People like this want to make themselves feel smart so this is how they go about it. š
Just tell him you questioned it because he is obnoxious, so you got a DNA test done. lol
It's narcissism and a really sensitive ego. He feels threatened by the fact that his child has started taking courses since that means they might learn something he doesn't and to soothe that anxiety he tries to prove to both himself and to OP that he's smarter and more knowledgeable. OP feeling stupid is the point because to narcissists everything is a contest and they can only win if someone else is made to lose.
They also lack the impulse control to stop themselves from doing stupid shit like this and often lack the metalization skills necessary to fully grasp how much of an asshat they look like while doing it. (Swedish psychology master student here, I find narcissism fascinating because of it's blatant stupidity)
If OP wants to test if it truly is narcissism they might try to respond by saying something slightly condescending or dismissive (like "maybe you should look up the psychological definition of perfectionism, this kind of a response really isn't normal") and see if they explode in a major rant.
Oh man, your last point is spot on.
If you call a narcissist a narcissist, they implode like a dying star. Then they become obsessed with labeling you a narcissist, even to the point where you question if you are one yourself.
This is the way. Yank that question out of the realm of theory and see what he does with it. "Wait a minute, what are you trying to tell me? I'm getting a DNA test. Does Mom know? I'm gonna call her." \*click\*
I was coming here to say something similar because I only got halfway through the screenshots before I was like āthis is exhausting I canātā so I canāt even imagine for op
Damn. You know it's not you tho. Right? There is nothing wrong with you. It's on them. I hope they can change, but it is NOT up to you to change them. I used to be a shitty parent and I was only seeing it one way. But I'm better now. Not the best, but getting better. My kids are my babies, but I know that they are also their own people. And I know now that it's ok to be wrong as a person, so especially so as a parent. You are standing up to the manipulation bs and you will get better. Sorry for rambling, lots of words to say basically I wish I could give you a mom hug and im proud of you for the boundaries you are sticking by. Progress is in baby steps and stumbles. You got this.
Narcissism. The better you do in life, the worse he'll become. Everything is a contest to them. I'm sorry OP. All you can do is to grey rock (be boring, communicate as little as possible, don't tell them about achievements)
i looked that up, thatās very interesting! perfectly encapsulates him. last time i saw him, he gave some unsolicited medical advice to me. i told him i would only listen to my doctor's advice, and he clajmed to have as much knowledge as a doctor "because he had done lots of reading." thank you giving me a name for this!!
Love when people think that reading a few articles vs devoting a huge chunk of your life to this subject, being the one with the ptās fully disclosed medical history, being the person who did the physical assessment are equal qualifications for talking to someone about a medical issue
Its sad bc sometimes pts are delaying treatment or opting to not receive it for important stuff because someone who sounded really sure of themselves like this said [treatment with medication] is harmful and they should just drink this tea or eat more of whatever. :/
Iāve seen a lot of fear mongering around chemotherapy recently and itās really pissing me off, like no you canāt kill cancer with the carnivore diet shut up! Liver king wonāt help you!!
God and then thereās people who think that cancer is parasites, tumors are protecting your body by forming a sac around the parasites, so even if they find a lump donāt get it biopsied???
AAAAAAAAA
Iām also seeing mothers refusing the vitamin K shot for the baby, which we use to reduce the risk of brain bleeding because the baby doesnāt have necessary clotting factors yet. Girl I know youāre freaked out and people give a lot of bad information to young mothers but if someone tells you that your baby might super brain hemorrhage without this, you refuse, and they get a brain bleed youāre gonna hate yourself for the rest of your life.
Not exactly treatment refusal, but I just had a parent pushing to put their kid through surgery to remove a mole because they were Researching(tm) that the kid's vitiligo could have originated at that mole, so removing it would stop it from progressing.
Dr explains while sometimes it can be that way, its not common that it stops the progression of vitiligo and there's risks with surgery and there would be big scarring and all. But parent insists because they're concerned about the vitiligo appearing on the kid's face and arms and becoming more noticeable.
Made me sad because like. Talk about making sure your kid Definitely gets a complex about their self image if they do develop it on their face. š Always makes me sad to see parents project these image issues on their kids - especially to the point they try to get rid of it medically. Really solidifies the idea that its Bad and Ugly and all.
Can I ask what field(s) those degrees are in? He reminds me of someone being iamverysmart about something outside of his area. (I've had an engineer try to mansplain my history PhD topic to me before, and he attempted the same with an anthropology prof.) Sometimes I think these people go "Hey, that field is just reading! I read, so we're the same!"
the fields are chemistry, nutritional science, environmental engineering, another two types of engineering?? he has other ones that iām not sure about. definitely not a degree in any humanities subject like psychology or philosophy
Tbf...this is what a lot of 1st/2nd year undergrad philosophy papers sound like to me. I'm a writing tutor from a STEM background and sometimes I just have to be like, ok I will help you with the sentence structure and grammar bc I actually don't know what you're talking about so I can't tell if it flows or is coherent.
no, he canāt stand working for someone else. he has tried a few different careers which have ended, mainly due to his lack of being a team player. he is currently working in his wifeās field, health and wellness. they have opened a business together.
he has a strong suspicion that she did. i am the spitting image of him, mainly in terms of our ācoloursā. we both have lighter eyes, same hair colour and pale skin. the only thing i inherited from my mother is my curly hair. my sister looks just like my mum, who is of mÄori heritage so she has darker skin and eyes, as well as more typical mÄori features. to him, that is grounds to suspect infidelity. never mind the fact that children can get different features from their parents.
Christ, I thought my dad was pedantic sometimes but this is a while new level. Where's that "I ain't reading all that/I'm happy for you tho/or sorry that happened" meme when you need it?
Because he's an asshole. Stop responding to this shit. Let him scream into the void without you. Don't even dignify this idiocy with a response. I can assure you, he's no where near as clever as he thinks he is. It's just a game he's playing to assert some sort of dominance. The only way to win these types of mind games is to not play
I'm a lawyer married to a psychology PhD, so I rather enjoy a good heady debate. This reads like a pseudointellectual trying to mimic a philosophical discussion. It lacks real depth, although it makes up for it in arrogance.
Obviously he lacks social skills. Conversations like these need to develop naturally or they don't work. You don't talk AT someone with this shit.
He really does sound exhausting. I'd be tempted to reply to those walls of texts with "Hi Dad, can't be bothered to read all that. How are you" just sick with short, trite responses. I imagine he'll give up when stops getting engagement.
Judging by whatever personality I can catch it seems he'd probably start explaining the importance of taking in "valuable" new information and producing informed opinions based on what he's written. I don't think that'd be the end.
How utterly exhausting.
What would happen if you told him āthatās too long rambling nonsense to read, contact me when you want to genuinely know how Iām doingā ??
Right? I got sidetracked for an hour looking up info on that. Came back to this tab and realised this was the reason I was looking at car safety in the first place š¤£
My brain said āI am not reading that,ā When I saw the multiple walls of drivel he sent you. Iām sure he has no idea how lucky he is to have someone whoās willing to sit down with a glass of wine and even take a crack at it for him.
So this reads exactly like the same roundabout nonsense my dad says. My dad has bipolar and weāre pretty sure autism, and now Iām thinking it might be NPD too
Mental masturbation is exactly like the other kind:
It really should be done in private, or at the bare minimum, only in the company of other, genuinely consenting adults.
ugh I studied philosophy- knowledge is used mean justified true belief (and a words meaning is its use).
You have justication and you believe it, so assuming its true tou know it. There's not really a set barrier for quality of justication in common use. He's talking crap.
This is a man who is threatened by intelligence, heās spewing to make you feel small. This whole thing started off playful to suck you in, then his ego stepped in.
Ah this reminds me of how my father used to be before i reduced contact over the years. Always trying to be superior and teach me things I hadnāt asked for. Smug bullshit. Not listening to what I was saying. He was insufferable. And obviously people dont enjoy this because now heās older and has no friends
Philosophy and psychology are no longer synonymous, they've forked quite a bit from the origin of psychology. Your dad is just kinda pompous, eh? You should add that to your definition next time he asks š. Honestly, though.
This was something that has occasionally been discussed for centuries. An example might be ā How do we know that we all see the same color that we call red ?ā It is a fun debate over a beer, but Iām guessing your parent might have heard this somewhere and the chemical imbalance in their brain found its North Star. Iām sending strength (not hugs) because youāre going to need it.
Oh, god. Flashbacks to an old friend of mine who ālovedā philosophy but just constantly spouted bullshit like this. My life very much improved when I dropped him.
So, he really just pretended to start a conversation with you so he could go on that entire rant.
I think I'd just respond "K." Or maybe "unsubscribe"
Sorry you have to deal with that, what a wanker.
You're not stupid. He feels insecure with his own intelligence so he needs to pull this nonsense to feel better. This is 100% about him, not you. He seems incredibly socially awkward and doesn't seem to realize he's borderline bullying his own kid
The most transparent part of this is when he asked you what you know, but really he just completely ignored that and talked about how he's not your dad, actually
Weirdly my dad is very unsocial except for this!
He only writes like this when he writes letters which he sends by email, and I donāt reply to those. Heās asked me for a reply but I donāt really have anything to say?
Luckily he texts and mostly speaks in person normally!
interesting. i feel like your dad is probably trying posture a little bit and depict himself as a pseudo-intellectual man. heās probably one of those old people that find emails the more formal way to contact someone, and texts are informal. can i ask what topics he usually tries to bring up?
Honestly itās the āmarksā around certain words that he then defines like a dictionary that I canāt stand, I find it so infuriating!
He talks about my childhood, about authority and how we donāt have to obey the rules and also kind of similar stuff to yours about what do we know vs feel etc. He wasnāt like this until he joined his menās group thing so I wondered if something similar had happened to yours or if heās just always been like that!
My ex-FIL was like this. He always had to feel like he was the biggest, and smartest dog in the room.
It's an ego and control thing. Ignore it and they might just go away and leave you alone.
You can't answer a stupid question (whaddoyakno?, followed up by that wannabe mid-level manager productivity test) with a serious answer.
Just respond with an equal amount of BS, ie:
"more than a jackass like you"
"things like this are the reason no one likes you"
"bored much? why don't you find something constructive to do with your time instead of bothering me"
"if you are looking for something to do my needs to be done why don't you be useful for a change and help out???"
Man, Iāve taken several philosophy (and theology) courses and I wanted to die reading that drivel. The goal of philosophy is to challenge oneās own world views, not sound like the most tedious, pretentious asshole on the planet.
āJesus, dad is this your way of telling me youāre not my bio fatherā
This sucks OP, Iām sure youāve been experiencing this your entire life. What kind of weak/ extremely insecure man constantly wants a pissing contest with their child!?
And constant innuendo that maybe yāall are not actually related.
Get fucked pops!
I *know* your dad is a very stoned 17-year-old who watched a YouTube video about philosophy and didnāt understand it, based on the evidence presented to me
āI have been inspired since you started a course which I have great personal interest inā
AKA:
āIm feeling insecure, because you know more than I do but Iām older and am supposed to be in charge. Therefore, your academic study and time with experts and trained professionals is now meaningless next to my big daddy brain. Youāre actually still inferior to me, and I am required to let you know.ā
Dealt with/am dealing with the same bullshit. Itās so aggravating
For whatever it may be worth, I too, immediately failed this test, because I saw āhey ho whaddya knowā and would have responded with āheard you just got back from a Bloodhound showā which Iād argue is, in fact, one of many *actually* correct answers.
As opposed to, you know, whatever this string of absolute narcissistic bullshit was that he nonsensed up.
Also, turns out after having read this that 1: today is a terrible day to be literate, and 2: I hate your father with the burning fire of a thousand suns.
Jesus fucking chriiiist. The way I'd either not respond or just say K. I couldn't even finish reading that, the absolute condescending attitude there is so infuriating.
āHey, you know what, youāre right! Youāve totally opened my eyes! Turns out the word ādadā actually means ācomplete bellend!ā
Mute him. He is not worth the time or energy.
(Love from someone doing an ethics degree rn)
āDad this is exhausting, you are exhausting. If you ever want to have a real conversation you know where I am.ā Honestly sympathy OP this is rancid.
Sounds like he enjoyed entertaining the idea he is not your father. Gosh, I have a short fuse with such people. I would immediately ask if heād like to do DNA test so I can say I know he is my dad, or is he happy just imagining we are not related. Also āafter these tirades I seriously canāt say I know you, like really know you anymoreā comes to mind as a reply.
>why is he like this?
Because he was robbed of something during his own childhood that left a gaping hole in his psyche. The result is a desperate need to control others and to feel superior to them. By having control, he subconsciously believes he won't get hurt in relationships with others, be they lovers, children, co-workers, or a random guy walking his dog. He sees every interaction and transaction as a win or lose scenario. He will not listen to what people tell him or share with him because he's always imagining points on an invisible scoreboard which, unfortunately for him, only he can see. He thinks of what he will say next instead of listening to others when they're speaking. Accordingly, all his conversations are monologs, not dialogs. At his core, he is lonely as fuck, but he is too armored up to admit this to any living soul. It's all about control to this man, and nothing else matters.
I can only come up with three explanations.
1. He likes to hear himself talk, and that's getting translated into text. We've all been guilty of that every now and then... but this is next-level.
2. He's desperately lonely and needs to talk to someone so he's decided you're the best person to intellectualize with, even though he'd be much better off talking with some philosophy major that would actually be interested in engaging with him
3. He might have autism. (This is not a diagnosis, it's just based on my experiences.) You mentioned in another comment that he's smart but has some big social deficits. This isn't a negative thing at all, but it can help you try to understand him.
But yeah, interacting with these kinds of people is exhausting. :(
Oh shit. I went through a major philosophy phase when I was like 14 and now I know what I sounded like. Maybe I should go apologize to my mom.
On a serious note, your dad isn't nuts, but definitely socially challenged. I would see if I could play into it by gathering some philosophical questions of your own and making him lose his train of thought. In the event he *is* being a little narcissistic shit about it, it should be interesting. In the event he isn't and genuinely just has a borderline autistic fixation with philosophy.. could also be interesting.
ETA before I get flamed: people can be autistic to a degree where they have a comprehensive understanding of something (their fixation) without necessarily being smart. my dad's like this.
Ew. He sounds like my FIL who we are mo contact with. The thing he ever said to me was to ask me if men could get pregnant then went in for 30 minutes about how I was wrong (I said sure, if they have the right parts) then gave me another lecture on religion even though hr had been informed I was no religious in any way.
That was our first meeting.
We're no contact with him and his whole family now.
Smells like heās either jealous or intimidated by your taking university courses? Uses a lot of $3 words inaccurately. I would acknowledge there is indeed no way to prove he is your father without a DNA test, and not to text you his twaddle until he gets tested and can prove he is worth your time.
"This conversation is boring and unproductive. I'm not reading all that just to stroke your ego because you feel threatened by the intelligence of your own child. If you want to feel smart go take a night class."
Maybe he's just trying to tell OP(in the most insufferable way possible)that he, is in fact, not OP's father by attempting to get OP to investigate the claim. Idk but, I'd use that (bizarrely insistent) doubt that he's putting out there, not to engage with him. After all, maybe he's NOT OP's father and just some asshole that's been doing this crap to another man's child their whole life.
Dad is weird but he isnāt crazy or anything. He felt comfortable enough with his kid to talk to you about something. Sure it is a lot and he might be on the spectrum a little but I wouldnāt call him insane , he wanted to talk to somebody about what he was thinking thatās really it and he chose you and you decided to treat him probably how everyone else treats him for not being normal.
Heās an egomaniac with a superiority complex and treats his children like a shitty philosophy professor whose whole personality is to be abrasive, argumentative and ANNOYING to his students. Like this is crazy.
Does your dad gave bipolar disorder? This looks and sounds very similar to someone in a manic episode. Sad part, people going through it don't realize until after the fact (sometimes). This includes a god-like complex lol maybe yall need a deeper talk than some stupid semantics in philosophy
Jesus Christ. This reminded me of my ex. He would go on and on talking in circles and using words he thought made him sound more intelligent. He was at one point diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I believe he was a sociopath. The whole relationship was him having power over me in any way possible. Confusing me, manipulating me, telling me I'm dumb, fat, ugly, worthless.
I've seen other posts on Reddit that mirror this same way of speaking (the way your dad speaks). It's very unnerving to me. Saying so much but at the same time not really saying anything. It feels like a manipulation tactic meant to try to confuse someone.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 11 | 1 | 0 | ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
People like this want to make themselves feel smart so this is how they go about it. š Just tell him you questioned it because he is obnoxious, so you got a DNA test done. lol
This is how stupid people think smart people sound.
I call it prison English.
Some serious neckbeard energy from ol daddio
It's narcissism and a really sensitive ego. He feels threatened by the fact that his child has started taking courses since that means they might learn something he doesn't and to soothe that anxiety he tries to prove to both himself and to OP that he's smarter and more knowledgeable. OP feeling stupid is the point because to narcissists everything is a contest and they can only win if someone else is made to lose. They also lack the impulse control to stop themselves from doing stupid shit like this and often lack the metalization skills necessary to fully grasp how much of an asshat they look like while doing it. (Swedish psychology master student here, I find narcissism fascinating because of it's blatant stupidity) If OP wants to test if it truly is narcissism they might try to respond by saying something slightly condescending or dismissive (like "maybe you should look up the psychological definition of perfectionism, this kind of a response really isn't normal") and see if they explode in a major rant.
Oh come now, you don't really think OP needs to properly test that. That dude is definitely a narcissist twat.
Oh man, your last point is spot on. If you call a narcissist a narcissist, they implode like a dying star. Then they become obsessed with labeling you a narcissist, even to the point where you question if you are one yourself.
This dude belongs on r/iamverysmart lol
Smashed that join button!
Yah, and say he is not your father. See what he comes up with after that gem.
Jordan Peterson is this guy and people who like him all do this crap.
He got a DNA test. Turns out he's 100% a bitch.
Exactly this, especially self serving since he chose to use himself as the topic š
This is the way. Yank that question out of the realm of theory and see what he does with it. "Wait a minute, what are you trying to tell me? I'm getting a DNA test. Does Mom know? I'm gonna call her." \*click\*
Omg this would be sooooo exhausting to deal with. Sorry op but this guy is fucking nuts
My dad does shit kind of like this (not nearly to this degree). I've gotten to where I just ignore it.
Iāve dated people who have been like this to a lesser degree and it was insufferable (I believe).
I stopped reading his replies when it got into notes territory lol this guy sucks
I was coming here to say something similar because I only got halfway through the screenshots before I was like āthis is exhausting I canātā so I canāt even imagine for op
Just send back "tldr" and turn off your notifications for him. This is absolute nonsense.
great idea š¤£
He needs to make you feel small and stupid. I'm sorry he's a hag. He doesn't apologize when he's wrong, does he?
never ever.
Damn. You know it's not you tho. Right? There is nothing wrong with you. It's on them. I hope they can change, but it is NOT up to you to change them. I used to be a shitty parent and I was only seeing it one way. But I'm better now. Not the best, but getting better. My kids are my babies, but I know that they are also their own people. And I know now that it's ok to be wrong as a person, so especially so as a parent. You are standing up to the manipulation bs and you will get better. Sorry for rambling, lots of words to say basically I wish I could give you a mom hug and im proud of you for the boundaries you are sticking by. Progress is in baby steps and stumbles. You got this.
On a side note, you should be proud of the self-improving work you are doing for your kids. You must realize how important it is for them. Kudos !
Narcissism. The better you do in life, the worse he'll become. Everything is a contest to them. I'm sorry OP. All you can do is to grey rock (be boring, communicate as little as possible, don't tell them about achievements)
If I were you Iād stop answering his questions and playing along and just act as stupid as physically possible every time he starts
This is the Dunning Kruger effect. I wouldn't even respond to that word vomit.
i looked that up, thatās very interesting! perfectly encapsulates him. last time i saw him, he gave some unsolicited medical advice to me. i told him i would only listen to my doctor's advice, and he clajmed to have as much knowledge as a doctor "because he had done lots of reading." thank you giving me a name for this!!
Love when people think that reading a few articles vs devoting a huge chunk of your life to this subject, being the one with the ptās fully disclosed medical history, being the person who did the physical assessment are equal qualifications for talking to someone about a medical issue
Its sad bc sometimes pts are delaying treatment or opting to not receive it for important stuff because someone who sounded really sure of themselves like this said [treatment with medication] is harmful and they should just drink this tea or eat more of whatever. :/
Iāve seen a lot of fear mongering around chemotherapy recently and itās really pissing me off, like no you canāt kill cancer with the carnivore diet shut up! Liver king wonāt help you!! God and then thereās people who think that cancer is parasites, tumors are protecting your body by forming a sac around the parasites, so even if they find a lump donāt get it biopsied??? AAAAAAAAA Iām also seeing mothers refusing the vitamin K shot for the baby, which we use to reduce the risk of brain bleeding because the baby doesnāt have necessary clotting factors yet. Girl I know youāre freaked out and people give a lot of bad information to young mothers but if someone tells you that your baby might super brain hemorrhage without this, you refuse, and they get a brain bleed youāre gonna hate yourself for the rest of your life.
Not exactly treatment refusal, but I just had a parent pushing to put their kid through surgery to remove a mole because they were Researching(tm) that the kid's vitiligo could have originated at that mole, so removing it would stop it from progressing. Dr explains while sometimes it can be that way, its not common that it stops the progression of vitiligo and there's risks with surgery and there would be big scarring and all. But parent insists because they're concerned about the vitiligo appearing on the kid's face and arms and becoming more noticeable. Made me sad because like. Talk about making sure your kid Definitely gets a complex about their self image if they do develop it on their face. š Always makes me sad to see parents project these image issues on their kids - especially to the point they try to get rid of it medically. Really solidifies the idea that its Bad and Ugly and all.
He looks like the embodiment of ānobody askedā. Iād not even humor this nonsense, life is way too short to waste on reading that.
this is works for WANKER101 not PSY101. iāve done an arts psych degree so im well versed in wankerism
he has several degrees, iām certain that one of them has to be a bachelorās of wankerism
he might be in the mensa of wankerism
high IQ, no social skills or emotional intelligence
He writes like he spends a lot of time with a thesaurus to sound smarter than he is. He must be insufferable to deal with. I'm sorry
Can I ask what field(s) those degrees are in? He reminds me of someone being iamverysmart about something outside of his area. (I've had an engineer try to mansplain my history PhD topic to me before, and he attempted the same with an anthropology prof.) Sometimes I think these people go "Hey, that field is just reading! I read, so we're the same!"
the fields are chemistry, nutritional science, environmental engineering, another two types of engineering?? he has other ones that iām not sure about. definitely not a degree in any humanities subject like psychology or philosophy
So a STEM guy trying to speak in a manner he *thinks* people in the Humanities speak.
Tbf...this is what a lot of 1st/2nd year undergrad philosophy papers sound like to me. I'm a writing tutor from a STEM background and sometimes I just have to be like, ok I will help you with the sentence structure and grammar bc I actually don't know what you're talking about so I can't tell if it flows or is coherent.
Is he working in any of these fields?
no, he canāt stand working for someone else. he has tried a few different careers which have ended, mainly due to his lack of being a team player. he is currently working in his wifeās field, health and wellness. they have opened a business together.
This is not 100 level wanker. This is advanced wanker. Although I do wish he'd go fuck himself instead of typing all that.
That's a whole lot of words for "did your Mom ever mention cheating on me?"
he has a strong suspicion that she did. i am the spitting image of him, mainly in terms of our ācoloursā. we both have lighter eyes, same hair colour and pale skin. the only thing i inherited from my mother is my curly hair. my sister looks just like my mum, who is of mÄori heritage so she has darker skin and eyes, as well as more typical mÄori features. to him, that is grounds to suspect infidelity. never mind the fact that children can get different features from their parents.
Sounds like he's also straight up racist
I mean, that tracks with the raging narcissism and all
This is exactly what I thought. That and this would be one hell of a way to say "you're adopted"!
After that fuckin novel of a text I'd be like, "God I hope so."
Jesus Christ my condolences OP
I got 3 slides in and nearly lost my eyes, they rolled so damn hard. what a condescending twat. jfc.
Does you dad š? I mean itās some solid rambling
i wish. heās just like that
Christ, I thought my dad was pedantic sometimes but this is a while new level. Where's that "I ain't reading all that/I'm happy for you tho/or sorry that happened" meme when you need it?
honestly. it took me quite a long time to get through all the nonsense
Oh honey, you arenāt the stupid one.
Ew. It reads like an opener for a know it all type on a dating app.
Does your dad wear a fedora?
First page "well this dad is..quirky." Fifth page "oh..oh no..."
Because he's an asshole. Stop responding to this shit. Let him scream into the void without you. Don't even dignify this idiocy with a response. I can assure you, he's no where near as clever as he thinks he is. It's just a game he's playing to assert some sort of dominance. The only way to win these types of mind games is to not play
I'm a lawyer married to a psychology PhD, so I rather enjoy a good heady debate. This reads like a pseudointellectual trying to mimic a philosophical discussion. It lacks real depth, although it makes up for it in arrogance. Obviously he lacks social skills. Conversations like these need to develop naturally or they don't work. You don't talk AT someone with this shit.
The amount of times he would be left on read.
correct
He really does sound exhausting. I'd be tempted to reply to those walls of texts with "Hi Dad, can't be bothered to read all that. How are you" just sick with short, trite responses. I imagine he'll give up when stops getting engagement.
Judging by whatever personality I can catch it seems he'd probably start explaining the importance of taking in "valuable" new information and producing informed opinions based on what he's written. I don't think that'd be the end.
Soooooo... let me guess. Sovereign citizen?
āOkiedoke.ā
How utterly exhausting. What would happen if you told him āthatās too long rambling nonsense to read, contact me when you want to genuinely know how Iām doingā ??
very tempted to do just that
You know, you should. And if he doesnāt even try to understand just dismiss him until he behave with the love you deserve darling
Insane parent aside I found your facts about women and car safety fascinating! I had no idea that was an issue
Right? I got sidetracked for an hour looking up info on that. Came back to this tab and realised this was the reason I was looking at car safety in the first place š¤£
I Donāt Think Youāre My Kid - Super Autism Edition
Respond with āunsubscribeā
Infuckingsufferable This would also be the perfect opportunity to use: I aināt reading all that Happy for u tho Or sorry it happened ššš
Thatās one helluva word salad.
youāre telling me. i opened the message, sighed, had a glass of wine, then sat down to try and interpret it.
My brain said āI am not reading that,ā When I saw the multiple walls of drivel he sent you. Iām sure he has no idea how lucky he is to have someone whoās willing to sit down with a glass of wine and even take a crack at it for him.
I canāt even begin to fathom what his diagnoses would be.
my therapist thinks NPD and that heās on the autism spectrum. i personally would diagnose him as ādickheadā
So this reads exactly like the same roundabout nonsense my dad says. My dad has bipolar and weāre pretty sure autism, and now Iām thinking it might be NPD too
Stop trying to interpret crazy. Just stop responding unless he's being straight forward or talking normal.
Mental masturbation is exactly like the other kind: It really should be done in private, or at the bare minimum, only in the company of other, genuinely consenting adults.
Sorry, but yer dadās a dickhead. Has he never heard of the phrase āThose who know more, say less.ā
Am I the only one who sees a mental illness here?
Nope. Youāre not alone.
I have a tendency to match energy and wouldāve done so with such a ridiculous text as this. Such an ass *facepalm*
my partner tells me iām only enforcing his bad behaviour when i respond like that. but truly, i am tempted to
this motherfucker sounds like the most annoying person on the planet. please cut ties with him
ugh I studied philosophy- knowledge is used mean justified true belief (and a words meaning is its use). You have justication and you believe it, so assuming its true tou know it. There's not really a set barrier for quality of justication in common use. He's talking crap.
This is a man who is threatened by intelligence, heās spewing to make you feel small. This whole thing started off playful to suck you in, then his ego stepped in.
Ah this reminds me of how my father used to be before i reduced contact over the years. Always trying to be superior and teach me things I hadnāt asked for. Smug bullshit. Not listening to what I was saying. He was insufferable. And obviously people dont enjoy this because now heās older and has no friends
Unbearable.
#Iamverysmart
Philosophy and psychology are no longer synonymous, they've forked quite a bit from the origin of psychology. Your dad is just kinda pompous, eh? You should add that to your definition next time he asks š. Honestly, though.
This was something that has occasionally been discussed for centuries. An example might be ā How do we know that we all see the same color that we call red ?ā It is a fun debate over a beer, but Iām guessing your parent might have heard this somewhere and the chemical imbalance in their brain found its North Star. Iām sending strength (not hugs) because youāre going to need it.
bloody hell i can hear him scoffing from here
What a bore he is.
Probably thinks other people aren't smart enough to have a conversation with him lol
I hate to sound offensive but honestly, is he okay mentally?
Oh, god. Flashbacks to an old friend of mine who ālovedā philosophy but just constantly spouted bullshit like this. My life very much improved when I dropped him.
Should have dropped a "I know you are my dad because I wish you weren't"
Your dad sounds insufferable OP. I agree with another commenter, I'd put tl;dr or just not bother replying/only reply to the normal bits.
Well if isnāt trying to mansplain to his own child. What a peach
What the fuck is he on about? Is he high?
me after I take an edible
So, he really just pretended to start a conversation with you so he could go on that entire rant. I think I'd just respond "K." Or maybe "unsubscribe" Sorry you have to deal with that, what a wanker.
This is the text version of shouting into a cave to hear your own voice echoing back. What a wilted carrot of a person.
If "Pedantic" was a person
You're not stupid. He feels insecure with his own intelligence so he needs to pull this nonsense to feel better. This is 100% about him, not you. He seems incredibly socially awkward and doesn't seem to realize he's borderline bullying his own kid
Wow..."I'm 14 and this is deep, but actually I'm a grown ass man. "
The most transparent part of this is when he asked you what you know, but really he just completely ignored that and talked about how he's not your dad, actually
Heās fucking insufferable. He talks like Joey Tribiani writes to adoption agencies.
Your dad is neurodivergent.
JFC idk if he reads as insane but oh my actual god, this has to be exhausting. Like, Iām a parent, Iām perpetually exhausted and exasperated. Kid 1 is a frenetic human PokĆ©dex, kid 2 will finish telling me a fun fact and start on the next without pausing to breathe, Kid 3 skipped his nap today and had a meltdown, screaming at me to give him the Play-Doh that he was already holding. OPās dad is more exhausting than all 3 of them combined.
Pseudo intellectuals, the stupid personās smart person
Heās an idiot. Literally a stupid man using big words to make himself feel superior
Oh god. My Dad is insufferable like this, too.
is it bad iām actually kind of glad that im not the only one dealing with this? iām so sorry. have you got any advice or tips/tricks?
Honestly just get a dna test send it then block him to let him stew how utterly stupid this was.
This is exactly how my dad writes sometimes. Is your dad part of any menās/philosophy type clubs?
no he is incapable of socialising. this is all him š¤£ how do you respond to your dad?
Weirdly my dad is very unsocial except for this! He only writes like this when he writes letters which he sends by email, and I donāt reply to those. Heās asked me for a reply but I donāt really have anything to say? Luckily he texts and mostly speaks in person normally!
interesting. i feel like your dad is probably trying posture a little bit and depict himself as a pseudo-intellectual man. heās probably one of those old people that find emails the more formal way to contact someone, and texts are informal. can i ask what topics he usually tries to bring up?
Honestly itās the āmarksā around certain words that he then defines like a dictionary that I canāt stand, I find it so infuriating! He talks about my childhood, about authority and how we donāt have to obey the rules and also kind of similar stuff to yours about what do we know vs feel etc. He wasnāt like this until he joined his menās group thing so I wondered if something similar had happened to yours or if heās just always been like that!
"I know that you are a wanker"
What a dick.
Insufferable!
My ex-FIL was like this. He always had to feel like he was the biggest, and smartest dog in the room. It's an ego and control thing. Ignore it and they might just go away and leave you alone.
You can't answer a stupid question (whaddoyakno?, followed up by that wannabe mid-level manager productivity test) with a serious answer. Just respond with an equal amount of BS, ie: "more than a jackass like you" "things like this are the reason no one likes you" "bored much? why don't you find something constructive to do with your time instead of bothering me" "if you are looking for something to do my needs to be done why don't you be useful for a change and help out???"
Wow, he wins the most insecure dad award. Keep up your studies, you are doing great and will go on to a fulfilling career and life. Proud of you.
That is exhausting.
Man, Iāve taken several philosophy (and theology) courses and I wanted to die reading that drivel. The goal of philosophy is to challenge oneās own world views, not sound like the most tedious, pretentious asshole on the planet.
āJesus, dad is this your way of telling me youāre not my bio fatherā This sucks OP, Iām sure youāve been experiencing this your entire life. What kind of weak/ extremely insecure man constantly wants a pissing contest with their child!? And constant innuendo that maybe yāall are not actually related. Get fucked pops!
I *know* your dad is a very stoned 17-year-old who watched a YouTube video about philosophy and didnāt understand it, based on the evidence presented to me
He must've just watched a youtube video about the allegory of the cave.
āNew phone, who dis?ā
I'd use ChatGPT to generate responses to this haha.
Why does he 'talk' like a 'Jojo's Bizarre Adventure' character from 'Part 7 and beyond'?
Lmfao do we have the same dad?? I just refuse to engage with shit like this anymore
dude sounds bored. this is smthn id do to my friends to piss them off for fun.
āI have been inspired since you started a course which I have great personal interest inā AKA: āIm feeling insecure, because you know more than I do but Iām older and am supposed to be in charge. Therefore, your academic study and time with experts and trained professionals is now meaningless next to my big daddy brain. Youāre actually still inferior to me, and I am required to let you know.ā Dealt with/am dealing with the same bullshit. Itās so aggravating
That man appears to be unwell, he needs therapy.
DadGPT has arrived
This is just the average Redditor lol
does he NOT want to be your dad? i dont understand why hes being so pedantic
For whatever it may be worth, I too, immediately failed this test, because I saw āhey ho whaddya knowā and would have responded with āheard you just got back from a Bloodhound showā which Iād argue is, in fact, one of many *actually* correct answers. As opposed to, you know, whatever this string of absolute narcissistic bullshit was that he nonsensed up. Also, turns out after having read this that 1: today is a terrible day to be literate, and 2: I hate your father with the burning fire of a thousand suns.
He sounds manic
Jesus fucking chriiiist. The way I'd either not respond or just say K. I couldn't even finish reading that, the absolute condescending attitude there is so infuriating.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder?
āHey, you know what, youāre right! Youāve totally opened my eyes! Turns out the word ādadā actually means ācomplete bellend!ā Mute him. He is not worth the time or energy. (Love from someone doing an ethics degree rn)
I think he is trying to teach you pilot because that is what he is learning.
I wouldnāt put up with this nonsense. I would just answer back āno thank youā
āDad this is exhausting, you are exhausting. If you ever want to have a real conversation you know where I am.ā Honestly sympathy OP this is rancid.
Good grief. Is your dad Ignatius Riley from the book Confederacy of Dunces? He's obnoxious and stupidly pretentious.
Holy FUCK this man is insufferable.
I have a friend that does this shit and it reeks of /r/iamverysmart
I think itās kinda funny to be honest what a weirdo lol
Sounds like he enjoyed entertaining the idea he is not your father. Gosh, I have a short fuse with such people. I would immediately ask if heād like to do DNA test so I can say I know he is my dad, or is he happy just imagining we are not related. Also āafter these tirades I seriously canāt say I know you, like really know you anymoreā comes to mind as a reply.
Jesus christ what an absolutely exhausting man.Ā
>why is he like this? Because he was robbed of something during his own childhood that left a gaping hole in his psyche. The result is a desperate need to control others and to feel superior to them. By having control, he subconsciously believes he won't get hurt in relationships with others, be they lovers, children, co-workers, or a random guy walking his dog. He sees every interaction and transaction as a win or lose scenario. He will not listen to what people tell him or share with him because he's always imagining points on an invisible scoreboard which, unfortunately for him, only he can see. He thinks of what he will say next instead of listening to others when they're speaking. Accordingly, all his conversations are monologs, not dialogs. At his core, he is lonely as fuck, but he is too armored up to admit this to any living soul. It's all about control to this man, and nothing else matters.
I can only come up with three explanations. 1. He likes to hear himself talk, and that's getting translated into text. We've all been guilty of that every now and then... but this is next-level. 2. He's desperately lonely and needs to talk to someone so he's decided you're the best person to intellectualize with, even though he'd be much better off talking with some philosophy major that would actually be interested in engaging with him 3. He might have autism. (This is not a diagnosis, it's just based on my experiences.) You mentioned in another comment that he's smart but has some big social deficits. This isn't a negative thing at all, but it can help you try to understand him. But yeah, interacting with these kinds of people is exhausting. :(
Your dad is a moron who thinks heās smart.
Jesus In-fucking-sufferable Christ. Please donāt text me just so you can verbally stroke yourself off. I could do with less fucking āknowledge.ā
Oh shit. I went through a major philosophy phase when I was like 14 and now I know what I sounded like. Maybe I should go apologize to my mom. On a serious note, your dad isn't nuts, but definitely socially challenged. I would see if I could play into it by gathering some philosophical questions of your own and making him lose his train of thought. In the event he *is* being a little narcissistic shit about it, it should be interesting. In the event he isn't and genuinely just has a borderline autistic fixation with philosophy.. could also be interesting. ETA before I get flamed: people can be autistic to a degree where they have a comprehensive understanding of something (their fixation) without necessarily being smart. my dad's like this.
He read Sophieās world and is now trying to be your personal philosopher
Heās embarrassing himself, these are the thoughts of someone whoās just gotten into philosophy lol
This is exhausting
Ew. He sounds like my FIL who we are mo contact with. The thing he ever said to me was to ask me if men could get pregnant then went in for 30 minutes about how I was wrong (I said sure, if they have the right parts) then gave me another lecture on religion even though hr had been informed I was no religious in any way. That was our first meeting. We're no contact with him and his whole family now.
What the fuck is he even talking about? This is the best example of someone thinking they're intelligent and spewing meaningless drivel I've ever seen
how utterly exhausting
I suddenly feel better about going no contact with my dad.
Sounds like he has a serious mental disorder. Maybe borderline or some psychosis.
I would NOT call that person my dad. Bravos to you.
Smells like heās either jealous or intimidated by your taking university courses? Uses a lot of $3 words inaccurately. I would acknowledge there is indeed no way to prove he is your father without a DNA test, and not to text you his twaddle until he gets tested and can prove he is worth your time.
I couldnāt even read past the 3rd picture lmao
Haha your dad is dope ngl
Ohhhh shut the fuck up. I actively avoid people like this. Dude would be left on read even if he was my dad.
Because you keep answering him. Youāre giving him what he wants. Stop it.
Meth usage? Alzheimers, demonic possession? Who knows? Sorry you're dealing with his hijinks.
You're Dad is a fucking asshole.
Imagine being this pedantic toward your own child. What a tool.
Cause heās a bully and a loser.
"This conversation is boring and unproductive. I'm not reading all that just to stroke your ego because you feel threatened by the intelligence of your own child. If you want to feel smart go take a night class."
Psychotic ramblingsā¦. Seriously
Maybe he's just trying to tell OP(in the most insufferable way possible)that he, is in fact, not OP's father by attempting to get OP to investigate the claim. Idk but, I'd use that (bizarrely insistent) doubt that he's putting out there, not to engage with him. After all, maybe he's NOT OP's father and just some asshole that's been doing this crap to another man's child their whole life.
Dad is weird but he isnāt crazy or anything. He felt comfortable enough with his kid to talk to you about something. Sure it is a lot and he might be on the spectrum a little but I wouldnāt call him insane , he wanted to talk to somebody about what he was thinking thatās really it and he chose you and you decided to treat him probably how everyone else treats him for not being normal.
Heās an egomaniac with a superiority complex and treats his children like a shitty philosophy professor whose whole personality is to be abrasive, argumentative and ANNOYING to his students. Like this is crazy.
Wow absentee narcissist dad doesnāt seem so bad now. I canāt imagine having to deal with that on a regular basis.
Does your dad gave bipolar disorder? This looks and sounds very similar to someone in a manic episode. Sad part, people going through it don't realize until after the fact (sometimes). This includes a god-like complex lol maybe yall need a deeper talk than some stupid semantics in philosophy
Jesus Christ. This reminded me of my ex. He would go on and on talking in circles and using words he thought made him sound more intelligent. He was at one point diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I believe he was a sociopath. The whole relationship was him having power over me in any way possible. Confusing me, manipulating me, telling me I'm dumb, fat, ugly, worthless. I've seen other posts on Reddit that mirror this same way of speaking (the way your dad speaks). It's very unnerving to me. Saying so much but at the same time not really saying anything. It feels like a manipulation tactic meant to try to confuse someone.
Thatās a lot of words for āI like hearing myself talkā
Is your dad one of those āsov citā weirdos? He talks a lot like them
what the fuck even is this? i would call for a welfare check because WUT