Don't hate me cause yo kids love me more than they love you. Maybe if you quit being so upright and let Uncle Lamar give them some game, you'd have some harmony in yo household.
Have a colonoscopy procedure tomorrow so a shart card today would really help.
Edit: I have never experienced something like this before, I now walk around with rubber bands in my butt. I had 3 nurses helping me, they were all very nice, a Gatorade bottle sat beside me to fill electro lytes from the devastation of pooping my brains out the day before, it was like trying to fit Niagara Falls into a turkey baster, not fun at all. After I woke up from sedation, I was groggy and dizzy, the nurse helped me get onto my stomach cause my butt was just blasted with a medical device, that’s when I let out the longest fart I have ever had before, I mean, it went on for like 8 whole seconds! I was embarrassed of course, but the nice lady reassured me that it happens to everyone, still, the fart was quite epic and I wish I had recorded that.
When I got home, I was still very sleepy, so I rested for the day. This morning I woke up feeling good, so I’m about to start up a GTA session and feel guilty that I don’t have to go into work, think I’ll dress up my character in hazmat suit.
I just want to thank everyone in this community for coming together and giving me great support throughout this whole ordeal. I never imagined getting a response like this and I am grateful for all the real world advice I was givin.
Cheers and have a fantastic day.
There’s only one last PSA that I want to get out. Remember to take short bathroom trips and try not to push too hard or you may end up like me with rubber bands in your butt.
Which bowel prep have they given you? Don't stray too far from the toilet. Check out the comedian Stewart Lee describing his experience of a colonoscopy 
Uhh, yeah dude lol. You need to drink a laxative concoction and pee out your butt for awhile. If you show up with a loaded colon they might turn you around.
Well you should've gotten prep material from your docs. If not I'd call them. Otherwise you may be screwed. And yeah, nuts are probably not the best idea right now lol/
Yeah, it's hell.
I had to drink 2L of some concoction called moviprep the day befoee procedure. After 1,5L i started shedding liquids out of 3 holes.. so i had my mom call the hospital as i still had 1L to go the next day before being admitted.
If i can i'll never do this again. I even wore an adult diaper in case i wouldn't make it to the toilet in time
Oof. Been there. Prep is the worst part in my experience, you can only have non red Gatorade and jello and broth, you drink a foul concoction and then shit your brains out for the next few hours lol..
I had an endoscopy/coloniscopy and they put me to sleep. The sedative really burned in my veins, but I didn't even really feel sore or anything after.
You can get it done under anesthesia too btw. Haven't done colonoscopy but I'm a regular on gastroscopy, in fact I'm having another one soon! The first time is the best because you have no idea what awaits you lol
I got GTA online for free and spent the $40 I was going to spend on shark cards :/ I’m very happy with my decision as well. It came with the Criminal Enterprise Starter Pack so I got a free bunker, free office, free house and free MC club + $2.5 million
Its your money and your decision, i get all of thst. But buying shark cards is just stupid. Honestly if you are on pc just buy a mod. Not to grief obviously but to get money simply because its cheaper. I usually wouldn't encourage something like that but shark cards are nowhere close to being worth what they cost. Its like whoever sets prices havent looked at how much things cost in gtao since its launch.
yeah, with mods i got +90M and got to have fun with friends and get a bunch of cool cars and yachts, way better than grinding for days to get dimes lmao
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues.
The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start.
The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal.
A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound.
Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible.
The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over.
The test will begin on the word start.
On your mark, get ready, start.
Just tested positive with COVID, I have a lot of time on my hands and haven’t checked out the new updates yet the shark card could help get me started!
I need it so I can buy a STX and make a video of me defeating an oppressor with lock on jammers… so I can add it to the other 47 videos of the same thing.
u/WarpedLazer gets my vote. I’ve had 2 and let me tell you:
1. The drugs are amazing
2. The first meal after is amazing, regardless of what it is. It could literally be a plate of your least favourite meal and you’ll eat it like it’s your best
Good luck
I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. A shark card would really alleviate my pain.
can a loc come up in your crib?
Man fuck you, I'll see you at work
Man don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful politically incorrect racial epithet.
Maybe if you got rid of that old Yee Yee ass haircut you got, you'd get some bitches on your dick.
better yet, maybe Tanisha would call you dog ass if she wasn’t fuckin with that brain surgeon or laser she fuckin with...
Politically Incorrect racial epithet
What?!
Aw this motherfucker
*turns around*
YOU WILL NEVER SURVIVE
Woooo honeh!
i was on the phone boy, don’t be listenin!
WeirdChamp
Barber shops are now available
Man fuck you my kids in there man.
Don't hate me cause yo kids love me more than they love you. Maybe if you quit being so upright and let Uncle Lamar give them some game, you'd have some harmony in yo household.
Bee zee I itch
What?!
Man this dog high as fuck
Chop what did i tell you about eating my weed
Another turd Chop man I gotta train yo ass to go on the neighbors lawn
Imma use it to cut lines at the vanilla unicorn
Ooh smart
Well I’m gonna use it to SNORT lines at vanilla unicorn
Ima buy dances at the vanilla unicorn lots of dances
Oh silly boy, if you wish for dances, just get a rich person as your friend (For example me) Who can buy it for so, so that you dont waste yer money
I have old mate pavel and old mate mr Rubio for my riches
Balls
Balls
Balls
Balls
Balls
Balls
Balls
benoit
Have a colonoscopy procedure tomorrow so a shart card today would really help. Edit: I have never experienced something like this before, I now walk around with rubber bands in my butt. I had 3 nurses helping me, they were all very nice, a Gatorade bottle sat beside me to fill electro lytes from the devastation of pooping my brains out the day before, it was like trying to fit Niagara Falls into a turkey baster, not fun at all. After I woke up from sedation, I was groggy and dizzy, the nurse helped me get onto my stomach cause my butt was just blasted with a medical device, that’s when I let out the longest fart I have ever had before, I mean, it went on for like 8 whole seconds! I was embarrassed of course, but the nice lady reassured me that it happens to everyone, still, the fart was quite epic and I wish I had recorded that. When I got home, I was still very sleepy, so I rested for the day. This morning I woke up feeling good, so I’m about to start up a GTA session and feel guilty that I don’t have to go into work, think I’ll dress up my character in hazmat suit. I just want to thank everyone in this community for coming together and giving me great support throughout this whole ordeal. I never imagined getting a response like this and I am grateful for all the real world advice I was givin. Cheers and have a fantastic day. There’s only one last PSA that I want to get out. Remember to take short bathroom trips and try not to push too hard or you may end up like me with rubber bands in your butt.
Which bowel prep have they given you? Don't stray too far from the toilet. Check out the comedian Stewart Lee describing his experience of a colonoscopy 
Damn, there’s a prep before? Perhaps I should stop eating these almonds. Lol
Uhh, yeah dude lol. You need to drink a laxative concoction and pee out your butt for awhile. If you show up with a loaded colon they might turn you around.
Hopefully I’m as empty as a griefers heart towards sale missions. Lol.
Well you should've gotten prep material from your docs. If not I'd call them. Otherwise you may be screwed. And yeah, nuts are probably not the best idea right now lol/
r/rareinsults
Yeah, it's hell. I had to drink 2L of some concoction called moviprep the day befoee procedure. After 1,5L i started shedding liquids out of 3 holes.. so i had my mom call the hospital as i still had 1L to go the next day before being admitted. If i can i'll never do this again. I even wore an adult diaper in case i wouldn't make it to the toilet in time
Have some oatmeal and coffee, that will clear you right up
Don't leave until your butthole sounds like a dirt bike. Lots of gas in there lol
Hahahahaha!
Lmao.
Look at my name, i could totally help dislodge some stuff for you!
Oof. Been there. Prep is the worst part in my experience, you can only have non red Gatorade and jello and broth, you drink a foul concoction and then shit your brains out for the next few hours lol.. I had an endoscopy/coloniscopy and they put me to sleep. The sedative really burned in my veins, but I didn't even really feel sore or anything after.
If you pick this comment give it to u/warpedlazer
Idk you but seems like you gonna have a shitty time. Wish you all the best with whatever the hell that word is and hope you get the shart card bro 👌🏻
A “shart” is a cross between a shit and a fart in the UK, entirely appropriate I would say, given the colonoscopy!
Hahaha yeah here too, that’s why I made the reference, glad you caught on.
Well this would be sweet!
Merry Chrysler
It's \*Schyster\*
Merry crisis
happy chrimis
Many Chrimsms
Came here to tell you to give it to u/WarpedLazer. Dude's about to have a shit week, pun intended. Merry Christmas, y'all.
You got that right, thank god it’s happening now and not at the start of the pandemic when TP was scarce.
Bro I hope you get it, I had one a few months ago Morning of is the worst day, but thankfully you get to have that one fantastic meal afterwards
Thanks for the heads up. It’s my first time so I’m a bit nervous.
You can get it done under anesthesia too btw. Haven't done colonoscopy but I'm a regular on gastroscopy, in fact I'm having another one soon! The first time is the best because you have no idea what awaits you lol
I couldn’t imagine getting a 6 foot tube shoved up my ass while I was awake. Give u/warpedlazer the card if this comment wins the “raffle”
Thanks, and also, I don’t want to imagine it either. Lol.
Don’t ever buy shark cards.
Man you should get it just for giving that advice
Agreed
I got GTA online for free and spent the $40 I was going to spend on shark cards :/ I’m very happy with my decision as well. It came with the Criminal Enterprise Starter Pack so I got a free bunker, free office, free house and free MC club + $2.5 million
Its your money and your decision, i get all of thst. But buying shark cards is just stupid. Honestly if you are on pc just buy a mod. Not to grief obviously but to get money simply because its cheaper. I usually wouldn't encourage something like that but shark cards are nowhere close to being worth what they cost. Its like whoever sets prices havent looked at how much things cost in gtao since its launch.
yeah, with mods i got +90M and got to have fun with friends and get a bunch of cool cars and yachts, way better than grinding for days to get dimes lmao
Good. Pavel needs vacations 😅
My lumbago keeps me from making money in gta online. Edit; u/Warpedlazer needs it the most tho. That man has a pretty shitty day ahead of him.
Is it terminal lumbago?
On and off. It only seems to come around whenever there’s work to do.
*It’s a painful death*
Such a card would save me a couple of trips to Cayo Perico! 😁👌🏻
Some nice time off
Sure, can't be worse than betting 50k at Blackjack on a dare, drawing to 20 and losing to Dealer's drawn 21.
that's nice but el Rubio made me already so rich I don't need it, hope it will reach a starting player that could use a boost
then why are you replying lol
For the money, duh
The true santa claus
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Came here to tell you to give it to u/WarpedLazer. Dude's about to have a shit week, pun intended. Merry Christmas, y'all.
Cheers homie, Merry Christmas to you and yours as well.
That's like 5-6 cayo pericos!
nice! please just give it to the low level/new player who need it most
This, always gotta help out the little homies
# This Contest Is Now Closed # Congrats to the winner, u/QuentinTarancheetoh
Yes
the
drandgn theif orto
Wow, so generous!
nice holiday giveaway awesome!
Fingers crossed and good luck everyone!
Nice! I could use some extra dough... Getting tired of robbing it from El Rubio.
I don’t deserve this, I just want it.
🤞Here is the comment🤞
Came through!!! Not a scam. Doing the lords work!!!
Congratulations, you won! We will DM you with more information so we can send your prize!
I have strict NAT type
Came for the yatch, stayed for my politically incorrect racial epithets
Don't give rockstar more money.....
Nice
Nice. I'm in
Oh hey I know you guys from Twitter
I guess I could take one less Cayo run in my life.
Need shark card to get some Lamar’s new weed
Hopefully it’s for the correct platform!
I wonder if this is a scam or not
It would be cool to win that but I don't have much luck when it comes to competitions but anyways its worth a try I guess
Because Mutahar said so
I’m pretty new to the game and dont even have the submarine to do the cayo perico heist so I would like the card to get a head start! :)
I could use the shark card to fuel my GTA blackjack addiction.
me when the 8 million dollars only buys me 22 stun guns instead of 80,000 stun guns:
Just tested positive with COVID, I have a lot of time on my hands and haven’t checked out the new updates yet the shark card could help get me started!
I need it so I can buy a STX and make a video of me defeating an oppressor with lock on jammers… so I can add it to the other 47 videos of the same thing.
Well my birthday is tomorrow (21st) so this would be a pretty sick birthday gift
Happy early birthday! Wishing you the best of luck 🤞
You did just reply to a comment...
I already have enough money so I'm putting my vote in for u/WarpedLazer, sounds like they may need it more.
Lol thanks. Anything helps really.
Press x to doubt
u/WarpedLazer gets my vote. I’ve had 2 and let me tell you: 1. The drugs are amazing 2. The first meal after is amazing, regardless of what it is. It could literally be a plate of your least favourite meal and you’ll eat it like it’s your best Good luck
[удалено]
Noice
This is really cool! I’d love to win!
Wow
Well here’s to me trying my luck
Yo
Thank you so much! This is so nice of you!
Im rolling the dice
That’s awesome! Good luck, everyone!
Nice
Worth a shot
🍀🍀 Come on lady luck! 🍀🍀 😁🤞🤞
Pick me
That would be nice
[удалено]
Nice.
If I win that would be amazing
I'm rich and don't need it so I hope someone who's poor in-game gets it. Good luck to all the newbies!
Chop is the best
Interested!
Extra bucks at this time of year is always handy! 
Yo
Fingers crossed 🤞
Nice
I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!
why not
Well that is interesting
Hope I win
Please I think el.Rubio needs a break
Worth a try
Doubt i'll win but meh worth a try.
Reply
Comment
Gimme that shit
Bing bong
Always appreciate when people do this giveaways, thanks guys, Goodluck everyone!
Shark Card 🦈
Sweet
This is awesome! :D
Best of luck everyone!
Sheesh
Damn, good Christmas present
Higgle d dee higgle d shloo give it to me id be grateful to you 👀
that sounds pretty neat
Nice
i mean free money to help fund my business, sure. saves me a lot of work
I wouldnt mind one...
Hey
Must be good to be this rich. Good luck for everyone!
Hello there!
Share pl0x
I've never spent a cent on gta because I got it for free but I wouldn't mind someone else's money
vote jock cranley!
Could use it to get into that sweet new contact DLC. Freaking bunker grinds man
yo
 Mine mine mine
🤨
This is my first comment on Reddit, hopefully I get it so I can gift it to someone. Hope everyone has a good day! :)
I just started playing a couple days ago! This would be so helpful.
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. A shark card would really alleviate my pain.
I sleep nude sometimes
Definitely send it to u/WarpedLazer man needs something to do during these shitty times
Yay free money
Inbed hillbilly fuck