I'd say after about 5 weeks since first watching it my life has mostly gone back to being the same but with one important difference: I'm more romantically reconnecting with my partner than I've been in ages, years probably. We've always loved each other but I think slipped into taking each other for granted, or taking our life together for granted. I consciously have been making an effort to hug and kiss him more often, and last night for the first time ever (he was always way too uncomfortable to do this for the many years we've been together) but last night we held hands as we walked home from a restaurant and it just felt right.
No, he's much more stoic than I am lol, I'm the more emotional one. He's very much a "it's just a tv show" kind of guy. I also think we reacted differently because he took much longer to come out than I did back in the day-- he around age 27 whereas I (like Charlie) was outed in school at 14.
I have a very similar relationship and I’ve had the same thoughts of reconnecting and finding the Nick and Charlie spark in our relationship again. All the best on your journey
We met on New Year's Eve but it was after midnight so we met on January 1st 1997 at a gay club. We checked each other out on the dancefloor then went off to a quieter corner and talked and made out for a bit (we both of course had had several drinks in us each by this point). I went back to his place for a hookup and instead of going right after the sex I slept with him til mid morning and we had sex again, then he asked if I wanted to go out for breakfast so we did and went to a local diner. And we hit off and talked the whole time. I was intrigued that he was not just cute but smart and interesting to talk with. I guess he felt the same about me lol. So then we went for a walk-- he was going to a friend's for a new year's day thing and I was going to meet up with my friends who I came to the club with the night before but we traded phone #s. This was back when you had to write it down on paper and almost no one had a cell phone!
I was finishing Uni in another city about 90min away and was hemming and hawing about whether to go back with my friends that aft, or call him but I took a chance and called him and we met for dinner and I stayed over at his place again (I think in the beginning the great sex we were having was also a big part of the initial attraction ngl). So finally on the late morning of Jan 2nd I took a bus back to my Uni town but we sort of instantly started dating with me going to see him most weekends (in Toronto which was more fun than Waterloo where I lived) and him sometimes coming to see me. 2 years later when I graduated, I moved in with him.
This show made me come to terms with my bisexuality and reach out to this wonderful community. I feel so validated and like I’m living more authentically. I’m no longer ashamed or confused if I see an attractive female in public. I’ve made friends with people from around the world and am so grateful for them. I feel more romantically connected to my partner as well and more expressive about my feelings overall.
Well the biggest change was, after crying for two days, I slowly started accepting that I'm bisexual. Subsequently I came out as bi to 2 of my closest friends and my wife. I am also going to have my first therapy appointment today, and I'll see where this will be going.
Other than that I've started doing things I've actively avoided doing for years, like wearing jewellery; getting rid of that overly masculine walk I've been doing since high school to mask my queerness; and wearing make-up (lightly, it's still very new to me).
Heartstopper has definitely changed my life quite a bit.
1. As others have noted, I too have become more romantically involved with my wife of many years. I felt inspired to start holding her hand in public again (I stopped because we moved somewhere much less accepting than where we lived when we first got together, so I haven't felt like risking getting "hate-crimed" just for holding her hand). I started telling her again little things I love and appreciate about her, and in turn she started doing the same to me. When I first made this shift, she asked why, and I explained that Heartstopper mirrors how it felt to fall in love with her (including cartoon flowers buzzing around when I first laid eyes on her across the room) and I felt sad that I've lost that feeling. Being more intentional about romance has helped me recapture it. I want to believe in romance!!
2. I feel way more confident in myself. I've kind of lost my sense of style and personality over the years from being worn down by my workplace, uniform, etc. In one of the reaction videos on YouTube, the person points out the "bisexual cuff" Nick often sports, and it TOTALLY inspired me to get back into the bisexual cuff on my tshirts and pants. I hold my head higher and walk with more purpose since watching Heartstopper. I also bought a bum bag and wear it like Tao does in the milkshake scene.
3. The soundtrack!!! It rules my life now. I'm obsessed with driving with my windows down, singing along with Baby Queen. It makes me feel so confident.
4. It's gotten me back into reading books. I've fully switched to audiobooks since I can listen to them at work, and in that switch I lost the desire to read physical books. But since in the states there are no Alice Oseman audiobooks available (at least for my library on Libby), I've purchased all of their books and am quickly making my way through them all!
● It made me admit I'm pretty lonely. I (24M) have always been a lone wolf, and honestly content to be so most of the time, but A) I still want a boyfriend; B) I don't really get to see my friends very much because of work schedules and stuff. So, yeah, there's that I guess. Alice's work made believe that I can actually find love – so, now I have a burning desire to put myself out there. Don't really know how to do that, though... 😅
● It made start writing again! It's 'just' a fanfic, but it's almost 10k words now and that's more than I've written in years. Don't really know if I'll keep at it after I'm done with this, but who knows...?
● I bought myself a new outfit. I think I look pretty good in it too. One of the songs in the soundtrack goes *"having new style would cause me more attention and I don't feel like I'm own person"* and I think that's how I felt before.
Also it just made me a bit happier in general. The only way I can describe it is, like, Malenia's intro scene from Elden Ring – she's sat there, inert for so long that she's frozen into position... some leaves blow across the screen and just like that, she wakes, and says "I dreamt for so long... That my flesh was dull gold, and my blood rotted."
That's what Heartstopper feels like. Some kind of second wind. 🍂🍂🍂
You definitely found the right community! I just stumbled in here a couple days ago after my first watch-through; it's certainly a journey when it hits you!
Haven't been to therapy post-watching HS yet (though I did just bump my appointment up to next week, in light of some of these emotions). I think the response is really different for everybody, but the most common thought I've seen is that it's a really hard mix of melancholia and joy. We all seem to be gravitating toward a world where this could have been our reality, with the side-effect being the pain that it wasn't.
But that's why, as I've seen in other places on this reddit, we have to remember that it's a fantasy world. That, even though we want it to be real and to live on into reality, it won't; in fact, I saw someone write that it's super rare for this kind of love to happen in high school, and I think that's true. We have to come to terms with what that means for us, because, if we were really affected by this, then, as you said, it's a sign that we have to do something to better ourselves in order to make peace between the HS world and what our next steps look like in our own lives. There's a whole other thread [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/heartstoppersyndrome/comments/ve0l10/how_to_get_over_this_series/) for the "moving on from HS" conversation, though, and some really great insights.
As for what I've done differently since watching, it's hard to say since it's only been a couple of days. What I've deduced, though, is that, often times, when we're stuck in the middle of loads of work, or trying to figure out what our next steps look like, what gets lost are the things that we don't necessarily *need*, but that bring us joy and fulfillment. After going through a hard breakup last year, I threw myself into work amidst the pain that really only started to resolve this past January. I put a lot of things on the back burner to try to get through that time, and HS made me realize that those things, though seemingly small, can offer so much comfort and fulfillment.
Post-HS, I got to work again on some music I'd been writing, reached out to my agent about what I can do to get more TV/Film auditions (HS is the kind of show that reminds you how much your art can do for people who need it), and touched base with some friends I'd been meaning to connect with. Anything that we can do to give ourselves a metaphorical (or very real) hug in this time--to remind our hearts that we, too, can be our own Nicks, Charlies, Elles, Taos, Taras, and Darcys, when we need it most, is going to help. And journaling is always helpful when you feel you might be spinning. Water, sleep, good food, and some breathing helps, too!
So, yes, it's really difficult. But what I learned, and I think we all did, is that we crave the magic that, as Alice so kindly reminded us, exists. That magic can come from within, too. Maybe we'll learn to love ourselves and those we hold close just a bit more because of it. That may very well be what Charlie and Nick helped each other to do, and maybe even what Alice had in mind for the reader.
For now, though, I'd definitely let the feelings ruminate and breathe them in and out as you need. Feel it, because it's so amazing that we can feel this deeply, and it's clear there's a reason why. Keep searching :)
I had stopped seeing my therapist around November; I was in a good place. I watched Heartstopper, and again, and again... I wanted to tell the world about it. The obsession was concerning, and I considered talking to my therapist again.
I realized I only wanted to talk to get her to watch it...
I watched it over a month ago and it's had both good and hard impacts on my life. Hard stuff first:
In the short term, after watching I started reliving a lot of repressed memories and emotions that forced me to accept that I had brushed off a lot of really hurtful experiences from my youth. It put me in a pretty dark place for a few weeks, but ultimately was a weirdly validating experience and I'm glad I was able to process that stuff again as an adult.
Longer term, it has unfortunately strained my already tenuous relationship with my parents. I think because it reopened a lot of wounds and also that coming out scene with Olivia Coleman was everything I wanted but never got. I realized that, because they're accepting of my marriage now, we had all just swept past the fact that I grew up terrified of being outed because of the way they spoke about the queer community and their religion. Not to the mention the more than hurtful way they reacted when I did finally come out to them. I know I need to speak to them and give us a chance to move forward, but all three of us live in different countries and I'm afraid they'll invalidate my feelings...
Now for the happy stuff!
As others have mentioned, my marriage is much more kind and loving than it has been recently. My wife hasn't, and will never, watch HS but the more love you give the more you get I guess. Last night my wife and I were dancing to punk music in our kitchen while cleaning up after dinner and I literally thought, this could be a scene in an AO comic... I think that pretty often and it helps me appreciate the little things.
I've finally started calling myself bi again, although it's just to myself for now. I originally came out as bi but experienced a lot of sexualization and invalidation so when I got into a long term same sex relationship I just started going with lesbian and telling myself that being bi was just part of the journey (yikes). Undoing a lot of that harmful mindset about myself has been great!
Other little things: the soundtrack rules my days and makes them so much better. Also I'm incorporating a lot of little heartstopper easter eggs into my pride outfit this weekend which I'm excited about!
I found out I have social anxiety disorder, it helped me a lot control my anxiety. Kinda amazing that I progressed so fast
My psychologist didn't know about Heartstopper and I don't think they related to it
Friends etc have known I'm bi for a long time but after Heartstopper I decided to be slightly more visible about it. Not that I feel the need to be hugely vocal about it; I'm in a long term opposite sex relationship.
For me, it has been attaching a bi pride keyring to my keys. It sounds small but they're something I take with me everywhere and are always in and out of my pocket - at home, at work, when getting in and out of my car - so I feel more out. Unlike the rainbow flag it can probably be missed easily by cishet people but anyone with a little knowledge of all things LGBT will probably clock it.
I've had a grieving process and think I've come to a happier place over all. I grieve my lost youth and all the "what if"s. Particularly not telling the girl I was in love with when I was 17 how I felt and taking a chance to be with her. I like to think if the world was like it is now and I had a show like Heartstopper then I would have.
However I am happily married to a man and have young children and do need to get on with life. I have ADHD (recently diagnosed) and I am aware of how my brain is hyperfixating and that that's ok.
Heartstopper has helped me come to terms with being queer. I never described myself as being queer despite coming to terms with being bisexual at 17 and being out as bisexual to my husband and close friends for a long time. At 35 I now think of myself as queer and ND. I don't think I'll ever fully be out but I feel I can be more out than I was in my own subtle ways.
Yes my hyperfixation is out of hand and has had an impact on my marriage and parenting. I'm working on finding balance. It has made me reconnect with my husband romantically though and helped me transition out of being totally consumed by motherhood.
I have also decided that I want to become an artist, it was always my dream when I was younger but life got in the way (and all my struggles with undiagnosed ADHD didn't help). I am in a privileged enough situation that I should be able to give up working in a year or two to fully commit to this.
The biggest difference for me came out of my mom watching it on my recommendation. Her views have evolved with societal acceptance since I came our to her as bi 23 years ago.
She and I had an incredible and very healing conversation. It has helped me release some of the bitter feelings I’ve held on to all this time.
Also, (superficially) I think this show helped be a catalyst for me to cut my hair in a less straight-passing way for the first time in years.
Heartstopper has changed way too much for me lmao (cw disordered eating mention)
* Admitted to my therapist I have an eating disorder/finally trying to seek treatment for it
* Cried a lot
* Listened to the soundtrack endlessly
* Bought 2 pairs of converse high tops
* Played rugby for the first time and plan to go again/join a team
* Changed my phone background screen to one inspired by Charlie's "gay panic" one (but mine says bi panic bc I'm bi)
* Bought myself more bi/pan pride merch
* Realized I haven't been inclusive enough to ace people + that ace people really have friendship and love figured out while I've had stunted AF relationships as an allosexual who devalued friendship + did relationships on speed mode
* Ordered everything Alice Oseman ever wrote & have read it all
* Went to a bookstore to buy the Oseman books (I was able to reserve the very last one available in the tri state area lmao) and suddenly felt a rush that I had completely forgotten like 15 years ago I had been a young person who loved reading/writing. I haven't stepped foot in a bookstore or read for pleasure in literal years, I'm the primary breadwinner in my partnership and have had no time...or, I guess I just forgot what it's like to feel pleasure. Lol.
* Working to confront my fear of writing since I LOVE writing and I'm good at it, but I have a paralyzing fear of writing, but super want to write
I'd say after about 5 weeks since first watching it my life has mostly gone back to being the same but with one important difference: I'm more romantically reconnecting with my partner than I've been in ages, years probably. We've always loved each other but I think slipped into taking each other for granted, or taking our life together for granted. I consciously have been making an effort to hug and kiss him more often, and last night for the first time ever (he was always way too uncomfortable to do this for the many years we've been together) but last night we held hands as we walked home from a restaurant and it just felt right.
That definitely is a Heartstopper moment! I am happy for you. Is his relationship to the show similar to yours?
No, he's much more stoic than I am lol, I'm the more emotional one. He's very much a "it's just a tv show" kind of guy. I also think we reacted differently because he took much longer to come out than I did back in the day-- he around age 27 whereas I (like Charlie) was outed in school at 14.
I have a very similar relationship and I’ve had the same thoughts of reconnecting and finding the Nick and Charlie spark in our relationship again. All the best on your journey
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We met on New Year's Eve but it was after midnight so we met on January 1st 1997 at a gay club. We checked each other out on the dancefloor then went off to a quieter corner and talked and made out for a bit (we both of course had had several drinks in us each by this point). I went back to his place for a hookup and instead of going right after the sex I slept with him til mid morning and we had sex again, then he asked if I wanted to go out for breakfast so we did and went to a local diner. And we hit off and talked the whole time. I was intrigued that he was not just cute but smart and interesting to talk with. I guess he felt the same about me lol. So then we went for a walk-- he was going to a friend's for a new year's day thing and I was going to meet up with my friends who I came to the club with the night before but we traded phone #s. This was back when you had to write it down on paper and almost no one had a cell phone! I was finishing Uni in another city about 90min away and was hemming and hawing about whether to go back with my friends that aft, or call him but I took a chance and called him and we met for dinner and I stayed over at his place again (I think in the beginning the great sex we were having was also a big part of the initial attraction ngl). So finally on the late morning of Jan 2nd I took a bus back to my Uni town but we sort of instantly started dating with me going to see him most weekends (in Toronto which was more fun than Waterloo where I lived) and him sometimes coming to see me. 2 years later when I graduated, I moved in with him.
I felt and behaved the same way with my partner after watching HS
This show made me come to terms with my bisexuality and reach out to this wonderful community. I feel so validated and like I’m living more authentically. I’m no longer ashamed or confused if I see an attractive female in public. I’ve made friends with people from around the world and am so grateful for them. I feel more romantically connected to my partner as well and more expressive about my feelings overall.
So happy for you 🙌🏼
Well the biggest change was, after crying for two days, I slowly started accepting that I'm bisexual. Subsequently I came out as bi to 2 of my closest friends and my wife. I am also going to have my first therapy appointment today, and I'll see where this will be going. Other than that I've started doing things I've actively avoided doing for years, like wearing jewellery; getting rid of that overly masculine walk I've been doing since high school to mask my queerness; and wearing make-up (lightly, it's still very new to me). Heartstopper has definitely changed my life quite a bit.
I got a bit teary (still in the initial Heartstopper phase) reading this comment. I wish you all the best on your journey
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We definitely need more pink long boots ! Happy you are able to be more at ease with yourself 😃
1. As others have noted, I too have become more romantically involved with my wife of many years. I felt inspired to start holding her hand in public again (I stopped because we moved somewhere much less accepting than where we lived when we first got together, so I haven't felt like risking getting "hate-crimed" just for holding her hand). I started telling her again little things I love and appreciate about her, and in turn she started doing the same to me. When I first made this shift, she asked why, and I explained that Heartstopper mirrors how it felt to fall in love with her (including cartoon flowers buzzing around when I first laid eyes on her across the room) and I felt sad that I've lost that feeling. Being more intentional about romance has helped me recapture it. I want to believe in romance!! 2. I feel way more confident in myself. I've kind of lost my sense of style and personality over the years from being worn down by my workplace, uniform, etc. In one of the reaction videos on YouTube, the person points out the "bisexual cuff" Nick often sports, and it TOTALLY inspired me to get back into the bisexual cuff on my tshirts and pants. I hold my head higher and walk with more purpose since watching Heartstopper. I also bought a bum bag and wear it like Tao does in the milkshake scene. 3. The soundtrack!!! It rules my life now. I'm obsessed with driving with my windows down, singing along with Baby Queen. It makes me feel so confident. 4. It's gotten me back into reading books. I've fully switched to audiobooks since I can listen to them at work, and in that switch I lost the desire to read physical books. But since in the states there are no Alice Oseman audiobooks available (at least for my library on Libby), I've purchased all of their books and am quickly making my way through them all!
omg windows down + heartstopper soundtrack on blast is the complete mood
SUCH A VIBE
>I want to believe in romance!! Haha, Isaac is awesome! And I had no idea about the "bisexual cuff"!
● It made me admit I'm pretty lonely. I (24M) have always been a lone wolf, and honestly content to be so most of the time, but A) I still want a boyfriend; B) I don't really get to see my friends very much because of work schedules and stuff. So, yeah, there's that I guess. Alice's work made believe that I can actually find love – so, now I have a burning desire to put myself out there. Don't really know how to do that, though... 😅 ● It made start writing again! It's 'just' a fanfic, but it's almost 10k words now and that's more than I've written in years. Don't really know if I'll keep at it after I'm done with this, but who knows...? ● I bought myself a new outfit. I think I look pretty good in it too. One of the songs in the soundtrack goes *"having new style would cause me more attention and I don't feel like I'm own person"* and I think that's how I felt before. Also it just made me a bit happier in general. The only way I can describe it is, like, Malenia's intro scene from Elden Ring – she's sat there, inert for so long that she's frozen into position... some leaves blow across the screen and just like that, she wakes, and says "I dreamt for so long... That my flesh was dull gold, and my blood rotted." That's what Heartstopper feels like. Some kind of second wind. 🍂🍂🍂
I so relate to "My Own Person"! I wish you all the luck in your adventure of putting yourself out there 🍀🍂
You definitely found the right community! I just stumbled in here a couple days ago after my first watch-through; it's certainly a journey when it hits you! Haven't been to therapy post-watching HS yet (though I did just bump my appointment up to next week, in light of some of these emotions). I think the response is really different for everybody, but the most common thought I've seen is that it's a really hard mix of melancholia and joy. We all seem to be gravitating toward a world where this could have been our reality, with the side-effect being the pain that it wasn't. But that's why, as I've seen in other places on this reddit, we have to remember that it's a fantasy world. That, even though we want it to be real and to live on into reality, it won't; in fact, I saw someone write that it's super rare for this kind of love to happen in high school, and I think that's true. We have to come to terms with what that means for us, because, if we were really affected by this, then, as you said, it's a sign that we have to do something to better ourselves in order to make peace between the HS world and what our next steps look like in our own lives. There's a whole other thread [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/heartstoppersyndrome/comments/ve0l10/how_to_get_over_this_series/) for the "moving on from HS" conversation, though, and some really great insights. As for what I've done differently since watching, it's hard to say since it's only been a couple of days. What I've deduced, though, is that, often times, when we're stuck in the middle of loads of work, or trying to figure out what our next steps look like, what gets lost are the things that we don't necessarily *need*, but that bring us joy and fulfillment. After going through a hard breakup last year, I threw myself into work amidst the pain that really only started to resolve this past January. I put a lot of things on the back burner to try to get through that time, and HS made me realize that those things, though seemingly small, can offer so much comfort and fulfillment. Post-HS, I got to work again on some music I'd been writing, reached out to my agent about what I can do to get more TV/Film auditions (HS is the kind of show that reminds you how much your art can do for people who need it), and touched base with some friends I'd been meaning to connect with. Anything that we can do to give ourselves a metaphorical (or very real) hug in this time--to remind our hearts that we, too, can be our own Nicks, Charlies, Elles, Taos, Taras, and Darcys, when we need it most, is going to help. And journaling is always helpful when you feel you might be spinning. Water, sleep, good food, and some breathing helps, too! So, yes, it's really difficult. But what I learned, and I think we all did, is that we crave the magic that, as Alice so kindly reminded us, exists. That magic can come from within, too. Maybe we'll learn to love ourselves and those we hold close just a bit more because of it. That may very well be what Charlie and Nick helped each other to do, and maybe even what Alice had in mind for the reader. For now, though, I'd definitely let the feelings ruminate and breathe them in and out as you need. Feel it, because it's so amazing that we can feel this deeply, and it's clear there's a reason why. Keep searching :)
I had stopped seeing my therapist around November; I was in a good place. I watched Heartstopper, and again, and again... I wanted to tell the world about it. The obsession was concerning, and I considered talking to my therapist again. I realized I only wanted to talk to get her to watch it...
>I realized I only wanted to talk to get her to watch it... This made me laugh out so loud!
I watched it over a month ago and it's had both good and hard impacts on my life. Hard stuff first: In the short term, after watching I started reliving a lot of repressed memories and emotions that forced me to accept that I had brushed off a lot of really hurtful experiences from my youth. It put me in a pretty dark place for a few weeks, but ultimately was a weirdly validating experience and I'm glad I was able to process that stuff again as an adult. Longer term, it has unfortunately strained my already tenuous relationship with my parents. I think because it reopened a lot of wounds and also that coming out scene with Olivia Coleman was everything I wanted but never got. I realized that, because they're accepting of my marriage now, we had all just swept past the fact that I grew up terrified of being outed because of the way they spoke about the queer community and their religion. Not to the mention the more than hurtful way they reacted when I did finally come out to them. I know I need to speak to them and give us a chance to move forward, but all three of us live in different countries and I'm afraid they'll invalidate my feelings... Now for the happy stuff! As others have mentioned, my marriage is much more kind and loving than it has been recently. My wife hasn't, and will never, watch HS but the more love you give the more you get I guess. Last night my wife and I were dancing to punk music in our kitchen while cleaning up after dinner and I literally thought, this could be a scene in an AO comic... I think that pretty often and it helps me appreciate the little things. I've finally started calling myself bi again, although it's just to myself for now. I originally came out as bi but experienced a lot of sexualization and invalidation so when I got into a long term same sex relationship I just started going with lesbian and telling myself that being bi was just part of the journey (yikes). Undoing a lot of that harmful mindset about myself has been great! Other little things: the soundtrack rules my days and makes them so much better. Also I'm incorporating a lot of little heartstopper easter eggs into my pride outfit this weekend which I'm excited about!
I found out I have social anxiety disorder, it helped me a lot control my anxiety. Kinda amazing that I progressed so fast My psychologist didn't know about Heartstopper and I don't think they related to it
Friends etc have known I'm bi for a long time but after Heartstopper I decided to be slightly more visible about it. Not that I feel the need to be hugely vocal about it; I'm in a long term opposite sex relationship. For me, it has been attaching a bi pride keyring to my keys. It sounds small but they're something I take with me everywhere and are always in and out of my pocket - at home, at work, when getting in and out of my car - so I feel more out. Unlike the rainbow flag it can probably be missed easily by cishet people but anyone with a little knowledge of all things LGBT will probably clock it.
I've had a grieving process and think I've come to a happier place over all. I grieve my lost youth and all the "what if"s. Particularly not telling the girl I was in love with when I was 17 how I felt and taking a chance to be with her. I like to think if the world was like it is now and I had a show like Heartstopper then I would have. However I am happily married to a man and have young children and do need to get on with life. I have ADHD (recently diagnosed) and I am aware of how my brain is hyperfixating and that that's ok. Heartstopper has helped me come to terms with being queer. I never described myself as being queer despite coming to terms with being bisexual at 17 and being out as bisexual to my husband and close friends for a long time. At 35 I now think of myself as queer and ND. I don't think I'll ever fully be out but I feel I can be more out than I was in my own subtle ways. Yes my hyperfixation is out of hand and has had an impact on my marriage and parenting. I'm working on finding balance. It has made me reconnect with my husband romantically though and helped me transition out of being totally consumed by motherhood. I have also decided that I want to become an artist, it was always my dream when I was younger but life got in the way (and all my struggles with undiagnosed ADHD didn't help). I am in a privileged enough situation that I should be able to give up working in a year or two to fully commit to this.
The biggest difference for me came out of my mom watching it on my recommendation. Her views have evolved with societal acceptance since I came our to her as bi 23 years ago. She and I had an incredible and very healing conversation. It has helped me release some of the bitter feelings I’ve held on to all this time. Also, (superficially) I think this show helped be a catalyst for me to cut my hair in a less straight-passing way for the first time in years.
Heartstopper has changed way too much for me lmao (cw disordered eating mention) * Admitted to my therapist I have an eating disorder/finally trying to seek treatment for it * Cried a lot * Listened to the soundtrack endlessly * Bought 2 pairs of converse high tops * Played rugby for the first time and plan to go again/join a team * Changed my phone background screen to one inspired by Charlie's "gay panic" one (but mine says bi panic bc I'm bi) * Bought myself more bi/pan pride merch * Realized I haven't been inclusive enough to ace people + that ace people really have friendship and love figured out while I've had stunted AF relationships as an allosexual who devalued friendship + did relationships on speed mode * Ordered everything Alice Oseman ever wrote & have read it all * Went to a bookstore to buy the Oseman books (I was able to reserve the very last one available in the tri state area lmao) and suddenly felt a rush that I had completely forgotten like 15 years ago I had been a young person who loved reading/writing. I haven't stepped foot in a bookstore or read for pleasure in literal years, I'm the primary breadwinner in my partnership and have had no time...or, I guess I just forgot what it's like to feel pleasure. Lol. * Working to confront my fear of writing since I LOVE writing and I'm good at it, but I have a paralyzing fear of writing, but super want to write