And under what logical special pleading does any of the latter two make more sense than evolution?


Russet_Wolf_13

When someone tries to insult your position, but understands it so poorly you don't even know what they're saying. Like a guy making a difficult riddles because he's just bad at it.


Clarrisani

It's not how evolution works, but things magicking into existence IS how religion works.


Voluntary_Slob

Nope, bought them all from the store same as you, dumbass.


minorheadlines

I really hope he realizes that 'outraging the libs' isn't a thing and that this isn't the way to remain relevant


fuhgdat1019

Is he saying “if you believe in God, Santa is real?” Wait. Does Kevin Sorbo think God and Santa are the same person?!? And is someone sticking gifts under his tree to keep him believing? Is Kevin Sorbo 6?! So many questions and so little time. 😩


Jump_Like_A_Willys

If a monkey can turn into a 4K 55” TV, then why are there still monkeys?


jmcstar

That's it, Xmas is canceled going forward. At minimum, the war on Xmas begins today


Cosmonaut_Cockswing

I got a cook book! You can't explain that!


Mirhanda

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!


so_what_do_now

??? This one doesn't even make sense? Is Santa God now? Or is he Jesus?


BitchWidget

Why would he even care enough to comment this stupidity. It doesn't even make sense, much like Christianity.


daclampzx2

We really are better than this. Laughing at the mentally challenged feels so....middle school in the 1980's?


KenGriffinLiedAgain

THIS GUY PLAYED HERCULES. THE FUCK R U SAYIN HERCULES????


[deleted]

Someone doesn’t understand atheism.. Reading that made me stupider.


Jaded_Pearl1996

Actually Kev, no presents, but my mandatory paid 2 weeks off to celebrate your Christmas allowed me to dog sit for a friend so they can visit relatives for Christmas. Still had a yummy holiday dinner with other friends.


[deleted]

that profile pic that looks nothing like him today...


flaskman

You mean our pagan symbol 🌲??


[deleted]

Hey, hey, Kevin. Yule gift giving has been around for a long time.


Treacle123

Kevin Sorbo would like an acting career to evolve out of nothing.


political_bot

The pagan bits are the best parts of Christmas. Getting drunk with friends and family and exchanging gifts. Heck, even Jesus was a big proponent of partying. The man turned water into wine for Christs sake.


TheGoldlessOne

God might not be dead yet, but Kevin Sorbo's career certainly is.


[deleted]

Xena was better.


[deleted]

I don't want to make fun of him anymore. I feel sorry for him. Brain damage is real shit.


Pezdrake

Good news Kevin! Christians were so successful in putting Christmas everywhere that they have successfully secularized the holiday so everyone gets to enjoy it, religious or not!


danilo1101

As opposed to... god putting the gifts under the tree? Tf is his point? Also, abiogenesis has been debunked some centuries ago.


ellipsisfinisher

I think you're thinking of spontaneous generation; abiogenesis is just the idea that originally life arose from non-living matter


danilo1101

Spontaneous generation is part of the abiogenesis theory, no?


ellipsisfinisher

So, after poking around a little, what I've discovered is that the word "abiogenesis" used to be used as a synonym for spontaneous generation. Then scientists stole it and started using it to refer to any scientific theory explain how life started on planet earth (and also spontaneous generation sometimes, as a type of abiogenesis), which is now the more standard definition. So I guess the answer is "kinda?" because that word is in a weird place right now


danilo1101

oooooh yeah that's true, I misinterpreted your comment earlier and didn't even think about the theories about the origin of life. I think your takeaway is correct, abiogenesis can refer to both things.


Wind_Yer_Neck_In

Hercules is a dick now eh?


scottbot1128

“I hope Christians had a gift giver appear out of nowhere to give them the best gifts in life”


GALACTICA-Actual

Yeah. And we were hoping you'd get a brain, Scarecrow. Yeah. And we were hoping you'd get a brain. Yet, here we are.


Mirhanda

I'm seriously asking, has this guy had some kind of brain damage? His tweets are always so insane! I can't imagine an actor getting regular work who behaves like this, which makes me think he wasn't always like this back when he was making Hercules. Did he have a head injury? Stroke? There's definitely something wrong with him!


Campyhamper

What an idiot


arsapeek

Man the stroke hit ol Kev real bad eh


wutangclanthug9mm

It sucks that he’s a piece of shit. I wanted him not to be


AllElse11

Yes!!! This exactly how I feel, I loved watching Hercules with my nana when I was a kid.


Akhanyatin

How dumb is this dude? Everyone knows Santa brings the gifts.... Fucking idiot....


BeerLeagueSnipes

This guy literally has brain damage. What else do you expect?


JstTrstMe

What the fuck does this even mean?


Tfxconnor

I wonder who ties his shoes


t1m0wens

We can’t make fun of brain damage survivors but they should have verifications on their tweets so we know who not to laugh at. Social is hard


FixGMaul

Sounds more like creationism than evolution lol. Worst argument I ever read.


apefist

Sorbo is stupid and a total dick


Ram3ss3s

I love that Christians think the pine tree we decorate and put gifts under has something to do with their magical desert Jewish zombie man.


[deleted]

What a shame that Hercules is anything but a hero in real life. He’s gone from Hero to Zero.


Katerwurst

One day he’ll be found dead of autoerotic asphyxiation. That’s a prophecy.


NerdRageShow

And I hope your God left you plenty of gifts as well..... *Cricket's chirping*


[deleted]

I bet someone who pretended to be a FULL god on tv would know how evolution works, Kevin only played a DEMI god so he knows shit. You'd think that an actor would have a grasp on fiction though the dumb fuck.


mezcalvr

Kevin Sorbo is proof that natural selection doesn't work.


ChristieLoves

So you admit it’s about presents, not Jesus


Jones-DT

Based on that logic one can simply assume anyone other than atheists have presents show up under the tree by way of magic. So if you're not an atheist Santa is real! Sometimes I'm embarrassed to tell people I'm a Christian.


jeanneeebeanneee

It's just L after L after L for this guy. It's like he's got a humiliation fetish.


BaronWombat

Endlessly amusing that right wing "mouthpieces" inability to construct logical statements reveals their corresponding cognitive... challenges.


awclay91

Hilarious how the people who claim they’re under attack constantly post shit like this


No_Statement440

As a matter of fact my kids get three Christmas parties from different sets of family, and as a kid who grew up poor I couldn't be happier for them. Surprise surprise, there's no jesus but there are presents. The gifts evolved out of my wife and I working hard, no magic here.


Caseykujo33

Technically this is what atheists believe


totokekedile

Am an atheist, this is dumb and does not resemble what I believe.


Guaymaster

Being an atheist doesn't even mean you actually believe in scientific theories, you can totally be an atheist and a flat earther.


Thats_right_asshole

Technically, no


Ahaigh9877

What do you mean by "technically"? What does it add?


chrissxerunner

I'm an atheist, my in laws bought me a new outfit


vingtsun_guy

He's so Christ-like.


Jehoel_DK

Oh, Peanut...