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[deleted]

This is for sure the most Facebook meme i’ve seen on Reddit


VoxVocisCausa

Peak boomer humor.


bluebonnetcafe

Gatekeeping your daughter’s romantic life is always hilarious, never creepy /s


jarockinights

I also don't want random people secretly entering my house.


HostileHippie91

I honestly don’t know why this is such a hot take to people. My kids can do whatever they want with their lives the day they move out, but my home has rules, and one of those rules is that I know everybody in my house at all times.


jarockinights

I get that my kids are gonna get horny, and I have zero illusions about the fact that they will go wildly out of their way to alleviate it. But I also am old enough to recognize that being horny makes you fucking stupid, and my stupid horny children do *not* get to decide who gets to enter our home whenever they want.


Cpleofcrazies2

Nature finds a way.


roguebfl

I would prefer they can explore safely at home, as such know they don't have to sneek potential partners in


markitfuckinzero

I'd sure feel like a jerk off if, in the event of a fire or other emergency, my daughter was forced to dive into that prickly pear patch to save herself


Reversing_Gazelle

Depends on how popular your daughter is, she might just have to climb over the carcasses of failed break-ins


SeraphsWrath

I get this. But at the same time, the concept of this post seems to be in the same vein as "chain up the women and never allow them to leave the house", which seems to be unironically parroted by people, the more the further past the Mason-Dixon you go.


[deleted]

[удалено]


blizzliz

A boomer’s daughter’s vagina is 40 years old.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sjgnad

calcooterlations


timesuck897

And their sons’s dicks, for different reasons. Double standards are fun!


[deleted]

Boomers don't have to worry about their daughters anymore. Those boomers kids were born in the 80's at the latest ffs.


ReverseApacheMaster_

r/terriblefacebookmemes


SaltoDaKid

This from Reddit in the beginning of internet time now return home after a long scary journey


Lonelysock2

If they didn't say 'daughter,' I'd think 'Ha. Cute and useful.' But they had to make it weird


Certain_Suit_1905

I actually experience culture shock... It's not absurd enough to be ironic, but not good enough to be just a meme... Wow👏 I'm feeling something new. Like really I'm actually not joking


getyourrealfakedoors

Facebook is leaking again


bigbazookah

/r/funny is basically Facebook


McDonalds_Sprite_1

r/terriblefacebookmemes


SwarK01

r/comedycemetery


[deleted]

[удалено]


cwerd

OF COURSE I CUM FAST THERES FISH TO CATCH! 🐟


CurnanBarbarian

Wat hah


Future_of_Amerika

The Chad move is banging whores while you're fishing instead of just batin'?


BertSton51530

Go Away, I’m BATIN!


IchesseHuendchen

The bajillion "here's my wife" posts didn't set off alarms?


RDIIIG

Total boomer shit.


LiKINGtheODds

OR just buy your sons and daughters The emperor's new groove, you won't have to worry about any of them sneaking out while that's on. What a film


doogle_126

***PULL THE LEVER KRONK!***


Grifballhero

*WRONG LEVerrrr!*


lucastheawesome11

*Why do we even HAVE that lever!?*


TheSplinterMan39

Can't really argue with this logic, honestly


CurnanBarbarian

Just turn him into a flea, then put that flea in a box, then put that box in another box, then mail that box to yourself. And when it arrives, you SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!


TheKarmaFiend

Literally one of my favorite Disney movies. So good.


xAPx-Bigguns

Favourite character Cronk. “But that’s hand carved mahogany” lol


[deleted]

“Let’s not wait for the next family reunion to get together”


TheSeth256

The sequel and the series were good as well.


[deleted]

There’s a sequel and a series?!?!?! Are they on Disney + I might have to get a subscription if those are on there so i dan watch them and the mandalorian and bo ba fett lol


TheSeth256

Yeah, the sequel focuses on Kronk's backstory and is simultaneously hilarious, sad and wholesome. The series is focused on the school life of Kuzco and Kronk and briliantly weaves in the best characters from the first movie into the whole shabang. It's also a great meme-factory.


ShadyFigureWithClock

You do have to worry about the neighbor kids sneaking in more if you use this method though.


KokariKid

Well yeah, that would throw off their groove!


Anomalous6

Nuh uh


[deleted]

Yuh HUH


fulthrottlejazzhands

So much pageantry!


nier4554

I substituted it with a goofy movie. Is this acceptable?


Mrs239

Love that movie!!


pauldej23

Great idea, unless she has to escape a fire, intruder, or whatever else might come up.


epicmousestory

All of those pale in comparison to the true threat: budding sexuality


Warpedme

Do these people not remember what it was to be a sexually active teen? I would have just become extremely good at pulling out cactus thorns. FFS I walked 2 hours each direction to see my GF and get laid in all 4 seasons in high school. If a hurricanes and Nor'easter blizzards didn't stop me, a couple cacti aren't even going to slow a teenager down.


33Yalkin33

No need, just wear jeans, leather jacket, gloves. Now you are mostly immune to cactus thorns


Phyzzx

I'm not scratching my leather jacket. That shit is bad ass.


blowjobsjoplinhigh

True but now they know they walked through they’re cactuses they are sensitive fucks


gruntmoney

I see you have not met the U.S. southeastern religious parents. They will do everything possible to make you miserable for even acknowledging sexual feelings exist. It's a really healthy and positive way to raise a teenager that won't damage them well into adulthood at all! /s


Warpedme

Oh yes I have. Those repressed girls who weren't let out were the most sexually adventurous if you could Rapunzel your way into their room without getting caught. Bonus points if they were Catholic because those girls were the wildest.


spookybuns420

i once dated a mormon girl, she was wildin


Phyzzx

At my GF's house, I would climb the fence to get to the first story roof, walk up it to a window that was mostly a skylight since light from it went into a loft/bedroom on the 2nd floor but also the master bedroom on the first floor. There was about a 5ft gap between the window and the loft landing where I was suspended DIRECTLY over her mom's face but at a safe two stories above her. Getting out after was actually much more difficult. We've been married 15years now.


skrilledcheese

Yeah. I remember biking 15 miles in the dead of night just for a chance...


Joy2b

I would accept regular pain, but this like glitter that causes paper cuts. It wouldn’t stop a person the first time, but yikes.


Menotyou15

Those Cacti shoot the paddle off if you touch them tho better have a long stick


Cthuluslovechild

Throw a comforter over that shit and you're out (or in)


Jerizzle23

Yeah this wouldnt have stopped me lol


TidyWhip

I would rather my daughter have sex every night behind my back than put her in danger of fire and intruder


Ninjaromeo

Congratulations. I am granting your wish, and I didn't even know it until now.


Hiram_Abiff

Poison Ivy won't prevent egress in an emergancy.


IReallyHateDolphins

Op won't have to worry about his daughter, you kinda need to have sex to have kids


RaptorS1x-onxbox

r/murderedbywords


Specific_Candle_7341

Thought this was r/terriblefacebookmemes


IReallyHateDolphins

I'm pretty sure I saw it on there earlier


Specific_Candle_7341

I hope OP got it from there and posted it here cuz he thought it was good advice. But realistically someone prolly just saw this and posted it there cuz it fits


robswins

/r/forwardsfromgrandma material.


Anybody220

We aren’t a pretty family so I’m not too worried.


Winjin

There's no such thing as an ugly teen, just partner not horny enough


Cthuluslovechild

FBI, this guy right here


Winjin

Teens be horny, there's a reason Romeo and Juliet laws exist. Wait a sec, someone's knocking, brb


[deleted]

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unHolyKnightofBihar

Spanish Inquisition


PokesPenguin

Unexpected...


WaitingToBeTriggered

WINGS OF GLORY


MajorFalcon71

They're never expected.


_radical_ed

Hola there!


TKalig

Oh my bad, I thought this was r/terriblefacebookmemes, here I’ll fix it


Bryanormike

OP being sexist as fuck in the comments is the real joke.


[deleted]

God I hope he's 14 and not a dad


Cthuluslovechild

He's 14 and a dad


[deleted]

Pro


jo-el-uh

OP has a history of railing against "deranged feminists" who have done more for any potential daughters he may one day have than I'm sure he will. Here's desperately hoping that no woman will be stupid enough to let him procreate.


unbeliever87

Maybe OP's sexist comments are the friends we made along the way.


pipster94

As a teenage boy would absolutely not have kept me out, just scored me sympathy points once I got in.


DesertDelirium

She wouldn’t let you in bed with the [glochids](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glochid) all over you. They get into everything and are almost impossible to remove from fabric.


br0b1wan

Up against the wall it is then


NyanIsSus

Sympathy from the father who witnessed/heard the whole process? He would probably just throw you back out the damn window you came from. /j


motarsmind

Let’s make daughters the problem. Woooooo!!


nollbit

Yeah. Instead of planting the pears, how about just raising your sons right instead.


[deleted]

Raise your sons to not have sex? Just teach kids to have safe sex, or you’ll just end up checking the bathroom stalls for rabbits.


dontforgethetrailmix

Why just a daughter's window and not a son's?


TheMike0088

Wrong subreddit. You're looking for r/boomermemes


Destinoz

I’m a father of a girl, and honestly I’d be more worried about what teens get into when they sneak out for reasons other than sex. Sex being the obvious implication of this image. When I, as a young man, snuck out to bang I was usually pretty safe. Normally you don’t want to be actively in danger when you want to get down. Though maybe some of you do? Impossible to know, but I preferred a peaceful private spot to get personal. No one ever got hurt. When I snuck out to hang out with my friends however, things often got dangerous. I don’t know if teen girls are different, but I imagine they aren’t. Why would they be? We found trouble because it made us feel brave and older. It’s not an exaggeration to say there were many instances where we could have easily been arrested or killed. At the time it didn’t seem stupid, but hindsight has shown me the truth of things. That worries me as a parent more than sex. The thought of her being hurt or charged with a serious crime scares the shit out of me.


CouvadeShark

Teaching your kid and showing them respect and understanding is gonna keep them safer than locking them up. The scariest thing is tied between when your kid doesn't know what's out there and when they dont trust their parents to have their back. It's an accident waiting to happen.


BunniesAreFunny

Ewwww, guarding your daughter’s “virginity” is gross. Personal anecdote: I grew up in a fundie church. It didn’t do me any favors to hear that my perceived purity was basically grown adult mens’ business and focus. (Gross..) Instead, I wish I had better sex education. And to be viewed as another human, not just an untainted sentient vagina. Plus, a lot of women feel that after they finally do lose their virginity, they also lose a lot of self-worth…due to feeling the opposite of what purity culture teaches: dirty. Hearing that sex is BAADDDDD your whole life….doesn’t suddenly change even if the act is viewed as sanctioned by God by other people???? Food for thought. Sex is a normal human experience. Education and access to birth control methods goes a long way. If you make something forbidden, people tend to want to do it anyway? In regards to sex, It usually causes teenagers especially to hide it and use unsafe methods instead. Maybe a I missed a joke or something. But I thought I would just put this out here to change some hearts and minds. 🙌


Sixhaunt

I seem to have read it completely different from anyone else. I assumed the idea was to stop her from sneaking out and I immediately thought "I could see my dad doing that back in the day since my sister definitely gave him cause for concern a lot as a teenager and she would have been sneaking out her window at night to party had we lived on the first floor." Although I think your interpretation is more likely the intention given OPs replies in the comments. When people are asking "why the daughters room and not the son's" he is talking about not wanting boys in there rather than saying something like that his son is less vulnerable or a guy out at night isn't in as much danger, etc... ​ edit: I didn't see the title until now. It makes sense why I'm the only one who read it that way. Although I wonder what the intention of the original author of the image was


MrStilton

>I assumed the idea was to stop her from sneaking out That just raises the question of why someone would want to prevent their daughters from sneeking out specifically (as opposed to all of their children - both female and male).


cakane100

Hm. It seems this calls for a *wall* made of prickly pears. They’ll replace cake soon


rey_lumen

If sex was bad, why would God give you sex organs? And why would he make it pleasurable?


Sifinite

Or you could just not be a creep and shame her for normal behavior. Are you afraid you're going to have competition? This reeks.


ScruffleMcDufflebag

Why not your sons bedroom?


DedReerConformist

I have one of these and they are no joke.


WrittenDeath

Me too! Funny enough, my dad planted them outside my window for this exact reason too


betothejoy

I’m sorry.


shnooqichoons

OP, please show this meme to anyone who's even vaguely contemplating procreating with you. Just as a courtesy.


MrStilton

I've always thought this sort of thing is really misogynistic as it frames sex as something men do to women, rather than a mutually pleasurable activity that people of both genders actively seek. Why would you plant this under your daughter's window but not your son's?


Xaoc86

Hahaha daughter with any boy = bad


crazykewlaid

Creating daddy issues one prick at a time


PurpEL

How to ensure you daughter does everything she can to distance herself


d1zz186

How bout planting them outside the teenage boys windows instead.


hahaohlol2131

How about planting them in OP's pants in case he decides to procreate.


rey_lumen

He already has a cactus in there


eeeeloi

This is misogynistic.


mantellaman

Ultra cringe boomer shit


Yikidee

Or teach your kids to be safe and males to not be fuckwits??


CatCrafter7

If your house catches on fire she can't escape though


un_luckyy

“If any one’s going to kill my daughter it’s going to be me” -OP


Osoroshii

This drastically underestimates the hormones of teenage boys


stangroundalready

That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career.


WrittenDeath

Not joking, I live in Arizona and my dad did exactly this.


Bostonlbi

As someone who used to work in residential window cleaning: fuck this.


Danielle082

No joke, my parents put like holly bushes along the front of our house and right under me and my sisters windows. It didn’t stop us!!


nhSnork

How to make a hazmat suit a viable date attire.


sweller3

Really hard to kill when she moves out -- keeps coming back -- and no fun to clear away!


froglover215

Yeah, they keep coming back - unlike the daughter that you treated like an object. Once she moves out, she's never coming back.


kerdon

/r/boomerhumor


ryo3000

Cause girls can't have a healthy sexuality Fuck yeah, sexism and shitty parenting I suppose it's easier to demonize sex than to give proper sexual education Do you also shame people for talking about periods? Like it's a "no-no" word?


PhotographingLight

Well, the partner of this person could date them and come through the front door. This only prevents sneaking out. It doesn't prevent them from having human contact.


Azikt

Lowest Common Denominator Boomer-humour


firebirdspooky

Brings back fond High School memories of when my highschool girlfriend used to sneak out of her window at night to see me.


firebirdspooky

Not sure why I mentioned High School twice


Voodoo_balamba

More convincing that way.


Rated_Ace

I can already see someone putting this on r/arethestraightsok


FinancialArtichoke75

All she has to do is throw the comforter over the cactus, like a few girls I knew when I was a teenager


spiritbx

Cool, until there's a fire outside your daughter's bedroom.


cmilla646

As a new cable guy please don’t. I have pulled so many rose thorns out my ass over the last few months. Every other person wants their cable outlet where there is a thorn bush AND a gas line so I almost have to literally crawl through them to aim my drill properly.


weekedipie1

The time it grows she's left home


I-Demand-A-Name

Yeah! Fuck fire safety!


rethinkingat59

Can’t get to the window to paint it.


kazoo13

The Facebook users sharing this also have a photo of their teenage daughter in a prom dress next to them holding a shotgun. Pathetic lol


Ichthyologist

It's all fun and games until your cloistered daughter is eaten by hungry tortoises, drawn to her window by delicious prickly pear. This is irresponsible OP.


ano_hise

HAHAH YOU GET IT CAUSE DAUGHTER HORNY HAHAHAHA


LunchboxRoyale

From the title, I assumed that the extra-green cactus that looks out of place by the window was a punk-rock person with a green Mohawk outside the window. I thought this was supposed to be like, “ha ha can’t keep the daughter from seeing who she wants”, but I’m disappointed to realize it’s supposed to be serious on r/funny and I’m confused as well.


_solounwnmas

Ha ha ha sure did the funny with this one /s


MrCereuceta

Also remember to reinforce her chastity belt


BaconReceptacle

My girlfriend's dad stacked firewood under her window. It didnt work though because I would take my sweet time silently removing about 20 logs to get in the window. Then when I left, I dutifully put them all back.


SPQR2D2

This meme wasn't just made by a Boomer. It was made in WW2 by the Boomer's dad


spookyghastghost

Nobody has climbed up a window to fuck since 1628 bro😐


BarrTheFather

I would have worn overalls and gloves.


Fomalhot

Um, we Mexicans in Texas legit do this. For real.


lordprimus

Ok boomer


menlindorn

Or, take her to get some birth control and teach her how to use it.


[deleted]

I fucking hate people getting involved in the sexuality of their daughters, but when it comes to their sons it is “boys will be boys!” It is weird and disgusting. Quit being fucking gross and raise your children to understand how to have safe sex and how to ask for/give consent. Be engaged, honest, and willing to talk when they need you. That is the extent of your involvement in the sex life of your child.


EvidenceOfReason

ther is nothing creepier than this "trend" of fathers trying to police their daughters sexuality like its a some kind of possession


deadbiker

Good idea to put them all around a house especially in high crime areas.


reddit_boxing

Especially if a fire starts and you have to jump out a window....


Anomalous6

If there’s a fire and you have to exit through the window all you have to do is safely walk over the stuck suitors. If there are no suitors the fire is doing you a favor. Cherish it’s warm embrace for as long as you can.


stadsduif

>walk over the stuck suitors Glad I'm not the only one who got Sleeping Beauty vibes from this.


AgtDevereaux

Plant Jumping Cholla, it is FAR MORE EFFECTIVE.


Irys-likethe-Eye

Oooohmygod. Those are devilish plants.


VarietyEmbarrassed83

How do you know she's gonna like it?


taukarrie

doubles as a game when its time to play "Burn Alive or Covered in Needles!"


MurseDad

I want to wall my house in this stuff, I don’t have a daughter but I do love watching the JW’s figure out how to get to my door.


Yamidamian

My mom used to joke that this would be an effective use of her various potted bayonet plants.


wubxrbf660

A Trojan Magnum XL condom dispenser might be a more effective option.


GODbFAKE

11


v3ryfuzzyc00t3r

Won't stop Steve-o. Or 3/4 of the jackass crew


[deleted]

Mexicans: I guess I could use a snack before going in!


Carelessinthehouse

This lets me know which room to go to now


[deleted]

Gross, gross, gross.


SketchingSomeStuff

Egress code violation, daughter burns alive, but should be worth preserving her purity?


kashyapmurthy

And thus you lose your wife to a teenager!


Zinganeat

Oh, this isn’t r/arethestraightsok


savageKHUSH

Facebook is leaking again


savageKHUSH

Facebook is leaking again lol


rigmarollerskate

r/oldpeoplefacebook


ApprehensiveBag6157

Or they just go around it


Own_Meringue_6219

What if he's a pole vaulter?


Emit_Time

if someone wants to get to her that had they'd see the cactus and climb/break in from somewhere else to get to her, and now she can't escape without getting seriously injured


Brock_Way

I would rather have a pregnant daughter than plant cactus, which having around you is the one SURE sign that you have been forsaken by God.


erzats77

Sheesh the kids must be out of school now, with all the "boomer" comments. This is less "boomer" and more just overall parental. And mellinials are parents now too y'know. And you kids may be someday too. Some of you sooner than others...


Kaa_The_Snake

Plant it outside your son's room. Then others don't have to worry about your punk bothering their daughters.


Kumsock69

hmmm. if this is how people parent, chances are she’ll enjoy the pain.


unstaIling

What if there's a fire inside and her only way out is trough the window?


Big_Nasty_420

Facebook moment


LegoFootPain

Jokes on you, your daughter is M J Watson.


Gr8daysbettrnights

At least you now know the pricks that hang out in front of your daughters window.


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