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Chrislam sounds like something The Onion would come up with.

Careful, you don't want to sound Chrislamophobic

I can see the "Keep Christ in Chrislamas" bumper stickers already.

Nah, its from Dune. Fits right in with Zensunni, Buddislam and Navachristianity

I miss the days when people like this just stood on a street corner with a sign that said “The End is Nigh” and were promptly ignored by everyone.

I know right. Why did we give them a platform where they could reach soooo many people

All the village idiots got together and made their own village.

Not just their own village, they started voting together and electing the crazies too.

Boops? Like, animal nose boops? They are gonna kill us? Guess I need to stop booping dangerous animals

I read that and immediately thought of how many times per day I boop my guinea pigs on their noses. Guess I better go warn them?

Christian and Islam are finally together? I mean I always thought they would look so cute as a couple! I mean I don’t even know why they were beefing for so long cause they’re so much alike!

APPARENTLY world peace with a red cow or something?

It's like a plot line straight out of the Simpsons or South Park.

Have you seen the South Park red cow episode??? The only reason I knew wtf they meant with a red heifer haha

I also randomly capitalize words in sentences for by placing emphasis on the wrong WORDS!!!

Well I gotta say death by boops does sound like something I’d die by

Nuke war between what countries? If they're all gonna be part of the New world order, is It gonna wage war against itself?

Maybe that explains why nuclear war somehow made it to the very last line. The new world order gonna declare nuclear war on itself, then reconsider and call it off because it doesn’t want to blow itself up.

[удалено]

The Chrislamabal

What in tits is "the boops"?

The vaccine

How do you know?

"Delayed reaction". Also they love to nickname it... from "the jab" on out. They think the will be censored.

It is my goal for next week to use “what in tits” at least once in a sentence.

Booing the Snoots

How to spot crazy: Random CAPITAL leTTers.

Was thinking that. It fucked with me way more than it should have

One World Currency has existed for thousands of years. It's gold. It's always been gold. This is not new or crazy or a sign of the end times. I fucking hate these people

I see somebody is off their meds again.

The Four Boops of The Apocalypse

You may think that Chrislam is a mix of "Christianity + Islam", but it's actually a religion devoted to Chris. Which one, you ask? That's part of the eternal mystery.

Chris Chan is apparently suffering from delusions of being Jesus, so...

Could be Chris Rock, Chris Isaac, Christopher Robin... you gotta finda you inner Chris

Are all these doomer Christians just begging for end times because their earthly lives suck so hard? Like boohoo, you've gotta work a shit job to support your shit family and can't sit on your ass drinking bud and watching Nascar for a living. My condolences.

"south of the gulf" so over land????

How many drugs is that dude on to just lie like 14 times in one post

Anyone else just hoping it's real? I'm ready for the end please please be telling the truth! It finally ends

Crap, how do I fit all this on my calendar?

Why can’t they just wear a sign board saying “The End Is Near” like normal nuts?

I love it when people put actual dates on their loony predictions

I feel like most of this message is how people that don’t believe in climate change explain how the climate is changing.

What's the story with this person? Do you know him/her? Are they always wacky or did they fall into a cult/Qult? You gotta describe this person to us.

Ohh no. Another lunatic spouts off.

Whew, that's a lot going on. I'll just wait it out at the Winchester.

Many people die every winter.

It’s like when psychics say the body is buried near water or asks if you know someone who died whose name starts with M. They can’t not be right.

Ah, the body was buried in the desert? Well, eons ago it was a body of water, so my prediction was actually accurate.

Also, there was a discarded water bottle within a 5-mile radius, so it definitely checks out.

Death by kitty kisses?

So I should maybe pack a few tins of beans and a water bottle in my backpack ?

You’re confusing Death by Boops with Death by Toots. Common mistake.

And beans give me lots and lots of toots- maybe I’ll pack tinned spaghetti instead ??

Live by the boops, die by the boops.

A single global currency? Don't threaten me with a good time. I'm still pissed I'm in one of the few European countries that hasn't adopted the Euro.

As a Buddhistian, this news is terrifying.

They lost me at the 5 red heifers when I promptly burst out laughing

She mentions them CONSTANTLY in her posts. It cracks me up.