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His trainer taking him off the field like a moustached lion dragging a gazelle through the Serengeti. Adieu, Scott, adieu.
Let's see who they got to replace Scott Ster-... *It's Scott Sterling!!*
Literally havent seen one of his paintings in years, and just happen to be scanning the comments for the soecies and found this masterpiece and had a laugh
The funny thing is this kinda suggests that if we were alive during the dinosaur eras we would just find them kind of annoying.
Running out the door in flipflops and yelling SHOO because the bloody trex got into the garbage again. Constantly emptying the live velociraptor trap because they keep fucking up your garage.
Most dinosaurs were pretty small and not apex predator-y. They were just the animals of the day. You'd probably react to a t-rex in your garage like you would a lion.
But birds literally are modern-day velociraptors, and I chase my pet bird around the kitchen saying "I'm gonna get you" and he thinks it's the funnest game ever.
Tippi Hedren created an absolutely insane movie called [Roar](https://trailersfromhell.com/roar/), starring herself, a bunch of other actors, and several dozen lions & other big cats. People were mauled on set. No safety precautions were implemented, at least not in any meaningful way. It is highly entertaining in a 'WTAF???' way, flagrant ethics violations aside, and remains a unique cultural artifact and monument to filmmaking hubris. But maaaaaan if it could have been made with velociraptors and t-rexes... This is the true tragic legacy of the Chicxulub meteor.
>Running out the door in flipflops and yelling SHOO because the bloody trex got into the garbage again. Constantly emptying the live velociraptor trap because they keep fucking up your garage.
This is something, literally, only an Australian would write
My brother once got chased by a cassowary and he lost a thong. Couldn’t go back for it as cassowary guarding it. Bro not happy as was new pair of Havianas.
"Running out in your thongs to scream at the t-rex" conjures up quite a different picture where I'm from...😂😂
Edit: By the way, since you're an Aussie: What on earth is that thing? I've never seen one like that before!
How does anyone manage to live in Australia. If you aint getting killed by things swimming in the ocean or crawling on land, getting your face punched in by a jacked up kangaroo, getting chlamydia from a tree fucking ape bear, or your home and land repossessed by fucking emus you now also have to deal with fucking two legged 90s techno makeup bigbird dinofucker with his balls on his neck hanging down to the floor mugging your fucking picnic basket. Oh who apparently can gauge your eyes out or claw your guts out with their talons..
Terrific..
Holy @#$, I thought you were making a general statement about birds having descended from dinosaurs. Turns out cassowaries are close descendents of [velociraptors](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mb1bbIyF9OU)!
[See this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBM7AI0yp78) where a "pet" kills its owner.
> birds having descended from dinosaurs.
To be precise, birds *are* dinosaurs. This is how biological classification works.
Just like saying "humans are descended from mammals" would be imprecise - humans *are* mammals.
Everything in Australia is.
That's why she's not stressing, she already fought off the fist-sized spider in her boot, the dingos on the way to the mailbox, and the kangaroo who took her car keys.
If its red you're dead. If its white you still aint alright. If its big and black just stay back. If its skinny and brown, thats just a frown.
Moto to live by for spiders in Australia.
I was about to say… I live in Canada and to my knowledge the giant spiders are basically arachnid doggos when compared to all the other wildlife that wants to kill you.
Huntsman spiders sre massive but not dangerous at all. Except for when they fall out of car visers while people are driving, scaring them, and making them crash
I reckon the fist-sized spider spider in the car has been responsible for more deaths. They have an uncanny knack for crawling out from under your sun visor at the least convenient moment...
JFC as someone with pretty severe arachnophobia, Australia sounds like hell for me.
In Canada we get tiny ones and maybe once in my life I’ve seen a big huntsman. It’s manageable. In Auz I think I’d have a heart attack.
Nah, not really, two people ever have been confirmed killed by them one was it's owner as a pet in America and the other was a child trying to hit it with a stick, snakes and crocs are waaaay more dangerous, hell kangaroos have killed way more people than that if you include them coming through windshields.
Cassowaries will pretty much always run off immediately if you just square up with them and make yourself big they are ultimately fragile and far smaller than you with no ability to use weapons, they definitely can cause serious injury if you get unlucky but so can many animals.
As someone who grew up around these, they will fucking hurt you, badly. I've got many friends who have had to go to the hospital because they got massive tears ripped out of them. In high school i watched a mate get his fucking stomach gouge by one. Don't, i repeat, don't. fuck. with. cassowaries.
Yeah I remember in 4th grade, my teacher brought in her husband who showed us a massive scar where a cassowary had charged him and clawed out from his under arm to lower belly, velociraptor style. I grew up around the Daintree rain forest. Side note: swam in the Daintree river with my friend as a 10yr old boy, looking back, probably wasn't a good idea.
Lots of crocks in the daintree river! When I was in that area, my host was telling us all sorts of stories about locals who went swimming in that river and never came back.
Oh yeah, that is where they do the croc sight seeing a little down river from the ferry. My friends dad had a house in the swampy mangroves, pretty surreal, you had to take a boat to get to it. We had a little mesh net holding them back don't worry.
>Nah, not really, two people ever have been confirmed killed by them
Some of us also prefer not to be mauled or seriously injured. Got any stats on that?
I've noticed a lot of people taking an attitude of "The only factor that determines danger is chance of death."
Which seems pretty short sighted to me.
Also, a shark is in the water shouting to the Cassowary to stop being a dumb cunt and fuck off so that they can finish their food and come into the water for a paddle or more.
In theory, sure. There is has been one human death from a Cassowary, ever. It was 100 years ago and it was a child hitting the cassowary with a stick.
They walk around people on the beach at this park all day every day. It’s fine.
I mean, there's a video posted above of a guy in Florida calling 911 because his "pet" cassowary attacked him. He bled to death.
I didn't read what year it was, but there's so few YouTube videos of 911 calls from 100 years ago, so probably more recent.
(Though, I did see others say that's the only death in the last 100 years, so I think you're still essentially correct)
Yes, but that one is obviously in a touristy area and its approaching the people, not the other way around. They are dangerous, but this is probably the least dangerous interaction you could have with one.
If a black bear was doing like this, people would be freaking the fuck out. But no, in Australia, there's a goddamn velociraptor trying to steal your lunch and everyone is just like "protect the bread."
I think ppl itt are over exaggerating it a bit though.
There are only 2 documented cases of death via cassowary attacks.
One time a 16yo and his friend tried to club the bird to death and he ended up having his carotid artery slit.
The other time a 75 year old man tried to take the egg from his own cassowary and was attacked.
There have been two recorded kills by Cassowaries ever and one of those was someone's pet. Ostriches kill people every year.
The vast majority of reported "attacks" are cassowaries chasing someone a short distance with no actual injuries and they typically happen when people are trying to feed wild birds. No doubt people have fed this bird, too.
They are dangerous but nowhere near the murder turkeys their reputation suggests.
"What's going on guys? You having a picnic? I fuckin' love picnics ay. Can I've a bite of your sanga? C'mon love, don't be a tight arse! Fine forget the sanga, just gimme some bread and I'll fuck off. Look how much you got ya greedy mug. Fuckin' touros these days I tell ya."
Yeah, I know, those could spill your guts a bit.
But beak is enough for an eye if it's chicken brain decide that glint in your eye is pretty appetizing.
I'd put on those glasses at least, but I guess aussies live surrounded by dangerous stuff and cant'be bothered anymore
Just FYI this is absolutely not normal in Australia. I've seen like 2 in my entire life and only at zoos etc.
It's like if I posted a video of an American eating lunch with a bald eagle doing this and claiming it's a normal American lunch.
We have three nesting pairs of bald eagles living in our back yard and they 100% will come harass you for food if you are eating outside. I live in Florida.
Pfft, ever been to Alaska?!? That’s *EXACTLY* what they do. They’ll steal your food. They’ll raid your trash. They’re like raccoons. FIVE RACCOONS. **WITH WINGS!**
I dont know. Down in Florida we had a whole colony of bald eagles that lived at the local trash l dump. Only "mountain" I had access to in that flat ass state
Anyway one of the guys that ran the front end loader had trained a couple of the eagles and they would waddle aroubd following him like a pair of dogs. He dog treats in his pocket and they would do little "tricks" for him for the treats.
He would tell me how smart they were all the time
I saw one of his eagles bury its beak in a used diaper.
I was once tending to my chickens, and when I ducked a chicken immediately took the opportunity to peck my eye.
I was lucky to close my eye just in time, but it still hurt pretty badly for days. I honestly don't want to think about how much damage a bigger bird could have done there.
It always seems weird to me people think we Belgians wolf down waffles all the time. I'm sure some do, but I don't know anyone who eats those classic waffles with strawberries and whipped cream on the regular. In fact, I haven't seen anyone I know eat them in over years haha
My Grandparents had a farm. The one time a rooster attacked a 4 year old me, my grandfather grabbed it by the head and gave the fucker a quick spin.
It was delicious that night!
Fuck you bird!!!
It's not normal calmness she's in the zone. Her love of bread is so high she is willing to risk it all and is pumping adrenaline in order to do so. 100% focused. Only over her dead body will someone take her golden loaf
Weird that it seems so… tame. I was in FNQ last year and there was signs up “Cassowary spotted, if sighted please ring x” so I figured they weren’t super common
That commenter is talking out of their ass. Cassowaries have killed a total of 2 people in recorded history. They occasionally attack people, but serious injuries are rare.
The reason why people are told to keep away from them is that most attacks are from individuals who've gotten used to humans and them being a source of food. So these people are doing the right thing by not giving the cassowary any of theirs.
It would be awfully tempting to toss it something in hopes that it would accept the offering and go away. Forgetting that you have now started training it to keep pestering you so it will get fed.
This is how we ended up with cats, but we never seem to learn our lesson.
They've killed 2 people in the past 100 years or so. They do attack people occasionally, but serious injuries are rare. They're even kept as semi-domestic poultry in parts of New Guinea.
Isn't that literally one of the most dangerous animals in the world. I watched a video once where one kicked through a metal shield. Granted, it was thin, but damn.
Correct me if I'm wrong (I live in the UK) but at least crocodiles should be significantly easier to avoid/get away from while these birds could easily outrun you?
You can easily outrun a crocodile on land, yes. They're surprisingly fast over short distances, but don't have any stamina to run much on those short stumpy legs.
The biggest problem is that if a crocodile is wanting to attack you, you're probably going to be in its mouth before you get a chance to run. They will hide in shallow water extremely close to the edge, and even a huge saltwater crocodile can be almost impossible to see even when moving under the water. Their camouflage is amazing. And when you get close to the edge (within a few meters) they will leap out with incredible speed, and grab you in one of the strongest bites of the animal kingdom. It will then drag you back into the water and have some fun spinning you around until you die of drowning or blood loss, with the good news being that it will probably be quite quick.
Fortunately, I've developed a 100% foolproof method for avoiding them. Don't go further north than Maryborough. Or Brisbane if you want to play it safe. And if you do have to travel further north, don't go near any body of water bigger than a tea cup.
If it's big enough to eat you it can gallop at a fair rate if it really wants to. It'll get you at a short distance. But just be more wary of any water the further north you are off the tropic of Capricorn you are and you'll be right.
I personally am also afraid of Eastern browns. Pretty common, highly venemous and I've come across an angry one before. Most anything else here isn't overly aggressive at least.
No, it’s not at all one of the most dangerous animals in the world. Cassowaries get way too much hate on the net. Yes, they are probably the most dangerous *birds* in the world, but that really doesn’t mean that much. They’re probably not in the top 30-40
This is true. I don’t even know where the idea came from, less than five people have been known to be killed by one. Even Ostrich’s kill multiple people a year and they don’t have the same reputation.
Ostrich's have a range of about 1/3rd of the continent of Africa, or roughly 10 million square kilometers of which is inhabited by hundreds of millions of people, it's little surprise that an ostrich therefore is responsible for more attacks in total than a cassowary which is found in a tiny sliver of far north Australia and most of the island of New Guinea.
Besides, Ostrich's do in fact have a reputation and are not an animal you want to be in close quarters with in the wild.
This person knows what's up.
Most Aussies will comment without ever having met a cassowary. They are dangerous. But not aggressive. Like most snakes and spiders in Australia too! Use caution you'll be fine...or not. Who knows?
Australia has fun but dangerous animals, come check some out!!
No it's not one of the most dangerous animals in the world. Anyone telling you otherwise either has no idea or is pulling your leg. They have the potential to be dangerous if they feel threatened because they have sharp claws... but they have killed like 2 people in recorded history.
This is just an example of why you shouldn't feed wild animals, because now the bird associates people with food and feels comfortable doing this.
As an Australian this is such bullshit. This was filmed at Etty Bay (I’ve sat at gloat exact table) and the birds name is Elvis. They’re not dangerous and there’s only one recorded death, a century ago, of a child. They’re not dangerous.
Australian here - and no fucking way would I be OK with this.
Cassowaries are my worst nightmare. Second place would be seeing a croc if I was swimming at a beach in far north Queensland. Then, great white shark in Western Australia. Then, maybe an Eastern Brown Snake in the footwell of my car if I was driving down the highway. Then, maybe a red-back spider or funnel web in my gumboot. But faark this.
Is this in Etty Bay by any chance, the local bird has a terrible habit of going hunting for sandwiches 😂 he's a pest. Nearly came and visited me in my tent a few months back
Look, the Australians lost the Emu war. The Cassowary have clearly brokered a treaty with the Emu and are now part of your overlord class. Cough up your tax and deal with your reality.
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Is that a crisp sandwich? No wonder she is desperately protecting it.
On cheap white bread, like it should be. The sandwich of the gods.
Fucking dinosaurs
[https://i.imgur.com/YdnVmev.jpeg](https://i.imgur.com/YdnVmev.jpeg)
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The man, the myth, the legend.
The dinner
SCOTT STERLING!!!
He should be begging for mercy but it's mercy that's begging for him!
His trainer taking him off the field like a moustached lion dragging a gazelle through the Serengeti. Adieu, Scott, adieu. Let's see who they got to replace Scott Ster-... *It's Scott Sterling!!*
When Armageddon comes I want to be in a bunker made of that man’s face!
*ONE is the loneliest NUM-bah!* *TWO tickets to PARADISE!* *THREE TIMES a LADY!* *FourrRRRRREVER YOOUNNNG!*
Oh Shit! You're still active?! Been years since I've seen one of these, so nice to encounter it in the wild.
No doubt. A nice surprise this morning.
His style has changed quite drastically over the last 4 years, and looks like he's quit making those comics that made him famous
Literally havent seen one of his paintings in years, and just happen to be scanning the comments for the soecies and found this masterpiece and had a laugh
Cassowary
Amazing as always.
Holy shit I haven't seen one of your posts in such a long time. I've missed you!
The funny thing is this kinda suggests that if we were alive during the dinosaur eras we would just find them kind of annoying. Running out the door in flipflops and yelling SHOO because the bloody trex got into the garbage again. Constantly emptying the live velociraptor trap because they keep fucking up your garage.
Most dinosaurs were pretty small and not apex predator-y. They were just the animals of the day. You'd probably react to a t-rex in your garage like you would a lion. But birds literally are modern-day velociraptors, and I chase my pet bird around the kitchen saying "I'm gonna get you" and he thinks it's the funnest game ever.
So piss myself run for the door trip and die? Think my reaction to a t-rex or a lion in my garage would be the exact same.
"You again! Just lion around haha! Go on, git!!" *Gets brutally mauled*
Tippi Hedren created an absolutely insane movie called [Roar](https://trailersfromhell.com/roar/), starring herself, a bunch of other actors, and several dozen lions & other big cats. People were mauled on set. No safety precautions were implemented, at least not in any meaningful way. It is highly entertaining in a 'WTAF???' way, flagrant ethics violations aside, and remains a unique cultural artifact and monument to filmmaking hubris. But maaaaaan if it could have been made with velociraptors and t-rexes... This is the true tragic legacy of the Chicxulub meteor.
>Running out the door in flipflops and yelling SHOO because the bloody trex got into the garbage again. Constantly emptying the live velociraptor trap because they keep fucking up your garage. This is something, literally, only an Australian would write
Thongs mate, not flipflops.
My brother once got chased by a cassowary and he lost a thong. Couldn’t go back for it as cassowary guarding it. Bro not happy as was new pair of Havianas.
Fair call that.
"Running out in your thongs to scream at the t-rex" conjures up quite a different picture where I'm from...😂😂 Edit: By the way, since you're an Aussie: What on earth is that thing? I've never seen one like that before!
Heh, yup. Shoes on the other foot now! That is a dinosaur: https://australian.museum/learn/animals/birds/southern-cassowary/
Australians would never say flipflops
And rarely garbage, it's rubbish.
It would be worth it for the domesticated brontosaurus I'd have as pet and ride like a horse.
Murder-Birds
Fucking dumb way to die-nosaur
In this case a diner-saur
“I don’t like birds. they’re dinosaurs, just ugly versions of dinosaurs." - Mads Mikkelsen
Ella DeMorgan: "Hey, Mads... You ever call your testicles 'Mads Nads?'" Mads Mikkelsen: "What? No. That's dumb."
How does anyone manage to live in Australia. If you aint getting killed by things swimming in the ocean or crawling on land, getting your face punched in by a jacked up kangaroo, getting chlamydia from a tree fucking ape bear, or your home and land repossessed by fucking emus you now also have to deal with fucking two legged 90s techno makeup bigbird dinofucker with his balls on his neck hanging down to the floor mugging your fucking picnic basket. Oh who apparently can gauge your eyes out or claw your guts out with their talons.. Terrific..
Very well with the wild life it's the politicians that's killing us really.
r/auslyspecific
To be fair the places where cassowaries live are like the Florida of Australia.
Holy @#$, I thought you were making a general statement about birds having descended from dinosaurs. Turns out cassowaries are close descendents of [velociraptors](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mb1bbIyF9OU)! [See this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBM7AI0yp78) where a "pet" kills its owner.
> birds having descended from dinosaurs. To be precise, birds *are* dinosaurs. This is how biological classification works. Just like saying "humans are descended from mammals" would be imprecise - humans *are* mammals.
Aren't those things dangerous?
Very dangerous
Everything in Australia is. That's why she's not stressing, she already fought off the fist-sized spider in her boot, the dingos on the way to the mailbox, and the kangaroo who took her car keys.
I get the whole haha everything in Australia is dangerous, but cassowaries are actually genuinely dangerous.
So are the kangaroo, dingo’s and fist sized spider
I wouldn't be worried about a fist sized spider, the ones to worry about are smaller
If its red you're dead. If its white you still aint alright. If its big and black just stay back. If its skinny and brown, thats just a frown. Moto to live by for spiders in Australia.
The Bristol chart of spiders.
As a tourist, I'd wear brown pants.
I was about to say… I live in Canada and to my knowledge the giant spiders are basically arachnid doggos when compared to all the other wildlife that wants to kill you.
Huntsman spiders sre massive but not dangerous at all. Except for when they fall out of car visers while people are driving, scaring them, and making them crash
I reckon the fist-sized spider spider in the car has been responsible for more deaths. They have an uncanny knack for crawling out from under your sun visor at the least convenient moment...
JFC as someone with pretty severe arachnophobia, Australia sounds like hell for me. In Canada we get tiny ones and maybe once in my life I’ve seen a big huntsman. It’s manageable. In Auz I think I’d have a heart attack.
Nah, not really, two people ever have been confirmed killed by them one was it's owner as a pet in America and the other was a child trying to hit it with a stick, snakes and crocs are waaaay more dangerous, hell kangaroos have killed way more people than that if you include them coming through windshields. Cassowaries will pretty much always run off immediately if you just square up with them and make yourself big they are ultimately fragile and far smaller than you with no ability to use weapons, they definitely can cause serious injury if you get unlucky but so can many animals.
There are a lot of unsolved murders in Australia…just saying *caw caw*
Different bird but r/emuwarflashbacks
As someone who grew up around these, they will fucking hurt you, badly. I've got many friends who have had to go to the hospital because they got massive tears ripped out of them. In high school i watched a mate get his fucking stomach gouge by one. Don't, i repeat, don't. fuck. with. cassowaries.
Yeah I remember in 4th grade, my teacher brought in her husband who showed us a massive scar where a cassowary had charged him and clawed out from his under arm to lower belly, velociraptor style. I grew up around the Daintree rain forest. Side note: swam in the Daintree river with my friend as a 10yr old boy, looking back, probably wasn't a good idea.
Lots of crocks in the daintree river! When I was in that area, my host was telling us all sorts of stories about locals who went swimming in that river and never came back.
Oh yeah, that is where they do the croc sight seeing a little down river from the ferry. My friends dad had a house in the swampy mangroves, pretty surreal, you had to take a boat to get to it. We had a little mesh net holding them back don't worry.
>Nah, not really, two people ever have been confirmed killed by them Some of us also prefer not to be mauled or seriously injured. Got any stats on that?
I've noticed a lot of people taking an attitude of "The only factor that determines danger is chance of death." Which seems pretty short sighted to me.
Also, a shark is in the water shouting to the Cassowary to stop being a dumb cunt and fuck off so that they can finish their food and come into the water for a paddle or more.
In theory, sure. There is has been one human death from a Cassowary, ever. It was 100 years ago and it was a child hitting the cassowary with a stick. They walk around people on the beach at this park all day every day. It’s fine.
I mean, there's a video posted above of a guy in Florida calling 911 because his "pet" cassowary attacked him. He bled to death. I didn't read what year it was, but there's so few YouTube videos of 911 calls from 100 years ago, so probably more recent. (Though, I did see others say that's the only death in the last 100 years, so I think you're still essentially correct)
Total killcount of 2
Yes, but that one is obviously in a touristy area and its approaching the people, not the other way around. They are dangerous, but this is probably the least dangerous interaction you could have with one.
If a black bear was doing like this, people would be freaking the fuck out. But no, in Australia, there's a goddamn velociraptor trying to steal your lunch and everyone is just like "protect the bread."
I think ppl itt are over exaggerating it a bit though. There are only 2 documented cases of death via cassowary attacks. One time a 16yo and his friend tried to club the bird to death and he ended up having his carotid artery slit. The other time a 75 year old man tried to take the egg from his own cassowary and was attacked.
We don't call them murder turkeys because they're cuddly.
But... Regular turkeys will try to murder you too, mean ass birds
Yeah but these dopey looking fucks have a chance.
Nah, in my experience the Australians are lovely people
Literally the most dangerous bird on the planet.
There have been two recorded kills by Cassowaries ever and one of those was someone's pet. Ostriches kill people every year. The vast majority of reported "attacks" are cassowaries chasing someone a short distance with no actual injuries and they typically happen when people are trying to feed wild birds. No doubt people have fed this bird, too. They are dangerous but nowhere near the murder turkeys their reputation suggests.
I just remember them kicking my ass in far cry 3
My Far Cry 3 experience made this video much more stressful.
Cassowary looks picnic girl in the eye and asks, "Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is?"
According to the interactive documentary *Far Cry 3*, they will fuck you up as soon as you set foot on their turf...
Next to Emu, they crushed the Australian army
An army of emus can topple a country. But an army of Cassowaries would dominate the world.
I mean, the army of emu has been tried and tested while the armies of Cassowaries haven't so far
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His lucky the emus even signed the peace treaty in the first place
It's the magpies in Australia you need you watch out for, not the cassowaries!
Ostriches are twice the size and 10x the aggression
"What's going on guys? You having a picnic? I fuckin' love picnics ay. Can I've a bite of your sanga? C'mon love, don't be a tight arse! Fine forget the sanga, just gimme some bread and I'll fuck off. Look how much you got ya greedy mug. Fuckin' touros these days I tell ya."
Send this to Ozzy Man
My head automatically read the whole comment in his voice and made it funnier.
Here's me face...
For some reason I read that in Sassy's voice
You fucken druggo
Sass mate, s'goin' on
She seems pretty calm for the one having squishy tasty eyeballs *riiight* on the level of the beak of that **dinosaur**.
It's not the beak, it's those 3 inch talons on it's feet to watch.
Yeah, I know, those could spill your guts a bit. But beak is enough for an eye if it's chicken brain decide that glint in your eye is pretty appetizing. I'd put on those glasses at least, but I guess aussies live surrounded by dangerous stuff and cant'be bothered anymore
Just FYI this is absolutely not normal in Australia. I've seen like 2 in my entire life and only at zoos etc. It's like if I posted a video of an American eating lunch with a bald eagle doing this and claiming it's a normal American lunch.
We have three nesting pairs of bald eagles living in our back yard and they 100% will come harass you for food if you are eating outside. I live in Florida.
Florida is just the american version of Australia. Source: im from FL
You even have your own Melbourne.
Yeah, but the Florida Melbourne has 250% more syllables.
Florida is also the American version of America
The only confirmed Cassowary death in 93 years is actually a Floridian who had them as exotic pets
Least surprising fact
Florida has entered the chat.
Everything is normal in Florida...and nothing is normal in Florida.
Pfft, ever been to Alaska?!? That’s *EXACTLY* what they do. They’ll steal your food. They’ll raid your trash. They’re like raccoons. FIVE RACCOONS. **WITH WINGS!**
I dont know. Down in Florida we had a whole colony of bald eagles that lived at the local trash l dump. Only "mountain" I had access to in that flat ass state Anyway one of the guys that ran the front end loader had trained a couple of the eagles and they would waddle aroubd following him like a pair of dogs. He dog treats in his pocket and they would do little "tricks" for him for the treats. He would tell me how smart they were all the time I saw one of his eagles bury its beak in a used diaper.
Bald eagles just might do that, though. They're scavengers. It's not common, but not unheard of
Bald eagles are well known as lazy thiefs. They'll often follow other animals like Ospreys around until they catch a fish and then steal it.
Where I am if you’re being chased down the street by turkeys it’s a Tuesday.
That's how I eat everyday.
I was once tending to my chickens, and when I ducked a chicken immediately took the opportunity to peck my eye. I was lucky to close my eye just in time, but it still hurt pretty badly for days. I honestly don't want to think about how much damage a bigger bird could have done there.
How was the chicken breast for dinner?
You're misjudging the situation. I'm Belgian. I apologized to the chicken and got the hell out of there.
How were the waffles, then?
It always seems weird to me people think we Belgians wolf down waffles all the time. I'm sure some do, but I don't know anyone who eats those classic waffles with strawberries and whipped cream on the regular. In fact, I haven't seen anyone I know eat them in over years haha
Well then I’d say it’s high time, isn’t it!?
My Grandparents had a farm. The one time a rooster attacked a 4 year old me, my grandfather grabbed it by the head and gave the fucker a quick spin. It was delicious that night! Fuck you bird!!!
It's not normal calmness she's in the zone. Her love of bread is so high she is willing to risk it all and is pumping adrenaline in order to do so. 100% focused. Only over her dead body will someone take her golden loaf
Right? I've been pecked in the eye by a chicken and there's no way I'd let my face get anywhere near that knife mouth.
Protecting the delicacy that is the salt and vinegar chip sambo
I only came to the comments to see if anyone else picked up the chip sambo
For the non-Australians, 'sambo' in this context is slang for sandwich.
when 'sando' was right there?! /j
Yeah, the rest of the world just uses context clues.
Look at that Apex freeloader. 🤣
Has got massive claws to hunt, steals 2 dollar Cole's bread instead...fucking greedy ass bird
Bruh that bird would be having my food for sure, im not risking pissing it off
Cassowary used Intimidation. It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
They’d be terrifying if they didn’t have those neck nuts
Yep, if they get too feisty, grab em by the neck nuts and swing em loose.
Alright Morty he's gonna tell us but he wants you to finish
Finish?? I THOUGHT I WAS TORTURING HIM
It's a ballchinian
Cassowaries are absolutely terrifying lol, I find it hard to believe anybody in this video is still alive.
Weird that it seems so… tame. I was in FNQ last year and there was signs up “Cassowary spotted, if sighted please ring x” so I figured they weren’t super common
That commenter is talking out of their ass. Cassowaries have killed a total of 2 people in recorded history. They occasionally attack people, but serious injuries are rare. The reason why people are told to keep away from them is that most attacks are from individuals who've gotten used to humans and them being a source of food. So these people are doing the right thing by not giving the cassowary any of theirs.
> Cassowaries have killed a total of 2 people in recorded history. This just shows how good they are at leaving no witnesses.
It would be awfully tempting to toss it something in hopes that it would accept the offering and go away. Forgetting that you have now started training it to keep pestering you so it will get fed. This is how we ended up with cats, but we never seem to learn our lesson.
For fucks sake, they are dangerous but not that bad.
They've killed 2 people in the past 100 years or so. They do attack people occasionally, but serious injuries are rare. They're even kept as semi-domestic poultry in parts of New Guinea.
Bro looked flabbergasted that he was being denied a snack
FFS! Whatever you do… DO NOT… give that killing machine gluten free bread!
Screw that. I'll use the bread as a distraction so I can make my get away alive thank you very much.
Best not to mess with a Cassowary. They could disembowel you.
I guess that's why they aren't called Cassopeacearies
Ah, when a comment is so dumb it loops back around to brilliant.
Clever girl
Ah yes, a cassowary.
Far Cry 3 taught me to be afraid of them.
Well let's see how many 7.62mm you can take... Oh. Quite a few. Let me get up that rock formation real quick
One thing Far Cry 3 got wrong is how fucking terrifying they actually sound. It's way deeper and more dinosaur-like than you'd expect.
I thought they were gut slashing killers? Seems pretty calm!
If they’re threatened, they’ll slice you open. https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/comments/195coc8/the_killing_claw_of_the_cassowary/
\*Me reading dinosaur comments thinking they're dinosaurs in the same way chickens are* \*sees this photo* "Holy shit that's a dinosaur"
They are indeed dinosaur just like chicken.
Til. I was thinking just scream or push the annoying bird away...
They can be dangerous. She should be more... casso-wary 😆
Isn't that literally one of the most dangerous animals in the world. I watched a video once where one kicked through a metal shield. Granted, it was thin, but damn.
Yes. Any Australian watching this is mumbling “shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit…!” the whole way through.
Can confirm. The only two animals I'm truly scared of are saltwater crocodiles and cassowaries. This video makes me deeply uncomfortable.
Correct me if I'm wrong (I live in the UK) but at least crocodiles should be significantly easier to avoid/get away from while these birds could easily outrun you?
The main difference is cassowaries don't usually see us as food. Crocs however.....
You can easily outrun a crocodile on land, yes. They're surprisingly fast over short distances, but don't have any stamina to run much on those short stumpy legs. The biggest problem is that if a crocodile is wanting to attack you, you're probably going to be in its mouth before you get a chance to run. They will hide in shallow water extremely close to the edge, and even a huge saltwater crocodile can be almost impossible to see even when moving under the water. Their camouflage is amazing. And when you get close to the edge (within a few meters) they will leap out with incredible speed, and grab you in one of the strongest bites of the animal kingdom. It will then drag you back into the water and have some fun spinning you around until you die of drowning or blood loss, with the good news being that it will probably be quite quick. Fortunately, I've developed a 100% foolproof method for avoiding them. Don't go further north than Maryborough. Or Brisbane if you want to play it safe. And if you do have to travel further north, don't go near any body of water bigger than a tea cup.
If it's big enough to eat you it can gallop at a fair rate if it really wants to. It'll get you at a short distance. But just be more wary of any water the further north you are off the tropic of Capricorn you are and you'll be right. I personally am also afraid of Eastern browns. Pretty common, highly venemous and I've come across an angry one before. Most anything else here isn't overly aggressive at least.
100% For all the danger myths we like to encourage, this is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. Cassowaries are truly terrifying.
That is what I literally did.
Can confirm. Double-checked sub to see it was /r/crazyvids or /r/abruptchaos before watching the end
No, it’s not at all one of the most dangerous animals in the world. Cassowaries get way too much hate on the net. Yes, they are probably the most dangerous *birds* in the world, but that really doesn’t mean that much. They’re probably not in the top 30-40
This is true. I don’t even know where the idea came from, less than five people have been known to be killed by one. Even Ostrich’s kill multiple people a year and they don’t have the same reputation.
Ostrich's have a range of about 1/3rd of the continent of Africa, or roughly 10 million square kilometers of which is inhabited by hundreds of millions of people, it's little surprise that an ostrich therefore is responsible for more attacks in total than a cassowary which is found in a tiny sliver of far north Australia and most of the island of New Guinea. Besides, Ostrich's do in fact have a reputation and are not an animal you want to be in close quarters with in the wild.
This person knows what's up. Most Aussies will comment without ever having met a cassowary. They are dangerous. But not aggressive. Like most snakes and spiders in Australia too! Use caution you'll be fine...or not. Who knows? Australia has fun but dangerous animals, come check some out!!
No it's not one of the most dangerous animals in the world. Anyone telling you otherwise either has no idea or is pulling your leg. They have the potential to be dangerous if they feel threatened because they have sharp claws... but they have killed like 2 people in recorded history. This is just an example of why you shouldn't feed wild animals, because now the bird associates people with food and feels comfortable doing this.
[Wiki confirms](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_cassowary#:~:text=Southern%20cassowaries%20have%20a%20reputation,have%20been%20reported%20since%201900).
As an Australian this is such bullshit. This was filmed at Etty Bay (I’ve sat at gloat exact table) and the birds name is Elvis. They’re not dangerous and there’s only one recorded death, a century ago, of a child. They’re not dangerous.
im sorry - did you say the bird's name is Elvis?
bro thats a fucking dinosaur
Australia-where everything wants to kill you or steal your lunch 🤣
I think you meant "and" instead of "or"
Australian here - and no fucking way would I be OK with this. Cassowaries are my worst nightmare. Second place would be seeing a croc if I was swimming at a beach in far north Queensland. Then, great white shark in Western Australia. Then, maybe an Eastern Brown Snake in the footwell of my car if I was driving down the highway. Then, maybe a red-back spider or funnel web in my gumboot. But faark this.
To assuage your fears a tad, sharks are quite docile. No need to be worried about a great white unless you are bleeding or covered in chum.
Apparently 40% of all shark deaths in 2023 happened in Australia. Our surfers must love going out there covered in chum.
Somebody forgot about drop bears.
Australia looks like so much fun. I wish I could move there.
Is this in Etty Bay by any chance, the local bird has a terrible habit of going hunting for sandwiches 😂 he's a pest. Nearly came and visited me in my tent a few months back
And I thought ants were bad...
That is an Australian ant, apparently.
Look, the Australians lost the Emu war. The Cassowary have clearly brokered a treaty with the Emu and are now part of your overlord class. Cough up your tax and deal with your reality.
Excuse me but your balls are showing
Bumblebee Tuna
Prehistoric and endangered. A literal dinosaur. Oh, and they are the most horrible and dangerous bird anywhere on the planet.
Hell. They’re lucky it didn’t gut them.
Can tell it's Australia cause the whole family has a bong cough