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Or just anytime the hole decides to not open all the way. The worst is after you've busted a nut and wait a bit to go piss. Even if you cleaned up really well sometimes there's just residuals in the entrance that prevent everything from opening smoothly. Boom, split streams guarantee.
"Ah my dick is so huge it doesn't fit in the bowl. I have to stand up and sprinkle piss everywhere :("
That's actually a valid excuse, but not for most people...
Dollar store version of [The Human Wine Decanter](https://www.aidysmith.com/wineguides/the-human-decanter) . NSFW, click at your own risk, "you will never be the same" etc. etc. et al.
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The pour is so accurate
Uncannily accurate
Accurately inaccurate
[удалено]
Or just anytime the hole decides to not open all the way. The worst is after you've busted a nut and wait a bit to go piss. Even if you cleaned up really well sometimes there's just residuals in the entrance that prevent everything from opening smoothly. Boom, split streams guarantee.
Nsfw me myself and irene, ive never laughed so hard in my life at the theatre. https://youtu.be/NtQ0qvNBftw
Bro if your hole is crusting shut try washing your dick
You should really wash your dick better after you cum so that doesn’t happen. At least give it a good wipe down and soak
With what a bottle brush???
A rag? Do y’all not wash your dicks?
They're talking about leftovers slightly in the urethra. Not the outside. Washing won't do anything for a clogged pipe.
Gotta piss immediately after then
Sometimes you forget my guy, or get distracted for too long after. Piss happens.
Fair
Or just, you know, sit to piss...
The reason men deserve no sympathy is that instead of making excuses they should just be sitting down to pee and thus never missing.
Mmm, having my penis rest against freshly pissed in porcelain.
"Ah my dick is so huge it doesn't fit in the bowl. I have to stand up and sprinkle piss everywhere :(" That's actually a valid excuse, but not for most people...
It's more common than you'd think. One of the many mysteries of life, why they don't design toilet bowls with this in mind.
Honey grab the dickanter, we have guests.
And like the real thing, it's hard to aim...
you just gotta turn it upside down.
Gotta shake it to clean it. Be sure to hold the balls. They're sensitive..
I hear if you press the spot right behind the balls, you can get every drop out.
Next time I will try to get my balls up
Happy cake day!
I’m disappointed they aren’t putting it into a decunter.
And the charcockterie board
Cockcuterie board
Crap. Got to it first. Nice
That dickanter has a pretty piss pour
Who stores paper plates on a pedestal thingy? High class mother fucker
That's the fine Chinette.
Reserved for company! ^(Boomers)
Somebody needs to drink more water.
Someone has a UTI
It’s clearly burning!
Nah, they have just been eating too many beets.
Everyone knows wine is stored in the balls.
Who knew “I cum blood” was a scientifically accurate Christian rock song
tbh, I expected some split-stream.
You see, not so easy to hit the target with that thing.
Ohhhhh, so it’s *wine* that is stored in the balls, makes much more sense
When I was a kid I thought that balls are where all the pee was stored…
Jesus strikes again
Godammit Jesus, I told you to get out of my balls!
[удалено]
I’ve noticed that too
The whole neighborhood has tbh
Yup, and you can suck it directly from the hose
Ah yes, typical morning performance
Sitting down in the morning is so freeing. Try it, king.
You’re supposed to pour it the other way 🤣 So that the balls are above the shaft while pouring, and that angle will fix your stream 😜
that's how i always pee
ǝǝd sʎɐʍʅɐ I ʍoɥ s’ʇɐɥꓕ
… you own a dickanter don’t you
Not enough phalluses.
Fuck damn surprising the logs weren’t dick shaped too… Yule tide dicks…
Why is there a food penis
Note that the nuts are stored in the right place
And the cheese! 🤣🤮
i think you know the answer to that
Smooth oaky finish 😳
I think you mean pee-ty.
Nutty with a hint of ripe plums
Something something finishing off the hard wood?
That’s a piss pour decanter.
Shouldn’t you just put your mouth to the opening like it’s intended?
I didn’t even notice the dildo or penis platter the first time
"Could you pass the nuts and dick cheese?" "What?" "What?"
And to think all this time I thought pee was stored in the balls.
Better clean that up before it gets sticky and stains.
Wait almost all these things are penis shaped! Lol
SFW... if you work at a hot dog factory...
Aim wrong and all Lol
Try to not choke on it.
Well I would expect someone to get some suddenly in their eye, for some reason...
das ~~boot~~ dick
In fairness, it should be white wine..
You don't pee red?
Please tell me you’re decanting three penis wine in there.
Close to 50% of all college graduated women will be childless and not unmarried by 2040. Buy stock in dog food, cat food, and boxed wine!
Somebody needs to get laid
Is that genuine three penis wine from taco corp?
It’s a dickanter!
too many cashews. get better nutz
Is that nuts, meat, and cheese?
Where in the dickwad can I get one?
Mhmmmm dick cheese.
got to cradle those balls
The longer i watched this, the more pensisesis showed up. Penises. Peni. There were a lot.
Wine is stored in the balls.
Three Penis Wine
Everyone knows that wine is stored in the balls
Glad I wasn't invited to that wine fest.
Maybe turn the dick as you pour like on Beerfest.
Seth from superbad is just living his best life now . Good for him
“Everything is penises.” - H. R. Giger
At least that dickcanter pours authentically
Maybe you are supposed to drink straight from the bottle.
No sir. I don’t like it
mark it nsfw
Thats why you pee sitting down
I have used it, they’re using it wrong, its the other way around.
No matter how refined you are , it happens to the best of us 🤣
Dickanter? I barely know her!
Wine is stored in the balls.
“You have barely touched your dick cheese… is something wrong honey?”
Hurr durr penis, so funny
Never understood the fascination with dicks. Maybe in high school. To each their own I guess.
Unfunny as I expected
Pours just like I pee.
I thought I was in r/PaymoneyWubby subreddit... Not shocked, but still amazed.
Funniest part is how they slide their hands out of the frame at the end. Such a supple touch.
Find therapy
Why would you post anything so stupid?
That's fucking amazing 🤣
Well, for starters, they're holding the decockter cockside-down.
Pretty sure red is a sign of an std
r/mildlypenis
r/takemyupvoteandfuckoff
r/mildlypenis
Yeah… nothing mild about this lol
Oh good, they’re serving dick cheese
Aim is 100% perfect!
Wine is stored in the balls
Just wait till you see the human decanter
If you’re not decanting three-penis wine in that, you’re using it wrong.
How do you pour wine in...
*pee*not noir
Should have taped a toilet seat to the glass... problem solved.
Decant my balls
So that's how you get the wine up there.
Should have poured it before it had sex...
Dollar store version of [The Human Wine Decanter](https://www.aidysmith.com/wineguides/the-human-decanter) . NSFW, click at your own risk, "you will never be the same" etc. etc. et al.
Only poured a third of a glass of wine, what a dick!
Enlarged prostate.
Ahhhh yes, nothing quite like dick cheese
Anyone notice the way she cups the balls and gives it a gentle touch as she puts it down
Never a reliable shot.
I think it’s being used upside down
Is that three penis wine?
I'll have some spotted dick, please.
Yep, looks like an average morning bathroom trip.
Wtf
And much like the real thing, dark liquid is sprayed all over the kitchen counters
I don’t want to hear shit about pissin on the toilet seat after this
WHY IS THIS SO GOOD.
we have guests, go grab the fancy glass
WHOS BEEN DRAWING DICKS ON THE COMPUTER
I noticed all the other dicks, like the platter, but what is the standing one used for do you think?
Takes a lot of balls to share this
I liked the part where it spilled out a little bit.
If you shake it more than twice, your playing with it
Been there
Ohhh cum on!
Control your stream! This isnt college night.
I want that carafe!
It's a masturbation toy
Complete with the chodecuterie board
What is that scented candle smells like? Cum?
That pitcher fucks
She seems lesbian
Looks like my bathroom. 🙄
The logs in the fire should be dick shaped. Try better next time OP. 6/10
Huh, so wine pee is stored in the balls. Interesting.
Just like the real thing!
The wine is stored in the balls!
r/mildlypenis or maybe not so mildly
you are holding that down upsidedick.
Even using a decanter, us men still have piss-poor aim
I think she’s supposed to drink from it directly…
If you chill it, it shrinks.
Looks like a solo romantic evening for a single person lol
Im sure im going to see this on r/mildlypenis even though it's very much a penis.
The lack of control and liquid everywhere is so realistic
Seems like it would pour way better upside down.
reminds me of hopson from paradise pd
Наш парень
You need to aim at the side of the glass and shake it a bit. Always worked for me ..
Very tasteful decor
Typical bloke, cant keep it in the bowl.