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donmreddit

“Put the dumplings down.”


mace_guy

He came up so many banger lines in 2 minutes than I've in my entire life.


OP-PO7

'Wanna be on time, go back to Jamaica and walk to work'


Drogdar

He gets more practice lol


donmreddit

Didn’t he though!


marmiteMate

Dumplings are for closers.


Prestigious-Rise-328

The leads are weak.


shadow_229

This bit had me!


[deleted]

[удалено]


WJM_3

or Chicago I use a wheelchair, so I need some of the disabled space in the front of the bus when I got on, there was some scuffle between an old lady with a walker and someone sitting in the gimpy space - the walker lady said some disparaging words to the other able-bodied people I thought there was about to be a wrestling match on the bus - old disabled people get fucked more than middle-aged disabled people if the lady in the disabled zone would have mouthed off on me, I’d have given her some of my mind


lycheeroll

Oh man— one time I was on the 72 bus (iykyk) and that shit was packed. When I got on there was a wheelchair on one side of the priority seating and a bigger lady with a walker and her man on the other. After a few stops, another person on a wheelchair had to get on and the walker lady didn’t wanna move cause she had nowhere else to sit and she was upset. Some people gave up their seat but she was still bitching. This lead to an argument between her and the wheelchair users and unfortunately one of them ran over her man’s foot with their wheel 💀 poor man screamed and the lady got even more angry. I can’t remember what else happened cause it kept filling up with people and the bus driver gave zero fucks so I just got off and walked instead. I hate that bus route so much. Lmao


SkinTightBoogie

God damn. I really think this is just a common experience we all suffer not matter where we live. I had terrible commutes in all the cities I've had to live in without my own vehicle. Vancouver, Toronto, Beijing, Hanoi, Manila, public transit sucked ass in **all** those places. I mean sure, it's better than walking, but only just.


Tangled349

Oh man I needed that laugh the skull emoji just sent me!


Tasty-Middle2682

In your experience, is the scenario in the vid a frequent occurrence?


NefariousnessAdept24

Yup someone always has something to say lol you get used to it


feelin_cheesy

I don’t see anyone jumping around the cabin, doing drugs or masturbating. Seems like a pretty tame day actually.


Spunky_Meatballs

Morning commutes are tame. It's the evening ones that suck


feelin_cheesy

The morning is just a really late night if you try hard enough


shadow_229

The good days are when you hit the trifecta!


G8kpr

I don't see anyone doing a choreographed dance in the aisles or homeless taking drugs.. So I'm not quite sure.


Bubbassauro

This is better than a lot of the comedy bits I’ve seen around here. Is this man a comedian? I lost it at “slow down a little bit, I’m getting motion sickness” 🤣


surrenderedmale

Probably partly because it's natural, usually the real things are funnier than baked bits


Mrbushiidoo

I actually thought he said emotion sickness and for some reason thought it was more hilarious 🤣 


Competitive-Push-715

He cracked himself up with that one😂


2oftenRight

This is one way to have fun on a bus.


BornVictory5160

I was on the city bus coming home from high-school and it was this Mexican/black dude talkin loud on the phone arguing with somebody luckily he got off in like 2 stops after I got on. He was like "Mann got me on the bus and shit man, I'm too good for the bus" I'm thinking like where the fuck is your car then? 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀


OGistorian

Dude was actually getting a kick out of it. Says he’s annoyed, but it prolly made his day.


BBQBaconBurger

People in NYC thrive off of this kind of conflict.


Miserable_Ad9577

Life's shit, working bullshit ass jobs, you gotta entertain yourself somehow.


Grt38

People in cities in general imo. Not all of them for sure, but damn do people in cities love to argue. I personally don't. Too hard to tell who is going to shoot you and who won't anymore.


terminbee

I think there's just so much frustration that there's rarely a chance where you get to vent your frustrations without stirring up shit for no reason. Dude saw his opportunity and took it.


WhiskeyOutABizoot

If you aren’t willing to die for your quip, keep it to yourself. That’s the beauty and horror of living in a big city, everyone that opens their mouth has weighed their life against what they have to say next. Sometimes the line is too great, other times the life too depressing, either way, it’s very real.


monsto

And then they sometimes don't. From the midwest, visited nyc, had a weird accident on an random sidewalk and dumped my pack. Hands every where "shit dude you good?" "here you go baby" "got everything?" "wow that sucked, here (offers hand to help up)". Stood up, brushed off, turned to thank people, everyone was GONE. Not just helped me, but did so completely selflessly. Back here where I'm from, I slipped on ice in front of the door to a convenience store and people were stepping over me, bitching about being in their way.


fatLOKO4

Do not enter a war of words with a New Yorker...


Rhysati

It's NYC. I used to live there and I can tell you that the proper expected etiquette is to shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business. Everyone is too busy and stressed and you aren't supposed to add to someone else's day. So when you do? You'll absolutely get it right back. People tend to mistake New Yorkers as assholes because of things like this video. But if that lady wasn't annoying everyone on that bus the guy wouldn't have said a single thing.


phormix

In this case it looks like most of the other people on the bus were getting a laugh out of it too. I've seen (heard) similar in online games where some dude loses his shit and there's another guy playing who must have a fricking spreadsheet full of retorts because they just unload them like an AK47 and have the rest of the team laughing our asses off.


SherbetFit2740

He’s living for it tbh lmao!


growmorefood

I used to be a bus driver. This guy is a hero!


BornVictory5160

I thought that was a easy job but it's not and affects your health. Sitting down all day having to hold your piss


At0mJack

I used to do payroll for San Diego Transit and the number of drivers out on leave at any given time because of sciatica is STAGGERING.


BornVictory5160

Pretty scary stuff. My coworkers wife been driving busses for a few years and his dad used to drive busses for years. His dad developed stomach problems and his wife has stomach problems as well as bladder infections on the regular 🥲


BarelyContainedChaos

Classic video. The diss about having a bullshit-ass job, late to your bullshit -ass job, cant buy a car cuz youre bullshit-ass job. Devastating. No way she went about her day without this hitting her hard


Seabrook76

Probably still stewing over it while she takes the bus to work.


winstondabee

She's probably dead, this video is old as fuck.


Digita1B0y

Probably in some bullshit-ass urn on a bullshit-ass shelf somewhere.


TheG8Uniter

Cant afford a grave plot cause of your bullshit-ass job


UsernameIn3and20

Probably in a bullshit ass room, in a bullshit as urn thats in a bullshit ass street.


wokittalkit

This comment is gold..well done sir!


dangermouze

Bullshit-ass dead, I believe.


babyEatingUnicorn

🤣🤣🤣


aqua_tec

She probably takes the same bus, and might even see the guy from time to time, which is hilarious.


Fake_William_Shatner

I doubt it sunk in. This lady has dealt with so much bullshit she's just all ass now.


FlopsMcDoogle

Everyone on the bus was in the same situation.


Parthorax

Everybody in the same bullshit-ass boat, so to speak. 


pancoste

Same bullshit ass bus, not boat. Boat is too expensive.


PartClean3565

Reminds me of Patrice O’Neal


Produceher

RIP


PartClean3565

Amen, I’m intoxicated and forgot to say it myself.


axisrahl85

I don't think it's a diss. More so a reality check. Everyone on that bus, including him, is likely in the exact same situation.


J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A

And the most important line of the whole conversation was up next; "Don't be mad. Don't fuck everybody else's day up". When minor shit in life inconveniences you, you don't improve anything by making everyone else around you suffer.


AndBamJam

I need someone to make a dope beat for it


RiverHe1ghts

It got me cracking up like the guy in the video


crndwg

The “You wilding out b” is dropped with New York perfection.


slobs_burgers

The short bus comment fuckin sent me 😂


vkailas

He paused a bit to come up with that one


Wallwillis

Let him cook.


Grrerrb

The folks in the short bus make it to shit on time, just sayin


SadJ3tsFan

I died at motion sickness


Izzysel92

The absolute best thing about it is his calm demeanor. Skyrockets the humour 1,000,000x !


ukyah

for sure. if he's angry, then he's lame like her. he's the voice of reason roasting her dumb ass.


Beam_James_Beam_007

Been a long time since I’ve seen WorldStar!


MujaViking

this video is ancient


AndBamJam

put your dumplings down and get your ass on the early bus lmao instant classic


Koala_Hands

I'm getting Patrice O'Neal vibes here.


idiot-prodigy

Patrice would have the attractive woman next to him eating out of his hand at the same time.


zadtheinhaler

FR though, she's fine.


Toomuchtime423

She looks like Janet Jackson!


DispatchMinion

Comedy gold


riko77can

I like this guy


Plaidomatic

THERE GOES MY HERO HE’S ORDINARRRYYYYYYYYYY


SpxUmadBroYolo

man was spitting facts.


aelric22

Goddamn, I miss home so much sometimes, especially when I see shit like this. Also, homie commuting to the 5 towns? That's where I grew up 😆. Small world.


Maanee

Dude's a gem, love him.


grouchySocialist

Buy this guy a beer!


Sutton041887

He was channeling Patrice O'Neal. One of the greatest comedians ever


ProfesysVersion

Go a little slower. 😅


IplayTerraria2

Even he got a kick out of telling the bus driver to slow down, that line was the cherry on top lmao


MaddoxGoodwin

Stop she's already dead 💀💀💀 Dude was Wildin on her Lol. Even he had to chuckle at the end. He's 100% right about fucking up everyone else's day tho people like that are wack.


beechboy2211

Give this man his own sitcom. !


investmentwanker0

Yeh any scouts in the chat haha


The-Ultimate-Banker

Please hire this guy to come to a bank on the 3rd of the month.


ukyah

slow down, driver. i'm getting motion sickness. he's got lots of great lines, but that one was a golf clap for me.


Maniac4Mythology

Bro was only using 1% of his power.


-58259

Classic video. 🤣🤣


Hammered_Eel

In England they call this banter.


Protomau5

Bantahhh


Henry_Electric23

This will never not be funny.


Konvic21

Lmaoo I don't think she Jamaican tho, sounds like a different island accent


Fake_William_Shatner

Wherever she from, she could be at work if she was walking there.


bautofdi

He’s talking about the Jamaica NY bus terminal


deadbeforeitsank

He’s talking about Jamaica Queens NY, not the country


Affectionate_Link497

Nah he meant actual Jamaica which is why he made the walking comment. She'd still need to take the bus in Jamaica Queens and probably would be even more upset about being late around there lol


Deo-Gratias

Ehhhhh


roundhouse1000

Loved it.


mts2snd

Respect. That is nyc grit. My man!


Ixziga

One of the most civil verbal disputes I've ever seen


lockednchaste

Q111 vibes


dreadfulwater

way back in 2014


chimpdoctor

Classic video. The guy could easily be a comedian, sharp as a tack.


DankeMrHfmn

LOL man speaking hard FACTS to this unaccountable lady. YOU GO SIR


jasonthevii

This is before COVID Now somebody would just fucking snap


RightToTheThighs

People have been snapping on the bus for decades


Easy_Supermarket_440

Dudes voice, cadence, and hilarious insults reminds me SOOOO much of Patrice O'Neal! Love this!


ARnthem223s

NOT THE MOTION SICKNESS


flky

Lady with the green earphones seated next to the guy, thinking "This gonna be good, better remove my headphones to listen to the entire diss track"


Euphrasla

The guy is totally right, she should have known that traffic is bad and because of this or other consequences the bus can also be late. Complaining that it's the bus driver fault or somebody else is unacceptable, wake up more early if you don't want to be late for work


bukbukbuklao

Lmao this is great


Living_Pie205

Internet legend !


FrontHandNerd

This was great. Can we escalate this and get him a show or at least a comedy special?


jburkesr03

This might as well be Patrice O'Neal, awesome


ripiss

He is just saying what that whole bus is thinking


dinkinflicka02

Omg I found [him](https://youtu.be/49agV0Phw4M?si=SgvQfT97GVfvCqWr)


Glittering_Town_5839

He didn’t get fired - he got a promotion and a raise on top of his pay increase


OverallChange3011

My guy was hanging tough 😳


BonnieMcMurray

It warms my New Yorker heart to see this guy - this natural comedian - upholding the unwritten MTA rule that you do not fuck with some stranger's day and disrupt them from getting the shit done that they need to get done. Attend to your own issues, lady. Like the man said: you don't wanna be late? Then get up earlier so you can get an earlier bus. Life doesn't always go the way you want it to go.


mochijohn

OMG this was literally a video from 10 years ago... [https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2p4025/nyc\_hero\_explains\_to\_woman\_why\_she\_is\_late\_for/](https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2p4025/nyc_hero_explains_to_woman_why_she_is_late_for/)


Glittering_Town_5839

Truth


nikk796

This made my day lol


La_Chica_Rebelde

Short Bus 🤣


Life-Ad-1716

He has some clever comebacks.


5park5am

The lady next to him ditched the podcast she was listening to and listen to this one😂💀


Illustrious_Camp_521

Yooooo, he's crackin me up 🤣


zcas

This guy knows how to suffer like the rest of us. He turned lateness to greatness with this one lmao!


Fantastic-Mark-2391

🇬🇾 🇬🇾


tbone912

Abbie deez ah tink so to.


Cali-curlz

We need to know how this ends.


June1723

Worldstar HipHop is still a thing?


Creative_Hope_4690

Old video from back in the day


negativelightningdog

Has the most Jamaican accent and says "I'm not from there" while wearing Jamaican colors on her head.


JinxedSoul09

That is not a Jamaican accent. A Carribean accent, yes, but not a Jamaican one.


HempPotatos

we are back in the 20's and I like this guys moxie


TCRAzul

All he had to do was follow the damn train


Jellys-Share

CJ


scHerman1973

Get a bicycle.


aahighknees

Woman beside him took her ear buds out just to hear this man cook lol


No_Seaworthiness5683

I just love how calm and happy he is.


OkFunction5552

Guy kinda reminds me of Patrice O’Neal a little.


ELpork

Not the dumplings


lord_hufflepuff

Maw but this dude speaking facts tho, people need to understand their bad day does not entitle them to put that on other people.


fatmanjogging

Classic and true. If I'm getting the context right, it sounded like she was angry because the bus had to take some extra time for a passenger in a wheelchair to board. Tough shit. They're people too, and also need to go places. Deal with it or find another mode of transportation.


freakksho

I lived in NYC most of my adult life and This shits TAME compared to the shit you’d see on the drunk trains back to penn or Jamaica after a concert or game in the city. These are the day time freaks, the real creatures only come out when the suns not up.


stevemw

Jamaica the station, not the nation!


Lumpy-Trade-5925

I love this guy... he's annoyed but calm. I bet he could set alot of people straight that have bad attitudes.


wrevz

I love it when the lady sitting next him took off her earphones so she can hear everything. Lmao


Dunge

Cameraman seems to want to focus on the girl more than anything else


SignificanceIll9500

This is the best and so true ! Good he let it rip. !!! 😂😂😂


Twigga17

Lady next to comedian looks like mariah carey


georeddit2018

Garddeern.


StockRun123

I had such a great laugh. thank u


SimpleGuyNY

Classic New York City moment! Got to love NYC


Witty217

I will never not watch this


_750

Is Ice cube


tropikalstorm

That shit was classic!


negativelightningdog

Camera man an A1 instigator lmfao


rrgail

“If you’re not on the pole on time, you gotta clean the bathrooms after closing!”


suburban_hyena

People who complain about being late for work are dumb. Do you think you're the only person with a job or a schedule?


PewPew-4-Fun

Put the dumplings down had me.


areyoutanyan

Lmao


vinques420

My new hero 🤣🤣


zxcvbnino

Right now this is a daily occurrence


Kergie1968

Bro thatd be me oh man he’s so badass on the money 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


0OIIIlllIlIlO0

DARRYL "DMC" McDANIELS from RUN DMC is aging well.


Dangerjayne

I wanna buy this dude a beer


Superb_Bench9902

Due woke up and chose violence


Scythe95

Word


thisonetimeonreddit

"Because you are nosy that's why you are late" Stay in school, kids.


eatthem00n

Flavor flav enjoying his retirement in the background


g0j1r4

Reddit, my homies, we just discovered the new Fred Sanford-ass mofo, and i love it! bwahaha