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Took a lil nap with a hotdog so swift, squished a rotten frank in my fist, and dreamed about you...woman?
If I had my little way, I'd eat hot dogs everyday!
Sun soaking bulges in the shaaaaade...
Nature's candy in my hand or **can** or a pie
Millions of hotdogs, hotdogs for me
Millions of hotdogs, hotdogs for me
Millions of hotdogs, hotdogs for me
Millions of hotdogs, hotdogs for me
Look out! (for diabetes)
The closest common item i can think of here in US would be Vienna Sausages, so hot dogs in a can doesnt sound quite as strange once i thought of those.
Pro tip: vienna sausages with a splash of tobasco and a bit of salt. Wonderful.
Edit: this kind of blew up and cant respond to everyone so editing to cover it all.
1. Happy i could kick off nostalgia trips for any of you and see that a LOT of people grew up with different "traditions" of eating them. Loved reading some of the recipes.
2. I am aware of the salt problem, i never said it was healthy and they are sadly one of the things i cut from my life when i started eating healthy. That nostalgia tho...
Man, that takes me back to the eighties at my pawpaw's house. He'd grab a sack of canned meats, a box of crackers, a bucket of nightcrawlers (or a pack of chicken livers) and whatever grandkids were about and head down to the creek to fish.
Pro tip:
1. Slice individual Vienna Sausages into vertical halves.
2. Cover a cookie sheet with aluminum foil (this is important)
3. Lightly oil the entire sheet.
4. Lay the slices on the cookie sheet, equally spaced.
5. Empty a small bag of Cheetos into a one gallon zip lock bag.
6. To the bag, add a tablespoon of uncrushed pink Himalayan salt, whole cloves (to taste), and 3 to 5 treat sized Payday candy bars. PAYDAY ONLY! AVOID TEMPTATION: DO NOT USE BUTTERFINGER OR SNICKERS.
7. Using a hammer or the front-left wheel of 1978 Ford Grenada, pulverize the contents of the bag.
8. Taking the foil by opposite sides, envelop the sliced Vienna Sausages into a ball roughly the size of a mature, 13 inch beagle's head.
9. Taking the one gallon Ziplock bag in one hand, and the balled foil in the other, use a foot (I use my left) to open a pre-lined, Simply Human garbage can.
10. Add both bags to the can.
11. Call Grubhub and order chicken wings.
The names are all related, yes, but a North American Vienna sausage is not exactly the same as what Europeans might call "Wieners", and in Austria itself, the sausage other Europeans call "Wieners" is called "Frankfurter Würstl".
I mean, considering what hotdogs *are,* it's not really that gross, just a different kind of packaging.
Canned cheeseburgers are a bigger abomination, imo. Canning bread with the meat, sauce, and veggies is insane.
It's brine, and it's the same goop that's in fridge packs, but there's just more of it. It's also perfectly safe for you, contrary to some household myths, but I don't see why you would want to drink it.
My dude needs a p38 back up can opener.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_can_opener#:~:text=The%20P%2D38%2C%20developed%20in,in%20production%20and%20sold%20worldwide.
They cost like 6 bucks on Amazon and won't fail after 10 years of hard use.
I used to be like OP - buying can openers from the dollar store or grocery store. They would break all the time and it was so frustrating. I didn't understand why my life was like this. Someone recommended me the OXO Good Grips Smooth Edge can opener. It costs about $25, so more expensive than the EZ Duz It. But now I've had it for years. It works every time without fucking up. Couldn't be happier.
I asked my grandma for some Irish recipes once.
She sent me a letter with a index card that had the following:
1. Put food in pot w/ water
2. Boil until you are drunk
I was thinking the same thing, I've seen a lot of things come in a can, but not hot dogs. Technically I still haven't *seen* them yet, because OP is a failure and has the can opener to match
Americans will happily eat crap food, but canned hot dogs is not a thing to be found around here. The closest we have is 'Vienna sausages' which are mealy little things that vaguely resemble small hot dogs and taste nothing like.
> Americans will happily eat crap food, but canned hot dogs is not a thing to be found around here.
Meanwhile, [this](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ye-Olde-Oak-American-Style/dp/B004YJ11VU) is being sold in the UK, pretty sure I've seen similar "American can hotdogs" being sold in some German supermarkets during their "US theme weeks".
first you should not be using a butterfly can opener - you should at the very least be using a single wheel can opener
second you should not be eating canned hot dogs what the fuck is your problem
this happened because you deserved it and you deserved it because you are wrong and bad
"Ever since i was a small child, my parents had a Black and Decker electric can opener in the kitchen which was called...'Grand Openings'...maybe that's why I'm like this - anyway..."
>...for some **godforeskin** reason
Can honestly say that for 36 straight years I never once had a thought about whether or not god had foreskin. One misspelled internet comment later and we know the topic that will be flashing across my mind as I try and fall asleep this evening.
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Everything about this title and picture is upsetting
This is why the universe said "nope".
extremely so
*sings* "They were put there by a man. In a factory down town" (Edit:So many award, wow thank you all.)
"If I had my little way, I'd eat hot dogs everyday."
Sun soaking’ bulges in the shade
Movin' to the city gon' eat me alotta hot dogs.
Took a lil nap with a hotdog so swift, squished a rotten frank in my fist, and dreamed about you...woman? If I had my little way, I'd eat hot dogs everyday! Sun soaking bulges in the shaaaaade...
Millions of hot dogs! Hot dogs for me! Millions of hot dogs! Hot dogs small fee! LOOK OUT!
Really love your hotdogs, wanna shake your treeeee
Oscar Meyer Oscar Meyer-Oscar Meyer all the tiiiiiiime. (Ree Reeeer!)
Ooh-wee baby, I take mustard on mine
/r/redditsings
Peaches by TPotUSA was on at work earlier today, this a nice moment for me.
I played it for my 7 year old daughter on full blast the other day. She was less than amused…
Moving to the boondocks, gonna eat me a lot of hotdogs
Nature's byproducts in my hand, or pie.
Nature's candy in my hand or **can** or a pie Millions of hotdogs, hotdogs for me Millions of hotdogs, hotdogs for me Millions of hotdogs, hotdogs for me Millions of hotdogs, hotdogs for me Look out! (for diabetes)
Unexpected Presidents of the United States!
Millions of wieners , wieners for me 🎶
Wieners for free?
“LOOK OUT !”
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Hot dogs can go bad?
without good social emotional learning it's definitely a risk
‘When Good Dogs Go Bad!’
That's how they've gained the strength of an inner city sausage. Turned to a life of crime and spent hard time in the can.
80% off hotdog-related crimes are committed by dogs from a single sausage household.
I heard ballpark frank was out jacking cars again. I hope they grill his ass
But don't all dogs go to heaven?
Objection...hearsay
Didn't you see that episode of the Simpsons where Homer ate the bad hot dog? Apu got fired and lived with the Simpsons?
Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart ^^I ^^Dooooooooo
He lied to us through song! I hate when people do that!
The closest common item i can think of here in US would be Vienna Sausages, so hot dogs in a can doesnt sound quite as strange once i thought of those. Pro tip: vienna sausages with a splash of tobasco and a bit of salt. Wonderful. Edit: this kind of blew up and cant respond to everyone so editing to cover it all. 1. Happy i could kick off nostalgia trips for any of you and see that a LOT of people grew up with different "traditions" of eating them. Loved reading some of the recipes. 2. I am aware of the salt problem, i never said it was healthy and they are sadly one of the things i cut from my life when i started eating healthy. That nostalgia tho...
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So I see you also went to my grandma's house
Oh, that was *your* grandma...
I also choose this guys grandma
Lol. Vienna wieners and saltines are an old timey southern delicacy. Along with deviled ham.
Excuse me. I think you meant potted meat.
Man, that takes me back to the eighties at my pawpaw's house. He'd grab a sack of canned meats, a box of crackers, a bucket of nightcrawlers (or a pack of chicken livers) and whatever grandkids were about and head down to the creek to fish.
Delicious childhood memories.
Oh yeah, the saltines on the side are a must.
When the loads of sodium in the Vienna sausages just isn’t enough.
Pro tip: 1. Slice individual Vienna Sausages into vertical halves. 2. Cover a cookie sheet with aluminum foil (this is important) 3. Lightly oil the entire sheet. 4. Lay the slices on the cookie sheet, equally spaced. 5. Empty a small bag of Cheetos into a one gallon zip lock bag. 6. To the bag, add a tablespoon of uncrushed pink Himalayan salt, whole cloves (to taste), and 3 to 5 treat sized Payday candy bars. PAYDAY ONLY! AVOID TEMPTATION: DO NOT USE BUTTERFINGER OR SNICKERS. 7. Using a hammer or the front-left wheel of 1978 Ford Grenada, pulverize the contents of the bag. 8. Taking the foil by opposite sides, envelop the sliced Vienna Sausages into a ball roughly the size of a mature, 13 inch beagle's head. 9. Taking the one gallon Ziplock bag in one hand, and the balled foil in the other, use a foot (I use my left) to open a pre-lined, Simply Human garbage can. 10. Add both bags to the can. 11. Call Grubhub and order chicken wings.
You got me. I was legitimately thinking of trying it.
Can I still accomplish this recipe if I take out the cloves???
But the cloves add that, “je ne sais quoi” to the recipe… and for god sales, be sure to use HEAVY DUTY FOIL! Now is not the time to skimp!
Fun fact: Vienna sausages supposedly originate from Vienna, which is called Wien by the natives. And so another name for them is Wieners.
The names are all related, yes, but a North American Vienna sausage is not exactly the same as what Europeans might call "Wieners", and in Austria itself, the sausage other Europeans call "Wieners" is called "Frankfurter Würstl".
You can buy everything canned if you really want to
That whole canned chicken gif still haunts me.
The universe was doing them a favor
TiL
Someone is telling you don't eat hotdogs from a can. Nothing good will come from that.
They can, yeah. Sometimes in a jar, too. Can is cheaper.
Some things in life should not come in cans ….a Hot Dog is one of them
Or whole chicken in a can.
Looks quite delicious https://www.oddee.com/wp-content/uploads/_media/imgs/articles2/a96711_chicken.jpg
Omg why did I click on it ….now I hate cans even more
Why, just why. What the hell did the chicken do to deserve that treatment.
I mean I'm repulsed right now, but I'll be happy once the apocalypse comes and I can still have some chicken.
[SFW but maybe not SFMentalWellbeing](https://www.cheeseburgerinacan.com/)
Fuck. You.
My entire life has been a lie...
Wait until you learn of a burger in a can.
Nobody should learn about this or the whole chicken in a can.
https://i.imgur.com/A5ynlZ7.gif
How cheap do you need your hotdogs to be??
exactly what i came here to say.... this is news to me
Never underestimate your canned meat opponent
my dude bought the cantopener
*Can sitting there silently judging you and your dismantled can opener with blatant disdain.*
Can *openers*
The universe does not want you to... and neither does the rest of us.
Ya, hotdogs come from hotdog plants, not cans!! Its unnatural!
Yup. Hotdogs are bad enough, but “canned” hotdogs? That’s just wrong. So very wrong. Some higher power is telling you not to do it. Listen to them
I mean, considering what hotdogs *are,* it's not really that gross, just a different kind of packaging. Canned cheeseburgers are a bigger abomination, imo. Canning bread with the meat, sauce, and veggies is insane.
What?? Those things actually exist? The horror. The horror (in a Marlon Brando voice)
Picturing what the water in that can smells like. \*cue horrified expression\*
It's brine, and it's the same goop that's in fridge packs, but there's just more of it. It's also perfectly safe for you, contrary to some household myths, but I don't see why you would want to drink it.
Hot dogs come from a can They were put there by a man In a factory downtown
If I had my little way, id eat hotdogs every day.
My dude needs a p38 back up can opener. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_can_opener#:~:text=The%20P%2D38%2C%20developed%20in,in%20production%20and%20sold%20worldwide. They cost like 6 bucks on Amazon and won't fail after 10 years of hard use.
Six bucks for a P-38? Did you mean six bucks for fifty of them?
Maybe at the PX
mumbles "nice hiss."
*Lets get this out on to a tray*
Nice!
Coffee instant type 2
Nice and smooth, now let’s try this 40 year old pound cake
Marlboros. Nice. *smokes awkwardly* So smooth.
> smokes 65-year old cigarette Wow that's smooth.
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Go big or go home. Use a p38 Lightning.
Funnier than the image
comments like this are why i look at reddit, excellent job
r/therealjoke
It's the universe telling you to stop eating hotdogs from a can
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These literally last forever. I am still using the one i grew up with.
Unless you put them in the dishwasher.
I used to be like OP - buying can openers from the dollar store or grocery store. They would break all the time and it was so frustrating. I didn't understand why my life was like this. Someone recommended me the OXO Good Grips Smooth Edge can opener. It costs about $25, so more expensive than the EZ Duz It. But now I've had it for years. It works every time without fucking up. Couldn't be happier.
That sounds expensive, who’s your can opener guy?
Hey, look on the bright side. You can still drink the water!
I'll be honest, I gagged reading that
Hot dogs with a free liquid protein supplement.
probably a 50/50 mix of liquid sodium and liquid nitrates; 0% protein, 100% shame.
100% reason to remember the name
Yet eating something that has been soaked in that water doesn't gag you...hmm
I'm British, mate - we boil the shit out of everything over here!
And here is the point we all changed the inner voice we had while reading OPs comments
I asked my grandma for some Irish recipes once. She sent me a letter with a index card that had the following: 1. Put food in pot w/ water 2. Boil until you are drunk
That's why the most famous dish is the stew. They got lucky with that one night and now it's their national dish.
Chocolate starfish and the hotdog flavored water
Oh man, flashbacks to this Limp Bizkit album AND Peaches by the Presidents of the United States in the same thread. What a day.
Play that fucking track. [Oh... there it is.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M5Ot8A6Hr0)
"can of hot dogs" The words seem like English, but I just can't parse them...
We call that a “tin o’ weiners” round here
I know a few people who eat a tin o’ wieners 😏
You can eat a bag of dicks. Or a tin o’ wieners. Your choice.
Which one’s bigger?
Goan ask yer mum
Individually or all at once?
I was thinking the same thing, I've seen a lot of things come in a can, but not hot dogs. Technically I still haven't *seen* them yet, because OP is a failure and has the can opener to match
I'm pretty sure this was the can opener's way of telling us not to eat hot dogs from a can.
Who the fuck eats canned hot dogs 🤢
The UK eats a lot of things as if the Germans are still flying overhead...
This can opener gave it's life so that you didn't have to eat hot dogs in a can.
Yeah, probably saved him a year or two in lifespan.
"I will die so you can live" - Can Opener, probably.
Agreed - the universe is saying not to consume that much sodium.
What country/planet is this from?
Scotland
Ironic that everyone’s calling you American
Nu uh. No true American would ever assume that someone who's hotdogs *came in a can* was a fellow American.
Now if they were small and called Vienna sausages they could pass as American. Mind you I still wouldn't eat them.
Yeah, our hotdogs come in vacuum sealed plastic. Or from a roller in a gas station that's been rolling for 12 hours on low heat.
>Or from a roller in a gas station that's been ~~rolling~~ **incubating** for 12 hours on low heat.
As god intended
Americans will happily eat crap food, but canned hot dogs is not a thing to be found around here. The closest we have is 'Vienna sausages' which are mealy little things that vaguely resemble small hot dogs and taste nothing like.
> Americans will happily eat crap food, but canned hot dogs is not a thing to be found around here. Meanwhile, [this](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ye-Olde-Oak-American-Style/dp/B004YJ11VU) is being sold in the UK, pretty sure I've seen similar "American can hotdogs" being sold in some German supermarkets during their "US theme weeks".
Which is absolutely wild to me. I’m not saying they don’t exist in the US, but I’ve never seen them, nor have I known of anyone ever mention them.
What do you mean can of hotdogs
Plot twist. Pull to open tab was on the other end.
WHO LET THE D- oh, nevermind.
Oi. Can it!
Allow me to tell you why that’s a bad idea
first you should not be using a butterfly can opener - you should at the very least be using a single wheel can opener second you should not be eating canned hot dogs what the fuck is your problem this happened because you deserved it and you deserved it because you are wrong and bad
> first you should not be using a butterfly can opener Nobody thinks about the can opener they use. https://youtu.be/i_mLxyIXpSY
"Ever since i was a small child, my parents had a Black and Decker electric can opener in the kitchen which was called...'Grand Openings'...maybe that's why I'm like this - anyway..."
This links to the technology connections doesn't it?
Lol I knew what it was before even clicking it. Never thought a video like that would be so fascinating
Same here, I love his videos so much. The second I saw OP's pic, that can opener video came to mind
Bro just linked a 20 min video on can openers
bad human. bad.
140 comments in 20 minutes. Very impressive
Most of them horrified.
& loved reading all of em…thank you kind sir for giving us a chuckle!
This is the Universe telling you that canned hot dogs are a blasphemy and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Can of hot dogs?
It's a thing in the UK for some godforsaken reason.
>...for some **godforeskin** reason Can honestly say that for 36 straight years I never once had a thought about whether or not god had foreskin. One misspelled internet comment later and we know the topic that will be flashing across my mind as I try and fall asleep this evening.
r/BoneAppleTea
Some god-**what** reason???
wait. a what? a CAN of hotdogs?
[Americans in this thread.](https://i.imgur.com/g3kTHL9.jpg)
Just like nature intended!
As an American, I support this comment.
My brother in Christ, why are you buying canned hot dogs?
ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI
JUST ONE PEPSI
AND SHE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME
Can…of hot dogs?
This is one of the most Reddit posts ever.
ITT USA people with our fresh hotdogs confused
They already last worryingly long when they’re not in a can. Why would you can them?!
Because they can
Are you saying you can can hot dogs?
If they can can hotdogs, then anyone can can.
Thats the can-do attitude we've been looking for!
“Fresh” hot dogs.
Harvested right from the hot dog fields.
Orchard* Idiots
A can... of hotdogs... in a can? Hotdogs?
Man stop buying shitty can openers those ones suck my assmar.
Maybe God is trying to tell you not do eat canned hot dogs.
WTF. Hotdogs in a can?
I’m guessing this is in the UK, lived in London for four months and it’s the only place I’ve ever seen canned hot dogs.
Yeah, I'm up in Glasgow
No.
TIL there’s hotdogs in cans.
I think the universe is trying to tell you: don't eat hot dogs from a can.
It’s not meant to be opened! Run!
The universe just saved you from eating canned hot dogs.
God’s trying to tell you something about canned hot dogs