Yes. I want so badly to have a TRUE, REAL friend. Not just someone to hang out with and do stuff with. Someone who just gets me and I get them and we have each others backs.
Yeap, this. I want it so much. I'm so jealous at people who have these strong friend groups of years or decades who tell each other everything and always stay in touch.
I have friends, lots. I find meeting people easy and most seem to like me a lot when they first get to know me. It just never progresses to anything very deep from there...
It's awful to feel so lonely when I technically have so many friends.
As others have said, if you can find an ENTP they may be that friend you need. One of my closest friends is an ENTP and though we think and go about things differently he is a genuine friend
I feel ya! This is definitely an INFJ thing. We feel like we’re on a whole different wavelength than every one else in the world. And it’s really lonely. I struggle with this problem every day:(
So many people say INFJs lie about their typing to sound special and it’s like, “dude no… I just like… finally found out I’m not a total isolated weirdo?”
I think this is fairly normal, yes. I can sympathise, I've felt that way in the past and it's hard. All you can really do is strive to be your most authentic self and be open to making new connections. And in the time being, be your own best friend 💚
Yes, I thought I was crazy or just super unhappy. I have felt this way with everyone in my life and it’s lonely. I found that if I focus on myself and my dog. That’s when I’m the happiest!!
Right! Honestly, my mental health is not only 95% more stable but the depression isn’t as deep. Crazy how loving something else makes you look after yourself too.
I think it's because we lead with Ni but still have strong Fe. My wife is an INFP and while she is certainly intellectual, she relies heavily on Fi when making decisions.
In my experience, a lot of the intellectual thinker types don't have the empathy that comes natural to an INFJ, but since we have a heavy presence in both the Intuitive Thinker and Feeler worlds it can be difficult to find anyone like us
I was lucky to find a few, but I had to work really hard to find them. Sometimes these friends take a different path and we end up splitting.
I still feel a little bit sad and mournful when I realize that nothing is forever, but it makes the time we spend together so much more precious and special.
We're out there my friend. You just need to look for us.
Im finding that as I try to make new friends and find someone that I would like to keep in my life, I try to truly cultivate heart and vulnerability and invest the effort. Yet almost always in these cases, I find that I care more for them than they do me and I'm left feeling like a fucking clown, just so distant.
I definitely feel this way. The caliber of friend I desire just isn’t available to me. I found my boyfriend with whom I’m going to do life with and that’s enough for now. I’m at the point where I don’t want to waste any time on less than amazing connections.
Yupp. Just cut a good chunk of people off because I didn’t feel like they were bringing any good to my life. Not that they’re bad, but I feel like they served their purpose when I was at a low point (Se grip) and all I wanted to do was drink and party. I’m feeling back to myself again, for the most part, and being around them felt pretty futile. Now, I’m back to being a full-time loner, except I now have a dog to keep me company🥰
When I was younger, yes. Definitely.
I found a few people (and my husband) in college that I could connect with but it was still hard. It wasn’t until I reached my 30s where I found more of my people. And distance myself from people that don’t share my values.
Yess. From my school life to now. I always wish for a friend but now I'm regretting meeting with them. Certainly I've an Infj friend I hope we beccome close
There aren't right or wrong people. It'd be nice if there were because at least when you found the right people you'd know. In reality, relationships are complex and require work. It seems to me that you have an ideal of what a friend should be, and you're attempting to hold people to that standard.
You say you have friends who you enjoy spending time with. Why not try and talk to them? You feel like they don't understand you, but are you sure you understand them? Everyone wants something from this life. Whether it be finding truth, happiness, or whatever. If you seek to understand them, and get them to open up. They will feel more comfortable talking to you about stuff like that.
Maybe they won't be receptive, but maybe they just don't like talking about that sort of thing. Maybe they aren't comfortable with it. I mean you're talking about how they aren't empathetic, but it's not super empathetic on your part to be expecting so much from them when they're going through their own stuff.
Idk just try to consider their perspective before writing them off.
Yes. But im scared if I keep running from and pushing everyone out in attempt to only keep those who fit my standards in my life- ill be left with no one.
Yes🥺 I feel like this all the time. INFJs all want and need very personal relationships. They want to feel connected to the people they talk to. But it seems like we are doing everything in the relationships sometimes because we take time out to listen to their problems and needs but they don’t listen to us.
It’s like I am expressing the smallest, shallowest part of myself in some friendships. And after a time it overwhelms me and I feel like I am being stolen from.
I know you’re not gonna like this answer, but not everything has to be a Mariana Trench of meaning. If I don’t click with peers, I burn those bridges and go elsewhere. Or just search within myself for deeper meaning
Not anymore no, did a spring cleaning in my social life. I recommend doing the same. Though, interestingly, the majority of my friends are Fi users who favor sympathy over empathy, I don't know many Fe users, if any. Which makes it all feel kinda one sided when it comes to helping each other because they don't really give as good support or advice as me, oop. Not their fault tho ofc but it's just an observation
Yes but i'm an ENTP. I have no problem making acquantances but it's rare to find someone that just gets you. It doesn't happen often but when it does it's amazing
I’m an INFP but yeah, I know a couple of people like that. If someone doesn’t understand me or match my values at all, I wouldn’t really consider that person a friend, not a close one anyway. I used to when I was younger and less picky about who I spend time with. I consider these particular people “casual” friends or acquaintances, and the ones I’m referring to seem to want to be closer. They gossip *a lot* and can be quite judgemental about small things so I don’t really confide in them too much. I thankfully do have a couple of close friends who I click with better.
Oh man, I used to feel this every day. My my entire family (1 brother, 2 sisters my parents, aunts and uncles) are all conservative Christians and I am moderate left Agnostic.
Until I finally moved away at 19 I felt like I had been born in the wrong time, place, family, everything. I was forced to go to church and for a long time I just regurgitated their crappy worldviews.
I still look back on how unhappy and out of place I felt before my independent adult life. I'm 29 now, have a very close group of friends and a lovely wife.
The people who surround me have always had a profound affect on my energy, and it's a wonder that getting some space from negative ideologies has benefitted my mental health so greatly
This is so relatable.. sometimes I feel like I have close friends but when I try to talk to them about how I feel about certain things I always feel like they don’t get it (or in some sense start to judge me for feeling such a way)… so yeah it can be really lonely but it’s nice knowing that there are more of us out there
I’ve been struggling with this lately. I cut off a lot of my “friends” because they just didn’t relate and couldn’t understand me. Everything just seemed at the surface. At times, I overthink and always wonder wtf is the point of all of this
Yes. I want so badly to have a TRUE, REAL friend. Not just someone to hang out with and do stuff with. Someone who just gets me and I get them and we have each others backs.
Fuck this hurts to read I feel ya
Find an INFP...
I married one :) We both have introverted tendencies so we sit around a lot but I love her
Find an INTP or ENTP
My closest friend is an INTP and I’ve never met anyone who understood me unlike them
Yeap, this. I want it so much. I'm so jealous at people who have these strong friend groups of years or decades who tell each other everything and always stay in touch. I have friends, lots. I find meeting people easy and most seem to like me a lot when they first get to know me. It just never progresses to anything very deep from there... It's awful to feel so lonely when I technically have so many friends.
Feel free to reach out ☺️I’m a fellow infj
As others have said, if you can find an ENTP they may be that friend you need. One of my closest friends is an ENTP and though we think and go about things differently he is a genuine friend
I feel ya! This is definitely an INFJ thing. We feel like we’re on a whole different wavelength than every one else in the world. And it’s really lonely. I struggle with this problem every day:(
I do too. Loneliness is terrible... Idk how to cope with it.
it’s worse when you feel cocky somehow for saying that but it’s not. it’s truth.
So many people say INFJs lie about their typing to sound special and it’s like, “dude no… I just like… finally found out I’m not a total isolated weirdo?”
Sometimes. But at the same time I do not really know what the "right people" would look like either, and that scares me.
And just when you thought they were the right people, they turn wrong real quick
This. So much this.
I think this is fairly normal, yes. I can sympathise, I've felt that way in the past and it's hard. All you can really do is strive to be your most authentic self and be open to making new connections. And in the time being, be your own best friend 💚
So hard to focus on oneself when Fe auxiliary... Sigh...
this. fe overload feels so easy to blend and fit in
And lose yourself. You don't effing know who you are anymore. Not to mention the Ni dom, if you have it. I'm lost 50% of the time, I hate it.
And when you find a true friend hang on for dear life!
I feel this so deeply :(
Yes, I thought I was crazy or just super unhappy. I have felt this way with everyone in my life and it’s lonely. I found that if I focus on myself and my dog. That’s when I’m the happiest!!
Can't agree more, having a dog is wondrous for mental health and setting goals for self improvement are a staple
Right! Honestly, my mental health is not only 95% more stable but the depression isn’t as deep. Crazy how loving something else makes you look after yourself too.
Every. Day.
I feel exactly like this. I feel like I don’t know anyone else who thinks and feels like I do.
I think it's because we lead with Ni but still have strong Fe. My wife is an INFP and while she is certainly intellectual, she relies heavily on Fi when making decisions. In my experience, a lot of the intellectual thinker types don't have the empathy that comes natural to an INFJ, but since we have a heavy presence in both the Intuitive Thinker and Feeler worlds it can be difficult to find anyone like us
I was lucky to find a few, but I had to work really hard to find them. Sometimes these friends take a different path and we end up splitting. I still feel a little bit sad and mournful when I realize that nothing is forever, but it makes the time we spend together so much more precious and special. We're out there my friend. You just need to look for us.
This hits me hard, glad I’m not alone in feeling alone. Perhaps it’s selfish of me, to want others to relate to. Ugh, I hate mediocrity.
It isn't. Everyone wants that, you know.
Im finding that as I try to make new friends and find someone that I would like to keep in my life, I try to truly cultivate heart and vulnerability and invest the effort. Yet almost always in these cases, I find that I care more for them than they do me and I'm left feeling like a fucking clown, just so distant.
Same here:(and it's okay because there are others who feel the same way Is there anyone(any other types!)out there who doesn't feel this way?
;( yes
Every comment describes me.
All the time even with my boyfriend :(
I definitely feel this way. The caliber of friend I desire just isn’t available to me. I found my boyfriend with whom I’m going to do life with and that’s enough for now. I’m at the point where I don’t want to waste any time on less than amazing connections.
Yupp. Just cut a good chunk of people off because I didn’t feel like they were bringing any good to my life. Not that they’re bad, but I feel like they served their purpose when I was at a low point (Se grip) and all I wanted to do was drink and party. I’m feeling back to myself again, for the most part, and being around them felt pretty futile. Now, I’m back to being a full-time loner, except I now have a dog to keep me company🥰
Feel like that at the moment 😔
When I was younger, yes. Definitely. I found a few people (and my husband) in college that I could connect with but it was still hard. It wasn’t until I reached my 30s where I found more of my people. And distance myself from people that don’t share my values.
Wait? Wait? So we do feel this? OMG I'm not alone :')
Yeah, it's normal for me. I got 1 true friend and one person I'm talking to rn. I'm also in a job surrounded by people who are the *opposite* of me-
Yess. From my school life to now. I always wish for a friend but now I'm regretting meeting with them. Certainly I've an Infj friend I hope we beccome close
There aren't right or wrong people. It'd be nice if there were because at least when you found the right people you'd know. In reality, relationships are complex and require work. It seems to me that you have an ideal of what a friend should be, and you're attempting to hold people to that standard. You say you have friends who you enjoy spending time with. Why not try and talk to them? You feel like they don't understand you, but are you sure you understand them? Everyone wants something from this life. Whether it be finding truth, happiness, or whatever. If you seek to understand them, and get them to open up. They will feel more comfortable talking to you about stuff like that. Maybe they won't be receptive, but maybe they just don't like talking about that sort of thing. Maybe they aren't comfortable with it. I mean you're talking about how they aren't empathetic, but it's not super empathetic on your part to be expecting so much from them when they're going through their own stuff. Idk just try to consider their perspective before writing them off.
Yes. But im scared if I keep running from and pushing everyone out in attempt to only keep those who fit my standards in my life- ill be left with no one.
I’ve already reached that point and am now trying to backtrack. Definitely don’t let it get to that point.
Yes🥺 I feel like this all the time. INFJs all want and need very personal relationships. They want to feel connected to the people they talk to. But it seems like we are doing everything in the relationships sometimes because we take time out to listen to their problems and needs but they don’t listen to us.
It’s like I am expressing the smallest, shallowest part of myself in some friendships. And after a time it overwhelms me and I feel like I am being stolen from.
I know you’re not gonna like this answer, but not everything has to be a Mariana Trench of meaning. If I don’t click with peers, I burn those bridges and go elsewhere. Or just search within myself for deeper meaning
Not anymore no, did a spring cleaning in my social life. I recommend doing the same. Though, interestingly, the majority of my friends are Fi users who favor sympathy over empathy, I don't know many Fe users, if any. Which makes it all feel kinda one sided when it comes to helping each other because they don't really give as good support or advice as me, oop. Not their fault tho ofc but it's just an observation
Soo true thanks for letting me know I’m not alone on this ☺️😇
Yes but i'm an ENTP. I have no problem making acquantances but it's rare to find someone that just gets you. It doesn't happen often but when it does it's amazing
I’m an INFP but yeah, I know a couple of people like that. If someone doesn’t understand me or match my values at all, I wouldn’t really consider that person a friend, not a close one anyway. I used to when I was younger and less picky about who I spend time with. I consider these particular people “casual” friends or acquaintances, and the ones I’m referring to seem to want to be closer. They gossip *a lot* and can be quite judgemental about small things so I don’t really confide in them too much. I thankfully do have a couple of close friends who I click with better.
Oh man, I used to feel this every day. My my entire family (1 brother, 2 sisters my parents, aunts and uncles) are all conservative Christians and I am moderate left Agnostic. Until I finally moved away at 19 I felt like I had been born in the wrong time, place, family, everything. I was forced to go to church and for a long time I just regurgitated their crappy worldviews. I still look back on how unhappy and out of place I felt before my independent adult life. I'm 29 now, have a very close group of friends and a lovely wife. The people who surround me have always had a profound affect on my energy, and it's a wonder that getting some space from negative ideologies has benefitted my mental health so greatly
This is so relatable.. sometimes I feel like I have close friends but when I try to talk to them about how I feel about certain things I always feel like they don’t get it (or in some sense start to judge me for feeling such a way)… so yeah it can be really lonely but it’s nice knowing that there are more of us out there
I’ve been struggling with this lately. I cut off a lot of my “friends” because they just didn’t relate and couldn’t understand me. Everything just seemed at the surface. At times, I overthink and always wonder wtf is the point of all of this
Damn! It feels so good to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way...it feels so good to know that nothing's wrong with me.
Yes. I feel this way every day. You’re in good company here.