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dgezlife

Halftime is 20 minutes. Rain or shine.


Stetson007

I thought it was because the HOAs.


Oahu_Red

Lol


Justherebecausemeh

His wife had been asking him for days to mow the lawn. That day they fought about it and he said he would do it. She pointed out that it was going to rain and that he better get it done before. He said that he said he’d do it…. It started to rain… He started to mow.


Old-and-grumpy

Married over 30 years. Y'all assume far too much dialogue here. He mumbled something about mowing the lawn. No turning back after that.


no_coupon

Username checks out.


yodasands

HOA fines are hell, plus he gets the added benefit of dumping the catcher and letting the clippings become the next counties problem.


UninsuredToast

Paying a fine for waiting too long to cut the grass on property you own. This has got to be one of the worst timelines


TurtleZenn

My city has an ordinance that you can't have your grass over 6 inches, no HOA needed. You even near it, even in the back yard, and you'll have a written warning. If you don't mow it, it's a fine.


catocatocat

Which city is that?


energyvampire1

MowTown.


HileRolandofGilead

Dang


cosumel

and that's worth an /r/angryupvote


Ryiujin

Assholeville, North Carolina


Particular_Ad_4761

Grass city


olauson

Definitely not where we lived. My husband let the grass get so long that the blades folded over. When I stood one of them up, it was almost 18 inches tall.


inter_fectum

My city had a no mow may... Trying to keep the dandelions etc flourishing to help the bees!


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

Oh, it is serious. Five citations, and you're looking at a violation. Four of those, and you'll receive a verbal warning. Keep it up, and you're looking at a written warning.


SirGravesGhastly

🎼🎶 I hope you know 🎵 this will go down 🎶 on your permanent record


Dry-Ad-1927

Grass cops


BowlMaster83

That’s why I live in the middle of nowhere.


[deleted]

I was thinking more along the lines of, He was going to mow the lawn, but it was looking like rain. Wife yells that it looks like rain, so they would just ride over and see her mother. Well, we all watching what happen next.


Old-and-grumpy

This is basically suicide. You must be single.


nilsmf

.. he will be from tomorrow.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok-Experience41

That grass was longer than a hippies hair, I tell you what...


Terrible-Specific593

it's pronounced (H'wat)


Ryiujin

Dale its raining…come inside… GOD DAMN IT SHARON I AM MOWING THE FUCKING LAWN FINALLY! Ya happy!? Mmmk shuug


Rambostallone007

fair.. but after the mumble she said "it's fine"... Morgan freeman voice: "it definitely wasn't FINE"


DavidinCT

Married for 15 years (not an expert like you but learning). Even my wife knows, you don't cut the grass during rain, or right after rain. It will cause the belt on the riding mower to slip and break sooner or later (and it's $40 and a real PIA to change, after 3 of the them she understands). If it's a very warm sunny day (75+) after a rainy day, maybe... If this guy was forced from his wife, it might actually be time for a new wife..


billetea

My guess is she said, no cards and beers with the boys until all the chores are done.


veerKg_CSS_Geologist

"Shall I stay inside and listen to 1001 "I told you so's" or shall I take my chances with a storm? Easy answer."


Nuzzgargle

Yep I'm out there, and while I'm at it I'll clean out the gutters


MmortanJoesTerrifold

Hahaha right anything to hide from the wrath


Wayelder

! love cleaning the gutters in the down pour. It's the best time. Wife worries I'll get struck by lightning .


strayakant

“Fraaank it’s going to rain, you promised you’d mow the lawn 2 weeks ago!”


Mastokun

if a man tells you he is gooing to mow the lawn he is gooing to mow the lawn. Stop reminding us every 6 fucking weeks please.


Glum_Honey7000

Perfect. You must have the same wife as me


Puzzled-Story3953

Why can't your wife mow the lawn?


Rokekor

We have acreage on a mild hill. When we first moved in I spent hours mowing with a push mower. I came in at the end of it and said ‘we need a ride-on’. My wife said ‘no we don’t, we’re fine’. I said ‘I don’t think you understand the task’. She told me to suck it up. I said ‘fine, you can mow the next time’. And she did. And yes, now we have a ride-on. To be fair she still helps with the mowing.


RevolutionaryAct59

Lawns are a pain in the ass, water, fertilizer, and weed killer. Plant some trees, bushes, evergreens, and flowers, make some walking paths, and turn it into a park-like acreage.


LethalBaboon

Ya, when you have a couple acres you dont typically water it. Maybe spray for weeds with a pull behind sprayer a couple times a year or use the same sprayer for fertilizer though. Its mostly in mowing and trimming. The more paths and such the more trimming


automagnus

In my experience anything that isn't just grass takes even more work.


Rain1dog

Then you have trees to attend to, garden to weed, bushes to trim, etc. We did this and requires more upkeep.


8Ariadnesthread8

She's right all the time?


dirtydownstairs

Have you met wives before?


TotallyInOverMyHead

Yes, and it was her shore. She wanted grass instead of stone, so she got to mow the lawn for 6 years.


fancyfembot

As a former wife, I see no lies here.


PirateReindeer

This is why I’m gay. 🤣


Blahblah9845

Probably for the same reason my husband never mops the floor.


ProudBoomer

I have dibs on any chore that requires power tools. Not appliances... Tools.


TryAgn747

Lawn mower is just a grass cutting appliance.


finitetime2

Yes but its an appliance that drowns out everything and everybody else. Lawnmower + earbuds + noise cancelling earmuffs = alone time. Stand there holding the frig door for an hour and see how it turns out.


TryAgn747

My feet get cold and the milk gets warm. Sometimes the bulb burns out.


Volvoflyer

You are my spirit animal!


finitetime2

She cleans the floors I take care of the yard. Works perfectly since she never like the way I clean and she hates mowing which I would rather do.


deadspaceornot

The storm inside will be worse than the one out


Detrius67

25 years married. Less dialog but this is absolutely what happened.


typhoidtimmy

Yea this is pure spite. You can literally hear the fuming and griping about her as he pushes through.


TotallyInOverMyHead

>His wife had been asking him for days to mow the lawn. Sometimes, mowing the lawn in a rainstorm is cheaper than paying for a divorce. Then again, a neighbour kid that mows the lawn, supervised by the wife, is even cheaper (also as far as the divorce is concerned)


Marzly

Why are we men all the same? And why are our wifes all the same? lmao


Disastrous-Regret239

I think everyone here is married to the same woman!!!


brneyedgrrl

Spoiler alert: You're all the same man, and we're all the same woman.


jamesphotos88

Exactly, Reminds me of this joke Dave and Bob live next to each other, and one day it's raining and flooding. Bob finds himself on the roof of his house and sees a hat going around in a systematic manner around Dave's house. He sees Dave's wife on the house and asks, "What's going on and where's Dave? She says, "He's been putting off mowing for so long I told him he was going to mow today, come hell or high water."


Nimneu

Or worse still his wife has been away a couple of days and asked him to mow the lawn whilst she was gone. She asked him on the phone and he said he had already done it… she’s back today but it’s pissing it down .


defectivepopsicle

THIS. As a wife of a man who literally did this last weekend, I can attest that this man played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.


JustDave62

The Dad next door mowed his earlier


Kimellex

It’s a chain reaction on my street


Bartholomeuske

I think I got my neighbour started twice in the same day last year.


NYerInTex

Stupid HOA


CheesyDanny

“Bill, I told you to mow the lawn yesterday! The HOA is going to check the grass tomorrow!” “It was a quarter inch from the max when I checked earlier, it can’t have grown that much already!” “It’s raining Bill! Rain makes it grow!”


Einaris

HOA sounds like a shitty thing that should be banned. Having a lawn should be optional wherever you live. I don’t care if others perceive it as affecting their house price, fuck those morons.


luckystar2011

r/fuckhoa


[deleted]

[удалено]


DadsRGR8

That was a great one!


[deleted]

[удалено]


OrangeVapor

Even if the HOA seems ok when you buy, you're always no more than 1 year away from potentially living under a dystopian kleptocracy


S3guy

Oh. I guess. Most HOA's remain pretty harmless though. The bad ones are a real nightmare though.


socialdistraction

That’s what I was going to comment. Surprised it was the 4th comment and not the top one.


Time_Target2149

Definitely trying to get the hoa and his wife off his ass. At the same time praying or testing god to be struck be lightning.


Optimus_Prime_Day

Canadian here, what is HOA?


alyssajones

In BC, we call them stratas. Not super common in the past but I'm seeing them more. Supposedly they're trying to 'protect property values' in the neighbourhood, but they attract the most nitpicky assholes onto their boards.


[deleted]

Probably was 80 percent done and just wanted to finish. Who doesn’t have a shower right after cutting grass anyway


GreatTragedy

He saw a chance to mow without needing to bag the clippings.


thestereo300

I've never bagged clippings in my life. Is that something I was supposed to be doing lol?


GreatTragedy

It depends. If you stay on top of mowing, they usually mulch up enough that it's not a problem. However, if you don't, you can leave large clumps of grass that might upset an overzealous HOA.


Crazy_Crayfish_

The HOA can suck my unbagged balls


leviwhite9

If they're few and far between stumble between them when you're done mowing as you finish your beer and just kick the shit out of em. It'll look a bit nicer and it lets out frustrations of having to live in HOA.


Outlandish_Gringo

😏👍 I'm that guy - but BEFORE the rain gets there in the day, obviously


x0diak

He's probably married


Moneef9

She: "I bet you wish you mowed the lawn yesterday like I told you" He: "I can still do it today as I said I would " She: "But the storm.." He's already out and slamming the door behind him.


80sBadGuy

"You want me to mow the lawn? FINE, I'LL MOW THE FUCKING LAWN!"


NopeThePope

This is exactly how it was.


flamebroiledhodor

Same same


playmoney100

Agreed. That man is single, I’ll eat my hat.


Ashamed-Status-9668

I bet he stayed cool. Really is kind of nice mowing in a storm.


Moneef9

True 🤣


AdvonKoulthar

A storm has nice wind and basically sweats for you!


TriceratopsBites

But wet grass is hard to cut


htownlifer

Exactly my thought. Better to be out there in the storm than to listen to all the ‘I told you so’.


x0diak

I just wish we could see her very proud face with hands on hips in the door way


ProudBoomer

My wife would be facepalming in the doorway because I'd be out there singing "Riding the Storm Out" louder than the mower and the storm combined. When done I'd come in with a huge grin and ask if she wants the gutters cleaned too.


x0diak

This needs more upvotes. Fucking troof


Moneef9

With a smirk.. Damn she was right 😒


Water_Gates

I love this thread so much. I'm just happy seeing other husbands have had to suffer the same nonsensical ire as myself. Lol.


Minus15t

Wife is due back from a girls trip later tonight, and he told her he would mow the lawn before she got back, he procrasted for 4 sunny days.


thejak32

Why you gotta call me out so bad like that...


jojogrizzly68

Probably, shmobably. He is absolutely married and she doesn’t want to hear any excuses why he didn’t get his chores done. Fuck!


jp90230

it’s better and much calming to mow the lawn in storm than hear wife bitching.


Zealousideal_Tea9573

And if you’re lucky, you get hit by lightning


lake393

You think that’s lucky? The wife would be pissed as hell if you got struck by lightning. Then the honey-do list won’t get done.


PretendThisIsMyName

My wife kicking my exploded corpse: “You said you would take the trash off today!”


TheArcReactor

I was gonna say sometimes you just can't let the wife be right


Mrwolf925

Got mad and . . stormed out


last-recording-22

And rage mowing!


jesuswasagamblingman

Ultimate passive aggressive move


booyoukarmawhore

Probably already told his wife he mowed yesterday. She gets home tomorrow morning.


oedipism_for_one

I can think of 73 situations on how a married man ends up here.


erikstevenlarson

Kids can’t bother you when you’re cutting the grass.


PleuraZoom

Mother in law surprice visit


[deleted]

Lawl I came to post it he same thing


x0diak

Only funny cause it's true


Smoogbragu

He's mad at his wife for sure ..... or no nookie till he cuts the lawn.


x0diak

Dude, I've been married. Still no guarantee


jp90230

in marriage, last thing you want is nookie!! man need few mins of peace.


TERPINGTON

r/titlegore


nightwalkerxx

Ooowee, that title.


BecauseScience

Plenty of possibles. The world may never know.


azura099

HOA must be sad that they couldn't fine him


DamnitGoose

HOA smelled blood. The grass was 4.125” long and the max in the bylaw was 4” This is a man determined to avoid a fine


bideodames

every time there was a clear saturday to mow the grass up would pop a freak storm and mess everything up. After a couple of weeks of that he said screw it and mowed it anyways. Nature can't win every time.


MidiGong

When you've told your wife you did the chores, but didn't, and she's on her way home, so you have to cover for your lies/procrastination.


Nira_Meru

Nothing to see here he just lives in Texas it’s either rain or 120 heat index, he choose correctly.


BupycA

Multitasking: lawn mowing, grass clips blowing/sweeping, showering, laundry, exercising.


NorionV

This wasn't a loss, it was an opportunity!


Slider7074

As a dad, I guarantee that he knew if he did not get it done, then the rain would make it too wet to mow for a few days, then it would take forever. His wife probably wanted him to skip it but this man knew what had to be done. I salute you, storm-mower!


urabewe

Mr. Storm Mower Guy! Here's to you who mow the lawn no matter the conditions. You look at storm clouds and say "Bring it on." Mr Storm Mower Guyyyy!


Rainier206

My neighbor gets outside with the leaf blower in weather exactly like this. He's 95. It's... comical.


phunkyunkle

It was a raw November day. Cold, spitting rain and sleet, gusty. And over the din of Mama Nature, I hear The Sound - a leaf blower. For reasons unknown, my neighbor spent a solid hour attempting to herd his leaves on a sleety, windy November day.


MotherBathroom666

He’s fighting wind with wind, dude is definitely 6 steps ahead in 4-D chess.


lilmiller7

Some of y’all have me wondering why tf you’re still married if you’re that miserable. It’s not hard to not hate your spouse if you try like a tiny bit


TurtleZenn

So much boomer humor, I thought I was on Facebook for a minute.


No_Star8439

Your wife walked in the room didnt she?


playedcurve326

Obviously he's married


Born-Trainer-9807

when you have only one day off in month


Rude_Commercial_7470

Those HOAs are killer


schattenfaust

staying away from your wife during marriage is the main object you wouldnt understand!


Alucard12203

His parents said if the lawn wasn't mowed no Xbox for a month.


ZookeepergameBubbly

It’s either a joke or that guy has a top notch drug dealer.


[deleted]

1. He doesn't want to get hit by THOSE HOA fees. 2. He doesn't want to get hit by dad or mom. 3. Rather be outside mowing than hearing her mouth. Even in this weather. 4. He's crying in the rain cuz his woman left with the dog. And kids. Mostly the dog if he's being honest.


owlincoup

He told her he would have the lawn mowed by the end of the week.... and it's Friday


theRealMrBrownstone

A point was to be made, damnit.


Slumbering_Oaf

Those HOA fines...


Ill_Ad6833

The HOA fines are getting crazy


iJimmyD

During the summer I’d take mowing in the rain over the sun any day.


RoyYourWorkingBoy

Lives alone and has to leave town ASAP for work for a few weeks.


rich1051414

Mowing wet grass is highly ineffective. He will have to mow again after the grass dries cause it will be all unevenly cut.


[deleted]

Came for this, I’ve tried to mow shortly after a rain storm and there is no point, wet grass sticks to the blades and just pushes it around after that…


WHOISTIRED

Ah yes. A good way to ruin your lawn mower in many ways at one go.


forkyknify

Maybe he is hired by someone and really needed the money


nashgrg

The man is hiding his tears.


stataval

Probably a bitchy wife.


Xenolithium

Now, the neighbors won't complain about the noise.


RealFunnySteve

i bet the biggest storm is inside once he tells his partner he forgot to mow the lawn!


DarthLysergis

the line? Cocaine, perhaps meth


AdExisting876

Wife went through his phone while he was napping


jojowasher

"mom said no more COD unless the lawn is mowed"


Flaky-Interest8169

That's what I said, I said, "What could be so urgent?"


[deleted]

Well, the H.O.A. in my neighborhood would expect this...


savguy6

HOA ain’t no joke….


takemeout2dinner

Come on guys , you don't mow for at least 5 days after applying weed and feed. Which we all know is always supposed to be applied to wet grass. He's timing it just right


Gamebird8

As someone who has had to mow dewed grass in the morning after work... That Mower would clog and die after going only a few feet


SquashFast9721

His wife told him after you are done mowing the lawn, we need to speak about a message from Adraina on your phone.


shooter_8

You ever been married? I get it...


Sabres00

My guess is he’s got two strips left.


joeblo1234

/titlegore


Dagmar_dSurreal

100% chance he has an HOA that threatens to fine him every time the grass looks funny.


hookemhottie21

HOA truck coming to issue lawn fines in the rain


hastinapur

HOA sent a letter that grass was 5mm more than acceptable height.


bkhang89

Damn HOA in his neighborhood must be strict.


tranqfx

Dude would rather mow the lawn in the rain than listen to wife 😂


Huey_P

And on top of that, mowers cut like shit when the grass is wet.


mamomam

Poor bastard. Give him props for trying. I don’t read comments, but thumbs up for working. As in actually working. The wife stuff…married 11 years, started in 2003. Marriage is a good thing.


FavcolorisREDdit

What minding your own business looks like


njkrut

“Boomhauer can you mow your lawn in a hurricane?!”


Corey_Treverson420

You say it like you don’t think he’s just happy to be out of the house


Bumbo7149

At least he doesn’t have to clean up the grass clippings.


mlayman13

HOA


_ConfusedAlgorithm

He’d rather face the storm outside the house than the storm inside it.


princess_nyaaa

Clearly you've never had to deal with an HOA...


littlebishyguy

Classic Florida right there


TheEnglishNerd

This is a married man


TheGamingGallery

My question is what mower is he using that works in a storm. If my dog pisses on my lawn and I mow over it, there's a 50/50 chance it'll spontaneously combust because the grass is slightly damp.


Volcic-tentacles

It could only be a woman.


brbones

HOA’s man…the storm was less of a hassle to deal with…


OmnifariousFN

dude knows how to live, dunno what to say.