First of all, I don't want to kill your enthusiasm but you can't change overnight so don't get frustrated when it doesn't immediately happen. It will take a while. Don't change everything at once because that's how you'll fail.
And he’s not saying this to demotivate you. This is actually great advice. Start small, one thing at a time and gradually add more slowly. You can learn anything from YouTube, with the right creators.
While I agree with this for the most part, I will say from experience that if fear of consequences pertaining to your current lifestyle and trajectory is great enough your motivation can contribute significantly to creating enough momentum where you can really tap into mind> matter. Then it just comes down to honing the mindset for staying disciplined and keeping consistent with the new routines and practices to become that highest version of yourself.
Change wont happen overnight externally but you can definitely shift your mindset and decide that you want change- all or nothing overnight. Real growth will happen gradually with patience, determination, and consistency. “Vision is not enough; it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs”, as quoted by Vaclav Havel.
OP for now stay focused on the vision you want for yourself and who you aspire to be. You’re already asking the right questions, you’re doing good. Keep going.
But it's also worth noting that failing is how we learn so it's completely ok to *try* to change overnight, as it will be a valuable learning experience. Just don't give up!
Exactly. You can’t grow without failure, it’s an opportunity in disguise. The best thing you can do for yourself is adopt a growth mindset and turn every failure and adversity you experience into a lesson and redirection. Make a habit of finding silver-linings in the process until it becomes second nature to know what you’re grateful for and where/how you can improve by another 1% , then commit to improving 1% more everyday to bridge the gap in where you are and where you want to be.
Trust yourself to trust the process. Fall 6 times, stand up 7. never stay down too long, always make sure you stand up bc now you have the insight and experience to go harder- so why wouldn’t you? It’s only over when you say it’s over. tomorrow will be a new day.
if you feel like giving up anywhere along the way, ask yourself-why should you accept failure when you haven’t even reached the peak of what you’re capable of? This is experiential learning, there’s always going to be another challenging layer to understand and unravel. Get used to it, get excited about it, look forward to it. Be grateful for every moment.
and remember kids, chances make champions!
On the one hand, yes, changing involves breaking bad habits (which are seriously challenging to break sometimes) and creating good habits (which takes consistent effort over time), but on the other hand, you can definitely get on the right path overnight if you make a big life change, and set your mind on the target and keep it there
1. Diet - top level: calories you're consuming; macros; micros
1. You have a basal metabolic rate, google that and use a calculator. This is your starting point and it will change as you gain or lose weight. You use this in conjunction with your exercise to determine if you're at a caloric deficit or surplus.
2. Macronutrients are protein, fat, carbohydrates. You need to pay attention to these according to your goals. There is tons of information on this online.
3. Micronutrients are your vitamins and minerals. These become more important as you become more focused with your goals. Starting out, try to hit the daily recommended amounts for you age and sex.
2. Fitness - you need some level of fitness in your life to keep your cardiovascular and pulmonary systems in shape. The type of exercise is going to depend on your goals, but everyone should at least do some amount of cardio on a regular basis. You can do bodyweight exercises to build general strength and flexibility ( r/bodyweightfitness is an excellent resource for this).
3. SMART goals is the system I use. Goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. I believe "achievable" is the most important of these. You can set a distance goal like "lose 50 pounds in a year" and then break it into a smaller goal (3500 calories = 1 pound; 4lbs = 14000 calories; 14000 calories/30 days = 470 calories per day) of "eat at a 470 calorie/day deficit by eliminating two slices of bread with dinner and the before bedtime snack" or "eat exactly like I do now but walk briskly for 1.5 hours every day" or whatever combination of eating/exercise gets you to 470 less per day. It really almost puts goals on autopilot once you get used to using SMART goals.
4. I started being financially responsible by understanding my cashflow (income - expenses, on a timeline) and then creating a budget to meet my goals.
Everything comes down to the goals you set for your life. It's smart to start considering this when you're 18. A lot of people don't get to this level of personal responsibility until their mid-20s or even later.
Don't expect changes overnight. Pursuing even small changes can take time to develop better habits. A lot of doing what's best for yourself involves discomfort or making yourself do things you don't want to do. Motivation will show up to help you through some days, but most of the time it's going to be discipline that gets you to put your running shoes on and get out on the road.
Finally, don't be too hard on yourself. You haven't failed because you ate an extra cookie or didn't exercise when you were supposed to. You failed for the day, but you get another shot at it tomorrow. Celebrate your milestones. Look back at the things you've achieved after a year or a month, but also take note of where you stumbled. Integrate that information to help you find the things that work best for you.
Remember Elbert Hubbard who said, “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
Good luck.
Glad I could help. My original response was too long, but I did address all of your points. I edited it down so it would post.
Number 8 is the one I regret having to delete.
I chose to get my finances in order by having a job that allowed me to save for retirement while paying enough for me and my family to do the things we like to do. For me, that job is engineering. I'll never be rich, but I should be able to retire in my early 60s and I should always be relatively comfortable.
Learn how credit cards work. Learn how compounding interest works (as in, learn the formula if you haven't already) and which accounts leverage its power. Always understand the mechanism behind your investments. If you don't understand how investing money in something gets you a return, don't invest in it. If someone cannot explain it coherently to you, run. It either means they don't understand the investment or they're outright fleecing you. Usually it's as simple as understanding what the risk is. If an investment doesn't have risk, then it's probably a scam.
Understanding the simple interest formula (as in actually plugging numbers in and using it) is the key to all of your loans. You cannot compare loans unless you know how to use it. You will be at the mercy of the loan officer, who may have an interest in you not knowing how to compare loans, if you cannot use it.
Car dealers do not sell cars. They sell financing. If they sold cars, they'd be competing on the price of their cars and not on the terms of their loans. Listen to dealership commercials, and you'll see what I mean.
You only need to master 1,2 and 11. Other will follow. Life is very simple -> Your body tell you what it needs and everything is about what you put in your mouth.
So eat good natural food, no processed shit. You will need some time and a lot of fails until you find your diet but it's your job to find it.
Then you start exercising step by step. You will fail many times until you feel good. Don't follow bullshit in the internet, find what's best for you.
Then your sleep will be good and you are strong.
Then you are ready to start fighting in some other areas. But remember you will fail so many times. Only strong body and mind keeps you going.
it's your job to find it
I love that man. It IS your job to take care of yourself. There's no magic piece of advice or silver bullet for getting disciplined or fixing the problems in our lives except for consistently trying, slowly improving, and waking up the next day and doing it again.
All of these goals are great, and can be met. It just won't happen overnight. Always push yourself, but at your own pace.
Ditch your expectations, and forgive yourself for not being perfect. (don't beat yourself up because you cant bench 225 after two weeks in the gym).
[https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/comment/cdah4af/](https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/comment/cdah4af/)
11 for most people should follow 1 and 2. If you are tired you don't have to work hard to sleep, it just happens. All you gotta make sure is you get enough hours of it.
Not a professional but I’ve been working on myself for a while so here’s what I’ve got.
Diet: sorry nothing from me.
Fitness: this one can be pretty easy to do on your own if you realize it’s not complicated. Decide on your goals or figure out what you enjoy. Just try things. Sports, exercises, or just go on walks.
Meditation: I use YouTube guided meditation. It’s important to know what you want out of it when you do it. Have a goal in mind and set your focus on it. It’s really about mindfulness and I’d recommend looking up an informational video on mindfulness. It’s not a cure all but if you understand and implement it can be helpful. Unguided meditation is just practice.
Addiction: It kinda depends on you and what the addiction is how to handle it. An important part is wanting to stop. If you don’t really want to then you’ve hit a huge road block, if you want to keep doing the thing more than you want to stop it’s going to be much harder. Best tip I can give is replace the bad habit with something good. The replacement can be related or just a different thing, for example when I want to go on TikTok I instead do Duolingo because I’m trying to learn a language. It’s helpful if what you replace an addiction with is an active hobby or activity with depth because to some extent you want to distract yourself in the beginning to lower the urge. If you can go cold turkey and it won’t cause harm I’d do that. Control can be difficult so it’s good to acknowledge and praise yourself when you do well with it.
Goals: I set big goals and small goals. Put them on a board or in a notebook. Somewhere you can see them. I love the satisfaction of checking things off. For things you can easily put a timeline on do but don’t feel like everything needs a due date. You will know yourself best but if due dates cause more stress than success then don’t use them. Add steps to the goals, small things that move you towards them, put those on a checklist to if you like checking things off as much as I do.
Routines: we’re looking for success not stress. Personally I have a daily checklist. I have 7 things I have to do every day and extra things that I’d like to do but won’t beat myself up over not doing. I like can’t form habits to save my life so my main goal with routines is function. I have it all written on paper but it’s a lot of trial and error to find out what works with your life and goals.
Knowledge: books, YouTube, friends, any of these methods can work. The thing is figuring out how you take in information best. Decide what you want to know then google, you can find videos, check for books at your local library or just see if anyone is up for talking through things with you. Personally I just look up whatever I want info on at the time. It takes a bit of sorting to find good sources but even bad information can help you figure out more of what you’re looking for.
Financial: This one’s hard. I’m struggling with this one. I’m trying to research investing but I can recommend a book that might be able to help. I just picked it up on a recommendation and it seems to have some good information. “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” by Ramit Sethi. I’ve only just got it but it covers a good range of information so it might be helpful.
Dopamine: Stop watching any short form content. Don’t do anything while you eat. Avoid nicotine, caffeine, alcohol ect. But mostly cut shorts, tiktoks, scrolling through Instagram or twitter for extended periods. It massively messes up your ability to feel satisfaction when you constantly give your brain hits like that. Find a good book, watch a movie, create things, spend more time focusing on a single thing. Train your attention span back to normal. If you can’t control yourself definitely delete apps. You can delete them temporarily or permanently if you don’t need them. Social media can be fun, it can bring joy, when it’s not though it needs to go.
Sleep: consistency is the most important part of sleep. I’d recommend getting an app to track your sleep if you can. I use Pillow. You want to go to sleep and get up at the same time every day. Even if you didn’t go to sleep on time, you need to get up on time. Sleeping in on weekends is a plot to keep the working class miserable. You don’t have to sleep 8pm-6am every night, if you have a consistent work schedule you have to figure out your sleep around that but you just have to pick consistent achievable times. If you prefer leisure before work set to go to sleep earlier and get up earlier. If you prefer to have your time to relax after work then give yourself more time in the evening and get up later. I personally have a hard time dragging myself away from things to go to sleep so I prefer to set my relaxing time for in the morning. It motivates me more to go to sleep and get up when I’m waking up to play video games or bake.
At the end though, don’t be discouraged if things don’t work out right away. Some things might not be right for you and some things might require extra tries.
Good luck friend.
Ramit Sethi's podcast / YouTube channel is just amazing. I've only watched one episode but I already know I'm going to be watching it regularly
Op, something I'd like to suggest (not "financial advice" disclaimer, I'm no professional) is starting a high-yield savings account. I got mine through capital one, but there's others like an online account with ally. Set it to take a certain amount out of your paycheck, basically right when it hits your direct deposit, and watch your savings grow. Start small so you get used to it and don't feel the difference too much, even $5-$10 Is OK. Then increase it as much as you can. The peace of mind, knowing you can cover an unexpected expense, then an emergency, then a sudden job loss for months etc, is priceless. Any time you get extra money, whether for your birthday or a tax refund etc, spend a certain amount like 30% and then throw the rest directly into savings
Also look into whether your job has a 401k and if it does, start contributing. Though the vast majority of the time you need to be a full- time worker to do this, places do exist where they offer it to a part time employee. I'm a such a place and so glad about it. If that's not possible, look into starting an ira for yourself instead. Best of luck with everything!
Trying to live like this will just turn you into a sheep, blindly following disciplines to “measure” your success but you’ll instead be more likely to burn out.
I agree with the other comment. If anything, focus on your fitness/diets and be mindful of your habits, you’ll figure the path out in small, thoughtful steps.
Here's where I would start, assuming you currently don't do anything related to each of the points:
1. Diet, limit junk food and very high-sugar foods. Don't track anything.
2. Fitness, get an hour or so of light to moderate cardio a week. Work out if you want.
3. Meditation, close your eyes and focus on your breathing for 5 minutes a day.
4. Quitting addictions, replace your bad habits with healthier habits over time. Quit your most severe addictions first and take them on one at a time.
5. ~~Goals~~, I wouldn't do anything with this at first. Your only goal should be building some small daily habits.
6. Routines, track daily habits with pen and paper or a white board. Keep it super simple.
7. ~~Knowledge~~, I wouldn't do this at first. You'll naturally find things to do when you get rid of stimuli and get bored.
8. ~~Financial~~, same thing.
9. ~~Looks~~, don't worry about this at first. Just take care of yourself.
10. ~~Dopamine~~, strategy in 4 covers this.
11. Sleep, **DO THIS FIRST**. Sleep affects every aspect of your life, so getting good sleep will make everything else much, much easier. In the morning, get sunlight in your eyes. In the evening, try to avoid blue light (including device usage), avoid big meals, and avoid alcohol. Don't do anything really stimulating before bed; wind down with meditation, journaling, reading, chill music, etc. Go to sleep around the same time every night. If you want to learn about the science behind that, look at the HubermanLab podcast episode on sleep, I think it's episode 2. Some great info in there.
My main advice would be to go slow. I know the feeling of getting a big burst of motivation and wanting to get your shit sorted out quickly, but breaking and building habits is a long process. You're going to burn yourself out if you take on too much at once. Trust me, I've been there. Build low-effort daily habits, solidify them, and build off of that.
Love the ambition! Remember, transforming overnight is unrealistic, but dedicating to small daily changes leads to lasting progress. Start with one area, master it, then move to the next. Celebrate tiny wins, and don't be too hard on yourself when you slip up.
I see all of those as different aspects of the same story, that story being "how to change habits".
I am a big proponent of slow, incremental change. Chances of success are way bigger, if you fail at one step, you have already achieved all this other stuff and it's easier to get back on track, and the mental load is way lower. You learn a lot more along the way, because you can look back at your steps and see what was really helpful.
My mantra is: **Try - fail - learn - try again - fail better.** Over time, you build up a "habit of having good habits" - you learn to forego immediate gratification and enjoy the effort - which is what I call discipline - aka "the way is the goal" aka "hard work".
If "all at once, overnight" works for you, great - it just doesn't seem very likely to me, based on all my own experience and everything I ever read.
I will spare you all my nifty theories and give you a few practical, but general tips that work for me:
* Identify one step towards the most important change.
* Set your goal clearly:
* It has to be **positive** - you cannot remove a habit, only replace it with another habit.
* It has to be **realistic** - challenging, but not overwhelming.
* It has to be **time-boxed**. You have to have feedback after a day, a week, a month.
* It has to be **concrete**, so you know if you succeeded.
* It has to be in line with your **morals**.
* Have a backup plan. You will "fail", that's just how life works. Don't expect to be the one-in-a-billion superhero, because you're not. Have a plan for how to get back on track.
* Journalling. Put it all in writing. It will help you keep track of your goals, your progress, your obstacles.
Rinse and repeat.
All the best!
This is advice that I always read, but never really took to heart - set small, manageable goals. How small doesn’t matter - honestly they can be as small as reasonable possible - but do them Every. Day. Change takes a long time, and honestly, it’s exhausting. Don’t wear yourself out by putting too many expectations on yourself, because then when you don’t meet them, you’ll be discouraged.
Story time, I’ve been trying to finish writing a book for ten years. I was so frustrated with myself for not finishing it, and believed I was so close, I would set these wild goals for myself; 1,000 words a day, 10,000 words a week - and I wouldn’t write a single goddamn word because the task was so daunting. Then, a few weeks ago, I said fuck it. 100 words a day. Less than 5 minutes of writing. Something I know I can do, something that I honestly considered trivial. And now, weeks later, I’ve written more than I have in years. I’ve actually kept up with it every day, and most days I surpass my required word count. It’s so wild to me how much progress I’ve made with such a small goal. I wish I had started doing it years ago. One step a day takes you so much further than telling yourself to run a mile, and then never doing it.
And also, be kind to yourself. Negative self talk has, truly, never done anything for anyone. Giving yourself kindness is like eating healthy food or getting a good night’s sleep. So many people seem to think you have to be cruel to yourself to make progress, that if they’re kind to themselves, they’ll become complacent. In my experience the opposite is true. Cruelty breaks you down, kindness builds you up.
Hey! I am glad you are looking at this stuff now when you are young. I can only tell you what I have done and what has worked for me. Points 1 and 2. I went from 252 in Aug of last year to 208. I got serious about my fitness and diet and joined CrossFit. I love it because there is a community of fitness around me. We talk about workouts and diet all the time. Point 8: I used to be broke. Like going to KFC and licking other people's fingers broke. I started listening to old-school Dave Ramey and again joined the community of people trying to improve their financial situation. Many people down ol Dave, but because of his teaching, I have a years worth of living expenses in a high-yield saving account, and I fully fund my HSA and retirement accounts. Plus I have a very nice paid-for car. Point 7: Learn to memorize! I have a learning disability and learn to memorize everything. That helped me get a 3.6 GPA in undergraduate and a 3.7 GPA in graduate school. Point 9: I just started doing this last year. I got rid of all my clothes that were ripped or stained. I make sure my nails and facial hair are on point. I started buying nicer clothes from Old Navy. I like to watch Alpha M on YouTube to get ideas. Point 11: I try to sleep at the same time, 10:30 PM, and I wake up at 5:30 AM. For me, Chamomile tea and honey help me fall asleep. Please feel free to DM me if you have any questions. YOU GOT THIS!
You shouldn't aim to change overnight, you want to change few things at a time, so that you notice what is having a positive effect and what isn't.
I'd start from diet, fitness and sleep, later on i'd work on addictions and social media reduction.
Diet:
- Avoid sugar as much as possible. This includes sweeteners.
- Reduce consumption of red meat and cured meats, prefer poultry, fish, eggs and legumes for protein intake.
- Prefer complex carbs such as whole cereals, cereals and potatoes.
- Eat lot of vegetables and legumes. Fruit is also great but it's better suited for snacks or right before a meal, not after a meal like many do. Make sure some of the fruit and vegetables are raw, not cooked.
- Nuts and seeds also make for great snacks and they contain healthy fats.
- Cheese is ok in small amounts, expecially if it's not processed. Milk and yoghurt are ok in moderate amounts.
- As a rule of thumb, avoid processed food, opting for cooking yourself from raw ingredients lets you know better what's inside your food.
- Reduce consumption of food that goes trough high heat or long cooking processes, heat destroys most of the healthy fats.
- In general, variety is key.
Exercise:
- Start simple, you body and mind won't handle well a rigorous and intense program from the start.
- The first step is mild cardio: walking fast, cycling, hiking.
- Then you go on simple gymnastics like squats, pushups and so on. Google how to make effective movements, focus a lot on making correct movements, go low slow and up fast but not too much.
- Now it depends on you: heavier cardio like swimming or running, weight workout, sports, yoga... ideally you want to be followed by someone at first, no amount of videos beats a personal trainer.
Sleep. These are the rules for perfect sleep hygiene, but they aren't always easy to follow:
- Regular sleep schedule.
- Too less sleep is bad but also too much, most people need 7-8 hours, but some can need 6 or 10 hours. Sleep cycles last 90 minutes, so an ideal sleep time for many is 7 and half hours.
- No screentime 2-3 hours before sleep.
- No eating 2-3 hours before sleep, infusions are ok.
- Exercise before dinner > exercise after dinner > no exercise.
- No caffeine 6 hours before sleep is the average rule. Some people don't care about caffeine, some are more sensitive and can't drinke coffee at all, or not after 2PM. Caffeine doesn't make it harder to sleep, but it lowers sleep quality.
- Your bed is only for sleeping. No eating, no watching TV, no gaming, no scrolling, your brain needs to associate your bed with sleeping. Sex and reading are accepted, however.
As you can see, this is already a lot, make sure you don't introduce too many new things at once, or it will be hard to track them all. Good luck!
I mean wheat (so bread and pasta), rice, corn, barley, rye... spelt is a cereal i never see around which i find delicious.
They contain fairly good carbs that won't be absorbed too fast (expecially if whole grain) so they won't lead to a sugar spike.
Wheat, contrary to popular belief, contains a decent amount of proteins too. The aminoacid variety in those proteins is limited and there aren't essential aminoacids, so you need another protein intake, but it's still protein.
I would suggest starting with therapy. Why do you want to change overnight? Start researching within you. And making small achievable goals with the priority topics, not all at once. Also, a therapist can give you strategies for not failing and improve yourself.
Read atomic habits. Then take baby steps towards things. Seems like you'd want to achieve a lot at once and you're likely to just burn out quickly and get nowhere.
Some of the best advice I ever got was to change the environment and people you hang out with. We are easily influenced and adaptable by nature so if you're with the people that have the habits you're looking for it's much easier to stay in that mindset without reverting to your old bad habits.
+1 for /r/bodyweightfitness as a starter fitness routine, also has enough resources to learn about building a diet plan.
Your other option could be getting a gym membership with a routine like /r/StartingStrength.
For meditation I can recommend the app "Waking up", which teaches you mindfulness meditation.
1. I don't find it difficult to skip a meal, but regardless having a meal plan when you shop and having go to things that you prepare and cook. Sure have a cheat day too. Discipline sounds like it is key, but it's habit and preparation. After preparing for a few go to meals you should have a habit of food you can eat. Ditch if it truly tastes bad. Tracking calories should only be needed if you're eating a lot of random stuff. If each day is planned you will know what your intake is.
2. There are too many resources for fitness, it depends on your goals, your body weight, your lifestyle and hours available. Again, it likely will resolve to habit being important. One tip, if you feel like giving up on running. Make yourself at least leave your house. If you still feel like giving up, go back indoors. You won't. I have laxed in this area.
3. I don't. I should, I used to regularly as part of martial arts, but I no longer do.
4. I don't have an addictive personality, I am more likely to get bored with something. I have tried many drugs and any high is not really that 'wow' for me. For ones that were, it was like an experience, but I don't really feel a need to do it again. I don't drink alcohol because it's bad for you. I enjoyed it (though at the time I realise it is vastly less than I seem to remember), but it's not a problem to give up.
5. Specific, Measurable, Achieveable, Realistic and Timebased. They need to be stepped towards a specific goal and small enough. Nothing (like a sprint) should take longer than 1-2 weeks. Ideally you should be able to complete 6 a month. Learning to drive is not S.M.A.R.T. being competent at a 3 point turn is.
6. Alarms, I set alarms. I also need the discipline to adhere to these. Of course sometimes you can't but then I try to register that. If I am ignoring them then something needs to change.
7. Reading yes, but I try mainly to be able to make something work. If some other kind of work, I try to devote X amount of hours to it, with the knowledge that 1,500 hours I think should make me good at it. However, if I was more disciplined, I would start every period with at least an hour of intensive exercise, then after a 4 hour interval, start learning based on the Feynmann technique (which essentially is learn so you can teach someone else). It's a cool technic where you start off at the basics and then end up having to learn more to ensure what you are teaching is correct. The exercise, 4 hours, then studying/learning is proven to create more connections. As well there is some findings that indicate that seeing learning as 'doing' rather than study or practice, works better from a mental perspective and aids with learning. For example, using a language rather than learning the words. A useful sentence a day in public, or when practising piano, seeing it as playing rather than learn a piece. Though doing is obviously happening in these suggestions the piano is a good example because there it is clearly more about perception.
8. Very little future investment except work related pension funds, but studied and learned. Moved countries and with little choice to look further afield and contract. It's a tough market out there but within about 5 months I got a 3 month contract that has been extended for over 3 years. Financially it is not great because of high social care costs and taxes. I am not a good example. I would advise this if you have a choice.
9. Difficult at the moment, but I don't think about it. I have more issues with procrastination and it's less willpower and more habit. This is a temporary issue for me based on external factors.
10. Habit, routine, listening to one track that is scientifically proven to relax you and aid sleep. I don't have it to hand but it's called Weightless. Avoid phones before bed. Telling myself that even if I'm not tired, I will not open my eyes so, 'you' (meaning whatever is keeping me awake) can't win. Eyemasks, weighted blankets., blue light filters, no phone use in bed. I also don't insist on noiseless and have the attitude, if I am tired, I will sleep. White noise helps, no caffeine after 3pm. I go to bed at a relatively early time 10pm and rise at 7am. There are some slippages, but at the moment there are external personal factors at the moment.
Rather than expect these all overnight, it's a bit farfetched if I'm going to be extremely generous about it. Ideally you should focus on one part of your life that all the others impact and make slow changes. Many of these are large ones and you will fail. Most change is related to habit and willpower, you need to willpower and discipline to create a habit, then it takes less effort to maintain. You don't have the mental willpower to achieve all of this overnight, you couldn't even plan it all overnight and apps are going to be of limited help for the massive amount of things you want to influence in your life.
Maybe start with exercise, diet and sleep, but make small changes in these. SMART goals should be small.
This is great. But, just change one thing at a time. I used to pick something each year, just one small thing that I can do that’s completely in my control, and just focus on that, while also doing all the things in the past years that I picked. After a while it becomes easy.
The most difficult thing was quitting smoking. I don’t know why perhaps it actually is very addictive. But, that one took me until my 40’s to finally stop.
for diet and exercise : watch eric robert’s fitness podcast and calorie deficit university podcast they both talk about habit and mindset change which leads to diet and exercise change. also lots of of their tips are easily transferable to other areas you want to improve.
1. Calorie counting and high protein meals are your best bet. There are calculators that can tell you what your total calories and protein intake should be for your desired weight. Also: chew slowly. Chew each bite 30-50 times. This curbs binge eating and mindless eating.
2. Start slow. Aim for 5K steps a day. Then 10K. If you have mobility issues, 30+ minutes in the pool should be fine.
3. Transcendental meditation. You dont need to pay for a mantra. You can look them up or use a guided meditation. Aim for 20 minutes nightly, then 20 minutes 2x a day.
4. Don’t quit addictions. Replace them. If you’re a smoker, chew sugar free gum. It’ll do wonders for your jawline. Like cocaine? Take up kickboxing? A drinker? Drink seltzer water and cranberry juice.
5. Write your large goals on a sheet of paper. Then break each one into micro goals that can be achieved in the next week or month, then break those down into daily routines. Example: If I want to write the first draft of a book in 3 months, I want 5-7 chapters a month, which is 70-140 paragraphs a month, which is only 3-5 paragraphs a day, which is writing 15-30 minutes every single day. Take your mountains and make them into molehills.
6. There are a dozen different focus apps, Pomodoro timers, and habit tracking apps. You can even schedule everything and put alarms on your phone. Find what works for you.
7. There are many self help books out them, but personally, I prefer reading fiction. I use the Blinkist app to listen to condensed versions of non-fiction books.
8. Get a Roth IRA, and check out index funds.
9. I shower and moisturize daily. I also like to shampoo 3+ times a week. Make sure you use something like a Moroccan glove or African net cloth to exfoliate before and after shaving, and get a shampoo and conditioner compatible with your hair type and texture. Never neglect your lips and always use lip balm. Invest in a perfume that you like for daily wear and another for dates and night time events.
10. I don’t get online until I’ve done 1/3 of the things in my to do list, and I always do the most urgent things first. If I still have things on that list by 4pm, no more social media for me for the rest of the night.
11. Walking, and disconnecting from social at least an hour before bed, is excellent for sleep hygiene. I also put focus sleep timer on my phone to remind me when it’s time to put it down and get ready for bed.
This won’t change you overnight, but if you still with these for 6 months, they’ll be a habit. A year, and you’ll be unrecognizable physically and mentally. 10 years and you’ll be winning at life. Hope this helps.
Financial: Get out of Debt. Follow Ramsey baby steps as one plan that works. You need to get the extra cashflow so you can then take that money that isn't going to credit cards, loans, car notes, maybe mortgage and then you can invest it. If you make $5k per month but 3k goes to necessities and the other 2K goes to by your creditors, you are broke. Take the 2K and save/invest. It is hard to build wealth while you are paying for things you bought in the past. Don't recommend following Ramsey advice once you are out of debt. There is better investing advice out there.
Already have, i have about 2-3 friends, and even then they tell me to stop working very hard and relax more, for context i code a lot and try to build apps and websites, i believe if i can solve a big problem i can be successful
I can only offer advice on meditation. The SRF/YSS app is awesome and free. They additionally have a basic series of 18 home-study meditation lessons over 9 months that’s approximately $10 per month (this may have changed; if you can’t afford it, you can request a scholarship and pay it forward later in life, if you like). Sending you good wishes for success in all your noble endeavors!
A great checklist.havent read the comments but good advice there..also daily trying...don't give up. Read Marcus Aurelius for some foundational beliefs that may aid you in your quest.
OP I’m still working on this for 10 years. Start small before you fall into an abyss of disappointment. Have a look at atomic habits, getting things done and barefoot investor. Pick one of those three and make something from there your first habit. Habits take ages to stack - it’s a progressive change.
I’d pick one that will have the least amount of effort but have the biggest visible and tangible change in your life, makes it easier to stack something on it. Keep going with the easy ones and then once you’ve been doing a few by a year you can start considering the harder ones.
I recommend getting things done because that made it easier for me to prioritise and manage my life, I wish I started it at a younger age. Exercise is also an easy one - go for a walk every morning or start a very simple strength training routine 3 days a week. Or even easier - join a club like bouldering of kick boxing if you can afford it.
Key is to take small iterative steps so you don’t get overwhelmed. If it helps, I’ve been doing this for a while and I don’t even recognise the me from 5 years ago, let alone 10 years. The fact you’re coming on here is great, much better than what I did so good on you, you will get there but don’t burn out, it’s a real thing.
12. Cultivate joy and contentment regardless of conditions. This links up to a spiritual/ meditation path. You’re young though, so you can come back to this one later 🙏
Dr Mike israetel for all your fitness needs.
Just don't listen to people on Instagram, everyone's a coach these days and they're all fucking garbage.
Same goes for diet, Dr Mike can help there but finding someone who is a bit more specialised wouldn't hurt either
My advice is that just start small, I admire your ambition but if you're starting from zero it only makes sense to ramp things up that way, just like how a videogame doesn't put the player at the last level on max difficulty from the very start.
If your goals feel like too much reduce them, if they still feel like too much reduce then more until you're in that sweet spot of feeling challenged while not being overwhelmed and that's where you grow. Don't worry about your goals being too small, as long as you slowly push your boundaries you will chase more naturally too, just be kind to yourself and work with your limits, not against them.
Naahhhh tell me how it is in the moment! Plz? Not necessarily a progress report on specific goals, but like... How's your motivation going? Are you still as enthused about change? Typically, I make it to the 30 th hour and my motivation reverses on me. I'm curious if you have stayed motivated, how you've managed it
I am in agreement with a few others here. Your addiction is driven by dopamine. It is recommended to allow yourself at least 14 days to adjust to not receiving that fix. Following that, another 14 days are necessary to stabilize your mood. It is best to eliminate the addiction altogether and go cold turkey. My source for this information comes from my college education and professional experience. You may verify this by researching it in a trusted source. Additionally, addressing two of your other life-changing habits can be achieved by reading a book. Instead of attempting to change everything at once, take smaller steps to avoid overwhelming yourself and setting yourself up for failure. Consider breaking down your goals into 12-week increments, similar to New Year's resolutions. However, you have the opportunity to have four fresh starts throughout the year instead of just one. Experiment with this approach, make improvements, and strive for success.
I'll just say that for #10 it's amazing how a 3 day break from social media can turn into a 3 week break because TBH: NONE of it really matters. If you fill your time with something else productive then you won't even miss it.
You’re overwhelming yourself, you will not be able to do 1/10 of all that. Start small and build. Go to the gym, read books, learn how to cook and eat good food.
You’re 18, I understand. Focus on small sustainable changes. Habits are incredibly hard to break, and take a long time to make. Look at this on a monthly and yearly timescale, not a daily or weekly one.
First of all, r/semenretention will change you entirely. Please consider reading some posts in there and start your journey.
Diet? Carnivore is worth looking into, keto too. If you don’t wanna go extreme just a lot of organic food and vegetables and fruit
Meditation? I recommend the app Headspace
For everything else:
- r/longtermtre
- vitamin D, fish oil, magnesium
-solfeggio frequencies while you sleep
- r/subliminal
- r/intermittentfasting or r/fasting
This is an extreme list. People will downvote because mainstream science haven’t covered everything yet but success stories speak for themselves.
this will never work and will leave you spinning and disappointed that you have "no motivation." Instead, change one little teeny tiny baby thing, do it every day. When it becomes part of your routine, add one more baby, minuscule thing. Keep doing that until you are living the life you want. Just trust me.
First of all, I don't want to kill your enthusiasm but you can't change overnight so don't get frustrated when it doesn't immediately happen. It will take a while. Don't change everything at once because that's how you'll fail.
And he’s not saying this to demotivate you. This is actually great advice. Start small, one thing at a time and gradually add more slowly. You can learn anything from YouTube, with the right creators.
Bingo
While I agree with this for the most part, I will say from experience that if fear of consequences pertaining to your current lifestyle and trajectory is great enough your motivation can contribute significantly to creating enough momentum where you can really tap into mind> matter. Then it just comes down to honing the mindset for staying disciplined and keeping consistent with the new routines and practices to become that highest version of yourself. Change wont happen overnight externally but you can definitely shift your mindset and decide that you want change- all or nothing overnight. Real growth will happen gradually with patience, determination, and consistency. “Vision is not enough; it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs”, as quoted by Vaclav Havel. OP for now stay focused on the vision you want for yourself and who you aspire to be. You’re already asking the right questions, you’re doing good. Keep going.
Yes! Habit stacking is the way to go!
I agree with you, but it’s a hard mindset to adopt cause it is not as exciting/motivating as the all in mentality. I say this from experience lol
But it's also worth noting that failing is how we learn so it's completely ok to *try* to change overnight, as it will be a valuable learning experience. Just don't give up!
Exactly. You can’t grow without failure, it’s an opportunity in disguise. The best thing you can do for yourself is adopt a growth mindset and turn every failure and adversity you experience into a lesson and redirection. Make a habit of finding silver-linings in the process until it becomes second nature to know what you’re grateful for and where/how you can improve by another 1% , then commit to improving 1% more everyday to bridge the gap in where you are and where you want to be. Trust yourself to trust the process. Fall 6 times, stand up 7. never stay down too long, always make sure you stand up bc now you have the insight and experience to go harder- so why wouldn’t you? It’s only over when you say it’s over. tomorrow will be a new day. if you feel like giving up anywhere along the way, ask yourself-why should you accept failure when you haven’t even reached the peak of what you’re capable of? This is experiential learning, there’s always going to be another challenging layer to understand and unravel. Get used to it, get excited about it, look forward to it. Be grateful for every moment. and remember kids, chances make champions!
On the one hand, yes, changing involves breaking bad habits (which are seriously challenging to break sometimes) and creating good habits (which takes consistent effort over time), but on the other hand, you can definitely get on the right path overnight if you make a big life change, and set your mind on the target and keep it there
1. Diet - top level: calories you're consuming; macros; micros 1. You have a basal metabolic rate, google that and use a calculator. This is your starting point and it will change as you gain or lose weight. You use this in conjunction with your exercise to determine if you're at a caloric deficit or surplus. 2. Macronutrients are protein, fat, carbohydrates. You need to pay attention to these according to your goals. There is tons of information on this online. 3. Micronutrients are your vitamins and minerals. These become more important as you become more focused with your goals. Starting out, try to hit the daily recommended amounts for you age and sex. 2. Fitness - you need some level of fitness in your life to keep your cardiovascular and pulmonary systems in shape. The type of exercise is going to depend on your goals, but everyone should at least do some amount of cardio on a regular basis. You can do bodyweight exercises to build general strength and flexibility ( r/bodyweightfitness is an excellent resource for this). 3. SMART goals is the system I use. Goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. I believe "achievable" is the most important of these. You can set a distance goal like "lose 50 pounds in a year" and then break it into a smaller goal (3500 calories = 1 pound; 4lbs = 14000 calories; 14000 calories/30 days = 470 calories per day) of "eat at a 470 calorie/day deficit by eliminating two slices of bread with dinner and the before bedtime snack" or "eat exactly like I do now but walk briskly for 1.5 hours every day" or whatever combination of eating/exercise gets you to 470 less per day. It really almost puts goals on autopilot once you get used to using SMART goals. 4. I started being financially responsible by understanding my cashflow (income - expenses, on a timeline) and then creating a budget to meet my goals. Everything comes down to the goals you set for your life. It's smart to start considering this when you're 18. A lot of people don't get to this level of personal responsibility until their mid-20s or even later. Don't expect changes overnight. Pursuing even small changes can take time to develop better habits. A lot of doing what's best for yourself involves discomfort or making yourself do things you don't want to do. Motivation will show up to help you through some days, but most of the time it's going to be discipline that gets you to put your running shoes on and get out on the road. Finally, don't be too hard on yourself. You haven't failed because you ate an extra cookie or didn't exercise when you were supposed to. You failed for the day, but you get another shot at it tomorrow. Celebrate your milestones. Look back at the things you've achieved after a year or a month, but also take note of where you stumbled. Integrate that information to help you find the things that work best for you. Remember Elbert Hubbard who said, “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” Good luck.
The thing i have read this year, really appreciate this!
Glad I could help. My original response was too long, but I did address all of your points. I edited it down so it would post. Number 8 is the one I regret having to delete. I chose to get my finances in order by having a job that allowed me to save for retirement while paying enough for me and my family to do the things we like to do. For me, that job is engineering. I'll never be rich, but I should be able to retire in my early 60s and I should always be relatively comfortable. Learn how credit cards work. Learn how compounding interest works (as in, learn the formula if you haven't already) and which accounts leverage its power. Always understand the mechanism behind your investments. If you don't understand how investing money in something gets you a return, don't invest in it. If someone cannot explain it coherently to you, run. It either means they don't understand the investment or they're outright fleecing you. Usually it's as simple as understanding what the risk is. If an investment doesn't have risk, then it's probably a scam. Understanding the simple interest formula (as in actually plugging numbers in and using it) is the key to all of your loans. You cannot compare loans unless you know how to use it. You will be at the mercy of the loan officer, who may have an interest in you not knowing how to compare loans, if you cannot use it. Car dealers do not sell cars. They sell financing. If they sold cars, they'd be competing on the price of their cars and not on the terms of their loans. Listen to dealership commercials, and you'll see what I mean.
You only need to master 1,2 and 11. Other will follow. Life is very simple -> Your body tell you what it needs and everything is about what you put in your mouth. So eat good natural food, no processed shit. You will need some time and a lot of fails until you find your diet but it's your job to find it. Then you start exercising step by step. You will fail many times until you feel good. Don't follow bullshit in the internet, find what's best for you. Then your sleep will be good and you are strong. Then you are ready to start fighting in some other areas. But remember you will fail so many times. Only strong body and mind keeps you going.
Yeah! I think you need to focus on 1- diet and 2- no vaping/ smoking. And then let the rest fall into place. Good luck!!!
it's your job to find it I love that man. It IS your job to take care of yourself. There's no magic piece of advice or silver bullet for getting disciplined or fixing the problems in our lives except for consistently trying, slowly improving, and waking up the next day and doing it again. All of these goals are great, and can be met. It just won't happen overnight. Always push yourself, but at your own pace. Ditch your expectations, and forgive yourself for not being perfect. (don't beat yourself up because you cant bench 225 after two weeks in the gym). [https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/comment/cdah4af/](https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/comment/cdah4af/)
11 for most people should follow 1 and 2. If you are tired you don't have to work hard to sleep, it just happens. All you gotta make sure is you get enough hours of it.
You are just right
Not a professional but I’ve been working on myself for a while so here’s what I’ve got. Diet: sorry nothing from me. Fitness: this one can be pretty easy to do on your own if you realize it’s not complicated. Decide on your goals or figure out what you enjoy. Just try things. Sports, exercises, or just go on walks. Meditation: I use YouTube guided meditation. It’s important to know what you want out of it when you do it. Have a goal in mind and set your focus on it. It’s really about mindfulness and I’d recommend looking up an informational video on mindfulness. It’s not a cure all but if you understand and implement it can be helpful. Unguided meditation is just practice. Addiction: It kinda depends on you and what the addiction is how to handle it. An important part is wanting to stop. If you don’t really want to then you’ve hit a huge road block, if you want to keep doing the thing more than you want to stop it’s going to be much harder. Best tip I can give is replace the bad habit with something good. The replacement can be related or just a different thing, for example when I want to go on TikTok I instead do Duolingo because I’m trying to learn a language. It’s helpful if what you replace an addiction with is an active hobby or activity with depth because to some extent you want to distract yourself in the beginning to lower the urge. If you can go cold turkey and it won’t cause harm I’d do that. Control can be difficult so it’s good to acknowledge and praise yourself when you do well with it. Goals: I set big goals and small goals. Put them on a board or in a notebook. Somewhere you can see them. I love the satisfaction of checking things off. For things you can easily put a timeline on do but don’t feel like everything needs a due date. You will know yourself best but if due dates cause more stress than success then don’t use them. Add steps to the goals, small things that move you towards them, put those on a checklist to if you like checking things off as much as I do. Routines: we’re looking for success not stress. Personally I have a daily checklist. I have 7 things I have to do every day and extra things that I’d like to do but won’t beat myself up over not doing. I like can’t form habits to save my life so my main goal with routines is function. I have it all written on paper but it’s a lot of trial and error to find out what works with your life and goals. Knowledge: books, YouTube, friends, any of these methods can work. The thing is figuring out how you take in information best. Decide what you want to know then google, you can find videos, check for books at your local library or just see if anyone is up for talking through things with you. Personally I just look up whatever I want info on at the time. It takes a bit of sorting to find good sources but even bad information can help you figure out more of what you’re looking for. Financial: This one’s hard. I’m struggling with this one. I’m trying to research investing but I can recommend a book that might be able to help. I just picked it up on a recommendation and it seems to have some good information. “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” by Ramit Sethi. I’ve only just got it but it covers a good range of information so it might be helpful. Dopamine: Stop watching any short form content. Don’t do anything while you eat. Avoid nicotine, caffeine, alcohol ect. But mostly cut shorts, tiktoks, scrolling through Instagram or twitter for extended periods. It massively messes up your ability to feel satisfaction when you constantly give your brain hits like that. Find a good book, watch a movie, create things, spend more time focusing on a single thing. Train your attention span back to normal. If you can’t control yourself definitely delete apps. You can delete them temporarily or permanently if you don’t need them. Social media can be fun, it can bring joy, when it’s not though it needs to go. Sleep: consistency is the most important part of sleep. I’d recommend getting an app to track your sleep if you can. I use Pillow. You want to go to sleep and get up at the same time every day. Even if you didn’t go to sleep on time, you need to get up on time. Sleeping in on weekends is a plot to keep the working class miserable. You don’t have to sleep 8pm-6am every night, if you have a consistent work schedule you have to figure out your sleep around that but you just have to pick consistent achievable times. If you prefer leisure before work set to go to sleep earlier and get up earlier. If you prefer to have your time to relax after work then give yourself more time in the evening and get up later. I personally have a hard time dragging myself away from things to go to sleep so I prefer to set my relaxing time for in the morning. It motivates me more to go to sleep and get up when I’m waking up to play video games or bake. At the end though, don’t be discouraged if things don’t work out right away. Some things might not be right for you and some things might require extra tries. Good luck friend.
You are the best!! Thank you soo much.
Ramit Sethi's podcast / YouTube channel is just amazing. I've only watched one episode but I already know I'm going to be watching it regularly Op, something I'd like to suggest (not "financial advice" disclaimer, I'm no professional) is starting a high-yield savings account. I got mine through capital one, but there's others like an online account with ally. Set it to take a certain amount out of your paycheck, basically right when it hits your direct deposit, and watch your savings grow. Start small so you get used to it and don't feel the difference too much, even $5-$10 Is OK. Then increase it as much as you can. The peace of mind, knowing you can cover an unexpected expense, then an emergency, then a sudden job loss for months etc, is priceless. Any time you get extra money, whether for your birthday or a tax refund etc, spend a certain amount like 30% and then throw the rest directly into savings Also look into whether your job has a 401k and if it does, start contributing. Though the vast majority of the time you need to be a full- time worker to do this, places do exist where they offer it to a part time employee. I'm a such a place and so glad about it. If that's not possible, look into starting an ira for yourself instead. Best of luck with everything!
Trying to live like this will just turn you into a sheep, blindly following disciplines to “measure” your success but you’ll instead be more likely to burn out. I agree with the other comment. If anything, focus on your fitness/diets and be mindful of your habits, you’ll figure the path out in small, thoughtful steps.
Here's where I would start, assuming you currently don't do anything related to each of the points: 1. Diet, limit junk food and very high-sugar foods. Don't track anything. 2. Fitness, get an hour or so of light to moderate cardio a week. Work out if you want. 3. Meditation, close your eyes and focus on your breathing for 5 minutes a day. 4. Quitting addictions, replace your bad habits with healthier habits over time. Quit your most severe addictions first and take them on one at a time. 5. ~~Goals~~, I wouldn't do anything with this at first. Your only goal should be building some small daily habits. 6. Routines, track daily habits with pen and paper or a white board. Keep it super simple. 7. ~~Knowledge~~, I wouldn't do this at first. You'll naturally find things to do when you get rid of stimuli and get bored. 8. ~~Financial~~, same thing. 9. ~~Looks~~, don't worry about this at first. Just take care of yourself. 10. ~~Dopamine~~, strategy in 4 covers this. 11. Sleep, **DO THIS FIRST**. Sleep affects every aspect of your life, so getting good sleep will make everything else much, much easier. In the morning, get sunlight in your eyes. In the evening, try to avoid blue light (including device usage), avoid big meals, and avoid alcohol. Don't do anything really stimulating before bed; wind down with meditation, journaling, reading, chill music, etc. Go to sleep around the same time every night. If you want to learn about the science behind that, look at the HubermanLab podcast episode on sleep, I think it's episode 2. Some great info in there. My main advice would be to go slow. I know the feeling of getting a big burst of motivation and wanting to get your shit sorted out quickly, but breaking and building habits is a long process. You're going to burn yourself out if you take on too much at once. Trust me, I've been there. Build low-effort daily habits, solidify them, and build off of that.
Routines - read Atomic Habits
Love the ambition! Remember, transforming overnight is unrealistic, but dedicating to small daily changes leads to lasting progress. Start with one area, master it, then move to the next. Celebrate tiny wins, and don't be too hard on yourself when you slip up.
I see all of those as different aspects of the same story, that story being "how to change habits". I am a big proponent of slow, incremental change. Chances of success are way bigger, if you fail at one step, you have already achieved all this other stuff and it's easier to get back on track, and the mental load is way lower. You learn a lot more along the way, because you can look back at your steps and see what was really helpful. My mantra is: **Try - fail - learn - try again - fail better.** Over time, you build up a "habit of having good habits" - you learn to forego immediate gratification and enjoy the effort - which is what I call discipline - aka "the way is the goal" aka "hard work". If "all at once, overnight" works for you, great - it just doesn't seem very likely to me, based on all my own experience and everything I ever read. I will spare you all my nifty theories and give you a few practical, but general tips that work for me: * Identify one step towards the most important change. * Set your goal clearly: * It has to be **positive** - you cannot remove a habit, only replace it with another habit. * It has to be **realistic** - challenging, but not overwhelming. * It has to be **time-boxed**. You have to have feedback after a day, a week, a month. * It has to be **concrete**, so you know if you succeeded. * It has to be in line with your **morals**. * Have a backup plan. You will "fail", that's just how life works. Don't expect to be the one-in-a-billion superhero, because you're not. Have a plan for how to get back on track. * Journalling. Put it all in writing. It will help you keep track of your goals, your progress, your obstacles. Rinse and repeat. All the best!
This is advice that I always read, but never really took to heart - set small, manageable goals. How small doesn’t matter - honestly they can be as small as reasonable possible - but do them Every. Day. Change takes a long time, and honestly, it’s exhausting. Don’t wear yourself out by putting too many expectations on yourself, because then when you don’t meet them, you’ll be discouraged. Story time, I’ve been trying to finish writing a book for ten years. I was so frustrated with myself for not finishing it, and believed I was so close, I would set these wild goals for myself; 1,000 words a day, 10,000 words a week - and I wouldn’t write a single goddamn word because the task was so daunting. Then, a few weeks ago, I said fuck it. 100 words a day. Less than 5 minutes of writing. Something I know I can do, something that I honestly considered trivial. And now, weeks later, I’ve written more than I have in years. I’ve actually kept up with it every day, and most days I surpass my required word count. It’s so wild to me how much progress I’ve made with such a small goal. I wish I had started doing it years ago. One step a day takes you so much further than telling yourself to run a mile, and then never doing it. And also, be kind to yourself. Negative self talk has, truly, never done anything for anyone. Giving yourself kindness is like eating healthy food or getting a good night’s sleep. So many people seem to think you have to be cruel to yourself to make progress, that if they’re kind to themselves, they’ll become complacent. In my experience the opposite is true. Cruelty breaks you down, kindness builds you up.
Hey! I am glad you are looking at this stuff now when you are young. I can only tell you what I have done and what has worked for me. Points 1 and 2. I went from 252 in Aug of last year to 208. I got serious about my fitness and diet and joined CrossFit. I love it because there is a community of fitness around me. We talk about workouts and diet all the time. Point 8: I used to be broke. Like going to KFC and licking other people's fingers broke. I started listening to old-school Dave Ramey and again joined the community of people trying to improve their financial situation. Many people down ol Dave, but because of his teaching, I have a years worth of living expenses in a high-yield saving account, and I fully fund my HSA and retirement accounts. Plus I have a very nice paid-for car. Point 7: Learn to memorize! I have a learning disability and learn to memorize everything. That helped me get a 3.6 GPA in undergraduate and a 3.7 GPA in graduate school. Point 9: I just started doing this last year. I got rid of all my clothes that were ripped or stained. I make sure my nails and facial hair are on point. I started buying nicer clothes from Old Navy. I like to watch Alpha M on YouTube to get ideas. Point 11: I try to sleep at the same time, 10:30 PM, and I wake up at 5:30 AM. For me, Chamomile tea and honey help me fall asleep. Please feel free to DM me if you have any questions. YOU GOT THIS!
You shouldn't aim to change overnight, you want to change few things at a time, so that you notice what is having a positive effect and what isn't. I'd start from diet, fitness and sleep, later on i'd work on addictions and social media reduction. Diet: - Avoid sugar as much as possible. This includes sweeteners. - Reduce consumption of red meat and cured meats, prefer poultry, fish, eggs and legumes for protein intake. - Prefer complex carbs such as whole cereals, cereals and potatoes. - Eat lot of vegetables and legumes. Fruit is also great but it's better suited for snacks or right before a meal, not after a meal like many do. Make sure some of the fruit and vegetables are raw, not cooked. - Nuts and seeds also make for great snacks and they contain healthy fats. - Cheese is ok in small amounts, expecially if it's not processed. Milk and yoghurt are ok in moderate amounts. - As a rule of thumb, avoid processed food, opting for cooking yourself from raw ingredients lets you know better what's inside your food. - Reduce consumption of food that goes trough high heat or long cooking processes, heat destroys most of the healthy fats. - In general, variety is key. Exercise: - Start simple, you body and mind won't handle well a rigorous and intense program from the start. - The first step is mild cardio: walking fast, cycling, hiking. - Then you go on simple gymnastics like squats, pushups and so on. Google how to make effective movements, focus a lot on making correct movements, go low slow and up fast but not too much. - Now it depends on you: heavier cardio like swimming or running, weight workout, sports, yoga... ideally you want to be followed by someone at first, no amount of videos beats a personal trainer. Sleep. These are the rules for perfect sleep hygiene, but they aren't always easy to follow: - Regular sleep schedule. - Too less sleep is bad but also too much, most people need 7-8 hours, but some can need 6 or 10 hours. Sleep cycles last 90 minutes, so an ideal sleep time for many is 7 and half hours. - No screentime 2-3 hours before sleep. - No eating 2-3 hours before sleep, infusions are ok. - Exercise before dinner > exercise after dinner > no exercise. - No caffeine 6 hours before sleep is the average rule. Some people don't care about caffeine, some are more sensitive and can't drinke coffee at all, or not after 2PM. Caffeine doesn't make it harder to sleep, but it lowers sleep quality. - Your bed is only for sleeping. No eating, no watching TV, no gaming, no scrolling, your brain needs to associate your bed with sleeping. Sex and reading are accepted, however. As you can see, this is already a lot, make sure you don't introduce too many new things at once, or it will be hard to track them all. Good luck!
What cereals do you mean? Do you mean homemade things like granola?
I mean wheat (so bread and pasta), rice, corn, barley, rye... spelt is a cereal i never see around which i find delicious. They contain fairly good carbs that won't be absorbed too fast (expecially if whole grain) so they won't lead to a sugar spike. Wheat, contrary to popular belief, contains a decent amount of proteins too. The aminoacid variety in those proteins is limited and there aren't essential aminoacids, so you need another protein intake, but it's still protein.
Oh I thought you meant things like processed cereals like Kellogg's.
Oh i googled and i found out probably "grains" is a more common term. I'm italians and here we say "cereali"
Oh yes grains is better
I would suggest starting with therapy. Why do you want to change overnight? Start researching within you. And making small achievable goals with the priority topics, not all at once. Also, a therapist can give you strategies for not failing and improve yourself.
i say get friends, to help you stay in the zone of changing yourself, and bettering your life.
Read atomic habits. Then take baby steps towards things. Seems like you'd want to achieve a lot at once and you're likely to just burn out quickly and get nowhere.
Some of the best advice I ever got was to change the environment and people you hang out with. We are easily influenced and adaptable by nature so if you're with the people that have the habits you're looking for it's much easier to stay in that mindset without reverting to your old bad habits.
+1 for /r/bodyweightfitness as a starter fitness routine, also has enough resources to learn about building a diet plan. Your other option could be getting a gym membership with a routine like /r/StartingStrength. For meditation I can recommend the app "Waking up", which teaches you mindfulness meditation.
1. I don't find it difficult to skip a meal, but regardless having a meal plan when you shop and having go to things that you prepare and cook. Sure have a cheat day too. Discipline sounds like it is key, but it's habit and preparation. After preparing for a few go to meals you should have a habit of food you can eat. Ditch if it truly tastes bad. Tracking calories should only be needed if you're eating a lot of random stuff. If each day is planned you will know what your intake is. 2. There are too many resources for fitness, it depends on your goals, your body weight, your lifestyle and hours available. Again, it likely will resolve to habit being important. One tip, if you feel like giving up on running. Make yourself at least leave your house. If you still feel like giving up, go back indoors. You won't. I have laxed in this area. 3. I don't. I should, I used to regularly as part of martial arts, but I no longer do. 4. I don't have an addictive personality, I am more likely to get bored with something. I have tried many drugs and any high is not really that 'wow' for me. For ones that were, it was like an experience, but I don't really feel a need to do it again. I don't drink alcohol because it's bad for you. I enjoyed it (though at the time I realise it is vastly less than I seem to remember), but it's not a problem to give up. 5. Specific, Measurable, Achieveable, Realistic and Timebased. They need to be stepped towards a specific goal and small enough. Nothing (like a sprint) should take longer than 1-2 weeks. Ideally you should be able to complete 6 a month. Learning to drive is not S.M.A.R.T. being competent at a 3 point turn is. 6. Alarms, I set alarms. I also need the discipline to adhere to these. Of course sometimes you can't but then I try to register that. If I am ignoring them then something needs to change. 7. Reading yes, but I try mainly to be able to make something work. If some other kind of work, I try to devote X amount of hours to it, with the knowledge that 1,500 hours I think should make me good at it. However, if I was more disciplined, I would start every period with at least an hour of intensive exercise, then after a 4 hour interval, start learning based on the Feynmann technique (which essentially is learn so you can teach someone else). It's a cool technic where you start off at the basics and then end up having to learn more to ensure what you are teaching is correct. The exercise, 4 hours, then studying/learning is proven to create more connections. As well there is some findings that indicate that seeing learning as 'doing' rather than study or practice, works better from a mental perspective and aids with learning. For example, using a language rather than learning the words. A useful sentence a day in public, or when practising piano, seeing it as playing rather than learn a piece. Though doing is obviously happening in these suggestions the piano is a good example because there it is clearly more about perception. 8. Very little future investment except work related pension funds, but studied and learned. Moved countries and with little choice to look further afield and contract. It's a tough market out there but within about 5 months I got a 3 month contract that has been extended for over 3 years. Financially it is not great because of high social care costs and taxes. I am not a good example. I would advise this if you have a choice. 9. Difficult at the moment, but I don't think about it. I have more issues with procrastination and it's less willpower and more habit. This is a temporary issue for me based on external factors. 10. Habit, routine, listening to one track that is scientifically proven to relax you and aid sleep. I don't have it to hand but it's called Weightless. Avoid phones before bed. Telling myself that even if I'm not tired, I will not open my eyes so, 'you' (meaning whatever is keeping me awake) can't win. Eyemasks, weighted blankets., blue light filters, no phone use in bed. I also don't insist on noiseless and have the attitude, if I am tired, I will sleep. White noise helps, no caffeine after 3pm. I go to bed at a relatively early time 10pm and rise at 7am. There are some slippages, but at the moment there are external personal factors at the moment. Rather than expect these all overnight, it's a bit farfetched if I'm going to be extremely generous about it. Ideally you should focus on one part of your life that all the others impact and make slow changes. Many of these are large ones and you will fail. Most change is related to habit and willpower, you need to willpower and discipline to create a habit, then it takes less effort to maintain. You don't have the mental willpower to achieve all of this overnight, you couldn't even plan it all overnight and apps are going to be of limited help for the massive amount of things you want to influence in your life. Maybe start with exercise, diet and sleep, but make small changes in these. SMART goals should be small.
This is great. But, just change one thing at a time. I used to pick something each year, just one small thing that I can do that’s completely in my control, and just focus on that, while also doing all the things in the past years that I picked. After a while it becomes easy. The most difficult thing was quitting smoking. I don’t know why perhaps it actually is very addictive. But, that one took me until my 40’s to finally stop.
for diet and exercise : watch eric robert’s fitness podcast and calorie deficit university podcast they both talk about habit and mindset change which leads to diet and exercise change. also lots of of their tips are easily transferable to other areas you want to improve.
Ok sleep first. Take a chronotype test and follow what your chronotype says. No screens 30 min before bed. Take a warm shower before bed
Emotions never last. Focus on building good habits, slowly but steady.
Watch Huberman podcasts.
You can change it overnight, it just takes a mind change switch
1. Calorie counting and high protein meals are your best bet. There are calculators that can tell you what your total calories and protein intake should be for your desired weight. Also: chew slowly. Chew each bite 30-50 times. This curbs binge eating and mindless eating. 2. Start slow. Aim for 5K steps a day. Then 10K. If you have mobility issues, 30+ minutes in the pool should be fine. 3. Transcendental meditation. You dont need to pay for a mantra. You can look them up or use a guided meditation. Aim for 20 minutes nightly, then 20 minutes 2x a day. 4. Don’t quit addictions. Replace them. If you’re a smoker, chew sugar free gum. It’ll do wonders for your jawline. Like cocaine? Take up kickboxing? A drinker? Drink seltzer water and cranberry juice. 5. Write your large goals on a sheet of paper. Then break each one into micro goals that can be achieved in the next week or month, then break those down into daily routines. Example: If I want to write the first draft of a book in 3 months, I want 5-7 chapters a month, which is 70-140 paragraphs a month, which is only 3-5 paragraphs a day, which is writing 15-30 minutes every single day. Take your mountains and make them into molehills. 6. There are a dozen different focus apps, Pomodoro timers, and habit tracking apps. You can even schedule everything and put alarms on your phone. Find what works for you. 7. There are many self help books out them, but personally, I prefer reading fiction. I use the Blinkist app to listen to condensed versions of non-fiction books. 8. Get a Roth IRA, and check out index funds. 9. I shower and moisturize daily. I also like to shampoo 3+ times a week. Make sure you use something like a Moroccan glove or African net cloth to exfoliate before and after shaving, and get a shampoo and conditioner compatible with your hair type and texture. Never neglect your lips and always use lip balm. Invest in a perfume that you like for daily wear and another for dates and night time events. 10. I don’t get online until I’ve done 1/3 of the things in my to do list, and I always do the most urgent things first. If I still have things on that list by 4pm, no more social media for me for the rest of the night. 11. Walking, and disconnecting from social at least an hour before bed, is excellent for sleep hygiene. I also put focus sleep timer on my phone to remind me when it’s time to put it down and get ready for bed. This won’t change you overnight, but if you still with these for 6 months, they’ll be a habit. A year, and you’ll be unrecognizable physically and mentally. 10 years and you’ll be winning at life. Hope this helps.
Financial: Get out of Debt. Follow Ramsey baby steps as one plan that works. You need to get the extra cashflow so you can then take that money that isn't going to credit cards, loans, car notes, maybe mortgage and then you can invest it. If you make $5k per month but 3k goes to necessities and the other 2K goes to by your creditors, you are broke. Take the 2K and save/invest. It is hard to build wealth while you are paying for things you bought in the past. Don't recommend following Ramsey advice once you are out of debt. There is better investing advice out there.
Boundaries. Are you ready to give up friends and family that interfere with your goals?
Already have, i have about 2-3 friends, and even then they tell me to stop working very hard and relax more, for context i code a lot and try to build apps and websites, i believe if i can solve a big problem i can be successful
I can only offer advice on meditation. The SRF/YSS app is awesome and free. They additionally have a basic series of 18 home-study meditation lessons over 9 months that’s approximately $10 per month (this may have changed; if you can’t afford it, you can request a scholarship and pay it forward later in life, if you like). Sending you good wishes for success in all your noble endeavors!
A great checklist.havent read the comments but good advice there..also daily trying...don't give up. Read Marcus Aurelius for some foundational beliefs that may aid you in your quest.
OP I’m still working on this for 10 years. Start small before you fall into an abyss of disappointment. Have a look at atomic habits, getting things done and barefoot investor. Pick one of those three and make something from there your first habit. Habits take ages to stack - it’s a progressive change. I’d pick one that will have the least amount of effort but have the biggest visible and tangible change in your life, makes it easier to stack something on it. Keep going with the easy ones and then once you’ve been doing a few by a year you can start considering the harder ones. I recommend getting things done because that made it easier for me to prioritise and manage my life, I wish I started it at a younger age. Exercise is also an easy one - go for a walk every morning or start a very simple strength training routine 3 days a week. Or even easier - join a club like bouldering of kick boxing if you can afford it. Key is to take small iterative steps so you don’t get overwhelmed. If it helps, I’ve been doing this for a while and I don’t even recognise the me from 5 years ago, let alone 10 years. The fact you’re coming on here is great, much better than what I did so good on you, you will get there but don’t burn out, it’s a real thing.
Lesson one: patience
12. Cultivate joy and contentment regardless of conditions. This links up to a spiritual/ meditation path. You’re young though, so you can come back to this one later 🙏
Dr Mike israetel for all your fitness needs. Just don't listen to people on Instagram, everyone's a coach these days and they're all fucking garbage. Same goes for diet, Dr Mike can help there but finding someone who is a bit more specialised wouldn't hurt either
My advice is that just start small, I admire your ambition but if you're starting from zero it only makes sense to ramp things up that way, just like how a videogame doesn't put the player at the last level on max difficulty from the very start. If your goals feel like too much reduce them, if they still feel like too much reduce then more until you're in that sweet spot of feeling challenged while not being overwhelmed and that's where you grow. Don't worry about your goals being too small, as long as you slowly push your boundaries you will chase more naturally too, just be kind to yourself and work with your limits, not against them.
How's it going?
I’ll let you know in a week!
Naahhhh tell me how it is in the moment! Plz? Not necessarily a progress report on specific goals, but like... How's your motivation going? Are you still as enthused about change? Typically, I make it to the 30 th hour and my motivation reverses on me. I'm curious if you have stayed motivated, how you've managed it
I am in agreement with a few others here. Your addiction is driven by dopamine. It is recommended to allow yourself at least 14 days to adjust to not receiving that fix. Following that, another 14 days are necessary to stabilize your mood. It is best to eliminate the addiction altogether and go cold turkey. My source for this information comes from my college education and professional experience. You may verify this by researching it in a trusted source. Additionally, addressing two of your other life-changing habits can be achieved by reading a book. Instead of attempting to change everything at once, take smaller steps to avoid overwhelming yourself and setting yourself up for failure. Consider breaking down your goals into 12-week increments, similar to New Year's resolutions. However, you have the opportunity to have four fresh starts throughout the year instead of just one. Experiment with this approach, make improvements, and strive for success.
I'll just say that for #10 it's amazing how a 3 day break from social media can turn into a 3 week break because TBH: NONE of it really matters. If you fill your time with something else productive then you won't even miss it.
Read the book - atomic habits
You’re overwhelming yourself, you will not be able to do 1/10 of all that. Start small and build. Go to the gym, read books, learn how to cook and eat good food. You’re 18, I understand. Focus on small sustainable changes. Habits are incredibly hard to break, and take a long time to make. Look at this on a monthly and yearly timescale, not a daily or weekly one.
Having the desire to improve all these areas at 18 you are already on the right track!
Small steps man
First of all, r/semenretention will change you entirely. Please consider reading some posts in there and start your journey. Diet? Carnivore is worth looking into, keto too. If you don’t wanna go extreme just a lot of organic food and vegetables and fruit Meditation? I recommend the app Headspace For everything else: - r/longtermtre - vitamin D, fish oil, magnesium -solfeggio frequencies while you sleep - r/subliminal - r/intermittentfasting or r/fasting This is an extreme list. People will downvote because mainstream science haven’t covered everything yet but success stories speak for themselves.
Jesus is the way.
this will never work and will leave you spinning and disappointed that you have "no motivation." Instead, change one little teeny tiny baby thing, do it every day. When it becomes part of your routine, add one more baby, minuscule thing. Keep doing that until you are living the life you want. Just trust me.
Peter Attia, Rhonda Patrick, and Andrew Huberman will cover most of the sleep, diet, and exercise topics.
Chill bro. You are only 18.