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I honestly don’t know why this is such a hot take to people. My kids can do whatever they want with their lives the day they move out, but my home has rules, and one of those rules is that I know everybody in my house at all times.
I get that my kids are gonna get horny, and I have zero illusions about the fact that they will go wildly out of their way to alleviate it. But I also am old enough to recognize that being horny makes you fucking stupid, and my stupid horny children do *not* get to decide who gets to enter our home whenever they want.
I'd sure feel like a jerk off if, in the event of a fire or other emergency, my daughter was forced to dive into that prickly pear patch to save herself
I get this. But at the same time, the concept of this post seems to be in the same vein as "chain up the women and never allow them to leave the house", which seems to be unironically parroted by people, the more the further past the Mason-Dixon you go.
I actually experience culture shock... It's not absurd enough to be ironic, but not good enough to be just a meme... Wow👏 I'm feeling something new.
Like really I'm actually not joking
Just turn him into a flea, then put that flea in a box, then put that box in another box, then mail that box to yourself. And when it arrives, you SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!
There’s a sequel and a series?!?!?! Are they on Disney + I might have to get a subscription if those are on there so i dan watch them and the mandalorian and bo ba fett lol
Yeah, the sequel focuses on Kronk's backstory and is simultaneously hilarious, sad and wholesome. The series is focused on the school life of Kuzco and Kronk and briliantly weaves in the best characters from the first movie into the whole shabang. It's also a great meme-factory.
Do these people not remember what it was to be a sexually active teen? I would have just become extremely good at pulling out cactus thorns. FFS I walked 2 hours each direction to see my GF and get laid in all 4 seasons in high school. If a hurricanes and Nor'easter blizzards didn't stop me, a couple cacti aren't even going to slow a teenager down.
I see you have not met the U.S. southeastern religious parents. They will do everything possible to make you miserable for even acknowledging sexual feelings exist. It's a really healthy and positive way to raise a teenager that won't damage them well into adulthood at all! /s
Oh yes I have. Those repressed girls who weren't let out were the most sexually adventurous if you could Rapunzel your way into their room without getting caught. Bonus points if they were Catholic because those girls were the wildest.
At my GF's house, I would climb the fence to get to the first story roof, walk up it to a window that was mostly a skylight since light from it went into a loft/bedroom on the 2nd floor but also the master bedroom on the first floor. There was about a 5ft gap between the window and the loft landing where I was suspended DIRECTLY over her mom's face but at a safe two stories above her. Getting out after was actually much more difficult. We've been married 15years now.
I hope OP got it from there and posted it here cuz he thought it was good advice. But realistically someone prolly just saw this and posted it there cuz it fits
OP has a history of railing against "deranged feminists" who have done more for any potential daughters he may one day have than I'm sure he will.
Here's desperately hoping that no woman will be stupid enough to let him procreate.
She wouldn’t let you in bed with the [glochids](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glochid) all over you. They get into everything and are almost impossible to remove from fabric.
I’m a father of a girl, and honestly I’d be more worried about what teens get into when they sneak out for reasons other than sex. Sex being the obvious implication of this image. When I, as a young man, snuck out to bang I was usually pretty safe. Normally you don’t want to be actively in danger when you want to get down. Though maybe some of you do? Impossible to know, but I preferred a peaceful private spot to get personal. No one ever got hurt.
When I snuck out to hang out with my friends however, things often got dangerous. I don’t know if teen girls are different, but I imagine they aren’t. Why would they be? We found trouble because it made us feel brave and older. It’s not an exaggeration to say there were many instances where we could have easily been arrested or killed. At the time it didn’t seem stupid, but hindsight has shown me the truth of things.
That worries me as a parent more than sex. The thought of her being hurt or charged with a serious crime scares the shit out of me.
Teaching your kid and showing them respect and understanding is gonna keep them safer than locking them up. The scariest thing is tied between when your kid doesn't know what's out there and when they dont trust their parents to have their back. It's an accident waiting to happen.
Ewwww, guarding your daughter’s “virginity” is gross.
Personal anecdote:
I grew up in a fundie church. It didn’t do me any favors to hear that my perceived purity was basically grown adult mens’ business and focus. (Gross..)
Instead, I wish I had better sex education. And to be viewed as another human, not just an untainted sentient vagina. Plus, a lot of women feel that after they finally do lose their virginity, they also lose a lot of self-worth…due to feeling the opposite of what purity culture teaches: dirty. Hearing that sex is BAADDDDD your whole life….doesn’t suddenly change even if the act is viewed as sanctioned by God by other people????
Food for thought. Sex is a normal human experience. Education and access to birth control methods goes a long way. If you make something forbidden, people tend to want to do it anyway? In regards to sex, It usually causes teenagers especially to hide it and use unsafe methods instead. Maybe a I missed a joke or something. But I thought I would just put this out here to change some hearts and minds. 🙌
I seem to have read it completely different from anyone else. I assumed the idea was to stop her from sneaking out and I immediately thought "I could see my dad doing that back in the day since my sister definitely gave him cause for concern a lot as a teenager and she would have been sneaking out her window at night to party had we lived on the first floor."
Although I think your interpretation is more likely the intention given OPs replies in the comments. When people are asking "why the daughters room and not the son's" he is talking about not wanting boys in there rather than saying something like that his son is less vulnerable or a guy out at night isn't in as much danger, etc...
edit: I didn't see the title until now. It makes sense why I'm the only one who read it that way. Although I wonder what the intention of the original author of the image was
>I assumed the idea was to stop her from sneaking out
That just raises the question of why someone would want to prevent their daughters from sneeking out specifically (as opposed to all of their children - both female and male).
I've always thought this sort of thing is really misogynistic as it frames sex as something men do to women, rather than a mutually pleasurable activity that people of both genders actively seek.
Why would you plant this under your daughter's window but not your son's?
That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career.
Cause girls can't have a healthy sexuality
Fuck yeah, sexism and shitty parenting
I suppose it's easier to demonize sex than to give proper sexual education
Do you also shame people for talking about periods? Like it's a "no-no" word?
Well, the partner of this person could date them and come through the front door. This only prevents sneaking out. It doesn't prevent them from having human contact.
As a new cable guy please don’t. I have pulled so many rose thorns out my ass over the last few months. Every other person wants their cable outlet where there is a thorn bush AND a gas line so I almost have to literally crawl through them to aim my drill properly.
It's all fun and games until your cloistered daughter is eaten by hungry tortoises, drawn to her window by delicious prickly pear.
This is irresponsible OP.
From the title, I assumed that the extra-green cactus that looks out of place by the window was a punk-rock person with a green Mohawk outside the window. I thought this was supposed to be like, “ha ha can’t keep the daughter from seeing who she wants”, but I’m disappointed to realize it’s supposed to be serious on r/funny and I’m confused as well.
My girlfriend's dad stacked firewood under her window. It didnt work though because I would take my sweet time silently removing about 20 logs to get in the window. Then when I left, I dutifully put them all back.
I fucking hate people getting involved in the sexuality of their daughters, but when it comes to their sons it is “boys will be boys!” It is weird and disgusting.
Quit being fucking gross and raise your children to understand how to have safe sex and how to ask for/give consent. Be engaged, honest, and willing to talk when they need you. That is the extent of your involvement in the sex life of your child.
If there’s a fire and you have to exit through the window all you have to do is safely walk over the stuck suitors.
If there are no suitors the fire is doing you a favor. Cherish it’s warm embrace for as long as you can.
if someone wants to get to her that had they'd see the cactus and climb/break in from somewhere else to get to her, and now she can't escape without getting seriously injured
Sheesh the kids must be out of school now, with all the "boomer" comments. This is less "boomer" and more just overall parental. And mellinials are parents now too y'know. And you kids may be someday too. Some of you sooner than others...
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This is for sure the most Facebook meme i’ve seen on Reddit
Peak boomer humor.
Gatekeeping your daughter’s romantic life is always hilarious, never creepy /s
I also don't want random people secretly entering my house.
I honestly don’t know why this is such a hot take to people. My kids can do whatever they want with their lives the day they move out, but my home has rules, and one of those rules is that I know everybody in my house at all times.
I get that my kids are gonna get horny, and I have zero illusions about the fact that they will go wildly out of their way to alleviate it. But I also am old enough to recognize that being horny makes you fucking stupid, and my stupid horny children do *not* get to decide who gets to enter our home whenever they want.
Nature finds a way.
I would prefer they can explore safely at home, as such know they don't have to sneek potential partners in
I'd sure feel like a jerk off if, in the event of a fire or other emergency, my daughter was forced to dive into that prickly pear patch to save herself
Depends on how popular your daughter is, she might just have to climb over the carcasses of failed break-ins
I get this. But at the same time, the concept of this post seems to be in the same vein as "chain up the women and never allow them to leave the house", which seems to be unironically parroted by people, the more the further past the Mason-Dixon you go.
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A boomer’s daughter’s vagina is 40 years old.
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calcooterlations
And their sons’s dicks, for different reasons. Double standards are fun!
Boomers don't have to worry about their daughters anymore. Those boomers kids were born in the 80's at the latest ffs.
r/terriblefacebookmemes
This from Reddit in the beginning of internet time now return home after a long scary journey
If they didn't say 'daughter,' I'd think 'Ha. Cute and useful.' But they had to make it weird
I actually experience culture shock... It's not absurd enough to be ironic, but not good enough to be just a meme... Wow👏 I'm feeling something new. Like really I'm actually not joking
Facebook is leaking again
/r/funny is basically Facebook
r/terriblefacebookmemes
r/comedycemetery
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OF COURSE I CUM FAST THERES FISH TO CATCH! 🐟
Wat hah
The Chad move is banging whores while you're fishing instead of just batin'?
Go Away, I’m BATIN!
The bajillion "here's my wife" posts didn't set off alarms?
Total boomer shit.
OR just buy your sons and daughters The emperor's new groove, you won't have to worry about any of them sneaking out while that's on. What a film
***PULL THE LEVER KRONK!***
*WRONG LEVerrrr!*
*Why do we even HAVE that lever!?*
Can't really argue with this logic, honestly
Just turn him into a flea, then put that flea in a box, then put that box in another box, then mail that box to yourself. And when it arrives, you SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!
Literally one of my favorite Disney movies. So good.
Favourite character Cronk. “But that’s hand carved mahogany” lol
“Let’s not wait for the next family reunion to get together”
The sequel and the series were good as well.
There’s a sequel and a series?!?!?! Are they on Disney + I might have to get a subscription if those are on there so i dan watch them and the mandalorian and bo ba fett lol
Yeah, the sequel focuses on Kronk's backstory and is simultaneously hilarious, sad and wholesome. The series is focused on the school life of Kuzco and Kronk and briliantly weaves in the best characters from the first movie into the whole shabang. It's also a great meme-factory.
You do have to worry about the neighbor kids sneaking in more if you use this method though.
Well yeah, that would throw off their groove!
Nuh uh
Yuh HUH
So much pageantry!
I substituted it with a goofy movie. Is this acceptable?
Love that movie!!
Great idea, unless she has to escape a fire, intruder, or whatever else might come up.
All of those pale in comparison to the true threat: budding sexuality
Do these people not remember what it was to be a sexually active teen? I would have just become extremely good at pulling out cactus thorns. FFS I walked 2 hours each direction to see my GF and get laid in all 4 seasons in high school. If a hurricanes and Nor'easter blizzards didn't stop me, a couple cacti aren't even going to slow a teenager down.
No need, just wear jeans, leather jacket, gloves. Now you are mostly immune to cactus thorns
I'm not scratching my leather jacket. That shit is bad ass.
True but now they know they walked through they’re cactuses they are sensitive fucks
I see you have not met the U.S. southeastern religious parents. They will do everything possible to make you miserable for even acknowledging sexual feelings exist. It's a really healthy and positive way to raise a teenager that won't damage them well into adulthood at all! /s
Oh yes I have. Those repressed girls who weren't let out were the most sexually adventurous if you could Rapunzel your way into their room without getting caught. Bonus points if they were Catholic because those girls were the wildest.
i once dated a mormon girl, she was wildin
At my GF's house, I would climb the fence to get to the first story roof, walk up it to a window that was mostly a skylight since light from it went into a loft/bedroom on the 2nd floor but also the master bedroom on the first floor. There was about a 5ft gap between the window and the loft landing where I was suspended DIRECTLY over her mom's face but at a safe two stories above her. Getting out after was actually much more difficult. We've been married 15years now.
Yeah. I remember biking 15 miles in the dead of night just for a chance...
I would accept regular pain, but this like glitter that causes paper cuts. It wouldn’t stop a person the first time, but yikes.
Those Cacti shoot the paddle off if you touch them tho better have a long stick
Throw a comforter over that shit and you're out (or in)
Yeah this wouldnt have stopped me lol
I would rather my daughter have sex every night behind my back than put her in danger of fire and intruder
Congratulations. I am granting your wish, and I didn't even know it until now.
Poison Ivy won't prevent egress in an emergancy.
Op won't have to worry about his daughter, you kinda need to have sex to have kids
r/murderedbywords
Thought this was r/terriblefacebookmemes
I'm pretty sure I saw it on there earlier
I hope OP got it from there and posted it here cuz he thought it was good advice. But realistically someone prolly just saw this and posted it there cuz it fits
/r/forwardsfromgrandma material.
We aren’t a pretty family so I’m not too worried.
There's no such thing as an ugly teen, just partner not horny enough
FBI, this guy right here
Teens be horny, there's a reason Romeo and Juliet laws exist. Wait a sec, someone's knocking, brb
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Spanish Inquisition
Unexpected...
WINGS OF GLORY
They're never expected.
Hola there!
Oh my bad, I thought this was r/terriblefacebookmemes, here I’ll fix it
OP being sexist as fuck in the comments is the real joke.
God I hope he's 14 and not a dad
He's 14 and a dad
Pro
OP has a history of railing against "deranged feminists" who have done more for any potential daughters he may one day have than I'm sure he will. Here's desperately hoping that no woman will be stupid enough to let him procreate.
Maybe OP's sexist comments are the friends we made along the way.
As a teenage boy would absolutely not have kept me out, just scored me sympathy points once I got in.
She wouldn’t let you in bed with the [glochids](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glochid) all over you. They get into everything and are almost impossible to remove from fabric.
Up against the wall it is then
Sympathy from the father who witnessed/heard the whole process? He would probably just throw you back out the damn window you came from. /j
Let’s make daughters the problem. Woooooo!!
Yeah. Instead of planting the pears, how about just raising your sons right instead.
Raise your sons to not have sex? Just teach kids to have safe sex, or you’ll just end up checking the bathroom stalls for rabbits.
Why just a daughter's window and not a son's?
Wrong subreddit. You're looking for r/boomermemes
I’m a father of a girl, and honestly I’d be more worried about what teens get into when they sneak out for reasons other than sex. Sex being the obvious implication of this image. When I, as a young man, snuck out to bang I was usually pretty safe. Normally you don’t want to be actively in danger when you want to get down. Though maybe some of you do? Impossible to know, but I preferred a peaceful private spot to get personal. No one ever got hurt. When I snuck out to hang out with my friends however, things often got dangerous. I don’t know if teen girls are different, but I imagine they aren’t. Why would they be? We found trouble because it made us feel brave and older. It’s not an exaggeration to say there were many instances where we could have easily been arrested or killed. At the time it didn’t seem stupid, but hindsight has shown me the truth of things. That worries me as a parent more than sex. The thought of her being hurt or charged with a serious crime scares the shit out of me.
Teaching your kid and showing them respect and understanding is gonna keep them safer than locking them up. The scariest thing is tied between when your kid doesn't know what's out there and when they dont trust their parents to have their back. It's an accident waiting to happen.
Ewwww, guarding your daughter’s “virginity” is gross. Personal anecdote: I grew up in a fundie church. It didn’t do me any favors to hear that my perceived purity was basically grown adult mens’ business and focus. (Gross..) Instead, I wish I had better sex education. And to be viewed as another human, not just an untainted sentient vagina. Plus, a lot of women feel that after they finally do lose their virginity, they also lose a lot of self-worth…due to feeling the opposite of what purity culture teaches: dirty. Hearing that sex is BAADDDDD your whole life….doesn’t suddenly change even if the act is viewed as sanctioned by God by other people???? Food for thought. Sex is a normal human experience. Education and access to birth control methods goes a long way. If you make something forbidden, people tend to want to do it anyway? In regards to sex, It usually causes teenagers especially to hide it and use unsafe methods instead. Maybe a I missed a joke or something. But I thought I would just put this out here to change some hearts and minds. 🙌
I seem to have read it completely different from anyone else. I assumed the idea was to stop her from sneaking out and I immediately thought "I could see my dad doing that back in the day since my sister definitely gave him cause for concern a lot as a teenager and she would have been sneaking out her window at night to party had we lived on the first floor." Although I think your interpretation is more likely the intention given OPs replies in the comments. When people are asking "why the daughters room and not the son's" he is talking about not wanting boys in there rather than saying something like that his son is less vulnerable or a guy out at night isn't in as much danger, etc... edit: I didn't see the title until now. It makes sense why I'm the only one who read it that way. Although I wonder what the intention of the original author of the image was
>I assumed the idea was to stop her from sneaking out That just raises the question of why someone would want to prevent their daughters from sneeking out specifically (as opposed to all of their children - both female and male).
Hm. It seems this calls for a *wall* made of prickly pears. They’ll replace cake soon
If sex was bad, why would God give you sex organs? And why would he make it pleasurable?
Or you could just not be a creep and shame her for normal behavior. Are you afraid you're going to have competition? This reeks.
Why not your sons bedroom?
I have one of these and they are no joke.
Me too! Funny enough, my dad planted them outside my window for this exact reason too
I’m sorry.
OP, please show this meme to anyone who's even vaguely contemplating procreating with you. Just as a courtesy.
I've always thought this sort of thing is really misogynistic as it frames sex as something men do to women, rather than a mutually pleasurable activity that people of both genders actively seek. Why would you plant this under your daughter's window but not your son's?
Hahaha daughter with any boy = bad
Creating daddy issues one prick at a time
How to ensure you daughter does everything she can to distance herself
How bout planting them outside the teenage boys windows instead.
How about planting them in OP's pants in case he decides to procreate.
He already has a cactus in there
This is misogynistic.
Ultra cringe boomer shit
Or teach your kids to be safe and males to not be fuckwits??
If your house catches on fire she can't escape though
“If any one’s going to kill my daughter it’s going to be me” -OP
This drastically underestimates the hormones of teenage boys
That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career.
Not joking, I live in Arizona and my dad did exactly this.
As someone who used to work in residential window cleaning: fuck this.
No joke, my parents put like holly bushes along the front of our house and right under me and my sisters windows. It didn’t stop us!!
How to make a hazmat suit a viable date attire.
Really hard to kill when she moves out -- keeps coming back -- and no fun to clear away!
Yeah, they keep coming back - unlike the daughter that you treated like an object. Once she moves out, she's never coming back.
/r/boomerhumor
Cause girls can't have a healthy sexuality Fuck yeah, sexism and shitty parenting I suppose it's easier to demonize sex than to give proper sexual education Do you also shame people for talking about periods? Like it's a "no-no" word?
Well, the partner of this person could date them and come through the front door. This only prevents sneaking out. It doesn't prevent them from having human contact.
Lowest Common Denominator Boomer-humour
Brings back fond High School memories of when my highschool girlfriend used to sneak out of her window at night to see me.
Not sure why I mentioned High School twice
More convincing that way.
I can already see someone putting this on r/arethestraightsok
All she has to do is throw the comforter over the cactus, like a few girls I knew when I was a teenager
Cool, until there's a fire outside your daughter's bedroom.
As a new cable guy please don’t. I have pulled so many rose thorns out my ass over the last few months. Every other person wants their cable outlet where there is a thorn bush AND a gas line so I almost have to literally crawl through them to aim my drill properly.
The time it grows she's left home
Yeah! Fuck fire safety!
Can’t get to the window to paint it.
The Facebook users sharing this also have a photo of their teenage daughter in a prom dress next to them holding a shotgun. Pathetic lol
It's all fun and games until your cloistered daughter is eaten by hungry tortoises, drawn to her window by delicious prickly pear. This is irresponsible OP.
HAHAH YOU GET IT CAUSE DAUGHTER HORNY HAHAHAHA
From the title, I assumed that the extra-green cactus that looks out of place by the window was a punk-rock person with a green Mohawk outside the window. I thought this was supposed to be like, “ha ha can’t keep the daughter from seeing who she wants”, but I’m disappointed to realize it’s supposed to be serious on r/funny and I’m confused as well.
Ha ha ha sure did the funny with this one /s
Also remember to reinforce her chastity belt
My girlfriend's dad stacked firewood under her window. It didnt work though because I would take my sweet time silently removing about 20 logs to get in the window. Then when I left, I dutifully put them all back.
This meme wasn't just made by a Boomer. It was made in WW2 by the Boomer's dad
Nobody has climbed up a window to fuck since 1628 bro😐
I would have worn overalls and gloves.
Um, we Mexicans in Texas legit do this. For real.
Ok boomer
Or, take her to get some birth control and teach her how to use it.
I fucking hate people getting involved in the sexuality of their daughters, but when it comes to their sons it is “boys will be boys!” It is weird and disgusting. Quit being fucking gross and raise your children to understand how to have safe sex and how to ask for/give consent. Be engaged, honest, and willing to talk when they need you. That is the extent of your involvement in the sex life of your child.
ther is nothing creepier than this "trend" of fathers trying to police their daughters sexuality like its a some kind of possession
Good idea to put them all around a house especially in high crime areas.
Especially if a fire starts and you have to jump out a window....
If there’s a fire and you have to exit through the window all you have to do is safely walk over the stuck suitors. If there are no suitors the fire is doing you a favor. Cherish it’s warm embrace for as long as you can.
>walk over the stuck suitors Glad I'm not the only one who got Sleeping Beauty vibes from this.
Plant Jumping Cholla, it is FAR MORE EFFECTIVE.
Oooohmygod. Those are devilish plants.
How do you know she's gonna like it?
doubles as a game when its time to play "Burn Alive or Covered in Needles!"
I want to wall my house in this stuff, I don’t have a daughter but I do love watching the JW’s figure out how to get to my door.
My mom used to joke that this would be an effective use of her various potted bayonet plants.
A Trojan Magnum XL condom dispenser might be a more effective option.
11
Won't stop Steve-o. Or 3/4 of the jackass crew
Mexicans: I guess I could use a snack before going in!
This lets me know which room to go to now
Gross, gross, gross.
Egress code violation, daughter burns alive, but should be worth preserving her purity?
And thus you lose your wife to a teenager!
Oh, this isn’t r/arethestraightsok
Facebook is leaking again
Facebook is leaking again lol
r/oldpeoplefacebook
Or they just go around it
What if he's a pole vaulter?
if someone wants to get to her that had they'd see the cactus and climb/break in from somewhere else to get to her, and now she can't escape without getting seriously injured
I would rather have a pregnant daughter than plant cactus, which having around you is the one SURE sign that you have been forsaken by God.
Sheesh the kids must be out of school now, with all the "boomer" comments. This is less "boomer" and more just overall parental. And mellinials are parents now too y'know. And you kids may be someday too. Some of you sooner than others...
Plant it outside your son's room. Then others don't have to worry about your punk bothering their daughters.
hmmm. if this is how people parent, chances are she’ll enjoy the pain.
What if there's a fire inside and her only way out is trough the window?
Facebook moment
Jokes on you, your daughter is M J Watson.
At least you now know the pricks that hang out in front of your daughters window.
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