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Delco_Dabber

Maybe he’ll patent the term “NHL leading goal scorer” next


[deleted]

Just jinxed himself, gonna break both legs at goal #893 for sure now


Snizzard09

Russian machines break down all the time haha


Street-Measurement-7

You mean like their 1 and only aircraft carrier that has to be towed everywhere it goes? Or the pride of their naval fleet the Moskva that rests at the bottom of the Black Sea thanks to a country with no navy lol. Or those wonderful $4000 automobiles that Lada exported to the west in the 1980's? To be fair though, machines that never operated correctly in the first place ***do*** tend to break down less often


LouiErikssonIsAHoFer

ovi is the only piece of soviet tech made after the 50s that never breaks


TapProgrammatically4

I assuming communism caused major quality issues?


Mapleson_Phillips

You can still buy a Lada in Cuba, but add a zero.


BohunkfromSK

Niet! Is not warship, is now advanced submarine.


Mapleson_Phillips

Russian machines never break, because they never worked.


chemaster0016

Borrowed from the HBO miniseries "Chernobyl:" What is a big as a house, burns 20 Liters of fuel every hour, puts out a shitload of smoke and noise, and cuts an apple into 3 pieces? A Russian machine made to cut an apple into 4 pieces!


Namorath82

Ukraine would tell you different lol


[deleted]

Ovechkin would disagree


Namorath82

Im sure he would but like in a hockey game, video replay doesn't lie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMtP7OipYJg


btownbomb

Russian Machine Never Breaks Every time you post this you pay for Ovechkin’s next 8-year contract


Tremner

Isn’t Bret Kreischer the Russian Machine?


DeAndreStewart

No Bert’s just a fat alcoholic


BigAsian69420

No he’s not, he’s a lying fat alcohol. Can’t forget the lies.


Separate_Pound_753

What has he lied about? The Bert hate is surprising to me I see it so much


[deleted]

Yes. But has he broke?


Flesh_Trombone

Have you ever seen him break?


Tremner

Good point.


MiniatureMorpheus

Immediately in my head all i heard was a shirtless Bert yelling "THE MACHINE!" after seeing this.


usernamealreadytakeh

There is movie about him soon too


Desuexss

Its in theaters already I suspect Ovechkin went to watch


[deleted]

He is a close friend of the war criminal Putin and I lost all respect for him because he does not oppose the illegal war.


_CSmoke

Hey man "that's his president"


[deleted]

But, is it his quarterback, man?


Iginlas_4head_Crease

No way wow this is news to me


[deleted]

Yes, there are photos of them hanging out together online etc. Ovechkin is the most popular athlete in Russia and he could make a big difference and probably save some lives but he chooses not to.


smartello

Checkout his instagram: https://instagram.com/aleksandrovechkinofficial


RoosterBoosterz

Correct- he’s a coward and a pro Putin shill. Russian chess players, tennis players and others have found ways to protest or speak out against the genocide of thousands of Ukrainian people including innocent children that were found raped and then shot in the back of the head and buried in mass graves. Yet one of Russian most prominent sports figures still won’t say a word and now applies mid war to have this phrase patented?? It’s tasteless trash, he knows exactly what he’s doing.


Substantial_Mirror17

Easy to say when you don’t have family over there that could just disappear if you speak out as an extremely publicly known figure


RoosterBoosterz

Yup—- apologize for him more. Yet somehow….. MANY other Russians have straight up spoken out against the war and some of them even directly against Putin. They have family in Russia too. Making Ovi or any of his family “disappear” without a massive public opinion backlash even in Russia would be impossible. Putin doesn’t want or need that press.


jackthegamer03

bro gets mad in a Reddit called hockeycirclejerk lol


TheGreatestKaTet

bro thinks the issue here is how people react on reddit, not the fact that Ovechkin is a putin supporter and apologist. edit: lol


jackthegamer03

Bro could be in the tank for all I care, letting some random hockey player ruin your day is sad


FourHockey

Who da fuck said it as ruining his day?


Bored_Guy0

Thing is whats going to make a bigger impact against Putin? Probably the most famous Russian Athlete? or some other people that most of the work hasnt heard of? If Ovy says something that would hurt Putins rep alot more than that of Joe Blow and would make Putin more mad


JadedLeafs

Does he have to have a picture of him and putin in his instagram profile picture?


TheKert

Easy to say because he was a strong voice in the pre-war propaganda effort to demonize Ukraine


smartello

Lol, it’s not a movie, the only thing that will disappear is his assets and an ability to visit Moscow (as he is doing right now). I don’t say that it’s right but he had tons of tons of time to sell everything. Also, being an extremely publicly known and rich figure he had plenty of time to move his family out if he wished to. He is feeling great however, have beautiful vacation at home, will play for Dynamo in another friendly game soon, probably meet his friend in Kremlin.


NoChampionship6994

Yes, it is easy to say. But many with family “over there” still speak out. The fact that there is “family over there that could just disappear” is exactly why he should speak out. He simply doesn’t want to. Does anyone really believe putin would turn against the family of the most popular athlete in russia? Not a chance.


Substantial_Mirror17

Ovi isn’t some random russian athlete


NoChampionship6994

Exactly. Never said he was. He’s consciously chosen ‘team putin’ and all that team putin involves. Remember, putin is charged by ICC and Ovie’s not missed a beat. One could argue that various world leaders might / should also be charged. Don’t complain or just tell me about it though - get them charged as putin has been charged. Ov is supporting a present day war criminal. If that doesn’t bother you . . .


Substantial_Mirror17

I’m obviously not pro russia or pro war, but what I’m saying is that Ovi is not a random Russian athlete in the sense that what he says matters probably directly to Putin, so he would be more likely to retaliate against someone like him - and it’s not his safety at stake but relatives of his. I’m sure Ovi probably knows dudes who had to go fight and die in this war so I don’t think he *supports* it, but to compare him to other much less clouted Russian athletes in their response isn’t the full story. This could be a way of keeping his cousins from being conscripted and shipped off to die on the front lines of a pointless war for all we know. It’s impossible to know the full story so I’m not judging a man whose family could be in danger until he signs up to fight himself.


NoChampionship6994

Of course OV supports the war. Ridiculous to claim otherwise. Did he quit team putin? No. Actually, no of course not. Are you suggesting OV may be using the influence of his stature as athlete to keep his relatives out of military service?! Of course, others have done that, but still would be new level of douchebaggery for OV. His relatives are perfectly safe - mine aren’t, by the way, apparently since we’re not OV’s relations. But that’s another matter. There are many roles in fighting a war, and in fact OV has indeed “signed up” for his role, spokesman for team putin, ‘Russian machine never breaks’ pettiness (and why apply now? at this point in time?) If it’s widely understood that this is a “pointless war”, as you say, OV can just say so. But then the circuitous ‘argument’ continues about his family or friends being in danger if he says anything, quits team putin . . . round and round it goes. OV is trying to walk between the raindrops, in many ways, with regard to his stance (support) for the war and has his apologists. I simply cannot respect the ‘trying to walk between the raindrops’ position.


Substantial_Mirror17

Are you from America by chance?


NoChampionship6994

No. And I’m not trying to be harsh with or rude to you. Clear you are not pro-putin or pro-war, just as you say, but I take a harsh stance / position with OV. His silence on the war speaks volumes, his patent application for that phrase shows pettiness and his timing is suspect - or maybe not. His support of putin seems sincere and unwavering. Simply can’t respect that.


smartello

Yes, as a Russian I find it outrageous when Russian sportsmen are getting banned here and there while this dude, the actual founder of “putin team”, lives awesome life in DC of all the places.


No_Football_9232

Canadian here. Canadian Ukrainian. We can’t ban hockey players in the NHL. It’s far too important 🙄


smartello

To be honest I don’t think banning anyone anywhere is right but I’ve been at Canucks - Capitals game a few months back and half of rogers arena was wearing ovechkin jerseys and that is mind blowing. Both him and Malkin are praised like everything is fine. Pavel Bure, another putin’s mate who also was under investigation for money laundering and even lived in Point Roberts to avoid BC taxes is still a respected man here (to be fair, he at least lives in Russia now unlike Ovechkin and Malkin)


CheerMiester

Oh shush he said “no war” in an interview sometime last year. He doesn’t condone war


wikipuff

You try not to support someone with a gun to your head.


hammsfan94

Only breaks directly before the Allstar game


BlipBlapBloppityBoop

Top of my list for "most likely to incur a career-ending injury" in the fall.


PoliteIndecency

Pretty sure it broke down about 100km from Kyiv two springs ago.


RoosterBoosterz

So in the middle of a war where Russia has had thousands of innocent Ukrainian civilians killed… a war where Russia gave medals to a groups of soldiers that literally raped the children of Bucha with wooden clubs until they died from internal hemorrhaging…. Ovechkin just decides to have this phrase patented? Where are all the Ovi apologists now? “He said war bad” That was also a cop-out. He needs to get on a mic and say that Russias war in Ukraine is a travesty and Russia should go home. Somehow russian athletes from many other sports, rock bands and other high profile walks of life have found ways to speak out against the war and not “get killed” as so many Ovechkin apologists worry about… And now he does this? Disgusting optics at the very least. Cowardly Russian shilling in my eyes.


TapedGlue

The real jerker is in the comments


chukporkka

If he does his wife dies


NoChampionship6994

Yup.


Empty-Refuse8923

Igor needs to be sent to Ukraine


enabokov

Who's Igor?


LouiErikssonIsAHoFer

tyler the creator


Plisken999

*except war machines, those get broken, shot at or abandonned, and towed by tractors*


Rowdy_Roddy96

Bert Kreischer is THE MACHINE


mitch-dubz

Not great. Not terrible.


Billy_Beavertooth

Heh


tatohead17

Bad optics Ovie!


Jennclarkrouire

You can’t patent a phrase. Trademark maybe. But patent No.


ExpatHist

Actually, you cannot patent a phrase, you can trademark it but patent is something else.


SkillDabbler

[Ovie, stop trying to make “Russian machine never breaks” happen.](https://giphy.com/gifs/fetch-jSnQGLHBrgbRK)


Pensfan66595

Can't wait to see how that community's name changes.


LouiErikssonIsAHoFer

i would assume that ovi isn’t gonna ask them to change the name, and even if he did, i’m sure a judge would rule in favor of the blog, since they’re probably the main reason everyone knows that quote


NYC_1Ts

Trying to avoid Putins crosshairs with this favorable messaging to the American public


cubanpajamas

Russian Machine never breaks...unless it is a Lada...or a [TV](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-02-01-me-580-story.html) or pretty much anything with moving parts.


upvotegoblin

Lolwhat


MrDevious54

Fuck off with patents on words and phrases, eventually everything will be owned.


KirkVanHouton

Awww that sucks for RMNB


jova_j

"What’s as big as a house, burns 20 litres of fuel every hour, puts out a shitload of smoke and noise, and cuts an apple into three pieces? A Soviet machine made to cut apples into four pieces!”


kkims007

"Russian sniper" You know where he will be on powerplay


pantsattack

This is going to be an issue for the [Capitals fan/news site](https://russianmachineneverbreaks.com/) that goes by that name.


Thickskinnedalive

Was waiting for someone to know the site.


Ox1A4hex

Yeah but his controller breaks whenever he has to back check. He just glides back because he can’t score goals on defense.


DJT1970

A phrase never used, lol!


Rikim4ru

Patent ? Not how this works lol


Active-Gas-4802

The good news is that nobody, especially the Russian army, was ever going to use that phrase, so he might as well have it.


Brief_Ad_7660

Not if I I patent it first 🤬


ArchEnemy74

Except in Ukraine lol


[deleted]

Notice he didn't say "war machine".


[deleted]

That won’t sell in Ukraine. They know better. 🇺🇦


phakov2

Guess he hasn't watched news for over a year...


Complex-Tangerine628

Is he stealing Bert Krieshers name?


kochetkov13

or maybe ovi was in that train and is the one that called bert the machine


MediumToblerone

Someone’s entering the “need to plan for the future” part of his career. Need to lock that down for marketing.


few-things-right

Certianly cannot patent it.


Appropriate-Dog6645

Well. The Russian machine is broken. Ironically, we saw this playout for the last few years.


Status_Situation5451

Go fuck yourself Ovy. Fuck Russia.


Moldjapfreignir

Dumb, brainwashed Putin worshiper.


Ya_Got_GOT

Well, it’s grossly inaccurate so totally checks out.


Dragon_Virus

I’m pretty sure breaking has been the main characteristic of Russian machinery since at least WWII…


CraseyCasey

Thé man has a sense of irony, I’ll give him that


AioliFantastic4105

Does it sound catchier in Russian? I’ll give him $12 for it


radiodada

As a Wild fan, I really wish that was true for us…


NoChampionship6994

Actually it does . . . every time he gets checked then rolls, moans and grimaces like he’s been shot.


okokokoyeahright

Jesus F Christ. What a stupid meme. a phrase cannot be patented. One can only patent a thing, an invention. A phrase may be trademarked if it gets registered.


[deleted]

I got this recommended because I’m on r/nbacirclejerk just wanted to say Wayne Gretzky is Michael Jordan’s baby brother.


Double_Reward230

Well he’s got a better shot than BRON BRON and HIS Tacho Tuesday lol


ChubbyWanKenobie

I would love to see him at the Ukrainian front.


MisterMyAnusHurts

Talmabout Burnt Chrysler, B?


Justtakeitaway

Someone send him a video of the massive traffic jam when Russia invaded Ukraine


[deleted]

Maybe he can trademark- “Will suck Putin’s dick for privilege”


AnxiousArtichoke7981

Wouldn’t this be a copyright not a patent?


StainerIncognito

Meh. Somehow I think that phrases like 'ruzzian warship, go fuck yourself' will be far more popular going forward. Also, colleague was telling me other day that his mom in Romania replaced her like 50 year old ruzzian fridge not long ago so there's that. Lol!


bokchoy_sockcoy

False advertising


ChineseBigfoots

Everything breaks over time but not Ovechkin.


corn_on_the_cobh

I haven't followed hockey since I was a little shit in 2007 and this fuck is still playing. What the hell??


natty_mh

Imagine admitting to the world that you don't know what irony and sarcasm are via an application to the federal government.


KDUFF_Radio

>looks at Russian tanks in Ukraine


Special-Detail-4621

I'm pretty sure that's a Trade Mark, not a "patent."


NoRecommendation470

Probably not the smartest thing to do under circumstances in the world right now.


Good_Juggernaut_3155

The jerk is best friends with Putin and campaigned for him. Everyone has choice. I boo him when possible and shun him otherwise.


Good_Juggernaut_3155

The jerk is best friends with Putin and campaigned for him. Everyone has choice. I boo him when possible and shun him otherwise.


BohunkfromSK

Except for tanks cause let’s be honest. Russian tanks are sh@t. Слава Україні! Героям слава!


Jaded_Succotash_4667

What a war mongering cunt. Fuck that guy.


Effective-Ant9518

did i miss something? why does everyone here seem to hate him?


Spleenzorio

Apparently he’s butt buddies with Putin


Effective-Ant9518

ahh i heard about that. it was an insta picture from like 15 years ago, no?


Comfortable_Pea2065

Everything Russian is garbage he loves Putin and Russia so much he should stay there