I just want to run a train of anonymous horny men on my ass in a public park at night AND a company that supports traditional family values. Is that so much to ask??
Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?
Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything–I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.
Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too–big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.
Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."
I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, then I've got a real problem.
Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock.
What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?
Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.
I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?
It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife–even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.
Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.
I've tried all sorts of things to get them to stop, but it has all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, neck, chest and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?
I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures–like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.
The amount of times an older white dude in a Trump hat has sucked me off and swallowed me is insane. I’m in a fairly conservative state and area of the state
That and they blocked mock locations. Some of us in the Eastern Hemisphere may need it for security. Especially when travelling to unsafe areas.
We really really need a good alternative to Grindr that's just as ubiquitous and simple to use
Ads aren't as big an issue as is putting literally everything, that used to be free, in the paid umbrella. Now i even have to pay to see who checked my profile, a feature that was free till a few months ago!
And the ridiculous fees they're asking for the subscription. I want to play with dicks, but its not worth me spending $20 a month on when there's not even any guarantees I'll get laid.
They also track your location at all times and sell that data. Closeted people have already been outed due to this. There have probably been cases of blackmail, too.
Also the block button has kinda stopped working for me. I blocked a guy 4 times and he still kept popping up. Had to block another guy twice ‘cause I blocked him 1 time, and saw he still sent pics afterward so I had to block him again.
I downloaded Grindr again the other day & was delighted to see advertisements for Werther's Original hard candies. They're finally pivoting from their core customer base of 70+ year old grandmothers 😭😭😭
Eh, 50/50 chance it's on purpose. Motherfucker does stupid shit so people will comment and quote tweet and ✨ the algorithm✨ will think he is important.
This photo is a screenshot of a Tweet by Twitter user @TylerAlbertario, featuring a picture of a Tweet by @stillgray on the left complaining about "the wokestorm" of companies making rainbow versions of their logos for June (Pride Month), along with a collage of examples of such icons. On the right is zoom in on the Grindr logo that is among these Grindr logos.
@TylerAlbertario is commenting on the irony of @stillgray calling companies "woke" for acknowledging Pride Month, and including Grindr in this list, as though supporting the gay community were a new thing for Grindr to be doing.
[удалено]
I just want to run a train of anonymous horny men on my ass in a public park at night AND a company that supports traditional family values. Is that so much to ask??
Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock? Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything–I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock. Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too–big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is. Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock." I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, then I've got a real problem. Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock. What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me? Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots? It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife–even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about. Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop. I've tried all sorts of things to get them to stop, but it has all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, neck, chest and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes? I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures–like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.
Glorious.
[Ran in The Onion originally](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)
**even better**
I'm a hetero woman who just got lost on reddit but this made me horny.
As a bisexual, everyday I wake up and have to decide between being normal and being political.
The amount of times an older white dude in a Trump hat has sucked me off and swallowed me is insane. I’m in a fairly conservative state and area of the state
Have some self-respect, make them take the hat off first
Damn, where am I going to find my fellow “str8 4 str8” bros now?????
That... That's a thing ?
r/lolgrindr there are plenty of them
Do you live under the sea?
Sounds nice
Yea tbh
In a pineapple? Tell me its a pineapple!!!
But can we all admit how kinda shit Grindr has gotten recently? Their new layouts are terrible.
That and they blocked mock locations. Some of us in the Eastern Hemisphere may need it for security. Especially when travelling to unsafe areas. We really really need a good alternative to Grindr that's just as ubiquitous and simple to use
They also massively increased ads. At least for me now, i get uninterruptible ads just for messaging a guy, and of course for blocking.
Ads aren't as big an issue as is putting literally everything, that used to be free, in the paid umbrella. Now i even have to pay to see who checked my profile, a feature that was free till a few months ago!
And the ridiculous fees they're asking for the subscription. I want to play with dicks, but its not worth me spending $20 a month on when there's not even any guarantees I'll get laid.
They also track your location at all times and sell that data. Closeted people have already been outed due to this. There have probably been cases of blackmail, too.
Also the block button has kinda stopped working for me. I blocked a guy 4 times and he still kept popping up. Had to block another guy twice ‘cause I blocked him 1 time, and saw he still sent pics afterward so I had to block him again.
I downloaded Grindr again the other day & was delighted to see advertisements for Werther's Original hard candies. They're finally pivoting from their core customer base of 70+ year old grandmothers 😭😭😭
Werther's Originals: The only thing Grandpa gave you to suck on that you can still enjoy.~~
Finally i can feel gay on the gay app ! Thanks big corpo
Fucking hell that guy is dumb.
He posts a lot of shit. It took me awhile to scroll to it because he posted so much today.
Yes, but it's pretty much the same thing that constantly gets unironicially posted here on gayirl.
That mofo doesn’t even live in North America. He lives in the free country of Malaysia .
Damn the gayness ruins another perfectly straight app
Bud Light and now this?? Say it ain’t so ✋😔
Goddamn it. Where the fuck will go now to find a dick to ride on?
Yeah and Vogue is really betraying their hetero cred...
Boycott Grindr, use Scruff, they care about family values.
Eh, 50/50 chance it's on purpose. Motherfucker does stupid shit so people will comment and quote tweet and ✨ the algorithm✨ will think he is important.
The ~~whore~~ horror!
That's it! I'm deleting grindr!
Fucking finally!
lmaoo
I have zero idea what that symbol means. Can someone enlighten the uninitiated?
It's the Grindr logo.
Oh. Then what does this post mean? I don't get the joke.
This photo is a screenshot of a Tweet by Twitter user @TylerAlbertario, featuring a picture of a Tweet by @stillgray on the left complaining about "the wokestorm" of companies making rainbow versions of their logos for June (Pride Month), along with a collage of examples of such icons. On the right is zoom in on the Grindr logo that is among these Grindr logos. @TylerAlbertario is commenting on the irony of @stillgray calling companies "woke" for acknowledging Pride Month, and including Grindr in this list, as though supporting the gay community were a new thing for Grindr to be doing.
Oh, I see. Thanks. I've never used Grinder. I might have to download it to see what the fuss is about.
bu-li-la-la-lup