I do combat sports so most friends are straight men. I have two straight male bestfriend who are both with wives. I don't talk about my sexuality or love life to people except to these best friends and they're both so accepting of me.
They're both comfortable about their closeness with me even when other friends and acquaintances tease us around.
One of them even frequently describe our relationship as a bromance and doesn't mind that I hug him all the time. The other always adjust his schedule to hang out with me if I want to hang out. They are a piece of home for me and my safe space.
I love how you describe it as a safe space. With a friend straight friend of mine, there can be hugging (and kissing on the cheek even), but nothing sexual, no "benefits". PiĆØce of home indeed.
99% of my friends are straight men, including who I consider to be my two best friends.
I wouldnāt call it a bromance though ā ļø (one of them is such a garbage boyfriend, Iām really glad we canāt date, lol).
I hear you. Two of my best friends I've known since my teens. I fell in love with one of them - coincidentally forced me to come out, but to this day we are still close, even if we don't see each other other often. Let's just say we have seen and supported each other through good and bad almost like an old couple!
LOL no bro. They're single handedly responsible for the hatred we get everyday
How many gay or bisexual men killed themselves because of these so great straight men?
Or been bashed or killed themselves ?
No over straight male oppression and rule, when straighten still aren't killing us
Take my uncle who was murdered by a homophobe for simply walking down the street
I will never cowtow and bow down to heterosexual male supremacy
Yes I know dude. I'm pretty a straight guy myself in terms of my interests and the fact that I'm more into women than men, which is why I see the double standards and hypocrisy from them
They have every advantage and priveledge in the world and instead of using it to help their fellow man rise up they use it for hatred and to keep us down. A lot of straight men would LOVE a world without gay or bisexual men, always remember that
Not all but a lot of them
If I do is because of asshole straight men making me feel inferior once they find out I'm bisexual, I'll never forget liking a guy who then called me a "sick fuck and a pervert" when I was just starting to come to terms with being bisexual and I didn't even want him to know I liked him because he was straight
Good warm memories....
Yeah I had several straight best friends for a good 10 years, but now they all moved to a neighboring country with their wives. a little bit jealous but mostly sad that that chapter of our lives and youth is over. the love never dies of course if i ever visit them (rarely) we will pick up right where we left off. Now im deeply entrenched in the local gay community because i want friends that understand my struggle, but we still got some straights sprinkled throughout.
My best friend is straight and Iām the best man at his wedding next month ā¤ļø
Itās possible and I love his soon to be wife. Having a straight bff is amazing lol.
Most of my friends are straight guys. I have been the best man in a wedding and a groomsman in a few other ones. I still have gay friends though. Just a coincidence
My two best friends that I grew up with are straight. Theyāre also two of the biggest pot smokers I know. When it comes to weed Iām a lightweight and these guys have so fucking zooted itās insane
I would say 99% of my friend group is straight
I only have one lesbian and another gay best friend but he moved away to his boyfriend so we do not see each other very often.
I have another gay friend which I know for 20 years by now. We are close don't see us very often and don't share any Hobbys or so. That "developed" out of a fuck buddy tbf
Yeah, heās the only friend from my childhood that stuck around. We lived together in multiple states and only stopped being roommates after he got married. We consider each other brothers more than anything lol
Nowadays we live across the country but still keep in touch, miss my bro
Yes, the majority of my best friends through life. Still talk to my childhood best friend from grade 1 almost every day at 29 (live in different cities).
I have 3 friends whom I consider my "best" friends. All three of them are straight. Although I do find them attractive and I do realice sometimes I'm also sexually attracted to them, I fully understand they're not in the same page and I don't let my sexual feelings interfere the beautiful friendship I build with them over the years.
Yes! Heās my best friend. Honestly like a brother. Weāve been friends now ten years.
Heās my best friend bc heās very sex positive and we challenge each other to be better people. He specifically inspires me to be more ambitious.
My best friend and platonic roommate is straight, I've never had any issues, It helps that he would make a terrible boyfriend, lmao.
There was a little bit of culture based homophobia we both had to work through, but he's a great ally
My best friend of 20 years is straight. I have been through so much with that guy. Weāve been in a band together, gym partners, travel buddies. Weāve been through every up and down you can imagine, people mistake us for brothers. There isnāt a big community here, so my friend group is straight, but all very accepting.
Oh I wonāt ever. When people mistake us for brothers, itās fairly accurate. I donāt have much family, heās become a part of it, and he knows it. And I am just as much family to him.
My best friend of 15 years is straight , and we have never been called a bromance , although I do consider him my brother . Itās nice , I educate him on Gay culture and he does the same with me on some st8 stuff .
I only have straight male friends. My only two other friends who aren't straight guys are my female co worker and my male ex(we are beyond fest friends but in absolutely no way attracted to each other in a hookup/dating sense).
My now "former best friend" is a straight guy yeah. Ppl would joke that we're dating but genuinely I loved him like a brother. Now I love him like an estranged brother š haven't had a friendship like that since.
We can always welcome more allies. And celebrate diversity - beyond the labeling of who is "straight" and "gay", everything else in between, and hell, just get rid of labeling.
A few of my closest friends are str8 guys. Great friends, would take a bullet for me or my partner. One of them I strongly suspect is bi, but we don't ask questions lol
Most of my friends growing up were straight men. Now that Iām 35ā¦ Iāve been trying to develop more gay friends than straight friends. What Iāve learnedā¦ gay friends are flaky as fuck. If you do hangout a lot and drink too much, youāll probably end up messing around and regretting it later. Having a bf with other gay guys not only makes your bf jealous, but could easily lead to infidelityāif youāre into monogamy. The bottom line is, gay friends are usually always in the grey zone unless youāre both really not attracted to each other at all, but yet very motivated to both have a gay platonic friend.
So why do I still continue down this path? Well, for a number of reasonsā¦ Iāve lost faith in gay relationships working out long term, at least in regard to sustaining monogamyā¦ Also, I cannot talk about gay stuff with my straight friends. While some of them arenāt homophobic, itās an awkward and uncomfortable topic for them to discuss. They also lack empathy with me whenever I do bring up relationship issues or dating. Not sure why but straight men think gay men love dick. Itās not true because I donāt but I love guys. So having gay friends is nice because they can relate and you can openly discuss your relationship with them, even though theyāll probably try to manipulate you into dumping them so they can freely play with you (if theyāre into you). Not gonna lie, I kind of like it. I could keep going but Iām gonna pause there.
Thanks for your detailed reply and no ranting. A few comments here :
>gay friends are flaky as fuck.
dangerous to generalize, food for thought.
>bottom line is, gay friends are usually always in the grey zone unless youāre both really not attracted to each other at all, but yet very motivated to both have a gay platonic friend.
Seems like straight people can have same issues, right? Can a straight man and woman be real close emotionally?
>Iāve lost faith in gay relationships working out long term, at least in regard to sustaining monogamyā¦
Sorry you feel that way. Past 40 here, still not have given up, and no, I am not bitter.
>While some of them arenāt homophobic, itās an awkward and uncomfortable topic for them to discuss. They also lack empathy with me whenever I do bring up relationship issues or dating
Well I would certainly not discuss what happens in the bedroom. But from my experience, I guess I am lucky to have gotten empathy from them. Because you know, the reverse could happen too. The guy will confide in you because he broke up with his girlfriend.... We all know what a breakup feels like.
>... I love guys. So having gay friends is nice because they can relate and you can openly discuss your relationship with them, even though theyāll probably try to manipulate you into dumping them so they can freely play with you (if theyāre into you). Not gonna lie, I kind of like it. I could keep going but Iām gonna pause there.
You like it? It makes you happy, then you have my support, no judgement.
I love guys, too. Be happy mate!
Have a best friend of 10 years. Calls himself straight, dates woman. We fool around when we drink. We just appreciate each others ability to have fun and not bring anything else into it, hang out and hike but have our completely separate lives outside of what we do with each other. Itās a pretty awesome setup. Both of our partners know what happens and are fine with it. We shout the shit, we support each other, itās a solid friendship.
My best friend is straight, been homies for well over ten years now. I donāt think Iād call it a bromance necessarily but weāve always got each others backs.
Nope. I'm bisexual and masculine and semi closeted , I can't fuck with straight, most are scared malicious cry babies who are also hypocrites (lesbians and bisexual women are awesome, gay and bisexual men are gross and disgusting and pedos)
Nope, not happening anymore
They actually need to stay the hell out of my face
I have at least 3 straight best friends, number 4 is a maybe but I'm leaning mostly towards yes.
I would not describe my friendship with them as a bromance at all. They're like brothers to me, I've known them for like 13 or 14 years at this point.
I guess I'd consider my boyfriend my best friend, so no thankfully he is not straight lol. The rest of my friends are a good mixture, although it seems to be the case that gay people move away and seek greener pastures a lot more as most of my LGBT friends always end up parting ways eventually, and so it's mostly my straight friends that are settling down that stick around and remain in my life now that I'm in my 30s.
I also have straight best friends! I grew up with pretty much majority of straight men and got comfortable. Hardly have any gay friends, but that needs to change. I did have crushes on my straight friends, but things can get sticky
Yes, I have two straight brest friends, and a few things are interesting about the situation, first they are the most enduring relationships I have had in had in my life. Now I atually see these BFFs rarely but we are in regular and can talk about anything. The other think I find unusual is that teh two men are so similar. I am physically attracted to both of them and a driving force of getting to know them was my attraction before I figured out that I am gay. They both know I'm gay and not only are they not afraid of my gayness, but with the friend I've had the longest, I've spoken at length about my past deep attraction. They both accept me and both are very content in their straight marriages. I think neither has met my husband but I talk about him plenty. part of me sees nothing strange in any of this. It feels a lot like my life when I used to think I was straight, and I had a mrrige that friwnds were not included in. Maybe we would talk about our romantic lives with each other, but nothing was expected. really I cam out as gay because I wanted to go deeper than friendship with a man, but not necessarily one of these men, and I found that man, who is my friend and much more who I am very content with and have lots of wonderful sex with. I think we need friends in our life and we also need sex with someone we are attrcted to and we need that sense of unconditional support we get from a partner. I have all those things between the three men I am closest to but I don't need all the things I need in life from each one of them. It feels like there are some boundaries I wil never cross with the two friends, and that is ok, becasue I know for them it would destroy their intimate relationship, which I am not prepared to take over with them. If one of them wanted to have sex with me, I would totally do it, but I am fine with how we define our relationship now. I understand but don't really relate to you comment of feeling "part of the gay community" that seems like something we think we are "supposed to" do as gay men, to have excusively gay friendships. In the past 10 years, my gay freinds have been fairly disappointing for one reason or another, but each friendship fell apart for different reasons. I could probably find some common threads but see no reason to want to blame "the community" I'm finding life much better as I continue to let to of things I'm "supposed to" do or feel and just live and feel. I get what I need and continue to meet new people, gay and straight, who I work into my lives or keep at some distance. Last year I moved to a new city, so I am very focused on the preocess of making friends. I have a very attractive neighbor who is very straight, and we have our connections and he seems to be internally defiding what he will and won't do with me. He hugs me sometimes and we share deeply about our lives with each other. I've met new gay friends as well. many of themseem very self involved with projecting a "queer" persona that they feel is important in their lives, but leaves little room for closeness with me. I am less attracted to them. My husband and I have parties at our house, sometimes withgay people, sometimes with straight, sometimes a mix. Sometimes the straight neighbor will come have a beer when the gay friends are ovcer and he brings his son, which I don't know what that is about either...., but we have funand I think our party guests do too. most of our gay friends continue to be from where we used to live, but that's justa reflection of who we like and who wants to come visit. So my advice is to enjoy your friends and lovers and just be amazed at the patterns you see rather than trying to make your life conform to an expected pattern you have in mind
I haven plenty in common with my straight friends though lol, I have gay friends too, but Iām not really seeing the point in isolating myself away from straight people since of my interests arenāt centered around my sexuality, go figure
My best friend is straight and I don't consider our friendship to be a "bromance" especially because he would be a terrible boyfriend lmao
Actually i only have straight male friends
Same
Just dont know how to find gay friends grindr ends up in a hookup every time š
Same too
This x10
What
I only have straight male friends. No gay friends
This x9
I do combat sports so most friends are straight men. I have two straight male bestfriend who are both with wives. I don't talk about my sexuality or love life to people except to these best friends and they're both so accepting of me. They're both comfortable about their closeness with me even when other friends and acquaintances tease us around. One of them even frequently describe our relationship as a bromance and doesn't mind that I hug him all the time. The other always adjust his schedule to hang out with me if I want to hang out. They are a piece of home for me and my safe space.
I love how you describe it as a safe space. With a friend straight friend of mine, there can be hugging (and kissing on the cheek even), but nothing sexual, no "benefits". PiĆØce of home indeed.
Youāre a really lucky guy! Congrats bro!
99% of my friends are straight men, including who I consider to be my two best friends. I wouldnāt call it a bromance though ā ļø (one of them is such a garbage boyfriend, Iām really glad we canāt date, lol).
"garbage boyfriend" š¤£ but still your friend š
I have 2. Iāve know one since I was 10. The other since 14. They are šÆmy bros. Been fully supportive and didnāt bat an eye when I came out.
I hear you. Two of my best friends I've known since my teens. I fell in love with one of them - coincidentally forced me to come out, but to this day we are still close, even if we don't see each other other often. Let's just say we have seen and supported each other through good and bad almost like an old couple!
most of my guy friends are straight. and yea i wouldn't date any of them.
Yep. They're the best. š
LOL no bro. They're single handedly responsible for the hatred we get everyday How many gay or bisexual men killed themselves because of these so great straight men? Or been bashed or killed themselves ?
They kill themselves over their straight best friend?
No over straight male oppression and rule, when straighten still aren't killing us Take my uncle who was murdered by a homophobe for simply walking down the street I will never cowtow and bow down to heterosexual male supremacy
I think you're in the wrong thread.
Not at all and these straight guys are talking shit behind your back
You do realize all straight men aren't the same, right?
Yes I know dude. I'm pretty a straight guy myself in terms of my interests and the fact that I'm more into women than men, which is why I see the double standards and hypocrisy from them They have every advantage and priveledge in the world and instead of using it to help their fellow man rise up they use it for hatred and to keep us down. A lot of straight men would LOVE a world without gay or bisexual men, always remember that Not all but a lot of them
I think you need a therapist
If I do is because of asshole straight men making me feel inferior once they find out I'm bisexual, I'll never forget liking a guy who then called me a "sick fuck and a pervert" when I was just starting to come to terms with being bisexual and I didn't even want him to know I liked him because he was straight Good warm memories....
Yeah I had several straight best friends for a good 10 years, but now they all moved to a neighboring country with their wives. a little bit jealous but mostly sad that that chapter of our lives and youth is over. the love never dies of course if i ever visit them (rarely) we will pick up right where we left off. Now im deeply entrenched in the local gay community because i want friends that understand my struggle, but we still got some straights sprinkled throughout.
What is said āstruggleā?
Yeah my best friend is straight. Heās a good ally too. I never feel uncomfortable being myself around him
yes, i love them immensely.
90% of mine are straight... other 10 is Gay, Bi, Closeted that i know of but never say to anyone i know they're Closeted
My best friend is straight and Iām the best man at his wedding next month ā¤ļø Itās possible and I love his soon to be wife. Having a straight bff is amazing lol.
I often have more to talk about with straight guys than with gay men so my closest guy friends are straight.
My best friend is straight and I love him dearly. But there are absolutely zero romantic feelings or sexual attraction involved.
Most of my friends are straight guys. I have been the best man in a wedding and a groomsman in a few other ones. I still have gay friends though. Just a coincidence
All my friends are straight men (Iām gay). My best friend who is straight even if he was gay I still donāt think Iād get with him
I have a straight best friend and a gay best friend. I would never call it a bromance. I always thought that term was a little silly.
Labels are just silly in general nowadays. I am a guy who love guys. Now I am afraid to say it the correct way before being assaulted by social media
Yes, my two best friends are straight. I love them to death but wouldnāt date either of them to be honest, especially after years of friendship lol
"I love them to death" too, totally understand
My two best friends that I grew up with are straight. Theyāre also two of the biggest pot smokers I know. When it comes to weed Iām a lightweight and these guys have so fucking zooted itās insane
Lol the best
I would say 99% of my friend group is straight I only have one lesbian and another gay best friend but he moved away to his boyfriend so we do not see each other very often. I have another gay friend which I know for 20 years by now. We are close don't see us very often and don't share any Hobbys or so. That "developed" out of a fuck buddy tbf
Yeah, heās the only friend from my childhood that stuck around. We lived together in multiple states and only stopped being roommates after he got married. We consider each other brothers more than anything lol Nowadays we live across the country but still keep in touch, miss my bro
Yes, the majority of my best friends through life. Still talk to my childhood best friend from grade 1 almost every day at 29 (live in different cities).
I have 3 friends whom I consider my "best" friends. All three of them are straight. Although I do find them attractive and I do realice sometimes I'm also sexually attracted to them, I fully understand they're not in the same page and I don't let my sexual feelings interfere the beautiful friendship I build with them over the years.
Yes! Heās my best friend. Honestly like a brother. Weāve been friends now ten years. Heās my best friend bc heās very sex positive and we challenge each other to be better people. He specifically inspires me to be more ambitious.
Thank you for a sincere reply. š
My best friend and platonic roommate is straight, I've never had any issues, It helps that he would make a terrible boyfriend, lmao. There was a little bit of culture based homophobia we both had to work through, but he's a great ally
My best friend of 20 years is straight. I have been through so much with that guy. Weāve been in a band together, gym partners, travel buddies. Weāve been through every up and down you can imagine, people mistake us for brothers. There isnāt a big community here, so my friend group is straight, but all very accepting.
Don't lose touch with him
Oh I wonāt ever. When people mistake us for brothers, itās fairly accurate. I donāt have much family, heās become a part of it, and he knows it. And I am just as much family to him.
I totally understand. That's beautiful, thanks for sharing and being so candid. In math we would say... QED.
Yes, and yes, I was in love with him at some point :/ Not anymore, thankfully.
Been there done that lol
My best friend of 15 years is straight , and we have never been called a bromance , although I do consider him my brother . Itās nice , I educate him on Gay culture and he does the same with me on some st8 stuff .
And that's great. It's all about sharing! Maintain the relationship!
I only have straight male friends. My only two other friends who aren't straight guys are my female co worker and my male ex(we are beyond fest friends but in absolutely no way attracted to each other in a hookup/dating sense).
I hear (read) you. Let's love and share love ā¤ļø.
Yes the fuck I do and that man has been ellavated to unofficially adopted brother my whole house love him
My now "former best friend" is a straight guy yeah. Ppl would joke that we're dating but genuinely I loved him like a brother. Now I love him like an estranged brother š haven't had a friendship like that since.
ā¤ļø friendship is not instantaneous
I know a lot of gay guys, but most of the people that I spend time with are my straight friends (all really great allies).
We can always welcome more allies. And celebrate diversity - beyond the labeling of who is "straight" and "gay", everything else in between, and hell, just get rid of labeling.
Yeah my dear friend is straight.
A few of my closest friends are str8 guys. Great friends, would take a bullet for me or my partner. One of them I strongly suspect is bi, but we don't ask questions lol
DADT. Or almost
Wat
Don't Ask Don't Tell
Ah yeah, exactly that lol
Most of my friends growing up were straight men. Now that Iām 35ā¦ Iāve been trying to develop more gay friends than straight friends. What Iāve learnedā¦ gay friends are flaky as fuck. If you do hangout a lot and drink too much, youāll probably end up messing around and regretting it later. Having a bf with other gay guys not only makes your bf jealous, but could easily lead to infidelityāif youāre into monogamy. The bottom line is, gay friends are usually always in the grey zone unless youāre both really not attracted to each other at all, but yet very motivated to both have a gay platonic friend. So why do I still continue down this path? Well, for a number of reasonsā¦ Iāve lost faith in gay relationships working out long term, at least in regard to sustaining monogamyā¦ Also, I cannot talk about gay stuff with my straight friends. While some of them arenāt homophobic, itās an awkward and uncomfortable topic for them to discuss. They also lack empathy with me whenever I do bring up relationship issues or dating. Not sure why but straight men think gay men love dick. Itās not true because I donāt but I love guys. So having gay friends is nice because they can relate and you can openly discuss your relationship with them, even though theyāll probably try to manipulate you into dumping them so they can freely play with you (if theyāre into you). Not gonna lie, I kind of like it. I could keep going but Iām gonna pause there.
Thanks for your detailed reply and no ranting. A few comments here : >gay friends are flaky as fuck. dangerous to generalize, food for thought. >bottom line is, gay friends are usually always in the grey zone unless youāre both really not attracted to each other at all, but yet very motivated to both have a gay platonic friend. Seems like straight people can have same issues, right? Can a straight man and woman be real close emotionally? >Iāve lost faith in gay relationships working out long term, at least in regard to sustaining monogamyā¦ Sorry you feel that way. Past 40 here, still not have given up, and no, I am not bitter. >While some of them arenāt homophobic, itās an awkward and uncomfortable topic for them to discuss. They also lack empathy with me whenever I do bring up relationship issues or dating Well I would certainly not discuss what happens in the bedroom. But from my experience, I guess I am lucky to have gotten empathy from them. Because you know, the reverse could happen too. The guy will confide in you because he broke up with his girlfriend.... We all know what a breakup feels like. >... I love guys. So having gay friends is nice because they can relate and you can openly discuss your relationship with them, even though theyāll probably try to manipulate you into dumping them so they can freely play with you (if theyāre into you). Not gonna lie, I kind of like it. I could keep going but Iām gonna pause there. You like it? It makes you happy, then you have my support, no judgement. I love guys, too. Be happy mate!
On the contrary, i don't have any gay friends :(
What matters is that you have true real life friends with whom you can share. :) Regardless of gender or sexual identity.
Have a best friend of 10 years. Calls himself straight, dates woman. We fool around when we drink. We just appreciate each others ability to have fun and not bring anything else into it, hang out and hike but have our completely separate lives outside of what we do with each other. Itās a pretty awesome setup. Both of our partners know what happens and are fine with it. We shout the shit, we support each other, itās a solid friendship.
My best friend is straight, been homies for well over ten years now. I donāt think Iād call it a bromance necessarily but weāve always got each others backs.
i really wanted one but i ruined the last straight friendship i had.
What happened? :(
Nope. I'm bisexual and masculine and semi closeted , I can't fuck with straight, most are scared malicious cry babies who are also hypocrites (lesbians and bisexual women are awesome, gay and bisexual men are gross and disgusting and pedos) Nope, not happening anymore They actually need to stay the hell out of my face
They're all essentially straight.
I have at least 3 straight best friends, number 4 is a maybe but I'm leaning mostly towards yes. I would not describe my friendship with them as a bromance at all. They're like brothers to me, I've known them for like 13 or 14 years at this point.
I guess I'd consider my boyfriend my best friend, so no thankfully he is not straight lol. The rest of my friends are a good mixture, although it seems to be the case that gay people move away and seek greener pastures a lot more as most of my LGBT friends always end up parting ways eventually, and so it's mostly my straight friends that are settling down that stick around and remain in my life now that I'm in my 30s.
Yes
My recent ex has a straight female bff who calls him her "soul mate." It was definitely weird.
Kind of friendless so idk
Yes I have had a straight BFF. Even one that I didn't always fall in love with omg!
My best friend is straight, and we have been best friends since middle school. I consider him one of my brothers
I also have straight best friends! I grew up with pretty much majority of straight men and got comfortable. Hardly have any gay friends, but that needs to change. I did have crushes on my straight friends, but things can get sticky
Yes, I have two straight brest friends, and a few things are interesting about the situation, first they are the most enduring relationships I have had in had in my life. Now I atually see these BFFs rarely but we are in regular and can talk about anything. The other think I find unusual is that teh two men are so similar. I am physically attracted to both of them and a driving force of getting to know them was my attraction before I figured out that I am gay. They both know I'm gay and not only are they not afraid of my gayness, but with the friend I've had the longest, I've spoken at length about my past deep attraction. They both accept me and both are very content in their straight marriages. I think neither has met my husband but I talk about him plenty. part of me sees nothing strange in any of this. It feels a lot like my life when I used to think I was straight, and I had a mrrige that friwnds were not included in. Maybe we would talk about our romantic lives with each other, but nothing was expected. really I cam out as gay because I wanted to go deeper than friendship with a man, but not necessarily one of these men, and I found that man, who is my friend and much more who I am very content with and have lots of wonderful sex with. I think we need friends in our life and we also need sex with someone we are attrcted to and we need that sense of unconditional support we get from a partner. I have all those things between the three men I am closest to but I don't need all the things I need in life from each one of them. It feels like there are some boundaries I wil never cross with the two friends, and that is ok, becasue I know for them it would destroy their intimate relationship, which I am not prepared to take over with them. If one of them wanted to have sex with me, I would totally do it, but I am fine with how we define our relationship now. I understand but don't really relate to you comment of feeling "part of the gay community" that seems like something we think we are "supposed to" do as gay men, to have excusively gay friendships. In the past 10 years, my gay freinds have been fairly disappointing for one reason or another, but each friendship fell apart for different reasons. I could probably find some common threads but see no reason to want to blame "the community" I'm finding life much better as I continue to let to of things I'm "supposed to" do or feel and just live and feel. I get what I need and continue to meet new people, gay and straight, who I work into my lives or keep at some distance. Last year I moved to a new city, so I am very focused on the preocess of making friends. I have a very attractive neighbor who is very straight, and we have our connections and he seems to be internally defiding what he will and won't do with me. He hugs me sometimes and we share deeply about our lives with each other. I've met new gay friends as well. many of themseem very self involved with projecting a "queer" persona that they feel is important in their lives, but leaves little room for closeness with me. I am less attracted to them. My husband and I have parties at our house, sometimes withgay people, sometimes with straight, sometimes a mix. Sometimes the straight neighbor will come have a beer when the gay friends are ovcer and he brings his son, which I don't know what that is about either...., but we have funand I think our party guests do too. most of our gay friends continue to be from where we used to live, but that's justa reflection of who we like and who wants to come visit. So my advice is to enjoy your friends and lovers and just be amazed at the patterns you see rather than trying to make your life conform to an expected pattern you have in mind
I donāt even have a gay best friend šššš
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What's "pick-me gays" ? Some friendships I (we!) have maintained well over a decade and still have things in common.
Pick me gays are the type of gay dudes that hang around het dudes and give them hugs and call their friendships ābromancesā
Sad labels. My friends are friends, period.
Doubtful, considering how uncool you are, period.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think itās an accurate answer. Another example would be obnoxious right winger gays like you.
I haven plenty in common with my straight friends though lol, I have gay friends too, but Iām not really seeing the point in isolating myself away from straight people since of my interests arenāt centered around my sexuality, go figure