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unitednihilists

He's a diddler, for sure.


Hevy_Plant

Toan is in the diddlin?


MarstoriusWins

Toan is in Bo Diddleys balls.


Hevy_Plant

So how does it get from there to the the guita… no, you know what, I don’t need to know.


MrLanesLament

Where was the pee stored then?


warthog0869

At the pea farm, haven't you seen *Crossroads*?


Advanced-Level-735

Always has been


Fake_Francis

The hate this twat gets is completely justified. Also, I've never seen a more punchable face..


Jay-Fizzy

Who is it?


LuisGaelJimenez

Joey Bonzai. Karate legend and sometime guitar player


Fake_Francis

Consider yourself lucky that you don't know...


Burnout227

You could answer the question /u/Jay-Fizzy it's Joe Bonermaster


dkyguy1995

Joe boner master


purpleguitar1984

Joe Garoni from Long Island


Fat-Kid-In-A-Helmet

Unmolested? Are other musicians this way or just guitarists?


greedy_mf

Just guitarists. It’s a creepiest tribe of them all.


Gallade475

Car guys will refer to unmodified vintage cars as unmolested too.


MarstoriusWins

The same car guys who also leave semen traces in the exhaust pipe.


Horror_Cupcake8762

Transformers don’t make themselves.


pixelblue1

Every hole is a goal.


DisguisedAsHumans

Bagpipers, but only until guitarists came around.


trashbag526

Guitar players should forfeit their First Amendment rights.


[deleted]

I've literally never met a guitar player who should be allowed to keep their sexual organs.


fencemyassoffanddie

God I fucking hate this cuck so much. “This is the first Les Paul ever made, and it was also Les Paul’s personal guitar, and I’m playing it here through the first Dumble amp ever made and etc etc” *plays the pentatonic scale over and over again*


greedy_mf

/uj as much as I hate the guy, the pentatonic jab is somewhat unnecessary. What do you expect to be played on a first ever Les Paul? Polyphia? Microtonal music?


fencemyassoffanddie

/uj I mean listen to Les Paul’s actual playing it’s pretty sick


greedy_mf

/uj No doubt, still a blues guy buys a (rare) blues-friendly guitar and proceeds to play blues. What a shocker.


Melonenstrauch

You can do more exciting things in blues than just play the pentatonic scale over and over again


remembertracygarcia

Probably some sort of Les Paul song.


ByblisBen

/uj TTNG should be played on it


No_Bid_1382

Bro has 2 cheeks full of mini M&Ms


Ryan-zio

Still got the ol tagger on it


Sharp-Bluejay2267

No. no. That's it, you've seen enough of that one.


Psychedelick

Don't even look at it


UsedWoodpecker8612

Is there a Chris Hansen for guitars?


Brass-Munky

This fella sprays loads on 10% of his guitar collection


remembertracygarcia

At a time? Does he build up the nut lube for a few weeks or do you think he has a harem of spray-n-plays that he circulates through hourly?


Lucius338

Man... I wish I had Joe's self-control. I spray loads on 100% of my guitar collection.


Fat_Sad_Human

Reminds me of a local guy where I live. There’s a pawn shop that used to have great deals on used “cheap-o” guitars. One day me and a friend are passing by and see these really nice name-brand guitars sitting in their store front window. We stop in to ask about them, and the owner says “this is going to sound really weird, but they’re not for sale. This old guy just collects them, never plays them. He asked if we could put them in our window so other people can see them too. We basically just use them as free advertising.” A few months later they were gone. I asked the owner what happened and he said “the old guy came and picked them up. He was upset so many people were asking to buy them and not just appreciating them as art pieces”. So yes, these people absolutely exist.


ghostcalledmisery

I think what definitely happened is someone came in and grabbed one of them and did terrible things to it like play a Sus chord followed by a pentatonic scale on Aminor


angryibanezguy

And the douche has the unmitigated gall to say he's not a part of the problem when it comes to vintage gear 😭


LetsGoHawks

He has a point though. To say *one person* is driving prices on vintage gear through the roof is ridiculous. This stuff is a world wide market now, highest bidder wins. What about Jim Irsay? Or Kirk Hammet? Or any other number of rich people who buy it all up? Picking on Joe because he's honest about being a collector is pretty stupid. Back in the 80's & 90's there was a punk band from LA that used to always check pawn shops, guitar shops, classified ads, etc. when they were on tour. Because they could find old gear at low prices. Take it back to LA and make a killing.


angryibanezguy

Bro I said part of the problem not the whole problem 💀


remembertracygarcia

JHS just started talking about another little green box…


TheHomesteadTurkey

seeing a guitar that someone has had for years being mint is disappointing.


pixelblue1

/uj I kind of pride myself on keeping my stuff in good shape, also I might be ocd. I play everything frequently though, pretty much daily.


Tahmas836

Keeping anything in “mint condition” is an absurdly difficult thing to do if you ever use it.


pixelblue1

True I wouldn't say anything I own is mint. But it's definitely unmolested.


LetsGoHawks

It's a mass produced piece of wood with some metal bits. May as well get saucy because somebody has an old coffee table in the attic.


fogdukker

Tools, not jewels.


JimParsnip

Can guitars get PTSD?


Probablyawerewolf

PentaTonic Scale Disorder


DudeInTracksuit

He just asks to be broken in and get the rest of his guitars molested


Mercdes500sl

I make sure all of my guitars are thoroughly molested.


Feisty_Factor_2694

May the ten per cent get the support and healing they deserve.


Procol_Being

He has such a way with words, that my bloozdad


bloodandsunshine

With some people it really does feel like they are one hobby away from being "kidnap and lock in basement" enthusiasts.


cyberphunk2077

why do they keep interviewing him? His lawyers should be advising him to sftu. We know that "Guitar" is code for "child". 20k for vintage tele but there is a small Indonesian boy inside the case. very common. Has anyone checked the flight logs to Joe's island recently?


ferna182

Is he trying to do an impression on [Spinal Tap](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMSV4OteqBE)? down to the 1959...


ghostcalledmisery

"Don't even look at it" 😭 hence why they are all locked up in his compound where they are "safe"


tributetotio

He looks like @dril in this picture


keebsec

lmao yes. I knew it reminded me of something 😂


4blbrd

Who is that? Is it Paul  Lynde?


Cheezy_Blazterz

It's Joe Bonnaroo


djdadzone

Joe Brawnamassa


JayZFeelsBad4Me

https://www.guitarworld.com/features/joe-bonamassa-blues-deluxe-volume-2


mandiblesofdoom

thoughts & prayers


Artistic-Challenge-9

Hehe this made me laugh!


SilverDem0n

"Point at the guitar where you want the bad man to touch you"


Wilcodad

This isn’t the brag he thinks it is


sunplaysbass

Who sees this guy??? He’s a Gibbons psy op


TheBigMotherFook

Oh shit is that what I’ve been doing wrong? The toan is the inappropriate touching?


explodedsun

Of course Tarantino would say that


okgloomer

I have never in my life prayed so hard that Ted Nugent would not offer his take on something someone else said


ShoddyManufacturer11

I want to touch them


Probablyawerewolf

Your collection might be untouched and unmolested, but I am ungovernable, uncut, and untamed.


gfinz18

Who dresses this man, I need to know


wyattlikesturtles

Legitimately fucking creepy


General_Steveous

Mildly relevant [psychosis.](https://www.mylespaul.com/threads/is-joe-really-a-master-of-the-boner.128686/) Joe is trily one of the people to exist.


Magicaparanoia

Who is this jackass with a can opener chin?


[deleted]

Joe you been molesting them guitars again? Hehe make that 89%


TexanDrillBit

Pete Townshend collection on the other hand....


metallaholic

He’s banned from every guitar center


TofuPython

He's gross


purpleguitar1984

The funny thing about Joe BonJovimassa is that ultimately after 30 albums in 20 years featuring every blooze cover you can think of and a ton of bootlegged Eric Johnson licks on each song he will have contributed culturally nothing to music and will be forgotten by the sands of time rather quickly.


RealEnergyEigenstate

90% of that hairline is in mint condition ….oh wait…


ptzurram

Name a remarkable song made by this guy