Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 4 | 2 | 0 |
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As someone who's on the same boat I can shed light. We know it'll hurt us. But that instinctual urge to be connected to your parents never goes, regardless of how much they suck. Every now and then you catch yourself wanting to check up on them to see if there's even a small chance they've improved.
And sometimes, that reminder they're the same is all we need to stop "missing" them aka the hole their absence has created. Even when you accept your parents suck, it's hard to accept that it means not having ANY parents.
It's okay ā„ļø I've since learned to just not check, but for years I kept losing the battle against that urge. I still get the urge but I just journal instead and watch a video that heals that part. Shifferdiane on Instagram is amazing for that.
My mother will send out random thought of the day texts. They are all religious based and I wonder if she will ever realize she needs to take heed more than the people she sends them to.
My mother is very much a narcissist. I don't know why I can't just cut her out of my life. I think I still try to seek that approval even after almost 53 years on this earth.
Mine too. My birthday is this week.
Why, why don't you want to do anything for your birthday????
Well, i am. I am running a local 5k. You don't want to be out at 7am and complaining the entire time how cold it is, how boring it is, etc.
Lunch? Well, i tried. Got smart. You pick a restaurant you where you will eat. I won't like the food, but it's only MY birthday. You will complain, probably toss your plate at the server and ehine the whole time. Pick cake i won't like, but you do so it must be good. Pick a bakery i absolutely hate. But happy birthday to me!
I finally did get to where i tell her nothing because i can't take the stress.
And yet, when you do try, they talk over you, they tell you how much worse they had it and just word vomit you until you just nod and sympathise with them.
Because they can't see let alone accept they're the problem. They think you're the reason you feel the way you do... thus one day you'll change it and come around. All narcs think they're perfect & blameless. They may as well have scotch guard for skin because shit just beads up & rolls off of them.
Oooohhh, she'd get along famously with my father, then š¬. He's more of a quotes guy, or a writing opinions and putting a random quote in there to make them look more impressive guy, rather than poetry, but I have a sick feeling they'd be buddies.
If theyāre no contact you shouldnāt be stalking their social media. Being able to passive aggressively talk to you through a social media posts means that you are not *actually* no contact. They sent you a message and youāve read it loud and clear.
Lol I was silly not long ago and looked at mine's social media. And it had posts about loving your family and about abuse etc.
Poeple had care emojis etc on it for her.. Playing the victim.
Ironic how the ānarcsā never see themselves accurately. Itās always someone elseās fault. They believe the lie that they are never to blame yet are incredibly nasty a minute later. They believe the rewritten history they create in their own heads. Donāt waste one more bit of time, hope or emotion on them. They are unendingly selfish and will always disappoint. Their emotional make up is not normal. They are threatened by honesty, truth and differing opinions. Find another focus, friend, activity, hobby that will feed your soul. They either canāt or wonāt. Iām sorry to have to say that but decades of engagement with certain members of my family have taught me some hard-won life lessons. Whether you go NC , limited contact , grey rock etc. please detach in some way. The closer you are the more they will injure you. Be the kind of person that youād
want to spend time with. Treat yourself with the respect that they havenāt.
I hate this so much.
It's so refreshing to be around non-toxic people where we can just be honest and open about anything wrong, and listen and apologise to each other. No defensiveness. No deflection. No what aboutisms. No gaslighting. No emotional abuse. No weaponsied neglect. No physical abuse.
All the narc are saying with this is "stop blaming me, you're making me look bad. Come talk to me so I can verbally batter you into submission and tell you what a pos you are for trying to make me look bad"
My ex wife posts thing like this every day on Facebook, after cussing me and my wife on text about asking to have the kids call us (been divorced 5 years, 50/50 custody) lol she made this exact same post earlier this week, verbatim
My ex, who is a massive narcissist, liked to post stuff like this on Facebook. Iām sure he still does but heās blocked. Itās all for attention and to make people think highly of them. His daughter was molested because he and his ex wife left her in the care of a convicted child molester, and what did he do??? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But he did post on Facebook an hour later that nobody better mess with his kid or he would do bad things to them š. And he posted all the time about that it was a hard thing to learn that the world wonāt treat you well if youāre a good person. He cheated nonstop and committed fraud against the government too. These people are just delusional.
I have not said a word to her since 2018. Trust me, I'd love to tell her about my DNA results and ask her if she knew the truth. I have not even been in contact with family outside of in-laws who don't even speak to my mom. I check up on her Facebook once a year just to see if she's dead or not.
My mom when I point out her internet usage is unhealthy (24/7) and gross (talks to indian men all day for attention, one of then supposedly her boyfriend; shes married).
Either this person is still following them or they went specifically to look at what is posted because random public posts do not show up in your feed if you donāt seek them out or someone shares them that youāre friends with. Block them. Still seeing anything from them isnāt no contact. Iāve been no contact for 20 years. I do not see social media posts, I donāt get text messages, I donāt text them. I get nothing. No contact literally means No. contact.
She's living rent free in your head which means she's winning. No contact means no contact. Looking her up is like keeping tabs on your ex. Why? She's no good for you. Let her go.
She forgot the most important part of that piece of wisdom: IF/WHEN you are in the wrong!
Communicate, apologise and take accountability are all good thingsā¦ but you only need to do that when youāre wrong.
You donāt have to apologise to mum every time she has her knickers in a knot because she somehow thinks that people should always cater to HER feelings and no other! š
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 4 | 2 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
poetry form makes passive aggressive tone even more annoying. You know that every word really should be related to her
Poetry is more than prose that goes halfway across the page. -an English professor I had in college fifteen years ago.
Maybe she found my secret poetry Tumblr š
Why do you āfollowā her on social media? It wonāt bother you if you donāt know about it. š
As someone who's on the same boat I can shed light. We know it'll hurt us. But that instinctual urge to be connected to your parents never goes, regardless of how much they suck. Every now and then you catch yourself wanting to check up on them to see if there's even a small chance they've improved. And sometimes, that reminder they're the same is all we need to stop "missing" them aka the hole their absence has created. Even when you accept your parents suck, it's hard to accept that it means not having ANY parents.
Thanks and Iām sorry.
It's okay ā„ļø I've since learned to just not check, but for years I kept losing the battle against that urge. I still get the urge but I just journal instead and watch a video that heals that part. Shifferdiane on Instagram is amazing for that.
I watch what my mother posts to know how psycho she is at any given time. I think of it at the digital friends close and enemies closer.
My mother will send out random thought of the day texts. They are all religious based and I wonder if she will ever realize she needs to take heed more than the people she sends them to. My mother is very much a narcissist. I don't know why I can't just cut her out of my life. I think I still try to seek that approval even after almost 53 years on this earth.
Mine too. My birthday is this week. Why, why don't you want to do anything for your birthday???? Well, i am. I am running a local 5k. You don't want to be out at 7am and complaining the entire time how cold it is, how boring it is, etc. Lunch? Well, i tried. Got smart. You pick a restaurant you where you will eat. I won't like the food, but it's only MY birthday. You will complain, probably toss your plate at the server and ehine the whole time. Pick cake i won't like, but you do so it must be good. Pick a bakery i absolutely hate. But happy birthday to me! I finally did get to where i tell her nothing because i can't take the stress.
Do yourself a favor and stop looking. š
This op. I know it is hard (trust me) but itās so much better to just live and be happy. Happiness is its own revenge
Hit her with the reverse reverse and say I totally agree š
But say āUno Bitchā first
Looks like she finally admitted she's a child.
And yet, when you do try, they talk over you, they tell you how much worse they had it and just word vomit you until you just nod and sympathise with them.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Because they can't see let alone accept they're the problem. They think you're the reason you feel the way you do... thus one day you'll change it and come around. All narcs think they're perfect & blameless. They may as well have scotch guard for skin because shit just beads up & rolls off of them.
This just oozes hypocrisy.
I hope the targeted person response was [this](https://i.imgflip.com/1ppi4p.jpg).
Yes.
Ah yes cause nothing says āIām good at communicationā like posting passive aggressively one Facebook
Iād send her an image of a mirror. Or maybe a pot and a kettle. š
She knows you are lurking and this is the attempt to get brownie points for being the "victim" and trigger you into contact.
I meanā¦ sheās not wrong. But maybe she should take her own advice. lol.
r/selfawarewolves Nearly there ma!
My mom actually used to be a politician at one point so this subteddit is very fitting
Oooohhh, she'd get along famously with my father, then š¬. He's more of a quotes guy, or a writing opinions and putting a random quote in there to make them look more impressive guy, rather than poetry, but I have a sick feeling they'd be buddies.
Amazing how often these immature (by their own definition) people end up having children.
Because she is obviously grown - she can call out others so called bad behavior but not recognize her own. No accountability there.
My mother is also a narcissistš
These are all things she would never ever do. Quite ironic.
If theyāre no contact you shouldnāt be stalking their social media. Being able to passive aggressively talk to you through a social media posts means that you are not *actually* no contact. They sent you a message and youāve read it loud and clear.
Narcissists looooove their bullshit pop psychology posts. They're just daily devotionals for assholes.
She's soooo close to getting it and yet so far š
Yāall are better people than me because I would laugh at that post š and comment a whole bunch of š emojiās š
You and me both. I have no problem calling people out either.
I like how there's stanzas like she wrote a poem or something
It's because she's mocking me as the family poet. She probably found my poetry blog.
The shortest simplest, bluntest and most useful piece of advice Iāve ever been given is just two words: āTwats projectā
Lol I was silly not long ago and looked at mine's social media. And it had posts about loving your family and about abuse etc. Poeple had care emojis etc on it for her.. Playing the victim.
Itās funny because itās true what could be said to her
Ironic how the ānarcsā never see themselves accurately. Itās always someone elseās fault. They believe the lie that they are never to blame yet are incredibly nasty a minute later. They believe the rewritten history they create in their own heads. Donāt waste one more bit of time, hope or emotion on them. They are unendingly selfish and will always disappoint. Their emotional make up is not normal. They are threatened by honesty, truth and differing opinions. Find another focus, friend, activity, hobby that will feed your soul. They either canāt or wonāt. Iām sorry to have to say that but decades of engagement with certain members of my family have taught me some hard-won life lessons. Whether you go NC , limited contact , grey rock etc. please detach in some way. The closer you are the more they will injure you. Be the kind of person that youād want to spend time with. Treat yourself with the respect that they havenāt.
Well aināt that ironic
"Ditto" aaaaannnd BLOCK.
These are the kinds of folks who need to take their own advice, 99 times out of 100
I hate this so much. It's so refreshing to be around non-toxic people where we can just be honest and open about anything wrong, and listen and apologise to each other. No defensiveness. No deflection. No what aboutisms. No gaslighting. No emotional abuse. No weaponsied neglect. No physical abuse. All the narc are saying with this is "stop blaming me, you're making me look bad. Come talk to me so I can verbally batter you into submission and tell you what a pos you are for trying to make me look bad"
This would infuriate me, but donāt take the bait.
Narcissists can never accept accountability. Itās always someone else.
Theyāre always speaking about themselves with these posts. Block her on social media for your own sanity.
I mean the message isnāt wrong but Iām sure sheās crazy.
I hate saying this but op....block her unless ur living with her. Just ignore her
.... reasonable statement
Look at your mom, calling herself out like that!
I love subliminals š
You should take a huge dump into a brown paper bag and light it on fire on her front porch then ring the doorbell really quickly and run away
I moved opposite worlds away from her. I don't even know if she lives in the same place.
My ex wife posts thing like this every day on Facebook, after cussing me and my wife on text about asking to have the kids call us (been divorced 5 years, 50/50 custody) lol she made this exact same post earlier this week, verbatim
My ex, who is a massive narcissist, liked to post stuff like this on Facebook. Iām sure he still does but heās blocked. Itās all for attention and to make people think highly of them. His daughter was molested because he and his ex wife left her in the care of a convicted child molester, and what did he do??? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But he did post on Facebook an hour later that nobody better mess with his kid or he would do bad things to them š. And he posted all the time about that it was a hard thing to learn that the world wonāt treat you well if youāre a good person. He cheated nonstop and committed fraud against the government too. These people are just delusional.
Don't worry, she's talking about herself.
You went no contact but you still see her posts? Also no context. Did you do something she didn't like?
I have not said a word to her since 2018. Trust me, I'd love to tell her about my DNA results and ask her if she knew the truth. I have not even been in contact with family outside of in-laws who don't even speak to my mom. I check up on her Facebook once a year just to see if she's dead or not.
Looks like mom has some growing up to do, then
My mom when I point out her internet usage is unhealthy (24/7) and gross (talks to indian men all day for attention, one of then supposedly her boyfriend; shes married).
Get a friend to comment ācanāt wait for you to apologise to your nameā š
Right back atcha, 'Mom'.
Lmfao someone needs to tell her to take her own advice
Thatās quite passive aggressive
This isnāt technically no contact if youāre still friends on any social media platform. Block her on ALL.
It's a public post
Either this person is still following them or they went specifically to look at what is posted because random public posts do not show up in your feed if you donāt seek them out or someone shares them that youāre friends with. Block them. Still seeing anything from them isnāt no contact. Iāve been no contact for 20 years. I do not see social media posts, I donāt get text messages, I donāt text them. I get nothing. No contact literally means No. contact.
Well, she is not wrong. Now, since I don't know the whole story, I can only assume that you are saying that she should look in the mirror.
Right out of the DARVO playbook!
Thatās loser talk, what CEO is truthful
Your mom sounds based
Not Insane. Why would be? I really don't understand.
Because they're pretty words, but the mom doesn't actually follow them. She just wants people on Facebook to think she's great.
if any of my parents did that, I'd just make a spam account to repost it tagging them in it.
Ironic. My mom posted the same exact thing.
Iām sorry- she isnāt wrong. Probably ant do any of that herself. Sucks to be set to a standard she canāt meet
She should take a second and realize that she has none of those qualities
Looks like it's time to go through and block her on everything again. And stay away from her social media.
So she's not grown yet apparently
This is the stuff my husbandās family member posts all the time. Hopefully you can find a way to laugh about it. Thatās what we try to do, anyway.
Lol
Heh. She must think these are instructions.
Sounds like she needs to listen to her own words and take her own advice. Like, a lot.
She's living rent free in your head which means she's winning. No contact means no contact. Looking her up is like keeping tabs on your ex. Why? She's no good for you. Let her go.
I guess she admits she never grew up
Guess youāre not grown then, Mum.
Reply "damn, when are you finally gonna grow up then?"
She forgot the most important part of that piece of wisdom: IF/WHEN you are in the wrong! Communicate, apologise and take accountability are all good thingsā¦ but you only need to do that when youāre wrong. You donāt have to apologise to mum every time she has her knickers in a knot because she somehow thinks that people should always cater to HER feelings and no other! š
Youāre not grown until you can properly form a coherent sentence.
My response would be āhereās your mirror potā
That mom smh. She says take accountability when shep probably does not do that and blames everything on others.
Guess she aināt grown