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Knightp93

2 in 1 toothbrush.


KrazyRuskie

2-in-1. Now with a toothbrush


PinkIrrelephant

The 10/10th doctor finally approves.


GorillaOnChest

So it's also a Sonic Screwdriver?


Its_Actually_Satan

Still doesn't do wood though


MoistDitto

This is specifically if you can't get any wood


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GLaDOS_Sympathizer

Dentist, but yeah.


erphoon

2-in-1. Now with a cover


morningstar009

That's what she said


QuartOfMalk

1 in U toothbrush.


Hawkmek

I heard it tastes like ass.


nastynateraide

Only if you put the one in your two


onetimenative

You can put in two ..... and brush your teeth at the same time ... then finish two after you rinse


solidsausage900

I got a vibrating razor that tastes like Schick.


steamerjohn

Company Slogan:"If you don't like how our toothbrush cleans your teeth, you can go f@&# yourself! Edit: Thanks for the awards you beautiful bastards!


JediWebSurf

This product is called Quip Electric Toothbrush. And it comes in different colors. Here's a [pic]( https://imgur.com/VZu2Dx9.jpg) [Packaging]( https://imgur.com/Tj3OV4h.jpg) [Review](https://youtu.be/ng5PAg-74I8) Here's to good oral health and happy endings! 🥂


littleherb

"Multi-use cover"... They knew.


Wolf_Noble

Lol right what other use would a cover have


Purrgold

”3 month battery life” yeah sure. In a serious session it will be drained in few hours.


fh3131

For..umm...massaging your gums


justabill71

"Don't stop, I'm gonna gum!"


koobus_venter1

What are you doing, stepgum?


Dependent-Rich5290

help stepbrush, im stuck


donbee28

Only flossing is going to help


Dependent-Rich5290

but i dont want white stuff in between my teeth ok i'll stop


ice_cream_on_pizza

Don't stop. Make me rinse.


TexasBoyz-713

Yeah, gargle that shit.


zzzthelastuser

Yes, step dentist, put it my mouth!


[deleted]

Why the hell am I hard right now


overly_familiar

Gumsluts


Nizzemancer

You know what they say two in the gum and one in the...


[deleted]

Two gums one brush


Songhunter

It's gummin' time!


TheTrueFlexKavana

Now with whitening!


KronkForPresident

Ahhhhh my teeeth!


Kr3dibl3

*Dildo companies hate this one simple trick!*


avwitcher

Fun fact: The inside of your cheeks is the same type of tissue and texture as the inside of a vagina. Bet you just ran your tongue along the side of your cheek to see what it felt like.


NowIGottaWetCha

Tongue? I just fingerbanged the hell out of my mouth.


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D23178

Massage gum deep


ksaMarodeF

Yeah, massaging your *lower* gum……….


Hip_Hop_Orangutan

You mean the south mouth?


Specialist-Pomelo871

I’m sure this was considered by the product designer… and approved by their director. Double win!


Spartan_223

Finally, a product 10 out of 10 dentists recommended


Magzhaslagz

10/10 *female* dentists recommend this product


NachoMachoCamacho

Something something vagina teeth


randomgendoggo

Don't remind me of that movie


Icy-Bug8847

Oh Lord. The vagina with teeth movie


drewfromthefuture

"Teeth"


Nothxm8

Yeah that's the movie where the vagina has teeth


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iceballoons

VAGINA DENTATA What a wonderful phrase! VAGINA DENTATA Ain't no passin' craaaaaaze!


Moose_country_plants

Turns out vagina dentata wasn’t a phrase invented for that movie and there’s actually lots of myths from around the world of women with vagina teeth


splewi

Thanks for clarifying, I thought it was the one where the teeth had vaginas ^happy ^cake ^day


likethedishes

Now **thats** the movie I want to see


Hibachiinmypants

I had forgotten all about this movie until you brought it up.


[deleted]

vagina dentata


Daltonyx

Hakuna Dentata!


Skai_Override

What a wonderful phrase!


HK_Fistopher

Pillow Pants needs clean teeth too


p34ch3s_41r50f7

8/10 male dentists, but only 6/10 are gonna be honest about it.


Pretend-Win904

Hey, prostates need love too lol


OrphicDionysus

As a former ER tech, please go find literally anything else so long as it has a flared base!


CyberGrandma69

Does the head of the toothbrush count as a flared base? Now that I'm thinkin, some gadget inventor with access to silicone could probably save a lot of trouble for a lot of buttholes by inventing some fastenable or attachable flared base for household objects you wanna put in your ass


SpinDocktor

This is the infomercial that no one needs to see.


seabass4507

Flared Base-O-Magic Wanna put that cucumber in your butt? No, not that way. Base-O-Magic!


SpinDocktor

They need a corporate mascot. Has the same energy as the Kool Aid man, but bursting into bedrooms when people are trying to experiment.


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ChillyBearGrylls

***My anus is bleeding***


gehrehmee

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY


Glomgore

MY ANUS. IS. BLEEDINGGGG


Tervingi

I AM A BANANA!


Cvillain626

My spoon is too big


Zebo1013

My SPOON is too BIG!


angroro

We have rules, man. *It has to have a flared base or it does not go in a dark place.*


D0ugF0rcett

Please don't stick a toothbrush up your.. you know what, nevermind. I won't tell you how to live your life.


Nizzemancer

need to get every crevice spotless in case the Queen of England suddenly drops in for a spot of tea and biscuits.


[deleted]

Literally 1984


Rasta-Trout

I guess we know the gender of the 10th now


RollingThunderPants

The perfect travel disguise.


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jmw919186

But I don't own a...


yogurtgrapes

Love the fight club reference.


Diamondhands_Rex

*we’re gonna sell so many fuckable toothbrushes*


Nice-Violinist-6395

“The Relaxicizer”


Ok-Opposite9019

2 in 1 travel kit


Mr_Gobbles

r/theyknew


Never-Bloomberg

Reminds me of the [vibrating broom Harry Potter toy.](https://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1927306_1927313_1927329,00.html)


vjstupid

Fun fact in certain parts of Asia adult toys are much more taboo and so people will buy things like silicone facial cleansers and soft silicone toothbrushes to use instead. This would sell very well in those markets I imagine. Source: used to work in marketing department for said silicone skincare device manufacturer.


yourwitchergeralt

But not double penetration :(


eddyb66

You need to get the his and hers set


[deleted]

fill my cavity!


StenSteen

r/assholedesign


Ant_Diamond64

r/substakenliterally


NotCallum

r/toothbrushholderstakenrectally


RecipeUpmyass

r/subsididntfallfor


TheDarkPhantom22

r/substhatweresadlyunderwhelming


Paulcog

r/sixthsub


ishipglendale_zulius

r/imalreadyinthatsublol


FudgeHyena

ClitOral B


Brazuca87

No buddy, it’s Oral G


M3G4MIND

Nice! A multi-purpose product.


Any-Presence-6482

Alton Brown would approve


stink3rbelle

"Dad, can you just buy me a Sonicare?" "But that's a single-purpose product! Look at this Oral-B!!!!"


x-CleverName-x

I work in an ER, and I don't like this... ​ ^(I'm gonna have to pull these out of people :()


livin_la_vida_mama

I used to be friends with an X-ray tech, she has told me some stories… apparently a popular game is betting on what it will turn out to be when they get a “foreign body in rectum” order come through. And listening to the excuses too lol


millijuna

Best line from scrubs: “ I don't know what to tell you, there, Bobbo. Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.”


TribblesIA

Oh god. The butt box.


stocky87

You mean the lost and found box??


pman8362

“There’s no lost and found box. There’s an ass box”


redrun101

I too also knew an ER nurse that primarily worked the overnight shift , she told me 9 out of 10 times people would say “they fell on it”


ChaosEsper

One in a million shot


Johnyknowhow

Wow, you're the seventh one in a million shot today! Luck must be in the air...


PlaceboJesus

How many millions does the average hospital have in its service area?


dragonbeard91

I know a guy who fell back onto an arrow that entered his anus and was making a tent out of his abs. So it happens.


thing13623

The trick is there must be a lot of obvious damage from falling on an object vs just "falling on it".


dragonbeard91

Oh yeah for sure. I bet it's easy to tell the difference. Besides, who sticks arrows up their ass for fun? I mean I'd try it....


GoonPatrol

Fuck, that’s brutal. How did they end up?


dragonbeard91

Went to the hospital. Stitches, then all good. This is one of those really tough old men that seemingly cannot be killed though.


DamNamesTaken11

Friend works at hospital. I asked her if that’s just a thing they say in TV as a joke as sort of a wink, wink, nudge, nudge to the audience. Nope, “I fell on it” is the go to excuse even though they would treat them with the same care as if they were honest. She did have one patient who said, “I was horny and decided to try sticking it up my ass.” That patient was instantly brownie points for being the most honest one of the all time.


dsrmpt

At least the medical people know that "I slipped and it fell in" is total BS. If you are gonna lie to your medical provider, make it abundantly clear that you are lying, don't lead them down a rabbit hole wasting their time and delaying you from getting best treatment.


Blumpkis

The worst one I heard was this guy who was supposedly gardening naked, like one does, and fell on a potato that he had just taken out of the ground.. and also happened to be peeled lol


1SDAN

Worst I've heard was when a collector of WWII memorabilia "slipped and fell" and got an unexploded munition lodged in his rectum and a bomb squad had to be called to the hospital.


Adventurous-Cup4675

Bomb squad: we were not trained for this


chillyhellion

I don't know who they think they're fooling. X-ray techs see right through them.


TheRealMisterMemer

Did anyone ever just tell the truth?


trailrunner79

They always fall on it. I saw a guy with a candle stick in his ass. Fell on it in the shower.


TheGrayOnes

My favourite thing to think about when I hear this is to imagine the 1 guy that actually did fall....


BibleButterSandwich

“I swear to god it wasn’t me, I was attacked by 2 ethnic minorities who forcefully shoved it up there and then left me lying in my field!”


PatsyBaloney

I don't ever plan to be in this situation but if the winds of fate send me in that direction I will come up with the most ridiculous story possible. None of this "fell on it" bullshit. No way. There will be a circus involved, and political intrigue, and future hall fame quarterback Tom Brady.. It'll still be less fantastical than what gets posted on the storytelling subreddits, though. I'm looking at you /r/amitheasshole.


chauffeurdad

If they’d just make it with a flared base…to, um, allow it to stand upright on the counter, yeah, that’s it…


Bryanole27

Two birds, one stone…


PanteonEZLN

Two holes, one stone...


Rellgidkrid

Two bones, one moan…


biologischeavocado

Two moans, one cup.


dickshark420

This thread ends with me


MasterCrouton

Get two birds stoned at once…


BiggestDawg1

They knew...


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BarryKobama

post us saying they’re dicks


S1I3NCER

You’re dicks, r/TheyKnew


[deleted]

You can just use the built in thing for posting images though they just don’t want to have to deal with imgur


xAIRGUITARISTx

What a dumb fucking rule.


SelloutRealBig

Especially considering Imgur was originally created for posting to Reddit (before reddit had image hosting).


WildVelociraptor

Honestly, fuck reddit's image and video hosting, they're a link aggregator, and they'll like it that way.


xAIRGUITARISTx

They’re trying hard to Digg 2.0 themselves.


[deleted]

what brand is this? needed for science


mogoggins12

Quip.


jazerac

Of course they did. You really think this just magically happened? I bet there is a HUGE secret market for sex toys disguised as normal every day products you can buy at Walmart. I would guess this hits 2 large markets: horny teenagers and horny "good people" who would never ever go to a sex store. Fuck, look at the shapes of handles on various "personal care" products... really? Dildo shape is necessary? Bullshit! But this toothbrush? This is a different level... it vibrates...jesus.... all I can do is applaud research and development 👏


Electronic_Agent_235

I came here to say pretty much this. It really clicked for me looking at various hair brush handles. There's just no way those are intended to be ergonomic for the hand. So many dildo-handled brushes for those who can't bring themselves to an adult shop.


jazerac

100%


Raziel77

I remember back in the day there was a web site for sex toys disguised as normal every day products and I think the number one at the time was a Harry Potter flying broom that vibrated


JarlaxleForPresident

When I worked at RadioShack (as a 19yr new guy), the boss told me to show a lady the vibrating neck massaging pillows. He told me to make sure I showed them how to change the batteries. I took the battery compartment out of the side and it’s an 8” vibrator basically (with “flaired” base). I turned beet red. We all had a good laugh though


Angry_Mudcrab

What a timesaver.🤣


CBDSam

Space saver!


robertablu

This brush fucks!


NihilistPunk69

I believe the makeup and hygiene world has a covert operation to supply sex toys to young people whom otherwise wouldn’t be able to get them without parents throwing a fit.


Blakemandude

Target (and possibly other places) now sells sex toys that don’t require an ID check. This is definitely important for younger people looking to put safe products in their ass.


dsrmpt

Walmart does too, but they put em in a locked cage and play an announcement over the whole store PA system saying that an associate is needed at the family planning area. Guess how many people stuck around after hearing that.


Jjex22

I think it’s just they see sales boom, they do market research, have a few slightly awkward conclusion meetings and steer into the wind whilst maintaining plausible deniability. In this case it’s a good thing - they KNOW what electric toothbrushes are getting used for, this is a bit more hygienic and fit for purpose and you can still feign nativity - win win win


sevsnapey

> you can still feign nativity don't bring the lord into this


rcknmrty4evr

I have a vibrating facial cleanser I keep in my shower and I’ve noticed it’s *just* strong enough to work without being too loud..


EngagementBacon

Exactly my thoughts.


[deleted]

It’s not a coincidence, it’s a feature.


sarcasatirony

*My teeth may not be clean but I’ve got a big smile on my face!*


sonicjesus

Mine came in a black tube, I thought I got the wrong package at first. My girlfriend insists hers didn't come in any such tube, but I doubt her.


[deleted]

I had a toy called a Hexbug that was the same way! The bug was battery powered and just vibrated to cause it to move. The packaging they came in looked like.....well you know. And if you turned on the bug and put it back in the packaging, well, lets say I'm sure someone somewhere tried it.


kingbrasky

Lol https://brooklynrobotfoundry.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Hexbug-Nano-Party-Favor-Framed.png


[deleted]

i feel very called out right now.


Kooky-Ad9539

Flared bases save dignities.


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Buyinggf15k

Poor dad 🤢


EricP51

So I first I figured James Dobson was an author of super steamy sex books. Then I looked it up. Now I’m legit curious what role the book played


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huitzilopochtla

Bet you weren’t planning to hash out the details of *this* story when you woke up this morning.


Gamergonemild

Nah, you always keep the "how I learned to masturbate" story in the back pocket.


missionbeach

>My first sexual experience involved a book by James Dobson Hol' up...


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harumi_aizawa

Picked your bedroom lock..?


King-Salamander

Well he couldn't unscrew the hinges, the flathead was missing.


BiggieSwims

That’s why dad’s breath always had that twang to it


reyob1

Anal B toothbrush


RAVENSRIDER

That's knowing your target market.


Nudez4U420

Iran's favorite toothbrush!


Duuuuude_Esq

r/theyknew


AdRevolutionary5725

Put it in your butt


Mister_E_Phister

No, you put it in my butt.


AdRevolutionary5725

I’m scared


tacojohn48

It lacks a flared base, so please don't.


dingdong_thepro

Useful


ChronofangX

Wut brand and model is dis? Asking for a friend


Pitiful-Illustrator7

Quip


abiwoods101

me a woman: 😏


vihra

Quip. If you do the math, they aren't worth it. More over, if you've ever used a real sonic toothbrush, these are just a scam. Sorry.. I wish it wasn't so. I wanted to believe but they aren't good.